KOSHER ADULTERY by SHMULEY BOTEACH : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

KOSHER ADULTERY by  RABBI SHMULEY BOTEACH

"Seduce and Sin With Your Spouse"

If you are a MARRIED COUPLE, it's KOSHER (OK) to play at FANTASY ADULTERY to keep your romance, or perhaps more accurately, the married sex, interesting.  So says this American Orthodox rabbi, who has authored 30 books, has media presence, and is a public speaker. He also wrote, Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy, published in 1999, which was quite successful.

I'll just give you the ideas he presents in his book:  You can play at sex by pretending to be different people.  You can write secret love letters, as if from other people...  (As I was reading this I was thinking of one friend of mine who seemed to get a rise out of her husband every time she mentioned that she went somewhere (the grocery store - anywhere she went without him) and some strange man was looking at her, or tried to pick her up.  She's pretty but she mostly lied to make him jealous!  Since I hate things like that being done to me, manipulations, I myself would never do this!)

But I have to tell you, I think what the Rabbi recommends is the slippery slope to actual cheating. I think this is what the ASHLEY MADISON SCANDAL has been about.  I still think that many, if not most of the people who actually paid a MEMBERSHIP to go look around and see who they might cheat with on that site, were having a FANTASY.  Tell you what.  Men used to just go out to lunch, sit in the town square, and watch the pretty girls go by.  (Being married never stopped people from noticing other people's beauty or being attracted to others.  You can always "Window Shop" but not "Buy" they used to say.)

I wonder... Is sex really so important?

My opinion is, it's more civilized to have a Mistress, than sleep around. I wonder, is all this fantasy just the "slippery slope" to real adultery?


C 2016 Missy Rapport / Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot 
All Rights Reserved including International and Internet rights. 

NEW YORK MISTRESS THEODORA LEE CORSELL as well as the ASHLEY MADISON HACKING SCANDAL : MISSY SPEAKS!

DAILY MAIL - MISTRESS SUING FOR $2 MILLION - SIX YEARS OF SERVICES 

EXCERPT : on Theodora Lee Corsell, Mistress

A 67-year-old mistress who spent the last six years trying to get a retired media executive to divorce his wife and leave her alone at their Park Avenue home has filed a $2million suit against the man. 

 

James Greenwald, 88, was professionally and romantically involved with Theodora Lee Corsell while he was living with his wife Marilee, according to papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court

 

Corsell is suing for the 'reasonable value' of the six years during which her 'services' went unpaid. ...

 

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Missy here! 

 

This law suit could be interesting and may help define extramarital relationships and any economic value they may have.  (Use the search feature on the side bar of this Google Blogger to search for PALIMONY and Michelle Triola Marvin!)   However, my feeling is that while there may be a Breach of Promise involved, Ms. Corsell is unlikely to win the award she is seeking. 

 

Married persons promising to leave their spouses and then NOT - nothing new.  Certainly all those who paid ahead for wedding gowns, halls, and ministers, whose fiancée's decided not to marry them could sue too.  But SHOULD THEY?  I believe that the American public (the lawsuit takes place in New York City) from which the jury will be pulled will think,"You knew he was married and you didn't care and now you want money?" 

But I could be wrong because, if you read Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, you know that DEFINING "Mistress" is increasingly difficult in a time when so many couples live together without marriage, when so many men and women have children with multiple others, and  people who did not seem to want or seek "marriage equality" are trying for it.  There are just so many ways to have relationships, most importantly love.

 

Putting VALUE for SERVICES - for companionship and/or sex - is edging towards prostitution and - this is a feminist value - certainly being a wife and mother traditionally caring for the home, raising the children, and not going out into the workplace as the income earner also has VALUE, a value no one is really willing to put a price tag on, though some people do HIRE others to take care of childcare, cleaning the house, and all else that traditional wives and mother's do.

I recall a friend of mine from some years back who was the pampered and spoiled only daughter in a family of many boys.  She was very pretty and sought out for dates.  While her brothers had to scramble for cars and all else, she was given them.  At 28 years old this friend of mine still talked baby talk to her father.  She didn't know how to cook - not even a burger.  She didn't know that childbirth hurts.  (Really!)  She believed that it was easy for a woman to get her figure back after pregnancy.  She believed a woman should never make more money than her husband.  She believed that abortion was sin, no matter how a woman got pregnant, even gang rape.  She had a big beautiful expensive wedding that cost more than her college education and a substantial down payment on a house, all from her wealthy grandparent.  She was caught up in the romance and excitement of this all, but seemed unrealistic about what her life would be after the wedding.  Still, none of us who were a bit wiser wanted to ruin it for her by telling her so, because, well, MAYBE it would turn out for her as she dreamed.

