FINISHING SCHOOLS? WHAT ARE THEY?

What's a Finishing School? 

I've often thought the term "finishing" has some negative implications, such as you're through. You're done. Sad.

Finishing School used to be where rich parents sent their daughters to refine their manners and prepare themselves to join Society, perhaps to become debutants, but  "deb" or not, to become the wives of men of means and importance, where socializing and entertaining were part of the lifestyle. When education wasn't emphasized or careers impossible, young women as teenagers were sometimes sent off to these schools without completing high school or the school might offer some classes that could bring a person up to the level where they could run a household or pass today's GED. Although women through the centuries have had intelligence, when marriage and children were the intention it wasn't thought education was important.

Diana Spencer, never a scholarly teen, went. So did Jacqueline Bouvier who became First Lady of the United States and Carla Bruni wife of former President of France,  Nicolas Sarkozy.

Like chocolates, the schools in Switzerland were said to be the finest.

Though young women with advantages and opportunities to socialize with rich people have been exposed to that lifestyle growing up, these schools were meant to further refine and to communicate that they were all grown up and ready to be married.

Now there is only one finishing school left operating in that country and the curriculum has changed because today many women opt for higher education and go directly from prep school to university. There are schools elsewhere though, in London, in Japan.

Finishing is actually, in my opinion, Polishing.

Putting your best forward. Smoothing communication. Removing the rude.

Now, being polished can very much be about your career, especially if you need to navigate the customs of other cultures. This is especially true when a person from Europe or America needs to do business in Japan or China.

There are some variants of Finishing School. In the United States "Charm" school is often a Modeling School. Posture (walking tall, perhaps balancing a book on your head), composure (keeping your hands still and in your lap or your legs together when sitting) and having someone else advise you on fashion, hair, and cosmetics, is key.

I've had associates who went to these schools as teenagers as they did want to try modeling or were going into fashion or hair dressing.

I've regularly met men and women who desperately needed to become less crude. Some were good people but ones who blurted without thinking how insensitive they were being to others. Despite succeeding past their parents, they still told horrible jokes, openly put people down for not having as much as they did or ridiculed disabled people, ate with their mouths open, wore scuffed brown shoes with blue suits, or talked only about themselves. It could be cringe worthy.

Finishing Schools vary on what you might be taught so I've made a list. Please note that men too need the information that's taught. 

Table manners.

How to set a table for casual dining to banquets.

Napkin folding.

Flower arranging.

How to be a host or house guest.

Dealing with delicate situations. (What to say or not say.)

Gifts. What's appropriate.

Running a household. (How to hire and deal with servants.)

What to wear for various sports and events.

Some may include.

Dancing.

Languages.

Skiing.

Horseback riding.

I think people who are encountering those more privileged than themselves tend to repress themselves and observe, following the lead of others around them, in order to learn. My experience is that the very rich from birth like what they like and are not so out to impress. 

Who needs it?

I'd say anyone going into international business or diplomacy. World travelers. Anyone who finds themselves involved in business in foreign countries. Scholarship students to private or elite colleges.

What does it cost? 

Several schools I found on the Internet didn't show their prices, others did. Some went on line for classes during Covid-19 others like Anna Bey's School of Affluence are always on line. A discount price I noticed on one school's web site had cut their price from $1500 to $500. I found one article, from a 2013 Business Insider, called "Wealthy Chinese Women Are Paying $16,000 for 10 Days of Finishing School" by Liz O'Connor.

You can learn some of these things by reading books. Go for the ones published recently.

I decided that I would not link to any schools because I don't think I've ever linked to anything that costs money like this. I'm sure you can do a little research yourself if you're thinking of going.

Missy

C 2021 All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

CORONAVIRUS-19 UPDATE here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT

Hello Readers,

I'm aware that during this crisis, a Pandemic of the Coronavirus-19, more people are staying home, keeping busy, and may be reading this blog, MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT. on the Internet.  Welcome!

