Saturday, October 14, 2017


Hello Readers,

For years now I've been posting "DECLARATIONS FOR MISTRESSES," which are based in AFFIRMATIONS and usually have some personal experience or opinion attached to them. These have tied in with the title of this blog MISTRESSMANIFESTO.BLOGSPOT.COM. 

I've been thinking of dropping these, though I think the ones already posted are valuable (and not just for mistresses), in favor of some other monthly column, maybe advice, maybe something else.

If you have an opinion or any ideas that you'd like to share let me know using COMMENTS.  Remember that if you do not want your comment to show, all you need to do is write DO NOT POST and I won't.  Your comment will not instantly post just because you hit send.

I'm interested in hearing if any or all of the DECLARATIONS FOR MISTRESSES has been helpful to you in your life.


Sunday, October 8, 2017



Hi Missy,
I've been kept by Daniel for five years and I can tell we're getting tired of each other.  While kept by Daniel I've completed a professional education which he paid the tuition on and I'll always be thankful for that.

I met Jerome through Daniel but they are not close friends.  I went with Daniel to a special event and they knew each other through business. Jerome and I go out to lunch once in a while and we very much like each other.  So when he started hinting that maybe he'd like to be with me I just listened.  Best friend Nancy thinks Daniel might be trying to encourage Jerome towards me.  Daniel and I seem to be loyal to each other but there's an age difference to think about.  What do you think about a woman changing men who keep her?



Hi Joannie,

Though thanks to your own determination and Daniel's money you now have an advanced degree.  So do you plan to use it?  I suggest you at least start out trying to.  Because then you really will not need to be kept, and that's a different mind set isn't it?
Maybe you're down playing the wonderful qualities of both men by not mentioning any.
Maybe Nancy is right.  (And maybe the two men know each better than you think.)
When a man feels that he has gone as far as he can go with a woman and tries to give her a soft landing by introducing her to his friends, that's an "ouch!"  I have heard of this working out though.

I once heard of a husband and wife who divorced and then each of them found the other the perfect partner!

So maybe it's time to have that heart to heart talk with Daniel.  With five years between you, you both deserve that.


Monday, October 2, 2017


(May 15, 1927 – March 23, 1969)
Mistress of the Month

The review that follows is my take on Assia after reading the book:

"She devil?"  Well, it's not my original idea of Assia Wevill and maybe after you learn the facts of her life, you'll agree or not to label this talented, charming, and effervescent woman this way. The talk about her "feral" beauty and seductiveness began just as she was blossoming.  No doubt about it, there are people who believe if it were not for poet Ted Hughes and Assia Wevill's involvement, poet Sylvia Plath might have not commit suicide shortly before Valentine's Day in 1963. Maybe Ted Hughes used Assia to break his marriage with Sylvia?

In 1933, when Assia was in kindergarten, her parents, a German-Lutheran mother and an atheist Jewish father, were among the 25,000 Jewish and mixed marriage couples in a first wave to leave Nazi Germany in three months.  One step ahead of the Nazi's, Doctor Gutman was one of 3500 Jewish physicians out of work when Hitler aryanized public heath care.  He chose to go to Palestine, where he could still practice medicine. This was the beginning of the years in which Assia's family struggled and lived low. Eventually they sold the furniture and the silverware, everything, after a decade of deprivation in Palestine. But their exit to Canada was based on her probably arranged marriage to a Canadian.  Eventually, she went to Great Britain where the drama unfolded. Assia's family may have survived but they never regained the status they had in pre-Nazi Germany. She was always dealing with cultural change. To her credit she excelled in languages speaking German, Russian, Italian, Hebrew, English, and French!

As a young woman Assia was called a femme fatal and was said to have beauty like Elizabeth Taylor. She was judged to have power over men and it was assumed she could ride through life based on her beauty. She was actually an intellectual and a "Creative" born too soon to enjoy the progress of feminism. If she didn't want marriage and motherhood, it was frankly her best option in those times, the late 1940's through the 1950's.  In better circumstances, she might have become a professor of literature.  Instead she'd become the wife of professional and literary men.

Assia's nonconformity was misunderstood, casting her as an adventuress out for a good time and with an easy sexuality, as evidenced by her use of abortion as contraception.  Maybe she was just trying to survive. These were the days before the Pill and the IUD.  Certainly she was no Sylvia Plath, the poet who claimed motherhood as necessary for women, but who left her children motherless when she killed herself with her head in a gas oven.

Assia's was married to a service man and boarder of the family named John Steele.  Her father opposed the marriage but she went forward at age 20, having already had a pregnancy scare, and very likely continued to date and have affairs after that marriage, even before they left for Canada. Yet, this is confusing, supposedly Steele didn't even tell her the plan was to immigrate to Canada.  Her reaction to being so disrespected and used was to attempt suicide with pills. So, like Sylvia Plath, Assia Wevill had a history of depression and suicidal behavior before she ever met Ted Hughes, a poet who had published and attracted literary fame.

