BLUE BUTTERFLY ON MINT

 

NOT SHY

 

WHAT's UP FOR 2020? MISSY SPEAKS

Dear Readers,

This year celebrates a bit more than one decade of blogging on the subject of Mistresses here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT!  My first posts were in April of 2009 but it was a while before I settled on a less spotty and more structured magazine type format that starred a particular Mistress of the Month (or Honorary Mistress of the Month) or particular topic. For some time I was posting affirmations for Mistresses and discontinued that, though the affirmations were tied in with the title Mistress Manifesto, and you can still find them if you search though the archives. In recent years I've sometimes spent more than a month on a subject.  December - Holiday time - my posts are more uniquely topical.

For 2020 I have a list of persons to elect as Mistress (or Mantresses) of the Month, some really good ideas (more than one suggested by readers in Comments) and a growing pile of books I want to read. But... I can't get them at my library.  How could that be?  Is it that the librarians or other staff who actually buy the books don't think there's interest?  Or is it a moral choice not to provide the non-fiction, the memoirs, biographies, and autobiographies of these people who were or are known to the public? 

As a result I did some brain storming while on a vacation and I think you'll find the start of 2020 a little different and interesting.

As I personally learn more and more about Mistresses (and Mantresses) though my reading, research, and writing, if there is anything this blog (and I) stand for, it's CHOICE. We need to explore how much choice we have in this life just as we yearn for experiences and philosophies.

Mistresses have been a hot topic in romance fiction for decades as women as readers especially try on a role that few are suited for or achieve in reality. I encounter hundreds of fiction Mistress books as I search for the nonfiction - the memoirs, biographies, and biopics including at those libraries where I'm a patron. I've come to think that this is partly because readers want to indulge in what is, if not forbidden, an alternative lifestyle via fantasy.

Fiction books make you think. How do you withstand the ardor you feel for someone you can't have completely? Do you really enjoy sneaking around, if you have to, or for how long? Would you stay with him or her if they no longer had the money to Keep you?

While the fantasies of sexual desire, heart pounding love, and living a secret life (at a time when are privacy is so invaded) can sustain some, for others being a Mistress is a reality. It can be a beautiful fulfilling reality for some and for others a harsh and ugly reality: so much depends on the people involved, the personalities, and  if there is love.

Besides love and sex, the monetary rewards of Mistressing are always a question. Today there are more opportunities to have Hook Ups that have Financial Reward of some sort for having a Sugar Daddy/ Momma. Then there is also, overall, less need to be with another person who can afford us. Women are in the workplace almost always now and some are financially supporting families as well as men. (So I'm always interested in learning about women who Keep men and I don't mean the dad who stays at home to care for the children.) Every individual and situation is different, for we all cannot be at the top of the heap, even with college educations, but I feel that the financial motivation for women to be Kept is much less than it once was. In the past even brilliant women were limited by societal norms and expectations and generally unable to obtain education and income producing employment or grow businesses. 

Every situation and person is a bit different.  There are those who have enough, even more than enough, who see being Kept as having even more.  Still, I think love wins out over sex and money.

Looking forward to the New Year,

Missy

DECLARATION FOR ALL OF US! : Safe/Safer Sex

"I practice Safe/Safer Sex.  If a person refuses to cooperate, then I don't have sex with them."

Since the days when John C. Holmes was diagnosed as HIV positive - and kept it a secret - there's been some advancement in treating HIV  (the virus that causes AIDS) and keeping it in control and from becoming AIDS, full blown and deadly. 

Actor Charlie Sheen has recently come forward as HIV positive, there are plenty of drug cocktail options as well as experimental therapies in many other countries for those who have the wealth to option them as Charlie and many others have. It used to be thought of as a GAY DISEASE but that isn't true.  Since then we know HIV/AIDS can be transmitted through the transfer of blood through needles - especially shared illegal drug use, contamination - blood transfusion and unclean hospital equipment, any form of sexual activity in which there is blood, including menstrual blood, and that the virus has been detected in other bodily fluids such as saliva and tears.  We know that babies can be born sick with it, transferred from their mothers.  We know that people give and get HIV by rape.  We know that people can get it the first time they have unprotected sex or if a rubber breaks.

What all this means is that you have to be careful and especially that you have to TALK ABOUT SAFE/SAFER SEX with a potential sexual partner BEFORE YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF having sex with them so that you're in agreement. 

