Thursday, June 22, 2017



What does it mean to be a "woman of a certain age," especially because we're living into our eighties now? Well, this book focuses on age 40 plus and the realities of aging on the human body. Fat redistributes giving you a tummy. Your breasts may get fuller or sag. You may or may not have money to spend on designer clothing and accessories, cosmetic surgery, or other alternatives to being mysterious about your age.

This book does have some assumptions. For instance Lois Joy Johnson, the author, and many of the models and opinion-givers photographed here are rather thin women. Or their weight gain isn't substantial looking. So I didn't see a model in the book who appeared to be "plus sized" or fat.

And while the book says it's a good thing to "cross-shop" and buy some things cheap but upgrade the entire look with more expensive accessories, overall, the author is speaking to the woman who has a closet full of clothes, some that were expensive, who needs to do some self evaluation about how she currently looks in the clothes she already has.
There are  some things I disagree with Lois Joy Johnson on, so let me get those out of the way.
The nude or flesh colored shoe, particularily a heel, elongating the look of a leg because it matches the flesh; I think this is a fashion look that's now dated. I don't think you can really fool anyone that you've grown a few inches wearing a "nude" shoe color - and I dislike shoes that seem not to match the color(s) of any of the clothing you're wearing.  You won't find any "nude" shoes or purses in my closet.
While wearing monotone clothing, or wearing V necks may elongate the look for photography, when I'm out and about and I see a woman wearing monotone or V necks, I'm not fooled that she's taller.  I may think though that she has conscientiously put together her look.

Secondly, I dislike the reliance on form shaping underwear. There is an old fashioned word for form shaping underwear - "foundations."  Maybe today's are better because they are made with miracle fibers but they are still "girdles" to hold in the tummy - slightly.  I recall as a child coming in contact with a horrible rubber one that a relative of mine had in her drawer for emergencies and that "ewe what is that!?" feeling as I pulled it out and stretched it. I agree with her that a good bra that actually fits is a necessity and that you need to be refitted frequently but most women I know try to avoid wearing them because they can be painful. Many women prefer camis and only wear a bra when they must!   I do believe such underwear can sort of smooth your shape, but it's also usually extrememly hot, even clammy, to wear. Better some exercise or diet and 100% cotton against your private parts!

Now, if I didn't think this was a very good book and worth your reading time, I wouldn't even post it here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT! I think the advice in this book is for anyone who wants to have a decent basic wardrobe, regardless of age, if you want the basis of that wardrobe to be classics, fine tailoring to fit (or refit) your clothing (a tailor is essential to add life to those items that you paid a lot of money for back when the shoulder pads were in), and learning how to appear modern not matronly.

Here are some of this fashion-insider/author's best advisements:  
Update your eye glasses every year - they are jewelry for your face.
Buy white t-shirts and underwear cheap because no matter what you do, they will loose that fresh white look from laundering. 
Buying dresses is usually overall a better idea than skirts and matching tops, because dresses can hide your body better, especially if you pay attention to the pattern, which should be swirly or floral. 
Your posture is extremely important, as is your energy and your smile.
Check out the many web sites that Johnson refers you to, and you'll be more educated about fashion and what's right for you, and might even influence today's designers who are also looking at these sites, trying to adapt to what women really think and want to buy!

To me 40 is too young to give up on some of the clothing that is suggested you be done with.  Instead, I ask "What is your physical shape and good attributes and where are you going?"  If you have great legs, I see no reason you have to have your skirts and dresses near the knee, not on you day off, or when you're going to a seaside resort, not even if you're 60.  You may want to think of animal prints in natural colors staid, when you have Zebra rainbow colors to wear with your jeans unless that's too matchy-matchy with your daughter!  And maybe your complexion is such that you really can still wear girly-girl pink and not look like one of those little old ladies with round marks of blush.
You too should read any fashion or beauty book with a strong sense of who you are and what you do or don't agree with! 

C2017  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Wednesday, June 21, 2017


Only if one of them can prove they can AFFORD to?

I wonder, if it was legal to be married to more than one person, how many people would stay married instead of getting divorced, and just marry a second person, or even a third.

What about people you meet who've been married MANY times?  Why do they keep getting married?

You comments?


Monday, June 19, 2017


I read the entire book though there are only two references to our Mistress of the Month, Evey, who is called Evelyne in Mark Ribowsky's book.  She's identified as a Japanese dancer here, and just has to be the same woman.  The book mostly dwells on Taylor's music career, long time drug addiction, and psychology. 
I found what the author had to say about Evelyne as well as Taylor's being "highly skilled at the art of deception," as he managed his public personae and reputation, and hid his long history of using drugs and alcohol from the public, though it was only too well known to his friends, family, and the mother of his children, Carly Simon.  It's always quite interesting to me how many co-dependents such a person has, but it sounds like Carly had gone to many psychiatrists seeking help for him and them.  You can say that she has been a devout mother and did for a long time attempt to stay married.
Chapter 19, called Never Mind Feeling Sorry For Yourself, is where we find mention of Evelyne.  The scene;Taylor and Simon have a baby son who is sickly and has to have "delicate and risky" surgery. "During the unbearably tense and frightening hours he was in surgery his father (JT) wasn't there because he was driving his latest plaything, a Japanese dancer named EVELYNE to the airport." (Carly was furious and when he did show up at the hospital. Her manager Arlyne Rothberg saw him and started to scream at him to get upstairs at the hospital.  He did eventually arrive and was bedside as the child awoke from surgery.  Prior to this he sat alone outside the hospital alone and "zoning out."

..."Before going back on the road," JT "thought nothing of trading in the dancer for an actress, Kathryn Walker, with whom he now began spending most of his time." (He would marry Walker.)* 

She, Carly, and his first serious girlfriend of note, called Maggie, were all slightly older women and you could say sophisticated and accomplished women.

The author, though he has spent many chapters explaining that Carly Simon was being driven crazy by her husband, seems not to favor her in the end because he doesn't see her as forgiving enough.  Would I?  No way. I think this author gave us plenty of reason why Taylor was so difficult. I know from other reading that he and Walker did divorce, he met and remarried and had twin sons with another woman, his third wife, and now in his seniorhood seems to have learned to live authentically and soberly, and may have come to terms with his past.  However, in my experience and opinion, some people do leave others with lasting, life-altering pain, even when they themselves reach the point of being sorry they lived that way.  Maybe forgiveness is then over-rated!  Missy

*I read this one on e-book, and on Overdrive.  I found these passages on Evey at approx. pages 1681-1686

Friday, June 16, 2017

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Nonconfrontation of Wives

"It's his place to deal with his wife, not mine. "

I know that when I use the word "SHOWDOWN" in a blog post title it attracts hits.  And oh, people love the "cat fight" between two women fighting over one man, hating each other like that, and maybe coming to physical violence.  A few years ago a couple Chinese women Kept by the same man went at it, someone posted it up on YouTube, and it enjoyed a lot of hits.  However, if any relationship you're in makes you get that mean and nasty, that physical, with another person, it's probably not a relationship for you.

