LONELINESS WAS AN OLD FRIEND : SARAH RESIGNS FROM THE FIRM AND HER MARRIAGE and IS ENTRAPPED IN SCANDAL

Page 177 : For years I hauled the emotion around as my own furtive burden - the hard gauge of loneliness, after all, is the lack of someone in whom you can confide.  But I was losing control over what feelings I showed and where I showed them.  My private anguish began seeping into my public persona, that flossy shell that was supposed to be all-right-Jack at all times.

Pages 178 -179 : On November 2, 1989, four months pregnant, I arrived in Houston to pay tribute to that city's Grand Opera. I stayed at the home of Lynn Wyatt.  For five days I attended to duty... I also met Steve Wyatt, Lynn's son, and a friend of his named Pricilla Phillips.  We fell to talking -- about the mountains, I think, which they loved as much as I did - and within minutes we seemed like old cronies.  

Steve and Pricilla were less inhibited than the people I knew in London, more open to matters of the spirit; they both meditated which I found intriguing.  When they were around, the darkness lost its power.

Page 197 : For the Merry Wives of Windsor, as the press called Diana and me, 1991 would be a year of unrest.  The two of us were groping in the dark - we were the blind leading the blind out of our Brother's Grimm nightmare.  We had no idea where we were headed, but we knew that we could not sit pat.

Page 202 -203 : The events of annus horriblis were a long time germinating. In May of 1990, I had taken a brief holiday on the Moroccan coast with Pricilla....  I had no way of knowing that an anonymous tipster had called the London tabloid Today and reported that Steve Wyatt was with me in Morocco - an absolute falsehood.... The whole invention was flimsy and ridiculous, a web of fabricated facts" and harmless pictures. ... New Scotland Yard was called into investigate and came up with nothing.  But one police source told the press the obvious - that the photographs might have been planted to embarrass me, "as part of a conspiracy to tarnish her image and destroy her marriage."

Page 205 : At the Palace, I now realized, I had sold myself into a package deal. To be married to Andrew was to be we to The Film, and I had to get out.  No longer could I feign to respect, honor, and obey that institution.  It was one thing to live in a gilded cage; people trade freedom for security all the time.  it was another when they electrified the bars of that cage and aimed their heartless sights your way, as though it were Saturday at Sandringham and you were the prize pheasant.....  On January 21... I told Andrew at dinner that I thought we should separate.  We were both very sad; it was the last thing we had wanted.  But he saw my resignation and did not try to argue: If this will make you happy, then I still stand by you."

Page 207: Nothing had changed.  But everything had changed.  Within days of our trip to Sandringham, I was cut out of the Court Circular.  Engagements were canceled without notice or explanation.  ....  (When Diana was separated from Charles later that year, her calendar was unaffected.)

Page 208: Apparently non gratis throughout the Western World, I  was an absolute nonperson in Buckingham Palace.

***

Sarah had been warned by Andrew that it would be difficult, but as they were separated but not divorced, he still considered her his wife. She had her titles. With two children now, Beatrice and Eugenie, she did move out of  Sunninghill to a rental house called Romeda Lodge knowing her housing allowance would not cover the rent. She had ambitions to turn her Budgie books into more - perhaps film or television.  And when she re-met John Bryan in 1992, who she and Andrew first met in 1990 at a dinner party, she asked him to be her agent. The man was full of fresh ideas. Trusting him, she even gave him power of attorney. It never occurred to her that he might be using her as a passport to a higher social circle where he could sell high-technology investments. It was while on a vacation to St. Tropez, booked under assumed names, that the infamous toe-sucking pictures were taken and they were just joking around at the time. Her daughters were there. It wasn't sexual, she says. Once again there was a possibility that she was set up. She says she believes a photographer and his assistance photographed them for three days, basically spying and waiting for a scandalous photo  She believes The Firm colluded with the press by leaking details of her whereabouts.

***

Sarah, the Duchess of York's book has had an effect on me that I didn't expect.  It strengthens the complaints of Princess Diana about the Firm and frankly the suspicions that Dodi Fayed's father and others have had that the accident that killed Diana was a set up- not that Sarah discusses that but because she reports having a truly horrible time with The Firm. It also strengthens the complaints of Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.

