LESLIE MCRAY on IMDB HAS A BIO : SHE'S ACCOMPLISHED!

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0574447/bio/   click on the link and keep reading!

Excerpt:  Leslie McRay was born on her mother's fifteenth birthday. She was brought up living in and out of orphanages. Through a series of numerous step-fathers she was eventually brought to Hollywood, California. Having no self-esteem, her mother put her in the local beauty contest and she became "Miss Fullerton". After that win photographers then sponsored her in many other contests in which she was often successful, including "Miss Los Angeles" in the "Miss Universe Contest", "Miss Hawaii in the "Miss World Pageant" and consequently won a trip around the world with "Miss Universe". She ended up in the Philippines and was asked to marry into the Marcos family. 

LESLIE MCRAY BOOK AUTHOR, ACTRESS, ACTIVE FILM PRODUCER : WE REVISIT HER DARK MEMOIR

(First published November 2, 2010, this month we revisit this important book, a memoir of a mistress who had a particularly horrible experience with it.)

LESLIE McRAY was our MISTRESS OF THE MONTH, NOVEMBER 2010

Leslie wrote a book that was published in 1990 called "KEPT WOMEN" subtitle which is now in it's 3rd edition.  She wrote it with Ted Schwartz.

The book is heavily dependent on psychotherapy, and the diagnosis of kept women as being abused children who grow up with a real lack of self esteem and an addiction to the approval of men, usually based on their beauty and sexual prowess.

Yet, I noticed, she said that many of these Mistresses had their own incomes of $30,000 to $100,000 a year. So most of them really didn't need the money, as I see it, and probably had some education or intelligence and the self esteem to be competitive in the work place.

I feel sorry for Leslie that her mistresshood came to what it did and I admire her courage to overcome her past and her own demons to write the book, which does delve into a very dark, scary, aspect of mistressing that some, not all, mistresses experience. This includes sadio-masochism.

Many mistresses apparently "shared and bared" their souls to Leslie, and of course they remain unnamed.

Leslie is also psychology-sure that the whole set up of being kept, by a usually married man, is one in which the man and the mistress are people who cannot keep a commitment (something I personally do not believe is always true either).

Leslie is from a world of beauties who modeled, won contests, and met and were kept by men of international fame. She won something like 70 beauty pageants.

These men who kept Leslie and other women were men with great fortunes - doers - important men. Yet her experience with them was horrible.

She left the mistressing life that caused her so much pain and survived. She is now an active film producer. She has a film on the 9/11 terrorist attack to her credit.

Missy

C 2010-2025  Missy Rapport/Mistress Manifesto All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights

TALKING TILL SUNRISE : DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and SUICIDE and EATING DISORDERS : SOME PHONE NUMBERS FOR YOU IF YOU NEED THEM!

This month's posts have reminded me that Domestic Violence is not restricted to the poor, as is stereotyped, and that Suicide is not the way to solve emotional and psychological pain.  I want you, my readers, to be as healthy in body and mind as one can be. So I'm going to offer a couple phone numbers that may be the first step to improving your life if you are suffering. Though I don't personally deal with Domestic Violence and have never been Suicidal, friends of mine have been. I'm not making light of these issues at all.

Yes, I've talked on the phone for many hours with a friend who was depressed and in therapy and mostly it was all over a man, a man who was actually a good man but simply working on his PhD. and had little time for women in general, but was just not that interested in her. They were not having an affair. Not yet, anyway. She was obsessed with him and had developed quite a fantasy about what might happen in their relationship simply because they went for coffee and held hands on a walk. I stayed on the phone with her - long distance - until the sun rose and she could call her therapist for an emergency appointment.

We live and learn. All these years later, I have more knowledge and experience, and think I would probably deal with women friends who were in relationships that would never make them happy a bit differently. I never played therapist and suggesting therapy to another person took a long time for me to do. I still think that having a confidant or two is important and that loyalty and faithfulness in friendships is so important. However, sometimes as a close personal friend it takes you a while to realize that your friend who is in such pain needs someone to talk to who has a professional perspective.

I recently met a young woman who told me that talking about your personal life or problems to strangers made it obvious to her that a person needed to be in therapy. I do not agree with that. Sometimes disclosure and sharing are exactly how people bond and find out they have some things in common. (I also found out later that this particular young woman had serious problems such as drug addiction, a petty criminal record, and so on, so she was intensely in to therapy.) No, a therapist is not a friend!  They are paid professionals with education and experience in the field of psychology. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can prescribe medications. Usually a person sees a therapist first.  (And if you're in therapy and it's not helping, you may need to switch to a different one.) With a friend I'm not able to be objective like a professional might be.

Understanding what is or is not abuse or violence is important just as understanding what is or is not depression rather than just a bad mood or sadness.  