Frankly, some men like women to fight or compete over them.  It doesn't have to be a wife - mistress situation.  I've always loathed people who go out of their way to try and make me jealous.  Sometime it's all more subtle - or maybe the term "passive aggressive" would be better - and the man just wants his ego stroked by one or both of the women he's dating or seeing or something - to reveal their passion for him. This type of person plays two people (or more) that he's involved with at the same time just to create such a situation.

However, when you're a Mistress, your place is aside your man's marriage, and sometimes your presence helps him stay married, but coming between them is never a good idea.

Yes, many a woman feels the need and right to confront the Other Woman, who thinks she is the Other Woman.  From what I've read it's even possible that the First Lady, Jacqueline Kennedy, gave a little phone call to Marilyn Monroe.
I'll never forget the time when I and my 20-something best girlfriend drove to the mall because she wanted to confront her Other Women. She and her man were not married, engaged, and hadn't even had the "going steady" talk.  No ring!  However, when she found out that the man she was sleeping with was also sleeping with this Other Woman who worked at one of those kiosks all alone, we were on our way.  I stood back as she went up to her and said, "I just want you to know X is sleeping with me."  I could see this Other Woman was shaken.  First of all, even if her boss wasn't around she was at work.  Secondly, what could she say?
Now I'm more mature and if I have a friend who thinks doing something like this is a good idea, I would tell her I think not.
You have every right to stop having sex with another person and every right to break it off with them if your needs are not met.  But when he is married, that's his marriage, not yours.
So even if his wife shows up on your doorstep, my advice is to tell her she needs to deal with her husband.  I know it may be incredibly difficult to understand and to keep your mouth from going off, especially if you have good reason to Hate her for him, but really, it's his place not yours to deal with his wife.  Besides, she's probably at least as nice as you!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017



NOTES: Carly Simon decided it was time to meet the woman that her husband was keeping in an apartment she had never been to, one that he used for rehearsals. After walking the streets of New York City in the dark, stopping at 2 am at a Cuban restaurant, where the waiter tells her that JAMES TAYLOR and his Mistress also come in there.  He advises her to Love her husband. She arrives at the building in the middle of the night.  When she lets herself in with the key she secretly had copied, she hears a woman wailing and one of James' favorite pieces of music being played on a stereo from the 4th floor apartment.  Before she can use the key again, the apartment door opens. 

There stands Evey, who at first mesmerizes Carly with her beauty but also physical difference.  Carly can't help put compare her hands and feet.  The woman invites her inside.  No doubt tipped off that his wife is on the way, this encounter which Carly is determined will be civilized, not a cat fight, proves that her husband has betrayed her beyond the physical.  Evey is angry with her for James and ready to tell her off.

Seeing a razor blade, the notion of suicide passes through Carly's mind for a moment until she remembers she has the responsibility of her children.  It is clear, after hearing all the lies that James has told against Carly, lies that Evey wholeheartedly believes, that the Mistress is not the problem.  As I read this excerpt, I had to feel so sad for both women.  Read by e-book in Overdrive, I've referenced the pages.

"She stood there, hair in her eyes, which were wide with what I interpreted as terror and angst.  The woman before me, Evey, was tiny and muscular.  She wore a black leotard, dance pants, and small "dance slippers - size four, I guessed.  Her torso was beautifully molded and her hands were white, perfect, not a single mark on them, only a band on the fourth finger.... 1719-1720 e-book (Missy here: What hand? Is this a wedding type band from Jamie?)

EXCERPTS from 1721-1722-1723-1724 e-book :
"I'm trying hard here," I said.... "I want us to be the best we can both be."

"No you're not," she replied in her broken English.  "Jamie doesn't love you.  Don't you know that?  He calls you a JAP - and he told me you buy big Mercedes Convertible, and drive around California trying to be a movie star, but you're not pretty enough." She continued in this vein, "Jamie had told her that I built a swimming pool because I couldn't bear to step on any seaweed or any rocks beneath my feet, where real people go swimming.
Jamie had also told her I disliked the feeling of sand and that if any got in the house, I would take a bottle of spray clearner out from under the sink and spreay out all the sand as if it was some dangereous fungus.  Hmm... not a bad idea. ...

EXCERPTS 1725-1726 e-book
"He says you spend all day shopping and buying fur coats and that you are dressing up your children just like you.  He tells me you nurse your little boy still and that he will grow up to be a fairy." Evey's voice rose, "And don't thick I don't know the difference between "fairy tale" and "Fairy."

EXCERPTS 1727-1728
"He says you don't really sing well and that you spend all day getting bikini waxes so you look good for all your rich boyfriends who spend planes for you all over the world...He says you won't even notice when he is out of the house because you're so in love with your diamonds and fancy shoes and you try them on in front of your mirror.  You are a party girl.  You are a bitch.  A city girl, a lazy playgirl.  What did he call you?  Yes - a swashbuckler - that's it."

Saturday, June 10, 2017


Although MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT has received over 25,000 hits on the first post I made in March 2014 on the subject of this trio, featuring the knowingly man-sharing Patricia and Pamela, and I appreciate that, I feel that the search engines are featuring the post, while so many other Mistresses and Mantresses I've written about here go unread.  As a result I decided to take the unprecedented step of taking down those posts, at least temporarily, because - because I can!  Please indulge yourself in many of the others - Mistresses - Mantresses - and the People who Kept Them - featured here in posts.  I promise you more interesting people are coming up!  And ask yourself, AM I A MISTRESS? COULD I EVER BE A MISTRESS?  COULD I KEEP SOMEONE?

Thursday, June 8, 2017


Boys in the Trees is a Memoir by Carly Simon that focuses on her early years and marriage to James Taylor, a fellow singer-songwriter, who became famous as she did in the 1970's.  The Chapter of the book that deals with Carly's encounter with James' Mistress, whom she calls "Evey," is Twenty Two, titled The Showdown.  Background: Carly Simon and James Taylor have been married for several years and have two children and she has almost become a single mother to them, as he keeps touring, while she breast feeds a sickly son past the age of 2 1/2, which she was advised to do to help him thrive, and deals with his mystery fevers. By 1980 the marriage which has long been challenged by his absence, womanizing, and drug use, and Carly think's it's her preoccupation with mothering her sickly son that may also turn him off her.

In the summer of 1979, James Taylor had a "dalliance with one of his back up singers and claimed (1629-1630 of the e-book) "It's not about you."  Carly then had her first extramarital liaison too.  Then Taylor admitted he was seeing other women including "Evey" a dancer who was living in his 4th floor walk up on West Seventieth Street, New York City.  Carly realized Evey, unlike other women that passed through his life, "wasn't going anywhere." (1635)  She still wanted to be married to James and wondered if "exclusivity" in marriage really existed.  She also found that an old girlfriend from the 1960's was sending him love letters. Again he told her this had nothing to do with her. (1637-1639)

(Of course it does!)

