Mistress Manifesto

What's the difference between having a Sugar Daddy or Momma and being a Mistress or a Mantress? My friend Virginia is a Sugar Mommy. She has "helped" several much younger men this year. No, she's not rich, just peaking in her career. She is sexy. And she finds men her own age disappointing. Virginia has fallen in love with more than one younger man who went and married someone who was "age appropriate."

Because she has such a big heart, I feel for her, and yet, to be fair I must reverse the situation. It's not wrong for a young man to be honest with himself and realize that he wants marriage and with an age appropriate lady who can give him children.
So perhaps it's just what shade of purple you're talking.

Being a mistress does NOT require adultery!

But often it does.

Here is what I want to know. Do YOU have a PLATONIC friendship with someone that has been going on for years, while you go through -whatever - a series of relationships - marriage - long term celibacy? What are the main characteristics of your platonic friendship that keep it going?

We error on the side of being very fashionable...

Getting ready for happy holidays here, but I couldn't resist linking to an article in which Jessica Burciaga says that she is not Kobe Bryant's mistress, and so not the cause of his divorce after 10 years of marriage.

So many women this past year have been confessing, posing, claiming to be mistresses, it's refreshing that Jessica decided to say "It's not me." Like other sports figures Kobe has access to women who are willing to get involved for an hour, a night, a day, a month, a year... I consider these women to be groupies, and groupies sometimes become mistresses. We'll keep watching this story!

The Book of Courtesans
A Catalogue of Their Virtues
C 2001 Susan Griffin
Broadway Books new York

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A "MISTRESS" and A "COURTESAN?" Susan Griffin is a wonderful author, her language lyrical, as she displays for us the VIRTUES.

Page 4

"And unlike the mistress of a married man, who is often kept hidden, just as the courtesan was proud of her jewelry, she too was proudly displayed. She was expected to accompany her various lovers to public places and events, cafes, restaurants, balls, parties, the theatre, the opera, even hosting gathering of her lover's friends at her home..... During the Belle Epoque in Paris, among the wealthy playboys, aristocrats, and businessmen who belonged to the exclusive Jockey Club, it was considered de rigueur to keep a courtesan - so much so that even homosexual men felt they had to do it for show.

"I take inspiration from those mistresses who have come before me and lived well. Their lives were unconventional - and so is mine!"

These women (and sometimes men) lived in different times and circumstances, some more accepting of mistresses and some less accepting. We know about most of them because they were exceptional. Certainly not all mistresses were or are exceptional. These mistresses can also be seen as the very few who are known.

It's the holidays, and that usually means presents. I bet you know what a mistress wants for her present! I bet you're thinking fur (or a quality fake fur) coat, perfume, flowers, jewelry... Then again, those are good presents for a birthday, or for Valentines, or any day at all.

Here are some things that a mistress can also appreciate:
Gift Certificates for Massages, Hair Cuts, Facials, and Mani-Pedicures.
Laptop computers / upgrades.
Cell Phone / upgrade.
Gym Membership/ dues.
Tickets for two so she can take a friend for movies, plays, concerts.
Photographs by studio photographers.

If she collects - stamps - coins - whatever - something for her collection.

Gifts that are NOT good for a Mistress include gift baskets (cheeses, soaps,etc.), boxes of chocolate, pens, hams - anything corporate and impersonal that he or she would receive from customers or from a boss or that will put extra pounds on and must be resisted. Anything one size fits all which is what you wear when you're gaining weight very quickly!

You get the idea...

The Book of Courtesans
A Catalogue of Their Virtues
C 2001 Susan Griffin
Broadway Books New York

Missy here: Author SUSAN GRIFFIN situates her Courtesans in their time and place - the past - and teaches us that the difference between a Courtesan and a Kept Woman (or Mistress) was that a Courtesan was not hidden.

She says that Courtesans and artists shared a world... a risque naughty world... The Courtesan was surrounded by scintillating activity...

GriffIn says that the tradition of having a Courtesan (even if you were a gay male) has disappeared but...

on page 11 we read : "Technically speaking, many women today do what courtesans did; it is quite common still for a married man to support his mistress, and a whole population of highly cultivated and elegant women serve today as escorts, call girls, and modern hetaerae. But just as surely as the role of the courtesan was created by historical conditions, she was also inextricably linked to a historical mood that had come to an end by the third decade of the last century...

