Saturday, August 19, 2017

WIFE AND MISTRESS LEARN THERE IS ANOTHER MISTRESS IN ALDO'S LIFE

Missy's Notes and Quotes from "In the Name of Gucci" by Patricia Gucci :
Some people think "once a cheat, always a cheat."  I don't think that is true.  Some people cheat because they are with the wrong person for them and very unhappy and it's their way out, perhaps not the most honorable way, but their way.  Others were never meant to be monogamous by nature and need to realize that about themselves and proceed honestly with the people they meet.
However, in the story of Aldo Gucci's Mistress, Bruna Palombo, who is a Classic Mistress Kept from early womanhood and all her life, and Aldo's one and only wife Olwen Gucci, there is yet another woman, another Mistress, who provides more competition for them both.  In Patricia's memoir, her mother's discovery of this third woman in Aldo's life comes after she has met her much older half brothers. At that point Bruna and Olwen have separate lives with Aldo but he has done what he promised and united the children from his two families with the introduction.  The third woman will challenge Bruna's long held assumption that she was "the one."
Patricia tells us that Olwen and Bruna both stopped trusting Aldo.   (160)  Patricia's father visited her and her mother less, a sign that there was trouble, and I imagine especially unnerving because she is so dependent upon him. Bruna knew he'd had "dalliances" in the past too and she'd overheard and seen suspicious things.  Bruna was afraid to make an issue and Patricia's friends also seemed to have fathers who could not be monogamous.  Were all men this way?
The man had nerve.  After hearing that he had set this woman up in an apartment and bought her expensive things including works of art and jewelry, Bruna was shocked to find out that Aldo had taken her out to dinner and introduced her to the new woman without explaining who she was in his life. (161)  She also found photos of the woman on a trip to Palm Beach and wasn't Palm Beach just supposed to be for Bruna and Aldo?
After all the seclusion, after all the privacy that Bruna had complied with and desired, this blonde was being seen all around openly with Aldo.  She had her informants and her notes.  The explosive showdown was now not between the classy Olwen and Bruna, but Bruna and Aldo.  He refused to admit what he was up to until she had an "explosive" argument with him and presented to him the details of all she knew.  Finally, confronted with dates, locations, everything, he admitted he had this other Mistress!
"We were completely on our own with no legal rights." (171)
During crisis Patricia was sent back to boarding school.


*** It's true that Mistresses do not have the legal rights of a wife. I think about why gay people have fought so hard for the right to be legally married.  I think the only way for a Mistress to have legal rights is to become the wife or for us to allow legal marriage to more than one person at a time. I admit this is probably more complicated than the gay marriage issue.



Wednesday, August 16, 2017

PALM BEACH FLORIDA

There are many Mistresses in the Palm Beach area
 and throughout the wealthier areas of Florida.
As well as Palm Springs, California, which is treated as
a suburb of Hollywood.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

QUESTION FOR MISSY : SHOULD I LET HIM PAY A YEARS RENT IN ADVANCE SO THAT I CAN TRAVEL WITH HIM

Missy,

I lost a good job due to cut backs at my company months ago. I went on one interview where I wasn't hired but I did get asked out for drinks.  I accepted, thinking this man would have some career advice for me or some leads, or that maybe in the future when there was an appropriate opening at the company he works for he would remember me.  So I met him for drinks and we had a good time.  He's funny.  We started dating.  In the mean time I signed up at a couple temp agencies.  Not much is happening with that.

Jed is divorced and well off.  He is retiring early in a few months and he has offered to pay my rent ahead for a year so I won't loose my apartment and so I can go traveling with him.  He wants to go to Scotland and Italy and travel all around.  All I have to do is go! He says I can chose a third location to target!  He says anywhere.  I've always wanted to see the Great Wall of China!
I'm feeling like I should.  I'll probably work till the day I die and have never had a chance to travel in my life.  I put myself through college waitressing and I put in a lot of overtime at my old company.  My personal savings are not enough to pay my own rent for a year away and I do worry about being out of the marketplace that long but I'm thrilled with the idea. I feel like Jed and I get along well.

Any Opinion?