Now, the the other book I've looked at, which I'll review soon, suggests that Fergie had an affair with Steve Wynn and then exchanged him for John Bryan, and that John Bryan was an opportunist. It suggests that Sarah was clever and had these affairs to get back at her husband, who is depicted as a bit hapless in the situation. 

Stay tuned!

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THE WEDDING, THE HONEYMOON, THE REALIZATION THAT THE MARRIAGE ISN'T WORKING

Wedding gifts had come in from around the world and were stored in the Buckingham Palace ballroom.  When Sarah and Andrew married there were 1,800 guess in Westminster Abbey. Her parents had united to throw a dinner dance for the couple.  Sarah Ferguson, called Fergie in the media, wore a coronet of gardenias - his favorite flower - in her hair and a ivory dress that she'd lost twenty-six pounds to fit into by eating mostly meat and oranges. It had a seventeen foot rain. Horses pulled The Glass Coach, she and her father inside, waving to the crows.  A million people lined the one mile route. Sarah Ferguson's new title was Princess Andrew and Duchess of York, as well as Countess of Inverness and Baroness of Killyleagh.  She now outranked Princess Margaret, The Queens's sister, and Princess Anne, The Queen's daughter. Once the marriage books were signed, her flowery coronet was replaced with a diamond tiara .

On the HMS Britannia, the Royal Yacht, with a crew of 276 yet, there was just the two of them aboard. But on the way back from Portugal other members of the Royal Family were let on.  From this point on privacy and time together would be at a minimum.

Within days upon the return home Andrew received an assignment a hundred fifty miles from London.  As a navel wife she could not expect him to be home much.  He would be home on the average forty-two days a years.

Sarah was left to just get on with it.  She felt isolated and full of self doubt.  And she was expected to do royal engagements to represent her new, Royal, family.

Page 115 : "I now shared Andrew's  private secretary, who coordinated our public lives, and his equerry, the number two man, an officer of secondment from the military.  But I worked most directly with my lady-in-waiting, my personal secretary, my dresser, and a lady clerk or two.  Also at my service were two protection officers, the household valet, my chauffeur, and various Palace Butlers and footmen...

Page 116: "I would ultimately collect 15 fluffy formal ball gowns, for state affairs and top-tier dinners; another 25 long dressed for slightly less formal occasions; 40 cocktail dresses; 150 day suits; 60 hats and 200 pairs of shoes.  .... 

Sarah had to change clothes three or four times a day and get quick about it.  Everything, from wardrobe, to food from the kitchen for dinner the next day had to be determined at least the day before.  The was no kitchen in the apartment, no food if she got a midnight urge to eat.

Socially she went everywhere. Sarah soon got her confidence about meeting people and speaking in public, but she felt lonely and alienated. 

Celebrated in the press, Sarah also felt the challenge personally. She attempted to participate in every sport, even if she performed badly.  She wanted to be a 'sport." In her effort to please she decided she would learn to fly a helicopter, just as her husband, Prince Andrew, did. First she learned to fly small fixed winged planes.  Then in 1987 she got her helicopter license.  Would it never be enough? When Sarah went on a rugged expedition in Canada's Northwest Territory that included a two week canoe trip, she wondered what would be. She wanted to spend more time with her husband.

***

Through all this she also experienced pregnancy twice.  By the time she had their first child, Beatrice, Sarah sensed the marriage was in trouble and that the connection she had with Andrew was weakening. She was not given the permission to be a typical navy wife and live near whatever station he was assigned to.  She followed him on a trip to Australia, leaving the baby at home to be cared for by others, and was accused of being a bad mother. People were also tired of Fergie and her hijinks.  Princess Diana's popularity went up while hers went down. That should have been a bit of relief.

***

Page 166 : ... "Less than three years into my marriage, as the monarchy teetered in a new and uncertain time, The Firm would have its scapegoat, its maiden for the pyre.  Always considerate, she had brought her own matches and kindling.... She would be cooked to order."

Page 169 : "The reality was something else.  For I had married the second son, and that made all the difference.  While Andrew received a moderate sum from the Civil List, it went for the cost of official engagements and for staff and office expenses.  As for my husband's personal income, the Royal Navy might provide free room and board and a chance to see the world, but it was no place to make one's fortune. In all our years together, Andrew's income never exceeded $50.000.

