NO TWO ARE ALIKE

 

SO GENEROUS

There are five boxes here.  Imagine what gift you would want in each box. The gifts don't have to be from one person.  These might be gifts you would give someone else...  The gifts do not have to be material objects.  These five things could be the characteristics you most want to have yourself, or the characteristics you most want from a partner in life...  Use your imagination! What is most important to you?

SANTA BABY : ARIANA GRANDE

The ultimate traditional Sugar Baby song, done with a new twist by Ariana Grande. 

When I first started this blog, I had the notion that all Kept Women were Sugar Babies.  I didn't know the variety.  All these years later, here  is where you can explore the archives.  Maybe you'll recognize yourself.  Or decide an alternative lifestyle is not all for you. 

THE OWNER OF SEEKING ARRANGEMENTS FOUND HIS OWN LOVE ON THE SITE and HIS ENTIRE ATTITUDE ABOUT LOVE CHANGED

He says the old Seeking Arrangements (Sugar Daddy - Sugar Baby web site got turned into Seekers for those who want to "date up."  I don't promote any dating sites on Mistress Manifesto here, but after listening to this video I was just amazed at the changes in this man's viewpoint about love. He didn't believe in love and was thrice divorced and he thought relationships with women was all about having money but what a change!  He and his much younger wife is going into a "no divorce" marriage.

Because of commercials I'm only providing the link rather than embedding...

9:11 / 9:11 • The rebrand 'Original Sugar Daddy' Who Said Love Was 'Invented By Poor People' Finds Love With 21 Year Old | TM  Posted about a year ago by TM  which is  This Morning, a morning television show broadcast in England.

Brandon Wade married Dana Rosewall in June 2022 and then stepped down as CEO...

Here's one of several articles that appeared on the Internet about this couple:

MIRROR - 51 YEAR OLD MILLIONAIRE MARRIED 21 YEAR OLD ECON STUDENT - NO PRENUP

SHE WAS A SUGAR BABY and NOW SHE'S BACK TO JUST DATING : WHAT'S IT LIKE?

This article was in Refinery and is by Arese Sylvester.  She offers advice on how to play it safe and find the right Sugar Daddy for you.

REFINERY : DATING AFTER BEING A SUGAR BABY

Excerpts:  Dr.Milo Gudelski, licensed psychologist and sex therapist, explains that some sugar babies struggle with recognizing sugar dating as a business and separating it from their personal lives.  When the two get mixed up, expectations may become unreasonable, selfish and problematic. "I have seen this happen where sugar babies get accustomed to receiving gifts simply for showing up.  It is easy for folks to loose themselves in this mindset and when this happens, the ability to form deeper connections in relationship is stunted." ....

The key to sugar dating is protecting your emotions so you can really finesse and get to the bag," says Dash Preistley, dating coach and former sugar baby.  Priestley, who grew up an unaffectionate person, says that sugar dating exacerbated this and emotionally desensitized her.  "I like to think of being a sugar baby as playing a character and you have to turn off this character when you're pursuing something more long term.  Sometimes, you can't really turn it all the way off though."  Another speed bump in the life after sugar dating is met when sugar babies become accustomed to choosing romantic partners for the wrong reasons.  In regular relationships, security is related to several components like shared goals, common values, emotional and intellectual compatibility...

Missy here!

I personally cannot control my emotions to shut them on or off.  I think not feeling, resisting, or devaluing emotions is not healthy.  Also, I have to tell you that I have never used any dating sites.  I think it's best to meet people in person.  I also don't know anyone who found a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mamma using a dating site.  The people I've known who had arrangements met organically and were not hard-core with demands or making arrangements.

Sometimes a woman doesn't think of herself as as Sugar Mamma, just someone who is doing well enough to be generous to a man.  The arrangements I've heard of where that the women did have some expectation that the man would eventually catch up with them financially, because the arrangements that he live with them without contributing or always being on the receiving end eventually did result in them asking the man to move out or a break up.  It seems to me that men still have every advantage when it comes to networking, education, and job opps - some more than others - depending on the work they're in. 

If you're considering an arrangement, check in with yourself and be clear about what you expect.  Be open to some renegotiation.

TWO SUGARS FOR TEA

 

SUGAR BABY? SUGAR DADDY? : PLAYING IN THE FANTASY

Some people think being a Kept Person is all about being spoiled. Some people assume Mistresses are all poor women who have luxury conferred upon them by rich men. It is not always so. There are many ways to love and many ways to have an alternative relationship.  Sometimes there is no extra money at all. This blog explores the many ways. But I think the financial aspects of alternative relationships is something that goes less commented upon, even when we find examples in the memoirs, biographies, and other non-fiction books that I excerpt from.