Alice
Virginia

Dear Alice,

 If you've been grinding at education and work for years, you probably deserve a year off, though I can't predict if that will be held against you when you return and are back to supporting yourself. I wish I knew how long you've been dating Jed and why all you think the two of you get along well, but I'll believe you!  However, sometimes even the best of friends do not make for the best travel companions. Just like sometimes the best of friends don't make the best room mates. I've had both situations not work out well for me.  My best friend who I traveled with clearly didn't want to go alone but dominated the entire trip. I'll admit I let her, but then we were only gone a week. My best friend who I moved in with after college was nothing like the fun person I spent holidays with.
So how about you tell Jed you'd like to do some more local travel and shorter trips to see how you get along.  I like that he's willing to let you choose a location to go to. Run that Great Wall idea past him and see if he's into it. He should understand that you want to keep your relationship and not be together too much all at once.
Missy

Sunday, August 13, 2017

THE FOURTY EIGHT HOURS WITH ALDO - "COMPRESSED VISITS"

Missy's Notes and Quotes from "In the Name of Gucci," a memoir by Patricia Gucci.


Many children find themselves outside of marriage and awaiting visits from a parent. Patricia Gucci was one of those children, because her mother Bruna Palombo was a Mistress, set up first to live in England.  Aldo Gucci, a long married man who Kept Bruna visited them about once a month for a weekend.  Patricia calls these visits "compressed."


Patricia says no sooner he came through the door, her mother would start complaining about her and she would be banished to her bedroom. (133)  She realized in adulthood that her mother was in seclusion for weeks and had a lot to talk to him about.  "She rants, vents, they have a fight and reconcile all in forty-eight hours."  This was their pattern, but finally he would relax and Bruna would spoil him.  She "nurtured him and gave him safe harbor."
"He'd leave and the days were dark. Without his affection, my mother withered like an unattended plant." (136)
Eventually so that Bruna could travel with Aldo, Patricia was put into a boarding school where she found herself with "lots of kindred spirits." She loved it. (137)  When the family moved back to Rome in 1973, Patricia was heartbroken. (149)
When Patricia was ten years old, Bruna finally told her, "Your father has a wife in Italy and three sons," and admitted she wasn't married to him. (151)


*** Are you the child of a Mistress? We'd like to hear your story.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

THE BIRTH OF PATRICIA GUCCI - ALDO's WIFE OLWEN CLAIMS HIM

Notes and Excerpts from PATRICIA GUCCI's book.
In 1963 Patricia was born in England where her father Aldo Gucci, had set up her mother Bruna Palombo, as his Mistress. Bruna wondered if he would not abandon them as while he grew his company, his letters had stopped coming and he didn't see her as much. (101)  But he was there when she was christened in Saint Mary's Catholic Church and his inner circle were there as guests. (102)  Aldo may have lied to the priest. When she was 28 days old they flew back to Rome and a Spanish nanny was assigned to take the baby out in a pram while Bruna lived in secret. (103)


"Olwen (Aldo's wife of 40 years) sent a woman to the Rome apartment to tell Bruna that she knew about her and the baby.  "Signora Gucci feels that it would be in everyone's best interests if you gave up all claim to her husband... If you can't care for your child on your own, Signora Gucci is prepared to take her off your hands..." (104)


"He snapped and went to tell off his wife..."  But Bruna started saving money incase.  A British nanny was hired.  Olwen never interfered again...(107-108)


Bruna felt that close women friends of hers had betrayed her.



Sunday, August 6, 2017

GUCCI FASHION SHOW - A LONG WAY FROM LUGGAGE, CARRY BAGS, and SHOES...


A long way from just shoes and luggage and carry bags... My fashionista friends tell me that fashion shows ignite trends and few people actually wear what's shown on the runway.  They say that models are thought of as "hangers!"  And those of us who are not "stringbean" tall don't always look as good as these models, who I think, male and female, look to be starving and ready to drop!  Fashion shows are incredibly exciting though!


GUCCI OFFICIAL SITE

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

THE SECLUDED BRUNA PALOMBO - A LIFE TIME OF MISTRESSING - ALDO GUCCI


PATRICIA GUCCI wrote about her childhood,
her mother BRUNA PALOMBO, and her parents relationship in her book,
"In The Name of Gucci."
She has done well after some soul searching as the
acknowledged love child of ALDO GUCCI.