Linking above to a great book review and more information (get yourself a copy of this book!) from GOODREADS online.

This month's honorary mistress is book author SUSAN GRIFFIN who so eloquently examines the lives of mistresses in her BOOK OF COURTESANS which is a must read for mistresses, kept women, anyone who is curious about this lifestyle! She's a very MISTRESS FRIENDLY PERSON, if I'm reading her right. And so, rather than have a Mistress of the Month for December 2011, I'm electing Susan as someone we all want to know more about. And I'm linking to her site - so very many interesting books she's written! The review of the book on this site is a piece of beautiful writing in itself.

"A mistress should be like a little country retreat near the town, not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away." William Wycherley

rather than focus on what we have not!
Not to be "in denial" but most of us, in the English-speaking countries anyway, have tremendous advantages that most of the world does not.

We have more CHOICE over all and that is a privilege in itself !

But if, my dear, you find yourself alone enough to be lonely this holiday, it is essential that you make a list of all you've got. I trust you know also, how to keep yourself occupied with your avocations!

Missy

"I will seek to make new friends throughout my life!"

Our friends do not always make it through the years with us. Some pass into the next life, and the changes we go through in life can be a challenge to friendships. So, always seek to make a new friend or two.

Recently I was listening to talk radio, all the shows discussing the past sexual harrassment by a current presidential candidate which may very well end his campaign. (Please don't think that mistresses are not keenly aware of the difference between wanted and unwanted sexual attention!) and while I was listening, I started thinking about POLITICAL MISTRESSES.

Is it really possible to find a Presidential candidate who has not had a mistress?

I will tell you that I think it is possible, if that Presidential candidate is a woman, and then, not because women never keep men, but because it is far less common and because women are aware that they are held to higher standards than men are when it comes to morality. A woman who runs for office already knows that her personal, private life will be exhibited to the world and she can't have any sexual secrets come out, because she will be judged by those secrets even when what she has experienced is common among women : molestation, rape, abortions, divorce(s) or living in sin. Certainly having been a kept woman would go against her.

Men think they can get away with more than women can for one good reason! THEY USUALLY DO!

What do you think?

Missy

C 2011 Mistress Manifesto/Missy Rapport All Rights Reserved

President Lyndon B. Johnson wasn't the charismatic character that John F. Kennedy was, but let's say this. All the "mistresses" that John F. Kennedy had were not mistresses, but affairs. MADELEINE DUNCAN BROWN

was a mistress and it wasn't until years later that she revealed some truths that were, if not outrageous, than difficult to take!

She was in Johnson's life for 21 years and had a son by him that he supported financially. Yes, she wrote a book about it. It's called "Texas In The Morning : THE LOVE STORY OF MADELEINE BROWN AND PRESIDENT LYNDON BAINES JOHNSON" which came out in 1997. In the book she claimed that Johnson was involved in the assassination of JFK. She told her truth before she died in 2002.

STEPHANIA SOLOMONE decided to start a web site to give support. She's in contact with about 50 or more women who are involved emotionally and/or sexually with priests.

“This is something that happens quite often,” said Stefania Salomone, a 42-year-old office manager from Rome. “Most of them are not ready to give up their life as priests for a woman. They want to have it both ways.”

"Some of the relationships are not even sexual ones. Salomone's priest never went beyond hugging her, she said, and when he finally admitted that there was something “real” between the two of them, he said it was over.

After this and another similar experience, she started a website (link above!) for women who are in relationships with priests and is now in contact with about 50 other women.

“There is never a happy ending,” she said. Priests cannot stand to give up being “sacred ministers,” “God's intermediaries,” for the sake of the daily routine of married life."

Source of this quotation is : http://rentapriest.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-father-my-lover-priests-struggle.html a blog in English.

These days someone who is not gay themselves sometimes identifies themselves as "GAY FRIENDLY."

Are you Mistress Friendly?

This link has the actual letter (In Italian) that was written to Pope Benedict singed by Antonella Carisio, Maria Grazia Filippucci, and Stefania Salomone.

The author of the article at this site, Jimmy Akin, is a convert to Catholicism, andhas a lot to say about the subject.

An excerpt:

"My heart also goes out to the mistresses, because they have a human desire to marry those to whom they are romantically attached and are genuinely pained at the situation in which they find themselves.

That’s the position in which mistresses commonly find themselves.

