Monday, December 14, 2009

MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE - DON'T BE ONE!

Here is a new Yahoo News net article on MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE.

I believe that we need to know the difference between honesty and brutal honesty, which is aimed at hurting people. Practitioner's of brutal honesty will use the excuse "Well, I was just being honest." No they weren't. They were just being childish and unsophisticated, at worst rude and knowingly hurtful.

BE AWARE OF MANIPULATORS! AND DON'T YOU BE ONE!



-Missy

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

TIGER WOODS' "MISTRESSES" ???

TIGER WOOD's MISTRESSES ? So far I have no evidence that the women who are stepping forward (I joke that I shall too!) claiming to have had affairs with the married Tiger, or who claim to be "girlfriends" are - not one of them - actual mistresses. Jaimee Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin ? (Uchitel denies it...)So far the evidence is that Tiger whores around (we suppose secretly) despite having a gorgeous wife. This is not much new when it comes to rich and famous sports celebrities, and nor is the ever faithful wife who knows it or finds out about it and keeps the man. After all she is the MRS. and she doesn't want to raise the children with all those messy visitation problems, and she still wants the prestige of being a famous man's wife - and a share of the community property and his earnings !

HAS TIGER PROVIDED EVEN PARTIAL SUPPORT FOR ANY OF THESE WOMEN?
You know what I mean. A vacation is for the two of you. But a condo or house with your name on the lease? Significant!

Monday, December 7, 2009

DECEMBER 7 1539 MARTIN LUTHER APPROVES OF BIGAMY

Martin Luther, the man who is credited with the religion Lutheranism, and Philipp Melachthon, decided that Philip of Hesse should marry a second wife rather than divorce his first one, thus approving of bigamy.

Friday, November 27, 2009

ZSA ZSA GABOR (and Sisters) Were Not Mistresses?

The Gabor sisters were witty, charming, totally feminine, and famous for having lots of husbands and acquiring wealth. It's impossible to know at this point of any of them were ever mistresses since their attitude seemed to be "I marry all my lovers."

But when it comes to being a courtesan, probably there isn't anyone who did it better than Zsa Zsa who is known to have said "All my my money is my money, and all his money is my money too!"

Sunday, November 22, 2009

MADAME BUTTERFLY




For some mistresses having a man is all about love - even sacrificial love. But when the ordeals of loving someone leave you thinking about suicide, you need a therapist to help! Some mistresses are afraid to have such a confessor. They don't believe what they say will remain confidential.

OK, a mental health professional is supposed to have you turned over to a mental hospital for a 24 hour observation if they know or believe you will hurt yourself or someone else.

BUT WHY GET THIS DESPERATE? There are so many men out there!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

PRINCESS MASAKO PRISONER OF THE CHRYSANTHEMUM THRONE

PRINCESS MASAKA is a Tragic True Story of Japan's Crown Princess. It's C 2006 by Ben Hills.

What's really interesting about this book is the information on how Japan's royal family has sustained itself through the accepted relationship of Emperor with courtesans. Princess Masaka is a highly educated woman (Harvard) who speaks several languages, lived in the United States and Britain as a child of a diplomat and rose to be a diplomat herself. But once Miss Owada accepted the proposal of the Emperor to be, her long time by now husband Naruhito, her life became more constrained than Princess Diana's ever was.

She was stifled and conformed until - it seems - she had a nervous breakdown. The crux of the matter was that her intelligence and all the things that attracted him to her were not of use to her as his wife. Her only role was a diminished one, to bear a son and keep the throne in the family. As a result of what was probably years of infertility treatments, she bore a beloved daughter. But the pressure on her to try again and bear a son went on. And she has thus been criticized terribly by the Japanese. A sister-in-law has had a son who is in line as a male. Divorce has been discussed. Her husband seems to be sticking by her and so he must love her. This couple is just too modern for the highest society of Japan. As Westerners we say SHAME ON JAPAN!

We hate to hear of any woman having her spirit broken because her whole life must revolve around her reproductive ability. However, this is a case where in the past the son of a courtesan would have eased the pressure upon her that broke her.

WILL JAPAN GET WITH IT AND ALLOW A FEMALE TO BE EMPRESS without having to be married?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

LADY OF THE EVENING and LADY OF THE BIG HOUSE

Some Ladies of the Evening end up being the Lady of the Big House, some Ladies of the Evening end up being the Lady of the Little House, some Ladies were never of the Evening at all, well...

Some Prostitutes can upgrade their lifestyle to being Mistresses, but more common is that a Mistress is a woman who is playing the part of Second Wife. Movies be damned, most Prostitutes have a very hard time getting out of their profession physically and psychologically well. Even if they get out of the life, most men have a very hard time coming to terms with their past.

