A SPARKLING SMILE

 

LADY BLUE : LEON RUSSELL

Just one of my favorites...

SHOULD HE CHOOSE HIS SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE OR THE WOMAN HE'S SEEING? : OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hey Missy,

I'm in love with two women. One is my high school girlfriend, I'll call her Marie. We broke up years ago. We talk on the phone a couple times a year and see each other maybe once or twice. Usually to lunch. No messing around. She had a boyfriend for a couple years and they broke up. She's gone on dates but hasn't been in another relationship. When we get together, I think we're still attracted. I just think we were too young and it couldn't happen then. My bro says, "She's just your sentimental favorite.  Move on!"

The other, I'll call her Annie, and me have been dating for about a year and a half. She's terrific. Ok, both women are my type. I like tall blondes and I like women who have a lot to say. Annie says she is ready to make more of a commitment to me and our relationships. What stops me from asking Annie to move in with me is that I feel guilty. I always feel like I'm cheating on Marie.  Which is why I think my heart has always belonged to her. 

I'm 26 and Marie and Annie are 25. 

Robert

New Jersey

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Congratulations Robert!  You now know that loving more than one person at a time is possible. Actually I think it happens more than what is admitted to. I also know the pressure is on to choose one woman. That's the expectations of our society most of the time to be involved with only one person at a time. Mainly you are not comfortable with it. 

High school wasn't too long ago.

I understand you have a friendship with Marie that you value and have not actually "cheated' on Annie. That would be a healthy keep-her kind of friendship but for the fact that you feel guilty because you can't give Annie what she's ready for and you might be if only Marie were not in your life.  Also it doesn't sound like Marie is actually doing or saying anything that would give you the impression she would like you back, though she may just be respecting that you're involved with Annie.

It would be true to tell Annie that you are "not ready" for more of a commitment to her. Don't have her move in. You do not have to tell her about your feelings for Marie. That's for you to figure out. I think you need to call Marie and ask her out to lunch. Or take a walk in the park. Ask her if she ever thinks of you in a romantic way, if there is any spark there. Give her the chance to be honest and respect what she says.

If she's willing to give it another go, probably you need to tell Annie you need to take a break.

That's the best I can do with advice on this one.

Let me know what happens Robert!

Missy

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IS COUGER A BAD TERM TO USE ON WOMEN WHO ARE SEXUAL AGRESSORS?

GOOD MEN PROJECT ETHICS : STUFF WE SHOULD STOP DOING : CALLING WOMEN COUGARS  by Yashar Ali.

A terrific think piece...

EXCERPT :  I also think it's important to mention that "cougar" carries a connotation of predatory behavior,  As i, A) the woman could only et the younger man by chasing after him like a rabid animal and B) the woman's personality has no part in the relationship, that the guy she's dating must only be with her so he can have wild, crazy sex or because she's rich.  Or C) where cougars are often portrayed in a desperate ight, as if they have nothing better to do that "chase" after younger men.  yet the men in these relationships aren't insulted or derided, even though they are adults who are consciously deciding to be in relationships with older women.

I urge you to click and learn more about terms such as Trophy Wife, Sugar Daddy, and so on...

1939 PAINTING OF DORIS DELEVINGNE VALUED AT HALF A MILLION POUNDS

About two years ago it was revealed that a painting of Doris Delevingne was up for auction at Christies,  Called THE VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE, PALM SPRINGS by Sir John Lavery, painted in 1938 and valued at 400,000 - 600,000 pounds, it pictures the woman sitting on a diving board showing off her famous legs.  (That's right, the price of a house.) Included in this article is a photo of Doris on a ship headed for Los Angeles and another of her in a mermaid evening gown.

I believe Doris was tired of the life she had lead but knew nothing else and was in despair when she overdosed on sleeping pills at age 42 but I do think that by that age, with the younger generation coming up, she may have been too notorious to ever expect another marriage.

TATLER : PORTRAIT OF VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE

THIS DINKY THING?

 

DORIS DELEVINGNE, VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE HAS RANDOLPH CHURCHILL and WINSTON TOO?