EXCERPT: "As for Evey, I would rather James lived with her and pined for me than the reverse." (1647-1648 e-book)

Carly then found a love note to James written by Evey.  (This is what I mean about wanting to be caught.) It irked Carly that his Mistress was calling him "Jamie," his childhood moniker.

Carly and James were fighting.  She even suggested he move out and never see the children again. He even promised he would not see Evey again.  Then Carly told him that if he and Evey were very happy together then he should pursue her. They were baiting each other and confused.  She wanted him to "swear his undying love," for her and their family.
(1663-1664, 1667-1668)

Finally Carly came up with a plan, first to get her own key made for the apartment where Evey was Kept which she had never seen.

EXCERPT: "Yes it was sneaky, but it wasn't nefarious, corrupt, or dangerous." (1668-1669)

EXCERPT: "What would happen if and when I took the plunge of interfering with Jamie's extracurricular love affair?"  (1677-1678)

 I'm excerpting here from an e-book reading on Overdrive.

Monday, June 5, 2017


Picture from Wikimedia
File:1847 U.S. Coast Survey Map of Holmes' Hole (Vineyard Haven), Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts - Geographicus - HolmesHole-uscs-1847.jpg

Friday, June 2, 2017


EVEY, a Mistress of one of America's best known and loved singer-songwriter's
remains a mystery to us, though Carly Simon, Taylor's wife at the time, has called her out.
She's called EVELYNE in "Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines," a biography
of James Taylor by Mark Ribowsky.

BOYS IN THE TREES - A MEMOIR by singer-songwriter CARLY SIMON.
CARLY SIMON is famous for her glorious almost-opera alto voice, for her wonderfully autobiographical song writing, especially hits like, "You're So Vain," and now long over marriage to singer-songwriter JAMES TAYLOR, with whom she had a son and daughter, who are not surprisingly also musical. 
Apparently though singer-songwriter fans loved that Carly and James were married rock stars, whose voices complimented each other when they made appearances on each other's albums and in concerts, their marriage wasn't what most of the couple's fans imagined. Carly Simon says, though she loved James - and I think this woman's love for her husband and the father of her children was outstanding - they were not the perfect couple that they had been promoted as.  Not at all. She acted as though she had found her soul mate and forgot her view of her parents marriage that she wrote about in her song, "The Way I Always Heard It Should Be."  During her youth her father had Kept his own Nanny as a Mistress and her mother had installed a Boy Toy under their roof and right under her ailing husband's nose.  Had Carly learned to tolerate cheating? She did hold to the belief that no musicians were faithful and she did tolerate her husband's groupies, an affair with a back-up singer, and his confession to her of having gotten gonorrhea.  What made Evey different was that she was a real challenge to her marriage.

Taylor was absent, not only because he continued to tour while she more or less stayed home to raise their two children as if she were a single mother, but because he was a drug addict - pot - coke - whiskey - heroin - and not really there even when he was in the room. You could say he was married to his addictions.

But then Carly discovered that he was also not at home because he had a Mistress stored away in his apartment there in New York City, an apartment she had never seen that he used for rehearsing. Called "Evey" by Carly in her memoir, "Boys In The Trees," Simon had a duplicate key made, and went over there in the middle of the night, a valium and Sangria to help her courage, and faced Evey.  She wanted this other woman to know she was "not a monster."

What Evey had to say to Carly, what James had told his mistress about his wife, was shocking and exaggerated. A sensitive artist, deeply emotional, and profoundly hurt, trying to keep her family together, one child sickly, Carly was perhaps facing reality too. Evey told Carly in so many words that she was considered to be a privileged, materialistic, selfish, and demanding woman. Maybe Evey was just flouting her ability to live in a small, barely furnished pad awaiting her man,"Jamie." A  tiny Japanese (or Japanese-American) woman who spoke English with an accent, she was a dancer with a good body, physically unlike Carly.  Evey was proud of her man and unexpectedly competitive.  Perhaps Jamie really was the biggest deal in her life. She amused herself when he wasn't there playing some of his favorite music. He certainly wasn't Keeping her in luxury.

It's ironic really. Usually when a wife calls out a Mistress, it's her belief that her husband is being too generous (any amount of money can be "too" generous when a wife believes that half of that money should be hers) with the Other Woman.  It's almost as if Evey is proud of her lack of demands and needs, but when I excerpt the showdown between these two later this month, I think you'll gasp like I did at the things Evey had to say to Carly, a woman who had inherited much less than imagined, used most of her inheritance early to pay for therapy, and who had success in her own right. Evey even said James Taylor told her Carly Simon was a "JAP" (Jewish American Princess)! Carly's father was Jewish and a well to do publisher (Simon and Schuster), her mom wasn't, and the family was fairly non religious.
*****Beyond this acknowledgement, later in her life, of her husband's Mistress by Carly, little else is publically known about Evey.  She may have been a musical muse, kind of like Ruth Tryangiel, the Mistress of Bob Dylan. Though in 1980, about a year after the showdown with Evey, their marriage was still intact, Taylor would soon divorce and remarry but not to Evey.  We don't know how she and Tayor met, how long they were together, if she earned enough money to support herself besides the probably free living in the apartment, or if he continued to Keep her when he remarried. After Carly, James went on to marry two more times and seems settled into and happy in his current marriage.  Carly also remarried four years after their divorce from him and is currently divorced from James Hart after almost 20 years of marriage. Evey wasn't why the Simon-Taylor marriage didn't last. 

I usually read books, but I've also started listening to some audio books, and I'm especially interested in doing so if the author is reading their own words to us.  I want to hear their voice and emotional expressions as they read their work. I heard that Carly Simon's memoir about growing up in a well-to-do publishing-related family also contained snippets of her music. What a great idea!  And so I got BOYS IN THE TREES on audio. I must say I loved it and was even brought to tears at times. (I've posted a couple Carly Simon YouTube videos in the past so you know I'm a fan.)

Carly was frank about her early sexual experiences and growing up in a household with a secret which involved her parent's infidelities.  Her mother, still married to an ailing retired husband, with their youngest child a boy, hired a college student to sort of care-give this son, while having an ongoing affair with him. The affair required a secret passageway in their house which one of her sisters figured out first. You could say Andrea Simon, Carly's mom, had herself a Boy Toy for a while. Carly's father, Richard Simon Kept his own nanny, who helped raise him as a child, as his Mistress for years, including after his marriage to Andrea. All this had a profoundly upsetting effect on Carly who may have started stuttering  as a result.

Online you can possibly link to an old article I cut out of Vanity Fair Magazine, titled "I Never Sang For My Mother," by Marie Brenner from August of 1995. At the time it was published it was quite shocking in the revelations about Carly's parents and their extramarital set ups but also that her mother could diminish her daughter so in a moment of her success.

