Showing posts with label Older Women and Younger Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Older Women and Younger Men. Show all posts

Saturday, April 12, 2025

THE FOUNTAINHEAD NOVEL BECOMES A FILM and NATHANIEL BRANDEN COMES INTO THE LIFE OF AYN RAND and HUSBAND FRANK O'CONNOR


Page 211 Excerpt:  (Regarding The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand's novel, which she had worked long and hard on, not being hoped for literary hit or the well received film, which premiered in Hollywood in June 1949 and was seen in Warner Brother's theaters after that.)

But the larger explanation for the disparity lies within Rand's character. She would not admit that she had written a flawed script.  From adulthood, if not before, she positively refused to consider that she bore significant responsibility for any of the conflicts, failures, or disappointments of her life.  "In all the years I knew her, I never heard her say anything remotely to the effect that she had acted badly, mistakenly, or unfairly," recalled a former friend. As her fame increased and she became conscious of her own iconic stature with readers and audiences, she tended increasingly to fuse her life with the lives of her characters, whose mistakes, if any, arose from ignorance of other's bad intentions and not from a lack of objectivity, diplomacy, or wisdom. She remembered obstacles and disappointments less as ordinary, if infuriating, setbacks than as episodes in a tug of war --- like Roark's *a character who appears to be her idealized man), like Equality 7-2521's - with evil. People and events appeared as black or white. She minimized to the vanishing point the help she had received, failed to mention thinkers who had influenced her, and presented herself as a wholly self-created soul. ..."

Page 219 Excerpt: Of all the readers and viewers of The Fountainhead, however, only one had personal meaning for her, she later said. This was a nineteen year old college freshman named Nathan Blumenthal.  A few years after meeting her, he would legally change his name to Nathaniel Branden.

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Book Review/Report:

Nathaniel Brandon had read the novel for the first time at age fourteen... In the fall of 1949, when the Canadian, who was also of Russian-Jewish heritage, was in his first semester at UCLA, he wrote Ayn Rand and began a correspondence with her. Husband Frank suggested she call the young man and she did, inviting him to visit her at the couple's ranch. She was forty-five and a woman of power and he was a college freshman. They talked for nine and a half hours - all night long - about her philosophy and how to make sense of the world. He was invited to come by again. Ayn considered him to be a genius.

Romantically, Nathaniel Brandon was involved with Barbara Weidman, who was also Canadian and of Jewish heritage, also read and loved The Fountainhead, and also was a student at UCLA. He brought her along to meet and talk with Ayn on the next visit. She too was intellectually stimulated by the conversation and Ayn as an example of an intellectual woman. Meanwhile Frank occupied himself with farming enough to have a somewhat successful business of it.  Ayn and Frank had welcomed so many visits from Nathaniel and Barbara that they began to regard them as, and call them "the children."

I wonder, especially because of reports that Frank never initiated sex with Ayn, if Ayn had ever wanted children.

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Excerpt page 230:  Most intriguing to them was her marriage.  O'Connor, who could have posed for an Esquire ad and who exuded warmth, gentility, and wisdom, was unresponsive to philosophical discussion and even to most books, yet Rand, who usually placed the highest premium on analytical intelligence and self-assertion, called him her "top value."  Seated, she would glance around to be sure he was nearby; she continuously touched him and held his hand.  "Frank is my rock," she told Barbara.  To Nathaniel, she said, "He believed in me when no one else did." and "We have the same sense of life." He was silent because he was "Too disgusted with people to share what he is with the world," she told them...."

In the fall of 1950, Rand began touching Nathaniel, too. She sometimes held his hand as they strolled the grounds and talked about their ideas and her work.  Barbara saw nothing odd in the older woman's affections for Nathaniel.....

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Wednesday, December 13, 2023

SHE WAS A SUGAR BABY and NOW SHE'S BACK TO JUST DATING : WHAT'S IT LIKE?

This article was in Refinery and is by Arese Sylvester.  She offers advice on how to play it safe and find the right Sugar Daddy for you.

REFINERY : DATING AFTER BEING A SUGAR BABY

Excerpts:  Dr.Milo Gudelski, licensed psychologist and sex therapist, explains that some sugar babies struggle with recognizing sugar dating as a business and separating it from their personal lives.  When the two get mixed up, expectations may become unreasonable, selfish and problematic. "I have seen this happen where sugar babies get accustomed to receiving gifts simply for showing up.  It is easy for folks to loose themselves in this mindset and when this happens, the ability to form deeper connections in relationship is stunted." ....