Some of you, my readers, may have already had the experience of being a Sugar Baby, or a Sugar Mamma or Daddy. But others only think about or hope for a relationship in which the other person is generous. Where the other person has more than you do to share financially.  Where the other person is going to make your life a bit easier. Where you feel no guilt or a sense that you have to pay them back because they truly want to do this for you and can -no sweat!

When is the last time you were invited out to a restaurant and did not feel you had to pitch in - at least for the tip? Or buy the dessert?  How did you feel about it when someone else chose the restaurant and you found out that they did not want to treat you, but wanted you to split the bill?  Do you feel comfortable with accepting an expensive gift?

Let's play in that fantasy!

Missy

IS COUGER A BAD TERM TO USE ON WOMEN WHO ARE SEXUAL AGRESSORS?

GOOD MEN PROJECT ETHICS : STUFF WE SHOULD STOP DOING : CALLING WOMEN COUGARS  by Yashar Ali.

A terrific think piece...

EXCERPT :  I also think it's important to mention that "cougar" carries a connotation of predatory behavior,  As i, A) the woman could only et the younger man by chasing after him like a rabid animal and B) the woman's personality has no part in the relationship, that the guy she's dating must only be with her so he can have wild, crazy sex or because she's rich.  Or C) where cougars are often portrayed in a desperate ight, as if they have nothing better to do that "chase" after younger men.  yet the men in these relationships aren't insulted or derided, even though they are adults who are consciously deciding to be in relationships with older women.

I urge you to click and learn more about terms such as Trophy Wife, Sugar Daddy, and so on...

HER DAUGHTER IS A WAITRESS WITH A BOYFRIEND and A SUGAR DADDY : OPINIONS BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hi Missy,

My 20 year old daughter has a long distance boyfriend, 23, Lance, now in the military.  She's a waitress for a chain restaurant that features skinny young women in very tight short shorts over hosiery, a bra that makes as much as possible of her teeny assets, and a t-shirt over that.  She's a pretty girl. She works really hard and is making hundreds in tips, very good.  I was talking to her about putting some of this money in an account for her future, after all she's been lucky to have only been out of work and on unemployment a short while due to Covid-19, plus all that government money to supplement, but who knows. 

She surprised me by saying in an off-handed way that "Rick" puts a hundred dollars a month or so into her bank account electronically.  Rick?

She said that the last time her boyfriend Lance texted while she was out shopping with her girlfriend, he sent her a couple hundred and told her to buy herself something special. So, she says, she is not hurting.

I don't like it. My daughter ditched her college plans to be a high-earning waitress but she's using her sex appeal and putting up with rowdy bunches of men to get those tips. She is putting up with sexual harassment by customers. 

Looks don't last. 

I don't like that her Lance is sending her money when they are not engaged and she has no ring on her finger. I'm mostly upset about this Sugar Daddy, Rick.  He was or is one of the customers.  She says she's keeping it platonic.

I say, if it's platonic he would not be playing Sugar Daddy and to close up that bank account and stop letting him fantasize that he has her.

Your opinion is?

Beverly in Los Angeles

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Hi Beverly,

Lance is treating her like a Mistress or Wife. Due to his service he probably can't go out shopping to buy her a personal gift, a wooing gift, which would be preferable, as would be sending flowers, love letters and "I'm Thinking of You" cards. My guess is that he is more serious about her than she may be about him.  After all, when a woman is seriously interested in only one man, she tells other men, such as the Sugar Daddy, that she has a boyfriend. She may even claim to have a boyfriend when she does not to end the fantasies of someone she does not want to lead on that she is available.

I agree that the Sugar Daddy is probably at least having a fantasy about having her, even as she sees it she's platonic friends with him.

So many ifs, buts, howevers though.

We don't know if the Sugar Daddy is a rich octogenarian who laughs his way to the bank as he sends a number of women money electronically every month, thinking "if only I were younger" or a studly young man with a thing for only her. Maybe he's a hard working man of her generation who sees his monetary contribution to her welfare a preamble and is waiting to ask her to marry him when he's made his first million. We don't know if this money sent comes from someone who barely misses it or is shirking his responsibilities to pay child support.  We know nothing.

So talk to your daughter and ask her what all she knows about the Sugar Daddy. She should know his full name, his address, his relationship status - is he married, divorced, a player? After all, he knows her name, where she works, and her personal banking. He may know her car and plate info and where she lives. He may have followed her. He may have paid a PI.

Tell her platonic friendships are platonic from both sides. Has she actually communicated to him that she is only interested in friendship and has a boyfriend? To be honest, she should.