It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is.

YOU - YOUR LIFE - and the PEOPLE YOU LOVE are all worth saying NO to SEX otherwise.


There are MANY web sites that deal with SAFE/SAFER SEX, HIV, and AIDS but let's look at the one that's officially the CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL for the UNITES STATES

CDC - HIV BASICS

C 2016 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved

NEW YORK MISTRESS THEODORA LEE CORSELL as well as the ASHLEY MADISON HACKING SCANDAL : MISSY SPEAKS!

DAILY MAIL - MISTRESS SUING FOR $2 MILLION - SIX YEARS OF SERVICES 

EXCERPT : on Theodora Lee Corsell, Mistress

A 67-year-old mistress who spent the last six years trying to get a retired media executive to divorce his wife and leave her alone at their Park Avenue home has filed a $2million suit against the man. 

 

James Greenwald, 88, was professionally and romantically involved with Theodora Lee Corsell while he was living with his wife Marilee, according to papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court

 

Corsell is suing for the 'reasonable value' of the six years during which her 'services' went unpaid. ...

 

***

 

Missy here! 

 

This law suit could be interesting and may help define extramarital relationships and any economic value they may have.  (Use the search feature on the side bar of this Google Blogger to search for PALIMONY and Michelle Triola Marvin!)   However, my feeling is that while there may be a Breach of Promise involved, Ms. Corsell is unlikely to win the award she is seeking. 

 

Married persons promising to leave their spouses and then NOT - nothing new.  Certainly all those who paid ahead for wedding gowns, halls, and ministers, whose fiancée's decided not to marry them could sue too.  But SHOULD THEY?  I believe that the American public (the lawsuit takes place in New York City) from which the jury will be pulled will think,"You knew he was married and you didn't care and now you want money?" 

But I could be wrong because, if you read Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, you know that DEFINING "Mistress" is increasingly difficult in a time when so many couples live together without marriage, when so many men and women have children with multiple others, and  people who did not seem to want or seek "marriage equality" are trying for it.  There are just so many ways to have relationships, most importantly love.

 

Putting VALUE for SERVICES - for companionship and/or sex - is edging towards prostitution and - this is a feminist value - certainly being a wife and mother traditionally caring for the home, raising the children, and not going out into the workplace as the income earner also has VALUE, a value no one is really willing to put a price tag on, though some people do HIRE others to take care of childcare, cleaning the house, and all else that traditional wives and mother's do.

I recall a friend of mine from some years back who was the pampered and spoiled only daughter in a family of many boys.  She was very pretty and sought out for dates.  While her brothers had to scramble for cars and all else, she was given them.  At 28 years old this friend of mine still talked baby talk to her father.  She didn't know how to cook - not even a burger.  She didn't know that childbirth hurts.  (Really!)  She believed that it was easy for a woman to get her figure back after pregnancy.  She believed a woman should never make more money than her husband.  She believed that abortion was sin, no matter how a woman got pregnant, even gang rape.  She had a big beautiful expensive wedding that cost more than her college education and a substantial down payment on a house, all from her wealthy grandparent.  She was caught up in the romance and excitement of this all, but seemed unrealistic about what her life would be after the wedding.  Still, none of us who were a bit wiser wanted to ruin it for her by telling her so, because, well, MAYBE it would turn out for her as she dreamed.

The man she did marry had an stable but average income.   They were in shock about paying their bills and having money left to eat hot dogs.  Last I heard she was a stay at home wife and mom of seven children.  I think about how stupid her parents were the way they kept her from reality while they told her to "marry to her station in life" which was a fairly inflated idea of who and what all they were.  I wonder if on a difficult day with the children if she is perfectly groomed and ready to wait on her husband when he comes home from another hard day at work or if she's as frazzled as most women would be.  Strong traditional values are in place here and it's unlikely she or her husband would ever cheat, but you never know. Other of my friends who married for the right reasons have.

EONLINE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ASHLEY MADISON HACKING SCANDAL

EXCERPT:

Surely not all 37 million are legitimate accounts. In fact, the hackers themselves stated that a whopping 90 to 95 percent of users are men, suggesting that the majority of Ashley Madison online activity is men flirting with people posing as down-to-cheat women. And some of the people who pleaded ignorance could've had their identity stolen, right? That's what Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden said happened to him, anyway, when his name turned up. The Takeaway: We really want some of the names named to be innocent.

