FLOBELLE "BELLE" FAIRBANKS BURDEN : EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT HER DIVORCE MEMOIR TITLED "STRANGERS"

 

Everyone is talking about this memoir and it's controversial. Some commentators have the idea that it's outrageous that Belle, a woman who came from "old money" - American aristocracy out of New York City - dare reveal her pain. One commentator - a woman - said in so many words, how dare she feel bad about herself because she went through a divorce, Belle isn't wondering if she's going to have to sell the house and move into a small apartment or what sort of job she's going to have to work to support her children... She was also accused of writing for the purpose of revenge, rather than a need to express herself or process grief.

I remember the day I met a woman who was much richer than me. As we spoke she said, "Everyone has pain, including rich people." I agreed. I think how rare it is for a woman with her privileged background to reveal her truth. So very many people from her social-cultural group - men and women - friends and not so - went against her. Well educated, a lawyer who presently works pro bono on juvenile immigration cases (citizenship), a loving and responsible mother and wife, and an heiress with two substantial trust funds that allowed her to purchase two residents for her family - one in New York City - one on Martha's Vineyard island, Belle had a deep desire to remain married and have an intact marriage. She had witnessed her mother and grandmother's relationships with men. Both had infidelity in their relationships and protected the men. She wanted more and better.

Belle is eloquent and there are passages in the book that are beautiful as well as heart-rendering. She reveals the shock she felt and the many emotional and psychological - and eventually financial  and social - adjustments she had to make in order to get through a difficult time. She was deeply in love with her husband when he seemed to change overnight. 

A telephone message revealed that her husband was having an affair. He said it was brief, he said it was nothing, he said Belle - his wife and the mother of their three children - was his priority. But then he was out the door and didn't even want shared custody. On this, I would say that a man wanting freedom from fatherhood seems to be the worst of it.

Belle did not know if the woman she called her husband's "mistress" was or is still in his life. I simply do not think that a woman is a mistress because she had a brief affair with a man who is legally married at the time. She also does not understand what happened that her husband changed seemingly so drastically.

Although the husband of the woman Belle's husband had an extramarital relationship with might have well intended, I don't think he should have done that. Rather, I think

As for wives staying with husbands who have extramarital relationships - and actual mistresses - every individual has to decide that for themselves. I can say that many do. There are all sorts of agreements that people come to or negotiate in their relationships.

And as for her husband's only explanation being that something switched off in him, believe it or not, that does happen.  Perhaps it was actually happening slowly but the reckoning of it may be sudden. 

As my reader's know, I love to excerpt, but in this case, I will do only one.

Excerpt page 105:  (Belle wants to know more about The Other Woman. One of her daughters was given a name that doesn't match the name she was told, though he explains that it is the same woman.)

... "It was nit the alliterative one I knew, the name that had tormented me since he left, the one I googled multiple times a day, staring at her face on the screen, trying to understand why he had chosen her over me. In addition to having a profile on LinkedIn, she had posted three photos on Facebook - a vacation photo on a boat (her dark hair pushed back with sunglasses), a photograph of a tropical drink (served in a coconut and decorated with an orchid) and her profile photo (another vacation shot, this one at a zoon.) She was fifteen years younger than me, but not a younger version of me. We looked like the opposite of each other, in height, coloring, style.  I thought, he wants something different.

...

I had not reached out to the woman or her husband since the night of the voicemail and the ambulance. Her husband didn't text me or call me again either. An older friend, a lawyer, advised me against any contact.  He said, "It will become messy very quickly, and it will only lead to more misery. It could also, possible, make you look bad in front of a judge when you divorce."  His advice felt like a clear, defined path, one that felt dignified... "

Very many podcasts discuss this book. Here is one that focuses on the financial aspects" called

Thee Wall Street Skinny Ex-Morgan Stanley Bankers: "Strangers" by Belle Burden our HOT TAKE on the Real Finances

C 2026 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights

AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS AND ALL THAT INTENSITY THEY DID BREAK UP FOR GOOD : FREDA DUDLEY WARD AND PRINCE EDWARD ALBERT

Dear Readers, I don't know if you've ever been obsessed with someone or someone has been obsessed with you, but I just don't think of relationships like the Prince had with Freda or she him as at all healthy.

Excerpt page 378-379/1074 e-book: For years Duddie (William  Dudley Ward), Michael, Freda, and the prince were locked in a toxic cycle that made none of them happy. the prince continued to be away often.  In 1924 and 1925 he toured America, South Africa, and South America  Since 1915 less than a third of his life had been spent in England, and such long absences were difficult for Freda and Edward.