If she did, would the money stop coming in? My guess is yes.

If she just closed the bank account without talking to him and explaining she can no longer accept his money, would he be disappointed or even angry.? My guess is yes.

Let's face it that she gave him the wiring information to her bank account. If she did not that would be invasive of him. That also communicated something to him.  Such as that she is impoverished, is not making enough money to be independent and self support, or that she is interested in him, that they have a relationship.  If this same person came into the restaurant once a month, sat at her table, had a coffee and left her a hundred dollar tip, I would think that flirty and excessive but not the same as having her bank information.

Yes, I agree that looks don't last and should not be dependent upon for life, that education and a career are important too.  Yet, she is so young, and pretty, and hardworking, and she needs to negotiate life on her own terms and discover her own values. So explain why you're worried but also express that you know it's her life.

Missy

C 2021  Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

All Rights Reserved

SUGAR DADDY NOT JUST ABOUT SEX

NY POST: SUGAR DADDY RELATIONSHIP NOT JUST ABOUT SEX by Hannah Frishberg
What a fascinating article.  Be sure to go to the link and read the whole thing.

Excerpts:  Research now finds there are actually seven types of sugar daddy-baby relationships, from the purely sex for money types to the totally platonic.  The study,published last month in the journal Sociological Perspectives, interviewed 48 current and former US sugar babies found through Craigslist, Backpage, and at the 2016 annual Sugar Baby Summit in LA.  ...


DO YOU HAVE A SUGAR FRIENDSHIP?

HE'S GOT A CASH FLOW PROBLEM and SHES POUTING - PROMISES PROMISES : OPINIONS BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Missy,

Alexander promised me that he would buy me one caret diamond earrings, also a diamond tennis bracelet, and a coat at Burberry.  I want the coat for interviews in New York.  Now he says he has a "cash flow problem."  Should I become frigid?

Mistress Miami

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Miami,

You mean withhold sex? (Seems to me a person is or is not frigid and doesn't become so over a lack of diamonds in their ears, on their wrist, or a nice coat on their back.) Because you aren't getting paid in gems and clothes?  Miami, are you having an erotic affair or are you in a Relationship?

Are you interviewing so that you can get a job to support yourself or looking for work that will you allow to Keep Him?  Ok, I get it that to him you are Sugar and he's your Sugar Daddy, but sincerely, I want you to think about some things.  If you had a business that went bumpy, say based on commissions that went poof!, or you ran out of your savings and couldn't pay your rent, would you want your friends to choose that moment to snub you or loose you?

Of the three gifts you were expecting, that were promised, the only one that's maybe a necessity for interviews in cold and rainy places, to give a certain first impression, in certain kinds of work, is the rain coat.

If I was in a Relationship, and I TRULY CARED about the other person, which one can do without being in love, and he was experiencing a difficult time financially at most I'd buy a Burberry knock-off, or wear my old rain coat into the lobby, and take it off and have it over my arm entering the interview.  Will the interviewer be sniffing out fashion labels to see if you're qualified for the job?  If so, OK, I get it.

But take Mistress Marion Davies as your inspiration.  When Hearst, a multimillionaire, had financial problems and needed cash, she sold jewelry he had given her and opened up her purse.  She put her money where her heart was!

I could do without the diamonds to keep a good man in my life and I wouldn't withhold sex from a good man to punish him for a financial slow down.  Certainly doing so won't inspire him to keep on going or to figure something else out when it comes to his finances.  Many an Up and Coming man has need of patient, kind, loving, woman who Believes in him. Such a woman is like a five caret diamond to him.

Take inventory about promises that Alexander makes (and you make to him).  Following through on promises to call or keep to plans will let you know he's sincere and reliable and ditto.  That's the more important kind of promise.

When someone does not follow through on showing up when they say they will or standing up for you, you walk in high heeled pumps but you've got sand in your shoes.  And if you simply do not or cannot Care about Alexander, move on to someone else, but maybe the deep pockets you're seeking are elsewhere, such as in your own trench!

Good Luck!

Missy

C 2016 Missy Rapport / MistressManifesto.Blogspot.com 
All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

COLLEGE STUDENT WOMEN SIGNING UP AT SUGAR DADDY WEB SITES FOR COLLEGE TUITION/ PERKS : OPINION BY MISSY

KSDK : SUGAR DADDIES HELPING COLLEGE WOMEN WITH TUITION

EXCERPT:  Lauren's sugar daddy gives her between $500 and $2,500 every time he sees her. She says they meet an average of three times a week, meaning he gives her at least $1,500 a week, but she says sometimes her weekly cash haul from her sugar daddy is more than $4,500. Lauren says she saves the cash to pay for her UMSL tuition.