If you find yourself in a relationship or circumstances like Maria Callas did, well, this is 2024 and you don't have to be tortured like Maria. 

988 is the designated number to go right to SUICIDE PREVENTION and CRISIS HOTLINE - and you can SMS (text) with them too. The previous 988 Lifeline phone number 800-273-8255 will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.

https://988lifeline.org/current-events/the-lifeline-and-988/

And then there's the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 

800-799-7233  SMS: (Text) BEGIN to 88788

https://www.thehotline.org/

I suspect that Maria Callas had an eating disorder.

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders (ANAD): The Helpline 888-375-7767 is open Monday to Friday.

Missy

MARIA CALLAS: NO PURPOSE IN LIFE - CODEPENDENT - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE : AND THE THREAT OF JACQUELINE BOUVIER KENNEDY

In Italy, Maria Callas' marriage remained valid, making it impossible for her to marry Aristotle Onassis, despite their purposeful but "jokey" lies to the press. Both had the Greek Orthodox church in their heritage and her marriage to Giovanni Battista Meneghini was not recognized by that church, but no matter. At forty-two years old, Maria was without a purpose in her life. She had given up singing. And she gave up her American citizenship and regained her Greek citizenship thinking that might further her desire to legally divorce. Living on the Greek island he owned, Scorpios, Maria could not hide the reality of their failing relationship from staff, Yet on that island, she felt she could hide from the world. Swiss cosmetic treatments did nothing to help Maria have Aristotle exclusively. Her desperation to have him was not attractive and on Scorpios he gave her a beating so bad she feared for her life.

Maria Callas kept forgiving and making excuses for Aristotle Onassis' behavior. Aristo was not in good physical condition, which worried Maria, and he was also abusing sleeping pills, drinking heavily, and giving himself steroids and taking other medications that he thought would improve his virility. Having overdosed herself in suicide attempts, Aristo's alcohol, cigarettes, and all the rest gave reason for her worry.

 

By the summer of 1966, Maria knew the relationship was ending. Aristo was still feuding with Ranier III over Monaco but also part of the Paris social scene. Onassis did not regard her or treat her as if she were his wife but as a courtesan. He felt no obligation towards her and wanted her to be independent of him. The press reported that they had split. In Venice, Italy, on the beaches of Spain, and on the ship, the Christina, she was no longer at his side. He might have purchased an apartment for her in Paris, though to save face she said she had bought it herself, but Ari hosted a dinner for Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy in that city.  No other woman, from long ago or the near past was a bigger rival to Maria than Jackie. No doubt Maria lived around Aristo and for Aristo, but why didn't he set her free?

That is my question. Why was he so sadistic and mean that he wanted to break the will of one of the most talented and well known women in the world, while he pursued another?  He could be overly affectionate of Maria in public and then abandon her to visit with Jackie.  Maybe his judgement was clouded by lust but he proposed marriage to Jackie, negotiated with her brother-in-law Ted Kennedy for a financial settlement upfront; Aristo suggesting $3 million, she suggesting $20 million. He married Jackie.

Meanwhile Maria left for Las Vegas, where she overdosed. Then to Mexico, where she overdosed again. Maria Callas was falling apart psychologically, emotionally, and physically.

Onassis told Jackie he would protect her. To others he claimed to be behind the assassination of President John F. Kennedy's brother Robert Kennedy.  Author Lyndsy Spence writes that Jackie was romantically involved with Robert at one time after the assassination. Onassis had been romantically involved with her sister, then Princess Lee Radzwill. The twists and turns of the involvements of these strong personalities is truly a Greek drama or perhaps the plot of a tragic opera. 

We see that exquisite pain is not reserved for the poor.

Missy

C 2024 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot   All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

You may find other posts by searching for Onassis or Kennedy in the Google Blogger search feature!

GEORGIE ZIADIE BECOMES LADY COLIN CAMPBELL and SOON LIVES TO REGRET IT : SHE BECOMES A CELEBRATED AUTHOR OF BOOKS ABOUT THE ROYALS and UPPER CLASS

These are my notes selected to further her story from her memoir, Daughter of Narcissus, the prime reference for his month's posts. 

As a young woman who was a fashion aficionado and designer and had lived in Jamaica growing up, Miami for fashion school, and New York, where she had sold some of her designs and earned income, Georgie Ziadie was expecting she would marry before the age of twenty-five.  After successful surgery to correct a birth defect that had caused her parents to raise her as a boy, she was swept away by suitors who were interested in marrying her.  However, she met Lord Colin Campbell because she was close friends with his sister.  There were hints that there was a "darker side" to members of his family but she met him and married him rapidly, only to soon learn that he was not interested in keeping up his side of the relationship and that included a reluctance or inability to earn income.  Although she had grown up witnessing and subjected to her parent's abuse, she failed to realize that she had married without knowing enough about the man.  He was alcoholic and using drugs - probably to self medicate mental illness.  He soon became physically violent, spewing hatred of all women. He bashed her face in.  After corrective surgery he said he would never hit her beautiful face again.  Instead he battered her body.  After one extreme beating even her father who believed in staying in marriage thought it was time she leave hers.

