DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Journaling

"I will keep a diary or journal!"  

I know some of you don't like to read or write a lot and keeping a diary may seem sort of teenage, but I think a dating/relationship diary is a really good idea.

These days you do a lot of texting and emailing your business to strangers but a diary is something you write to YOU, your secret self, or an imagined best friend who you can tell everything to, more than you would tell your priest or therapist (there isn't enough time or money!)

My only concern is that you have an excellent place to keep it hidden nearby. Diaries and journals can help you get focus, note changes, and make decisions... years go by and one day you can reread what you wrote now and understand how you were then. 

C 2012 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

GO TO A PARTY TO SNIFF OTHER PEOPLE'S SWEAT TO FIND LOVE?

Just saw this article about pheromone parties and if you click on the title you'll get to read the whole thing!
"The parties started as an experiment in matchmaking by a California woman weary of online dating, but it turns out they also have a root in science. Researchers have shown that humans can use scent to sort out genetic combinations that could lead to weaker offspring.

At an art gallery in Los Angeles on a recent night, partygoers huddled around several tables covered with plastic freezer bags stuffed with shirts and an index card bearing a number. Once they found one they liked, a photographer snapped a picture of them holding the bag and projected it onto a wall so the shirt's rightful owner could step forward and meet his or her odor's admirer..."


(Click on the title to get to the link!)

MISSY ASKS YOU : DO YOU KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO SHOULD BE A MISTRESS INSTEAD OF A WIFE?

There are some people who get married and are soon very bored or feeling too confined with marriage.

Male or Female, gay or straight, they would be better off keeping their own place rather than moving in. They would be better off making their own money or spending the money they're supported with the way want to, without always having to confer and agree with a spouse. They need some separate vacations, separate friends, separate interests. Maybe they are a bit too independent for a traditional marital lifestyle.

Maybe their relationship would be better if they were never married.

KOSHER ADULTERY by SHMULEY BOTEACH : BOOK EXCERPT

BOOK EXCERPT : KOSHER ADULTERY by SHMULEY BOTEACH

Pages 58-59

"The reason we search for higher meaning in our relationships is that humans are endowed with perception and insight.... As long as a man and woman still want to know each other, their relationship is healthy and strong. They are still leaning inward toward one another, desirous of peeling off layer after layer - both in terms of clothing and psyche... But the moment they think that they completely "know" each other, the relationship has functionally terminated..."

"The relationship is dead the moment a couple hits a brick wall or when he things he's got her all figured out. His questions about her day at the office will stop. His desire to know how she can be sexually pleased will cease. Her hopes to be at his side through his long trek through life will diminish."

KOSHER ADULTERY
Seduce and Sin With Your Spouse
by SHMULEY BOTEACH
C 2002 Adams
Media Company Publisher

RIELLE HUNTER'S MEMOIR : SHE WASN'T JOHN EDWARDS FIRST MISTRESS

Linking to one of many articles, this one by MEG KINNARD, on RIELLE's new book, called "What Really Happened: John Edwards, Our Daughter and Me," just out, which is about her romance with politician John Edwards. This link has a good picture, and a long transcript you can read, to form your own opinions.

LOVE TRIANGLE IN ROSES

KOSHER ADULTERY by SHMULEY BOTEACH : BOOK EXCERPT

KOSHER ADULTERY
Seduce and Sin With Your Spouse
by SHMULEY BOTEACH C 2002
Adams Media Company Publisher

This book was really interesting to me because it's a famous Rabbi, Shmuley Boteach, telling married women to create terms and conditions in their marriage that would mistress proof it. How? By acting like mistresses themselves! Missy

Page 30

"Lillian Ross, the famous journalist, created a scandal a few years ago by writing of her forty year affair with William Shawn of The New Yorker, after he died. She maintained that "After forty years, our lovemaking had the same passion, the same energy...as it had in the beginning."

"Sounds impossible right? But read almost any revealing chronicle of an adulterous affair and the two participants claim the same thing. For the duration of their affair, they had really great sex. Their erotic desire for each other did not lessen with the passage of time. If they broke up it was for other reasons: The mistress became too possessive and demanded that her lover leave his wife; one of the two lovers was found out by his or her spouse who gave an ultimatum, the affair simply became too complicated; and so on. But lovers in an illicit affair almost never break up because the relationship simply becomes dull or boring..."


Quoting Rabbi Harold Kushner, Rabbi Boteach writes,"Once the mistress is readily available, without the thrill of a clandestine affair, she becomes less desirable. I told (the woman) to do nothing, not to throw him out, not to call him names or tell people what he had done. Don't put him in the position of choosing between a wife who curses him and a girlfriend who caresses him..."


