BILL GATES, MELINDA GATES, and ANN WINBLAD ARE (PROBABLY) NOT A LOVE TRIANGLE : OPINION BY MISSY and MISSY ASKS YOU!

The announcement that Bill Gates and his wife Melinda French Gates are calling it quits after 27 years of marriage, three grown children, billions earned and much of it given to charity and good causes - including development of a Covid-19 vaccine, is being reported internationally. Apparently, Bill once dated Ann Winblad for seven years but ended the relationship when he met Melinda. Ann was given the respect of approving of the marriage - or at least giving a strong opinion. I know that's a bit like Camilla Parker Bowles approving of Diana Spencer as a wife for Prince Charles. Ann is also married.

As reporters hunt down "the other woman" who (probably) doesn't exist, though a billionaire like Bill Gates and a billionaire like Melinda French Gates are certainly going to be confettied with persons of interest, the reveal is that for years Bill and Ann spend one weekend a year together at a beach house in North Carolina.

I thought this was terrific. You can bet it was negotiated with Melinda as well as Ann and Ann's husband. Obviously Ann and Bill decided they valued a long friendship and wanted to keep it and did despite many years full of changes. Out of 56 weekends in a year, Ann got one, but it was enough. If Ann were a male best friend very likely Bill could more easily spend a weekend or a whole wifeless vacation week with him, without scrutiny or anyone calling the place they stayed a "love nest." The old friends do a lot of catching up during that weekend.

It seems to me that Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates also have negotiated a friendship, one that includes continuing the philanthropic work of their Foundation. They are also keenly aware that due to their wealth their lives are lived on the world stage and it wouldn't surprise me that the announcement and all else has already been planned. If there is anything that broke them up, busyness is probably to blame. 

The reporters know they have a Big Story but are some of them desperate enough to make stories up out of little evidence? I picked this story up on a publication that I read called Daily Mail (i.e. Daily Mail UK or Daily Mail Online). During Covid-19 lockdown, I found myself reading it way too much. I realized that many an article in this publication is based on speculation or "Royal Experts," many who have written books that have gained them the "Expert" title. However, their opinions are touted as Journalism, and Journalism is based on facts - OK research - interviews - fact finding. If you read the publication enough, you soon realize that there are many conflicting opinions about Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle AKA The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, as an example. That is what makes the publication, one of the most popular in the world, a tabloid rather than a 'hard news" venue. 

However, maybe no one but Bill and Ann know if their weekends are part of a SAME TIME, NEXT YEAR relationship. By bringing this up, I do not intend to imply it is. Same Time Next Year was a play I once saw at a straw hat theatre that was made into a movie in the 1970's. In it, two people who had an affair agree to meet each year. She tells her husband she goes to a religious retreat. It's fascinating because they are devoted to their spouses and have no intention of divorce but the personal changes each goes through all those years shows them in distinctly different places in life. His wife dies first.

While one article in the Daily Mail called what Bill and Melinda and Ann have an "odd arrangement" I have to wonder how many people just wish they could have one just like this with someone of the opposite sex with whom they have a valued relationship.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND ONE WEEKEND A YEAR WITH AN OLD LOVER TURNED FRIEND that your partner knows about?

WOULD YOU DUMP YOUR BEST FRIEND IF SHE BECAME A MISTRESS? : MISSY ASKS YOU!

Some people are more Mistress Friendly than others. It might depend upon the person, what she's like before she becomes a Mistress, and what your friendship was like before she became one of the many women (and men) who has send Yes to non-Traditional relationship.

WOULD YOU DUMP YOUR BEST FRIEND IF SHE BECAME A MISTRESS?


Missy

COMMITTED : A SKEPTIC MAKES PEACE WITH MARRIAGE by ELIZABETH GILBERT : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

 

COMMITTED by ELIZABETH GILBERT

 

MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW/EXCERPTS

 

 

This book asks "are EXPECTATIONS of marriage," which are cultural, really what makes marriage a questionable commitment today? 

 

Examples of alternative ways of marriage are given. 

