HER LITTLE CHICK IS BEING HUNTED BY A BIG BAD WOLF - HOW LONG CAN MOM EXPECT HER DAUGHTER TO REMAIN PURE!

QUESTION FFOR MISSY

Missy,

My 19 year old daughter Kaitlin has taken up with a 42 year old wolf.  I'm 45 and sick over it.  She made it through high school a virgin and is legal now, I realize.  She's a good girl whose going to community college part time and working at the mall part time, at (a famous underwear store), and this man likes to sit out on the bench and watch the women shopping in the store, buying bras and teddies.  Kaitlin went out and sat on the bench to eat her bag lunch.  He asked her out.  This wolf drove up outside our house in a Corvette, honked his horn, and Kaitlin ran down the driveway before I could insist on meeting him.  Her best friend Jenny came over to talk to me and said she's worried too.  Do I still have any parental rights?

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Shannon

Dear Shannon, 

In 2016?  Shannon you will always, and I mean always, be Kaitlin's mom, but while you no longer have parental rights,  I've never heard of a legal time limit on parental responsibilities.   (You have been a responsible parent by talking to Kaitlin about reproduction and contraception, right?)

You've been a good mom who has watched over your chick like a hawk to get her through high school a virgin (a miracle!) and now Mr. Wolf won't even meet you and discover that his latest conquest has a mom about his age.  Meanwhile, you've got to trust that all that upbringing you did has made a lasting impression on Kaitlin and that she'll follow through and cherish your values, which have become hers, even though a typical 19 year old is very experimental.  If you hadn't said that her best girl friend talked to you about it, I might not be at all worried.  After all, she could have gone away to college and all you'd know is what she'd tell you.  But Jenny is worried enough to have violated best friend privilege.  To me that's a good reason for a mom to start worrying. I feel that his sitting out on a bench in front of the store to watch women predatory.  He could even be a stalker.

Well, what's a mom and best girl friend gonna do?  Throw a party - maybe a Sunday afternoon pot luck? - for the girls and make it soon, with almost any excuse that you can come up with, other than Mother's Day or a birthday which would require presents.  It should be a casual, fun, get together, whosever left in town that isn't away at college, dig deep into grade school peers, neighbors, altar boys.  Get the food on the table, then leave for three and a half hours.  Maybe Jenny's mom and you can go get coffee or to a film and watch your watches.  If you and Jenny and her mom do a great job of inviting young people, it will remind them that their social set is young.  Tell her, "You can invite Mr. Wolf if you like."  Then don't pester her about him.  Don't ask if he's coming or not. If he shows up, and I suspect he won't, that is also telling. The main thing is that you don't want her to sneak around to see him and you also would like her to have other people to date.

By the way, if you said she was 21, I'd say just leave it alone.  But while 18 is legal adulthood, 21 is all grown up.  It is really hard I hear to just let children go and get their own life, but this is my best idea for a last effort to keep a smart and hard working young woman who works at an underwear store pure a while longer!

Missy

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MODELING'S DARK SIDE - NIGHTCLUB PROMOTERS - RICH MEN AND GIRLS TOO YOUNG : MISSY SPEAKS

A PEEK AT THE DARK SIDE OF MODELING by NIKKI BATTISTE, DAN LIEBERMAN and DAN HARRIS  full article link

"Lonely and low on cash, many models fall prey to a tempting but dubious lifeline: party promoters, perhaps the biggest and best-kept secret of the modeling world.

"It's almost like a secret society, so if you're not in it you don't understand it," said a promoter named Isaiah.

 

It appears to work like this: Party promoters befriend young models. Nightclub owners pay promoters to bring models as young as 15 to their clubs to attract rich men. Rich men go to the nightclub because young models go there, then spend lots of money partying with them. The club owners pay promoters a cut of the nightclub's profit.

 

Some might liken party promoters, many of whom are college-educated, to pimps."

***

MISSY SPEAKS!

As we mature we become better at knowing (because we are taught, observe, and have experiences) at what we will or won't do.  We should check in with ourselves about where we stand on things from time to time because over the years we change.  There are all sorts of things I said I would never do or that other people should or shouldn't do when I was a teenager that I've become more liberal or conservative about.  Most of us want to own our own lives while allowing other people theirs, until it comes to something like child molestation - then almost everyone thinks WRONG!

It concerns me that many teenagers and youthful women who are just maturing and don't know themselves so well, are lured into the party drug and booze lifestyle and then exploited like this. 

However beautiful you are in youth, you really should be thinking about finding a vocation or avocation that will hold your interest and that you can invest yourself in by working, volunteering, or educating.

If you're a bored and lonely model, there are plenty of things you can do while you work towards modeling success.  First, there are many volunteer opportunities that do not require consistency or long term commitments, just for you to show up.  When you approach a non-profit simply tell them that this is the case.   You may not get the choice assignment but you'll be there to learn.  Actors also have to be free to audition or work around dance classes, you're not the only one.  So decide what it is  you enjoy or have interests in and attempt to find that kind of volunteer experiential.  You'll be building a second resume.  One of the best places to do this kind of volunteering is the public library.  There is almost always something that can be done that will be appreciated.  What about horses?  You may be able to muck out the stall in exchange for exercising the horse.

You get the idea!