The key to sugar dating is protecting your emotions so you can really finesse and get to the bag," says Dash Preistley, dating coach and former sugar baby.  Priestley, who grew up an unaffectionate person, says that sugar dating exacerbated this and emotionally desensitized her.  "I like to think of being a sugar baby as playing a character and you have to turn off this character when you're pursuing something more long term.  Sometimes, you can't really turn it all the way off though."  Another speed bump in the life after sugar dating is met when sugar babies become accustomed to choosing romantic partners for the wrong reasons.  In regular relationships, security is related to several components like shared goals, common values, emotional and intellectual compatibility...



Missy here!

I personally cannot control my emotions to shut them on or off.  I think not feeling, resisting, or devaluing emotions is not healthy.  Also, I have to tell you that I have never used any dating sites.  I think it's best to meet people in person.  I also don't know anyone who found a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mamma using a dating site.  The people I've known who had arrangements met organically and were not hard-core with demands or making arrangements.

Sometimes a woman doesn't think of herself as as Sugar Mamma, just someone who is doing well enough to be generous to a man.  The arrangements I've heard of where that the women did have some expectation that the man would eventually catch up with them financially, because the arrangements that he live with them without contributing or always being on the receiving end eventually did result in them asking the man to move out or a break up.  It seems to me that men still have every advantage when it comes to networking, education, and job opps - some more than others - depending on the work they're in. 

If you're considering an arrangement, check in with yourself and be clear about what you expect.  Be open to some renegotiation.

Wednesday, January 26, 2022

IS COUGER A BAD TERM TO USE ON WOMEN WHO ARE SEXUAL AGRESSORS?

GOOD MEN PROJECT ETHICS : STUFF WE SHOULD STOP DOING : CALLING WOMEN COUGARS  by Yashar Ali.

A terrific think piece...


EXCERPT :  I also think it's important to mention that "cougar" carries a connotation of predatory behavior,  As i, A) the woman could only et the younger man by chasing after him like a rabid animal and B) the woman's personality has no part in the relationship, that the guy she's dating must only be with her so he can have wild, crazy sex or because she's rich.  Or C) where cougars are often portrayed in a desperate ight, as if they have nothing better to do that "chase" after younger men.  yet the men in these relationships aren't insulted or derided, even though they are adults who are consciously deciding to be in relationships with older women.

I urge you to click and learn more about terms such as Trophy Wife, Sugar Daddy, and so on...

Saturday, February 2, 2013

SHE'S A HOT SUGAR MAMA and HE'S HAPPY TO BE KEPT! FEBRUARY 2013 IS SUGAR MAMA AND DADDY MONTH!

I met "Veronica" through friends.  She's in her fifties, has a great sense of her own style and pulls together her signature outfits - just a little showy yet conservative - by shopping vintage and thrift stores, but does she know how to shop!, and is still very pretty, no wrinkles, but then maybe that's because she's pleasingly plump.  Veronia is African American, and only in the last few years has she lived outside the Black community in a more integrated area. 

One day, sitting outside at a cafe lunching with her, a much younger man came by.  He was all smiles and she was blushing deeply, yes like a school girl.  Soon I realized that she was his Sugar Mama.

If you knew Veronica's life story you would be amazed that anyone could make her heart pound so, that she could blush, and have such a crush on any man.  She's overcome a lot of heartbreak and abuse.  Her mother was nowhere for her and her father a torment.

What makes Veronica's lifestyle so different is that she has not only supported herself since she was 16 years old but supported men less than willingly for years. 

Finally, she became independent and then she started supporting younger men by choice

The man who makes her her heart pound and her cheeks blush is 30 years younger than her and he knows he has a good thing going.  Veronica is aware that he is also dating and having sex with women his own age, though she hates to know it, but she still gives him a twenty here, a hundred there; more than once she gave him a couple thousand.  He knows that she is always watching his back and that he will always have a place to stay with her, if he chooses. 

Maybe she knows that the day will come when he leaves those flirtations behind and comes home to roost?

MORE AND MORE OFTEN I OVERHEAR MEN, especially younger men in their twenties, saying that they want to be stay-at-home fathers, or will let their wife work and support them.  They seem to feel very comfortable with the idea, and do not consider themselves to be "gigolos" or take on any other derogatory label.  Is this about the fact that men seem to have much better self esteem overall than women?

These men feel that the relationship is their private business.  They feel entitled to live better than they can afford to on their own income.  Some are artists or musicians and feel that artists have had wealthy patrons for centuries so why not them!

More than once a younger man has looked to me to be generous or support him.  Personally, I have to pass!

This month I celebrate the Sugar Mamas and Sugar Daddys out there!  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 

Missy