The man she did marry had an stable but average income.   They were in shock about paying their bills and having money left to eat hot dogs.  Last I heard she was a stay at home wife and mom of seven children.  I think about how stupid her parents were the way they kept her from reality while they told her to "marry to her station in life" which was a fairly inflated idea of who and what all they were.  I wonder if on a difficult day with the children if she is perfectly groomed and ready to wait on her husband when he comes home from another hard day at work or if she's as frazzled as most women would be.  Strong traditional values are in place here and it's unlikely she or her husband would ever cheat, but you never know. Other of my friends who married for the right reasons have.

EONLINE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ASHLEY MADISON HACKING SCANDAL

EXCERPT:

Surely not all 37 million are legitimate accounts. In fact, the hackers themselves stated that a whopping 90 to 95 percent of users are men, suggesting that the majority of Ashley Madison online activity is men flirting with people posing as down-to-cheat women. And some of the people who pleaded ignorance could've had their identity stolen, right? That's what Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden said happened to him, anyway, when his name turned up. The Takeaway: We really want some of the names named to be innocent.

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The ASHLEY MADISON hacking scandal has me rather distracted.  In the past in this blog I have both expressed doubts about online dating (having never met anyone who actually had a relationship with anyone they met on line) and alerted the world to the fact that Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot is NOT related to this or any other web site.

So, what do I really think?  Are there really 37 million plus "cheaters" signed up with Ashley Madison? Are these members mostly looking at pictures and having fantasies but not doing much of anything about having an affair?  I was surprised to learn that the fee to join is substantial, beyond affordable for most people who are NOT sincere in their quest to find someone "on the side" and it made me wonder if traditional marriage is for the minority.

Well, if I were the wife of a husband who secretly signed up for Ashley Madison I would be concerned, but I wouldn't automatically think it went further than the fantasy.   (Check out my past post on the Rabbi who suggests that a married couple needs to have a fantasy between them that they are cheating on each other.)  I would be more concerned if I found myself tied up with a sex addict or porn addict than I would be a man who has fantasies.

Well friends, it's time for me to go, since September's edition is soon going to press!

Missy


 

 

TOP TEN CITIES FOR MISTRESSES ? I DIGRESS!

HUFFINGTON POST - 2013 TOP TEN CITIES FOR MISTRESSES link to article here.

Based on the wording of this article, the ASHLEY MADISON dating site, which helps people who want to have affairs hook up, provided the stats.  It also says this about women who want to have affairs with married men, not men who want to have affairs with married women. (Go to the article and read it yourself!)

OK, to me the TOP TEN CITIES should be based on, not affairs, and not women looking for men, but WOMEN WHO ARE ACTUALLY KEPT by MEN,  and that is one difficult stat to come up with because who is going to cooperate with a survey?  That someone has signed up with a dating sight and is flirting with having experiences isn't the same thing.  I also believe that it's MEN, or whomever has more money, who choose the person they want to keep.  (Keeping in mind that we know that all arrangements are not about adultery, are not heterosexual, etc.)

THE TOP CITIES (and my commentary!)

1) Phoenix, Arizona (must be those rich retirees!)

2) Washington, DC (no surprise - the Power!)

3) Dallas, Texas (Texas is its own country.  Where there is money the usual Rules don't apply!)

4) Las Vegas, Nevada  (High Rollers, show business aristocrats and showgirls !)

5) Los Angeles (Hollywood!)

6) Houston (See Dallas!)

7) Honolulu, Hawaii (See Hawaii isn't just for the newly wed or nearly dead!)

8) Charlotte North Carolina (Well, I'll be damned!)

9) Fort Lauderdale (Cruises!)

10) Denver (Who'd have thunk it?)

LA IS THE MISTRESS CAPITOL OF THE UNITED STATES! TOP TEN MISTRESS CITIES

Ashley Madison site :  MISTRESSES IN THE UNITED STATES "L.A. beat out Washington, DC (take that, Capitol Hill interns!) for the distinction, as well as Dallas, TX, and West Palm Beach, FL, among others. Within the confines of our fair city, the highest percentage of mistresses are concentrated where the wealthy have a lot to spend on their sidepiece dalliances -- in the 90210 zip code.


The founder of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, has some profound speculation as to why we're so cavalier about getting involved with married men here in the Southland.

"LA operates on an entirely different plane than most other major cities," he said. "Many women who live there have their sights set on other priorities besides just marriage and family, therefore pursuing a relationship with someone who already has a wife and kids suits their lifestyle perfectly."

Here is how the cities ranked:
1) Los Angeles California
2) Washington DC
3) Phoenix Arizona
4) Tampa Florida
5) San Francisco California
6) Dallas Texas
7) Raleigh (North or South Carolina?)
8) Milwaukee Wisconsin
9) West Palm Beach Florida
10) Louisville Kentucky

Don't personally know of anyone who met their person on the Internet but the Ashley Madison site is supposed to be very popular for women who are looking for a sugar daddy...