Like many persons who are subjected to Domestic Violence, a cycle of apology, retreat, and then another episode drove the new Lady Colin Campbell to reality. She wanted out of the marriage.  The divorce was fraught with abuse as well, and this involved his lawyer(s) and certain of his family, members of the British peerage. Perhaps she would like the world to know she had been born intersex and had surgery to corrected the birth defect?  Would everyone like to know how she peed?

She kept the name thinking it would only be a year or two before she remarried.  She had boyfriends but was wary and it was never meant to be.  After leaving the fashion world behind and participating in charity fund raising she turned to writing.  Eventually after writing several books, she earned enough income to consider adopting children.  From Russia she adopted two boys - not twins genetically but close in age - who she managed to raise without repeating the horrors that she grew up experiencing. 

Let me say that I found the book I have excerpted from riveting and have gained respect fort this woman. When I listen to her broadcasts via her YouTube station, I do so with new appreciation for her. She purchased Castle Goring and lives there as well as in London.

Below are some of many books she has written: 

Her latest about Meghan and Harry.

The book that made her famous as an author. With her earnings she realized she could afford to have her own family through adoption and became a single mother of two boys.

Lady Colin Campbell gains her information from others who know the inside stories of the royals and peerage and members of international high society.

This one was based on a real person, who so identified with the main character that law suits were threatened... Eventually Lady Colin Campbell prevailed.

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GEORGIE ZIADIE BECOMES A WOMAN AND BEGINS TO UNDERSTAND HER MENTALLY ILL PARENTS

Lady Colin Campbell takes the name she received upon her marriage, a brief marriage. As a young woman known as Georgie she had an ordeal to match her body with her female gender which would require surgery.  These are my notes selected to further her story from her memoir, Daughter of Narcissus, the prime reference for his month's posts. 

In May on 1968, Georgie had been cleared as psychologically well enough to consider surgery to correct her intersex condition and be a woman by gender. At the time there was intense pressure of young women to marry well before the age of twenty-five. Both of her parents were hostile towards her. In 1969 her narcissist mother denied that she had ever made the promise to her that she and her father would consent to surgery. Georgie however went to fashion school in Miami and had begun to sell some of the clothing she designed in New York. She needed $5000 for the surgery and attempted to earn it. But surprisingly she learned that her grandmother, Maisie, her mother's mother, had never known of her condition and, while visiting Jamaica, offered to pay for the surgery! She needed her vagina to be reconstructed and her clitoris reduced in size. Her parents offered to pay for it as suddenly and wanted her to forget her New York doctor and go to a Jamaican doctor instead. She had the surgery in New York with contributions from family and it turned out to be not as long a surgery as expected. Her mother bought herself jewelry with the money contributed in excess of the surgery costs rather than give it back to donors. Georgie had the surgery without family there but anorexia was another consideration and the doctors demanded that a parent come to New York. Her mother did, under duress, and then kept the medical paperwork needed to actually change her ID to female.  Eventually the redone birth certificate was done.

The other aspect of this change was that the upper classes in Jamaica were stunned to see a beautiful twenty-one year old woman rather than a young man in their midst, fashionable and a model. Her mother decided to tell the story her way, starring herself and all her suffering, blaming her husband for delays, and exaggerating all that Georgie had been through as well. Georgie chose to be straight-forward when asked but did not want to become news. It was time to let a suitable husband from the island's elite find her. But her mother was jealous of the attention she was getting and her beauty and an incident occurred in which Gloria, her mother, stabbed Georgie's cheek with a lit cigarette. In response she began battering her mother. I was 1972 and her mother would die without ever apologizing.  No chance of closeness, Georgie was through with trying or believing it would ever get better.

Georgie slowly became more aware that her parents were mentally ill and suffered from personality disorders for which they would not seek help.  She came to understand they were a mismatched couple dedicated to preserving the marriage but that the terms and conditions of marriage for women of their class could be especially difficult.

She came to understand that as Narcissists they were incapable of true care and concern for their children. Eventually accepting what they were and were not allowed her to deal with them with the distance she needed to keep to further be abused by them.

But psychology and psychiatry was not then what they are today today.  Georgie Ziadie was expected to marry early and well before the age of twenty five. Her beauty and status as a person of the British Jamaica colony attracted many a like-minded suitor who was prepared to marry, but the man she did marry proved to be exactly like her parents - and worse. She had to come to terms with the effects her parents abuse had on her without the acknowledgment we have today of Domestic Violence.

