AGNES KEYSER : "SISTER AGNES" WAS A NEVER MARRIED CHILDLESS WOMAN WHO LOVED THE AGING MONARCH KING EDWARD VII AND NEED NOT TAKE A DIME FROM HIM

Agnes Keyser as "Sister Agnes"

painting by Miss Maude Coleridge which appeared in tabloidish The Tatler, 16 September 1914.

image from Wikipedia

AGNES KEYSER

1852 – 1941

Raymond Lamont-Brown authored this book, which compares and contrasts the two acknowledged mistresses of King Edward VII's last years. It serves as the primary reference for this month's posts.

The magazine illustration above shows Agnes as a nurse, and called "Sister Agnes."  However, she had no nurse training. She could be called nurturing but commanding. The King was ailing, obese, in pain.

On the book cover here, Agnes is the one depicted to the top left, and Alice Keppel the bottom left. Lamont-Brown's book is about the last two loves of this King, who had devoted most of his life to pleasure whenever possible, during the last few years of his life.  

How to describe Agnes Keyser? One might suggest that she was so unlike the other mistresses of Edward Albert, the Prince of Wales who became King Edward VII, so unlikely to be a mistress, that she's remarkable in that way ... There is some speculation that he and Agnes had a love that was devoid of sexuality.  Though that may or may not be true, once again we make our way through the  mistress stereotype, that the relationship is about sex.

I want to start by posting what I learned about Agnes Keyser from reading the book I featured last month: Catherine Arnold's.

The King and his wife lived at Sandringham House which is today the preferred family home of King Charles III, but his wife felt herself to be a prisoner there because she was left home while the King was openly in a relationship with Alice Keppel. Everyone seemed to know their place in the scheme of things, for, according to author Raymond Lamont-Brown, that the King's entourage for his coronation  included other mistresses such as Daisy Greville, Countess of Warwick, Lillie Langtry, and Sarah Bernhardt. 

There is also the question of just how many children the Prince of Wales, who became King Edward VII late in life, had begot outside of his marriage. Some of the people who attended the coronation may have been the "bratlings" he had fathered.

The King was an aging, arguably sickly, portly, 58 year old when he met Agnes Keyser.  She, at 46 years old, was a prim "bachelor girl" (spinster) who had never married or had children. Her family was not quite to-the-manner-born as some of his mistresses had been, but they were rich and influential enough to have Agnes presented to Queen Victoria at court. Her parents were at least partially of Jewish heritage. Her father was a member of the Stock Exchange. She was an heiress and had the independence and freedom that most women of her era did not. It has been remarked upon that from an early age she did not much like women but she loved men. Speculation is that her own nanny was too harsh with her.

Agnes probably met the king in 1899.  The Boar war broke out and she and her younger sister, Fanny, set up a nursing home for officers.  Just officers. The King, called "Bertie." set up a trust to finance this nursing home.  Several of the donors were also of some Jewish descent. It became King Edward's Hospital for Officers.  She was thus called "Sister Agnes."

Now, from the Raymond Lamont-Brown book, we learn that both women likely got involved with the King around the same time in 1898.  In the mid 1800's in the United Kingdom there was a man-shortage. Around 20 percent of the women who were born about the same time as she never married. Not only that but the age of first marriage for women of her class had risen to 26 years old. But this isn't offered as an explanation for her resistance to marriage, which had been expected of her.  "She found the social ideal of women subjugating herself to a man in matrimony abhorrent." The Englishwoman's Review summed up her attitude perfectly when in its columns it averred that 'the higher a woman's nature is, the more likely it is that she will prefer to forgo marriage altogether, than surrender herself to a union that would sink her below her own ideal.' Because Agnes Keyser was wealthy she was never considered a social failure.

Furthermore, as a spinster, Agnes Keyser was far more independent than a married woman, being able to act as a trustee, an executrix, or an administratrix should she wish to, and to enjoy a franchise in parish matters.  Agnes Keyser became a member of the Victorian group of women who slowly developed new lifestyles which in time would influence all women. And as a terrible snob, Agnes intended to be somebody.  (Excerpts from page 45.)