But the thing is . . . they’re mistresses.

They are living a life that is objectively sinful.

They are violating very basic and well-known elements of Christian morality. It’s hard to claim innocent ignorance in this case.

The same thing goes—even more so—for the priests with whom they are involved."

"Why are Italians at this day generally so good poets and painters? Because every man of any fashion among them hath his mistress." - Robert Burton

Been listening to bits and pieces about the trial in which the music star Michael Jackson's death is being pinned on his personal doctor ( $150,000 a month) Dr. Conrad Murray. Murray was on the phone to his various girlfriends including Nicole Alvarez, while Micheal was dying or dead. This is important because the court is trying to determine a time line for his death.

Nicole Alvarez is his "baby's mama." They met in Vegas a few years back. He keeps her in a Santa Monica apartment where she pursues her acting career. It is this address he had all those drugs delivered to... Nicole and the other girlfriends seem to know about each other. It is only she who we might consider to be his mistress...

Your opinion is?...

Missy

Should Catholic priests be allowed to marry? And is it time for the Pope to allow this because at least 40 mistresses of priests in Italy wrote to the Pope last spring telling him so?

I learned about one of the 40 who allowed herself to be photographed, named Stephania Solomone. Although I think this group of mistresses are the type who want to be married, and many mistresses do not want to be, what I see is that these women have managed, also like many mistresses, to find themselves men who are absolutely unavailable for marriage because of the vow they took when they became priests! These frustrated women are not taking on a wife but an entire Church that has endured for hundreds of years.

By my way of thinking, the priests who have mistresses should be relieved of their vows and their priesthood (but not their Catholicism), and go ahead and marry these women. These men knew what the terms and conditions of priesthood would be and now they cannot, if actions speak louder than words, keep to those vows. So they can make another vow - to be married - and never divorce.

I know this subject of priests being able to marry, seems to be all about celibacy or self restraint - about sex - but sex is only part of the story. Love for someone that becomes carnal is another. Many mistresses do not have sex or no longer have sex. And if it becomes so that priests may marry, why would we think that they will wait until marriage to marry or not have many affairs themselves?

C Mistress Manifesto blog /Missy Rapport 2011 All Rights Reserved including International and Internet rights

I wrote about Jerry Hall and nominated her Mistress of the Month a while back. Jerry wrote a book years ago called "Tall Tales." This one looks to be good; another one for my bookshelf!

Missy

(Use the Google Search feature embedded
in the side bar of this blog to pull up posts on Jerry Hall.)

"Being a mistress does not require me to hide my talents and abilities."

Many mistresses find that the man who keeps a woman (even just a little) is actually a fine patron or mentor, helping us in practical ways to learn and grow.

This month, I celebrate the ancient HETAIRA - COURTESANS or MISTRESSES - of Ancient Greece, a male dominated society in which marriage was rarely for love. Extensive information with lots of references at this link to the University of Chicago.

"In classical literature, there are witty hetairai and ones of divine beauty, those who are generous with their wealth and others with hearts of gold. But, for all these portrayals, it must be remembered that virtually none were citizens of Athens; many were slaves who had been purchased and trained from childhood in such a life. Whatever power they had came from their ability to be recognized by the powerful men with whom they consorted, who would love them and made them their mistresses or concubines."

"Penelope Orth, in her book published in the early 1970s about contemporary American mistresses, draws up the following definition: "A mistress is a single woman, divorced, widowed, or never married, who is having an enduring affair with a married man who may support her but who today more frequently subsidises her or merely improves her standard of living. The three essential ingredients of a lover-mistress relationship are that it lasts, that marriage is not realistically expected, and that the man assumes some financial responsibility."

...usually strong in the courtesan aspect of her personality!
-Dr. Toni Grant, from her successful book "On Being A Woman."

"A female tiger has killed her mate at a West Texas zoo, authorities said on Friday, in a rare attack that came after months of simmering jealousy in a feline love triangle." ..."The male tiger Wzui likes both females, but the two females don't like each other," the zoo said in a press release dated June 14. "The girls are jealous of each other," collections Supervisor Griselda Martinez said.

(Maybe it's not such a compliment to be called a "Tiger?")

Linking to the Yahoo article!

