GEORGIE ZIADIE BECOMES A WOMAN AND BEGINS TO UNDERSTAND HER MENTALLY ILL PARENTS

Lady Colin Campbell takes the name she received upon her marriage, a brief marriage. As a young woman known as Georgie she had an ordeal to match her body with her female gender which would require surgery.  These are my notes selected to further her story from her memoir, Daughter of Narcissus, the prime reference for his month's posts. 

In May on 1968, Georgie had been cleared as psychologically well enough to consider surgery to correct her intersex condition and be a woman by gender. At the time there was intense pressure of young women to marry well before the age of twenty-five. Both of her parents were hostile towards her. In 1969 her narcissist mother denied that she had ever made the promise to her that she and her father would consent to surgery. Georgie however went to fashion school in Miami and had begun to sell some of the clothing she designed in New York. She needed $5000 for the surgery and attempted to earn it. But surprisingly she learned that her grandmother, Maisie, her mother's mother, had never known of her condition and, while visiting Jamaica, offered to pay for the surgery! She needed her vagina to be reconstructed and her clitoris reduced in size. Her parents offered to pay for it as suddenly and wanted her to forget her New York doctor and go to a Jamaican doctor instead. She had the surgery in New York with contributions from family and it turned out to be not as long a surgery as expected. Her mother bought herself jewelry with the money contributed in excess of the surgery costs rather than give it back to donors. Georgie had the surgery without family there but anorexia was another consideration and the doctors demanded that a parent come to New York. Her mother did, under duress, and then kept the medical paperwork needed to actually change her ID to female.  Eventually the redone birth certificate was done.

The other aspect of this change was that the upper classes in Jamaica were stunned to see a beautiful twenty-one year old woman rather than a young man in their midst, fashionable and a model. Her mother decided to tell the story her way, starring herself and all her suffering, blaming her husband for delays, and exaggerating all that Georgie had been through as well. Georgie chose to be straight-forward when asked but did not want to become news. It was time to let a suitable husband from the island's elite find her. But her mother was jealous of the attention she was getting and her beauty and an incident occurred in which Gloria, her mother, stabbed Georgie's cheek with a lit cigarette. In response she began battering her mother. I was 1972 and her mother would die without ever apologizing.  No chance of closeness, Georgie was through with trying or believing it would ever get better.

Georgie slowly became more aware that her parents were mentally ill and suffered from personality disorders for which they would not seek help.  She came to understand they were a mismatched couple dedicated to preserving the marriage but that the terms and conditions of marriage for women of their class could be especially difficult.

She came to understand that as Narcissists they were incapable of true care and concern for their children. Eventually accepting what they were and were not allowed her to deal with them with the distance she needed to keep to further be abused by them.

But psychology and psychiatry was not then what they are today today.  Georgie Ziadie was expected to marry early and well before the age of twenty five. Her beauty and status as a person of the British Jamaica colony attracted many a like-minded suitor who was prepared to marry, but the man she did marry proved to be exactly like her parents - and worse. She had to come to terms with the effects her parents abuse had on her without the acknowledgment we have today of Domestic Violence.

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MALE FEMALE MASCULINE FEMININE HETEROSEXUAL HOMOSEXUAL BISEXUAL TRANSSEXUAL : MORE LABELS THAN EVER

This Valentine month here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, I pause a bit from the more usual Mistress of the Month format to look at a special topic... gender and sexuality. 

Do you have a Valentine who isn't heterosexual?



There are more ways to label yourself - and others - than ever. You no longer have to be or choose male or female, heterosexual (straight) or homosexual (gay) or bisexual (excited by both male and female persons) or pansexual (whomever turns you on.) There are MANY labels to describe how you experience yourself in your body and what turns you on and one of those does not include the body.

In keeping my promise to myself and my readers, there won't be anything pornographic in my posts or links. Should I receive comments, I hope some of you will have some suggestions for Mistress of the Month (or Mantress of the Month, a term I came up with for Kept Men) who are in relationships less conventional that the Classic Mistress. Do you know of someone who is perhaps Transgender and being Kept?  (Send me links to books, articles, media...)

Is it possible that the reason Mistresses of the female heterosexual variety are the most known is because as women not fitting a traditional role they are the most scandalous?  Is this a sexist bias?

I want to help you explore these gender and sexuality possibilities because they open up the definition of Mistress; when I hear of a Woman Keeping a Man, which is rarely compared to a Man Keeping a Woman, it's almost always a heterosexual relationship and with that come notions such as traditional roles and "role reversals."  

I've known of Older Gay Men Keeping Much Younger Gay men but there seems not to be many publications on that topic. Is that because it's more common in the gay world and being gay is more scandalous than being Kept?

I find labels only useful when you're seeking one and then only temporarily. Labels can be like a diagnosis. People can be self limiting using labels because once you declare yourself, you're still dealing with other people's expectations and stereotypes. So is claiming to be Pansexual a best option?

An example of how labeling can hurt your psychology? I was introduced to a friend's boyfriend and instead of saying his name and what he does for a living, he said "I'm HIV."  Not I have HIV but AM!  This diagnosis was no doubt life-changing for the man, but he was and is so much more!  OK, those two declared themselves gay long before they were involved with each other.  

I never knew what to think of another couple because the more masculine person, genetically male, kept saying he was NOT gay though he was involved with another man who declared he WAS gay for years. Perhaps Bisexual might have been a more realistic assumption for him because he once had a girlfriend?  Does that leave the option open that before you die you might find a woman attractive?

I'm more of an advocate for your personal privacy about your sexuality than not at a time when people are confusing being Candid with being Honest and Honestly with Transparency and so many people have made themselves public figures in a desire to be popular or famous who aren't even celebrities. I still think it's none of the business of your employer, for instance, what you do sexually or with whom. It's not professional to be talking about your personal sexual adventures or the details of your relationships at work or in your profession.  (The time to mention your commitment to your boss is upon your engagement (if it's in the papers) or by invitation to your wedding when you might have to change insurance.  Until then, don't take anyone on a date to the office party!)  I guess I still think there are situations were Coming Out is not a good idea. After all, you might change your mind or have an experience you never thought you would.

To research for this month I encountered lots of information on the internet that I want to share with you.  I'll also try to have some fun with this topic and give my opinions.  After all, we can't always be serious.

Missy

PS:  As mentioned in Pages, Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot complies with the Google Public Blogger guidelines and there are no sexually graphic images or language here.  There are no ads attached at all as I have not approved any.

Please keep any COMMENTS to the level of college classroom discussion.  I ask a lot of questions in this post.  Perhaps you'll want to answer one of them!