IS 18 TOO YOUNG TO BE A MISTRESS? OR SHOULD SHE GO TO COLLEGE ON HER OWN DIME?

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hey Missy!
I just turned 18.   Am I old enough to be a mistress?  I met someone who wants me.  He says he'll put me through college.  My mom can't afford it.

Jenny
San Diego

ANSWER FROM MISSY

You're "legal" Jenny.  Should I say "just barely?"

There are lots of college students who are making it through with ways and means besides trust funds and parental contributions.  There are always student loans (but many go unpaid.)  There are also in California the much less expensive community colleges where you go for a couple years picking up credits, get an Associates Degree, and transfer from there, with lots of students getting grants, scholarships, working and going to school part time.  I think this is a better idea that going to any technical or specialty college.

There are also students going to the UC's who are working as strippers and exotic dancers and legal but sexual masseuses (which seems to lead to prostitution and porn but not always).  There are some students who have a Sugar Mamma or Daddy who pays all of their expenses including housing, or help as they can afford to.

But few.  All those ads in the back of free newspapers?  Ignore them.  Sadly what's for sale there is usually girls who had to run away from home and are homeless and abused.

So since going to college does not depend on having a mom who can afford it or rich parents and there are ways to go that don't require being someone's Mistress, let's go to the question of OLD ENOUGH.

My feeling is that 18 is way too young.  My feeling is that a woman should not even consider being a Mistress until she's at least 28 years old!  I know it can be argued that age is "just a number" and it's experience that counts.

WHAT KIND OF EXPERIENCES DO YOU HOPE TO HAVE IN THE NEXT 10 YEARS?

I choose 28 because by that age most people have already had some sexual experience and a good idea of their orientation.  The stats say that by then most have married.  Most have supported themselves for a while.  I don't believe anyone should marry until they have lived on their own and been self supporting for at least a year.  Better, with a realistic sense that if they ever have to, they can make it on their own.  By 28 some of your girlfriends will have married and divorced and be single mothers.

Finally, 28 is about when many women start to get the sense that there aren't too many men out there to choose from.  That sense is actually correct but remember that statistics do not predict what will happen to you in particular.  By 28 a certain percentage of men will be sure they are gay so they are not for you!  Many are happily committed in marriage or living with someone they will eventually marry.  If they are happy, then they are not for you!   If they are happy they won't do more than worship you from afar. No one ever said that getting married means you will never ever feel attracted to someone other than your mate!

Then there are the men who are not attracted to you and never will be, even if you are attracted to them.  Again, not for you!  It seems that men count on their attraction to a woman in their choices much more than women.  Still, because of Internet dating sights, even those over 50 are finding someone to be with that they wouldn't normally meet in the course of life.

So I think "give it ten years and see what happens."

From 18 to 28 you will have lived a lot of life, know more - especially about yourself, be more mature, and you can think about what's happened so far in your life and reassess.

I suggest you go to your closest community college.  Explain your situation.  Talk to their Career Counselors and Financial Aid.  Take some tests to assess your interests and abilities. Even if you try it out with just one class this fall, why not try it, even if you work at a fast food restaurant too!  And Jenny, I thought your question was important enough to run my answer here in plenty of time for you to get it together for the fall semester.

Missy

MISSY ASKS : ARE YOU A LESBIAN KEEPING A LESBIAN?

I know that some of you lesbian women are so keeping other lesbian women!

Not being able to marry legally may be blurring the issue here because the Classic Definition of "KEPT" or "MISTRESS" insists that someone involved is married but, well, sometimes a woman of means will "help" more than one woman, be a patron of the arts, or get that younger woman through college or get her a first career break. 

Sometimes there isn't any sex involved! (Lesbian Bed Death?) but sometimes there is!

Would love to hear some of your stories!

If you leave a comment it WILL NOT APPEAR ON THE INTERNET without my approval and I WILL NOT APPROVE for public use anything you TELL ME YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO PUBLIC!

Truly!

Missy

MODELING'S DARK SIDE - NIGHTCLUB PROMOTERS - RICH MEN AND GIRLS TOO YOUNG : MISSY SPEAKS

A PEEK AT THE DARK SIDE OF MODELING by NIKKI BATTISTE, DAN LIEBERMAN and DAN HARRIS  full article link

"Lonely and low on cash, many models fall prey to a tempting but dubious lifeline: party promoters, perhaps the biggest and best-kept secret of the modeling world.

"It's almost like a secret society, so if you're not in it you don't understand it," said a promoter named Isaiah.

 

It appears to work like this: Party promoters befriend young models. Nightclub owners pay promoters to bring models as young as 15 to their clubs to attract rich men. Rich men go to the nightclub because young models go there, then spend lots of money partying with them. The club owners pay promoters a cut of the nightclub's profit.

 

Some might liken party promoters, many of whom are college-educated, to pimps."

***

MISSY SPEAKS!

As we mature we become better at knowing (because we are taught, observe, and have experiences) at what we will or won't do.  We should check in with ourselves about where we stand on things from time to time because over the years we change.  There are all sorts of things I said I would never do or that other people should or shouldn't do when I was a teenager that I've become more liberal or conservative about.  Most of us want to own our own lives while allowing other people theirs, until it comes to something like child molestation - then almost everyone thinks WRONG!

It concerns me that many teenagers and youthful women who are just maturing and don't know themselves so well, are lured into the party drug and booze lifestyle and then exploited like this. 

However beautiful you are in youth, you really should be thinking about finding a vocation or avocation that will hold your interest and that you can invest yourself in by working, volunteering, or educating.

If you're a bored and lonely model, there are plenty of things you can do while you work towards modeling success.  First, there are many volunteer opportunities that do not require consistency or long term commitments, just for you to show up.  When you approach a non-profit simply tell them that this is the case.   You may not get the choice assignment but you'll be there to learn.  Actors also have to be free to audition or work around dance classes, you're not the only one.  So decide what it is  you enjoy or have interests in and attempt to find that kind of volunteer experiential.  You'll be building a second resume.  One of the best places to do this kind of volunteering is the public library.  There is almost always something that can be done that will be appreciated.  What about horses?  You may be able to muck out the stall in exchange for exercising the horse.

You get the idea!