She needed a divorce and the only reason legally was adultery.  Someone had to admit to it or document it and there was a lively business  going on, including actresses and photographers for hire.  Assia did the admitting and got out of her marriage of inconvenience. Assia tried to cancel the marriage by saying it was a sexless, annulled marriage.

She did enroll in college at the University of British Columbia, and renamed herself Pamela A.E. Steele.  She was active in social activities and clubs and not perceived as much of an academic.  Probably for good reason, she feared suffering from anti-Semitism.  She started speaking in a more cultivated English accept, but shoplifted cosmetics and stole her sisters clothes, all in an effort to remake herself.

Her second husband was Richard Lipsey, who met her and proposed to her a week into their affair. He decided six months later that she was only good for an affair but he didn't bail out on the marriage proposal. He'd known her reputation before he started with her.  Lipsey was headed for a PhD at the London School of Economics.  Maybe his later testimonials are a Lipsey gone conservative.  More accurately, the young couple were part of a mid 1950's hip group of students who were liberal about sex and even communal about it.  Strangely, as if she'd been passed on, Lipsey became life long friends with first husband, Steele.  Four years into this second marriage, Lipsey was ready for children, and she wasn't.  It's said that before the drama was over for him, he attempted suicide.

David Wevill, husband number three, was met on board a ship.  Wevill was a Canadian History and English professor and poet.  In a pattern of behavior, Assia and David had an instant shipboard affair and declared their love. This time Assia got a job out of the affair as an interpreter.  She translated broadcasts from the Middle East, moving between English, Hebrew, and Arabic.  From there she got a job as a secretary for an advertising agency in London. 

Wevill proved to be the best husband so far.  He was a published poet in in the same "Poetry from Cambridge" anthology as Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath.  That, and a poetry group, was the connection.  (Assia also writes poetry but hers is secret work, unpublished and not shared.)By 1958, David Wevill accepted two years of teaching in Burma while Assia stayed in London working.  Their living apart resulted in another divorce which he decided.  Before the drama was over for him, he attempted suicide too.

Assia did not live as most women did in her time.  She was not faithful, she was not interested in motherhood, she was married and divorced four times. She had so many abortions in her lifetime that Ted Hughes called her "The Lilith of Abortion." Thus the "She Devil" label.  She kept everyone on their toes being unpredictable.  She wasn't stable.

Let me switch now to a focus on poet Sylvia Plath, who feminist women have taken up as a cause.  Driven and talented, and mentally ill, Ted Hughes said she was "draining" him. He was unable to do his writing around her and the children. Was she draining or is it that he couldn't cope with being a father and husband?  Was it that he tried having an artist for a wife and did not like it?  Sylvia attacked Assia as not being what she was - a mother.

He had a family who did not approve of his lifestyle and he seemed unable to separate from them. Then again, he needed someone to care for the children.  Was not Assia a bad choice for that task after Sylvia died?

Sylvia had been shattered by his betrayal, and threw Ted's letters and manuscripts into a bonfire. Sure Ted was conflicted and maybe torn up about leaving the children with Sylvia or his family, but he used his friends to cover for him when he disappeared for a break away from his wife and for time alone with Assia - a holiday in Spain - freedom. A hot affair, they were mutually convinced the other was the love of their life.  Can we hold that against either of them?  Yet at this point all spouses involved wanted them to just come to their senses and come home!  Ted and Sylvia had been married six years when they had their second child.  Was Ted just having "the seven year itch?"

The couples met in the summer of 1961, struggling with conservative values not ready to join the Swinging 60's.  They were a generation too old to be part of that.  In 1962  Assia was 34, not a mini skirted mod, not into drugs or hippie culture or a beehive hair do.  She had her issues but drinking wasn't one of them.  She didn't. She had a sophisticated and classic look and she worked in advertising and was successful.  Yet her own mental instability lead to her creating scenes for attention.  She even claimed to her husband, David, that she had been raped by Ted Hughes.

In this horrible story, there are a lot of desperate, extremely emotional people prone to suicide attempts.  Sylvia dead, Ted was not up to raising his two children he'd had with her on his own. Assia moved in with Ted Hughes, into the home that he had shared with Sylvia.  She was haunted by Sylvia. The woman who had so many abortions finally allowed a child to be born. At the age of 37, in 1965, while London was Swinging, she had a daughter she  nicknamed "Shura." She was still married to David Wevill but the child is implied to be fathered by Ted. In 1969, the over 40 Assia followed Sylvia's example of using gas in a kitchen to kill herself and her four year old. She gave her daughter sleeping pills first.  And so she became not only a suicide but a murderer. 