***

Freda stopped writing to him while he was on tour in South Africa. Michael got blamed. But he already had another woman writing to him, another mistress named Audrey Coats.  (She was not a challenge and bored him.) Freda felt trapped in her marriage and was depressed, wondering which of her lovers she should choose. Her parents did not approve of the way she had lived her life. ...  Perhaps Edward was actually obsessed with himself!

In 1927 the Prince, though he had Audrey also as a mistress, and also married, was still in love with Freda. Audrey's husband died and was available to be remarried but not to the Prince. She eventually married in 1930 to an American, Marshall Field III of the Chicago department store family and moved to New York!  

Freda also had an affair that year with a rich American, the heir to the Wanamaker department stores! Michael thought she was being cruel to him.  And on it went.  Then Freda did divorce but it made no difference. She and the Prince had always known they could not marry. 

What happened was Thelma Morgan Furness.

For all the intensity and all the years that Freda and the Prince were involved with each other, they finally let go. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if they had wisely done so years earlier.  Breaking up is hard to do, and reading this account, it sounded like torture to me.

I ask YOU, if you've ever been locked into a relationship that should have ended years before!

Missy

OPALESCENT

 

WHIPLASH CURVE

 

 

EXOTIC

 

PEGGY HOPKINS JOYCE : SUGAR BABY ICON : SHE ADMITTED TO BEING MATERIALISTIC : WAS THAT THE PROBLEM?

Peggy Hopkins Joyce was and is considered to be the icon of the Gold Digger, a woman who seduces men to marry her, men who have money, is insincere or without love for them, divorces, and then moves on to her next conquest. But it seems to me that the flamboyant Peggy was in her youthful bloom when she succeed to do so and that, although some men do the same, and without apology, few women can get away with it. 

I say that as more than one woman friend of mine has found herself married for money or traded in by her husband/partner when a richer woman wanted him. The ruthlessness of such maneuvers can be heartbreaking.

Peggy was honest about her materialism and perhaps because she projected some humor about it and herself, it wasn't held against her too much. It was part of her personae. She claimed her reputation. Some say she was "The Original Material Girl." Some say she was an inspiration for Marilyn Monroe of Diamonds Are A Girls' Best Friend fame for her depiction of Lorelei Lee in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Years went by and Peggy went without marriage, and without children, though we have no idea how many men came into her life or left it between marriages or if she ever wanted to be a parent.

Peggy was born in 1893 as Emma Marguerite Upton. She had two marriages later in her life.

Peggy's fifth marriage was to a man named Anthony Easton, an engineer. They married in 1945 and were married until about her sixth marriage in 1953 was to Andrew Glifford Meyers, a retired banker and she died of cancer in 1957 still married to him. I wonder if she ever went by Mrs. Easton or Mrs. Meyers.

C 2026 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

DELICATE

 

PEGGY HOPKINS JOYCE : SHE PURSUED ACTING WHILE SHE PURSUED MEN

IMDB : PEGGY HOPKINS JOYCE : MOVIE ROLES 

Here's a YouTube video featuring the 1933 trailer for the movie International House, which also starred the comedian W.C. Fields.  Peggy Hopkins Joyce didn't act in many movies, despite her said career orientation. But note that other actresses played Peggy!  And she was the January 1926 Winner of the Photoplay Award (sponsored by Photoplay Magazine, a fan magazine) for the Best performance - of the month - for her work in the movie The Skyrocket. This was a silent film, as were the 'shorts' she appeared in as early as 1916.

VELVETY

 

PEGGY HOPKINS JOYCE : THE ORCHID LADY OF STAGE AND SCREEN

 

In the Roaring Twenties Peggy Hopkins Joyce was called

 "The Orchid" or "The Orchid Lady of Stage and Screen: 

Orchids were (and often are) exotic and, when rare, expensive,

 and require special care, 

just as she did.

MISTRESSES DISCOVERED IN THE GLORIA SWANSON STORY : PEGGY HOPKINS JOYCE and CLARA KIMBALL YOUNG

As you know, MISTRESS MANIFESTO depends most often on books - biographies and memoirs especially - that have been published in the past and which I've selected and read cover to cover.  Once in a while I read a book about one of the women I plan to elect to the Mistress of the Month pantheon, and I find that another Mistress or two has been mentioned.

That's been the case reading 'Gloria and Joe' by Axel Madsen, which was my primary source for posts last month about Gloria Swanson.

Golden Era Hollywood - Silent Films - Talkies -  The development of technologies, the movie-makers - producers - directors - studio heads -  Madsen's book tells a lot.  To my surprise a woman I wrote about in April of 2010, Peggy Hopkin's Joyce, called a 'Gold Digger' and who ended up one of the world's largest diamonds, is mention. Another woman mentioned is the actress Clara Kimball Young, who, shame on me, I never had heard of before. These two women who were in Hollywood and hoping to become movie stars in the same era as Gloria Swanson.