"The best mistresses are the ones we know nothing about." Victoria Griffin

VICTORIA GRIFFIN, a self confessed mistress, wrote this book, and it's a fascinating read, that I highly recommend. She goes into the mistress archetype and ancient Greece and profiles women she feels fit the "mistress type."

I'm linking to a good article in Heloise, United Kingdom, about Victoria in which she speaks about her own experience as a mistress. She seems to truly enjoy the mistress lifestyle and she has made sense of herself and her world.

One of many amazing sensual paintings based on flowers that Georgia O'Keeffe painted.

This image is from Google Images

The only museum in the world dedicated to an internationally known American woman artist, the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum, in Santa Fe, New Mexico, opened to the public in July 1997, eleven years after her death.

"One of the most significant artists of the 20th century, Georgia O’Keeffe (1887-1986) was devoted to creating imagery that expressed what she called “the wideness and wonder of the world as I live in it.” She was a leading member of the Stieglitz Circle artists, headed by Alfred Stieglitz, America’s first advocate of modern art in America...

The Museum’s collection of over 3,000 works comprises 1,149 O’Keeffe paintings, drawings, and sculptures that date from 1901 to 1984, the year failing eyesight forced O’Keeffe into retirement."

(Click on the title!)

MORE THAN 40 COLORFIUL: CREATIVE LOOKS FOR WOMEN 40 and OVER
by makeup artist Linda Mason MAKEUP FOR AGELESS BEAUTY published by Watson-Guptill in New York.

Wonder what your favorite Supermodels such as Carol Alt, Paulina Porizkova, or Kim Alexis look like now? How about rocker Joan Jett? This book is wonderful! It's easy to follow and you will get it. As we get older enhancing our looks is desirable and sometimes we can be very creative, but within reason. Overly made up looks age us so what we want is makeup that shows our understanding of our looks and our sophistication.

In the mood for some new makeup, it's time to reassess and understand the art of application!

Missy

SUGAR MAMMA?

I know a woman who cannot afford to be, but when she sees her much younger man, she blushes, her heart tries to fly out of her chest, she has a difficult time saying no. She has sometimes suffered because she gave to much and he took. No, they were not having sex. Their relationship seemed to be the world's oldest crush.

Is the SUGAR MAMMA a manifestation of feminism? Is it simply role reversal?

Or have women who had a little more always been willing to give to another, with love?

Georgia O'Keeffe is an interesting Mistress because, like CoCo Chanel, it seems that when she became a widow and made her fortune, she may have become the one who kept a man (or at least was very generous), a much much younger man, Juan Hamilton, who came to work as a handyman, and turned her onto sculpture.

But first this great American artist, became the mistress of married Alfred Stieglitz. They lived together for 6 years and then married, despite their 23 age difference. After some time, she began to live separate of him in New Mexico. Theirs was a partnership initiated and driven by the fine arts. She sketched and painted and he was a photographer.

Linking at the title above to the PBS biography of Georgia O'Keeffe which focuses on Georgia the artist.

The Image Above is from Google Images.

In all but humans, it's the male animals who have to be colorful to attract mates.

Malaysia and Ghana - two of the many countries where a mistress or a mistress curious person is checking in! Welcome to my blog. COMMENTS is turned on and is by my approval published. If you want to get in touch with me but don't want your comment published, let me know! I will respect your wishes!

Missy

page 61 CHAPTER on CONFIRMED BACHELORS

..."Frank was a confirmed bachelor and a master of seduction. He had well-rehearsed lines and knew exactly what to say and do to score sexual points. Phrases like 'You're so beautiful you should be a model' and 'I've never met a woman like you before' may be cliches, but Frank was so gorgeous and charming that most women were ready to believe his little deceits. And according to studies, Frank has plenty of company in this 'no strings, no commitment' mating strategy. They showed that deception serves an important part of men's mating strategy for short-term partners. And researchers found that three out of four men said they were willing to lie or "modify the truth" to persuade women to have sex with them. They found that the things dating men lie about are similar around the world. Men exaggerate their wealth, status, and business and social connections. Frank frequently exaggerated his income and financial prospects and rarely missed a chance at name dropping.

"Now that Nicole...heard Frank bragging about his latest conquests...she was so put off by his maneuvering that she tried to warn his newest girlfriend, Stacey. But it was no use. Stacey's brain and body had already fallen under Frank's seductive spell. What she didn't know was that each time she and Frank had sex, she was falling a little more in love - the Oxytocin released during her orgasm was binding her body and brain closer to Frank. But it was working the other way around for him. He was starting to get bored. The more Stacey tried to pin him down to future plans, the more he squirmed. he felt it was time to move on. No cage of domesticity for him...'