Did the authors do everyone involved justice?  I believe the two Jewish male authors of this book were fascinated with Assia, and in a subtle way this is a story born in Naziism and the diaspora of Jews from Germany, and what happened to them, how it effected them to have to flee for survival.  Assia's Gutman's life had its wonderful moments but ended in tragedy.

C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017


We hear of Mistresses who started out working for a boss.  Some stay with the company and get their own Social Security and Retirement - come what may of the company itself, retirements, the relationship.  We hear of Mistresses who have their own business and the start up capital came from their man.  They work it and some of them have very successful and profitable businesses and can pay personal loans back or provide money when his business sinks.  We hear of Mistresses who are entirely Kept.  I hear that is rare these days and only the very rich can do so, but it still happens.

If you are Kept, how do you manage to save and invest for retirement?

Personally, if a person can afford it, I think it's very decent to be bought a house that is put into your name so that you have at least that.  Houses usually appreciate so that maybe when you are very old you will have to sell it to finance your last years.  So to me a house is a great investment and prevents you from having to cope with constant rent increases that use your money.

Sunday, September 24, 2017


DORIS DUKE was an heiress who became one of the richest women in the world.  She owned properties around the world and traveled extensively.  She never found fulfillment in marriage and gave birth to a daughter who soon died.  She never had another child.  Doris had men and she wasn't especially conventional about men.  You could say she was a free spirit.  In the Film BERNARD and DORIS,  Ralph Fiennes acts as an increasingly feminine butler with a drinking problem, and Susan Sarandon acts as Doris.

No doubt Doris kept some men, perhaps only for sex, of the Boy Toy variety. As depicted in this film, which I enjoy, she is a woman who knows what she wants exactly and when she wants it. She sees a new gardener, she might want to try him in bed as Lady of the Manor. What of the handsome and fit model of a much younger man who also knows how to play the piano.  She gives him envelopes of cash but tells him she's leaving town and he must go.  He reasons that the house is big enough to stay and wait.  She tells him no.

Butler Bernard stays with her until her death, though he does get into the wine and end up in a rehab program that she pays for.  After all he admitted he had a wee bit of a problem with alcohol from the start. Based on real life (Bernard worked for Elizabeth Taylor previously).  They become playful friends and perhaps he is her only real confidant as she ages. Having traveled all over the world and had so many experiences, it is he who is there for her as she dies.

C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot Film Review

Thursday, September 21, 2017


Louis Cyr, strongest man on earth, 1898
MAE WEST loved the ultra masculinity of weight lifters
from her early womanhood when she was just
starting out as an entertainer, one who emphasized
the differences between men and women.

Monday, September 18, 2017


EXCERPT from a long tale by Tom Vallance                  
Chester Ribonsky (Paul Novak), sailor, bodybuilder and bodyguard: born Baltimore, Maryland 1923; died Santa Monica, California 14 July 1999

Friday, September 15, 2017


This postcard, originally from 1940, has landmarks in
each letter.  I think the H has the Ravenswood Apartments.
The Griffith Observatory is in the second O and
Graumann's Chinese Theater is in the third O.


Reading around United States President Donald Trump and his wife Melania, such a big deal is being made about them (probably) not sleeping in the same bed or having separate bedrooms.  Well, Paul Novak and Mae West never shared a bed or bedroom either, at least that's the claim.

Maybe it's more civilized to have your own room and your own bed.  My suspicion this isn't so much about sexual activity, but about being able to sleep, or to snore, or to simply not be seen not looking one's best for one's lover!  Don't you feel sometimes like you need to burrow in your own cave for a while, though you do love your partner?

Wednesday, September 13, 2017


Mae West's sense of humor and sexiness defied censors.

She joked:
"Look your best.  Who said love is blind?"
"Between two evils I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
"Marriage is a great institution but I'm not ready for an institution."

Monday, September 11, 2017


I'll never forget when a friend of mine graduated from a good college with a difficult to achieve degree and right out of school was hired by a Fortune 500 company.  She was making double what most people do right out of college and she was proud, but also just a little showy about it. Her new income was impressive but far more is offered today by those women who are graduating with PHD's in the sciences.

She began to attract men who wanted to be Kept. In their youth, they wanted to marry her but they wanted to be Kept.

One of them was her hairdresser.  He pledged that he would be willing to quit his business, transfer with her wherever the company might send her, and give her children if she wanted them and take care of them too.  At the time people called this a "role reversal."  It was rare to find a man who would consider it. When she came home from work, not only did he run a bath for her but he had dinner ready.  Every morning he did her hair.  She looked terrific.

My friend did not marry this man or Keep him, though while they were together she had her wallet open, and he was very comfortable letting her pay.  She transferred to another city where she never seemed to meet anyone to date.  Another transfer and the purchase of a little castle of a home on her own brought her another man who wanted to marry her but wanted to be Kept.  This one started sending his dry cleaning out with hers right away.  He did not want to give her children.  He intended to have a business that latched onto her career. He drove but he put his hand out for the gas money.  When his first business wasn't a go, she said, "That's OK."  Then she financed his second business.

