GROOMING : WHAT IS BEING GROOMED? YOU'RE NOT BEING DATED, YOU'RE BEING HUNTED

 

Virginia Guiffre is the most famous woman to speak out about her history of being sex trafficked and how it badly effected her emotions and thinking and changed her life. She struggled so valiantly. However, there are many other women, and some men, who have, both against Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and against other people, spoken out. You can find many of them on YouTube videos. Though some were abducted, many of them were groomed slowly but surely, only to find themselves living in horror.  

What is grooming? Don't feel bad if you've never heard that term because some people who have been groomed and sex trafficked didn't know those terms! It is a process, which can happen slowly or suddenly, in which a person who is an opportunist and user, a predator, and intends to sex traffic or prostitute you tries to make you comfortable with the idea of having sex with him and then strangers, perhaps first by pretending to love you, perhaps starting with being sexual with you in an OK way - but possibly by even assaulting you or abusing you, and/or buys you things but them expects you to 'pay back' by having sex with other people.

A pedophile is a person who is interested in having sex with others who are under the legal age, sometimes too young to even physically safely have sex. (Having your period is not evidence that your body is ready for sex or pregnancy or giving birth.)

If you would like to hear real women testify as to how it is they were groomed and sex trafficked I strongly suggest the YouTube station called SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY.

YOUTUBE STATION : SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY Uncensored videos.  Look for Kat and Karla. About being brain washed - breaking you down and turning you into what they want you to be. (A warning on these adult videos, as they may upset you terribly.)

So, I thought about it. Had anyone ever tried to groom me when I was a teen?

I think so, though it didn't go far. 

This was a man who was in his late thirties and married. He mentioned one of my friends was their babysitter and that she was his wife's "best friend." He told me about a man friend of his who was having sex with a young woman about my age. I guess he was trying to get a reaction. What did I think about that? I don't recall having an opinion to express. He mentioned being attracted to other girls and that he had kissed one of them - a girl from my school. One day he threw himself on top of me and shoved his tongue into my mouth. It was not sexy and didn't feel good. I also didn't feel afraid. Other people could have walked in at any minute, so as an adult woman I wonder why he would take such a risk. I didn't go home and tell my mother. I should have but I have to wonder what, if anything, she would have done about it. I wasn't complimented. I didn't seek him out. I have to say that I was so naive at the time, I wasn't suspicious. I didn't understand what was going on.

The thing that bothered me most at the time was that he seemed extremely interested in who among my friends was having sex. Some were, with their boyfriends who were age appropriate. 

 

POLARIS PROJECT: HOW TRAFFICKERS GROOM AND CONTROL 

END SLAVERY NOW : GROOMING FOR SEXUAL EXPLOITATION

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NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE

NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE 

800-799-7233

I've run this number before and to honor Gabby Petito. the young woman who may have been murdered while in a relationship that included Domestic Violence, I'm running it again. 

You might also want to click on tabs below and see where else in this blog I've blogged about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  You might want to read about Bernie Tiedi, for instance. 

You can call this number out of concern for someone else as well and they promise the person you talk to will not be judgmental.

This blog stands for CHOICE which can sometimes be a Privilege. 

I think just about anyone can find themselves in a relationship that becomes abusive, sometimes from the start, sometimes over many years.  Not everyone who is in a relationship that has abuse in it realizes it right away.  Notions such as that abuse is always physical may prevent a person from realizing that they are in an abusive relationship.  Abuse can go both ways as well and is not always men abusing women. 

Sometimes something as simple as couple's counseling can make a big difference.  It may help to be in a therapist's office where both people can speak their truth. 

Sometimes a person may need to be clever in order to get out of an abusive situation. 

Covid shut downs put pressure on some relationships as has the overall economic situation in the United States and other countries.

Check in with yourself frequently and ask yourself how you feel about other people in your life.

Recently I've been watching YouTube videos about Narcissism. I've learned that several people who I had in my friendship circle through the years have this personality disorder.

If you grew up as an abused child, you may think abuse in an adult relationship is normal and not a problem.  

I'm often asked if Mistresses are all in relationships that are abusive.  My answer is no, not all. You do not have to be a person with a deficit in self esteem to be Kept or in a relationship that cannot move towards legal marriage.  Ideally everyone involved is honest with themselves and others so that adult decisions can be made. Marriage is not for everyone, nor is monogamy, and many people have more than one person to love at a time in their lives, though the pressure to conform to societal expectations can drive people to keep a secret of a relationship.  

Remember that it's common to idealize another person when in the first stage of a relationship. Eventually we must decide if we want to continue with a person who does not meet our expectations. How realistic are our expectations?  That answer may be very different based on a number of factors such as your age, employment and education, and history of relationships.

If you know or suspect your relationship is harming you in some way, try to get more information.

If you arrived at this site by cell phone or home computer, you may want to erase the history so that someone else who can have access to your phone or computer does not know you have this number. Write down the number and keep it elsewhere. I know phone booths are rare but there may be other places that you can make phone calls out without being tracked.

LOVING THE ONE YOU'RE WITH INCLUDES LOVING YOURSELF.

Missy

BE THE CHANGE

LET'S BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT WE HAVE

rather than focus on what we have not!
Not to be "in denial" but most of us, in the English-speaking countries anyway, have tremendous advantages that most of the world does not.

We have more CHOICE over all and that is a privilege in itself !

But if, my dear, you find yourself alone enough to be lonely this holiday, it is essential that you make a list of all you've got. I trust you know also, how to keep yourself occupied with your avocations!

Missy