C 2024 Commentary  Book Review-Report

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THE ECCENTRIC and HIGHLY OPINIONATED LADY COLIN CAMPBELL (GEORGIE ZIADIE) : MISTRESSES WERE UNDERSTOOD A CERTAIN WAY

LADY COLIN CAMPBELL

(Georgia Arianna Ziadie)

Hello!

I know my followers are wondering why I'm featuring British-Jamaican aristocrat and BabyBoomer Lady Colin Campbell here at Mistress Manifesto.  I admit at first thought it's a stretch but hear me out. No, I do not think she has been a Mistress. Yes, I think she has some important things to say.  In fact I have arrived at respect for this eccentric and highly opinionated - and rational - woman. 

One of the purposes of this blog is to explore the real lives of past and recent Mistresses - Kept People - Courtesans - an Alternative Lifestyle that may no longer depend on women not being allowed to be educated or unable to financially support themselves another way. This lifestyle no longer depends on adultery for its definition. Nor is it always a heterosexual relationship. No, while we use the term Mantress with fragility, we also realize that men, both gay and straight are experiencing being Kept, even when gay marriage is legal. Sometimes a Mistress (or Mantress) of 2024 is supporting themselves but accepts "help" of some sort from her or his person rather than be the Classic Mistress who is entirely supported financially - sometimes very well - by  a man. We also know that a person who has become a Mistress can also be transgender.  

Lately, as it seems that Democrats and Republicans take opposite sides to the question of medical and psychiatric treatment of children who believe themselves to be born into the body of the wrong gender, we tend to think that this is a modern issue. Well, Georgie was born intersex and the decision was made to raise her as a boy which she was until the early 1960's. She felt she was a girl and the issue emerged again as she went through puberty.  

And her dad - her uncle - and other men like them - had a mistress.  And her mother knew it but accepted it.

I was following the Duke and Duchess of Sussex controversy and drama. I noticed that among those with strong opinions about them was Lady Colin Campbell, born George William Ziadie, eventually changed to Georgia Arianna Ziadie, and is called Georgie or Lady C.  She has a distinct way of speaking,  forthright, creative with words, detail oriented and thought provoking. It's fair to say that she does not think well of the Sussexes. Though I do sometimes listen to BBC as well as some of the more tabloidish publications and broadcasts on YouTube, Lady Colin Campbell is an especially fascinating character herself. She is not only considered one of many "royal experts" and the guest on various televised programs but runs her own YouTube station.  (The link to it is below.) She says that she gets her information from people she is connected to within the aristocracy. 

When I discovered that she was a book author noted for the book The Real Diana, a 1992 New York Times Best Seller List title, that was the first to reveal Diana's unhappy marriage, I searched my Hoopla subscription for her books. I discovered Daughter of Narcissus, a memoir that focused on her childhood as part of the British elite of the island of Jamaica, which has much to reveal about what race relations were there. Perhaps when it comes to the question of the British Royal Family being racist, she might know quite a bit about racism having been raised on an island where white people and people of color most often had employer-employee relationships.

Lady Colin Campbell's memoir proved to be a powerful, can't put it down read.  I cancelled plans to keep reading.

She was raised by abusive parents who were not challenged by other family members or those in their employ. She knew her father and his brother and men of their status were what we call today predators, sexual harassers, even rapists, outside the immediate family. Inside it, as she and her three siblings were being raised to adulthood, there was tremendous physical and psychological abuse. Her mother was what we would call today a Malignant Narcissus, lacking empathy, plotting, attention seeking, turning every story around so that they could be the star. Her father went into rages - beating servants - breaking doors down.  Both parents were excessively concerned with their public reputation.

As I will reveal in excerpting this book, the primary reference for this month's posts, Lady Colin Campbell's father likely had a mistress named Mrs. Powell, and, well, Lady Colin Campbell liked her. In fact, Lady Colin Campbell thought that the mistress, a much-younger-than-her father employee she calls Mrs. Powel, may have provided a respite from his marriage and a sense of actual civilization to the errant Michael Ziadie.

Her mother's personality disorder damaged everyone's lives. Her father was an older man with a personality disorder himself who allowed his wife to be treacherously abusive and was cooperatively and independently abusive himself. Lady Campbell was raised in a family in which she and her siblings were unfairly and cruelly punished by parents who gave one impression as members of high society and a drastically different one where matters were considered to be private. I suspect that as the girl Georgie, being raised as a boy, was already invested in getting to the truth of every situation. Since divorce was not generally considered an option, her parents settled into their dangerous domesticity. Lady Colin Campbell, while advantaged materially, is a survivor of much.

One review of this book from Goodreads was: "Daughter of Narcissus is a stunning analysis by the author of the serious personality disorder of narcissism through her own dysfunctional family, positioned at the heart of international society from the middle of the 20th century to present day. Dr Anna Brocklebank considers it one of the most significant and inspiring books ever written on the subject of narcissism and believes it should become a medical reference book as well as a popular best seller."