She was no heiress.  She didn't have an impressive stock portfolio (not yet) and her family was just average. But so it went for a young woman with just a bit more than most.
Today many women are Keeping men who are like her.  It doesn't matter that they have just a little more because the man gets used to that little more being spent on them.


Does a man have to do your hair, run your bath water, drive you places?  Does he have to admire you and cater to your needs, anticipating whatever it might be that pleases you in the moment,  as our Mantress of the Month, Paul Novak, did Mae West?

Let me ask the women out there, Do you treat the men in your life that way?

If you are a man who wants to be Kept, showing off your expertise is the way to go, providing your expertise falls into the "help wanted" ad.  Stereotypically this means providing sexually satisfaction for your woman, and hopefully yourself, within reason.  But sex is not always necessary or even a priority.  So if your woman is perhaps not too interested in sex anymore, you need to make an agreement with her.  Do you get to have a lover too?  If she's an heiress, she might just want you to play tennis, go sailing, or travel with her.  If she's in business, she might just want to come home to a beautiful home setting and have dinner on the table, and maybe you get to meet her in another city but maybe not her business colleagues.  If she's married, you may also get to do these things, but in different locations and with a different group of friends.


Sometimes hardly at all.

I have a young neighbor who is Kept.  Yes, he's working every money making opportunity there is out there, via Uber, Lyft, AirBnB (when she is out of town.)  He's a high school drop out and very good musician, and yet, he's he doesn't actually hustle work.  He lets it find him.

She's got a Master's Degree in Marketing.  She pays the rent on a house and there are two new Tesla's in the driveway, one for him, one for her.
This woman will not marry him, something his parents, who are conservative, have pointed out.  When she's gone on business, she calls.  She does not say where exactly she is and who with and he doesn't ask. 

All week he takes care of her dog.  His parents also point out that he always wanted children and she has decided not to have any.  He's in his early thirties now.  Will he regret the years he has put in being Kept if and when she breaks with him?  (Seems to me most women are told they will regret it.)

There are those who are betting that she will break with him, the moment she meets her equal  or better in the business world.  Truly, I know he loves her and when she says things to him like "I'm not sure this is going to work out" and he becomes very depressed, I try not to give advice!

Being Kept does not require committing adultery!  With fewer couples actually marrying, the question is often, "Is it adultery?"

C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot   All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017



Dolly Parton, the country singer, now owns half of Mae West's jewelry.  Other pieces are for sale that prove that "Diamond Lil" as she was known, could have a heart of gold and trade the diamonds for glass.

Saturday, September 2, 2017


This image is from WIKICOMMONS

MAE WEST making a speech after the film premier of Sextette, which she wrote.

The handsome man in the tuxedo to her left is PAUL NOVAK. 
(1923 - 14 July 1999)

PAUL NOVAK, was born Chester Ribonsky, changed his name when he became a body builder to the more German sounding Chuck Krauser, and then, after he beat up Mr. Universe, Mickey Hargitay, some say over Mae, his name changed again; a new start with Mae, a new name.  He was 33 and she was 63 when they began. Novak knew he was meeting a woman with a long career as an entertainer on stage, a woman who wrote novels and plays for stage, a superstar at the Paramount Studios, and a Sex Goddess.  Not as well known to those of you reading Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot today is that Mae had a large African American following having asked Duke Ellington and a number of other African Americans to perform with her.

Paul Novak looked macho in his youth.  He had done military service, been in the merchant marines, and a gunner in World War II, and then in the Korean War. It's said that he was so much in love with the much older Mae, love at first sight for him, that he gave up on his dreams of sailing the world to meet her every need.

When she came to Hollywood, she moved into the Ravenswood Apartments in Hollywood and forever more considered her two bedroom apartment to be home. They kept separate bedrooms but it wasn't that big a place. Mae also had a 22 room beach house in Santa Monica where they spent much of their time.

He always called her "Miss West."  He was respectful and, well, servile, but there was much more to their relationship.  Volatile at first before they settled in, Mae said they were sexual and there too he met her needs.

He played chauffer and went into the store when they went to grocery shop while she stayed in the car incognito. He drove her to her beach house for the day where they played. He drove her in a limo to the San Francisco premier of a play she wrote. 

When she was diagnosed with diabetes, Paul kept Mae on an exercise and diet program, making sure she didn't load up on chocolates.  One to fib about her age, (officially Born Aug. 17, 1893 in Brooklyn and Died Nov. 22, 1890 in Hollywood) West may have thought that the truth about her age or marrying would effect her sex symbol status.  Paul watched over her protectively when a Playboy photographer came calling, never leaving the room.  He kept false friends away, spun the PR when she had a stroke, and ultimately buried the childless Mae when she died. 