Image from Google Images and appears in the book which is C Patricia Gucci.
ALDO GUCCI, MISTRESS BRUNA PALOMBO, and their daughter PATRICIA



BRUNA PALOMBO's story is that of the CLASSIC MISTRESS, the woman who becomes the Mistress of a successful older man when she is young and is financially secure and cared for, for the rest of her life.  She never needs to have another man for all the years that this man is alive and she is financially cared for beyond his death.  She is very much like a traditional wife in that way.  She doesn't have much experience in relationships with men prior to meeting him.  She doesn't feel the need to seek other relationships, even when he does.


Bruna Palombo was seduced by Aldo Gucci, founder of the famous fashion house that specialized in shoes, luggage, carry bags, and accessories, when he was her boss and she was a youthful virgin with a fiancée. She was raised to be a proper Italian girl who would go along with the usual plan of loyalty and faithfulness to just one man but there were red flags that her relationship with her fiancée had been played out and would not result in happiness.


Her mother suspected something was going on between her daughter and Aldo while she was still living at home.  Maybe it was the occasional expensive and fine gift she had been given that she brought home.  Bruna's father died and perhaps it was pragmatic of her mother to not protest too much either when it became clear she would not marry her fiancée and be with Aldo.


Instead of marriage, which he could not offer her since he already was married to his first wife, Olwen Price, with whom Aldo and had three sons, he offered her the next best thing, to be his Mistress. Not long after this he predictably retired her. 


Aldo established a second household and family with Bruno in Britain, where their only child, daughter Patricia, went to school.  He was sure to visit them as much as possible, which was generally about once a month for a long weekend. Patricia says that they were so happy during his visits, but between those visits they just went on with their daily lives, a mother and daughter alone, without that happiness.


Aldo had a secret, and like many men who are the founders of families and family businesses, and are much older than their Mistress, there were employees who knew or suspected what was going on, who were sure to either accept this relationship of his or stay out of his private life. This was none of their business.


The day would come when his wife, the former Olwen Price, and first family would have to accept things as they were, because Aldo acknowledged Patricia. He wanted to live more openly with Bruna.  He wanted Patricia to meet her half brothers and slowly integrate this beautiful and intelligent daughter into the Gucci family business in some way, which he did as she reached adulthood herself and he expanded to America.  As a teenager Patricia went to boarding school and spent summers with friends, so she and her mom were living separate lives. As an adult she felt she had been deprived of love as a child.  She did move forward into becoming a Gucci public relations person, going to events to represent the Gucci company and her father.


Aldo Gucci had also seduced Olwen in 1927 when she was working for a personal assistant to Princess Elizabeth of Romania, who felt obligated to protect her.  It was the princess who had shown up in Florence, Italy to speak to Aldo's father, who had begun the Gucci empire as a small family business of leather luxury goods. His father considered him to be a womanizer and feared he would hurt the family reputation.  Aldo married Olwen.


Patricia describes her mother Bruna as a gentle and perhaps fragile woman who did live for and around Aldo and who appreciated fine things but also hated, but endured, social people and parties.  She was a private and retiring person, who I suspect was also depressed.  Patricia turned out to be the more gregarious person, like her father, whose personality was very much a part of his success.



Olwen Price, Aldo's wife, was also a loyal and faithful Italian woman who did not want a divorce.  The sons were in their forties when Patricia finally met them.  Olwen seemed to be afraid to make an issue of Bruna, accepting that Italian men thought it acceptable to have a mistress. However, she did let Bruna know she knew about her and Patricia, that they were no secret to her. A go between told Bruna it would be best if she turned Patricia over to Olwen's care. So Aldo separated the two women and families by establishing Bruna in England.


Patricia got her independence and lived apart from her parents.  As an adult, she felt her mother had been unable to cope with raising her, that Bruna was dependent on Aldo for absolutely everything and rather helpless.



Eventually the plan was for Olwen to stay in Italy and for Aldo and Bruna to leave Britain and live together in Palm Beach, Florida. This they did. It was as if Bruna was his wife in America.  He publically referred to her as his wife there.  He also managed to stage a marriage ceremony that was questionable.