My official attitude: STAY AWAY FROM PROSTITUTION. DON'T GET IN IT, not even as a one time deal for thousands of dollars because you are a beautiful model. If you are in it, GET OUT. This is a time when every penny you spend for a good therapist is worth it! As a prostitute it is very likely you will age quickly, loose your ability to feel from the heart, it's almost all bad news.

Honestly, you have a better chance at loving and being loved working as a maid. And Prostitutes often hate men, hate them from the start or come to hate them. The Hooker with a Heart of Gold is a rare creature. Better to be a GOLD DIGGER!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

MISTRESS OF THE MONTH: ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

Ever hear of the posh private club called Annabel's in London? It was named after Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart who was born to the 8th Marquess of Londonderry and Romaine Combe, who was the daughter of Major Boyce Combe.

Lady Annabel is the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley, the inventor of the club. With Sir James Goldsmith she had Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine. She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life." You can click the London Daily Telegraph review of this book. I read it and I agree I was hoping for more emotion, more intimacy with her readers, but considering the scandal she has lived with, and the fact that she adores her children... well...

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress, but not a very good wife." -Lady Annabel

Sunday, November 1, 2009

HOW TO DRAW FACES

YOUR IMAGE and YOUR IDENTITY?

ARE YOU READY TO REMAKE YOURSELF?

TRANSFORM INTO A CREATURE UNLIKE ANY OTHER?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

THE OTHER WOMAN an ANTHOLOGY : BOOK REPORT BY MISSY

THE OTHER WOMAN

21 Wives, Lovers, and Others Talk About Sex, Deception, Love, and Betrayal


Edited by Victoria Zackheim C 2007 Published by Warner Books



Zackheim rounded up essays from some of America's most talented female authors, and beyond the intimate candor of these mostly personal stories, what I love about this book is the luscious language that rolls off the tongues, swirls out of the pen, and makes it from brain to fingers on the keypad to be delivered to you!

Maybe YOU are the Other Woman?

Pam Houston: "Let's say that in San Francisco the painter had called the relationship with the Other Other (yes two others!) a light bulb relationship. You know, on again, off again."

Dani Shapiro: "I have been living the kind of unbelievable life people glide through in airport novels..."

Nancy Weber: "She knows she must send him home to his wife better than she received him like a borrowed car returned washed and waxed and brimming with high-test gas."

Maxine Rhea Leighton: "You are a schnorrer" my mother screeched repeatedly, using the Yiddish word for cheat or a parasite who takes from others as if it were his own."

Thursday, October 15, 2009

MISTRESS Q and A (From our e-mail or comments)

"Anonymous in Texas" asks : "How can I tell if the man I want to be a mistress to is going to be really generous ?"

Missy: "First of all determine if this man is generous in general. For instance does he give to charity and if so, is it just for the tax deduction or to feature prominently in society, or does he really believe in the cause? If he's the type to believe in a cause, see if he really believes in you.


"Don't outright ask him for money or anything else. See if he responds to a crisis you're having by offering to help. For instance one Mistress reported to me that she knew the man she cared about was generous when her wallet was stolen. He bought her a new wallet and put some cash in it. No not a whole lot but it was symbolic - and he also handed her enough to pay for a cab to get her to the DMV to report her license stolen and get herself a new one ASAP. That's a good sign."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE : HELEN GURLEY BROWN by JENNIFER SCANLON

The book in C 2009 and an Oxford University Press publication... on CAPITALIST BARTER OF SEX FOR MONEY page 170-171




"Browns loyalty to the free market extended beyond the workplace and into the far more intimate arena of sexuality. She viewed women's sexuality in the context of Capitalist exchanges, where those with the money had certain degrees of power and those without tried to negotiate as best they could. For Brown, feminism could improve women's bargaining position, but it would not ultimately take sexuality, any more than it would take 2work, outside of Capitalism's reaches. With Cosmopolitan, Brown would create, market, and further a female sexual marketplace in which both the inequities and the pleasures of a liberated sexuality within Capitalism system would become apparent and open to negotiation. She offered readers articles such as "Never Be Faithful To A Married Man," and "What If?" a piece about what sexual relationships would be like if there was no bartering system in place, "with women trying to get to the highest possible price for their wares (marriage, a continuing annuity) and men working for bargains." The acquisition of sexual freedom for women was, as far as Brown was concerned, tied to the marketplace for better or worse.