Missy here!

There's a video and good article at this link including some stats about college women in the Saint Louis Missouri area who are signed up at Sugar Daddy sites. A point made by one of them is that she is going to get out of college without student loan debt.  To me this is about matchmaking with the understanding that one party has money to give and wants to.

Of course there's a psychologist warning that these women don't know what they are getting into, but if women who are smart enough to get into college and succeed in their classes don't know...  Well, that would be like a man who orders a bride from another country not knowing what he's getting into...  There should be precaution.  There should be getting to know one another first before making any sort of commitment.  In any relationship we try to create that is the case.   We never know how it's going to go.  We can have a traditional relationship and it can still end in heartbreak.

There is a concern that these web sites are actually about prostitution but I don't think that because there is more to these relationships than sex and the women seem to be sticking with one sugar daddy at a time, dating him.   To contrast that with prostitution, they are not being pimped, they can end the relationship if they want to, just as the sugar daddy can.  A prostitute doesn't have relationships, meets for the duration of sex, has multiple partners, often on a daily basis and not of her choosing.  At least one of the sites does background checks and none of them see their businesses as prostitution. I also don't think that any of these sites is taking a percentage of any money given or taken by the couple.

I put myself through college and sometimes  when I had to buy books and supplies I didn't even have enough to eat. There were many situations I experienced where students who had more money had more access to opportunities that were important to a career after graduation.

I also want to say that no one seems to think badly of a woman if she manages to be a stay at home wife, totally supported by her husband, without her having children, without her having an education or a career of her own.  It's uncommon now to find a woman, even with small children, who isn't working at least part time.  If a woman goes from being Kept to being a Wife, with the same well-to-do man, it's like she's absolved of all the sin it was assumed she was doing..

I have to say that I don't know of anyone who uses these sites on either end or anyone in a Sugar Daddy - Mistress dating situation that met on line.

(See my next post on the subject where again I express my concerns about prostitution.)

HOW TO PICK AND CHOOSE A MAN (IF YOU MUST)! :OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Dear Missy,

I'm 25 and working as a model.  I have aspirations to be in film.  I live a bi-coastal life.  I make enough money to afford an apartment in New York (with a room mate) and another in Los Angeles (without a room mate).  I travel to model, mostly in the United States.

In New York I have a Sugar Daddy who has been wonderful to me for the last five years. I care for him deeply.  He is unmarried, but he is much older than me.

However, there is another man in Los Angeles who is probably more appropriate for me.  I mean he's closer to my age and we have more in common and are very very attracted to each other.  He's in film. He's married and has made it clear to me that he has no plans to leave his wife and two young children. I'm not in either city that much.  I don't want to marry anyone right now.

What do you think about me having two Sugar Daddy's, one in each coast?

Kelly from Chicago

ANSWER FROM MISSY


Dear Kelly from Chicago,

You mean keep them both?
Certainly men have kept more than one woman in their lives at a time. 

Consider.  First, how good are you at keeping two relationships that have limits going?  You might try it and find yourself unfocused and confused or loose them both.  You might be very good at it since as is you are in and out of town and able to be independent.  It's not for everyone. 

Second, what does each man expect of you when it comes to spending time together and your availability? How often is Sugar Daddy in New York used to seeing you?

A Sugar Daddy may be in love with you, or be the Sugar Daddy to a number of models. 

If there is little to no time to spend, then you may not actually be developing a relationship with the person.  Your New York Sugar Daddy may be very sure of you in his life and may not be as philosophical about you being young and ambitious and on the verge of leaving him.  Are you afraid to break his heart? To loose the benefits he gives you?  I bet you don't want to hurt him, when he has been so kind and generous to you.

Models and actresses meet more men than most women and can often have their pick. So don't feel like you have to pick right now, or settle.  Check in with your feelings. Admit what you want to yourself. Are you trying to have everything (and everyone) your way? Are you ready to say goodbye to Sugar Daddy in New York for good?  And if you do, and the relationship with Mr. Film in Los Angeles ends, then what?

I think you will be meeting more men who are attractive and more men who are willing to mentor you or be your patron and help you move towards greater success.  You can't get lazy about it though.  You still have to show up for auditions and assignments and, if you get movie roles, you'll have to be gone for days or weeks at a time on set.  You can't put your career on hold and be totally available to any man at this point and that is probably very attractive to them.  At the same time you probably haven't spent as much time with Mr. Film in Los Angeles and are guessing at the potential of the relationship. 

Like you I'm speculating.

At the heart of my advice is, always be truthful with yourself, in touch with what you're feeling and thinking.

Missy

DELICIOUS SUGAR DADDY