"To be sure, both men and women try to manipulate the mating game. But when it comes to using verbal deception, researchers have found that men are biologically more comfortable with it than women.'

MISSY says:

THE PROBLEM WITH BIOLOGY IS DESTINY BOOKS is that they make human beings, male and female, as simple as their gender. This author took no time to discuss male homosexuality and I suspect that if she were to examine that culture, even in context to biological theories or evidence, she might find many exceptions to the rule.

"I may be discreet in revealing my personal life to others, but I will always be honest with myself."

ARE YOU A MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD SLEEP AROUND WITH MANY WOMEN (or MEN) IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE SATISFACTIONS OF YOUR MISTRESS/ MANTRESS?

Spring 2010 of ALO Hayati nagazine had an article called A MAN WITH FOUR WIVES, which was told to Sam Stone by Marcus Raouf about a glamorous Kuwaiti millionaire, Majeed Abdal, who traveled the world for his London based company.

According to Raouf, described as his personal assistant who helped him deceive four women by keeping them apart, Abdal married a second woman, a Kuwaitii, because his first wife, an arranged marriage to another Kuwaitii, could not give him a son. That was in the 1990's. Since a man may marry four wives there, these two wives knew of each other and lived nearby each other. But then he married a woman in London and then a woman in Dallas, Texas, in 2002 and 2003. The Dallas woman did give him a son, and he had decided to settle with her, when he died at the age of 57, after 6 years of a grinding pace or, as the author says "grueling duplicity."

THE ARTICLE SAYS THAT IT IS OK TO MARRY FOUR WIVES so long as you CAN SUPPORT ALL OF THEM and THEY ALL KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER. PERMISSION TO DO SO FROM THE WIVES IS NOT NECESSARY.

Raouf considered it his duty to split Abdal's wealth four ways when he died.

JANUARY 2015 - Please see my archives for this edition " THE GRIMALDI CURSE AND THE MISTRESSES OF THE PRINCES OF MONICO."

*****

The Bride cried - so what? And maybe had a difficult time getting through her wedding due to rumors that Albert may have a third love child conceived during their 5 year courtship, but 88 million dollars spent on the wedding, it's difficult to believe, as the New York Post has published, that Charlene tried to run away a couple times and had her passport taken from her to make escape impossible. Heck, we we think that Charlene has to know that Albert has long slept around and that she's going to be the mother of the official heirs. Click on the title here to read the bad report.

A lot of brides cry at their own weddings, all that emotion, and becoming a Princess and First Lady of Monaco couldn't be easy, could it? Today the wedding reception in South Africa - and pictures are looking happy.

This Huffington Post article has great pictures and a more optimistic report:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/02/royal-wedding-prince-albert-charlene-wittstock_n_889217.html

UPDATE OCTOBER 2013!

My opinion these days is that Charlene is settling into her role as Princess of Monaco very well, but my guess is that she is not having any easy time getting pregnant. Our female fertility peaks in our twenties and athletic women sometimes loose the hormone balance that keeps them fertile. If it turns out she's on fertility treatments I won't be surprised. Anyway, the next in line to the throne is Princess Caroline - WHY NOT?

Another way to call him...

Some gay men seem to have learned the art of keeping a (heterosexual) wife and also a kept (homosexual) man at the same time.

I've met a few of these men in my time and they say everyone is happy with the situation. Is this because the woman has decided it's better to be married than divorced? Or because she has decided that raising their children (together) is the most important thing? Does she have lovers too? Or maybe she's keeping a man for herself?

One man I met had his wife in Los Angeles and his boyfriend in Palm Springs. Is Palm Springs one of the best places to keep or be kept?

Maybe it's easier for the wife to accept that her competition (or is he?) is not another woman. Maybe these "gay" men are actually bisexuals?

I just want to say PRACTICE SAFER SEX ! (and contraception unless you are really truly ready to bring a child into this world and provide it all that it needs and deserves for at least the next 18 years!)

Missy

C Missy Rapport / Mistress Manifesto 2011 All Rights Including Internet and International Rights

Do you really have to kiss a lot of them to find the right Frog Prince?