I'm well and currently not personally worried, though many of the plans I made have been cancelled. This gives me more time to research and work on this blog, as well as go down my list of things to do that I back burnered.  I've enjoyed walking in the rain these last couple days, my pink umbrella over my head in contrast to the grey skies and between rains the sky has been glorious with white puffy clouds in a vivid blue.

I've read around the subject, listened to videos of news and announcements, hard news and conspiracy theories, and have been the recipient of a print out circulated by a senior citizen that supposedly comes from one of the doctors in Wuhan, China, with warnings about how to conduct ourselves to stay virus-free.  The truth is there's lots of contradictory advice.

As I told my senior citizen friend who gave me the handout, it makes sense that we would cancel or not attend events with over 200 people but come on - it only takes one person to one person contact to get the virus.  Statistics, as my professor in college liked to say, can indicate but not predict.  The economic impact of the crisis is apparent, though if this passes in a month, I think we will catch up economically.  What the authorities are trying to do is ease the number of cases that our emergency workers have to deal over time rather than have a more sudden rise.  This gives more time to understand the disease, do testing, and come up with a vaccine.

If you by some chance have not heard about the warnings, the basic things you can do to try and not spread or prevent contracting this scary disease include washing your hands frequently and be careful not to sneeze, cough, or share bodily fluids with others. (Skip sex.)

I'm doing the following to reduce my chances.

I'm carrying  sanitizing wet wipes with me and using them to touch door handles, elevator buttons, and public toilet flushers.

I'm wearing a big loose scarf around my neck which I can raise to my face if I feel I need to cover my mouth and nose or protect myself from people who sneeze and cough.

I'm carrying a bottle of hand sanitizer with me and a bar of soap, should I encounter situations where I need to wash my hands and none is provided.

I'm waving hello rather than shaking hands.

I'm making big pots of nutritious soup, eating citrus, and taking vitamin supplements, particularly vitamin C.

I'm getting sleep.

If hand sanitizer is not available on your store shelves, the main ingredient can be alcohol and you can wipe your hands with that, or mix it with aloe vera gel (sometimes sold as an after-tan product) to make your own.  There are several YouTube videos showing how to mix that up.

I have not horded supplies.

Some time off can be a good thing.

Take Care!

Missy

2020 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

HONG KONG BOAC and A MESSAGE FROM MISSY ON COMMENTS

 Missy here! 

I was just looking through COMMENTS today and found some Spam as well as a few very nice posts that I could not post because they contained personal information such as e-mail addresses.  Generally, I may post a good comment that appears under a related post that has a link to your own Noncommercial Blog or Website, but if you put an e-mail address I won't.  I have no way of knowing for sure that you're the actual owner of that e-mail but even if you are, it doesn't seem safe or smart to. To expose an e-mail like that is a great way for you to be badly spammed yourself.

I heard from one of the authors of a book I posted who thanked me but also wanted my review to be used on Amazon. Thanks for the compliment but Amazon ownership is incredibly wealthy. In fact Jeff B. is one of the richest men in the world. And I'm not at all.  Why should my hard work at  buying or borrowing books, reading, writing a review, and posting, be used or owned by anyone but me? If you want to link from  your official author blog to my review, that's respectful. Sometimes I spend many hours on my subject. So no I am not giving my Copyright over to one of the riches men in the world. And don't you either!

Which brings up the fact that though I do all that work, the profiles of Kept Men and Women and other topics here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO are not biographies.  I'm always open to your comments, including if you politely disagree with me, but please also provide some references, such as the name of the book or a link to an article that defies the stance I've decided to take.  I can't read them all but I just might.  Also, sometimes I will use more than one book and post and review the other book(s) later in the month.

I try to post images that are OK to use for NONPROFIT BLOGS and WEB SITES, some in the Public Domain, some not.  If you copy an image I have searched for and used here and are making bucks using it or making bucks on the site where you used it, let me remind you that's not the usual Copyright or Fair Use agreement and You may end up in trouble!