"Many critics of Cosmopolitan concluded that Brown's cavalier attitude about women trading sexual favors for dinners or nights out promoted the prostitution of women. Brown herself then fell into line with the most radical of feminists, who were considering the ways in which marriage itself mirrored prostitution. "Many a woman who is married is in a sense a prostitute," she claimed," in that she accepts presents, money, automobiles, country-club memberships, trips to Europe and the good life from a man she can barely tolerate in bed." As for women who accepted things from men they were not married to, Brown wrote, "I feel she's less of a prostitute than the married woman who hates the bed relationship." Brown refused to call her "girl" a prostitute. Her lover was simply, "making her life better," than it was. As Brown saw it, "In a way, we're all prostitute." Helen Gurley Brown's politics was steeped in political and economic understanding of sexuality. steeped in personal observations and experience, and it made many people, including many feminists, uneasy."

Missy here: MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER !

Monday, October 5, 2009

MISTRESS OF THE MONTH COCO CHANEL

A movie from Sony has just come out in the last couple weeks called COCO BEFORE CHANEL. Now People Magazine hates it, and other reviewers like it, so I thought why not just link to the official web site for the movie and let my readers browse it? Chanel lived from 1882 to 1971 and is known for her massive influence on women's fashions, moving us out of those garments that threatened to not just mold our figures but hurt our bones, into comfortable and easy.

There probably isn't any woman whose interviewed for a serious job that hasn't donned at least one Chanel-inspired dress-for-success suit or dress.

Coco wasn't always an extremely demanding mistress of fashion though. She started out a working poor girl - a shop girl - who had a rich lover or two who would not marry her because of the difference in their classes. Having read a book or two on Chanel, since she fell in love, it must have been heartbreaking for her to be refused marriage.

But ever practical, she got the funds she needed to start her own shop.

UPDATE 2020 : Since this original CoCo Chanel post, Coco has become one of the few Mistresses that I've featured TWICE, two months. You can find the posts using the search feature embedded in this Google Blogger, or look through the archives to find those posts.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

VIOLETS FOR THE WIFE ROSES FOR THE MISTRESS

The owner of a flower shop told me that on Fridays the Mexican men were buying violets for their wives, but also roses for their mistresses. Now to me that means, the violets for the sentimental love, but the roses are for the real love of the moment (if not the real love of his life!)

Do all Mexican men have mistresses? Probably not. It takes more than charm to have a mistress - and keep her.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

He's gone home now... So login and read MISTRESS MANIFESTO

What are you going to do now that he's gone on home? Keep in touch with your sisters reading and commenting on MISTRESS MANIFESTO! And remember, we know not all matches are between rich heterosexual married men and younger, beautiful unmarried women...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW of OVER THE HILL AND BETWEEN THE SHEETS

OVER THE HILL AND BETWEEN THE SHEETS
Sex, Love, and Lust, in Middle Age
Edited by Gail Belsky C 2007


I recommends this anthology of first person essays written by middle of the life and elder writers who write convincingly of the changes in their romances, including those who say sex isn't important at all, those who report the effects of later day inventions such as the Pump and Viagra.

But this book brings up a subject that I've been wondering about for some time.

SHOULD PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT THEY DESERVE IN LOVE LOWER simply because of age?


If you get the idea that Missy herself had been so advised, you are RIGHT!

A few months ago a neighbor-friend went on a verbal rampage and said, "At your age, you should be satisfied to be a man's mistress, or to have affairs (sex), without any expectations of marriage."

This man had been married late in life for his generation (in his forties) and had his first child at near fifty. His wife had died suddenly less than a year before and he was clearly devoted to her. He was visiting her grave twice a week and burning memorial candles constantly. I understand. His wife had made a lot of money working for an attorney, way too much to have been the attorney's MAID. Do you understand?

SHOULD PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT THEY DESERVE IN LOVE LOWER simply because of age?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Saturday, September 12, 2009

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Inner Beauty

"I will bring forth my inner beauty."  


Mistresses are often thought to be trading their outer beauty for wealth. But history doesn't prove this to be true. Some mistresses were plain looking, some heavy, and some were not especially intelligent. Yet they had their appeal. Personality - and compatibility - is important! And not all men who have mistresses are actually wealthy. Some are well to do or comfortable. Many mistresses are still providing most of their own support.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

LUCY MERCER MISTRESS OF U.S. PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT)



Lucy Mercer was hired by Franklin Roosevelt's wife Eleanor, to be her personal assistant, and there is no doubt that she had an affair with Franklin, a married man, while she was unmarried herself, and that Eleanor found out about it and was devastated.