If you are the child of a parent or parents who were so mentally ill that they took it out on you, this book may be a must-read.  (And if you realize you are abusing your own children, or you're letting your partner or their parent do so, I beg you to have courage and get psychological treatment first for yourself.) 

Now, before we begin this month dedicated to her, I want to mention more fascinating things about Lady Colin Campbell.

Born in 1949, she is now in her 70's. Lord Colin Ivar Campbell, her now longtime ex-husband, was a son of the eleventh Duke of Argyll. Lord Colin Campbell has said he wishes she would stop using her name - which is unlikely. Well, she obtained it fairy, through marriage, even if their marriage was brief, and either way she was born into the aristocracy. They married after knowing each other only five days but it took months before they started divorce.  She had met him because she was great friends with his sister. He too was severely abusive, even bashing her face in requiring corrective surgery, and then focusing on her body. He was an alcoholic and addict and mentally ill. He took from her financially. He and his lawyers - his family - threatened to ruin her reputation and more thoroughly out her as having been born intersex.  Lady Campbell kept the name thinking she would remarry in a year or two, for she was quite a young woman when she divorced, but that never happened.  She had boyfriends but was hesitant because of all the abuse.  Fortyish with a best seller that earned money and some independent income, she decided what she lacked was her own family. She adopted two sons from Russia and raised them. (The boys are not biological twins as has been reported elsewhere,)

The story of her understanding of her birth defect and resulting gender issues and the horrors she went through with her parents and doctors is something anyone who is interested in today's issues of transgenderism needs to read. The decision that she be raised as a son had been made at her birth and until she reached puberty it seemed as if her siblings and other relatives in the know and the doctors were accepting of that decision but she was considered an effeminate boy. She was given hormones to masculinize her as well as shock treatments circa 1963. She felt that her mother in particular had set her up to be her lifelong companion rather than correct her gender so that she couldn't marry: She references instances in British Royal Family that may have been the same issue.  By 1967 she was threatening suicide if her parents did not allow her to correct her gender to female and was being promised treatment in the United States.

Trouble with teenage classmates lead her to skipping school and applying to Fashion Institute in New York before the age of 18, not only because she loved fashion but to escape. Her father wanted her to stay home as company to her mother. He warned her that no one would want to marry her siblings when they found out that their sister was a "freak." They were selfishly emotionally blackmailing her. 

Being a woman who did want to earn her own living, but also compelled by socio-economic and class considerations unique to her status at birth and sexism in general, she worked in fashion for a while, but turned to writing.  Now she is a commentator. 

Are you ready for the excerpts from her book that focus on the attitude towards mistresses - and the husbands who didn't consider sexuality outside of their inescapable marriages to be anything worth divorcing over? Not even the cruelty of a mother to her children?  Well, consider yourself a member of my unofficial womens study college class here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot!

Missy

C 2024 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights. 

Here's the link to her YouTube Station! https://www.youtube.com/@LadyColinCampbellYouTube

CASSANDRA PETERSON ON THE SEXUAL ASSAULT SHE EXPERIENCED BY A CELEBRITY BASKETBALL SPORTS FIGURE

In perhaps the most horrific passage in her book, 'Yours Cuelly, Elvira' is the sexual assault that Cassandra experienced. To comply with the Google requirements for no sexual explicity, I have not changed any words below, but I have stopped at the ...

Excerpt:

"The other episode involved my friend "Unce Wilty' who I'd run into once or twice at the Playboy mansion since moving back to L.A.

In Las Vegas, whenever Wilt was in town, he and Sunny frequently slept over at the house I shared with her and our other roommates, and spent a lot of time hanging around the pool.  I got to know him and liked him a lot. He was flirty, although always respectful, but he did have a big ego to go along with his big body and big career. He was smart, interesting, and funny, and damn was he big. He towered over us at seven-one. We took a picture together by our pool one time and in it I look like a munchkin, only coming up a little above his waist. It was crazy how big he was - not just tall like his friend Lou Alcinder (aka Kareem Abdul-Jabber) who I'd met with him on a couple occasions, but huge, weighing in at 300 pounds. My entire outstretched hand just fit into his palm.

Wilt had always flirted and kidded around with me, but he was never pushy or rude. He was rich, good looking, and famous, so he had girls coming out of the woodwork. He hardly needed to force himself on anyone like me. I was somehow always able to deflect his advances by joking around, and he'd always laugh and slough it off. I'd known him for so long, I trusted him and felt comfortable around him.  ...