Finally, though I don't write for hits, I do look at stats and I do hope that those of you who are attracted to this site looking for the most scandalous stories will read more and come to understand that for every one mistress who was considered scandalous and so had a book or books written about her, or who wrote her own memoir, there were probably at least a thousand others who continued to live private lives.  The purpose of this blog is not to out people so much as to come to understand that there was no one way for a women (or man) to become or be a Mistresses (or Kept).  So, do me a favor and go further with your reading  about Dawn Shiller, and Faith Domergue to women like our Honorary Mistress of May 2017, Lindsay Mills, to Isadora Duncan or Georgia O'Keefe. Take a look in PAGES where I've been keeping a list of all the topics!  I guarantee your understanding will deepen, even your feminism may deepen, as has mine!  Missy

PROFESSOR XIE ZOUSHI SUGGESTS POOR CHINESE MEN SHOULD SHARE A WIFE?! MISSY HAS SOME STRONG OPINIONS!

DAILY MAIL - CHINESE MEN SHOULD SHARE A WIFE?

(check out my previous posts on CHINESE MISTRESSES!  Use the search feature embedded in the side bar to search within this blog using the word China, or for September 2015  Chinese Empress Dowager Cixi, or for January of 2011, Chinese concubines and Mistresses!)

EXCERPT:

A Chinese economics professor has made the daring suggestion that China's poorest bachelors should group together and share a wife.

 

Xie Zuoshi, a professor at Zhejiang University of Finance in eastern China, made the proposal in a post on his personal blog reported People's Daily Online.
 

The post was in response to the recently unveiled statistics that predicted China will have 30 million more men than women by 2020...

MISSY'S OPINION!

 



China's one child policy, which resulted in MILLIONS of female fetuses being aborted in favor of having just one SON, this incredible and horrible sexism in Chinese culture (which used to be played out by forms of infanticide such as throwing female babies down wells or smothered to death simply because it used to be that the FIRST CHILD had to be a SON) has now resulted in about 30 MILLION MEN who have no choice of brides.  Possibly this is an economic problem only, but not probably.  Where there are so fewer WOMEN, women do have a greater choice of men. 

But a friend who once moved to ALASKA because she was so very tall, though beautiful, that she was not being asked on dates, came back to America and said, "There are men in Alaska but the problem is that Alaska is in the men..." 

I suspect that  while CHINESE WOMEN can be pickier than perhaps ever before, choosing a husband isn't only about money but also CLASS and TRADITION, such as parents doing the matchmaking, as well as issues such as PHYSICAL APPEARANCE and DISABILITY, and LOCATION, factoring in.

Maybe the Professor was being practical, but the article doesn't seem to mention what he thought WOMEN might think about HAVING TWO HUSBANDS in CHINESE CULTURE.  It's true that there have been some cultures in which a woman had two or even many husbands AT THE SAME TIME, all living together or close by, but I've taken the anthropology class; most often these men are BROTHERS and basically, she does NOT have to sexually satisfy ALL OF THEM.  Instead, the genetic and economic issue means that the brothers total a smaller number of children to support though this shared wife, because the WIFE is very much stuck at home doing FEMALE SPECIFIC work.  And if you sleep with a bunch of brothers, maybe none of them are going to know for sure that they are or are not the father of a certain child.

Also, American men are IMPORTING CHINESE WOMEN AS BRIDES to live here with them and become U.S. Citizens and wealthy Chinese women are also coming right here to HAVE 2nd and 3rd children!  (I recently saw a group of them being given a tour of a garden together, with one man who spoke some English as the guide.  How rare to see a bevy of young Chinese beauties, all seven or more months pregnant, sans wedding bands, walking through the garden!)  I've previously read that Chinese men are importing South Korean women to marry.

So if you happen to be a CHINESE MAN WITHOUT ANY PROSPECTS FOR MARRIAGE (or if you happen to be Professor Xie Zoushi), may I suggest that some people will have to LEAVE CHINA to marry? As in the history of the United States, a starting point is to find Cousins here in the U.S. to sponsor you!  Further, you may have to give up on the idea of marrying another person who appears Asian!  As there is a surplus of women all over the world who want to be married and who are attracted to men outside their own race or ethnicity, this is also a possibility. 