***

Sarah went on to detail how she - and Andrew - came to be terribly in debt, partly it was generosity to staff, but also a shopping habit, with much concern about the right clothes, after being considered overly bowed and dumpy in the late 1980's.

Not given enough to pay the bills and told that as a royal she could not work, Sarah rebelled and made a first attempt to earn money. She turned her helicopter piloting experience into to children's books. Budgie the Little Helicopter and Budgie at Bendicks Point came out in 1989. Over time Sarah, Duchess of York earned about half a million dollars from these books.

But as for the marriage, it was not working.

Sarah told Queen Elisabeth and Prince Phillip that she could not cope with the separations from Andrew. Prince Phillip was especially unkind.

Page 175: "And so Andrew and I carried on in our two distant worlds. By 1989 we were sharing less and less, till we lost the stitch of fabric we'd been weaving together..."

Excerpts chosen by me - Missy

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ANDREW SAYS I LOVE YOU : SANDRINGHAM SLAP STICK and QUEEN ELIZABETH APPROVES

Excerpts:   page 82-83

"As Andrew would acknowledge months later, on television, our romance was no "thunderbolt." It was more like a plant with good southern exposure; growing slowly , but thriving by the day.  On occasion I would join him for dinner at the Palace; other times he would park his green Jaguar (protection officer included) outside 40 Lavender Gardens, and we'd dine in my tiny kitchen... At first it was hard to fathom that I was serving baked beans to the Sovereign's second son, but that distanced feeling soon passed.....  We played silly games; we acted like children together.  We liked each other before we loved.

I had dinner with Paddy that autumn and broke it off.  He let me go freely and graciously - it was, I think, what he had hoped would come to pass.  Because he felt that Andrew was a better man for me and that I should be with a younger person, who could give me what I needed.

For New Years Eve (1985) Andrew invited me out to Sandringham, the Queen's private estate in Norfolk.  We were getting serous, all right; a few weeks before, Andrew had asked me to address him by his first name."

(Arriving there, sweating and scared) Page 84:

"Then Andrew staged his sneak attack. As I got out of my car, on that first crisp day of 1986, he said, "I love you." I felt like jumping back in the car and getting out again, because I knew what I wanted to answer but my tongue was knotted, and so I actually screamed.  And when Andrew laughed in response, I just crumbed at the knees.....

My entrance was suitably grand.  No sooner had Andrew brought me a drink than I tripped over the piano leg and sent it splashing over the sofa. Then, as I curtseyed to the Queen, my boyfriends' mother, I kicked one of her dogs. It was a glancing blow, but corgis are a melodramatic breed, and you would have thought the little yapper was bound for the Royal Kennels in the sky..."

(Missy here : I'm laughing out loud!)

Andrew proposed some time after the meeting of the Queen, and then he asked the Queen's  permission to marry Sarah, the commoner.  Sarah was twenty-six years old.  So was Andrew. Sarah gave up her apartment and moved into Buckingham Palace. Though there were 600 rooms in the palace and six of them in Andrew's bachelor quarters became home. It was a large and already decorated apartment with no kitchen. She was chauffeured to work with a protection officer. Meanwhile Andrew was in London for naval officer training and they saw each other frequently. Sarah became the  latest news in the tabloids as well as main stream press. For some time there was nothing she could do wrong. Her spontaneous behavior, even the gaffs, were embraced as just what the Royal Family needed - a breath of fresh air and she was forgiven everything. Soon her husband would be gone most of the time and she would become the newest member of The Firm to make public appearances and speeches.  

I'll continue the story in the next posts!

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DOROTHY KILGALLEN'S AFFAIR WITH JOHNNIE RAY: SHE BIRTHS A THIRD CHILD AND THE FATHER IS NOT LIKELY HER HUSBAND :

 Notes and Excerpts:

Dorothy was competitive by nature and liked to win, so when she became a panelist on the television game show What's My Line, she was respected, if not enjoying a camaraderie with her fellow panelists; their various personalities made the show, which involved guessing the profession (i.e. line of work) of a guest. Her career in reportage continued. In 1953 she covered the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II wearing 'a voluminous gown with more than fourteen thousand embroidered jewels and pearls that were encrusted at the scalloped neckline.  She placed a tiara on her head, put on her white mink cape lined in silver lame, grabbed some pencils, and was off to Westminster Abbey. ... Dorothy's apparent fragility continued to bring out the chivalric in the male animal... (page 238)