The third time I went to his house for a party, my friend bailed on me at the last minute, so I went alone. An hour or so into the party, he asked if I had seen the closet he'd built for his basketball jerseys from the various teams he'd played with over the years. As I shook my head no, he led me through his bedroom and into his closet, which was roughly the size of my single apartment.  I stood marveling at the rows of size fifteen shoes while he pulled jerseys off the rack  - the Philadelphia Warriors,  the Harlem Globetrotters, the L.A. Lakers - and laid them out on the center island for me to see.  "Wow!", I gasped, trying to look impressed even though I didn't know a thing about basketball. Suddenly, with no warning, he grabbed me from behind, gripped my neck with one gigantic hand, and shoved his sweatpants down with the other. ...

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked.

I didn't respond. My face burned with anger and humiliation as he chuckled to himself on his way out of the closet. It all happened so fast I was still in shock. Trembling, I made sure he was gone, then ran into his bathroom, locked the door, and puked into his giant-sized toilet. ...

***

She never heard from this predatory narcissist "friend" again.  He knew what he was doing. This is the story of a man who a woman had known for some time, at least to the point where he had been welcome in her home and she his. And of a celebrity who bragged about having sex with thousands of women. One wonders how many of these women were raped. Cassandra said who would believe an out of work actress and ex stripper. I wish it were "Who would believe an outsized sports figure."

Well, I believe her.

What is the answer here? To never flirt? To never be friendly? To never go to a party? To never trust a man who is a friend? 

****

Please note that I listened to this book as an audio book in which Cassandra Petersen herself reads, and then I got the e-book. My download shows page numbers 252-254 which depends on the size of text one chooses. I do hope you'll want to read this book, just as I hope I've lead you to other books that are worthy of your time reading!  

Missy

CASSANDRA PETERSON WAS RAPED BY A MAN SHE INVITED IN FOR A DRINK

In Chapter 15 of Cassandra Peterson's book, 'Yours Cruelly, Elvira', she reveals that she was raped. The first rape she reports in this chapter happened after she invited a man who she'd met at a club and had a conversation with back to her place for drinks.  I know that some men do think that such an invitation is considered as an invitation to have sex, or to at less mess around a little. Such stories make us women far less likely to invite men on dates.

However, I think we women have to educate men - all men - including our brothers and platonic male friends, what rape is. I agree with Cassandra that even if things are far along, if a woman says stop, a man should comply. There are very many reasons why a woman may want to stop, from concern over contraception to not feeling well to sobering up to - very many reasons.  

In this case the man was a rapist. The classic rapist.  There is no confusion about it.

When she suggested they get together another evening, before much had happened, he was angry.  He threw her to the floor, he balled up his fist and asked her if she wanted her teeth knocked down her throat. He threatened her that he knew where to find her and that she was not to tell.  There are times when I do hope there is eternal hell rapists. They are rarely one time offenders. Such men rape and rape again. They hate women. Rape is violence. They love that they are destroying a woman's health, reputation, and sanity.

Cassandra says she knew people would think she had asked for it by inviting him in. Also, she was aware that as an ex showgirl and because of her sexy Elvira character, she was less likely to be believed if she did report the rape.

***

Please note that I listened to this book as an audio book in which Cassandra Petersen herself reads, and then I got the e-book. My download shows page numbers 251-252 for which I took notes.

A WHOLE NEW LIFE FOR ALICE IF ONLY RAYMOND WOULD MARRY HER

Alice Silverhorne and Frederick de Janze had married as Catholics.  Despite her affairs, they were still married.

By 1926, Alice de Janze had a new life in Africa, a new house in Africa, new friends in Africa, and she was free of her family in America, but she was not yet free of her husband. She and Raymond de Trafford were understood to be a couple in their set but marriage?

Once again, as was the case with the French noble de Janzes, this rich American heiress was considered to be not quite good enough, below the status of the English de Traffords, due to her American New Money heritage. But also, importantly, they did not like that she was married and it would mean a divorce in order for her to be free to marry again.  A Catholic annulment (the alternative to divorce) was a long process. Pressured by his family to move on from an American with two children who was not even raising them herself, threatened to be totally disinherited himself and shunned out of his family, Raymond broke with Alice on March 25,1927. They had been together less than a year.

Alice was outraged. She pointed out that she had money. She suggested that she was not so religious that she would go through the annulment process. The situation was embarrassing for her.

Even Frederick went to Raymond and told him he should marry Alice, still his wife!  

Raymond showed back up and told Alice he would not marry her. She tried everything. Begging. Reason.  Argument.  Seduction. The man was not budging.  He told her that he would have no income if not for his family and he had no intention of being kept!

(This was on page 92 of the book The Temptress by Paul Spicer and as I read I thought, a ha!  Here we have the term Kept used for a married man whose wife has the money!  You see!)

C 2022 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights

NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE

NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE 

800-799-7233

I've run this number before and to honor Gabby Petito. the young woman who may have been murdered while in a relationship that included Domestic Violence, I'm running it again. 

