This month's posts have reminded me that Domestic Violence is not restricted to the poor, as is stereotyped, and that Suicide is not the way to solve emotional and psychological pain. I want you, my readers, to be as healthy in body and mind as one can be. So I'm going to offer a couple phone numbers that may be the first step to improving your life if you are suffering. Though I don't personally deal with Domestic Violence and have never been Suicidal, friends of mine have been. I'm not making light of these issues at all.
Yes, I've talked on the phone for many hours with a friend who was depressed and in therapy and mostly it was all over a man, a man who was actually a good man but simply working on his PhD. and had little time for women in general, but was just not that interested in her. They were not having an affair. Not yet, anyway. She was obsessed with him and had developed quite a fantasy about what might happen in their relationship simply because they went for coffee and held hands on a walk. I stayed on the phone with her - long distance - until the sun rose and she could call her therapist for an emergency appointment.
We live and learn. All these years later, I have more knowledge and experience, and think I would probably deal with women friends who were in relationships that would never make them happy a bit differently. I never played therapist and suggesting therapy to another person took a long time for me to do. I still think that having a confidant or two is important and that loyalty and faithfulness in friendships is so important. However, sometimes as a close personal friend it takes you a while to realize that your friend who is in such pain needs someone to talk to who has a professional perspective.
I recently met a young woman who told me that talking about your personal life or problems to strangers made it obvious to her that a person needed to be in therapy. I do not agree with that. Sometimes disclosure and sharing are exactly how people bond and find out they have some things in common. (I also found out later that this particular young woman had serious problems such as drug addiction, a petty criminal record, and so on, so she was intensely in to therapy.) No, a therapist is not a friend! They are paid professionals with education and experience in the field of psychology. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can prescribe medications. Usually a person sees a therapist first. (And if you're in therapy and it's not helping, you may need to switch to a different one.) With a friend I'm not able to be objective like a professional might be.
Understanding what is or is not abuse or violence is important just as understanding what is or is not depression rather than just a bad mood or sadness.
If you find yourself in a relationship or circumstances like Maria Callas did, well, this is 2024 and you don't have to be tortured like Maria.
988 is the designated number to go right to SUICIDE PREVENTION and CRISIS HOTLINE - and you can SMS (text) with them too. The previous 988 Lifeline phone number 800-273-8255 will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.
https://988lifeline.org/current-events/the-lifeline-and-988/
And then there's the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
Missy
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