ASK QUESTIONS THAT ARE A LITTLE MORE THAN FRIENDLY

A good conversation always shows interest in the other person too; their experiences, opinion, advice, and well... Questions like these qualify as FLIRTING. You're going to have to smile and make eye contact, You'll have  dare. So have just a little bit of obvious flirting attitude when you ask these questions.  Hopefully the person you're having a conversation with will get into the mood and come back with some flirty answers too...

What’s your favorite way to flirt?

Have you ever had a crush on a friend?

What's your favorite pick up line?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

If we could have an adventure together, what kind of adventure would it be?

What's your favorite thing to do on a date?

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES : Charming on the Phone

"I will indulge myself in the art of phone conversation!"

Are you charming on the phone?

This one is tricky because being a good conversationalist is also about listening.  So many women complain of not being heard when they do talk. They find themselves being repetitive because someone's response to what they say is dismissive. Seems a lot of men want to talk of themselves more than listen to a woman.  In fact some of these men think it is a woman's role to be the listener because they can't talk to their men friends.  Sometimes a woman waits all day to excitedly tell her man something and the right time never comes.  He may even unfairly consider her  to be "too talkative!" 

It takes practice to be a good conversationalist!         

It's taken me years to cut phone conversations short! 

For years I had a difficult time getting off the phone.  When I finally started conversations with "I can't stay on long but I called to tell you..." some of these people STILL wouldn't take the hint!  As a result there were people I simply would not call or call back!

Some people are more detail oriented or verbose than others.  Some only give sound bytes!  What you're listening for is that they UNDERSTAND what it is you just said.  Responses that affirm that you HEARD what they are saying are important, more so than claiming to agree if you don't! 

Don't assume that because someone is complaining to you or that they need support that they actually are soliciting your opinion.  So ask them first, "Do you want my opinion?"

Never tell someone to do something that you yourself would never!   You can always say, "I hear you!"  or "I don't know what I would do in your position."

Although we want to share, especially with close personal friends we can trust, we also want to talk about the subjects that interest us, the things that keep us interested in life, not just gossip or problems.  Everyone has a few interests besides gossip, so be ready and up to date!  Bring up anything in the local news about their favorite pastimes.  Is there a special antique auction coming to town?  Maybe you can go together!

And it can't all be serious. Pull your friend out of their blues with some light humor!  The irony of life!

Be wary of relationships that are all about phone conversations, in particular repetitive calls that go past 40 minutes and are actually therapy, but never seem to turn into making and keeping plans.  You can say, "I'd prefer to talk to you about this in person.  When can we have lunch?"

When you're meeting someone for lunch or dinner, be sure to give the other person equal time to talk and if they are monopolizing the conversation and do that frequently, then you need to assert yourself a bit and say, "and now about me!"   Yes, a good friend is someone you can lean on in crisis and who you will be there for too.  You want to do that and be that, but taking repetitive calls in the middle of the night to save someone from suicide is probably not something you're qualified for!

Twitter, Facebook, Social Networking, and other blurbing will not take the place of real conversation and in person is the best!

C 2014 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

MISTRESSES ARE READING PATTI STANGER BECOME YOUR OWN MATCHMAKER

Missy here! OK first of all there are not just 8 steps and they are not easy, however, we can all learn something from Patti Stanger here, who has had her own tough road to follow when it comes to men. (And by the way, we hear she just broke her years long relationship and also went on a diet to slim down to dating size again.)

Here is the list of things you do not want to talk about NEVER with a date
from pages 158 -168:

YOUR OWN ADVENTURES IN DATING

YOUR EX

MONEY (She says it is uncouth and to never ever ask a man for money during the pre-marriage relationship. Presents however, are generally acceptable to keep.)

HEALTH PROBLEMS

RELIGION

POLITICS

NEGATIVE SUBJECTS THAT DEPRESS YOU

YOUR CHILDREN

SEX

YOUR DIET

CELEBRITIES (She herself can't help to but...)

BUSINESS



But do talk about

SPORTS

TRAVEL

LITERATURE

CULTURE

MOVIES

NATURE

YOUR COMMUNITY

MUSIC

HUMOR

PETS

THE MEDIA

LOCAL AND NATIONAL NEWS

and especially research so you can talk about HIS FAVORITE SUBJECTS!

Page 169

"Men fall in love through their eyes and women fall in love through their ears."


BECOME YOUR OWN MATCHMAKER
8 EASY STEPS FOR ATTRACTING YOUR PERFECT MATE
Star of The Millionaire matchmaker
Patti Stanger with Lisa Johnson Mandell
Atria Books - A Division of Simon and Schuster, Inc.
C 2009

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - On Topic

"I'm a fascinating conversationalist. I keep up with world affairs. I listen. I ask good questions. And I have my special topics too."

I believe that you should stay away from topics like your diet, exercise, medical conditions, recipes, giving blow by blow accounts of movies you've seen or books you've read, home economics or child rearing, even though you are probably interested and involved in many of these activities...