Carly Simon, back in the day when she was a singer-songwriter (a little like the Taylor Swift of her generation) was promoted as a sexy young woman singer-songwriter - and she posed for photos that were considered daring at the time, though a typical selfie by a Kardashian sister is usually showing more nipple or rear end.)  In her memoir she admits to a whirl of affairs with musical men, prior to her marriage, as well as not being the first such woman to be passed around among them.  It was the 1970's, a wave of feminism had hit the shore, and a lot of women had decided they were not going to wait until married to have some adventures with men, but as she was talent and among peers, she was not a groupie.

 A secondary reference for this month's subject, I'll excerpt from this bio by Mark Ribowsky later in the month.  In this book "Evey" is called EVELYNE

Evey gives us a moment to pause.  She, sadly, falls into the category of Mistresses who are with men who lie terrifically to them about their wives, who have their Mistresses on their side against their wife, and who are in place quite deluded. Having known women and men who've had affairs and behaved in ways in which you can't help but think they are acting out for attention and want to get caught, I can't help but think about James Taylor at this point in his marriage with Carly Simon.
If interested in the Mistresses of musical men, their Mistresses, or their groupies, read archived posts about Bob Dylan, Pamela Des Barres, or Jim Morrison (although that one has an outstanding number of hits and I'm about to take that whole month down!)
C 2017  Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot - All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights

Saturday, May 27, 2017


1) Before you read Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, did you know who LINDSAY MILLS was?

2) Do you believe that Edward Snowden has always kept his college educated girlfriend, who he has reportedly had a relationship with for about 9 years, ignorant of his cyber information theft activities? Or does she know more?

3) Do you think Edward Snowden loves Lindsay Mills?

4) Do you think Lindsay and Edward should marry in Russia and live their lives out there (or outside the United States) where he cannot be put on trial or prosecuted?

5) Do you think Lindsay Mills is a Kept Woman?

6) Do you think Edward Snowden is a "whistle-blower" and patriot, or a spy and traitor?

7) Should Lindsay Mills quit Edward Snowden and get on with her life while she's still young?

Friday, May 26, 2017


"I give it thought and decide when not to wait."

Have you ever heard the saying, "Timing is everything?"  It means that everything else is quite good, but ultimately what ever it is - a new film or music album to be launched - an invention to be financed - a relationship that should turn into a marriage -  a job you'd be proud to have on your resume - instead fails to thrive or succeed because it was the wrong time for it - too early - too late - never meant to be.

Many people have met someone so right for them that they felt themselves falling in love, then found out the person wasn't truly available because they were not even divorced yet, and hung in there hoping that that by putting in time, the day would come.  Sometimes it does!

Many people have found themselves waiting for a promised promotion that suddenly gets all turned around because the person they were to replaced decided not to retire, or the company itself goes bankrupt.

So there you are, qualified, ready, and you know what you want.  You don't want to believe you can't have what you want, and you've already put in so much effort, energy, time, you are sure you deserve it. 
You may have redirected your entire life for this goal. 
How do you know when waiting is not worth it? 
How do you know how much more time to give?

Every situation is so very different, that I can't pull a single number out of hat.  I've heard it said that a band should give the music business ten years, and then if they haven't made it, give up.  I've heard a decade is a good try for becoming a famous actor.  We know that there are lots of exceptions to these rules including people who have maybe not "made it," but who still love what they do and need to do it so much that they can be found playing small clubs all over the country and  acting in summer theatre in their town.  And some people feel it is worth it for them to have love in their life, even if they must share someone, than not at all.

So your decision must come not only at looking at the cold, hard facts, but accepting how it is you feel, and if you feel frustrated, bored, depressed, or, if you're loosing sleep, chances are you should have been out of there YESTERDAY!  Not that any of us can be happy all the time, but do ask yourself if you are fulfilled most of the time.  If you've had a long good run and are in a rough patch, maybe it's temporary?


C 2017  All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, May 24, 2017


A friend of mine who worked in Southern California during the dot-com boom said that many of the twenty-something men she worked for and with, many who had parental money or inheritances or trust funds to draw from for business start ups and then paid themselves well from their enterprises,  had mistresses.  She said they were quite open about it.

I know that Silicon Valley executives have mistresses.

Are you one?

We'd love to hear from you!

Remember that I monitor all comments and only publish those that I think are contributory to the topic or helpful, and if you write "do not publish" to give me information, I will respect that! 


Tuesday, May 23, 2017


I think PRIVACY is a major issue for all of us, but perhaps especially for Mistresses, those women (and sometimes men who I call Mantresses) who have relationships ongoing with men who they are not married to, who are often married legally to someone else.  (I note that you don't have to be committing adultery to be Kept or to be Kept.)  At the beginning of this month, I elected the "girlfriend" of Edward Snowden, Lindsay Mills, as an honorary mistress of the month.  I think that Lindsay's relationship with Edward has a lot of mistress characteristics, in particular that he has provided financial support, adventure, and she has made living with him in numerous locations around the world - now reportedly Russia, over her own dancer career.  She has provided support to Edward emotionally, and other unsaid benefits to having a girlfriend.  But there is no adultery apparent in their relationship.  Not only are they not married to others, they are not married to each other.  So I promised you I would write a review after I got my copy.

Last night I saw the film SNOWDEN by Oliver Stone for the first time. I was disappointed that the story cut off before the "stuck in the Russian International Terminal" episode because by ending before this the references to assistance by Julian Assange/WikiLeaks/Sarah Harrison is omitted, and so much else.  Because Stone says their relationship is extremely important to the film, I frankly expected to see more of it. the film shows their first in person meeting after connecting through a web site called GeekMate in Washington DC, and makes certain that we know they have both been surrounded by family members and friends who work for the U.S. Government. However there is a dramatic scene of a loud argument between them in which Edward is the workaholic and financial support and responsible one who says she lives in a "fairytale."

In another scene, Edward suggests she go home to her parents. Which she does.

However, the bonus interview was a bit more interesting.  Edward Snowden says the argument scene makes him look like the world's worst boyfriend.  He also compliments Lindsay exceedingly for forgiving him, understanding him, and continuing to be supportive of him by not quitting their relationship and being there in Russia for him.  I would have loved it if Lindsay had also been interviewed live from Russia.  I just don't know that the actress Shailene Woodley "became" Lindsay Mills or not.  There are many photos of Lindsay on the Internet and on YouTube, many she owns or originally posted.  But I have no sense of her personality really.

I completely agree with the statements Edward Snowden makes about the VALUE OF PRIVACY and the difference between what you CHOOSE to put on the Internet and someone else does.  He says our lack of privacy due to the Internet in general, e-mail, cell phones, and much else recording us has caused us to LOOSE THE ABILITY TO MAKE MISTAKES.