In November of 1981, twenty five years after they first met, Aldo married Bruna in a hotel suite.  He denied that he had married her to his sons.  Meanwhile, Olwen fought for her marriage. Aldo found out his marriage to Olwen might be invalid but it was, so that invalidated this "marriage" to Bruna. "Someone went to England to obtain the marriage certificate there and seventy-three year old Olwen took it to Rome and recorded the document there." (197) Yet Bruna was not entirely without feeling for Olwen.  She insisted that Aldo call her every Sunday and not neglect her. (198)



For both Olwen and Bruna, who came to accept that they were man sharing and had very different relationships with him, it was the fact that Aldo had yet another Mistress that threatened to unsettle everyone's existence.




C Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Saturday, July 29, 2017

ARE YOU "KEPT? DO YOU ALSO WORK FOR INCOME? : MISSY ASKS YOU!

Do you work full time?  Part time?  Have your own business?  How much do you earn? How much a month is spent on you to Keep you?   Not that it's all about money.


Missy

Monday, July 24, 2017

THE RAY CHARLES VIDEO MUSEUM - THE RAELETTES

RAY CHARLES VIDEO MUSEUM


The web site is quite an amazing effort! 
This photo is from the collection of Joel Dufour though I did find
the same photo elsewhere listed as under public domain.
Margie Hendrix is at the bottom.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN and MAN SHARING : IS IT MORE ACCEPTABLE than in the "WHITE" COMMUNITY?

How to phrase that question?
One of my friends says to call her BLACK, that "African-American" is passé.  But then there are Black people (or "people of color") all over the world and I'm one of those people who thinks everyone is a person of color and that no one is really White or Black if you look at the color wheel.  I guess I'm asking this question of or about women who consider themselves to be part of the Black community here in the United States since our history includes slavery (though frankly that would for me include Nkechi Amare Diallo, commonly known by her previous name Rachel Anne Dolezal, the now controversial American former civil rights activist and former African studies instructor. ... because I think our self identification is most important.  I'm going berserker on Doctor Phil for calling her a "race faker!"  Why doesn't anyone call our most famous transgender person Bruce/ a "gender faker?"  And as far as I'm concerned if she was doing a good job, she should never have been fired from the NAACP!)
But to get to the question, a friend of mine who is no doubt White but for a great great great great grandmother long ago in slave days, which she found out about doing genealogy, says that African American women have long been more used to man sharing.  She says there just are not enough African American men to go around.
This friend of mine has preferred Black men since high school even though that got her into all sorts of trouble with her parents. She not only thinks they are more physically attractive but that they are more respectful to her as a woman.  Everyone has the right to their own experience and what to make of it.  My friend has made an effort for her children to meet their half siblings and the other women in her ex's lives and has though personal study and experience learned a great deal about African art and culture. She also has a number of African American women friends.
My friend points out that proof of this is that many Black men have children with multiple women and that the women are just more generous in spirit to each other. 
Hmmm...


So now that you know where I'm coming from, what do you think?

Thursday, July 20, 2017

RAY the BIOPIC - JAMIE FOXX wins OSCAR for BEST ACTOR




It's TRUE! Jamie Foxx does embody Ray Charles Robinson AKA Ray Charles. The story isn't exactly a bio-pic but it does first reveal that the young Ray Charles accepted being managed by an assertive woman who had him live with her and expected sexual satisfaction as part of the bargain. He doesn't seem to like that arrangement too much. When it comes to the Raelettes it shows his involvement with one other before MARGIE HENDRICKS; any woman who became sexual with Ray Charles had lots of competition. Ray tells them up front that the bargain is that he is not going to leave his (second) wife, "B", and his family.  But he is starting families elsewhere.  So when Margie becomes pregnant, she begs him to consider leaving his wife and being a family with her.  After all she's "MRS. RAY CHARLES ON THE ROAD."  Eventually, Margie decides to go solo and think of herself, but she's also acquired a heroin habit just like Ray, who will later say he had nothing to do with starting her up. Then he gets the call that Margie is dead.  She has overdosed.  He breaks down and cries.  This is when "B" offers to send money monthly for the care of the baby.  Ray is surprised she has known all along about Margie and the baby.  But she is surprised when he tells her he's been doing so all along.  This reveal moves high much she as a wife will accept of her husband, wise as she has been about a working musician on the road.



As the wife, "B" has most of the goodies.  First, she is publically acknowledged as his wife and mother of his children - his official family.  She gets to live in the massive and expensive home he buys them in Los Angeles, and since he also buys an office building for business, we can figure he's going to be around Los Angeles and her a bit more often.
Of course, the film doesn't focus on the romances of Ray Charles. It focuses on his hard upbringing, his childhood blindness, and the way he kept his promise to his mother than he will never become a charity case.  He is also credited with the then controversial move to combine gospel and soul.

