Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise.
In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever.
Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.
In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.
Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.
She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***
Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.
What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.
Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.' Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.
Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.
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