NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE

NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE 

800-799-7233

I've run this number before and to honor Gabby Petito. the young woman who may have been murdered while in a relationship that included Domestic Violence, I'm running it again. 

You might also want to click on tabs below and see where else in this blog I've blogged about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  You might want to read about Bernie Tiedi, for instance. 

You can call this number out of concern for someone else as well and they promise the person you talk to will not be judgmental.

This blog stands for CHOICE which can sometimes be a Privilege. 

I think just about anyone can find themselves in a relationship that becomes abusive, sometimes from the start, sometimes over many years.  Not everyone who is in a relationship that has abuse in it realizes it right away.  Notions such as that abuse is always physical may prevent a person from realizing that they are in an abusive relationship.  Abuse can go both ways as well and is not always men abusing women. 

Sometimes something as simple as couple's counseling can make a big difference.  It may help to be in a therapist's office where both people can speak their truth. 

Sometimes a person may need to be clever in order to get out of an abusive situation. 

Covid shut downs put pressure on some relationships as has the overall economic situation in the United States and other countries.

Check in with yourself frequently and ask yourself how you feel about other people in your life.

Recently I've been watching YouTube videos about Narcissism. I've learned that several people who I had in my friendship circle through the years have this personality disorder.

If you grew up as an abused child, you may think abuse in an adult relationship is normal and not a problem.  

I'm often asked if Mistresses are all in relationships that are abusive.  My answer is no, not all. You do not have to be a person with a deficit in self esteem to be Kept or in a relationship that cannot move towards legal marriage.  Ideally everyone involved is honest with themselves and others so that adult decisions can be made. Marriage is not for everyone, nor is monogamy, and many people have more than one person to love at a time in their lives, though the pressure to conform to societal expectations can drive people to keep a secret of a relationship.  

Remember that it's common to idealize another person when in the first stage of a relationship. Eventually we must decide if we want to continue with a person who does not meet our expectations. How realistic are our expectations?  That answer may be very different based on a number of factors such as your age, employment and education, and history of relationships.

If you know or suspect your relationship is harming you in some way, try to get more information.

If you arrived at this site by cell phone or home computer, you may want to erase the history so that someone else who can have access to your phone or computer does not know you have this number. Write down the number and keep it elsewhere. I know phone booths are rare but there may be other places that you can make phone calls out without being tracked.

LOVING THE ONE YOU'RE WITH INCLUDES LOVING YOURSELF.

Missy

NUGENTS GRANDDAUGHTER OBJECTS TO HOW MARJORIE WAS PORTRAYED IN FILM

DALLAS MORING NEWS : BERNIES FAMILY HELPED SEND HIM BACK TO PRISON by Brandi Grissom

Excerpt: "You want to take everything about my family and make it dirty and nasty, but the truth is, that is what you are," she said Friday in the courtroom where a jury declared that Tiede must return to prison.  "You, sire, are nothing to me. You took my grandmother's life.  You took the last years of her life and you stole her money.  But you know what her legacy is? It's my family."

Note : Shanna was a teenager when her grandmother was murdered.

A SECRETIVE BERNIE TIEDI : SEXUAL ABUSE AS A CHILD - PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE BY THE WOMAN HE MURDERED

 TEXAS MONTHLY : BERNIE TIEDI NOW (2016) by Skip Hollensworth  "BERNIE IN HELL"

In this article, circa 2016, in Texas Monthly, writer Skip Hollensworth displays his conflicting thoughts and feelings about Bernie Tiedi.  I'm excerpting the points I think are most important.  Missy

... Tiedi quickly confessed, stating that he had initially enjoyed being around Nugent until she became "very hateful, " very possessive over my life" and "evil and wicked."  He admitted that he had been fantasizing about hitting her over the head with a bat but had ended up shooting her because he "didn't want her to suffer."

... Toward the end of the trial, he testified that he had loved Nugent even though life with her had been like "being in prison to some degree. . . being smothered"  He said that he'd never actually planned to kill her, despite what he'd said in his confession, and that when he'd done so, he'd felt as if he had watched himself pickup a gun and start firing.

... During her investigation, Cole discovered that among the items police had taken from Tiede's house after his arrest were four books on childhood sexual abuse.  She went to see Tiedi, and he eventually - and reluctantly - told her that he had endured years of molestation as a boy at the hands of an uncle, information that he had never revealed to his original lawyer.

... Cole asked a prominent Houston forensic psychiatrist named Richard Pesikoff to interview Tiede.  Based on their conversation, Pesikoff issued a report concluding that Tiede's "ability to repress and compartmentalize the abusive events from childhood and adolescence was ultimately overwhelmed by the repeated and extensive psychological abuse he suffered from Ms. Nugent."

ONE SIDE OF THE BERNIE TIEDI STORY : HE WAS NOTHING LIKE IN THE MOVIE

TRIBTALK ORG : BERNIE WAS NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIE  by Shanna Nugent - a grand-daughter of the murder victim Marjorie Nugent.

OK - I was not alone in believing the film.  After all, the film influenced the court system to give Bernie Tiedi another trial.  This article, however, reflects the other side, the opposite opinion, and it's well written and compelling.

EXCERPT:

 "I had thoughts of hitting Marjorie in the head with a bat or anything for a couple of months prior to November 19, 1996, but I did not want her to suffer. ... Marjorie had a rifle in the freezer closet. ... I had moved the rifle into the bathroom near the garage.  She had walked out into the garage towards my car.  I took the rifle and shot Marjorie in the back.  She fell face first.  Marjorie was still breathing heavily, so I shot her again.  I may have shot her one more time.  I did not want her to suffer.  I then dragged Marjorie by the feet from the garage to the freezer.  I had taken the food from the freezer. I placed her into the freezer and covered her with the food.  I took a water hose and washed the blood from the garage.  I swept up the bullets alone with some leaves and threw them away."

Our family implores the public to remember Marjorie Nugent's murder this way, by the facts.

When my grandmother met Tiedi, our family was glad she had a friend.  Her husband of 53 years had just passed away, and my family was living in Amarillo.

When our family didn't agree with her about Tiede's role in her financial affairs, it strained our relationship.  Tiedi proceeded to ostracize us, as well as her friends and advisers who tried to provide her with support.  We believe she grew suspicious and concerned about the state of her financial accounts toward the end of her life.  Did this play into her murder? We may never know, but I believe this resulted in her murder...

BERNIE : MISTRESS MANIFESTO FILM REVIEW

Billed as a comedy, this film will appeal to your dark sense of humor.  It's starring Jack Black as Bernie Tiedi and Shirley Maclaine as Marjorie Nugent, the murder victim, as  well as Matthew McConaughey as Buck Davidson, the local prosecutor who takes the murder trial to another county because Bernie is too well loved in Carthage, Texas.  I loved the testimonials of gossipy townspeople throughout.

TEXAS TRIBUNE: BERNIE MOVIE LEADS TO BERNIE'S FREEDOM


NEW YORK TIMES : BERNIE RELEASED TO DIRECTOR'S GARAGE