Monday, July 17, 2017

MARCI SOTO DISCOVERED RAY HAD A HAREM LATE INTO THEIR YEARS LONG RELATIONSHIP

RAY CHARLES' had a harem, but Marci loved him first and found out second.
RIVERFRONTTIMES - MARCI SOTO on MEMOIR RAY and ME by Aimee Levitt


EXCERPT:
One August night in 1968, Charles announced on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson that he would be playing at the Cocoanut Grove nightclub in Los Angeles all week. Soto was living in New Orleans then. Her husband, Henry Soto, had turned out to be an alcoholic gangster with an abusive streak. As far as she was concerned, the marriage was over, though the divorce wouldn't come through for five more years. And now she knew exactly how to find the man she considered the love of her life. What did she have to lose? Within minutes, she had Joe Adams, Charles' manager, on the line and told him she wanted to speak to Ray.
"Will I do?" Adams asked.
"No, I'm sorry," she told him. "You sound very nice, but there are no substitutes for Ray."
When Adams asked her to send him a full-length photo of herself, it never occurred to her to ask why a blind man would need to know what she looked like. But it must have pleased somebody, because two weeks later, Charles himself called her up and invited her to meet him the following afternoon at his room in the Fontainebleau Hotel.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

MANIFESTO - DECLARATION - Man Sharing

A bit of a meditation on MAN SHARING.


Back in high school, young women were so determined to declared themselves one man women, and young men were so determined to have a "girlfriend," that having a ring on your finger from him was not only important, it was fairly easy to get.  All he needed was a generous allowance or a job at the Drive Through Burger Stand. Then off to the jewelry store in the mall he went.
These rings were called "going steady" rings or even "pre-engagement" rings, and people took the status they inferred fairly seriously.  These rings, by my way of thinking, were also, "We're having sex but we're serious" rings.  Without one, you might just be sleeping around.  It just wasn't in our experience or our surroundings, with everyone's parents married, to think past the "good girl / bad girl" dichotomy, which was very much in place as if it were - the 1950's - even if that was long ago.  Nobody wanted to be thought of as a bad girl.  Good girls had rings.
Yet, it seemed to me that, just as seriously, certain girls - OK - CHEERLEADERS - did a lot of "giving back" of rings to declare themselves free and ready for - another young man - another ring!
So, just about graduation and prom time, there was a young man from another school who asked me to the prom and I said no.  I had spent some time with him hanging out at his house playing Scrabble and at my house watching TV - with our parents in the next room - and yet he had started rumors about me, claiming we'd had sex.  What a jerk! 
So I said no to the prom and he then went and asked another young woman from my school.  She was acting a bit haughty about it but I didn't care.
Proms seemed to me to be from out of the past.  I just wanted to graduate and never turn back.
But, to go ahead with my story here, off to the prom she went, and from what I heard he wasn't a perfect gentleman and she regretted it.  And soon it emerged that this young man had not only gone to our prom, but the prom as his school, and the prom at yet a third school!  With three different dates. How he ever met three young women to even ask or how he ever even afforded to go, who knows. 
All three young women, sans rings, were upset and angry. They had some romantic notion of what a prom date meant. And they had unintentionally shared a man, if only for a short time.


A few years ago a woman who had been a hippie, which I was never, told me about her man sharing experience in the 1960's while she was in college.  She, and two other women found out they were all having sex with the same man, who was playing them all as if they were the Only One.  This was pre legal abortion, they all had contraception, but he did not and it could have gone wrong for any or all of them.  So they decided they would play him.


One by one they called him and told him they need to Talk.  Then each woman told the man that, shockingly, she was pregnant and that she had not been with anyone else.  It was mean but they thought it was hilarious when he quit college and joined the army.  One can imagine what one unintended pregnancy might mean to a college student - but three?This woman was laughing about it years later. Now since they were all hippies I imagined they would be into the "Free Love" of man sharing, but they were not.

So now it's 2017 and there are women who knowingly and willingly man share.  Some of these women move in and have a Triad, others are Secret Mistresses, some are Ex Wives who don't want to live with their ex husbands any more but still, sometimes they feel as close as they once always were and still have sex even though they know he has Other Women. There are just endless varieties of reasons why but women do man share -  including the real or perceived lack of men in the vicinity though it seems to me that on-line dating may have helped - and it's not always out of desperation. 