The King had certainly no need of Agnes' money and she was not one to expect his financial support or generosity. But of course, what I do wonder, is if having two very different women in his life at the same time was necessary for the King to have all that he wanted and needed, if the two of them had qualities that balanced each other. For Agnes, if she thought of her as competition or not, the other woman was not the King's wife but Alice Keppel, a flamboyant personality who loved riches. Edward had been a Prince in waiting for the throne the majority of his life and his mother, Queen Victoria, was formidable. His wife, Princess Alexandra of Denmark, and he, had done their duty in bringing children into their world, but it was not a true love match. Divorce was impossible but who knows if Alexandra ever thought about it. She prevailed in the end having had the man in her life longer than any other woman.

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SLEEP WELL

  Daisy Greville loved animals and kept several including a white peacock.

DAISY GREVILLE COUNTESS OF WARWICK'S LAVISH BALL LEADS TO HER CONVERSION TO SOCIALISM

The Palace of Versailles party was highly criticized in a small newspaper called Clarion would lead to a sort of conversion for Daisy Greville.

Excerpt page 205: "Daisy's fancy dress all was hailed as a triumph. "The throng of splendidly gowned and costumed men and women in the setting of the noble rooms of the castle seemed at the time to make the gathering worthwhile.  Daisy recalled, arguing that not only had the ball been great fun, but she had provided employment for dozens of servants, dressmakers, musicians, caterers, and florists.  "I felt happy in the belief that our ball was giving work to so many people who would otherwise have been idle. The festivities of the Lords and Ladies Bountiful were being translated into terms of meat and bread for the workers....

But then she saw the article in Clarion in which she was accused of sham benevolence."  Today we would say she needed a wake up call or that she was clueless. She went to see the editor, Robert Blatchford.

Excerpt page 205 -206 : ... "Daisy was so infuriated by this article that she jumped out of bed and took the next train to London."

"And then Robert Blanchford told Daisy, as a socialist and democrat, what he thought of charity bazaars and ladies bountiful.  Blatchford made plain the difference between productive and unproductive labor, and said that labor used to produce finery was as much wasted as if it were used to dig holes i the ground and fill them up again.

By this new standard, Daisy came to understand that nine-tenths of the money spent on the Warwick ball had been wasted.  Such elementary economics as that the only useful labor was labor that produced useful articles, which in turn helped labor produce again was all new to her...."

When Daisy got back to Warwick Castle, the party was still going on.  But Blanchford had made his point. She ordered dozens of books on socialism and read them. She was converted to new notions about social justice. Financing a school for local children and a needlework business for local women were just some of her efforts.

Her private life still included the Prince. In 1897 she wrote to him that she was pregnant again but the affair had ended. The son she gave birth to was perhaps not the Prince's but that of her latest lover, Captain Joe Laycock of the Blues, who was one of the riches men in England and a war hero. Pregnant, she decided this time to have an abortion. It was a horror and she almost died of infection, but she recovered, only to become pregnant again at the age of forty-two. She gave birth to Laycock's child in 1904.

The Prince, of course, had other mistresses, notable were Agnes Keyser, and his last, Alice Keppel.  The Prince became King Edward VII at age 59, after the death of his mother, Queen Victoria. in 1901.

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Note: I personally think Banchford's thinking was extreme. I do see value in all labor including the expensive fashion and entertainments. Today many thousands of people are employed in those industries. It is mindful not to be wasteful but I dread to think what would happen if so very many were put out of work.

PEACOCK FEATHER FAN

 

THE BERESFORDS ATTEMPT TO PREVAIL OVER DAISY AND THE PRINCE BUT THEIR WARWICK TITLES WERE SOON RECIEVED : DAISY'S SPENDING IS OUT OF CONTROL

That passionate letter Daisy had once sent to her lover, the married Charles Beresford, continued to cause problems.

In 1891, Charlie Beresford threatened The Prince. If his wife, Mina, Lady Beresford, was not restored to her place in society, he would publish Daisy's letter. He was going to use the 19th century media. Beresford let the prime minister know this too. Would the prime minister tell the Prince what to do or would the Prince tell the prime minster? The prime minster was savvy. He said that the social laws of their class were such that it would not be appropriate for Charlie to disgrace his former mistress by making her affair with the Prince public.  Additionally, one had to consider what it would do to the Princess Alexandra if the public got a whiff of what her husband was up to.  Round and round it went, with Charlie expecting an apology to his wife, her reinstatement, and for Daisy to be banished for one year.

Frances Greville considered divorce but threw that idea out soon enough. She was "the devil he knew." In 1893 Frances Greville became the fifth Earl of Warwick and he and Daisy moved into Warwick Castle.