 

For instance, among Hmong women, you don't expect your husband to be "your best friend, your most intimate confidant, your intellectual equal, and your comfort in times of sorrow." (page 32)  Of course this list does seem idealistic, even today, but most of us in the Western world, the 1st world so to speak, do expect our husband or wife to be the best person for us that we've ever met and communicating with that person as a confidant, intellectual equal, and comfort in times of sorrow are necessary.

 

As polygamy and gay marriage make the news, we learn that in ancient Southern India, a union between one women and several men was OK and in ancient Rome, a union between two men was recognized as marriage. (page 53)  So maybe the ancients were even more advanced in their thinking than we are, and so is it surprising that there is still a debate here?

 

Then there is the history of marriage, which was seen as an economic union, that protected inheritances and wealth, so that marriages could take place even between the unborn.  In Mediaeval Europe, peasants were forbidden to marry those of higher rank.  In China, a living woman could be married to a dead man in a "ghost marriage."  (page 54 and page 61)

 

A great example of what it took for people to change their practical and economic view of marriage was that after the Black Death (plague) when 75 million people died, there was, for the first time perhaps in Europe, such a great striving for remarriage that finally, for survivors, there was a possibility of marrying up.  "20 somethings" eagerly married elderly men and women.  (page 61)

 

And then Gilbert shares with us an old Polish adage that goes...

"Before going to war, say one prayer.

Before going to sea, say two prayers.

Before getting married, say three prayers."  (page 85)

 

This author, famous for her intellectual and spiritual memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love," also gets into infidelity and being childless by choice.

 

A thought provoking though less personal book than that one, this is a worthwhile read. You may just find yourself testing your own expectations about commitment to the status quo.

 

 

C 2016 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto Blogspot

 

 

 

 



MISSY ASKS YOU ! WILL YOU SPEND THE HOLIDAYS ALONE ? LOVE YOUR OWN COMPANY!

If you haven't yet, it's time to make some plans so that you are not alone for the holidays, that is, if you don't want to be.  (Many very busy people long to have some peace and quiet in solitude.) If you haven't, learning to love your own company is the key to solitude rather than loneliness. 

The holidays offer many opportunities to keep in touch with local and long distance friends, even if it's just attending to your holiday card list and adding a personal note.

I'M A BELIEVER IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED, STAMPED, ENVELOPED, GREETING CARD, one with at least a short personal note.  E-mail or e-cards will never replace the well designed papery card!  Not among people with taste!

Are there any movies you've been wanting to see AT THE THEATRE?
Home DVD nights be banned!  Time to take yourself out to the movies, the biggest screen, but don't indulge in the extra large popcorn which will put fat on your tummy that only Santa Claus would envy!

Is there something special you've been hoping someone else would gift you?  Maybe it's time to indulge yourself a little.  Buying something special for yourself, when you can afford to, is a wonderful way to stimulate our poor economy.  Maybe you are or used to be a retail sales clerk on commission yourself?

If you are going to spend the days between Christmas Eve and New Years Eve alone and are thinking you might get depressed, think vacation.  If you can't leave town, make this a time to become a tourist of your own town  Now is the time to go to art galleries, museums, and concerts.

Don't forget to invite your friends.

It's not too late to create a wonderful holiday season for yourself!

Missy

SUSAN GRIFFIN : THE BOOK OF COURTESANS

The Book of Courtesans
A Catalogue of Their Virtues
C 2001 Susan Griffin
Broadway Books new York

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A "MISTRESS" and A "COURTESAN?" Susan Griffin is a wonderful author, her language lyrical, as she displays for us the VIRTUES.

Page 4

"And unlike the mistress of a married man, who is often kept hidden, just as the courtesan was proud of her jewelry, she too was proudly displayed. She was expected to accompany her various lovers to public places and events, cafes, restaurants, balls, parties, the theatre, the opera, even hosting gathering of her lover's friends at her home..... During the Belle Epoque in Paris, among the wealthy playboys, aristocrats, and businessmen who belonged to the exclusive Jockey Club, it was considered de rigueur to keep a courtesan - so much so that even homosexual men felt they had to do it for show.