From the article by Lyndsy Spence

...  Randolph, too fell under her spell and they began an affair. ‘I hear you’re living with my wife,’ Castlerosse bellowed down the telephone not long after they were married. ‘Yes, I am,’ answered the younger Churchill, ‘which is more than you have the courtesy to do.’ 

It appears that there is some evidence that Winston was not just having Doris come over to sit while he painted her.

THE GUARDIAN : SECRET AFFAIR - WINSTON CHURCHILL and DORIS DELEVINGNE  Good photos add to this article!  A documentary in 2018 included the information that yes, Churchill had succumbed and had an affair with Doris.

EXCERPT : Churchill spent four holidays with Castlerosse ... in the south of France during the 1930's when he was out of office.  During this time Churchill painted at least two portraits of his lover - he only ever painted one of his wife, Clementine 0 and they continued to meet at her home back in London. ... "My mother had many stories to tell about (the affair) when they stayed in my aunt's house in Berkeley Square," Doris's niece =, Caroline Delvingne, recalls in the Delevingne family's first televised interview about the affair.  "When Winston was coming to visit her, the staff were all given the day off. ... But when war threatened and Churchill's career revived, he ended the relationship.

According to this article, Doris went to America, New York, where she was not able to continue her lifestyle.  She was not that old, in 1942 when the War came, she was desperate to get back to England and is said to have used one of Churchill's paintings to remind him of their affair.  He arranged a rare seat on a plane to get her there.

Love letters that Doris wrote to Winston surfaced in the 1950's and were shown to Clementine.

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WHAT FINGER SHOULD I WEAR THIS ON?

 

DORIS DELEVINGNE BECOMES MRS. BROWNE - VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE

 

Valentine Edward Charles Browne was not the heir apparent of an Irish earldom.  His brother was. But when his brother died, his parents had to consider the son who they thought not well of. They had never liked him or approved of him. They didn't even like the way he looked or that he showed no signs of physical elegance like they did. It must have been tough growing up with such disapproving parents.* When his brother died, the title was his to do with as he pleased and what he pleased. Valentine decided to work for a living as a Journalist.

'In those early days, Castlerosse and Doris were destined not to meet. While he frequented the Saint James nightclub in Mayfair, she slipped through the doors of the Four Hundred and Ambassador nightclubs with Gertie (the actress Gertrude Lawrence) and their louche set.'

Castlerosse had just gone through some romantic disasters and his confidence was low but he was not a target for a seductress like Doris - at first. Perhaps there was a before and after inheritance Valentine?

In 1928 Doris married this unattractive man, though she seemed to be the embodiment of a Gold Digger. She, at about age 28,  became Viscountess Castlerosse. The woman had exceeded the expectations of women born into the middle class as she had been and was now a titled member of the aristocracy. And though, yes, she had slept around, and yes, she had allowed some men to spend a lot of money to make her happy, she was still young, and the marriage might have given the impression that Doris had just been sleeping around in search of a good husband..

Now, I'll carry the story a little further with the help of very interesting website I found called THE MITFORD SOCIETY. I note that Doris' story varies a bit from one book or article to another, but  THE MITFORD SOCIETY : DORIS DELEVINGNE THE CONSTANT COURTESAN  is a blog that is created by Lyndsy Spence, the author of the book The Mistress of Mayfair! In this article, there is no mention of Doris having worked or having a business. She is portrayed as without guilt for numerous sexual liaisons but also strategically working her way up. (Never the less, I can say that I adore this blog and see that the author is much interested as I am.)

Valentine Edward Charles Browne, 6th Earl of Kenmare, Viscount Castlerosse from 1905 to 1941 was "Fat, nasty, and broke, though she cared little for is financial status, for she herself had become rich from the money she hoarded off her rich admirers, she set her sights on his title and his castle in County Kerry.... Quite tellingly, they married in secret, for Castlerosse was too afraid to tell his parents that his wife was a haberdasher's daughter from Beckenham. Still, marriage meant nothing to Doris and she peddled on with her seduction of rich men - her husband, after all, needed the money."  *** 

* My opinion

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