Then he went to live at the marina on a small boat, then he took a cruise around the world on a big ship, then he disappeared from the people they once knew and the old haunts. 

He had no regrets, saying he had lived a wonderful life.  (But he did sue her estate.)

Novak had a brief time as a public person when he was a weight lifter.  He'd won Mr. Baltimore  - a weight lifting title. In 1954 he was one of the muscle men that West chose to be sex symbols for her Vegas stage show. Their relationship began about then.  Other than his weightlifting and stint as an entertainer with Mae, not much, besides what I've mentioned above, is known about him.  They were that private.  He was that quiet.  Or was it that he was that hidden?

Paul's role in Mae's life was not on stage but in the home.  He was there to keep her happy. 

He was easy going, quiet, intuitively knowing, anticipating her every want and need. Mae kept him, and a small number of people she employed, around that apartment in Hollywood. 

Mae had not been socially accepted by main-stream Hollywood until her later years.  Only Marlene Dietrich tried to be her friend. (They did not become lovers.) She became rich not only from being exceedingly well paid at points in her career, but also, like Bob Hope*, Gene Autry, and others who came to Los Angeles early, in land and property real estate. Yet, she never got around to changing her will.  Had he gently suggested to her that she should. Yes he did.   In 1962 Mae West became the first woman admitted to the Hollywood Friar's club, the club known for roasting members with jokes.

It crossed my mind, as I began researching Paul Novak and Mae West, that perhaps he was homosexual, for among body builders there are some, who saw Mae as an icon of femininity.  As for her sexually provocative humor, maybe she had her own issues, for she managed to keep men attracted but away. When she died, it was even rumored that she was a man who had lived his life in drag. We have her word for it, and his, that they were sexual, yet such rumors existed.  She was openly for gay rights.

These two books are the prime reference for this month's


Mae West's relationship with Paul Novak can be confusing because she can be.  For instance she claimed she was not a feminist, considering femininity to be power, but she did want to liberate women.  She treated men, her bodybuilder stage props, as objects.  She herself was a sex object and apparently wanted to be. She wanted to be in charge so her heart would not be broken, and denied an early and brief marriage.  She wanted to seem available as a woman forever, but maybe that was her act.  Prior to Paul she had many affairs, adoring wrestlers and prize fighters especially.  Did she stop because she fell in love with him, or did Mae really have as many affairs as attributed to her?

This is an excerpt of what Mae had to say about Paul that Charlotte Chandler wrote in her book "Mae West - She Always Knew How."

"Pauls' the great man in my life.  It's pretty well-known that every man, well, just about every man I ever met fell in love with me.....  So it doesn't raise any eyebrows that Paul is madly in love with me, though we try to be discreet.  ...  What we don't want people to know is that ours is a genuine love story.  It's both sides of the street, not a one-way relationship... I don't like the word to get out too much because it isn't my image for my audience, but, honey, I love Paul as much as he loves me., and that's a whole lot..."

Paul said he had fallen in love with her at first sight. She said sex with him only got better and that their relationship never faded. (286)  He accepted that she would always look at other men but told her he never had eyes for any other woman but her. (287)

Paul said, "This (ie. tending to Mae's needs) is why I'm here.  My purpose in life is to protect Miss West.  I was just a roustabout, and she chose me.,  I've been blessed."  He said she gave meaning to his life and before he met her he felt lost and depressed.  He said he hoped he would die first. (290)


Paul provided Mae with personal protection by carrying a gun, in particular to prevent her from being robbed of her diamonds.  He's credited with persuading her to wear fakes.

When she developed diabetes in old age, he watched her diet, and would try to tame people offering her sweets by giving them the eye.

For the lady who had everything she wanted or needed, he gave her beautifully wrapped presents (contents unknown) on her birthdays.

He cared for her reputation. He covered her first stroke at age 87 with the story that she had fallen out of bed while dreaming of Burt Reynolds.  (A second stroke is what she died of.)

He wanted to create a huge Hollywood funeral for her fitting a big star, but did as she wanted and protected her privacy.  (297)

C 2017  Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved

Some Notes from Missy:

Research for this post included reading around the internet, including obituaries, fan pages, and so on.  Some of the information was repetitive. If interested in Stars from the Golden Era of Hollywood, check out my posts on Bob Hope and his women, and the Silent Star Clara Bow!  Or run the word Hollywood in the search feature embedded in this BlogSpot.

Yes Friends, I know that there's something wrong with the paragraphing.  Im looking at the html code and just don't see the issue!

Thursday, August 31, 2017


This man was everything - lover, best friend, protector, shopper, chauffer - everything - to the Old Hollywood star who Kept him.  She once claimed he refused to marry her.  But then she vamped. He was devoted to her till the end of her days... Too bad HE doesn't have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

Friday, August 25, 2017


BBC UK HISTORY ANCIENT ROMANS WOMEN by Suzanne Dixon, who has held lecturing positions at both the Australian National University and the University of Queensland.  Since women in ancient Rome overall had lesser status, there is less evidence about the roles they assumed in life.  Learn a little more with this BBC site essay!