OK ! I think keeping multiple relationships may be more acceptable in the gay community than the strait! Statistics show that gay male couples have a very high income. It's male privilege times two. Gay men (and increasingly women straight or gay) have a high rate of owning businesses (and the heck with the discrimination against gays in the workplace.)

Gay men (am I stereotyping?) like to live well and know what living well costs. This is not to say that all gay men are all celebrity hairdressers and interior decorators (or fashion designers)!

But it's more than that...

It's that (older) men keeping (younger) men is a tradition in the gay male community.

Sometimes this is because young gay males get thrown out by their families, are on the street for a while, and prostitute, until someone keeps them. Geisha like. Sometimes the richer man (who might be the younger man) keeps the other man until he can get on his feet.

There's something very practical about it but that's not to say without love!

ARE YOU READY TO COME OUT OF THIS CLOSET?

French may just be THE (second?) language of mistresses. This is not just because of the tradition of mistresses in France but because the language of French is often thought of as the language of literature and love!

AUDREY HEPBURN, the actress who became famous for charity work before her death, starred in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" in the early 1960's. Sam Wasson's new book "FIFTH AVENUE 5 a.m." isn't just about the making of the movie - though that is certainly covered - but also the way the film had impact on notions of modern womanhood.

Was the character Holly Golightly really based on TRUMAN CAPOTE'S real mother in her search for a husband? Was Audrey Hepburn the person, in her role as Holly Golightly, who made the color BLACK as in Little Black Dress, the garment of sophistication?

Page 127 says that Centuries ago, black dye was affordable only to the very rich. Black had been the color of death and worn in mourning. A woman wearing black was trying NOT to be noticed. Then CoCo Chanel designed the little black dress as a must have for sophisticated women.

In "Breakfast at Tiffany's" the character Audrey played was a woman who has had lovers, does not regret it, and does not come to a bad end because of it. So it was the beginning of the sexual revolution when it came out.

It was the time of Helen Gurly Brown's book "Sex and The Single Girl."

RebecaRazorzx is the creator of this video, a mini documentary with a commentary about the changes due to war that allowed women in the workplace and how Chanel's clothing designs allowed women more freedom of physical movement.

posted June 2021

What does "WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE" MEAN?

It seems to be a very polite way of indicating the woman is "MATURE." (But as we know even very old people can be immature!) so please let me know what images come up in your mind when you read or hear "A Woman Of A Certain Age."

"I imposed black. It's still going strong today, for black wipes out everything else around." Co Co Chanel

Gabrielle "CoCo" Chanel, was 25 years old, born in 1883 (or so), when Etienne Balsan took her as a mistress. He was a man of wealth who bred horses. Arthur Capel was her next lover...he died in 1919 and it broke her heart. THOSE ENTWINED C's that are on of her symbols are CHANEL and CAPEL... forever!

But CoCo did NOT live a life devoid of other friendships and lovers or good times just because she was an ambitious business woman too! And she remained chic until her death!

UPDATE October 2016: This is one of my most popular posts. Now that you are here, please check out some of the other Mistresses I've included in my blog!
You can look through the archive or use the search feature in this Google Blogger to find out more about the Mistresses in my Hall of Fame Not Shame!

The idea that in youth we will meet a "good man," marry him, stay married to him, and reach an old age partnered, is a myth.

Women actually spend most of their life WITHOUT A PARTNER!

It is a dangerous myth because so most women expect nothing less and do not plan for another lifestyle that is without a MAN.

Perhaps women are essentially romantic and do not want to look at the financial basis for marriage (something quite modern - arranged or class conscious marriage has been the norm) or for mistresshood.

What is different today, though contraception is not perfect, is our options for preventing pregnancy and legal and safe abortion when we were not ready and able to afford raising a child.

CoCo Chanel, the fashion designer, is our mistress for the month of June 2011 and she's been our Mistress of the Month before. Why again? I Just finished reading a wonderful book about her called...

COCO CHANEL
The Legend and The Life
by Justine Picardie
which is published by itbooks An Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

BOOK REVIEW:

Justine Picardie has created a solid and invigorating book, packed with images, some in color - portraits, fashion, sketches, posters - which amplify the understanding of the poor born orphaned girl, who lived some unconventional years in the players palace of Royallieu, owned by Etienne Balsan, and then, through hard work and diligence, made it as a world famous fashion designer.