And, of course, some of you never married Chinese men, actually will prefer to remain unmarried, but have one or many Mistresses through your life time!  Just like the old Emperors!

Missy

 

LISA SEE : PEONY IN LOVE : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK RECOMMENDATION

 

The exclusive world of the Emperor's Concubines that we've been exploring in the dramatic story of EMPRESS DOWAGER CIXI this month, is a world in which women are controlled from birth to death and even those who manage to manipulate their way to the top have to do so within restrictive protocols.

 

Present day mistresses are often assumed to be in wait to be a man's next legal wife, but while reading Peony in Love, one of a few books by author Lisa See that I've read that are based on the old Chinese or Chinese-Americans, I realized that for some Mistresses as was the case for some Chinese Concubines, there was freedom in not being a wife.

 

Did you know that a Chinese man's concubine's were considered to be his property even in the afterworld?

Lisa See's novel is based on the way of life that the Chinese lived in the 17th century and her main character is a the only child and daughter of a wealthy man who's own marriage is arranged. Kept secluded and far from the facts of life, she dreams of romance and passion with a man of her own choosing.

Her own father has concubines and all such girls, when imagining what the man they have been arranged to marry will be like, knows that the concubines are freer than they are.

Page 37

"Since marriages were arranged and neither the bride or the groom had any say in the match, concubines were every wife's fear. Husbands fell in love with concubines. They came together by choice, had no responsibilities, and would delight in each other's company, while marriages were a matter of duty and a way to provide sons who, in time, would perform rites in the ancestral hall."

The story is richly written, and set in a crucial time, about 1644, when the Ming dynasty fell and the Quing, lead by the Manchus, began, and the country is in turmoil. This crisis became an opportunity for some women to lead a freer and more expressive life in China before life became more repressive again and women did take the opportunity.

C 2015 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

GARDENIA

BEJING OPERA PERFORMANCE pf THE DRUNKEN CONCUBINE

THE DRUNKEN CONCUBINE

There are many Chinese Opera clips and films on YouTube but I chose this one because of the informative post that comes with it.  "Chinese opera has a history dating some 2,000 years. There are 317 types of opera, of which Peking opera is the most important and well-known. The practitioner of Peking opera is a master athlete -- he must be in top physical shape to accommodate the rigors of this performance art. Most performers begin their training from childhood. A well-known example is Kungfu star Jacky Chan, who started training in Peking opera as a child. Performers wear extensive makeup; their whole faces are painted in bright colors. Colorful masks, inspired from ancient ceremonies and religious symbols, are done by the actors. The color of each character's face is significant as it represents the character's personality and fate.

The Emperors, Empresses, and many others, including Cixi, had Operas performed in their palaces for entertainment, even daily.

CHINESE PHOENIX BIRD EMBRODERIE

RED CHINESE BIRD CAGE

CHINA'S EMPRESS DOWAGER CIXI : MISTRESS OF THE MONTH SEPTEMBER 2015

 

EMPRESS DOWAGER CIXI

(1835- 1908)

 

Loved this book and you will too if you if you're interested in Chinese history and the

rise of a woman from concubine to a behind the scenes Ruler of China.

 

Imagine being twelve years old - maybe fourteen.  You have no say about your life at all.  You must obey your father - your parents - your family.  They can even tell you to commit suicide and you will follow through.  You've been raised to be obedient.  And you cannot be married to someone of your own choosing, or married at all, until you are paraded before the Emperor along with many other girls, brought to the Forbidden City on carts. 

 

If he rejects you, you go home to your family.  If  he chooses you, you go home for a year or so, until you are called to him.  If he (or his mother) chooses you to be one of his many concubines, then you must live segregated in a harem with the rest of the women at the back of the immense Forbidden City, where you may live a life of loneliness, or rise, step by step, to be a person of privilege, maybe even his favorite.  Only one young woman is chosen to be the Empress, his wife, and he may not even be the one to choose her. 