I the last few days, I attended a meeting where a photographer showed up and the person leading the meeting gave casual permission, jokingly to photo us.  I went with it but later worried about how I might appear and that the photo might be used out of context with the purpose for the meeting.  Yesterday as I talked to my neighbor as he watered his lawn, another neighbor who is a wedding photographer decided to practice his drone photography by hovering over us.  Of course, without our permission.  My neighbor mentioned using drones for photography was now popular for wedding photographers.  I must be getting more old fashioned by the moment.  I dislike photographers inside wedding ceremonies and think the wedding party should go take photos elsewhere, such as a studio, like they used to.  When someone brags to me about photographing or videoing the birth of their child I think "is nothing sacred?"

So, I thought Oliver Stone did a good job of presenting to us a likeable and believable Edward Snowden, a Patriot, and a Whistleblower, which is opposite that Edward Snowden portrayed by Edward Epstein in his book which I talked about earlier this month.  The film is very popular.  I was on a wait list of several hundred people with over 50 copies making the rounds.


C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017


 Missy here! 

I was just looking through COMMENTS today and found some Spam as well as a few very nice posts that I could not post because they contained personal information such as e-mail addresses.  Generally, I may post a good comment that appears under a related post that has a link to your own Noncommercial Blog or Website, but if you put an e-mail address I won't.  I have no way of knowing for sure that you're the actual owner of that e-mail but even if you are, it doesn't seem safe or smart to. To expose an e-mail like that is a great way for you to be badly spammed yourself.

I heard from one of the authors of a book I posted who thanked me but also wanted my review to be used on Amazon. Thanks for the compliment but Amazon ownership is incredibly wealthy. In fact Jeff B. is one of the richest men in the world. And I'm not at all.  Why should my hard work at  buying or borrowing books, reading, writing a review, and posting, be used or owned by anyone but me? If you want to link from  your official author blog to my review, that's respectful. Sometimes I spend many hours on my subject. So no I am not giving my Copyright over to one of the riches men in the world. And don't you either!

Which brings up the fact that though I do all that work, the profiles of Kept Men and Women and other topics here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO are not biographies.  I'm always open to your comments, including if you politely disagree with me, but please also provide some references, such as the name of the book or a link to an article that defies the stance I've decided to take.  I can't read them all but I just might.  Also, sometimes I will use more than one book and post and review the other book(s) later in the month.

I try to post images that are OK to use for NONPROFIT BLOGS and WEB SITES, some in the Public Domain, some not.  If you copy an image I have searched for and used here and are making bucks using it or making bucks on the site where you used it, let me remind you that's not the usual Copyright or Fair Use agreement and You may end up in trouble!

Finally, though I don't write for hits, I do look at stats and I do hope that those of you who are attracted to this site looking for the most scandalous stories will read more and come to understand that for every one mistress who was considered scandalous and so had a book or books written about her, or who wrote her own memoir, there were probably at least a thousand others who continued to live private lives.  The purpose of this blog is not to out people so much as to come to understand that there was no one way for a women (or man) to become or be a Mistresses (or Kept).  So, do me a favor and go further with your reading  about Dawn Shiller, and Faith Domergue to women like our Honorary Mistress of May 2017, Lindsay Mills, to Isadora Duncan or Georgia O'Keefe. Take a look in PAGES where I've been keeping a list of all the topics!  I guarantee your understanding will deepen, even your feminism may deepen, as has mine!  Missy

Sunday, May 14, 2017


There are so very many ways to love, something that Mistresses seem to know well. After all, their love is not always sanctioned by legal marriage. As a result, in order to avoid possible scandal, and to keep their relationship "as is," a mistress often accepts that she will never marry the person she loves, and keeps to a separate social group. If she has chosen well, she suffers less than the woman who has no love at all, and if years go by, it's quite possible she will have children, "extra matrimonial" children, who deserve all her love too.

What about her own mother?  Some Mistresses have mothers who have also been Mistresses, some Mistresses have mothers who have been kept from the truth, and some mothers are in the know but do not approve.

Some people have mothers who are easy to love, and some not, still, whatever your situation, try to love your mummy.  Don't forget her on this very American holiday.  Give her a call.  Tell her what you love about her.

"Today is the day that I express my love to the mother or mothers who deserve my love."

Thursday, May 11, 2017


Stone did lots of research including in person interviews in Russia, and even bought the rights to the spy novel (a first) that Edward Snowden's Russian Lawyer, who Edward Epstein wrote is a personal friend of Vladimir Putin, for a million dollars.

Here's Stone on why Edward Snowden's RELATIONSHIP is what makes it a dramatic story:

Edward's Parents went to the premier of the film, and spoke to the actor who portrayed him:

I'm waiting on a copy and will post a review after I see the film for myself! Missy
I'm still waiting on May 19th but am told I'll have my copy before the month is over!

Saturday, May 6, 2017


There are thousands of news articles to read around Edward Snowden, as well as a documentary film, CitizenFour, and a fictive, Oliver Stone produced film, Snowden, to watch, to form an opinion of Snowden, and what he and our United States government did.  I've been following the EDWARD SNOWDEN STORY for years, since I first heard this American was in a Moscow airport bolt hole, along with Sarah Harrison of Wikileaks, who was instrumental in getting him to Russia.  But maybe he knew he was heading there all along.

When I went looking for a well researched book to read to try and understand more, the librarian suggested this one, as Edward Jay Epstein in a respected journalist and author.  This is investigative journalism, and it's persuasive:  Edward Snowden does fit the definition of Spy, as we generally, and certainly our government has, not just in this case, but historically.  His activities to steal information and expose it, and his way to Russia, all of it, did not happen nilly willy.  It was a concentrated, possibly orchestrated (by Russia) effort, and he planned it and he knew what he was doing.

Check out this article by Glenn Greenwald on website entitled WHY HAS TRUST IN MEDIA COLLAPSED? Dated March 30, 2017, goes against Epstein, as he is one of those who made a case for Snowden's spy status by bringing up what I'll call "Snowden's Missing in Hong Kong days."

An excerpt:  Greenwald wrote, "Contrary to the fable these outlets dispensed to their readers — that Snowden did not check in to the Mira Hotel on May 21 as he claimed but only did so on June 1, 11 days later — these new documents, obtained from the Mira, prove that Snowden arrived there exactly when he always said, rendering their published stories factually false"  Greenwald goes on to say that Edward Jay Epstein used this incorrect information as a "linchpin" in his book, "How America Lost It's Secrets."

I do not agree with Greenwald that "Snowden's Missing in Hong Kong days," are the linchpin of proof that he is a spy or that this error is what Epsteins book relies on as proof that Snowden is a spy for Russia (or possibly China.)  No Epstein really does slowly and factually build a case, and like the film maker Oliver Stone, he did a lot of interviewing and talking to experts.  I conclude that while Snowden says he wants to return to the U.S. if he is guaranteed a fair trial, a fair trial would have to include much of what Epstein has brought forth.
Since this book is a page turner and I can't reference the whole thing in a blog post, I'll just go over some of the important information.