"About 90 percent of men who leave their wives and move in with their mistresses end up leaving their mistresses within the first year of living together. Clearly, something about the passion and mystery is lost when the vagaries of everyday life set in."

RIELLE HUNTER INTERVIEW ON WIRED : THE TONE OF THIS ARTICLE IS OPEN AND POSITIVE

This ten internet page article by Lisa Depaulo for Wired, with beautiful photographs of Reille Hunter with daughter Quinn, by photographer Mark Seliger, is much more open and positive about Rielle as a person. Here she is seen as a beautiful loving mother who is not living high and mighty. Sadly some of the comments left below the article accuse her of being delusional and a liar. This interview is a testimonial to what her thoughts and feelings were about her relationship, her daughter, and all that money coming her way, which she says was given to her by Andrew Young, from sources she wasn't immediately aware of.


(Click on the title to get to the link!)

RABBI SMULEY BOTEACH ADVISES KOSHER ADULTERY TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE : OPINION MY MISSY

I've just finished reading KOSHER ADULTERY by Shmuley Boteach. This famous Jewish author, who previously wrote KOSHER SEX, an international best seller, is advising that husband and wife play games with each to keep sex like it is supposed to be in an adulterous affair - always "hot."

Now, perhaps sexual attraction is a predominant motivation for having an affair, but by my way of thinking it is not the only motivation and by my way of thinking sex alone never kept any relationship going. What is probably more true that sexual attraction is the way most relationships of the romantic kind start. If you're not really attracted or the attraction doesn't remain intense, then maybe you become and stay friends. By my way of thinking many husbands and wives become friends and stay together through the years for other reasons, such as family pride, raising children, or finances.

In fact I think the primary motivation for affairs is emotional not sexual. I tend to think that if a relationship is solid it is impervious to affairs and that people are looking for more than great sex in relationships. In particular they want to be loved, yes, "for themselves."

Don't laugh.

I know you can all come up with examples of people who are unlovable but who expect to be loved for themselves, despite their bad, even gross, habits, inability to make a buck, or some other loathsome or questionable characteristic.

Any time you feel sorry for yourself in a relationship because the love of your life is a little too much this (hardworking, spoiled, or selfish?) or not enough of that (beautiful, athletic, or rich?) you meet someone who has it worse or better! You have to be really motivated to stay in any relationship for many years and we can't help but do a little comparison shopping from time to time, but maybe we're better prepared for our own headaches rather than taking on someone else's?

I thought I would excerpt some parts of the book that I thought of as especially worth sharing, especially because John Edwards and Reilly Hunter will be all the news this month.

Missy

C 2012 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto All Rights Including Internet and International Rights

SIMPLY RED : HOLDING BACK THE YEARS

RIELLE HUNTER and JOHN EDWARDS : MISTRESS OF THE MONTH

The trial of John Edwards for possible use of money given to him by two grand supporters, Bunny Mellon (the multimillionaire who also designed the rose garden for the White House in the President John F. Kennedy era) and Fred Baron, in an illegal way, was very interesting to me. He was accused of using the money to hide his mistress Rielle Hunter. Some say that hiding her was in fact a campaign strategy.

I believe it that Edwards' covered up his involvement with Rielle to protect his wife of many years, Elizabeth, who had breast cancer and soon died of it. He may have fallen in love and /or lust with another woman, a very different woman than his wife, but that doesn't mean he was totally insensitive to that fact that the mother of his older children was dying of a terrible disease or that they had a long history together.

Rielle was strategically moved around and given/paid about $9000 a month to live on. She gave birth to a child as a result of the affair, a daughter, who is about four.

The article from ABC news that I'm linking to paints Reille as woman who is quirky. Some other articles I've read about her would make her out to be a woman with a shady and sad past, as if she is the bad woman who brought the man down. Isn't that typical stereotyping of the mistress, as if it doesn't take two to tango?

An excerpt that focuses on her reinvention of herself, like so many people who are coming out of nowhere and striving to achieve: "Hunter was born in 1964 and named Lisa Jo Druck. She married Alexander Hunter in 1991 and took his last name, becoming Lisa Jo Hunter. In 1994, she legally changed her first name to Rielle.

But it doesn't stop there. On her daughter's birth certificate (which does not include the girl's father's name) Hunter used the alias Rielle Jaya James Druck.

While Hunter was receiving hush money from Edwards' donors, aide Andrew Young testified, she received an American Express credit card in the fake name Jaya James. She picked the name, she said, because it sounded like Jesse James, the famed Western outlaw. When the card arrived, it read "Randy Jaya James" and Hunter refused to use it. It was later reprinted "R. Jaya James."

I'm linking to an ABC news article about Rielle which attempts to explain that she may not have been called to testify because she's kooky, into astrology (so many people are! Why wasn't Nancy Reagan on trial for that?) and so on.