Thursday, August 24, 2017


Excerpts and Notes from Patricia Gucci's memoir "In The Name of Gucci."

When Aied, his first wife Olwen Price, a woman of English heritage, and their three sons, Giorgio, Paolo, and Roberto were at the funeral, as were Patricia and her mother.  Patricia was now 26 years old and pregnant with her second child.

"Eager to pay tribute to my mother, he'd penned his own obituary to be issued upon his death.  Aldo Gucci, he wrote, left behind his wife, Bruna Palombo, and his companion, Olwen Price." (4)

According to Patricia the reversal of the truth was intentional but the New York Times caught the error and printed, "Mr. Gucci is survived by his wife, the former Olwen Price, and three sons," not mentioning Patricia and Bruna at all. (4)

In 2009 when Patricia visited her mother in Rome, where Bruna was living out her life, Bruna gave her a gift of all the love letters Aldo had written to her and telegrams he had sent to her in the early passion of their romance circa 1958-1961, when Patricia had been conceived. (8)

Monday, August 21, 2017


"I love my own company when I can't be out with Him or my friends."

It seems to me that one must decide if they are alone or lonely.  These two are assumed to be the same but they are not.  I know people who love to be alone.  Often that's because they love their own company and revel in all the things one does best alone, such as reading and writing, or indulging their creativity by painting, knitting, sewing. I have one friend who still goes to movies in theaters and loves to go alone. Some people however simply like to be in other people's company most of the time. If that's you, then you probably have a lot of friends because you need people.  If you're in a relationship with someone who is gone more often than not, and you're feeling lonely, maybe more lonely than you would be in you were not in that relationship, it's time to reconsider.  Such a relationship is probably against your nature and will get to you and bring you down eventually. 
Our Mistress of the Month Bruna Palombo seems to have been secluded.  While it was not in her nature to enjoy social life, she certainly needed to have a few good friends to keep her company and accept her lifestyle as she came to.
Today's women certainly have more opportunity to be out in the world and full of life that women of her era. So evaluate yourself.  Be alone but not lonely.

Saturday, August 19, 2017


Missy's Notes and Quotes from "In the Name of Gucci" by Patricia Gucci :
Some people think "once a cheat, always a cheat."  I don't think that is true.  Some people cheat because they are with the wrong person for them and very unhappy and it's their way out, perhaps not the most honorable way, but their way.  Others were never meant to be monogamous by nature and need to realize that about themselves and proceed honestly with the people they meet.
However, in the story of Aldo Gucci's Mistress, Bruna Palombo, who is a Classic Mistress Kept from early womanhood and all her life, and Aldo's one and only wife Olwen Gucci, there is yet another woman, another Mistress, who provides more competition for them both.  In Patricia's memoir, her mother's discovery of this third woman in Aldo's life comes after she has met her much older half brothers. At that point Bruna and Olwen have separate lives with Aldo but he has done what he promised and united the children from his two families with the introduction.  The third woman will challenge Bruna's long held assumption that she was "the one."
Patricia tells us that Olwen and Bruna both stopped trusting Aldo.   (160)  Patricia's father visited her and her mother less, a sign that there was trouble, and I imagine especially unnerving because she is so dependent upon him. Bruna knew he'd had "dalliances" in the past too and she'd overheard and seen suspicious things.  Bruna was afraid to make an issue and Patricia's friends also seemed to have fathers who could not be monogamous.  Were all men this way?
The man had nerve.  After hearing that he had set this woman up in an apartment and bought her expensive things including works of art and jewelry, Bruna was shocked to find out that Aldo had taken her out to dinner and introduced her to the new woman without explaining who she was in his life. (161)  She also found photos of the woman on a trip to Palm Beach and wasn't Palm Beach just supposed to be for Bruna and Aldo?
After all the seclusion, after all the privacy that Bruna had complied with and desired, this blonde was being seen all around openly with Aldo.  She had her informants and her notes.  The explosive showdown was now not between the classy Olwen and Bruna, but Bruna and Aldo.  He refused to admit what he was up to until she had an "explosive" argument with him and presented to him the details of all she knew.  Finally, confronted with dates, locations, everything, he admitted he had this other Mistress!
"We were completely on our own with no legal rights." (171)
During crisis Patricia was sent back to boarding school.