- Sarah Harrison of Wikileaks, created the flight to Cuba that journalists tried to get on to follow the story (and many other flights booked at the same time) to create confusion and a diversion.
- When the plane they were on landed in Russia, where Snowden should not have been allowed in without a Visa, officials met the plane, took them off it before other passengers  could deplane, and knew to receive them and where to hide them.  While in Hong Kong he'd talked to some Russian officials.  He did not apply for Visas to other countries while there.
- He methodically and intelligently planned his employment to access what he wanted to steal.
- In Chapter 16, "The Question of When,"  and Chapter 15, "Did Snowden Act Alone?" we learn that he had to have gotten the passwords to up to 24 vaults that he could not have in his previous - pre NSA - employment which suggests that he may have not been alone in all this.  At least one other person could have been in the plot, but it seems Snowden was going to be the guy to take the solo public blame. Was he recruited by the KGB based on the fact that he was a disgruntled employee?
- In Chapter 13, we learn that Snowden stole over 900,000 military files, and that the vast majority of the documents he had, which would make him valuable to our enemies,  do not involve domestic surveillance of ordinary people who are not criminal or terrorists.
- Snowden has a history of lying about his employment, reasons for being let go, and his income and has used health issues that were made up, since his brief stay in the military.  He also mislead - manipulated the journalists he selected to tell his story, using journalism as public relations.
WHERE DOES THIS LEAVE LINDSAY MILLS?  Edward Jay Epstein doesn't say it but I will. Most likely he isn't so compartmentalized as to be honest with her.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017


This image found in Google image search under Lindsay Mills Wiki


HER FRIENDS NEVER MET HIM, so they wondered if he really existed.  (Mistress credentials begin to accumulate!)

Her father, Jonathan Mills, back in 2013 when the international drama was first unfolding, said that she and Edward Snowden, the techie employed as a contractor for Booz Allen Hamilton, who secretly downloaded millions of documents belonging to the NSA (National Security Agency: a US federal defense bureau established in 1972 that specializes in cryptography) and fled the United States to Hong Kong and then Russia, had been "dating" for four or five years.  Dating? That's an understatement. Like what?  Ed picked Lindsay up in his car and took her out to the movies on Saturday nights?  But then dad admitted he didn't always know where in the world she was. Which again, gives the lovely Lindsay mistress credentials; traveling to be with her man, and to foreign countries where she cannot expect to earn her own income. This woman is either an heiress or Kept. Who was paying for all that travel and her living expenses?  If dad was picking up the tab wouldn't he know where his daughter was?  Needless to say, she may not have been working to support herself because you can't go just get a job in foreign countries without being hired by an American Company there first or having special Visas and work permits.

According to respected journalist/author Edward Epstein (book below), and other sources, including Lindsay herself, Lindsay has so far lived with Edward Snowden in Russia, Hong Kong (prior to his run there), Hawaii, Switzerland, Japan, not to mention locations in the continental United States.  She is stuck on him!

Lindsay Mills is Edward Snowden's very best, possibly only real friend, lover, and confidant.  Yet, he says he told her nothing about what he was doing, as he very purposely got himself hired to complete the methodical work of stealing documents that began before he worked for Booz Allen Hamilton on NSA work.  He says he didn't want to implicate her.  And she's not.

Lindsay's educated, a graduate of Maryland Institute College of Art, a ballerina, true, and she is also an acrobat and pole dancer, but paying work?  She would not be the first Mistress to travel with and be the emotional support of a man with a good income and though she blogs and poses for selfies, some of which appear professional, she's all about her relationship.

No reason to think there's an adultery in this relationship.

But then you don't have to be married to be Kept!
From our Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot perspective, the question of how devious or manipulative or honest this sincere-seeming boy next door type with the hot Mistress is, has bearing on how we perceive his long relationship with Lindsay.  Maybe these two are soul mates, and maybe neither of them believe in marriage.  It's a "institution" after all. Maybe she can forgive him anything!  Maybe they're the Odd Couple?
Seems to me Lindsay Mills was thrust into the spotlight because of her man's activities, and because of this infamy, she is being used (in a nice way) to normalize Ed and their unconventional relationship.  Back in the day people would say that Lindsay's "beautiful enough to marry," which was meant as a compliment but had a way of slapping down women whose best attributes were not their looks.  But they haven't. We actually don't know what their deal is as a couple.  Because of all the years they have together surely they have one.  I suspect one thing that's part of it is that Lindsay not ask questions. (Familiar to any of you Mistresses out there?) After all those years, it's said she was ready to marry him.  Detractors on the Internet surmised that he had taken whistleblowing and fleeing as a way to avoid marriage too.

While Edward must have been about to implode as he calmly went to work each day, figuring out how to get passwords beyond his security clearance and do extensive downloading on thumbdrives, steadily acquiring documents that he agreed as an employee he would protect, Lindsey seemed to be exposing not only her body but the emotional rollercoaster she was on in her relationship on the internet.  Maybe they each have a different relationship to the issue or privacy.

She poetically wrote on her blog in June of 2013, when the truth that her man was not just on a business trip hit:

"My world has opened and closed all at once.  Leaving me lost at sea without a compass.  Surely there will be villainous pirates, distracting mermaids, and tides of change in this new open water chapter of my journey..."

I watched a number of YouTube videos that are still up from that time that have inaccurate information, in particular that they'd broken up. I think about the term "fake news" which has made us all question how much we read is opinion and how much is journalism and how much is opinion sold as journalism.  (At the end of the month I will ask you to make comments on a series of questions I have about these two. I do try and reference books, news articles, interviews, and so on as a basis for what is my opinion.)

I was riveted to learn that about the same time as she was in shock, and he was holed up in Russia, she and Ed were texting! 

In 2014, our Honorary Mistress of the Month - LINDSAY MILLS - began living with Ed, who is either a whistleblower or spy, hero or traitor or patriot,  in exile in Russia - following her heart once again - although it's not clear to me what her entry and stay requirements are; She may actually come and go, thus validating her self description as a "vagabond." What's not reported is if she too has a deal with Russia, like he most certainly does, to be there. 

One thing for sure, the reportage on Lindsay is comparatively minimalistic compared to the thousands of news articles that have come out since Edward Snowden was reportedly going to transfer on a plane to Cuba and did a no show, and Sarah Harrison of Wikileaks fame, turned out to be stuck with him in the puzzling zone of the International Airport in Moscow where reporters searched to find them.

I watched the documentary CitizenFour, at home on a DVD.  It was interesting and suspenseful, even though I knew the outcome. I believed Edward Snowden was right to expose United States governmental spying on citizens through their cyber and cell phone use, but I also think that the United States needs to be secured and it turns out he took much more information than I thought.
Dressed beautifully, was Lindsay at the side of the filmmakers on the stage to accept their awards.  It was said that she was there to represent Edward.