(With her husband Richard Kollmar's endeavers in the theater and a restaurant called The Left Bank, he was rarely around. She was tremendously busy too. However, she did not want to be seen socially without a male escort and usually found one.  As for Richard, as he hit middle age, he was rarely totally sober and began to bloat while Dorothy was healthy and energetic. She found other men attractive and had lost respect for her husband. Never the less, the couple bought a five story town house right off Park Avenue, a another upgrade in housing, this one taking most of their income. They had been married fourteen years.)

Excerpt: 'The union that produced their third child was suspiciously identifiable. They were late for a dinner party at the Boscowitzes, offering a flushed and clearly bogus excuse.  Hubie and Lillian giggled at their embarrassment and could pinpoint, years later, the evening Dorothy had conceived. ... He was named Kerry after a county seat in Ireland and Ardan for an Irish warrior who, Dorothy wrote, "was said to have the most beautiful singing voice in all Erin.' (page 253)

'In the early part of 1956, Johnnie Ray appeared on 'What's My Line? as a guest celebrity.  The twenty-nine year old singer, sandy-haired and boyishly lanky, was still headlining in clubs, though the hysteria of the early 1950's had cooled. He remained, however, one of Dorothy's pet-pailletted crushes.  Endsville!' (page 278) 

(After this evening, the two saw each other socially and she started being nice to him in her columns. She was 44 and this was her first affair. They even went to The Left Bank restaurant together but she never joined him when he went on the road to tour.)

'Johnnie did not possess the polish and panache to which Dorothy had gravitated all her life.  He was tender, guileless, show-biz smart but essentially neither intellectual nor verbal... (page 279)

'Johnnie, Johnnie, Johnnie lit up the life she had.  She mentioned him so often and so effusively in the column that he had to tel her to cool it. (page 280)

'She came to Johnnie with staggering emotional and physical appetites  She had not had any sexual relations with Richard for years... (page 283)

'Johnnie was fond of Dorothy and attracted to her, and a bit in awe.  He did not have the macho peer problem that turned so many men off. That she was not regarded by the community as beautiful did not affect his feeling for her or his pride in being seen with her... "She was probably the most feminine woman I've ever known, " Johnny said. "And I always thought she was a pretty lady - the softest thing you ever touched...' (page 283)

'She bought him gifts from Bergdorf's and Cartier including a pair of cuff links with diamonds and sapphires, which he was afraid to wear because of their value.  He sent her lavender roses when he could get them from his little corner florist. "They were almost steel-blue and gorgeous,  I think they were brought in from Holland...  She was as sentimental as a pop tune.  Johnnie was constantly receiving surprise packages... (pages 286-287)

(Some of her friends didn't like him and some dumped her. After some time Dorothy and Johnnie became less discreet. They were excessively together and sometimes openly affectionate.  People thought Dorothy had radically changed.  Johnnie considered himself heterosexual and Dorothy thought of homosexuals as feminine men, which Johnnie was not.)

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CORONATION KING CHARLES III and QUEEN CAMILLA

 

HIS MEHBOOBA WILL SOMEDAY BE QUEEN CONSORT!

Camilla Shand, Camilla Parker-Bowles, Camilla - Duchess of Cornwall.  Not for nothing has she been featured here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO in May 2010 and April 2016 as the most famous Mistress who became a wife in the 20th-21st century!  (Check those months out!)

Recently on Queen Elizabeth II's Platinum Jubilee (70 years on the throne), she made it clear that Prince Charles will become King when she is deceased. No, he will not be punished because he divorced Lady Diana Spencer.  History is history and life must go on.  I'm sure this statement from the Palace was designed to end the rumors that the throne will skip over Charles and go right to his son, heir Prince William. Of course, anything could happen as the Queen is seriously old and Prince Charles is over 70 years old himself.

Prince Charles and Camilla Shand married in 2005 and have been careful to publicly have a wait and see attitude about the throne and what her title will be.

So very many articles came out about the Queen's official statement.  And the statement which appeared in the Daily Mail UK and then other publications showed the statement on official stationery.  Camilla will be called Queen Consort.

