MIHRUMAH, THE DAUGHTER OF PRINCESS HURREM and SULEYMAN IS MARRIED OFF

Because Roxelana managed to marry Sultan Suleyman the Magnificent, against all odds, as Princess Hurrem she did well by her daughter as well, who was also now eligible to marry.

The rules for a Moslem woman who was not enslaved for marriage in the Islamic Caliphate were that if she was a virgin, and of course that was expected, she could refuse any proposal of marriage. She could also divorce. However, I do think there was pressure on these women to accept the matchmaking that was done on their behalf and to remain married, just as there is today.  Mihrumah was married at seventeen to a man of Croatian origin, Rustem, who was a statesman in Istanbul.  I find it interesting that this man also came from a culture that was mostly Christian, but do not know if he was Christian or Moslem.  A little more research revealed that there were people of other religions such as Christians and Jews in the Ottoman Empire  He was twice her age. (Page 207)

Roxelana as Princess Hurrem also rose to the responsibility and authority of matchmaking slave women. Interestingly, they were allowed to marry and a good Moslem was to free a slave after seven years of service.  A newly freed woman was also allowed to have her own slaves. Not to defend slavery, but this seems a bit like 16th century internships!

Another surprise I found in Leslie Pierce's book was that eunuchs were allowed to marry and also could reproduce. I thought eunuchs were men who had been castrated and thus trusted to be around the harem without having sex with the women or interfering in this breeding program.  However a little more research revealed that the term could simply mean that these were trusted slaves who protected the women in their bedchambers.

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Empress of the East by Leslie Pierce is the reference for this post.

PRINCESS HURREM USES HER STATION TO DO GOOD WORKS

Princess Hurrem decided to make a mark on the society in which she lived by starting a tradition that her female lineage would continue, and that was to do good things for the people, to be charitable and to have a duty towards the people. Though she was born into a Christian family as a Ruthenian, she was raised to be a devout Moslem and was a sincere believer. Her husband was blood-thirsty, a man known for slaughter, but she managed to create civilization within their Moslem world. She had mosques built, was behind schools for the children, a hospital, a soup kitchen, and even waterworks such as fountains. Thousands went to work on these projects.

A philanthropic tradition in her name began and it was not just in Istanbul but also in Mecca, Medina, Jerusalem, and other places of pilgrimage. She was behind hotels for those who traveled and made pilgrimages. In doing so, the women of her lineage had much to do besides being mothers. By doing what might have been considered impossible - rising up from harem slavery to being a married woman with more than one child - her daughters were not enslaved and could also marry.

She was exceptional.

When she traveled, her entourage of carriages and servants displayed her wealth and power so the people who saw her could gaze her way but she remained hidden and unseen.

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Empress of the East by Leslie Pierce is the reference for this post.

ROXELANA AS A GOOD MOTHER and GRANDMOTHER IN THE OTTOMON EMPIRE

While her husband Suleyman the Magnificent was away at war, the once-slave Roxelana wrote him letters daily saying how much she and their children - missed him.  She did not want him to forget them or forget that they waited on his return.

The Prince had an older son by another, older woman of the harem who had also started out in slavery. That son had reportedly tried to dethrone his father.  Perhaps it wasn't true but a set up when he was strangled to death in a coup when he went to visit his father, Suleyman. This got blamed on Roxelana but it might have been Suleyman himself who was behind the killing. Roxelana had long had to do her best getting along with this older woman who had given Suleyman his first son, but when that son died, his mother was left without any life purpose or power in the situation.

Suleyman's own mother had been a Slavic slave woman!  One does wonder, and the book does not answer this, if perhaps the prince was raised to be more Slavic by his mother than indoctrinated into the Moslem Turk ways. It seems to me that this program of breeding women to bear sons meant a change in their DNA. It's the old question of nature versus nurture.

Boys were raised to be soldier, leaders, a high administrator or boss, even a ruthless one. In this world in which roles were restricted and defined by gender, few people had choices about what they might want to do with their lives. However, there was still some wisdom and compassion in assigning men their position.

