LOVE IS BLINDNESS : JACK WHITE

INTO THE WILD - CHRIS MCCANDLESS's MAGIC BUS REMOVED

NEW YORK TIMES : INTO THE WILD MAGIC BUS REMOVED 

Chris McCandless, who became famous as a result of a book and then film called INTO THE WILD, died in the bus that he had found as a shelter when he ventured into the Alaska Wilderness. His sister wrote a book about the abuse in their family.  His father had two families and some people felt that in his adventures to find his place in the world the situation had influenced him to break ties and flee. I'm sorry I missed it when it was new news, but a year ago the bus was removed because it had become a pilgrimage site for hikers who followed his story and some of them died or were injured as a result of their own trek into the wild.

I featured this story in the July 2015 edition of Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot. 

You can find these post in my ARCHIVE!

DATE RULES FOR DETECTING THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS A CHEATER?! WHAT A LOT OF NONSENSE!

Hello My Readers!

I saw an article in Daily Mail UK's Online version in which one of their experts - a woman - gave some of the worst advice I've heard about how to "detect" a cheater.  She thought people who were trying to hide their phones at dinner tables were suspects and that if a person looks around a room while with you, there's a problem.  Her ideas were so much nonsense. So I'm going to tell what I think.

The expectations this person had for first and early dating were actually EXPECTATIONS for a committed relationship and even then I don't think she's reasonable. Maybe if it's love at first sight or a whirlwind romance, a person might feel they're in seriously - but almost no one has such expectations when they are DATING.

If a person is not in committed relationship which has been discussed and agreed upon by both, THEY CAN DATE ALL THEY WANT. They are not "cheating" on anyone. That's that. 

Some people also have agreements with their partners about what is or is not cheating. 

Why is it called cheating?  Because it is assumed that our partner deserves to get everything they want and need from one person - you - and visa versa.  

Now, HAVING A CELL PHONE AT A RESTAURANT OR PRIVATE DINNER on a table is common but RUDE. You're not hiding the phone by keeping it in your pocket or bag and off the table. You're trying to be focused on your dinner, your guest. 

Your phone is your private business. I actually think you should not be looking at someone else's phone any more than you would search through their medicine cabinet at a party or go into their private papers while house sitting. I think everyone needs and deserves some privacy, even when they are MARRIED.

Being jealous and grabbing someone else's phone to see who they just talked to or what numbers they have in their phone?  RUDE. RUDE. RUDE.  (You might even drive them to cheat!)

And if you're on date with someone and they seem to be paying more attention to those who are walking by instead of you, maybe they're looking for the waiter.  If they are cruising, it may be a bad habit, and nothing more. It's possible they're not so into you but that still does not mean they are a cheater when committed. There are a lot of people cruising to see who is beautiful or handsome or exciting.  

I had a platonic friend, a male, who did this when he and I were out. But in truth he was actually stuck in looking and not having relationships at all. 

So, if you have not discussed being in some form of committed relationship, realize that at some point you need to discuss being committed mutually and openly and agree or not. You need to express your expectations for faithfulness - or not. For those of you who are sleeping around thinking that it's going to lead to true love, maybe it will or won't. Don't assume you are in a committed relationship just because you're having sex and until it's agreed upon that you are exclusive with each other, NO ONE IS CHEATING.

So tuck away your phone as a way of showing respect for your dinner partner and if you have a habit of watching who is coming through the door, try a seat facing the other way.  

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SISTER WIVES REALITY SHOW UPDATE

 June 2021  Missy here!

The original video from my April 2014 post about the reality TV series and displays of jealousy went poof. I took down the post, hoping for a replacement. There are so many! The reality TV show was considered to be a shocker when it came out in 2010. Various decisions have been made - to stay or go - since it aired. An April 2021 show was supposed to be the end of the series, in its15th season. SISTER WIVES was the special topic here at Mistress Manifesto in 2014 and you can summon up those posts in the archives!

I posted about a form of polyamory that is unusual because of the great number of women who are openly man sharing within a form of commitment, not in ancient China or present day Africa, but here in the United States where serial monogamy is probably the most common way of approaching relationships. 

Today the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints goes against polygamy though it was very much part of the foundation of their church, which was referred to as Mormonism.

However Fundamentalists with a huge number of wives, usually the first one being the only one legally married to the man, and a huge number of children, exist in Utah and some other enclaves where it seems there is lots of tolerance except when it turns out some of the wives were well under age. Sister wives have often had polygamy in their heritage. Their mom, for instance, might have also been a sister wife. These women are at ease with having many half siblings and their children having many half siblings as well. They are cooperative with sharing work, child-care, and often have to seek outside employment to help finance the set up.  To me the intention is to bring as many children (souls) into this earthly world. Some women who enter into this lifestyle even say they choose to be a second wife or a third or a fifth, sensing what is different about that from being a first wife.