 When I hear that Ed doesn't believe he will get a fair trial in the United States but would come back here if he was guaranteed one, I think, "but a fair trial would present at least as much as Edward Epstein's book, and he still might go to prison for the rest of his life."

Then, what happens to Lindsay?  She loves him.  But I ask you, if Lindsay was your best girlfriend or your sister would you tell her to stay with Edward or move on?

At the time Edward, 29, left Hawaii without explanation, Lindsay Mills, 28, even called herself a "superhero."  Of course she has a sense of humor.  In Hawaii, she was left stymied and had to answer the door when investigators came calling looking for her man, who had lied to his superiors at work to buy time.

She blogged, L's Journey (LSJOURNEY.COM went down for a while but is back up.) She also was extremely open on her blog about the emotional chaos she was in, when she returned home from a trip to a note that he would be gone on a business trip for a while.  Understatement of the Century - thus far!  But then Ed has a history of self mocking avatars, as well as stretching the truth about his titles, responsibilities, and pay; he lies. Were his lies to keep his privacy, to cover his activities, or what?

On her blog, she reveals her body in many provocative selfies that are titillating, showing off her sometimes androgynous, sensibly muscular dancer - acrobat body.  Some of this photos are so well staged and lit that they appear to be professional photographs.  Ed thinks she's beautiful.  So do I. 

He hadn't informed her that he was abandoning her in favor of being a real Superhero of sorts, letting Americans and the countries thought to be our Allies know that they were being spied on in vast data collections.  (I hope to watch this film before the month is over!)


This book is the primary reference for this month concerning Edward Snowden and his long time Mistress (my judgment call) Lindsay Mills.  I've also read a dozens of recent articles on the Internet seeking information about their relationship. I've been reading around Edward Snowden, Julian Assange, Wikileaks and the subject of privacy since I first heard there was an American stuck inside the terminal of an International airport in Moscow. I wanted to know "where is he really?" In an hourly motel room?  Off premises and in the hands of the KGB?  Alive?  Dead? 

Among the many articles I read in my search for Lindsay are the following:
DAILY BEAST by Caroline Linton : snowden-s-girlfriend-writes-all-i-feel-is-alone
VANITY FAIR :snowden-girlfriend-lindsay-mills-Oscars
BUZZ FEED: This is Edward Snowden's Girlfriend (Great Photos!)

C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights 
If interested in Russia related Mistresses, you  may want to search this blog for:
February 2011  Alina Kabaeva and Vladimir Putin
February 2016  Isadora Duncan (After having been the Mistress  of Paris Singer, she kept and married a famous, much younger Russian poet.) or run words like Russia, or dancer, or Slavic!

Sunday, April 30, 2017


Once in a while we speculate...  We already know that being Kept doesn't always involve adultery, especially not when so many couple choose to live together a long time before they marry, if they marry at all.

I'll keep you guessing - just a bit!


Saturday, April 29, 2017


Hello Readers!

In December 2016 I finally decided to try reading by e-book.  Basically, I've always been a book lover - a book worm - and one who uses libraries, goes to books sales and bookstores and book fairs. I always seems to have two or three books to read at a time.  For this blog I like to read at least one well regarded book before choosing my subject matter such as the Mistress of the Month but sometimes I read books that I reject or two or three or four.  I also read magazine articles and news on line, including some old archived articles.  Then I'm ready to make a decision and take a position. 

I've learned over the last few months that there are some true positives for reading by e-book.  One is saving me time, though I still do visit my library and read paper.  I check to see if a book I want to read is available as an e-book and sometimes after a chapter or so I decide the books isn't appealing and that saves me borrowing or buying it.  Another is that I can use the search in Overdrive(my app) to scan the book before I read it to see if there is much reference to the person or subject that I want to learn about.  For instance, more than one mistress featured at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT has so been in the shadows that you might have to read a few books to find a mention of her name.  I know I can count on the book being mine to read for 21 days reading an e - sometimes renewable several times - before I can take notes.  I still take notes by hand - sometimes hundreds of pages.  I go back to the bookmarked pages when I'm taking notes to see if I still feel the information on those pages is relevant.

Of course books are the work of writers - authors - and really when I reference a book that's more than a year or two old it's like revaluing the work.  I look at this blog as a way to introduce my readers to many of these talented, skilled, ambitious, and determined people who have managed to produce an entire manuscript, market it, get agents, get PR, and then - some of them - do that again.  As I understand it, the initial push to market a book is when they make it or break it financially.
If there is a mistress you know about that you think would make a good subject, please leave a comment.  Any books you'd recommend?  That too!

As part of the Google Blogger there are stats.  I look at these once in a while and see that many people are reading MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT on their cell phone. Although some of the most popular posts have "legs of their own" and so take dominance when you use the Internet to find the blog or information about someone of interest to you, I encourage you to seek a bit further, read another month, use the archives to see who else might interest you, because truly, many hours are put into each and every subject!

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, April 27, 2017


Some people are more Mistress Friendly than others.  It might depend upon the person, what she's like before she becomes a Mistress, and what your friendship was like before she became one of the many women (and men) who has send Yes to non-Traditional relationship.


Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Melissa Macsaysay wrote this book and it's C 2012

WANT TO "GO HOLLYWOOD" with your personal fashion statement?  Well, Southern California, in particular the city of Los Angeles, has zones of fashion understanding, which include the Romantic Bohemians, Glamour (what you usually think of as Hollywood), the Rockers (a lot of space devoted to Once Upon a Time Groupie Pamela Des Barres who I've featured here last September on Groupie month), Skaters and Surfers (based on Preppie!),Chola-Style, Indie-Eclectic, Casual-Chic, and well, whatever you can come up with!  It might have something to do with where you live or hang out, Silver Lake and Los Feliz being different than Beverly Hills.

This book comes with lots of photos of good looking well dressed people who are the epitome of style in each category, what a basic wardrobe consists of, as well as referrals to some of the best stores in the area to buy clothing and accessories that you desire.

I loved this quote from someone named China Chow, " More than any place I can think of, LA is a true collage-city; desert, ocean, mountains, hills, urban centers, and suburban flats - and the style is by nature varied, complex, camera ready, and yes, incredibly relevant and influential."  (It's in the Indie-Eclectic category.)

Did you know that Los Angeles is the denim capital of the world, even though many manufacturers took their blue jeans making to other, cheaper countries?  When they left, they left the facilities for the smaller, designer brands to lodge themselves in and the result has been innovation and caring about the details.  An excellent fitting pair of jeans may be the basis for an LA wardrobe.