 

Chosen for the harem, you will not choose your own décor, clothing, or food,  as all of it is regulated to announce status.  What colors of silk, how many flowers in your hair, how high your shoes, how many cooked chickens for eating; everything is dictated.  You may or may not get along with the other women and girls. 

 

There are eight rungs on the ladder of the imperial consorts and if you are Cixi you begin on rung six.  You may never rise higher. 

 

Cixi did rise, because she was submissive and well liked by the Empress. 

 

She learned as his wife had, that the Emperor, called "The Limping Dragon," loves sex.  He increases the numbers of his consorts.  He also brings in prostitutes with bound feet and even goes outside for pleasure.

For two years Emperor Xianfeng paid no attention to Lan, a name not of her choosing, at all. Born in 1835, she entered the harem on June 26, 1852. It was his wife, Empress Zhen, who took a great liking to her, protected her, and raised her rank slightly until she requested to be renamed, from then on to be called Cixi. 

The Empress Zhen and the lowly concubine Cixi became great friends.  When he died, though not officially his mother, though she gave birth to him, Cixi's son became the Emperor and she and The Empress became "The Two Dowager Empresses" who, still confined to the back of the palace, and sitting unseen behind a yellow screen, basically ruled China until the son was married and had his own marriage.  Then the son died, only a couple years later of smallpox, and on his deathbed he asked the women to continue their role as advisors to the council.  They wanted to keep it going that way. 

In 1871 Cixi chose the three year old son of her sister to be the next Emperor.  The Empress Zhen died ten years later and so Cixi delayed his marriage until he was seething 19 year old. At that point she retired to the Sea Palace and kept herself entertained by designing her clothing and jewelry and having live operas performed for her entertainment.  She had servants holding her cigarettes and umbrellas.  It was not enough for this powerful woman. By 60 she was wearing wigs over her balding head and had lost heart. 

As history goes, she would never find great peace.  China would experience the Taiping and Boxer Rebellions, wars with France and Japan, as well as the invasion of Allied troops, including Great Britain and the United States, during her life time.

Though she may have been selected for being a obedient and unopinionated when just a girl, Cixi became hated. She had chosen a wife for the new Emperor Guangxu, who had been born her sister's son. This wife was the Empress Longyu who had been, at marriage, a 21 year old spinster, an older woman.  At his death she would do the honorable thing and commit suicide, leaving his favorite concubine Pearl to fend for herself.  At 64, Cixi, in an escape fleeing the Forbidden City in the year 1900, ordered Pearl to commit suicide.  When Pearl wouldn't, she was tossed down a well.

Cixi lived exiled with a large group of other aristocrats and servants in Xian, but remained a ruler of China, and a secret feminist, hating the inequality that women experienced in China and the attitudes against them.  Though she was aging, the Emperor Guangxu was a feeble man.  They returned to Beijing in about 1901-1902.  She died in 1908.

Of great interest to me was the power of these two women in their political alliance, which they had to handle so carefully so as to not be accused of treason, and which was immense.  This is the story of strong women and weak men.  Yet, they were women, and not free to live entirely as they liked however rich and privileged they had become.  When lonely and young as a widow, Cixi had taken one lover, a eunuch, and when he was beheaded she had a breakdown, and never took a lover again.  Unable to have more children as a Dowager, he strove to put those who were blood related to her and family on the throne of China, with failure.

C 2015 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot/ Missy Rapport  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

 

HOW MANY BILLIONAIRES LIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY? YOUR TOWN?

TELEGRAPH UK - 2089 BILLIONAIRES - LIVE WHERE?  by Andrew Marszal - see the map!

The world now has a record 2,089 billionaires – and for the first time, India has more of them than Britain or Russia... The US still holds the crown for most mega-wealthy residents, at 537... New York remains the favourite city of the uber-rich, with 91 billionaires, while London is still fifth with 49.