Excerpt page 201: ... "Daisy agreed to withdraw from court for a short period of time. This really was not much of a penance for Daisy; everybody loved her - with the exception of Mina - and as acknowledged mistress of the Prince of Wales, she could do as she please.  At this stage, Bertie's love for Daisy never faltered. The prince continued to write adoring letters to his "darling Daisywife." and Daisy continued to receive his attentions, recalling in late life that "he had manners and he was very considerate."

Daisy was still in trouble with her husband though. He had taken a decade or more of Daisy's unfaithful behavior at their family home, Easton Lodge. He knew a lot and he felt foolish. It wasn't that the Prince of Wales got the most attention from Daisy all those years, but that she had gone wild and had entertained many lovers there. She had also sold off the contents of Warwick Castle to continuing to finance her extravagant lifestyle!

She threw a party at Christmas time, before they moved into the Castle, in which she spared no expense for the children of their estate. Electric lights blazed, the tree was heavy with gifts. She gave fur-lined coats to servants and bags of toys to the children. Each member of her house party left with silverware and jewels. The Greville estate employed dozens who made their lives - and that of their many guests - comfortable and beautiful.

Excerpt pages 202-203

..."At five o'clock the fifty household servants left their duties in order to arrange themselves on either side of the ballroom, and the village children were ushered in. Behind the children came one hundred outside workmen, gamekeepers, woodman, gardeners, estate artisans, stablemen, and motormen....

Then, after the Grevilles had moved into the castle, Daisy threw another party, and this one was a ball with four hundred guests who wore eighteenth century court dress in the colors white and gold. She dressed as Queen Marie Antoinette. She had the castle remodeled and refurbished it so that the walls were hung with tapestries. Candles and chandeliers illuminated the party and white flowers such as lilies from France perfumed the air. In her way she was trying to make Warwick Castle into the Palace of Versailles for one night.

This party, which was highly criticized in a small newspaper called Clarion would lead to a sort of conversion for Daisy. Her kindness and over the top generosity was in place but she would begin to turn her attention to the poor and become a socialist!

Unlike some of the Royal mistresses we have learned about here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO, Daisy had a tremendous personal estate and was a member of the peerage. Her husband was also rich and they inherited a historic castle. It is unsaid, but it's also likely that the Prince gave her gifts such as jewelry. Perhaps beautiful Daisy simply had no idea what it was to live without, the way all those good people, though employed by her estate, had to.

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ELINOR GLYN RECALLED THE DAYS OF THE MARLBOROUGH HOUSE SET - THE GARDEN OF FRIENDSHIP : DAISY IS RECOGNIZED AS THE KING'S MISTRESS

Although he may have tolerated his wife's adultery with the future King, Prince Edward Albert, Daisy's husband, Frances Greville was one to play too.

Although Daisy, as mistress to the future King went here, there, everywhere with him and was not a secret to society or his wife, Princess Alexandra, they mostly met at Easton Lodge, Daisy's own fabulous estate.  

Excerpt pages 156-157 :

"... The gardens, with red deer in the distance beneath the shade of the ancient trees, were a favorite trysting place for Daisy's guests. One of these was young Elinor Glyn, last seen as a little girl on Jersey, hiding under the dressing table at Government House in order to spy on Lillie Langtry. Now a beautiful young woman in her own right, with green eyes and the "most beautiful red hair I have ever seen" Elinor had been taken up by daisy as something of a fellow spirit. Elinor had recently married one of Daisy's neighbors, an Essex landowner and barrister named Clayton Glyn, and settled in a nearby mansion named Sheerings.  As a young beauty, Elinor was receiving the cold shoulder from the ladies of the country set, who "had lost their complexions on the hunting field and started incredulously at her, as though nobody had a right to be as pretty as that. After meeting Elinor at a dismal hunt ball, Daisy immediately befriended her, and invited her and her husband to stay at Easton..."

Page 157 :  On the very first evening of Elinor's visit to Easton, Daisy's husband Brookie, invited Elinor to come and inspect "the rosarie," Daisy's newly planted rose garden. Elinor accepted the invitation, but the moment that they were alone Brookie seized her in his arms, embraced her passionately, and told her that she was, by far the loveliest rose in the garden. Elinor Screamed in horror and ran inside to report the incident to her husband.  When Elinor told Clayton that their host had made a pass at her, Clayton laughed out loud and exclaimed; "Did he, by Jove!  Good old Brookie'

.... Elinor later recorded her impression of Daisy and the astonishing and scandalous world of Easton, w world that would provide inspiration for the sensational romantic novels that were to make Elinor's fortune.