A reality TV show that went for 15 seasons of changes, each person has their fans.  This article from The Sun does a good job of explaining who is who and what's happened.

SUN - SISTER WIVES CAST

i.e. Meri, the first wife, who has one child with Cody Brown, was married to him from 1990-2014 when they divorced so he could marry Robyn....

With Janelle  he has six children and two grand-children.

With Christine he has six children.

With Robyn he has two children plus three from a previous marriage that he adopted..

All of these relationships are out in the open.

CLEO DE MERODE DANCING GAVOTTE in 1900

Gavotte (1900) La Société Phono-Cinéma-Théâtre  posted by Films of the Year

CLEO OBJECTS TO THE COURTESAN LABEL, SUES, and WINS AGAINST FEMINIST AUTHOR SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR

Simone De Beauvoir, a feminist writer who became famous for a book called "The Second Sex," published in 1949 which is now considered a classic and revolutionary, called Cleo de Merode a Courtesan. A Mistress. A hetaeri. In The Second Sex the author examines how women have been treated throughout history. She got in trouble when she wrote that about Cleo was a courtesan. The old dancer, then about seventy-five, sued. By 1952 she had won and the defamation was removed from future printings.. 

Having had the admiration of many men, what would the beautiful ex dancer admit to? If not the King, then who? Was she rewriting her own history, saving face, or forgetting?

Like other women we've covered here at this blog, Cleo wrote and published a memoir. Hers, entitled "Le Ballet de Ma Vis" (In English, "The Dance of My Life,") came out in 1955. In it she admitted to having been involved with only two men in her life! Perhaps the woman, raised Catholic by her Baroness mother, was saying a lot to admit to two.  Born illegitimate, she never married or had children.

The list of artists, sculptors, and photographers she posed for is long. It's not likely they used a body double.  She no doubt wished to engage men's imaginations.  She was seen nude, but perhaps it could be said artistically nude rather than pornography nude.

She wrote that for a decade, until he died in 1904, she'd been engaged with a French aristocrat. Then, she said she'd been the companion of a Spanish Diplomat from 1906-1919.

I do wonder if the woman actually went from 1919 to 1966 without ever another boyfriend. It seems anything us possible but it's my opinion she chose to admit to two long term relationships. In other words two men she thought worth writing about.

Cleo had enough money to the beach town on the southwestern coast of France called Biarritz which had once been a cool place for nobles to vacation. She lived to be 91 years old and as they years past became unknown.

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All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

SURVEY SUGGEST POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS ARE GAINING POPULARITY

DAILY MAIL ONE IN TEN PEOPLE HAVE BEEN IN POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP = MORE WANT TO BE 

EXCERPT:  About 10 percent o Americans have been in a polyamories relationship, a new study suggests. 

Researchers at Chapman University and the University of Indiana Bloomington surveyed adults about polyamory, which is when partners agree to have more than one partner at a time.

Unlike an open relationship, or swinging, polyamorist relationships are also emotional relationships with others, not just based on sex.

FOLIES BERGERE CLEO DE MERODE

GARVAL on CLEO DE MERODE - THE SOCIETY AND CULTURE IN WHICH SHE CAME UP

19th CENTURY ART WORLD : GARVAL'S ON DE MERODE 

From an article called Cleo de Merode's which is excellent and gives us much information about society and culture in Paris, France, at the time when Cleo de Merode was coming up as a dancer and woman.

EXCERPT:  During this period young dancers or petites danseuses loomed especially large in the collective imagination.  The most coveted of all were the so called rats, the 12-16year old girls in the Paris Opera corps de ballet, an institution that, according to Lenard R Berlanstein, had a long standing reputation as a "national harem."  Likewise, Willy's 1904 book on danseuses still characterized the Paris Opera as "a sanctuary for Venus's progeny, a libertine haven," subject of "a thousand salacious anecdotes. a thousand scandalous rumors.  In this temple o licentiousness, the young girls of the corps de ballet were the not-quite vestal virgins, and the Foyer de la Danse, or dancer's lounge, the inner sanctum.  Her only the wealthiest, most powerful en could enter, mingle with the dancers, and pursue those they fancied - as in the 1901 Steinlen illustration from L'Assiette au beurre - practices that amounted to a kind of "state- sponsored prostitution."

Go the article to see postcards of Cleo De Merode and more fascinating information including poetry that had been written about her as a beauty..

CLEO DE MERODE by GIOVANNI BOLDINI 1901

 

CLEO DE MERODE TRIES TO TAKE NEW YORK BUT FAILS

Cleo de Merode arrived in New York City in 1896 at the height of her fame in Europe where the Germans and Austrians loved her as much as the French and the first locally taken photos of her appeared in September of that year in the New York Journal.