IN CHINA MISTRESSING IS BUSINESS AND BETTER THAN WORKING LIKE A SLAVE IN A FACTORY

DAILY BEAST : INSIDE CHINA'S MISTRESS INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX full article,

Increasingly, young migrant women turn to hostessing in karaoke bars, a form of prostitution that creates a pool of potential mistresses looking to improve their financial security.

It is difficult to make moral judgments with a broad brushstroke. As long as the mistress business involves adults with sound minds and without coercion or intimidation, one could argue that the exchange of company and sex for money is not that fundamentally different from selling one’s manual labor or mental capacity.

Iris doesn’t appear to have moral qualms about having a relationship with a married man. “It was a little weird at the beginning, but I got over it quickly.” She says she assumed his wife was middle-aged and not attractive, and didn’t ask any questions about her. “Morally, if he didn’t care, why should I? I am not obligated to another woman’s happiness.”

THE OIL VENDOR and THE COURTESAN by FENG MENGLONG : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

Of special interest to Mistresses!

The Oil Vender and the Courtesan
Tales from the Ming Dynasty
by Feng Menglong
and Translated by Ted Wang and Chen Chen
Welcome Rain Publishers, New York

A wonderful book full of special short stories that have the feel of real life and of special interest to readers of MISTRESS MANIFESTO ! The tale of the title is about a young woman alone who is taken as a young girl into a house of prostitution, which is sounding very similar to the Japanese custom of Geisha.

The story revolves around the character is Miss Lovely, who works for Ninth Mother Wang, the madam. Reluctant to be a prostitute because she comes from a good family, this is the talk that she is given by the madam... on page 11. The italic is mine.

"I was born in a good family," said Miss Lovely," and it only my mischance that I have landed in this house of prostitution. Nothing would make me happier than your helping me find a husband and becoming a decent woman. I would die rather than have to stand at the doorway to welcome and send off patrons with a simpering smile on my lips."

Fourth Mother Liu replied, "becoming a decent woman, or "going straight" as we call it, is indeed the right thing to do. That, I do not gainsay. However, going straight comes in different ways and takes different forms."

Miss Lovely asked, "What do you mean by that?"

Fourth Mother explained. "Well, there is going straight and felicitous going straight. Or going straight may take place when times are still good, or may be done in desperation. Going straight may be final, but it may also be unfulfilled. Bear with me, my child, as I explain these choices to you.

"What is true going straight? The best match is, of course, between a handsome scholar and a beautiful woman. Such a good thing occurs quite infrequently and is indeed rare. But once two such persons are fortunate enough to meet, it is love at first sight, with the man wiling to take the woman, and the woman willing to give herself. With them, it is like the mating of moths that cling together until they die. This is true going straight.

"So what is false going straight? A patron may fall in love with a girl but she does not love him. She has no real wish to marry him but uses the word "marriage" to titillate his passions and have him splurge his money on her. Should a deal be concluded, however, she is likely to seek excuses to go back on it. There are also some single-minded fellows who insist on marrying the girl, even though he knows full well that she has no liking for him. He pays the madam of the house a big sum of money to overcome the girl's objections. She marries him reluctantly, and then purposely flouts the rules of the household in all possible ways, everything from creating scenes and throwing tantrums to openly carrying on with other men. This she does until the family can no longer countenance her, and in a year or even a few months time they drive her out of the house and she goes back to prostitution. Going straight, is in her case, a means to make money, and is false.

"What is bitter going straight? A patron may like a girl who dislikes him but is cowed by his power. The Mother, too, is afraid there will be trouble and agrees to the match. Thereafter, the girl has no more control over her own destiny. She marries with tears in her eyes, and entering the doors of that powerful family is like plunging into a bottomless ocean. The rules of the household are so strict she cannot lift her head. Her position is one of the half-servant and half concubine, up to the day she dies. That is bitter going straight. 