But there is no evidence that Lucy was an actual mistress, if your definition of Mistress is a Kept Woman. She went on to marry someone else. And Franklin and Eleanor, however unhappy they might have been in their marriage, whether or not Eleanor had an affair or emotional entanglement with another man or another woman or not, they stayed married. But after the death of her husband, Lucy reentered his life... so perhaps she as his love of his life and he was hers - despite the marriages.

Click on the title above to get to a New York Times article that includes a photo and mentions one of the books about their relationship.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

PEACOCK

With birds it's the males who have to get fancy to attract the females. I think whatever species, a drastic difference in looks between male and female, it's the one at the disadvantage who has to make more of an effort to get noticed.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

SALON ON HELEN GURLEY BROWN, MISTRESSES, and BOOKS

Link here to the Salon article about the book called BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE which is a biography of Helen Gurley Brown, the author of SEX and THE SINGLE GIRL, and long time (our favorite) editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine. (Yes we've ordered it and will report in) Missy

Friday, August 28, 2009

BEING A MISTRESS DOESN'T REQUIRE ADULTRY

Not just talking about legal marriage or living together as the other person's primary relationship. Some Misters are men who don't ever want to marry or are postponing. Still, they don't mind "keeping" a special friend, a lover, or being a very generous boyfriend. And as you know sometimes they still marry someone else - a different "type," but keep their mistress.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

MISTRESS VOCABULARY "LEFT HAND QUEEN"

From the French - are we surprised? A "Left-Hand Queen" is the woman who rules the King and the Kingdom on the left, while his legal wife the Queen rules from the Right.

Monday, August 17, 2009

IT'S (RARELY) ALL ABOUT SEX!

These days, any teenager who can get her hands on a Cosmopolitan Magazine can learn about sex - having and giving pleasure - countless interesting positions. There is so much emphasis on outside appearance and expertise in the bedroom - and so much pressure on young women. But while these things count, when it comes to having and holding any INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP, neither great beauty or great sex (or both great beauty and great sex) can hold a man who is not in love and feels no responsibility towards you.

As a mistress (or mantress - we'll use this term until we can find a better one!) you may remain unmarried (or become his only woman) to your mister because he feels responsibility to his wife and/or children. He may or may not love her or them, or love them in a different way than he loves you. This is why some men only make the break when the children are grown and doing well on their own, which can be a long wait. It's not true that only selfish or irresponsible men turn to other women or that he is "escaping" duty by being with you.

That's why it's a good idea to take a critical look at any relationship you are in. If you are sure that you can make the break when you need to, AND YOU REALLY ARE NOT WAITING for someone to make up their mind to be with you, you may make a great mistress. A great mistress doesn't wait around for a man to commit to her if what she really wants is a marriage. She makes the best of TODAY while keeping an eye to her future...

Friday, August 14, 2009

OOOH LA LA !


They used to wear the corset or a girdle or some other "Foundation" garment that helped form a figure. Today it's nature, exercize, diet, and - if all else fails and you are so inclined - cosmetic surgery - liposuction! But while some men may desire a Mistress because of her attractions that are physical, others simply want someone they can talk to, someone who knows the art of conversation!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009

DOCTOR TONI GRANT'S BOOK - ON BEING A WOMAN

UPDATE NEW YORK TIMES : DR TONI GRANT OBIT  from April 2016

Book to buy : BEING A WOMAN
By Dr. Toni Grant

C 1988 Dr. Toni Grant PhD. Psychologist Inc.




Dr. Toni Grant, the once upon a time pioneer radio psychologist who wrote her landmark book in such ELEGANT PROSE in collaboration with Susan Block, and introduced us sweet young things to TERMINOLOGY like Courtesan, Mother, Madonna, and AMAZONS ! ? !

TONI GRANT: "Life Is Not A Dress Rehearsal"

Toni taught us to Handle Our Hero and Negotiate for Marriage.
While I have no reason to believe that Dr. Toni Grant, who started life out with an expensive Seven Sisters education, has ever been a mistress, understanding men better can serve us all, despite our own marital status.

HAVE YOU EVER CALLED A RADIO SHOW PSYCHOLOGIST?

DID YOU FOLLOW THE ADVICE YOU WERE GIVEN ?

The link under this title is to a recent Los Angeles Times Real Estate article, circa 2009, on her multimillion dollar condo and a little bit about her pioneering.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

A BLOG ON MARRIAGE AND MISTRESSES....

"The wife is like water and the mistress like diamonds. Given a marginal choice between the two, the husband readily sacrifices a little time with the wife for a little more with the mistress. But when the choice is between the total value of the wife and the total value of the mistress, the wife wins." -Dwight R Lee


This man - writer is a professor at Southern Methodist University, and maybe what is remarkable here is that he writes about mistresses - he acknowledges that mistresses exist...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009