After Roxelana had her first son, Suleyman did not leave her bed as was expected. They had five children, four sons and a daughter.  Mehmed, Mihrumah - the daughter, Abdullah, Bayezid, and  Cihangar. In the end one of the sons was too disabled in some way to rise up into an important role. He remained at home with her. They grew up quickly and were assigned important positions while still teenagers. 

The three sons who made it into their teens were sent away to Anatola to important jobs and with the duty to get women pregnant to continue their line. They were not considered to be soldiers but I do wonder if perhaps it was that Roxelana prevailed, not wanting to loose her children in war. Another rule was broken. She did not go with any of them. The oldest son died there of the plague. If she had not had more children, Roxelana would have had the fate of her predecessor, and lost her power. They were deeply grieved - another sign that this family was extraordinary. Three sons each had a daughter by a concubine and finally one of them had a son. Roxelana broke another rule and established relationships with each of the mothers of her grandchildren. However, one of the sons was also executed. That left her and Suleyman with two sons to count on.

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Empress of the East by Leslie Pierce is the reference for this post.

THE WEDDING - SULEYMAN THE MAGNIFICENT and THE FORMER SLAVE GIRL SHOCK THEIR WORLD

In 1534, a Venetian envoy reported that there was a marriage between Roxelana and Suleyman that was not affirmed by the court in Istanbul, Turkey, the capital and headquarters of the empire. They reported only that the slave Roxelana's was Suleyman's favorite in the harem. I muse that a royal engagement or agreement to marry might take place long before an actual ceremony, that an engagement period was observed. The marriage was admitted to officially in 1535.

While he was on another campaign to brutalize the Hungarians, Roxelana had written him letters everyday emphasizing how much she missed him.

What is true is that she had given him more than one son. She had given him several children, one of whom was a daughter, so already he had gone against the notion that once a woman in the harem gave a Prince a son, he needed to move on to another woman in the harem. They were in fact a family, a nuclear family, which would be a far more Ruthenian Christian way to live, than a Moslem Turk way to live.

Roxelana had been captured at about 13 year old and she had been converted to the Moslem religion, she was beautiful and intelligent and shrewd, if not manipulative, and had clearly prevailed over other women with her ongoing relationship with the man, even as he spent so much time away on military campaigns. There is real evidence that he loved her.  Suleyman wrote love poetry to Roxelana. 

She wrote to him, "A single hair of your head is worth more to me than one hundred thousand florins." (Page 210)

A typical wedding for a person of such high station as Suleyman usually lasted three weeks and involved throwing a party for the public with entertainment as well as the display of riches and power. The Prince would only appear on the 14th day and just for one day, kind of like the appearance of a celebrity. (Page 102)

In 1535 the two lovers were married. It was totally surprising and controversial. Roxelana was considered to be a seductress. (Page146)

To give some perspective that we Westerners can relate to, at the time, England's King Henry VIII, the King who was also under pressure to have an heir and continue his line, and who had six wives, two whom he had killed, was a contemporary of Suleyman The Magnificent's.

Perhaps the goings on in the personal life of Suleyman was gossiped about or reported but the wedding as a public event confirmed that in fact, Suleyman was so Magnificent he could do whatever he wanted. 

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Empress of the East by Leslie Pierce is the reference for this post.

LOVE and SEX IN INDIA : DOCUMENTARY FILM: MISTRESS MANIFESTO FILM REVIEW

India is primarily Hindu, secondarily Muslim, and both religions arrange marriages.  This film is about just how rigid that system is.  It is illegal to send a private investigator out to ask questions, illegal to have abortions, and both dowries and the caste system is illegal.  However, investigators routinely go out to get dirt on a potential bride or groom, women have abortions - especially to be rid of female fetuses (femalicide) and so the proportion of women available for men to marry is shrinking. People who run away to marry someone they fell in love with that their parents do not approve because they are of a different caste, and severe physical punishments if they are caught happen.  It's inexpensive to buy acid to throw in a woman's face for refusing a groom and men can be beaten to death as well.  These "Honor Crimes" have their defenders and lawyers who will go to court to defend them. As a result there is, profiled in this documentary, a shelter where couples go and hide and a tiny room of a temple where they can be married.  That they eloped and it's a done deal does not mean either of them will ever see their family again.