Now, if you've been reading MISTRESS MANIFESTO, you know that the Classic Mistress is a woman who was (or maybe is) entirely "Kept" by a man who she isn't married to. Kept as if being financially provided for, often for her entire life, sometimes though he is married to one - or several women - over time.

Gloria Swanson was a talented and determined woman whose personal life suffered because of her fame and wealth and perhaps her own unconventional values. However, I think that if she had come of age in the 1960's she would have had affairs but not married the men she did when it was believed with good reason that a celebrity could have their fans turn against them if they went against the morals of the day. Having a series of lovers and not marrying them is rarely such a scandal now. 

But what about Peggy Hopkins Joyce? Clara Kimball Young? Let's find out what author Axel Madsen wrote about them in his book Gloria and Joe. I'll add-to with research and reportage as we go along.

Missy

C 2026 Mistress Manifesto - BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

MISTRESS GLORIA SWANSON & WIFE ROSE KENNEDY : A LOVE TRIANGLE

 Joe Kennedy told his wife that Gloria Swanson  was his most important business partner.

Excerpt page 212 : ... The two women in his life played along.  Echoing Joe's exact sentiments, Gloria told Rose she was grafted she had her husband to giver her the right business advice because her affairs were a mess.  Gloria would always wonder what exactly Rose knew, and she always watched for a remark, a glance, a gesture, that would tell her whether Rose was a saint, a fool, or a better actress than she.  There were moments she knew she was being tolerated, for Joe's sake, and moments when Rose must have been aware of the fatuously surprised face Gloria showed.

Rose willed herself to believe that her husband told her.  She, they, had nothing in common with Gloria, no convictions, no sanctity. The mere fact of lying - if that was what Joe was doing - showed he respected that sanctity, the family they had created together, even if he had deserted their marriage bed. So to Rose, Gloria was a talented star, incipiently crucified by her own good looks, terribly lonely behind the put-on self-deprecation and blasé indifference to her own fame. Gloria was a woman married to an affable but untalented man and therefore desperately in need of Joe's solicitude and financial acumen.

Joe Kennedy promised Gloria that she would never have to be alone with his wife, Rose. He had Gloria come out to the family compound in Hyannisport. But the day came when Gloria was tricked into being taken to talk to the Cardinal O'Connell of Boston. She bluffed that she had only a business association with Joe. He knew better. He told her that Joe was in trouble. His Catholicism was being challenged by having the affair with her. She was offended. She thought the Cardinal should be talking to Joe. But the message was clear. She was being told to quit the affair with Joe, to leave him be. It's possible that Rose's father was the person who had contacted the Archdiocese of Boston. The gossip columnist Hedda Hopper reported that the former Boston mayor (Rose's father) had ordered Joe Kennedy to get out of Hollywood.

When Joe dumped Gloria, he simply left Hollywood without making plans to see her.  Some years went by and, perhaps both had become philosophical, because the author reports of a friendly-enough phone call and favor.

C 2026 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

JOSEPH P. KENNEDY - THE PATRIARCH : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

 JOSEPH P. KENNEDY - THE PATRIARCH : 

The Remarkable Life and Turbulent Times of Joseph P. Kennedy by David Nasaw. 

MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

first posted February 26, 2018

This is a fine work, well researched with permission of the Kennedy Family who allowed sealed documents at the Kennedy Library to be open to the author, and can be read just for the historical content.  Joseph. P. Kennedy was the self made man who fathered U.S. President John F. Kennedy and left his many children millions.  We Americans seem to know a lot about them, and this vast family still has some illustrious members. Of surprise to me (and I've read so many books about the Kennedys and Jackie and Marilyn) is that Joseph P. Kennedy had quite the relationship with Franklin Roosevelt before and after he became President of the United States and was no stranger to visits to the White House, but also that he socialized with William Randolph Hearst and his Mistress Marion Davies.  Author David Nasaw's focus is entirely on Joseph P. Kennedy so the relationships of all other's named, including his wife Rose, are not detailed, and if you've read a lot of books or seem a lot of films around the Kennedy's much of the information you read here may seem repetitive.  However, I'm reviewing this book for MISTRESS MANIFESTO because of the many characters in it that you have read about here (and can easily summon up using the Google Search feature embedded in the side bar to bring up past posts about!)

These include: 

Joseph P. Kennedy's Mistress Gloria Swanson

William Randolph Hearst and his Mistress Marion Davies

Missy Lehand, said to be the in-Whitehouse Mistress of President Franklin Roosevelt,

Kathleen "Kick" Kennedy, daughter of Joseph P. and Rose Kennedy.