You might also want to click on tabs below and see where else in this blog I've blogged about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  You might want to read about Bernie Tiedi, for instance. 

You can call this number out of concern for someone else as well and they promise the person you talk to will not be judgmental.

This blog stands for CHOICE which can sometimes be a Privilege. 

I think just about anyone can find themselves in a relationship that becomes abusive, sometimes from the start, sometimes over many years.  Not everyone who is in a relationship that has abuse in it realizes it right away.  Notions such as that abuse is always physical may prevent a person from realizing that they are in an abusive relationship.  Abuse can go both ways as well and is not always men abusing women. 

Sometimes something as simple as couple's counseling can make a big difference.  It may help to be in a therapist's office where both people can speak their truth. 

Sometimes a person may need to be clever in order to get out of an abusive situation. 

Covid shut downs put pressure on some relationships as has the overall economic situation in the United States and other countries.

Check in with yourself frequently and ask yourself how you feel about other people in your life.

Recently I've been watching YouTube videos about Narcissism. I've learned that several people who I had in my friendship circle through the years have this personality disorder.

If you grew up as an abused child, you may think abuse in an adult relationship is normal and not a problem.  

I'm often asked if Mistresses are all in relationships that are abusive.  My answer is no, not all. You do not have to be a person with a deficit in self esteem to be Kept or in a relationship that cannot move towards legal marriage.  Ideally everyone involved is honest with themselves and others so that adult decisions can be made. Marriage is not for everyone, nor is monogamy, and many people have more than one person to love at a time in their lives, though the pressure to conform to societal expectations can drive people to keep a secret of a relationship.  

Remember that it's common to idealize another person when in the first stage of a relationship. Eventually we must decide if we want to continue with a person who does not meet our expectations. How realistic are our expectations?  That answer may be very different based on a number of factors such as your age, employment and education, and history of relationships.

If you know or suspect your relationship is harming you in some way, try to get more information.

If you arrived at this site by cell phone or home computer, you may want to erase the history so that someone else who can have access to your phone or computer does not know you have this number. Write down the number and keep it elsewhere. I know phone booths are rare but there may be other places that you can make phone calls out without being tracked.

LOVING THE ONE YOU'RE WITH INCLUDES LOVING YOURSELF.

Missy

POLARIS - NATIONAL HOTLINE - ASK FOR HELP or REPORT A POTENTIAL CASE OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING

POLARIS IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND AND DISRUPT SEX TRAFFICKING NETWORKS.

POLARIS PROJECT ORG 

Here are some myths: That it's always a violent crime. (Though I tend to think what happens to the enslaved person is a violence.) That all human trafficking involves commercial sex. (It can be other forms of slave labor.) THAT TRAFFICKERS TARGET VICTIMS THEY DON'T KNOW. (In other words the trafficer does know the person intended to be enslaved.)

TO GET HELP, REPORT A TIP ABOUT A POTENTIAL CASE OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING, FIND SERVICE REFERRALS FOR VICTIMS OF TRAFFICKING, OR REQUEST TRAINING OR TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE link here.

THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL HUMAN TRAFFICKING HOTLINE

888-373-7888

Or TEXT "BeFree" (233733) via live chat or email.  

Services are available toll free 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

BIKERS AGAINST TRAFFICKING

BIKERS AGAINST TRAFFICKING 

In the United States call 407-300-8971

Started by a couple in Florida, now with international reach, BIKERS AGAINST TRAFFICKING began operating in 2016.   EVERY THIRTY SECONDS SOMEONE BECOMES A NEW VICTIM OF TRAFFICKING.

EXCERPT:  We help extricate those stuck in the life, we provide counseling - help- resources and are in the process of raising money to provide housing for those who have survived.  We also have a specialized part of BAT that works behind the scenes to eliminate the demand side.

Modern day slavery, or human trafficking exists whenever people are bought and sold for forced labor, organs, forced marriage, and commercial sex.

Missy here : Note that the definition of slavery is not only about sex trafficking. My understanding is that many of the people who pick our crops are enslaved. In some places, a person might be forced to have surgery to remove one or more of their organs to be sold, and forced marriage is part of some cultures...

I like that the stereotype of bikers is totally busted by these people.

Please understand that slaves are moved around and sold at big gatherings such as biker meet ups. Bikers Against Trafficking people are a presence at meets. That's terrific!

SEX TRAFFICKING : MORE PEOPLE ARE SEX TRAFFICKED TODAY THEN THERE WERE EVER AFRICAN SLAVES IN AMERICA

Remember when you were a girl? Pubescent? A teenager?  

Innocent. Having crushes. Dreams of romance. Poetry. Love Letters. Diaries. The boy across the classroom. Exchanging glances. Exchanging notes. The Valentines. First love. The hopes and wishes for True Love Forever.