She had hopes of attaining even greater fame and fortune but she failed. My notion is that perhaps during this era when so many were leaving Europe to immigrate to America and leave behind allegiance to Kings the supposed consort of a King seemed to be just too Old School, from the Europe they left behind. 

According to Michael D.Garval, the author other book on Cleo that was a primary reference for this month's posts, there's the possibility that Americans were merely curious about what Paris thought of as beautiful when they went to see her. They might also have been disappointed in her skills at dance. In New York she presented herself as the star of a ballet called Phryne on Broadway.  Perhaps they were expecting "a spectacle of sexuality" and got classical dance instead and felt disappointed.

Cleo danced at the 1900 World's Fair in Paris when she was twenty-five. (Colorized videos are being posted this month thanks to YouTube contributors.) Watching them it seems to me her presentations were graceful and modest rather than exotic. Was it that her modest performances didn't live up to her racy or sensationalized reputation? Cleo would end her dancing career around the age of thirty-nine, having begun at seven. It was a long run and is still typical of dancers who are often suffering from injuries and arthritis by forty.

Her apparent failure in New York City didn't stop the dancer from continuing on in her tour of America.  She appeared in Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, Boston, and smaller cities in the Midwest.

But then, what did she do until she died at ninety-one?

Had she made a fortune to sustain her? Or had she been given gifts enough to sell? 

Perhaps we will never know the details but the world would hear of Cleo De Merode again long after she had been a star.

C 2021 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

My notes from the book on Cleo by Michael D. Garval included

CLEO DE MERODE DANCES AT THE 1900 PARIS WORLD EXPO

Javanese traditional dance performed at the 1900 Paris World Expo. HD & colorized with Deoldify AI  (I just love seeing old photos and films re-colorized!)  Posted b History In Color.

CLEO AND THE KING: WAS SHE OR WASN'T SHE ?

In the first post this month, I mentioned that the celebrity story of the Belle Epoch dancer Cleopatra "Cleo" de Merode, who modeled for artists and photographers and became known internationally, had much to do with postcards that were mailed around the world. She also gained publicity because she was supposed to be a favored Mistress of King Leopold II of Belgium. 

This was the Belle Epoch in Paris, a time that might have been the best ever for the Courtesans, the woman who had their pick of rich men who gave them money, jewels, and gifts, if not in exchange for sex then in a relationship that most often included it. Ballet dancers were assumed to have patrons from a young age and to be sexual, graduating into Courtesans. Many a poor girl found this was a way to survive, though she might never marry. Some Courtesans started as singers or dancers. Some as prostitutes. It was a way of life that was tolerated, if not accepted, in Paris; some Courtesans became famous for their men. 

Perhaps it was a bit difficult to know who was what.

Cleo's lifestyle lead to her reputation. She danced not just the more respected ballet but also at the Folies Bergere, considered to be the risque forte of the dancer.

Courtesans were seen out and about around town with men, showing off the riches they had gained by dress and ornamentation. They were not hidden away.  In this way both partners were showing off.

In 1896 Cleo was performing at The Opera Ballet as part of the perfomanace of Aida, and the King watched from his private box. He asked to meet her and she went to meet him and didn't come back quickly for the second act to begin. Of course the audience noticed that a half hour had lapsed before she returned to the stage.

Whatever did or didn't happen in that interlude - perhaps nothing more than a star-struck man having a conversation - that the two of them made appearances around town openly together gave the tantalizing rumors some extra flavor.

According to author Michael Garval, I note a century before Brangelina, there was Cleopold or Merodopold. In those days, I note before a person was a brand or could acquire money from allowing their images or name on products, Cleo de Merode's name was put on underwear, cigars, dolls, and other items.*

According to encyclopedia.com,

though both denied any improper relationship, their relationship lasted a decade and it was supposed that they'd had sex in his private Opera box upon first meeting. 

The couple were lampooned in cartoons in which the King was portrayed as horny but also unfairly cheap and cold to his wife, daughters, and sister, because instead he bought jewels for Cleo.

According to Betty Klein, in her 1966 book "The Mistresses: Domestic Scandals of Nineteenth Century Monarchs," that Cleo was Leopold's Mistress was understood in Brussels. As well, the relationship was also acknowledged in other Royal Courts - in England, Russia, and Denmark. Though the King would've been 71 after a decade with Cleo, it was said he moved on to other extramarital relationships.

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*Michael D. Garval, in his book, "Cleo de Merode and the Rise of Modern Celebrity Culture," page 94. I'll be posting some strong direct quotes from this book later in the month.

THEATRE ROYAL DE L'ALCAZAR DANSERA (CLEO)

CLEOPATRA DIANE DE MERODE and KING LEOPOLD II OF BELGIUM : THE FIRST CELEBRITY - CALLED A COURTESAN SHE DEFENDED HERSELF AND WON

CLEO DE MERODE

Image from Wikimedia

Because she was so photographed and so many copies were made, there exists a great number of images.

