DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES : Knowing Your Self Worth

"My gifts may not be expensive, but they are just the thing, and beautifully presented."

Mistresses, especially those of you who are gifted generously and living the life of a millionairess because of your man and learning all about the good things in life, this may be difficult. You see so many beautiful things when you shop and travel and you want to give him a memento.

Still, if you are not equals economically, it is more important that you save your money than buy him expensive gifts that you cannot afford. BESIDES IF YOU HAVE NO INCOME OF YOUR OWN he sees that you are using the money he gave you to spend on him - as if you don't need it when you do.

For those of you who are working and have your own income, that does not equal what he earns, also be aware that something small and special, just right for him, even if it is not expensive, is what to do.

Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot C 2010-2024 All Rights including Internet and International Rights

First published December 11, 2010

DR. TONI GRANT COINED A FEW PHRASES - POOH BEAR ETERNIS - GHOSTLY LOVER - COURTESAN ASPECT

 

Dr. Toni Grant married and moved away, but she was one of the first talk show hosts on radio to focus on psychology.  People, mostly women, and mostly women who couldn't seem to get and keep relationships going, called in for advice.  Eventually she wrote this book, which I have in my library, and which is aimed at the dynamic woman who can't get married.  (I want to make it clear that's not every woman!)

 

Famous for coining phrases such as Pooh Bear Eternis (the male who never matures) and Ghostly Lover (when you love a man who does not exist, exists only in your imagination, or who you're so hung up on you can't move on to another), and the various aspects of femininity such as the Mother and the Courtesan, Dr. Toni Grant's feminism was seriously questioned.  (Personally I think of her as one type of feminist - there are many!)

 

I've been debating over Pamela and Patricia.  In one scene in her book STRANGE DAYS,  Jim Morrison calls Patricia "Mother."  It's a cut.  He doesn't want her to tell him what to do.  In her book she goes on a bit about the fact that she would not put up with him treating her badly or his drug abuse or alcoholism and Pam would.  Pamela Courson, more vulnerable, clearly dependent, with a pixie-ish voice and girlishness about her, seems to me to be more of a Courtesan, but it's she who goes about telling people she's Jim's wife, while for years Patricia keeps her witch wedding with Jim a secret.

 

 

A MISTRESS AND A WIFE FIGHT OVER A PAINTING : MISTRESS RUTH KLIGMAN

Vanity Fair - September issue - devotes an article to the story - and so I elect artist Jackson Pollock's mistress Ruth Kligman, as September's Mistress of the Month. As I've said before, there are plenty of historical mistresses, but there are also plenty of modern-day mistresses and they keep making the news if not history!

You know, most Americans claim to loath mistresses. While gay pride parades go happily down the street, the mistress is hidden away. It's presumed that the man is married, that he's rich, that it's heterosexual, that it's "just a fling," that he has a madonna - whore complex. Mistresses are called "home-wreckers," even though the marital relationship may have been "wrecked" for years. Sometimes these things are true, but mistresses are too common for them to always be true. For some people being in a love triangle is simply an alternative lifestyle. It's not for everyone. It's not always for long. And some common ordinary, even conservative women, have found themselves there when they least expected it would ever happen to them.

Despite the denial, films, books, and news about mistresses are just so interesting. Maybe it's just a great fantasy for some people. Maybe it's a lot about sex. Maybe the fiction mistress is safely far far away in a make believe place that even a wife enjoys the read. It's when a mistress isn't make believe that the uproar often starts.

Reading author's like psychologist Dr. Toni Grant, we learn that there is a bit of "Courtesan" in every woman, if she chooses to coax it out. Reading Rabbi Shmuley Boteach we learn that married couples can keep their relationship alive by pretending affairs. Reading Robert Greene we learn seduction is an art and science and philosophy.

Some of our mistresses have lives that are cautionary tales. Some have had a great ride and don't want to get off the roller coaster.

Linking to an interview of author Leslie M. M. Blume, whose Vanity Fair article introduces us to artist Jackson Pollock, his wife, and his mistress!

C 2012 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto All Rights Reserved ; International : Internet

DOCTOR TONI GRANT says "A GOOD MISTRESS IS ...

...usually strong in the courtesan aspect of her personality!
-Dr. Toni Grant, from her successful book "On Being A Woman."