This month I'm featuring a special subject, SEX TRAFFICKING, a form of slavery.  I want my readers to know about this scourge of abuse that is often perpetrated on people below the age of consent, which is 18. Even 14 year olds living with their parents can be trafficked. I'm writing this post having read, listened, and watched on this subject until I felt sick. This month's writing has been the most emotionally draining I've ever experienced as the author of MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT.

I want everyone to have CHOICES and to give consent that is informed with self knowledge and truth. I know sometimes as adults we make choices that are unconventional. Slavery, be it as a laborer or as a prostitute, is as far from choice as you can get.  

Although some women are involved in luring others into slavery, the evil opportunist and user of slaves is usually a man. And there would be no market for human beings to be used in horrible ways, if it were not for mostly men customers. So I have to say it, sometimes I hate men.

Thankfully, there are men's groups who are opposing trafficking.  Because of them, and because we all know good people, we know, no not all men are like this. 

Actually, we need to stop saying and thinking, "All men are alike."

The ideas that all men are beasts without self control, that men must have sex or they will rape, and the hatred behind the abuse of women, must stop.***

And yes, it starts with us being part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

I will be posting links to HELP and I encourage you to do some research as well and find the people and organizations local to you.

Did you know that CALIFORNIA, because of its ethnic diversity, its airports and transportation systems, and it's population, is a prime destination for traffickers to take a child to work, and even to be SOLD and taken to other countries?  Did you know traffickers use DISNEYLAND as a perfect place to pass around children?

I want all my readers who want this abominable criminality to stop to donate to at least one of the organizations I'm profiling this month. I want you to talk to the children you care for and about. I want you to talk to your teens. I want you teachers to get programs going in your schools - have someone come out and talk to your class.

And I want everyone to light a candle - in memory of someone who is being sex trafficked. The people who are turned into slaves won't last long.  It's estimated that most die within 7 years.

This month is my effort to speak up.

Missy

*** Added note April 25, 2021  Keep reading as I will be posting about men and boys being trafficked.

C 2021 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot All Rights Reserved.

Sex trafficking is an international disgrace. 

ONE MAN IN NINE IS SEVERELY and VIOLENTLY ABUSED BY A DOMESTIC PARTNER

NCADV a GRASSROOTS ADVOCACY FOR ABUSED PEOPLE

EXCERPT: One in Nine men experience severe intimate partner physical violent, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and /or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases....

OK - the stats on this site are frightening.

Learn more by visiting it. 

MEN VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SEEK HELP TOO LATE

REUTERS : MALE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SEEK HELP TOO LATE

EXCERPT:  Along with fearing they wouldn't be believed or would be seen as weak, men often stayed in abusive relationships because they felt committed to or concerned about their partners.  In other cases, they were too depressed, despondent, or traumatized to gather the strength to leave. ... Furthermore, victims were often unaware that services for them existed.  And when they did know about interventions, they didn't believe the interventions were likely to be helpful.  Some of the findings suggest that separate services are needed for men.  Portraying domestic violence services as a space for women survivors can be a barrier to help-seeking by men, the authors point out. 


***

Missy here.
I wonder how many men who are abused by their wives or girlfriends respond to it by seeking a romance elsewhere. 

ANGEL FLIGHT WEST : VOLUNTEER PILOTS FLY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVORS TO RELOCATION DESTINATION FREE

ANGEL FLIGHT WEST  Volunteer pilots and their support network arrange free relocation flights for domestic violence survivors across the3 twelve Western States. (They also fly medical transport missions, assist military personnel, work to move blood, organ, and tissue donations to the right spots, and fly transplant recipients...

A phone number is 888 426-2643

FRAMED BY BARS

THE JUDGES GAVEL and IT IS DONE!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE IS?

HOPE AND SAFETY ORG : LEARN ABOUT THE CYCLE OF ABUSE and DOMESTIC VIOLENCE  There are many sites on the internet that have explanations but this one seems to have gone a bit further. Please explore this site.

EXCERPT:  By 1983, women working in the Anti-violence Movement realized the Tension Building /Explosion model was flawed.  Abusers do not harm their intimate partners because of tension and stress.  As Humans, each of us feels stress and tension in our lives and yet, we do not make the choice to abuse someone else.  If it were a matter of tension the abusive person would be unable to control his behavior and would batter whoever was causing the stress (ie. the boss who yells at him or police officers who pull him over, etc.) Also abusers would not be able to control where their punches landed.  Many abusers "Target Punch" their partners - specifically targeting areas where the bruises and marks are less likely to be seen - the beck, back upper torso, and lets.

*** It is not up to the woman to make the relationship work.  Blaming the victim - that she isn't quiet enough or doesn't keep the house clean enough - for instance - can be an excuse for an abuser to let loose on her.