CLEOPATRA DIANE DE MERODE

1877 - 1966

Daughter of Viennese Baroness, Vincentia Maria Cacilla Catharina de Merode

Long before American artist Andy Warhol predicted that in the future everyone would be famous for fifteen minutes, Cleopatra Diane De Merode, known as Cleo, became the first world famous celebrity, the first celebrated woman, whose international fame lasted years. Though word of mouth and mentions in newspapers and small presses included the beautiful woman who started ballet lessons at seven and performing in The Opera Ballet in Paris at eight in the corps de ballet, it was photos of her as an adult and printed on postcards that circulated the world and promoted this Parisian dancer and actress during the Belle Epic. Rather than cut and paste into e-mails, her image was snail mailed around the world. One of those images was of her taking a show bath rather than a good scrub. I think of present day exotic dancer and stripper Dita Von Teese, now famous for her on stage baths. According to the 1896 Parisian Illustrated Review volume 1, page 65, the most photographed woman in Paris was described as "having eyes of velvet, dazzling teeth, a fine figure, and a languishing grace." It was the year she met King Leopold II of Belgium who was at the theatre watching her performance and asked to meet her. She was a half hour late in getting back onto stage and that half hour may have lead to rumors that were never true.

According to author Michael D. Garval, in his book, "Cleo de Merode and the Rise of Modern Celebrity Culture," a primary reference for this month's posts, Merode was at a "pivotal moment in the history of fame and visual culture" and she "heralded modern celebrity icons."

Garval also gives an accounting of reviews of the dancers of what was risky burlesque as the century turned, which as is traditional, included humor and silly jokes, flirting, flouting, and taking most of it off. 

While Cleo was not a stripper or exotic dancer as we think of them today, she eventually showed much of her body, but there was one part she never ever showed. Her ears! Apparently, she thought they were ugly. Ear fetishizers speculated and hoped she would eventually show them but she kept them tucked under her neatly organized extremely thick hair in a style called the bandeaux.

The question is, how did Cleo, who was a trained ballet dancer though not a star, but known for her beauty, keep her celebrity going?

By 1902 she was at the height of her celebrity and considered to be the most beautiful woman alive, a fashion icon, a trendsetter /influencer. She had been modeling for statues, paintings and posters, depicted as nude or clothed. She was sought as a model by the best. She was photographed for her personal publicity - her career. She appeared on the backs of playing cards. 

She was an inspiration to other women. As we learned when we explored the reality of a ballet dancer's life in Paris, it was expected that dancers were Courtesans or at least had patrons for the girls bloomed into puberty while living in poverty.

But was she a Courtesan? That's something she denied.

Was King Leopold II of Belgium her protector or just one of many who could look but not touch? Their liaison was enough for both of them to be portrayed in the "Foyer de la Danse" at the Opera. It was a private club where rich men could mingle with the dancers, a place where ballet dancers could meet patrons or be plucked out of the chorus to be Kept. 

Reports were also that she had spurned marriage proposals.  Was she picky or all tied up with the King? 

Whatever their relationship was, it made them both more famous.  Yet, some thought her reputation suffered for it because his reputation was so bad! Whatever did or didn't happen between her and the King, it hurt her career. After all, who was good enough for a King? And who was good enough for her? There was about forty years difference between them. Implied is that the 61ish old King could still - well, you know!  He of course, did have deep pockets, but did he actually Keep her, or was he just her most adoring fan?

I wonder what role class had in Cleo's life because she was not born common. However, Cleo was the illegitimate daughter of a Baroness of Venice,  raised Catholic, and well, everyone understood there could be no marriage because the King was married, but you love who you love.

Of a mixed European heritage, she was popular in Germany and Austria and toured.

Eventually Cleo would try to conquer America, and appear in New York City. 

In her later years she would deny she was ever a Courtesan, sue to reclaim her reputation and win against a feminist author who became famous for her theory too.

The never married and childless dancer, who continued to perform until about the age of thirty-nine, (some say fifty) continued to teach dance even in her eighties and lived to a very old age. I'll be posting more on this Belle Epoch beauty this month.

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All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

Research for this months posts include the above mentioned book, encyclopedias such as encyclopedia.com and general reading. To read about other Courtesans, ballet dancers, dancers who were mistresses, or the Belle Epoch, search through this blog using the archives.  You might be interested in Isadora Duncan, for instance. Click on the tag such as ballet and bring up other Mistresses or Courtesans covered here. CELESTINE EMAROT, MISTRESS OF BARON CHARLES de CHASSIRON and FERDINAND De MONTGUYON and BALLARINA COURTESANS runs in September 2016.