"No one who stayed at Easton ever forget their hostess and most of the men fell hopelessly in love with her," Elinor Recalled.

READING UNIVERSITY SPECIAL COLLECTIONS : AUTHOR SCREENWRITEELINOR GLYN

Excerpts: Elinor Glyn (1864-1943) was chiefly known for popular romantic fiction and for Hollywood film scripts. She specialized in romantic, often risqué, fiction and popularized the concept of the ‘It-girl’. She had a great influence on early twentieth century popular culture and the careers of several early Hollywood stars. ..... In 1919, she signed a contract with William Randolph Hearst’s International Magazine Company. She was brought over to the USA by Famous Players-Lasky Production Company to write screenplays. She also wrote for Cosmopolitan Magazine. The screenplay of her novel “It” helped her gain popularity as a screenwriter. In 1920, she moved to work in Hollywood where she became one of the most famous women screenwriters of the 1920s working with MGM and Paramount. She also had a brief career as one of the earliest female directors.

(It was Elinor who first came up with the notion of the "it girl" - the woman who has "it."

Missy here!

Daisy was also popular with her tenants and staff. She was considered to be kind and generous in her dealings with them. I think it's important to know that she had that character before she notoriously became a socialist. However, at this time in her life, about 1881, she still had Mina Beresford hating her and her husband was also tired of her behavior. 

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SEX ADDICTION : WHEN IS TOO MUCH TOO MUCH? : MISSY SPEAKS

I don't have the answer to that question. However, we can start with trying to define what sex addiction, which, in my opinion King Edward VII, once the Prince of Wales, had is.  Using Google AI, here is the consensus:

The official clinical term is CSBD = Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder. Classification: ICD-11 classifies it as an impulse-control disorder, not a chemical addiction.

"What it is NOT: The American Psychiatric Association (APA) did not include "sex addiction" in the DSM-5, although they recognize similar behaviors under "other specified sexual dysfunction".

Key Symptoms: Inability to control intense sexual impulses, engaging in sexual behavior despite negative consequences (e.g., relationship, financial, health issues), and using sexual acts to cope with stress or trauma.

Synonyms used: Hypersexuality, hypersexual disorder, or sexual dependence."

Let's say you are partnered and personal's involved have no complaints. Then probably we can say it's not too much (or too little.) 

Sometimes, however, incapability means that one or all go "outside the primary relationship." I have no way of knowing how often it is that a man has a mistress for this reason. I know that the notion that sex is the primary reason a man does have a wife and a mistress is a stereotype. I also know that some people have open relationships or otherwise knowingly allow or condone sexuality outside of the primary partnership. It's just that, as I see it, relationships are relationships because there is not just sexual motivation - more is going on there. 

I once had a man friend who had almost no sex with another person for years but, today, I would consider him a sex addict simply because of the relentless hunt for the woman or women he actually felt attracted to went on and on. Sometimes you can be friends with someone - good and close friends - for years and not know what they are all about in their very private life. You're friends and it's not part of your relationship maybe, certainly not essential. Then, you slowly begin to realize something or maybe someone else gives you a clue. 

Celibacy is a good choice for some people for various reasons. Fantasy may be healthy and a substitute for womanizing and may be about avoiding actually hurting real women without care or concern. (This was one of the reasons he said he was so careful to date but not jump into intimacy.) However, in this case, I was finally clued in, here and there, that my friend had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which had gotten worse with age. His own family and friends he had known years longer than I had, understood that. I would say that his parents had the responsibility and opportunity to get him to a doctor but they were codependent. Today I'm able to play armchair psychiatrist and "diagnose" my old friend; I still hesitate. I think that OCD, untreated, in his case, ties in with CSBD.

He married eventually, finding a woman of another race attractive, which I have no problem with but find interesting, considering how many women he passed by who were truly interested in him and attractive. It's my great hope that they love each other and have an excellent relationship. Perhaps she had the influence that I, as a friend, did not. Maybe she got him to the doctor and he's on some meds. For I fail to understand how falling in love and marrying can resolve years of hunting and fantacizing.

Missy

AFAR