Most delightful recently was the reveal that Prince Charles affectionately calls Camilla, Mehbooba, which is an Urdu language word for My Beloved. Camilla, called by Princess Diana 'the third person' in her marriage, is said to be a perfect companion for the Prince, who, in my opinion, could of and should have married her in the first place.  We don't always know it when we meet a soul mate do we?

This article from the Daily Mail also says that she will be wearing one of the most majestic Crowns ever made at the Coronation of Charles.  Wow!

DAILY MAIL : CAMILLA TO WEAR CROWN THAT HOLDS THE KOH NOR DIAMONND

THE ROLE OF A LADY IN WAITING

 WHAT DOES A  "LADY IN WAITING" ACTUALLY DO?

The answer may be "everything." Sometimes called a "maid" I can't promise you if you get a job/role being a Lady In Waiting you won't do some house work, but a Personal Assistant is more like it. Except the at the women who do this work don't get paid.  They are usually from rich families or in rich marriages and of the nobility themselves and don't "need" to work for pay. It's an honor and a tradition. So is paying what's called "room and board" or for travel expenses. Usually a Queen or a Princess (at least the ones who are working) has several. Some of these women travel with the Woman of higher rank or perform certain functions such as attending to public duties while others might be on what's called "a two week rotation" followed by four weeks off, so it's part-time, yet not too flexible. Sure there are perks. Seeing close up the work of the Queen or traveling the world with a Princess can mean seeing history in the making or watching a marriage fall apart.

According to an article in Women and Home, entitled "Who is the Queen's Trusted Lady-In-Waiting And What Exactly Does She Do?" by Laura Harmon, published in April of this year, the Queen, Elizabeth II, has had a trusted Lady-In-Waiting by her side for decades and this woman even attended the funeral of Prince Phillip, the Queen's husband, with the Queen. (We all know how restricted the attendance was for that event.) Her name is Lady Susan Hussey, a Baroness, who first came into the Queen's employ about the time Prince Andrew was born and the Queen needed someone to do the secretarial duty of making out Thank You notes. Lady Susan was made a Dame Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order in 2013 and this is the highest rank personally granted by the sovereign. Just as our Mistress of the Month, Lady Elizabeth Georgiana Alice Cavendish was, for her work for Princess Margaret.

According to Cheatsheet.com, an article called "The Surprising Duties of Royal Family Ladies in Waiting", by Milla Henson, published in May of this year, The Mistress of Robes takes care of the Queens wardrobe - including what tiara she might wear, while the Mistress of the Bedchamber is the Queens Best friend, because she helps her dress, undress, bathe, and get ready for bed. Since the women who work at Waiting are considered friends and worthy of trust, they never retire.

How many of you would like to try this line of work?

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WINDSOR CASTLE - THE OLDEST CASTLE CONTINUALLY OCCUPIED

image from Publicvector.org  vintage public domain

APRIL 9th 2005 THE WEDDING of CAMILLA SHAND and PRINCE CHARLES - THEY WAITED 33 YEARS FOR THIS!

A second marriage for the both of them.  Prince Charles married Princess Diana in 1981.  She died in 1997.  No doubt the opinions of a great many important and influential people, and that of the general public, were taken into account when it came to exactly when the two lovers would be allowed to marry.




The Civil Ceremony - where Charles and Camilla exchanged rings in private.

The announcer says "They waited 33 years for this."  Followed by a Blessing Ceremony at
Saint George's castle.

Charles' mother Queen Elizabeth II, and his father, Prince Phillip did attend, as did his son's Princes William and Henry (Harry).  Camilla's family also attended.

One wonders how it was all planned to be both meaningful and wonderful for the couple, and sensitive to others.

CAMILLA PARKER BOWLES : MISTRESS THEN WIFE OF PRINCE CHARLES : MISTRESS OF THE MONTH

This month we celebrate CAMILLA PARKER BOWLES WINDSOR... Mistress and then wife of Prince Charles of England - and all those other titles.

I was going to wait but the NEWS that Princess Diana's son William may announce his engagement this month to his long time (9 years?) love and well, that Queen Elizabeth, now 83 years old, may start handing over some of her duties to him while keeping her post as Queen, which brings up all the controversies of whether or not she will ever let Prince Charles become King.