*** It's true that Mistresses do not have the legal rights of a wife. I think about why gay people have fought so hard for the right to be legally married.  I think the only way for a Mistress to have legal rights is to become the wife or for us to allow legal marriage to more than one person at a time. I admit this is probably more complicated than the gay marriage issue.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017


There are many Mistresses in the Palm Beach area
 and throughout the wealthier areas of Florida.
As well as Palm Springs, California, which is treated as
a suburb of Hollywood.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017



I lost a good job due to cut backs at my company months ago. I went on one interview where I wasn't hired but I did get asked out for drinks.  I accepted, thinking this man would have some career advice for me or some leads, or that maybe in the future when there was an appropriate opening at the company he works for he would remember me.  So I met him for drinks and we had a good time.  He's funny.  We started dating.  In the mean time I signed up at a couple temp agencies.  Not much is happening with that.

Jed is divorced and well off.  He is retiring early in a few months and he has offered to pay my rent ahead for a year so I won't loose my apartment and so I can go traveling with him.  He wants to go to Scotland and Italy and travel all around.  All I have to do is go! He says I can chose a third location to target!  He says anywhere.  I've always wanted to see the Great Wall of China!
I'm feeling like I should.  I'll probably work till the day I die and have never had a chance to travel in my life.  I put myself through college waitressing and I put in a lot of overtime at my old company.  My personal savings are not enough to pay my own rent for a year away and I do worry about being out of the marketplace that long but I'm thrilled with the idea. I feel like Jed and I get along well.

Any Opinion?


Dear Alice,

 If you've been grinding at education and work for years, you probably deserve a year off, though I can't predict if that will be held against you when you return and are back to supporting yourself. I wish I knew how long you've been dating Jed and why all you think the two of you get along well, but I'll believe you!  However, sometimes even the best of friends do not make for the best travel companions. Just like sometimes the best of friends don't make the best room mates. I've had both situations not work out well for me.  My best friend who I traveled with clearly didn't want to go alone but dominated the entire trip. I'll admit I let her, but then we were only gone a week. My best friend who I moved in with after college was nothing like the fun person I spent holidays with.
So how about you tell Jed you'd like to do some more local travel and shorter trips to see how you get along.  I like that he's willing to let you choose a location to go to. Run that Great Wall idea past him and see if he's into it. He should understand that you want to keep your relationship and not be together too much all at once.

Sunday, August 13, 2017


Missy's Notes and Quotes from "In the Name of Gucci," a memoir by Patricia Gucci.

Many children find themselves outside of marriage and awaiting visits from a parent. Patricia Gucci was one of those children, because her mother Bruna Palombo was a Mistress, set up first to live in England.  Aldo Gucci, a long married man who Kept Bruna visited them about once a month for a weekend.  Patricia calls these visits "compressed."

Patricia says no sooner he came through the door, her mother would start complaining about her and she would be banished to her bedroom. (133)  She realized in adulthood that her mother was in seclusion for weeks and had a lot to talk to him about.  "She rants, vents, they have a fight and reconcile all in forty-eight hours."  This was their pattern, but finally he would relax and Bruna would spoil him.  She "nurtured him and gave him safe harbor."
"He'd leave and the days were dark. Without his affection, my mother withered like an unattended plant." (136)
Eventually so that Bruna could travel with Aldo, Patricia was put into a boarding school where she found herself with "lots of kindred spirits." She loved it. (137)  When the family moved back to Rome in 1973, Patricia was heartbroken. (149)
When Patricia was ten years old, Bruna finally told her, "Your father has a wife in Italy and three sons," and admitted she wasn't married to him. (151)

*** Are you the child of a Mistress? We'd like to hear your story.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017


Notes and Excerpts from PATRICIA GUCCI's book.
In 1963 Patricia was born in England where her father Aldo Gucci, had set up her mother Bruna Palombo, as his Mistress. Bruna wondered if he would not abandon them as while he grew his company, his letters had stopped coming and he didn't see her as much. (101)  But he was there when she was christened in Saint Mary's Catholic Church and his inner circle were there as guests. (102)  Aldo may have lied to the priest. When she was 28 days old they flew back to Rome and a Spanish nanny was assigned to take the baby out in a pram while Bruna lived in secret. (103)

"Olwen (Aldo's wife of 40 years) sent a woman to the Rome apartment to tell Bruna that she knew about her and the baby.  "Signora Gucci feels that it would be in everyone's best interests if you gave up all claim to her husband... If you can't care for your child on your own, Signora Gucci is prepared to take her off your hands..." (104)

"He snapped and went to tell off his wife..."  But Bruna started saving money incase.  A British nanny was hired.  Olwen never interfered again...(107-108)

Bruna felt that close women friends of hers had betrayed her.

Sunday, August 6, 2017


A long way from just shoes and luggage and carry bags... My fashionista friends tell me that fashion shows ignite trends and few people actually wear what's shown on the runway.  They say that models are thought of as "hangers!"  And those of us who are not "stringbean" tall don't always look as good as these models, who I think, male and female, look to be starving and ready to drop!  Fashion shows are incredibly exciting though!