As for me, although I have a rocker alter ego hidden somewhere in me, I'm in the Casual Chic category with the Casual Bohemian (think Laurel Canyon in the Mama Cass era).  Now off I go to the stores recommended to see what they've got for sale!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

HEF's 91 and NOT ALL EX BUNNIES REGRET KNOWING HIM - Pamela Anderson and birthday news

HUGH HEFNER, the founder of Playboy Magazine and Playboy Enterprises recently celebrated his 91st birthday. According to various news articles he released a Soundtracks of My Life CD on Amazon shortly before.  The magazine itself had stopped having nude photo spreads.  They are back, though his 25 year old son's taste in nudies may be different than Hef's, who liked the "girl next door" (available) look.  Some of the old girlfriends apparently don't regret their experience or have the manners to still say happy birthday.

HEFNER is known for backing 1st Amendment Rights and some philanthropy including supporting the CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT group which helps teens who have turned to prostitution. CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT

Monday, April 17, 2017

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Being a Girlfriend Who'se Good and True - Fair and Foul Weather Friend

Reading Holly Madison's memoir about living in the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's Girlfriends, and then as the Main Girlfriend, and how she survived it, made me sad.  Despite being called a "Girlfriend" she had no good and true friends in the situation, and the situation was her life, unless you count one of the older women who had been with Hef as an assistant for decades who seemed to be there for her a little.  (I'm skeptical.)

Holly would hope for someone new to be a friend, even recruit one, but the new woman's competitiveness or personality or drug addiction would soon end that hope. Who was there to speak with intelligence about any of her interests or real feelings?  Not Hef.  He chauvinistically had his circle of men friends for that. It does seem like his type was Blonde Bimbo, and Holly was willing to pretend to be that and act as if. She was alone and lonely surrounded by people.

It's always possible to have a "girlfriend" who is actually a man, gay or straight, platonic. There is something to be said for having other women, who live in a female body, and have female body issues like you do, as a friend.  I'm using the term girlfriend here to mean someone you are not sexual or romantic with.  (I know it may sound a little old fashioned or confuse some people but I don't mean necessarily a lesbian romance.) 

They say it takes being one to have one.  So, be a Good and True friend to at least one other woman.  Be that person who can listen well, understand or try to, have empathy, and be trustworthy. Be there when she needs you.  Save her reputation. Help her get good work. As in all relationships there has to be some give and take, as well as being both responsible for keeping the relationship going, no matter what's going on. 

Choose her well.  Then stick with her.

Saturday, April 15, 2017


DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE  Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny  by Holly Madison

Notes and Commentary from Missy

Notes from pages  75 and 79:

Holly says in her book that Hugh Hefner (and members of his staff, some of whom had offices in the Mansion), watched what the girlfriends were doing with their $1000 a week allowances. The girlfriends were considered to be part of the marketing and public relations team for Hefner and the Playboy Enterprises business, but they were also expected to have sex with the boss. The $1000 a week was expected to be spent on lingerie and sexy clothing that they could be seen in around town when they went clubbing two nights a week as well at parties at the Mansion. For some time they were expected to go out two nights a week and then return to the Master Bedroom where some or all of them would have sex.

There were many rules they had to follow to continue living at the Mansion, including a relatively early 9 PM curfew when not out with Hef - and for years Holly obeyed that, while many of the girls had outside boyfriends and would sneak in and out, she refrained.  Whoever was the "main girlfriend" shared the Master Bedroom with Hef, and most nights might just spend time watching TV or reading side by side, but the others had bedrooms on the same floor.

Notes from Page 136

Circa 2008, Playboy Enterprises, not Hef personally, owned the Mansion, and the company had not been profitable for some time, despite so much effort to stay relevant.  He paid the company RENT for the bedrooms, so if no one was occupying a room, no rent for that room was paid.  This many be why he went from six to only three girlfriends.  He paid $25,000 a MONTH for his master suite, at that time $12,000 a month for a room used by Kendra, $10,000 a MONTH for one used by Bridget, with smaller rooms going for $5000 to $7000 a month.

(I'm thinking that the girlfriends were tax deductible!)

A common request that was usually granted to a girlfriend was that Hef pay for cosmetic procedures.  Holly had paid for her own breast enlargement as a college student but she asked Hef to pay for a nose job, which he did.

They had their food, shelter, and clothing, as payment for their services.  He paid for their nights out, their dates, and sometimes that included travel.

The girlfriends also had their hair and other beauty services done at the Jose Eber Hair Salon, at least a couple times a week, at no charge to them.

At Christmas time Hef would give each girl money to spend on the others for gifts, about $500 for each girl.  One year Holly had about $3500 to spend on the other girlfriends.  Sometimes they attempted to purchase the same gift for each person, say the same handbags, or the same skirt, so that they would have a unified look when they went out.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017


EXCERPT: The revolutionary magazine, which debuted in 1953, has gone through many changes in the past 63 years. This past February, Hugh Hefner’s son Cooper, 25, who serves as Playboy’s chief creative officer, announced that the magazine would bring back nude models after instating a short-lived ban. "I'll be the first to admit that the way in which the magazine portrayed nudity was dated but removing it entirely was a mistake,” Cooper explained. "Nudity was never the problem because nudity isn't a problem. Today we're taking our identity back and reclaiming who we are.”

Missy here:  Not every Playboy Model or Playboy Bunny has regrets.  Notably, Pamela Anderson seems quite happy with what Hugh Hefner did for her - a start as an actress and model. In my Opinion, while it's important to hone your beauty, when a woman is best known for it, especially when she models nude, she may have a difficult time being taken seriously.

Monday, April 10, 2017


This vintage drawing of a small child trying to charm a rabbit is so cute. It was drawn by Jessie Willcox Smith. She was an American illustrator who lived from 1863-1935.

Saturday, April 8, 2017


DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE  Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny  by Holly Madison

Pages 66 and 68 and 72:

"Inside the mansion, life wasn't at all like what I dreamed it would be.  Instead of a nightly slumber party with six of your best friends, I had entered the lions den.  It gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "keep your enemies close" and made a sorority house look like Bible Study.

...  He ( Hugh Hefner) decided he wasn't going to make any more of his girlfriends Playmates, but he never told that to anyone. He dangled the possibility of Playmate-hood in order to keep the girl's interested. The more aggressive girlfriends would take whatever measures necessary to secure a centerfold, even ruthlessly throwing another girl under the bus, if that meant she would gain favor with him.

Prior to moving into the mansion, I'd been a fairly confident person  but it didn't take long for my self-worth to start to crumble.  After being identified by the other girlfriends as persona non grata, I had become the victim of their ruthless "mean - girl-ing."  .... According to their ruthless taunting I was the "hick girl" from Nowheresville, USA.  They found my optimistic attitude corny and my confidence threatening so they did whatever they could to tear me down.  Sadly, I have to say it worked...

... I was so constantly on edge that I eventually developed a stammer

Notes from Missy

Throughout the book, Hugh Hefner is characterized as a manipulator who likes it that the women are fighting over him and so with each other.