Did Balsan move the seamstress CoCo into his "decadent lifestyle", perhaps father a child or insist she have an abortion?

Certainly he was the person who first funded her ambitions to have a millinery shop, and then design clothes.

There were other women for him - and eventually other lovers also for her - In particular a man called Boy Chapel. Most intelligently CoCo and Etienne continued to be friends until he died in 1953. When she came to Royallieu he already had a mistress there, an actress and beauty known to be well kept by men, Emilienne d'Alecon. So perhaps the romance between them has been exaggerated.

Emilienne was 14 year older than CoCo, and perhaps if not her mentor, an example. She showed CoCo how to get along with and remain friends with ex lovers and providers. (We see this characteristic also in mistress Pamela Digby Churchill Harriman.)

Blurring the possibility that she may have given birth to a son, CoCo apparently embroidered stories and cut out truths, and perhaps this was not lying so much as self preservation and promoting a reality she could deal with. Perhaps she spoke of the conclusions she had come to in making sense of her life.

She blurred her birth date, and how old she was at various experiences in her life, taking the "I am a little girl" perspective, claiming in later years to have been 16 (innocent) rather than in her twenties, when at Royallieu. In this account she was more of an observer than a participant, and so how could she be very heartbroken?

Why is all this important? Because Chanel did much to change women's lifestyles by giving them comfortable clothing that allowed them to move freely and be free.

And while, in past bios, much has been made of how CLASS played a role in preventing an aristocrat from marrying a girl of her working poor background, reading this, I feel Chanel learned some valuable lessons and accepting her station in life, if not a wife, did the extraordinary for a woman of those times coming out of nowhere.

One wonders if perhaps, living in a nunnery- orphanage, turned Coco out to be an unconventional woman, who maybe did not want children or did not want marriage.

Certainly marriage eluded her.

But she was driven and ambitious!

This book also tells about the business deals she made and regretted, and how she fought to get back (her perfumes). She was not waiting on a man to do any of these things for her. She made others wealthier than she was. She was also generous and willing to mentor, champion, or keep, younger men and friends, while cutting some family and aiding others.

C 2011 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

"Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant." - Victor Hugo

Missy here! OK first of all there are not just 8 steps and they are not easy, however, we can all learn something from Patti Stanger here, who has had her own tough road to follow when it comes to men. (And by the way, we hear she just broke her years long relationship and also went on a diet to slim down to dating size again.)

Here is the list of things you do not want to talk about NEVER with a date
from pages 158 -168:

YOUR OWN ADVENTURES IN DATING

YOUR EX

MONEY (She says it is uncouth and to never ever ask a man for money during the pre-marriage relationship. Presents however, are generally acceptable to keep.)

HEALTH PROBLEMS

RELIGION

POLITICS

NEGATIVE SUBJECTS THAT DEPRESS YOU

YOUR CHILDREN

SEX

YOUR DIET

CELEBRITIES (She herself can't help to but...)

BUSINESS

But do talk about

SPORTS

TRAVEL

LITERATURE

CULTURE

MOVIES

NATURE

YOUR COMMUNITY

MUSIC

HUMOR

PETS

THE MEDIA

LOCAL AND NATIONAL NEWS

and especially research so you can talk about HIS FAVORITE SUBJECTS!

Page 169

"Men fall in love through their eyes and women fall in love through their ears."

BECOME YOUR OWN MATCHMAKER
8 EASY STEPS FOR ATTRACTING YOUR PERFECT MATE
Star of The Millionaire matchmaker
Patti Stanger with Lisa Johnson Mandell
Atria Books - A Division of Simon and Schuster, Inc.
C 2009

Professorial it is, but if you want to know more about Karin, here is her web site!KARIN STANFORD COM

The career couple - his and her - like Bill and Hillary Clinton (though we have yet to hear that Bill or Hillary ever kept a woman) - often accommodate affairs and mistresses. Marriages like the Clinton's are often thought to be just for mutual career advancement or politics.

Mistresses are often thought to be just part of business.
But his wife? She isn't staying in "just for business" or is she ?
What about the prestige of the couple within their community, such as at their temple or church, or his reputation in business founded on the idea that he's a strong family man?

Who is most motivated to keep a husband, a wife, or a mistress?