Wednesday, August 2, 2017


PATRICIA GUCCI wrote about her childhood,
her mother BRUNA PALOMBO, and her parents relationship in her book,
"In The Name of Gucci."
She has done well after some soul searching as the
acknowledged love child of ALDO GUCCI.

Image from Google Images and appears in the book which is C Patricia Gucci.

BRUNA PALOMBO's story is that of the CLASSIC MISTRESS, the woman who becomes the Mistress of a successful older man when she is young and is financially secure and cared for, for the rest of her life.  She never needs to have another man for all the years that this man is alive and she is financially cared for beyond his death.  She is very much like a traditional wife in that way.  She doesn't have much experience in relationships with men prior to meeting him.  She doesn't feel the need to seek other relationships, even when he does.

Bruna Palombo was seduced by Aldo Gucci, founder of the famous fashion house that specialized in shoes, luggage, carry bags, and accessories, when he was her boss and she was a youthful virgin with a fiancée. She was raised to be a proper Italian girl who would go along with the usual plan of loyalty and faithfulness to just one man but there were red flags that her relationship with her fiancée had been played out and would not result in happiness.

Her mother suspected something was going on between her daughter and Aldo while she was still living at home.  Maybe it was the occasional expensive and fine gift she had been given that she brought home.  Bruna's father died and perhaps it was pragmatic of her mother to not protest too much either when it became clear she would not marry her fiancée and be with Aldo.

Instead of marriage, which he could not offer her since he already was married to his first wife, Olwen Price, with whom Aldo and had three sons, he offered her the next best thing, to be his Mistress. Not long after this he predictably retired her. 

Aldo established a second household and family with Bruno in Britain, where their only child, daughter Patricia, went to school.  He was sure to visit them as much as possible, which was generally about once a month for a long weekend. Patricia says that they were so happy during his visits, but between those visits they just went on with their daily lives, a mother and daughter alone, without that happiness.

Aldo had a secret, and like many men who are the founders of families and family businesses, and are much older than their Mistress, there were employees who knew or suspected what was going on, who were sure to either accept this relationship of his or stay out of his private life. This was none of their business.

The day would come when his wife, the former Olwen Price, and first family would have to accept things as they were, because Aldo acknowledged Patricia. He wanted to live more openly with Bruna.  He wanted Patricia to meet her half brothers and slowly integrate this beautiful and intelligent daughter into the Gucci family business in some way, which he did as she reached adulthood herself and he expanded to America.  As a teenager Patricia went to boarding school and spent summers with friends, so she and her mom were living separate lives. As an adult she felt she had been deprived of love as a child.  She did move forward into becoming a Gucci public relations person, going to events to represent the Gucci company and her father.

Aldo Gucci had also seduced Olwen in 1927 when she was working for a personal assistant to Princess Elizabeth of Romania, who felt obligated to protect her.  It was the princess who had shown up in Florence, Italy to speak to Aldo's father, who had begun the Gucci empire as a small family business of leather luxury goods. His father considered him to be a womanizer and feared he would hurt the family reputation.  Aldo married Olwen.

Patricia describes her mother Bruna as a gentle and perhaps fragile woman who did live for and around Aldo and who appreciated fine things but also hated, but endured, social people and parties.  She was a private and retiring person, who I suspect was also depressed.  Patricia turned out to be the more gregarious person, like her father, whose personality was very much a part of his success.

Olwen Price, Aldo's wife, was also a loyal and faithful Italian woman who did not want a divorce.  The sons were in their forties when Patricia finally met them.  Olwen seemed to be afraid to make an issue of Bruna, accepting that Italian men thought it acceptable to have a mistress. However, she did let Bruna know she knew about her and Patricia, that they were no secret to her. A go between told Bruna it would be best if she turned Patricia over to Olwen's care. So Aldo separated the two women and families by establishing Bruna in England.

Patricia got her independence and lived apart from her parents.  As an adult, she felt her mother had been unable to cope with raising her, that Bruna was dependent on Aldo for absolutely everything and rather helpless.

Eventually the plan was for Olwen to stay in Italy and for Aldo and Bruna to leave Britain and live together in Palm Beach, Florida. This they did. It was as if Bruna was his wife in America.  He publically referred to her as his wife there.  He also managed to stage a marriage ceremony that was questionable.

In November of 1981, twenty five years after they first met, Aldo married Bruna in a hotel suite.  He denied that he had married her to his sons.  Meanwhile, Olwen fought for her marriage. Aldo found out his marriage to Olwen might be invalid but it was, so that invalidated this "marriage" to Bruna. "Someone went to England to obtain the marriage certificate there and seventy-three year old Olwen took it to Rome and recorded the document there." (197) Yet Bruna was not entirely without feeling for Olwen.  She insisted that Aldo call her every Sunday and not neglect her. (198)

For both Olwen and Bruna, who came to accept that they were man sharing and had very different relationships with him, it was the fact that Aldo had yet another Mistress that threatened to unsettle everyone's existence.

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