Clare Boothe Luce (Who I owe a month to.)

And of course Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, who I think would have made a better Mistress than a Wife.

I came away with an understanding that Joseph, though frequently not home due to business, and the fact that he and Rose seemingly lived separate lives though united by their children. wrote loving letters to his children and had not abandoned his fatherhood.

C 2018 -2026 Mistress Manifesto - BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Here's where you can find posts in my archive:

November 2019

MARGUERITE "MISSY" LEHAND :OFFICE WIFE AND WARM SPRINGS MISTRESS OF FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT

July 2013
MARION "ROSEBUD" DAVIES : MISTRESS OF NEWSPAPER MAN AND HEARST CASTLE BUILDER  WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST

March

KATHLEEN “KICK” KENNEDY ; Sister of J.F.K., Widow of Billy Hartington, Mistress of Peter Wentworth Fitzwilliam When They Died in A Plane Crash

GLORA SWANSON IN JAZZ AGE PARIS : YOUNG and RICH - READY TO REMARRY - PREGNANCY and THE NIGHTMARE ABORTION

Gloria Swanson in Jazz Age Paris : She wrapped a movie called Madame Sans Gene, which was being touted as another success and galas for the opening were being planned in New York City. Starting in January 1925 she would be making $7,000 a week. She had met the man who would become her next husband, French nobleman Henry de La Falaise, reputed to be a millionaire himself. He wasn't close. Her net worth was higher. He was alarmed by her spending; A costume party in which guests danced to three bands, for instance, or that she had bought gifts for every member of the cast and crew of the film. She was mixing with the most famous and successful creative people in Paris.

Excerpt page 109: News of Gloria Swanson's sumptuous wrap party reached American gossip columns, together with rumors that the screen idol had gone totally French - indeed, that as soon as her divorce became final in January, she would marry a French Millionaire and quit the movies. ...... She discovered she was pregnant.

Gloria  had signed the morals clause in her contract. Her divorce from Herbert Somborn was not final and she dreaded being known to have had an affair by giving birth "very prematurely." She couldn't marry Henri de La Falaise asap and become a bigamist. She decided having an abortion was the only thing she could do. And she decided to do so without telling him.  It would not be her first abortion. For she had been aborted during her first marriage to Wallace Beery. She called a journalist, the only person she thought she could trust to explain her dilemma and find a doctor for her.

Excerpt page 109 : ... When she said she saw no other solution but an abortion, he agreed. "You and Henri are both young," he said. "You have all the time in the world to have another child." The words stung. When she was seventeen a nurse had told her the same thing. She had judged Wallace Beery harshly then, had never really forgiven him, and now she was ready to do the same thing.

Andre (Davin) arranged the abortion while Henri arranged a civil wedding.  As it turned out, she was given permission to legally marry Henry earlier than she had thought and as it turned out the abortion had been arranged for the day after she had the permission to marry!

She married Henry and then Andre went with her to the abortion doctor. She was given ether (put her under before the surgery) and afterwards she was "surprised she could walk." She went back to their hotel suite at the Plaza Athenee and went to bed, awakening with a serious fever. 

Except page 110: By nightfall she was drenched in fever. Henri called a doctor, who had her hospitalized. Each time she woke up. Henri was there. She told him the truth; he told her she had tetanus. He didn't say that such infections were often fatal and characterized by violent spasms and rigidity of many or all the voluntary muscles. Nurses tried to make her stand up; her feet folded under her. Finally, she had her first meal sitting in a wheelchair. Everybody applauded when she began moving her toes.

Of course, the truth of her illness was kept a secret. 

Excerpt page 111: The return to America was a triumph. Gloria's marriage to a nobleman and her long battle with death had provided Famous Players-Lasky/Paramount with millions of dollars' worth of free publicity, and Zukor and Lasky pulled out all the stops. Adoring crowds nearly smothered the far from recovered movie star, but it was out of the question for Gloria to lay low.

C 2026 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

GLORIA SWANSON and HER RED CARNATIONS

Gloria Swanson was known to carry a red carnation when she was out in public or appeared on a television talk show, so that flower became an associated icon. She would give them as little gifts. In 1981 during an interview with Barbara Walters, she said she had first started doing so in order to have something to do with her hands instead of smoking a cigarette. She exercised, limited her diet to health foods, and credited taking care of her health for maintaining her beauty without cosmetic surgeries or procedures.

C 2026 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

 

WHITE ORCHIDS

photo by Alexandra Nosova on Upsplash

The Prince of Wales often sent Alice white orchids, one of her favorite flowers.