Over the last month DENMARK had hit this blog and that comparatively small country hit it half as much as the whole UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Are there Mistresses hiding out in Denmark? Missy

Like you I was somewhat stunned to hear that the marriage of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger is over, because it has been revealed that about 14 years ago he fathered a child with an employee who retired a few months ago after 20 years of service, billed as housekeeper and assistant and mistress, Mildred Patricia "Patty" Baena.

By this morning reports were that she seduced him or that they had unprotected sex in the house or that she did not tell him he was the father until the child was a toddler or that she had fled the four bedroom house he had bought her or that he had been very generous or that he left office, she retired on good terms, and when he told his wife (Maria) in January she immediately took their four children and fled the marriage. It is said that Patty put her husband's name on the birth certificate and filed for a separation after the birth, but didn't get around to starting divorce proceedings until 2008.

Other women are also coming forth that they had affairs with Arnold. Is it true that Maria was always hearing rumors but did not believe any of it until this? Kind of like with Tiger? Is a Vanity Fair Mistress spread next?

Once again we're challenged by the use of MISTRESS by the press to describe a woman who had an affair, and then received financial support for a child conceived in that affair, which includes a nice house to live in and raise that child.

Because famous people are involved, being discreet is also a difficulty, especially when there is great interest in how a political person in office uses their money and power.

CONTRACEPTION IS NOT PERFECT but it seems that MEN KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO TO DO THEIR PART IN NOT CONCEIVING A CHILD. AS SO WOMEN. We're not in the bed with the couple but we have to wonder if BOTH were ignorant or overly trusting.
It would be easy to link to any number of stories on the net, including pictures, which show off this "mistress" buxom body, and have pixel's over the child's face. Has anyone considered what going to the press might do to this child? Yes, a child has the right to know his parentage, and maybe Arnold has been visiting him all along, but his privacy as a child is important too.

We'll be following this story!

C Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto blog 2011 All Rights including Internation and Internet Rights Reserved.

EXTRA-MATRIMONIAL CHILDREN is a way of saying that you have children outside of marriage.

KARIN STANFORD says they were in love with one another but accepted that their circumstances precluded a conventional relationship.

"He didn't make any promises," she says. "I didn't think we'd have a future together. I just thought it was something we were doing for the moment."

Stanford also says it did not bother her that Jackson was married. "From what I understood about Rev. Jackson's marriage was that it was basically a political marriage," she says.

Link to the ABC news article above.

"Next to coming to a good understanding with a new Mistress, I love a quarrel with an old one." - George Etherege

KARIN STANFORD is Mistress of the Month for May 2011!

She's Jesse Jackson (Sr.)'s ex, with whom he has a daughter, Ashley. Karin has gone after child support and been fairly quoted in the news, though she says it was the FEDS who outed them.

Jesse Jackson is one of those Christian Ministers who has a lifestyle that's barely conservative, a charismatic man, and one who had Presidential ambitions. It was he who counseled then President of the United States, Bill Clinton, when Bill got caught lying about Monica Lewinsky. It just may be that because of his affair with Karin, Jesse had to give up on a White House Future.

Karin says she has "no regrets," and thinks of their daughter as a miracle child, born in 2000. Karin started life over as a professor of Pan-African Studies and Politics Pan- at California State College, Northridge, in Los Angeles California, and is the author of a book about Cancer Survivors, Breaking the Silence - Inspirational Stories of Black Cancer Survivors, as well as other books.

Like many modern mistresses, she is an educated woman, who could support herself well, without a man's help. Never the less, love and awe of a man, led her to being a mistress, at least for a time in her life. UPDATE AUGUST 2013: Karin, if we count hits only, is probably the most popular mistress I've written about. A recent comment about what would have happened if a CONSERVATIVE Public Figure had been involved with Karin intrigues me. As recent new information comes out about Monica Lewinsky and President William Clinton comes out, I think that in fact there have been many politicians linked with women other than their wives. Some of these mostly men are Republicans, some are Democrats. Some of these men have suffered for it, even if it only appeared they had an affair, or it was discovered they had many affairs, and some have fathered children in long term adultery. Consider Gary Hart. However, defining who is a mistress these days is complicated by the general lack of marriage, couples who lived together, people who have an alternative lifestyle such as living in deliberate polygamy or living with more than one lover all in the same household. I don't dwell on those who have affairs but not RELATIONSHIPS, and where there is a child there is usually a RELATIONSHIP.

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