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The ASHLEY MADISON hacking scandal has me rather distracted.  In the past in this blog I have both expressed doubts about online dating (having never met anyone who actually had a relationship with anyone they met on line) and alerted the world to the fact that Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot is NOT related to this or any other web site.

So, what do I really think?  Are there really 37 million plus "cheaters" signed up with Ashley Madison? Are these members mostly looking at pictures and having fantasies but not doing much of anything about having an affair?  I was surprised to learn that the fee to join is substantial, beyond affordable for most people who are NOT sincere in their quest to find someone "on the side" and it made me wonder if traditional marriage is for the minority.

Well, if I were the wife of a husband who secretly signed up for Ashley Madison I would be concerned, but I wouldn't automatically think it went further than the fantasy.   (Check out my past post on the Rabbi who suggests that a married couple needs to have a fantasy between them that they are cheating on each other.)  I would be more concerned if I found myself tied up with a sex addict or porn addict than I would be a man who has fantasies.

Well friends, it's time for me to go, since September's edition is soon going to press!

Missy


 

 

ARE YOU A HONEY TRAP? MISSY ASKS YOU!

I have known only one true HONEY TRAP in my life!  (T'wasn't me!)

"Cindy" was expert at hiding her true self and projecting herself as any man's ideal woman.

I met her when she was involved with a friend of mine.  I actually told him he needed to give her more of a chance when, after a few weeks of dating, he said he had this odd feeling, like he really wasn't getting to know her.  I dismissed his feeling but I was so wrong!  He broke with her and she became very depressed.  She even told him off.  But soon he was out buying her an expensive "perfect gift" and they remained friends.

In fact "Cindy" was still friends with a multitude of men she had once dated, slept with, or had relationships with.

I had to be in her life for some time to begin to figure out what was real or what was make-believe or how much she believed herself.  Was she completely lacking self identity, truly willing to conform to a man's interests to be with him, or was she the smartest woman yet, having always a great number of men to pick from?

This woman had a Masters in Psychology but, she said, she didn't believe in therapy.  Yet, in friendship with her, she posed very much as a Therapist.  She asked interesting questions.  She listened well.  The only trouble was, when ever you tried to ask her the same question and get a response, she expertly moved the conversation back to YOU. 

In the year or so that we were friends, "Cindy" managed to attract several men besides my friend. She had absolutely no problem attracting them. I watched her as she gazed into their eyes, changed her schedule to be available to the ones she wanted to be available for, and  I stepped aside as she was wildly promiscuous (though none of them knew that!)

When I'm friends with another woman, I really do want to know who she really is.  I want to know what her hopes and dreams are, as much as I want to know about her disappointments and hurts.

So if YOU ARE A HONEY TRAP, could you share a bit about your philosophy of life and why you live this way?

Missy

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES : Sex Questions

"I won't be shy about asking sex questions of any person I might have sex with!"

Missy here!

If you're thinking about having sex with someone you should feel free to ask them some questions about their sexuality and health and relationship status before you do!  Many people move from having a hook up, a meet up, friends with benefits or a fling, an affair or an adventure, or just sexting into a "relationship" without knowing much about the other person.  It is too dangerous out there health-wise to be so casual about your sexuality.  

HIV infection and AIDS is a big worry.  But did you know that if you're exclusively heterosexual and  you're with someone who is also exclusively heterosexual, don't do anal sex, and don't share needles for drug use, you're biggest STD concern is herpes?  In some parts of the United States up to 25% of the heterosexual population has herpes and if you become one of those who has herpes you could be on expensive prescription drugs for years, have painful outbreaks that make sex terrible, need to have a C-Section birth, and will have to use protection each and every time you have sex even when you're married?  SO WHY NOT USE PROTECTION EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU HAVE SEX now so you won't have to deal with such issues later?

Besides asking a person to use protection, you may also want to ask them some penetrating questions (pun intended!) about their relationship status.  Are you married?  Do you have a girlfriend?  Are you seeing anyone else?  If the person says they are married ask them if they are legally separated or living alone and how long they have been.

Do not be one of those people who, when confronted with the truth, confronts the other person, only to be told "Well, YOU never ASKED!"

C 2014 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot