Tuesday, May 23, 2017

SNOWDEN FILM by OLIVER STONE : MISTRESS MANIFESTO FILM REVIEW

I think PRIVACY is a major issue for all of us, but perhaps especially for Mistresses, those women (and sometimes men who I call Mantresses) who have relationships ongoing with men who they are not married to, who are often married legally to someone else.  (I note that you don't have to be committing adultery to be Kept or to be Kept.)  At the beginning of this month, I elected the "girlfriend" of Edward Snowden, Lindsay Mills, as an honorary mistress of the month.  I think that Lindsay's relationship with Edward has a lot of mistress characteristics, in particular that he has provided financial support, adventure, and she has made living with him in numerous locations around the world - now reportedly Russia, over her own dancer career.  She has provided support to Edward emotionally, and other unsaid benefits to having a girlfriend.  But there is no adultery apparent in their relationship.  Not only are they not married to others, they are not married to each other.  So I promised you I would write a review after I got my copy.


Last night I saw the film SNOWDEN by Oliver Stone for the first time. I was disappointed that the story cut off before the "stuck in the Russian International Terminal" episode because by ending before this the references to assistance by Julian Assange/WikiLeaks/Sarah Harrison is omitted, and so much else.  Because Stone says their relationship is extremely important to the film, I frankly expected to see more of it. the film shows their first in person meeting after connecting through a web site called GeekMate in Washington DC, and makes certain that we know they have both been surrounded by family members and friends who work for the U.S. Government. However there is a dramatic scene of a loud argument between them in which Edward is the workaholic and financial support and responsible one who says she lives in a "fairytale."


In another scene, Edward suggests she go home to her parents. Which she does.


However, the bonus interview was a bit more interesting.  Edward Snowden says the argument scene makes him look like the world's worst boyfriend.  He also compliments Lindsay exceedingly for forgiving him, understanding him, and continuing to be supportive of him by not quitting their relationship and being there in Russia for him.  I would have loved it if Lindsay had also been interviewed live from Russia.  I just don't know that the actress Shailene Woodley "became" Lindsay Mills or not.  There are many photos of Lindsay on the Internet and on YouTube, many she owns or originally posted.  But I have no sense of her personality really.


I completely agree with the statements Edward Snowden makes about the VALUE OF PRIVACY and the difference between what you CHOOSE to put on the Internet and someone else does.  He says our lack of privacy due to the Internet in general, e-mail, cell phones, and much else recording us has caused us to LOOSE THE ABILITY TO MAKE MISTAKES.


I the last few days, I attended a meeting where a photographer showed up and the person leading the meeting gave casual permission, jokingly to photo us.  I went with it but later worried about how I might appear and that the photo might be used out of context with the purpose for the meeting.  Yesterday as I talked to my neighbor as he watered his lawn, another neighbor who is a wedding photographer decided to practice his drone photography by hovering over us.  Of course, without our permission.  My neighbor mentioned using drones for photography was now popular for wedding photographers.  I must be getting more old fashioned by the moment.  I dislike photographers inside wedding ceremonies and think the wedding party should go take photos elsewhere, such as a studio, like they used to.  When someone brags to me about photographing or videoing the birth of their child I think "is nothing sacred?"


So, I thought Oliver Stone did a good job of presenting to us a likeable and believable Edward Snowden, a Patriot, and a Whistleblower, which is opposite that Edward Snowden portrayed by Edward Epstein in his book which I talked about earlier this month.  The film is very popular.  I was on a wait list of several hundred people with over 50 copies making the rounds.


Missy


C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

HONG KONG BOAC and A MESSAGE FROM MISSY ON COMMENTS


 Missy here! 
I was just looking through COMMENTS today and found some Spam as well as a few very nice posts that I could not post because they contained personal information such as e-mail addresses.  Generally, I may post a good comment that appears under a related post that has a link to your own Noncommercial Blog or Website, but if you put an e-mail address I won't.  I have no way of knowing for sure that you're the actual owner of that e-mail but even if you are, it doesn't seem safe or smart to. To expose an e-mail like that is a great way for you to be badly spammed yourself.
I heard from one of the authors of a book I posted who thanked me but also wanted my review to be used on Amazon. Thanks for the compliment but Amazon ownership is incredibly wealthy. In fact Jeff B. is one of the richest men in the world. And I'm not at all.  Why should my hard work at  buying or borrowing books, reading, writing a review, and posting, be used or owned by anyone but me? If you want to link from  your official author blog to my review, that's respectful. Sometimes I spend many hours on my subject. So no I am not giving my Copyright over to one of the riches men in the world. And don't you either!
Which brings up the fact that though I do all that work, the profiles of Kept Men and Women and other topics here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO are not biographies.  I'm always open to your comments, including if you politely disagree with me, but please also provide some references, such as the name of the book or a link to an article that defies the stance I've decided to take.  I can't read them all but I just might.  Also, sometimes I will use more than one book and post and review the other book(s) later in the month.
I try to post images that are OK to use for NONPROFIT BLOGS and WEB SITES, some in the Public Domain, some not.  If you copy an image I have searched for and used here and are making bucks using it or making bucks on the site where you used it, let me remind you that's not the usual Copyright or Fair Use agreement and You may end up in trouble!
Finally, though I don't write for hits, I do look at stats and I do hope that those of you who are attracted to this site looking for the most scandalous stories will read more and come to understand that for every one mistress who was considered scandalous and so had a book or books written about her, or who wrote her own memoir, there were probably at least a thousand others who continued to live private lives.  The purpose of this blog is not to out people so much as to come to understand that there was no one way for a women (or man) to become or be a Mistresses (or Kept).  So, do me a favor and go further with your reading  about Dawn Shiller, and Faith Domergue to women like our Honorary Mistress of May 2017, Lindsay Mills, to Isadora Duncan or Georgia O'Keefe. Take a look in PAGES where I've been keeping a list of all the topics!  I guarantee your understanding will deepen, even your feminism may deepen, as has mine!  Missy

Sunday, May 14, 2017

MOTHERS DAY - DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Love Your Mummy


There are so very many ways to love, something that Mistresses seem to know well. After all, their love is not always sanctioned by legal marriage. As a result, in order to avoid possible scandal, and to keep their relationship "as is," a mistress often accepts that she will never marry the person she loves, and keeps to a separate social group. If she has chosen well, she suffers less than the woman who has no love at all, and if years go by, it's quite possible she will have children, "extra matrimonial" children, who deserve all her love too.

What about her own mother?  Some Mistresses have mothers who have also been Mistresses, some Mistresses have mothers who have been kept from the truth, and some mothers are in the know but do not approve.

Some people have mothers who are easy to love, and some not, still, whatever your situation, try to love your mummy.  Don't forget her on this very American holiday.  Give her a call.  Tell her what you love about her.

"Today is the day that I express my love to the mother or mothers who deserve my love."

Thursday, May 11, 2017

SNOWDEN the FILM : OLIVER STONE ON HIS FILM

Stone did lots of research including in person interviews in Russia, and even bought the rights to the spy novel (a first) that Edward Snowden's Russian Lawyer, who Edward Epstein wrote is a personal friend of Vladimir Putin, for a million dollars.


Here's Stone on why Edward Snowden's RELATIONSHIP is what makes it a dramatic story:


Edward's Parents went to the premier of the film, and spoke to the actor who portrayed him:

I'm waiting on a copy and will post a review after I see the film for myself! Missy
I'm still waiting on May 19th but am told I'll have my copy before the month is over!

Saturday, May 6, 2017

HOW AMERICA LOST ITS SECRETS by EDWARD JAY EPSTEIN : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW



There are thousands of news articles to read around Edward Snowden, as well as a documentary film, CitizenFour, and a fictive, Oliver Stone produced film, Snowden, to watch, to form an opinion of Snowden, and what he and our United States government did.  I've been following the EDWARD SNOWDEN STORY for years, since I first heard this American was in a Moscow airport bolt hole, along with Sarah Harrison of Wikileaks, who was instrumental in getting him to Russia.  But maybe he knew he was heading there all along.

When I went looking for a well researched book to read to try and understand more, the librarian suggested this one, as Edward Jay Epstein in a respected journalist and author.  This is investigative journalism, and it's persuasive:  Edward Snowden does fit the definition of Spy, as we generally, and certainly our government has, not just in this case, but historically.  His activities to steal information and expose it, and his way to Russia, all of it, did not happen nilly willy.  It was a concentrated, possibly orchestrated (by Russia) effort, and he planned it and he knew what he was doing.

Check out this article by Glenn Greenwald on website theintercept.com entitled WHY HAS TRUST IN MEDIA COLLAPSED? Dated March 30, 2017, goes against Epstein, as he is one of those who made a case for Snowden's spy status by bringing up what I'll call "Snowden's Missing in Hong Kong days."  https://theintercept.com/2017/03/30/why-has-trust-in-media-collapsed-look-at-wjs-yahoo-business-insider-and-slate/

An excerpt:  Greenwald wrote, "Contrary to the fable these outlets dispensed to their readers — that Snowden did not check in to the Mira Hotel on May 21 as he claimed but only did so on June 1, 11 days later — these new documents, obtained from the Mira, prove that Snowden arrived there exactly when he always said, rendering their published stories factually false"  Greenwald goes on to say that Edward Jay Epstein used this incorrect information as a "linchpin" in his book, "How America Lost It's Secrets."

I do not agree with Greenwald that "Snowden's Missing in Hong Kong days," are the linchpin of proof that he is a spy or that this error is what Epsteins book relies on as proof that Snowden is a spy for Russia (or possibly China.)  No Epstein really does slowly and factually build a case, and like the film maker Oliver Stone, he did a lot of interviewing and talking to experts.  I conclude that while Snowden says he wants to return to the U.S. if he is guaranteed a fair trial, a fair trial would have to include much of what Epstein has brought forth.
Since this book is a page turner and I can't reference the whole thing in a blog post, I'll just go over some of the important information.

- Sarah Harrison of Wikileaks, created the flight to Cuba that journalists tried to get on to follow the story (and many other flights booked at the same time) to create confusion and a diversion.
- When the plane they were on landed in Russia, where Snowden should not have been allowed in without a Visa, officials met the plane, took them off it before other passengers  could deplane, and knew to receive them and where to hide them.  While in Hong Kong he'd talked to some Russian officials.  He did not apply for Visas to other countries while there.
- He methodically and intelligently planned his employment to access what he wanted to steal.
- In Chapter 16, "The Question of When,"  and Chapter 15, "Did Snowden Act Alone?" we learn that he had to have gotten the passwords to up to 24 vaults that he could not have in his previous - pre NSA - employment which suggests that he may have not been alone in all this.  At least one other person could have been in the plot, but it seems Snowden was going to be the guy to take the solo public blame. Was he recruited by the KGB based on the fact that he was a disgruntled employee?
- In Chapter 13, we learn that Snowden stole over 900,000 military files, and that the vast majority of the documents he had, which would make him valuable to our enemies,  do not involve domestic surveillance of ordinary people who are not criminal or terrorists.
- Snowden has a history of lying about his employment, reasons for being let go, and his income and has used health issues that were made up, since his brief stay in the military.  He also mislead - manipulated the journalists he selected to tell his story, using journalism as public relations.
WHERE DOES THIS LEAVE LINDSAY MILLS?  Edward Jay Epstein doesn't say it but I will. Most likely he isn't so compartmentalized as to be honest with her.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

THE LOVELY LINDSAY MILLS : EDWARD SNOWDEN'S MISTRESS? : HONORARY MISTRESS OF THE MONTH!



This image found in Google image search under Lindsay Mills Wiki


EDWARD SNOWDEN HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF SPYING FOR RUSSIA.


HER FRIENDS NEVER MET HIM, so they wondered if he really existed.  (Mistress credentials begin to accumulate!)

Her father, Jonathan Mills, back in 2013 when the international drama was first unfolding, said that she and Edward Snowden, the techie employed as a contractor for Booz Allen Hamilton, who secretly downloaded millions of documents belonging to the NSA (National Security Agency: a US federal defense bureau established in 1972 that specializes in cryptography) and fled the United States to Hong Kong and then Russia, had been "dating" for four or five years.  Dating? That's an understatement. Like what?  Ed picked Lindsay up in his car and took her out to the movies on Saturday nights?  But then dad admitted he didn't always know where in the world she was. Which again, gives the lovely Lindsay mistress credentials; traveling to be with her man, and to foreign countries where she cannot expect to earn her own income. This woman is either an heiress or Kept. Who was paying for all that travel and her living expenses?  If dad was picking up the tab wouldn't he know where his daughter was?  Needless to say, she may not have been working to support herself because you can't go just get a job in foreign countries without being hired by an American Company there first or having special Visas and work permits.

According to respected journalist/author Edward Epstein (book below), and other sources, including Lindsay herself, Lindsay has so far lived with Edward Snowden in Russia, Hong Kong (prior to his run there), Hawaii, Switzerland, Japan, not to mention locations in the continental United States.  She is stuck on him!

Lindsay Mills is Edward Snowden's very best, possibly only real friend, lover, and confidant.  Yet, he says he told her nothing about what he was doing, as he very purposely got himself hired to complete the methodical work of stealing documents that began before he worked for Booz Allen Hamilton on NSA work.  He says he didn't want to implicate her.  And she's not.

Lindsay's educated, a graduate of Maryland Institute College of Art, a ballerina, true, and she is also an acrobat and pole dancer, but paying work?  She would not be the first Mistress to travel with and be the emotional support of a man with a good income and though she blogs and poses for selfies, some of which appear professional, she's all about her relationship.

No reason to think there's an adultery in this relationship.

But then you don't have to be married to be Kept!
From our Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot perspective, the question of how devious or manipulative or honest this sincere-seeming boy next door type with the hot Mistress is, has bearing on how we perceive his long relationship with Lindsay.  Maybe these two are soul mates, and maybe neither of them believe in marriage.  It's a "institution" after all. Maybe she can forgive him anything!  Maybe they're the Odd Couple?
Seems to me Lindsay Mills was thrust into the spotlight because of her man's activities, and because of this infamy, she is being used (in a nice way) to normalize Ed and their unconventional relationship.  Back in the day people would say that Lindsay's "beautiful enough to marry," which was meant as a compliment but had a way of slapping down women whose best attributes were not their looks.  But they haven't. We actually don't know what their deal is as a couple.  Because of all the years they have together surely they have one.  I suspect one thing that's part of it is that Lindsay not ask questions. (Familiar to any of you Mistresses out there?) After all those years, it's said she was ready to marry him.  Detractors on the Internet surmised that he had taken whistleblowing and fleeing as a way to avoid marriage too.

While Edward must have been about to implode as he calmly went to work each day, figuring out how to get passwords beyond his security clearance and do extensive downloading on thumbdrives, steadily acquiring documents that he agreed as an employee he would protect, Lindsey seemed to be exposing not only her body but the emotional rollercoaster she was on in her relationship on the internet.  Maybe they each have a different relationship to the issue or privacy.

She poetically wrote on her blog in June of 2013, when the truth that her man was not just on a business trip hit:

"My world has opened and closed all at once.  Leaving me lost at sea without a compass.  Surely there will be villainous pirates, distracting mermaids, and tides of change in this new open water chapter of my journey..."

I watched a number of YouTube videos that are still up from that time that have inaccurate information, in particular that they'd broken up. I think about the term "fake news" which has made us all question how much we read is opinion and how much is journalism and how much is opinion sold as journalism.  (At the end of the month I will ask you to make comments on a series of questions I have about these two. I do try and reference books, news articles, interviews, and so on as a basis for what is my opinion.)

I was riveted to learn that about the same time as she was in shock, and he was holed up in Russia, she and Ed were texting! 

In 2014, our Honorary Mistress of the Month - LINDSAY MILLS - began living with Ed, who is either a whistleblower or spy, hero or traitor or patriot,  in exile in Russia - following her heart once again - although it's not clear to me what her entry and stay requirements are; She may actually come and go, thus validating her self description as a "vagabond." What's not reported is if she too has a deal with Russia, like he most certainly does, to be there. 

One thing for sure, the reportage on Lindsay is comparatively minimalistic compared to the thousands of news articles that have come out since Edward Snowden was reportedly going to transfer on a plane to Cuba and did a no show, and Sarah Harrison of Wikileaks fame, turned out to be stuck with him in the puzzling zone of the International Airport in Moscow where reporters searched to find them.
*****************************



https://citizenfourfilm.com/

CITIZENFOUR WON THE ACADEMY AWARD for DOCUMENTARY FILM
*****************************
I watched the documentary CitizenFour, at home on a DVD.  It was interesting and suspenseful, even though I knew the outcome. I believed Edward Snowden was right to expose United States governmental spying on citizens through their cyber and cell phone use, but I also think that the United States needs to be secured and it turns out he took much more information than I thought.
Dressed beautifully, was Lindsay at the side of the filmmakers on the stage to accept their awards.  It was said that she was there to represent Edward.
***

 When I hear that Ed doesn't believe he will get a fair trial in the United States but would come back here if he was guaranteed one, I think, "but a fair trial would present at least as much as Edward Epstein's book, and he still might go to prison for the rest of his life."

Then, what happens to Lindsay?  She loves him.  But I ask you, if Lindsay was your best girlfriend or your sister would you tell her to stay with Edward or move on?

At the time Edward, 29, left Hawaii without explanation, Lindsay Mills, 28, even called herself a "superhero."  Of course she has a sense of humor.  In Hawaii, she was left stymied and had to answer the door when investigators came calling looking for her man, who had lied to his superiors at work to buy time.

She blogged, L's Journey (LSJOURNEY.COM went down for a while but is back up.) She also was extremely open on her blog about the emotional chaos she was in, when she returned home from a trip to a note that he would be gone on a business trip for a while.  Understatement of the Century - thus far!  But then Ed has a history of self mocking avatars, as well as stretching the truth about his titles, responsibilities, and pay; he lies. Were his lies to keep his privacy, to cover his activities, or what?

On her blog, she reveals her body in many provocative selfies that are titillating, showing off her sometimes androgynous, sensibly muscular dancer - acrobat body.  Some of this photos are so well staged and lit that they appear to be professional photographs.  Ed thinks she's beautiful.  So do I. 
**********************************


https://snowdenfilm.com/


He hadn't informed her that he was abandoning her in favor of being a real Superhero of sorts, letting Americans and the countries thought to be our Allies know that they were being spied on in vast data collections.  (I hope to watch this film before the month is over!)

**********************************





This book is the primary reference for this month concerning Edward Snowden and his long time Mistress (my judgment call) Lindsay Mills.  I've also read a dozens of recent articles on the Internet seeking information about their relationship. I've been reading around Edward Snowden, Julian Assange, Wikileaks and the subject of privacy since I first heard there was an American stuck inside the terminal of an International airport in Moscow. I wanted to know "where is he really?" In an hourly motel room?  Off premises and in the hands of the KGB?  Alive?  Dead? 

Among the many articles I read in my search for Lindsay are the following:
DAILY BEAST by Caroline Linton : snowden-s-girlfriend-writes-all-i-feel-is-alone
VANITY FAIR :snowden-girlfriend-lindsay-mills-Oscars
BUZZ FEED: This is Edward Snowden's Girlfriend (Great Photos!)

C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights 
If interested in Russia related Mistresses, you  may want to search this blog for:
February 2011  Alina Kabaeva and Vladimir Putin
February 2016  Isadora Duncan (After having been the Mistress  of Paris Singer, she kept and married a famous, much younger Russian poet.) or run words like Russia, or dancer, or Slavic!

Sunday, April 30, 2017

COMING UP! THIS WOMAN WITH AN INFAMOUS "BOYFRIEND" FITS MANY OF MY "KEPT WOMEN" CRITERIA

Once in a while we speculate...  We already know that being Kept doesn't always involve adultery, especially not when so many couple choose to live together a long time before they marry, if they marry at all.






I'll keep you guessing - just a bit!


Missy

Saturday, April 29, 2017

READING e-BOOKS for MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT

Hello Readers!

In December 2016 I finally decided to try reading by e-book.  Basically, I've always been a book lover - a book worm - and one who uses libraries, goes to books sales and bookstores and book fairs. I always seems to have two or three books to read at a time.  For this blog I like to read at least one well regarded book before choosing my subject matter such as the Mistress of the Month but sometimes I read books that I reject or two or three or four.  I also read magazine articles and news on line, including some old archived articles.  Then I'm ready to make a decision and take a position. 

I've learned over the last few months that there are some true positives for reading by e-book.  One is saving me time, though I still do visit my library and read paper.  I check to see if a book I want to read is available as an e-book and sometimes after a chapter or so I decide the books isn't appealing and that saves me borrowing or buying it.  Another is that I can use the search in Overdrive(my app) to scan the book before I read it to see if there is much reference to the person or subject that I want to learn about.  For instance, more than one mistress featured at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT has so been in the shadows that you might have to read a few books to find a mention of her name.  I know I can count on the book being mine to read for 21 days reading an e - sometimes renewable several times - before I can take notes.  I still take notes by hand - sometimes hundreds of pages.  I go back to the bookmarked pages when I'm taking notes to see if I still feel the information on those pages is relevant.

Of course books are the work of writers - authors - and really when I reference a book that's more than a year or two old it's like revaluing the work.  I look at this blog as a way to introduce my readers to many of these talented, skilled, ambitious, and determined people who have managed to produce an entire manuscript, market it, get agents, get PR, and then - some of them - do that again.  As I understand it, the initial push to market a book is when they make it or break it financially.
If there is a mistress you know about that you think would make a good subject, please leave a comment.  Any books you'd recommend?  That too!

As part of the Google Blogger there are stats.  I look at these once in a while and see that many people are reading MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT on their cell phone. Although some of the most popular posts have "legs of their own" and so take dominance when you use the Internet to find the blog or information about someone of interest to you, I encourage you to seek a bit further, read another month, use the archives to see who else might interest you, because truly, many hours are put into each and every subject!

Thanks for reading!
Missy

Thursday, April 27, 2017

WOULD YOU DUMP YOUR BEST FRIEND IF SHE BECAME A MISTRESS? : MISSY ASKS YOU!

Some people are more Mistress Friendly than others.  It might depend upon the person, what she's like before she becomes a Mistress, and what your friendship was like before she became one of the many women (and men) who has send Yes to non-Traditional relationship.


Missy

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

CITY OF STYLE by MELISSA MAGSAYSAY : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW



Melissa Macsaysay wrote this book and it's C 2012

WANT TO "GO HOLLYWOOD" with your personal fashion statement?  Well, Southern California, in particular the city of Los Angeles, has zones of fashion understanding, which include the Romantic Bohemians, Glamour (what you usually think of as Hollywood), the Rockers (a lot of space devoted to Once Upon a Time Groupie Pamela Des Barres who I've featured here last September on Groupie month), Skaters and Surfers (based on Preppie!),Chola-Style, Indie-Eclectic, Casual-Chic, and well, whatever you can come up with!  It might have something to do with where you live or hang out, Silver Lake and Los Feliz being different than Beverly Hills.

This book comes with lots of photos of good looking well dressed people who are the epitome of style in each category, what a basic wardrobe consists of, as well as referrals to some of the best stores in the area to buy clothing and accessories that you desire.

I loved this quote from someone named China Chow, " More than any place I can think of, LA is a true collage-city; desert, ocean, mountains, hills, urban centers, and suburban flats - and the style is by nature varied, complex, camera ready, and yes, incredibly relevant and influential."  (It's in the Indie-Eclectic category.)

Did you know that Los Angeles is the denim capital of the world, even though many manufacturers took their blue jeans making to other, cheaper countries?  When they left, they left the facilities for the smaller, designer brands to lodge themselves in and the result has been innovation and caring about the details.  An excellent fitting pair of jeans may be the basis for an LA wardrobe.


As for me, although I have a rocker alter ego hidden somewhere in me, I'm in the Casual Chic category with the Casual Bohemian (think Laurel Canyon in the Mama Cass era).  Now off I go to the stores recommended to see what they've got for sale!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

HEF's 91 and NOT ALL EX BUNNIES REGRET KNOWING HIM - Pamela Anderson and birthday news

HUGH HEFNER, the founder of Playboy Magazine and Playboy Enterprises recently celebrated his 91st birthday. According to various news articles he released a Soundtracks of My Life CD on Amazon shortly before.  The magazine itself had stopped having nude photo spreads.  They are back, though his 25 year old son's taste in nudies may be different than Hef's, who liked the "girl next door" (available) look.  Some of the old girlfriends apparently don't regret their experience or have the manners to still say happy birthday.


HEFNER is known for backing 1st Amendment Rights and some philanthropy including supporting the CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT group which helps teens who have turned to prostitution. CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT

Monday, April 17, 2017

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Being a Girlfriend Who'se Good and True - Fair and Foul Weather Friend

Reading Holly Madison's memoir about living in the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's Girlfriends, and then as the Main Girlfriend, and how she survived it, made me sad.  Despite being called a "Girlfriend" she had no good and true friends in the situation, and the situation was her life, unless you count one of the older women who had been with Hef as an assistant for decades who seemed to be there for her a little.  (I'm skeptical.)

Holly would hope for someone new to be a friend, even recruit one, but the new woman's competitiveness or personality or drug addiction would soon end that hope. Who was there to speak with intelligence about any of her interests or real feelings?  Not Hef.  He chauvinistically had his circle of men friends for that. It does seem like his type was Blonde Bimbo, and Holly was willing to pretend to be that and act as if. She was alone and lonely surrounded by people.

It's always possible to have a "girlfriend" who is actually a man, gay or straight, platonic. There is something to be said for having other women, who live in a female body, and have female body issues like you do, as a friend.  I'm using the term girlfriend here to mean someone you are not sexual or romantic with.  (I know it may sound a little old fashioned or confuse some people but I don't mean necessarily a lesbian romance.) 

They say it takes being one to have one.  So, be a Good and True friend to at least one other woman.  Be that person who can listen well, understand or try to, have empathy, and be trustworthy. Be there when she needs you.  Save her reputation. Help her get good work. As in all relationships there has to be some give and take, as well as being both responsible for keeping the relationship going, no matter what's going on. 

Choose her well.  Then stick with her.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

WHAT HUGH HEFNERS GIRLFRIENDS GOT FINANCIALLY as MEMBERS OF HIS TRAVELING HAREM


DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE  Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny  by Holly Madison

Notes and Commentary from Missy

Notes from pages  75 and 79:

Holly says in her book that Hugh Hefner (and members of his staff, some of whom had offices in the Mansion), watched what the girlfriends were doing with their $1000 a week allowances. The girlfriends were considered to be part of the marketing and public relations team for Hefner and the Playboy Enterprises business, but they were also expected to have sex with the boss. The $1000 a week was expected to be spent on lingerie and sexy clothing that they could be seen in around town when they went clubbing two nights a week as well at parties at the Mansion. For some time they were expected to go out two nights a week and then return to the Master Bedroom where some or all of them would have sex.

***
There were many rules they had to follow to continue living at the Mansion, including a relatively early 9 PM curfew when not out with Hef - and for years Holly obeyed that, while many of the girls had outside boyfriends and would sneak in and out, she refrained.  Whoever was the "main girlfriend" shared the Master Bedroom with Hef, and most nights might just spend time watching TV or reading side by side, but the others had bedrooms on the same floor.

***
Notes from Page 136

Circa 2008, Playboy Enterprises, not Hef personally, owned the Mansion, and the company had not been profitable for some time, despite so much effort to stay relevant.  He paid the company RENT for the bedrooms, so if no one was occupying a room, no rent for that room was paid.  This many be why he went from six to only three girlfriends.  He paid $25,000 a MONTH for his master suite, at that time $12,000 a month for a room used by Kendra, $10,000 a MONTH for one used by Bridget, with smaller rooms going for $5000 to $7000 a month.


(I'm thinking that the girlfriends were tax deductible!)

***
A common request that was usually granted to a girlfriend was that Hef pay for cosmetic procedures.  Holly had paid for her own breast enlargement as a college student but she asked Hef to pay for a nose job, which he did.

They had their food, shelter, and clothing, as payment for their services.  He paid for their nights out, their dates, and sometimes that included travel.

The girlfriends also had their hair and other beauty services done at the Jose Eber Hair Salon, at least a couple times a week, at no charge to them.

At Christmas time Hef would give each girl money to spend on the others for gifts, about $500 for each girl.  One year Holly had about $3500 to spend on the other girlfriends.  Sometimes they attempted to purchase the same gift for each person, say the same handbags, or the same skirt, so that they would have a unified look when they went out.



Wednesday, April 12, 2017

HUGH HEFNER CELEBRATES HIS 91ST BIRTHDAY - NOT ALL PLABOY BUNNIES HAVE HIM ON THEIR SHIT LIST!

USMAGAZINE - HEFNER 9st BED and NEW DOCUSERIES
EXCERPT: The revolutionary magazine, which debuted in 1953, has gone through many changes in the past 63 years. This past February, Hugh Hefner’s son Cooper, 25, who serves as Playboy’s chief creative officer, announced that the magazine would bring back nude models after instating a short-lived ban. "I'll be the first to admit that the way in which the magazine portrayed nudity was dated but removing it entirely was a mistake,” Cooper explained. "Nudity was never the problem because nudity isn't a problem. Today we're taking our identity back and reclaiming who we are.”


Missy here:  Not every Playboy Model or Playboy Bunny has regrets.  Notably, Pamela Anderson seems quite happy with what Hugh Hefner did for her - a start as an actress and model. In my Opinion, while it's important to hone your beauty, when a woman is best known for it, especially when she models nude, she may have a difficult time being taken seriously.

Monday, April 10, 2017

SHE PLAYS AT BEING A BUNNY

This vintage drawing of a small child trying to charm a rabbit is so cute. It was drawn by Jessie Willcox Smith. She was an American illustrator who lived from 1863-1935.


Saturday, April 8, 2017

HOLLY MADISON on LIFE AS A GIRLFRIEND of HUGH HEFNER at the PLAYBOY MANSION : DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

EXCERPTS/ NOTES from
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE  Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny  by Holly Madison

Pages 66 and 68 and 72:

"Inside the mansion, life wasn't at all like what I dreamed it would be.  Instead of a nightly slumber party with six of your best friends, I had entered the lions den.  It gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "keep your enemies close" and made a sorority house look like Bible Study.

...  He ( Hugh Hefner) decided he wasn't going to make any more of his girlfriends Playmates, but he never told that to anyone. He dangled the possibility of Playmate-hood in order to keep the girl's interested. The more aggressive girlfriends would take whatever measures necessary to secure a centerfold, even ruthlessly throwing another girl under the bus, if that meant she would gain favor with him.

Prior to moving into the mansion, I'd been a fairly confident person  but it didn't take long for my self-worth to start to crumble.  After being identified by the other girlfriends as persona non grata, I had become the victim of their ruthless "mean - girl-ing."  .... According to their ruthless taunting I was the "hick girl" from Nowheresville, USA.  They found my optimistic attitude corny and my confidence threatening so they did whatever they could to tear me down.  Sadly, I have to say it worked...

... I was so constantly on edge that I eventually developed a stammer

Notes from Missy

Throughout the book, Hugh Hefner is characterized as a manipulator who likes it that the women are fighting over him and so with each other. 

Sunday, April 2, 2017

HOLLY MADISON : HUGH HEFNER'S HAREM BUNNY FAVORITE : MISTRESS OF THE MONTH


HOLLY MADISON
SEVEN YEARS  * OF HER LIFE WAS SPENT IN HUGH HEFNER's
 GO NOWHERE - TRAVELING HAREM

Today she's married to Pasquelle Rotella and is a mother and entertainer... I'm just recently familiar with HOLLY MADISON.


You may have heard about HOLLY MADISON's expose memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole, which is about living at the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's live in "girlfriends" since there has been a lot of public relations happening in conjunction with this book that came out last year. You may also know Holly from watching reality television (The Girls Next Door) or perhaps saw her striptease show in Vegas called Peepshow at Crazy Horse Paris.  Since I've never watched a reality television show but just recently heard of the sale of the Playboy Mansion (with a guarantee that Hugh Hefner be able to live there, in the 20,000 plus square foot home, for the rest of his life), it was the real estate deal that brought my interest around to reading  Holly's book.

In her book she makes the case that while she did live to regret living at the Playboy Mansion with Hugh Hefner as one of the girlfriends her biggest fear was that forever more, after she left, she would be made to pay the price. As much as she says she made peace with it, you get the feeling she's still in process. She'd even suffered a severe depression, saw a psychiatrist against Hef's wishes, and went on a psyche med to endure her life there as a very Kept woman (my words not hers.)  Yet, while most girlfriends lasted six months if that, and many more women were brought in for a night of adventure and left, Holly kept on, thinking she loved the man old enough to be her grandfather, Hef.  She wanted to marry him and have children with him, all the while hoping to become a centerfold model.  She says, "Foolishly, I'd long believed that becoming a Playboy Centerfold was the fast track to fame and fortune.  Boy, was I wrong.  There have been more than 720 Playmates in Playboy's history.  How many of them can you name?  (Page 116)


Make no mistake about it though, that is 20 20 hindsight. Holly had the goal of becoming a Playmate of the Month when she was just a teenager. She doesn't seem to have been overly shy, though claiming she was terrified at first about posing nude, or at all concerned about morality, or what it might all mean for her sexually, though she admits early on that the other girlfriends lied to her at first, claiming they did not actually have sex with Hugh Hefner as part of their live-in girlfriend deal. Once she was presented to Hugh, she did have sex with him and, it goes unsaid, some of them, even if they were supposed to be secretive about that. 

This story is about PLAYBOY but don't expect any sex scenes in the book. You'll get the idea that twice a week all the girlfriends went into Hugh's bedroom after going out to clubs, that he proffered Qualudes which he called "thigh openers" (which she didn't take) and that some of them were using Cocaine (which she didn't take) and drinking (which she did).  Then they danced for him, or stripped for him, or whatever, maybe with each other, for his entertainment. Considering that these women were often Mean Girls who otherwise made each other's lives miserable, that must have been some acting!

In Holly's  book she uses the terms harem, traveling harem, Mistress, and Concubine.  She does not use the term Kept, but I will, and later in the month give you a list of the financial incentives or pay, while I wonder if somehow Playboy Enterprises made the Girlfriends tax deductions.

How does a small town girl go from there to here?


Playboy magazines could be found in the home she grew up in, and when the magazine went looking for possible playmates for their "Millennium Playmates" auditions all over the United States, she was one of the young women who showed up when the bus came to Portland.  She bought a silver bikini and had herself photographed.  Nothing came of it.  A whole hell of a lot of young beautiful women had the goal of being a Playmate back in 1999, and many of them had some idea of how to please; look like Pamela Anderson, or maybe Jenny McCarthy, or best - Marilyn Monroe, who had been on the first cover of the magazine in the 1950's.


Holly was so sure that she had to be in Los Angeles, that she changed from an Oregon state to private college so that she could live near Hollywood and Playboy, and double majored, with a strong interest in acting.  She was also so sure that she needed larger breasts that she forked over three charge cards to pay about $7,000 for the cosmetic surgery.  So, with D cups, she easily got a job at the Hooters Restaurant, said to be a great place for a waitress to get tips, what with those tiny shorts riding up. She was also a Hawaiian Tropics Girl as a sort of spokesmodel who showed up at events in swimwear.  She was invited to the Playboy mansion party after a man who was Hugh Hefner's private physician, and familiar with his taste in women, saw her at a Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest in Beverly Hills. Hefner's Midsummer Night's Dream Party required sleepwear.  She showed up in a black Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie set.  She was a woman who had the intelligence for college but who seems to be set on making it based on looks.


To her credit, Holly had been working hard - college, extra shifts at Hooters restuarant, and she got an acting agent and went on auditions and had a few bit parts.  She wasn't lazy, and she took risks and had goals.  Still, she needed a lucky break.


In debt, she'd been living in a hotel room with another student who was leaving. She would have been homeless with $100 left in her pocket, and she faced having to go home to her small Oregon town.  Or, she could manage to get invited to live at the Playboy Mansion as a girlfriend.  She was never happy there, she says with hindsight, and maybe the worst of it was learning that not only did other girlfriends manage to have outside boyfriends, but some of them were working as high priced escorts for a local Madam, and one of them tried to recruit her.

Please readers, don't think I'm putting Holly way down. It's just that her book left me so very many questions, and the idea that she had kind of co-signed what we politely call B.S. for so many years, even when she was no longer na├»ve about what was going on, makes me wonder if she understands how severely abused she let herself be. Is the fact that she is one Playboy Bunny who has managed to get other work, to make a few million on her own, enough to compensate for the years she spent being only a Girlfriend?

You decide! 
 


I was thinking a bit about a previous Mistress of the Month, Jillian Lauren, who became part of the Harem of the Sultan of Brunei.  She was specifically recruited for a harem and while maybe none of us can know for sure ahead of time if we'd like it, she seemed to have known what she was getting into.

Hugh Hefner really did have a harem, as I see it, though the situations are not identical because Hefner didn't have the near unlimited funds that the Sultan of Brunei did.  Man sharing is something we look at here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, and the women in a harem do share a man, and he does the choosing of which women get to stay, and for how long, though the question of leaving when a woman wants to may not be as clear. 

Jillian had been as escort before she got her invitation to travel across the world and stay as the  willing captive who was sometimes rewarded  very well financially, who also felt competitive with the other women and wanted to be the favorite. Today this lifestyle seems to be so much more based on sexuality than a Classic Mistress situation in which a woman is like a second wife to a man, however it seems to me that women, whatever their status, but for those in religious sisterhoods or monasteries or who are self supporting and celibate, are expected to be sexual as a condition of their being in this world, and that certainly includes wives.

If interested in the Harem lifestyle you may want to search herein for
Jillian Lauren - June 2013
Lord Bath and his 75 Wifelets - May 2012
China's Empress Dowager Cixi - September 2015





(* Holly spent time at the Mansion before being invited to be a girlfriend, and continued to have business and friendships that kept her involvement going.  She was a girlfriend from bout 2001 to 2008... Her last party at the Mansion was Halloween 2008.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Monday, March 27, 2017

HAVE YOU MET HIS WIFE? : MISSY ASKS YOU!

She's THE OTHER WOMAN in your life too, and she may know about you... My question for you mistresses out there is HAVE YOU MET HER?


Missy

Friday, March 24, 2017

SUSAN BERMAN'S LADY LAS VEGAS - AUTHORSHIP AS LEGACY

  You may have just recently heard of a woman named SUSAN BERMAN, because a man named Robert Durst's on trial for her murder, years after it happened.  The new evidence that was revealed in a documentary called THE JINX, involves a secretly recorded confession as well as letters sent in the U.S. Mail.  Durst comes from a very wealthy New York City real estate fortune family, like Ivanka Trump, and like Ivanka's husband, Jared Kushner.  The Durst family has avoided the controversy.  Durst's money provides him the lawyers.





Reading some news articles about the trial, after having watched The Jinx, I learned that Susan Berman supposedly took a loan from Robert, who she had been good friends with since they met as students at UCLA.  She was an author who was perhaps not able to depend on her income as a writer to pay her bills.  So I wondered if she was a good writer.  I read her book LADY LAS VEGAS and thought she was an excellent, creative non-fiction author.  She managed to have a bit of her and her family's story, since her father was instrumental in the development of Las Vegas, woven through later chapters about the development of the town famous for "What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas." 


Here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, Virginia Hill, who was the mistress of Ben Siegel, the subject of the Warren Beatty film, Bugsy, credited with building the Flamingo Hotel in the middle of nowhere, was covered in March 2013.  Well, Susan's father and associates took over the Flamingo when Siegel was gunned down in Los Angeles while Virginia was out of town.


Susan, may she be resting in peace, left Vegas as a child, after her father died young of natural but stress related cause, and then her mother had a mental breakdown and eventually commited suicide.  Because of her family's participation in Organized Crime, her murder has been blamed on the Mob, rather than Durst. Was she really a woman who knew too much for her own good?  The Susan in this book was not associated with Organized Crime herself.  On the other hand it has been claimed that because of her family background, Durst was able to confess to her that he killed his wife, Kathy, also a long missing person that there is likely a murder mystery that may involve Durst.  After she was left an orphan, her guardian became her dad's brother, her uncle with a big gambling problem.  She left Vegas and eventually lived in Los Angeles.


As an adult, gone from Vegas for 40 years, and distanced from it though the years and therapy, though with very fond memories of her childhood there as the only child and daughter of Davie Berman, credited as a builder of the town, she went back.  The part about going to the family home in a suburb that had been turned into a law office, her old playhouse in the back yard still there but used for storage, was a bit of a heartbreaker.  Always in her memory as a good time in her life, proud of the achievements that her dad had made, Vegas had changed so significantly it was hardly what she'd remembered as an insider behind "American's Neon Oasis."


There are other books by and about Susan Berman, but I thought my readers might be interested in this one because of some of the people she mentions in the book who have been mentioned here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.  Besides Ben Siegel and Virginia Hill, she mentions Elvis Presley (who sang happy birthday to her), Liberace, and Howard Hughes, who bought hotels and had a mistress in each of them.  We covered Scott Thorson, who Liberace Kept, here in October 2012, and Howard Hughes's Mistress Faith Domergue in May of 2014.  (The Mistresses mentioned here do not include Faith!)


To find these people in this blog, try running a search for their names in the search feature on the sidebar.


Missy.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

BLACK DIAMONDS : KATHLEEN "KICK" KENNEDY and PETER WENTWORTH, 8th EARL FITZWILLIAM : WAS THEIR AFFAIR THE GRAND FINALE OF THE FAMILY?

 In BLACK Diamonds, author Catherine Bailey reveals the unusual story of the Fitzwilliams, one of the richest families in Great Britain, the owners of one of the biggest houses ever built in the world to that time, and their coal fortune that made them but was broken when  Great Britain took over during World War II, stripping their land for coal. 


This is the grand family that American socialite Kathleen "Kick" Kennedy wanted to marry into, and the hell with the fact that this second marriage would not only be into another Anti-Catholic family, but to a man who was married with a child and not divorced when she met him.


Though we know from previous reading that Kathleen was being supported by her inlaws after her first husband was killed in the War, and had independent means as a child of the rich American Joe Kennedy family, she aimed higher in her desire to marry another risk taker, Peter Wentworth - 8th Earl Fitzwilliam. 


There was no talking sense to her.


It's clear to me from reading this book that the Fitzwilliams would not be an easy family to belong to. They had their secret scandals, including questions of who was qualified to be heir, and, had she not died in that plane crash, after receiving the assurance that her father would not completely abandon her if she did marry Peter, one wonders if she really would have done well to marry him.


In our desire to better understand Kick and what drove her, BLACK DIAMONDS provides more perspective.  


C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.  All Rights Reserved Including International and Internet rights.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

KATHLEEN "KICK" KENNEDY : A MINI BIO and TRIBUTE THAT DOESN'T MENTION PETER



This YouTube video poster did a nice tribute to Kathleen that covers the main points about her birth, education, Red Cross days, debut, work, war efforts, marriage to Billy, and has some wonderful photos of her.  But it doesn't mention Peter...

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

KATHLEENS SHOES GOT HIDDEN IN A MAZE at HATFIELD HOUSE

Notes from Paula Byrne's book Kick:


Pages 83 and 84


Robert Cecil hid all her left shoes in a maze to teach her "the gentle lesson" of not kicking off her shoes in company...  "But kick dressed as normal and came down to dinner wearing one black and one white shoe" (with a black and white dress)... Throughout the weekend which was at Hatfield House in Hertfordshire, which was a coming of age party five days long for Robert and had many college friends from Oxford and Eton in attendance, Kick continued to wear two right shoes.


When she was seen walking awkwardly, a woman said, "Why are you limping, Kick?" and Kick said, "Robert broke my leg before dinner."  There was roaring laugher.  Kathleen was "instantly accepted."  They thought she was a terrific sport. 


Said one person, "Kick couldn't seem to put a foot wrong even in the wrong shoe!"


WIKIWANT HATFIELD HOUSE - PICTURES AND HISTORY


Page 89
 "The British upper classes loved the way she played up her Americanness rather than copy the British and adopt a phony English accent."



Friday, March 10, 2017

LORD HARTINGTON WEDS AMERICAN GIRL IN LONDON - A NOBLEMAN'S BRIDE

JOHN F. KENNEDY and HIS FAMILY - PHOTOS  check it out.  There are many of Kick!




From the Book Kick by Paula Byrne:


Notes from Page 78


The Ambassador's residence was a 52 room mansion with a huge ballroom that had Aubusson carpets.  But Joseph P. Kennedy, the Ambassador, and Kathleen's father, spent a quarter million of his own money to refurbish it.  The Kennedy family also brought their own cook as well as American foods like clam chowder and coffee... and he had 2000 bottles of champagne for his cellars and held dinners, lunches, and tea parties.


The Kennedys were made members of some of the most exclusive clubs and even visited Windsor castle where they met the King and Queen and their daughters Elizabeth (our present Queen) and her sister Margaret.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

KATHLEEN "KICK" KENNEDY, SISTER OF J.F.K., BRIDE and WIDOW OF BILLY HARTINGTON aka William CAVENSIH, then MISTRESS OF PETER WENTWORTH FITZWILLIAM, 8th EARL FITZWILLIAM



This book is the primary reference for this month's
Mistress of the Month post!

KATHLEEN "KICK"  AGNES KENNEDY CAVENDISH, LADY HARTINGTON
(1920-1948)

The story of Kathleen "Kick" Kennedy, one of children of Joseph and Rose Kennedy, and sibling of John Fitzgerald Kennedy who one day became President of the United States, has long been repressed.  Maybe that's because her behavior was scandalous.  Or maybe it's just that her other siblings lived longer, did more, or became more famous that she.  Paula Byrne, author of the book that is the primary reference for this post, had access to Kick's own diaries and other materials not previously seen by a biographer, and brought the lively, self depreciation good sport that Kathleen was to life, noting that her unusual nickname was based not only on the use of the term 'kick" to mean fun, but because she had a habit of kicking off her shoes at staid parties and dinners, and once had to wear a mismatched pair of right-foot shoes when her English companions hid the rest of her shoes in one of those huge mazes created out of shrubbery on a great estate. She was a good sport.

When her father Joseph Kennedy became Ambassador to the Court of Saint James,  London, England in 1938, during the Roosevelt Administration, World War II loomed.  Kathleen and her sister Rosemary, who was "slow" probably due to oxygen deprivation at birth, took their bows before the Queen that year as the British press and Life Magazine in the United States took interest in the  American family. In 1938, the 18 year old Kathleen was voted England's Most Important Debutant!

The young, energetic Irish-American woman's introduction to English society was also fostered by one of the most famous American Ex-Patriots, Lady Astor, who was into English politics.  Soon Kick was attending house parties on Great Estates owned by outstandingly anti-Catholic British peers and became friends with other Catholic girls who were in love with Church of England aristocrats. 

Due to their Irishness and Catholicism, both in America (Boston) and in England, Joseph and his family had experienced social exclusion.  Maybe that's one reason the many children of Joseph and Rose became such good friends with each other. Joe Senior's elite college education, his amazing career in banking, his investments in Hollywood film making, and the many connections he had made in business and in politics, including President Roosevelt, hadn't made the Kennedy family acceptable in Protestant- American  WASP circles.

Joseph and Rose taught their children to be competitive, to not cry in response to tragedy but get on with it, to exceed the high expectations placed on them, and to stand out. Defying the stereotype that the Irish were all drunkards, no alcohol was allowed in their home. As the Kennedy couple continued to be married and procreate, they also came to live separate lives, an arrangement that Kathleen didn't realize was strange until she was older. Joseph having more influence on the sons and Rose on the daughters, both young Joe Jr. and Jack had affairs with married women, while Kathleen and her sisters were sent to convent schools and expected to conduct themselves as devout Catholics. One of her favorite ways of gifting someone was to go to Masses, say rosaries, and do good deeds in their honor.

Kick was great friends with her brothers and in the know about their affairs. While she personallty held back from sexuality, and was considered prudish, her warm personality gained her many admirers and several marriage minded suitors on two continents. Could it be that she was thinking, "if it's OK for them, why not me?"  Would the devout, convent educated young woman really sell her soul for a title or become a Dollar Princess, one of those wealthy American girls who were pursued by broke nobles?

After her debut and introduction to the wealthy aristocrats and royals in England, Kick came to love the country and the people, feeling she had experienced her true home.  When she married Billy Hartington aka William Cavendish*, she had been in love with him for six years and likely he felt the same.  After the family returned to the United States at the onset of the war, Kick had spent four years away from Billy.  She was popular and pursued but she had not forgotten him and endeavored to find her way back to England.  She joined the Red Cross where some gritty work awaited. 

Then, there were difficulties in which the couple and their families wrestled with the issue of their incompatible religions. As time went by, Billy's family had come to love Kick and believe in her.  Even his Catholic-hating father who had a mistress, Lady Dufferin, came around.  Kick's mother, Rose, was the hold out.  Billy's parents had the feeling that this long ordeal, for which there never were any easy answers, had proven the young couple's sincerity and that they would make it as a couple.  From the beginning the two of them had easy conversation, sometimes long into the night.

Through those years Billy had also matured. As England was targeted by the Germans and the bombings of London began, he wanted to fight for his country and became a war hero.  As an officer of the Cold Stream Guards who stood out, Billy was killed by a sniper with single bullet through his heart. Kick and Billy had married in May at a humble registry office, he had left for the war five weeks later, and he was killed in September. Now the 24 year old "Widow Hartington," Kathleen would have to step aside for her debutant friend Debo, married to his younger brother Andrew, and was left with the title Lady Hartington and a small inheritance. Yet Billy's parents, the Duke and Duchess did not abandon her, not ever.  After grieving with them and being supported by them, which would continue until her death, living here and there, she got herself an apartment, and with that Kennedy view of life, knew she had to move on somehow. She threw herself into Red Cross volunteerism again.  She also spent time with her family in the United States where they had homes in Hyannis Port, New York, and Palm Beach, Florida.  Her time in America seemed to only reaffirm that she belonged to England.

KICK AS A RED CROSS VOLUNTEER IN ENGLAND
picture from FIND AS GRAVE
(Though she died with the married man she was Mistress to,
she was given the burial of the wife of Billy Hartington.)


This book gives in detail the excruciating Protestant and Catholic clergy diplomacies that Kick and Billy went through, looking for some way for him to keep to his Church of England legacy and familial anti-Catholicism, while in love with a devout Catholic woman whose mother would check herself into the hospital when word reached her that the compromise of a simple civil marriage had taken place. Kick's brother Joe Jr., was the only familial representative of the Kennedy's there. This detail, the crisis that was occurring as Kick attempted to marry into one of England's oldest, riches, and most Protestant families, was surprising to me.  This detail comprises most of the book, with the story of Kathleen's Mistresshood taking just a small end portion of the book. Yet, because of all that struggle with religion and grief, the story of her Mistresshood would not be as interesting or understood. 



Unlike the many years of waiting for marriage to Billy, the Widow Hartington, while chairing the Commando's Benevolent Fund Ball in June of 1946, was seduced by Peter, 8th Earl Fitzwilliam. Peter had been a Commando, which was an independent army company, and had completed twelve missions, and came back a decorated war hero himself.  Peter was married with a young daughter, and so unlike Billy Hartington.  He was a gambler, fond of fast cars, fast horses, fast women. He had been around in society for some time and she'd been introduced to him at the end of the summer season in 1945 when they both attended a fall hunt in County Wichlow. If people had doubted that Kick and Billy were made for each other, but had been won over...

"Kick's friends were horrified when they learned about the romance.  Nobody could understand the relationship as she and Peter appeared on the surface to be so different." 
(page 271)



Rose Kennedy was furious with her daughter and went to England to confront Kathleen personally. 

Revealed in this book, and also surprising to me, was that Joseph Kennedy, Kick's father, while gone a whole lot on business, wrote heartfelt and advisory letters to his children, showing support for them, and that even younger brother Robert Kennedy wrote letters of encouragement to his big sister. I came away from the book thinking of Joseph Kennedy, as a much more loving, wise, and involved father than I'd ever imagined.  He was far more wise to the world than his wife, Rose who seemed to hold to high ideals while ignoring her husband's womanizing, that included hitting on Kathleen's friends. It was to her father that Kathleen would now appeal to, after hiding the More-Scandalous-Than-Billy  affair from her family, and easing the truth that she wished to marry yet another Protestant, this time after he got a divorce. So while mother Rose attempted to prevent her daughter and family from any further scandal, it was her father Joseph who said he would try to help, and agreed to meet the couple in France, where it was planned that Peter, not divorced, would ask her father's permission to marry her.

Here is where my own sense of Kathleen emerges after reading the spare pages in this book about her affair with the married Peter. First, Kathleen went to several convent schools, and when she was at the school in Paris, where she studied French literature and needlepoint, in my mind nothing more than a finishing school for rich Catholic girls destined to marry well, the nuns called her "Mademoiselle Pourquoi"  meaning "Miss Why" because she was such a questioner.

I believe that Kathleen had come to question her Catholicism and did not think religion should or did matter so much, though it was her upbringing and the only religion she had known or come to depend on. I think she was torn, knowing the high profile of her Catholic family and the discrimination that people from her heritage had experienced.  She had been raised a privileged young woman, far removed from the earthly poverty of her Kennedy ancestors in Ireland who still lived without an indoor toilet. She had been a media darling. She had received hate mail after marrying Billy. 

At 26 she was a woman of independent means, beautifully dressed with some important jewelry, capable of chairing charity events in high society, intelligent, college educated, though not as well as her father and  Harvard alumni brothers. She was not expected to be in mourning or stay a widow forever. She was expected to remarry. 

I think the death of her husband and brother and the war in general had informed her that life was not to be taken granted, but seized.  She had but a brief  month of sexuality in her marriage. Having been married, she was no longer expected in English society to pretend to be a virgin.  Billy's parents and sister, her brother Jack, and several close friends were aware that she was in a full-on affair with Peter.  It was a whirlwind.  Peter was as keen.  Maybe he had never much been into the glamorous woman he had married and cheated on during their honeymoon. World War II was an era in which women stepped outside the roles of wife and mother, even to do hard physical labor in factories for the war effort.  It was a step ahead in the liberation of women from traditionally expected roles.

As Rose Kennedy threw a fit, Kathleen's maid couldn't believe her ears, that a 28 year old woman who was widowed would allow her own mother to talk to her that way.  Kathleen's sister Eunice Kennedy had come to visit for a couple months in the fall of 1946 and had not been aware that her sister had become a Mistress.

In a small plane, on the way to meet her father for that respectful moment in which the married Peter would, cart in front of the horse, ask permission to marry her, Kathleen and Peter were killed when it crashed. Joseph Kennedy found himself in France identifying her body instead.  Much has been made of the fact that with her she had lingerie and what could be used (in those pre Pill days) to prevent pregnancy - another sin for a good Catholic girl - in her suitcases.  Her worldly father was supposedly stunned to realize. I have to wonder.  This was, after all, a married man who was not sexually faithful to his often pregnant wife, and who had the actress Gloria Swanson as a mistress for some time.

Quoting Angela Lambert on Kick, on page 265, '"Gaiety, like honesty, is a kind of social courage.  It is not easy to be unfailingly charming, lively, and original.  It requires energy, and generosity, always to make the effort to be on one's form."

We may never know if it was love at first sight for the "hard smitten" Kathleen AND Peter, the seducer. What we do know is that the young woman took risks and had ambitions of her own, like so many of her siblings and the Kennedy Family, but hers were of the heart.

Later this month, I'll be posting based on this book:
In search of more information on Kathleen Kennedy and Peter Wentworth - 8th Earl Fitzwilliam.  The title "Black Diamonds" refers to the family's fortune in coal.


Missy



Notes: Most Americans are not familiar with the many titles of royal and noble persons in England or other countries since we don't use them here and give up any right to them upon becoming American citizens.  Generally, a person can have many titles, and as a result what to call them at any time or place is a question.  Their name can change as they inherit other titles as well.  Those in the know, know who they are however.  An example would be that Prince William goes by the lesser title of Duke of Cambridge, though he is most certainly a Prince, at this time but has many other titles.  Some titles are only used during a local visit to the area in which the title was first used or granted..

If interested in other Mistress of the British Isles, you might want to visit my posts on 
King George and his two mistresses, the Elephant and the Castle - October 2013
Camilla Duchess of Cornwall - April 2016
Mary Boleyn - Mistress of King Henry the 8th (who didn't loose her head) - January 2012
Hilda Lezard, Mistress of the Mysterious John Henry Manners - 9th Duke of Rutland -November 2014
 or run a search within MISTRESS MANIFESTO using the words Great Britain, England, or Ireland!

If interested in Mistresses surrounding the Kennedy Family, search for

Edie Bouvier Beale - Jackie's Eccentric Cousin - August 2014
Maria Callas  - Mistress of Ari Onassis - May 2009
Marita Lorenz - Mistress of Fidel Castro and General Marcos Peres -  May 2015


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