So, if you, like me, have studied yoga, and are of the opinion that India is a very spiritual country, well, it's also a difficult one to live in if you are a modern woman, one that doesn't believe in love as a reason for marriage.  Despite the Kuma Sutra sex position manuals and romantic Bollywood movies, sex - even kissing - is not allowed before marriage.  A woman without a husband has no status. 

And perhaps the biggest taboo of all is homosexuality, although transgender people - considered the 3rd sex and mystical - are accepted. 

All very sad, very distressing.

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All Rights Reserved

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS on GENITAL MUTILATION

This image is a work of an employee of the Government Accountability Office or a predecessor organization, taken or made as part of that person's official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain in the United States.

COMMONS WIKIMEDIA on GENITAL MUTILATION OF WOMEN IN AFRICA

AND THEN THERE WAS A LOVE TRIANGLE OF SORTS : KOLA BOOK IN MORE DANGER AS SHE REMEETS ANOTHER MAN SHE'D BEEN A MISTRESS TO

A sort of love triangle with Osama Bin Laden and another man, Hasan al-Turabi, the leader of the National Islamic Front,  possibly the most powerful man in the Sudan then, happened.  But at first Kola Boof  (then Naima) didn't know the two men were friendly.  She'd been his mistress in 1995, a year earlier. He had a son Isam who also desired her.

But the one night of romance she had with the son was the end of it.  He expected sexual servitude and had intense energy towards her. She thought this emotion was a mix of lust, racial hate, exotica, ideation, and power-over-a-child syndrome.

Should she tell Osama?

She did. She said she had been at Hasan al Turabi's the prior year.  

He had horribly abused her verbally and had punched her and broken her nose and fractured her rib.  At the hospital the police and nurses found a way to dismiss her complaints because they didn't want trouble for themselves.

But what had ended her relationship with Osama Bin Laden was a fight Naima had with another woman in which she became crazed and stabbed a man.  The fight brought Osama to her side with a present again.  And now she was pregnant with his child. (Page 210)

Osama figured she was in love with Isam.

So he was violent with her later and even wanted her to wear a dog collar and leash so he could parade her around as a sex slave in front of Isam.  He thought this was funny.

A White woman who was assigned to be her maid but was an informant may have been involved in feeding Naima poison so that she miscarried.

Finally Naima told Osama that their relationship was unfair to her.  She didn't like the way he took over her life.  She wanted to go back to America.  And he agreed.  He gave her traveling money and her jewels.
He was ready to replace her with a French girl anyway.

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Excerpts are taken from Diary of a Lost Girl by Kola Boof

OSAMA

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Free to use Public Domain Clip art from ClipArtLord.com 
Osama Bin Laden

KOLA BOOF and OSAMA BIN LADEN - FOUR DAYS IN SHE FELT TRAPPED - JUST ONE OF HIS HAREM

"God I can't lie.  The first few weeks I was genuinely excited and hopeful about my fate as his mistress.  Although I'm now a womanist who thinks it's shameful.  I remember back then feeling really beautiful and desired....  (page 174 Diary of a Lost Girl) Naima had servants, good foo0d, and awaited him to return.  She straightened her hair so he could run his hands through it.  And he gave her a ruby sapphire necklace and diamond earrings, a $300 bottle of perfume.  he seemed to be apologizing for his past behavior and scaring her. (page 175)

So let me editorialize a bit here...  Although there are mistresses who do a lot of waiting around for a visit from their man... on call for him at a moments notice... waiting for the phone to ring to summon them... To me Kola's experience is of being entrapped and isolated.... Missy

She became bored and felt trapped and watched.  She was guarded and not to leave the premises - granted it was a luxury hotel.  And only 4 days had gone by when she asked when he was going to show back up.  Turns out Osama Bin Laden had other "dependents" and so she realized she was not special but part of a harem, even if she didn't see the other women.

He was not a terrorist then or she didn't know he was.  It was 1996.

"I was a person used to being violated and then denying it."

She called him "Somi."