Question for Missy
Hi Missy,
I'm a disabled man in my sixties who can still function sexually but isn't interested in a relationship. I met a lady at the senior center who isn't disabled and have been friends with her for about two years. At about the year and a half point she started to come on to me. About six months ago it was her birthday and she said she wanted to have sex with me for her birthday. I told her no. I was married for over 30 years and haven't had sex with anyone since my wife died. I told her that. I still love my wife and always will. Also I told this woman to stop calling me so much. Her therapist told her also that she wasn't listening to me when I told her I just wanted the friendship. I told her that by text, by e-mail, and when we talk. She backed off for a while but the other day we were sitting in the park together and she asked me why I wouldn't have sex with her. I think I've said it a lot of different ways. She also says it's not just about sex and that she loves me and would marry me. How do I get her to take the hint?
Roger
Los Angeles
Answer from Missy
Wow Roger, that is a whole lot of not taking the hint. Roger, I think this woman is sexually obsessed with you and you're like a a "love drug" to her.
You've never had sex with her though she has been after you for it and it sounds like you've been clear with her verbally. Now you must also, through your actions, break with her firmly and consistently. You have to tell her one final time that the two of you are just not on the same page. And this might mean not seeing her around the senior center too. Are you willing to do that?
If you call her, call her back, or see her for any reason - just the two of you - she will get a dose of her "love drug" and she will not give up on you.
Here are some suggestions:
Even at the senior center be sure that you are not alone with her. Sit with other people at lunch, for instance.
Suggest to her when you do break with her that she join a dating club to meet someone more to her liking.
If you have a friend who you honestly think might make a good companion for her, introduce them.
Your message in Comments, which I do not publish for the Questions and Answers aspect of Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, also indicates that you hate to lie. I want to suggest that gentle honesty is the best policy, however, because I think she is addicted to you and obsessed, and I've had women friends who were obsessed with men in the past, I know that the slightest suggestion of interest in her would be enough to keep that obsession going. The slightest. She has a therapist to work with, which is a good thing.
But while musing about how to answer your question, I found a hilarious article on the net that I'm going to link to here. It's so funny I laughed all the way through. To you, and my readers, I suggest you click on this link and read this! It's from GQ magazine and by writer Victoria Coren from 2015.
British GQ MAGAZINE : 20 WAYS TO MAKE HER LEAVE YOU by Victoria Coren Mitchell
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