"So what is felicitous going straight? That is when a girl who is seeking someone to marry, comes across a man with a mild temper and considerable means. He also has an agreeable first wife who has no children of her own and counts on the girl to give birth to a son after marrying into the family. If the girl does produce an heir, her position will be that of a principal mother. Thus by marrying the man, she can count on a comfortable life today and a good status in future. That is felicitous going straight. 

What, then, is going straight when times are still good? When the girl is still enjoying a life of moonlight and flowers, when she is still at the height of popularity, she entrusts me with finding a satisfactory husband, having made up her mind to turn her life about before she falls out of favor. This is going straight when times are still good.

"What is going straight in desperation? That is when the girl has no desire to marry but is compelled to do so because of some lawsuit, or because she is suffering abuse at the hands of rich and powerful clients, or because she owes so much money she will never be able to discharge her debts. So she swallows her pride and marries whoever will take her, simply to find refuge and obtain some peace.

"What i is final going straight? That is when the girl who is approaching middle age but is still going strong, meets an honest patron with whom she shares much in common. Both unfurl their sails, and they spend the rest of their years together. That is called final going straight.

"What on the other hand is unfulfilled going straight? It happens when both the man and the girl apparently desire each other with a fiery passion and she goes to live with him. But their loves turn out to be merely a passing fancy, devoid of permanent objectives, and friction arises. Or it may be that the man's parents will not countenance her, or his wife is consumed by jealousy. At any rate, after a number of set-tos, the family sends the girl back to the brothel and demands a refund of the price paid for her. Or, the family may fall on bad times and can no longer provide for her. Unable to bear poverty, she goes back to her old ways, and like a third class whore, resorts to soliciting patrons at restaurants and tea houses. That is called unfulfilled going straight."

Miss lovely asked, "I wish to go straight properly, so how should I do that?"

THE PEARL CONCUBINE : ZHEN FEI

Guang Xu

LA TIMES ON GOLDEN CANARIES OF CHINA - MISTRESSHOOD IS BACK IN BOOMTIME

"Concubines were status symbols in imperial China. After the Communists took power, they sought to root out such bourgeois evils, even as Chairman Mao Tse-tung reportedly kept a harem of peasant women into his old age.

Now, mistresses have become a must-have for party officials, bureaucrats and businessmen.

"We are in a commodity economy," says retired Shanghai University sociologist Liu Dalin.

"Work, technology, love, beauty, power -- it's all tradable."

"So-called concubine villages -- places where lotharios keep "second wives" in comfort and seclusion -- are now spread across the nation, in booming cities such as Dongguan, Chengdu and Shanghai...." Don Lee, LA TIMES

Read the full article now!

JANUARY 2011 : MISTRESSES OF THE MONTH : THE CHINESE CONCUBINES & MISTRESSES

This month we are looking at a category of mistressing that has taken place in another country and culture, China. The term concubine, is most commonly used.

Fiction and Non-Fiction about "Oriental" Mistresses is read here in the Western world as if these women were and are "other," as if their lives and the way they lived (and live) has nothing to do with ours. Historically Chinese men had many wives as well, and Judaic-Christianity was not the dominating religious factor while Confucius held sway. So came a social system that kept people in check based on where their social positions and the responsibilities that came with it. By today's Western standards Chinese women were some of the most dominated and repressed women ever, women of little value. Now China's one child policy has created a situation in which many men may never marry or father. Some Chinese men are sending to Korea for wives!

Yet, what we have in common with these Chinese mistresses, is what we have in common with all women (and it could be said all people who are not in power), the need to survive and society's dictates which make it difficult at times and sometimes impossible without relationships that involve sex, legal or not, acceptable to the majority or not.

Because Mistressing was not as underground or in the closet there and then in China than it is here and now, wives came to understand the role of mistresses in their lives. For some having a husband who had other wives and/or mistresses was a welcome feature of their married life, for others a misery.

One of the features of multiple wife and/or mistress lifestyle is that with so many women, it is a rare man who can provide for all sexually. Multiple wives in some cultures have reported that they were less "bothered" for sex by their mutual husband, and they had more freedom, independence, and child-care helpers, than women married to one man.

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