There's so much talk about man sharing.  I hear senior citizen women do it a lot.  They all do lunch with a certain man.  No one involved is trying to be Exclusive. 
Is Exclusive only for people who want to be Traditional and Get Married and Have Children?


I thought of all of this as I thought about Ray Charles and his women.


You have to DECIDE.  Is it what you want to do with your life for now, for always?


"I decide.  If I man share knowingly that is my decision."

Thursday, July 13, 2017

RAY CHARLES on SUPPORTING WOMEN and CHILDREN

From his memoir BROTHER RAY:


"I always made it plain that I'd support the children.  I never denied being the father.  My friends told me the babies looked like I'd spit 'em out. And besides, what man - married or single - really knows?
On the other hand, I didn't believe in supporting the child and also setting up the mama in some luxurious crib with a Mercedes and two or three mink coats. No sir, that aint me.  She wouldn't starve and neither would the baby, but I didn't figure she was entitled to a life time of jewels and caviar." * on e-book 1801-1806


NOTES: RAY CHARLES was sued for paternity more than once. One woman in New York took him to court and he rented an apartment for her and their daughter on 97th and Central Park West and when he transferred all his business to Los Angeles, she transferred the suit to LA.  He lost.  Another woman in Ohio sued him for paternity, who also had a daughter with him.  This lady moved to LA.  His wife didn't make him "budge" even with all the embarrassment.  "I can't be blackmailed," he said.  Ray Charles thought that both women came to regret it.  "I pay what the court ordered and not a dime more."  He thought that they would end up with more by not making a fuss, that he was always there for emergencies. on e-book 1805-1820


Missy here: When another Mistress realizes how her man has been with other women and finds herself pregnant, well, is it any wonder why she might choose an abortion?

Sunday, July 9, 2017

RAY CHARLES THE MOST CREATIVE MUSICAL GIANT OF THIS GENERATION and the _++++RAELETTES SPE



The Raeletts were backup singers who toured with Ray Charles. 
I believe that Margie Hendrix closest to the bottom edge of the poster.  There was some change outs of Raeletts personell over time.  As the only mistress of Ray Charles revealed in the bio-pic Ray, until I began researching I believed he had one wife and one mistress.


Friday, July 7, 2017

RAY CHARLES and the RAELETTES - MARGIE HENDRIX and SEX ON THE ROAD TOURS


The early 1960's girl group Raelettes -Ray Charles' Touring Group. Margie Hendrix is the second from the left, and the featured singer. 
Margie wasn't the first or last background singer to be involved with her boss, the star of the show, and probably won't be the last.
Excerpts from Ray Charles own memoir BROTHER RAY read on Overdrive e-book:

"So I didn't - and don't - have a policy against hanky-panky among the girls and boys in the band.  How could I, as much as I loved to f-uck?  I'd look like a fool and I'd be a hypocrite.  The guys were adults and so were the women...  1279 -1280
HE SAYS HE DID HAVE SEX WITH RAELETTES.
"But I've never insisted that any woman sleep with me.  When sex happens between me and one of the Raelettes it happens naturally. It doesn't concern her pay or her music.  I never allow those two currents - lovemaking and music - to cross each other.
I'd never want to make love to a woman thinking the only reason she agrees is because I'm her boss. ... I have to feel she wants me as much as I want her...  1287-1288
I also have another personal sex policy.  If a girl's with another guy in the band, I leave her alone.  I don't want my cats thinking that I'm interfering with their business or their love life... 1289-1290
Finally everyone starts pairing off and the band gets hip to who belongs to who." 1293-1294

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Sunday, July 2, 2017

KING OF SOUL RAY CHARLES : TWO KNOWN MISTRESSES : MARGI HENDRIX and MARCIE SOTO



 
Ahhh Ray... We'll give you credit for two known Mistresses, MARGIE HENDRIX and MARCI SOTO...

Ray Charles was the blind Black American musician and singer with the megawatt smile who got called a genius and The King of Soul though he crossed over into other genres of music including, controversially, gospel.


MARGIE HENDRIX was in the Cookies, a girl group,
which was hired by Ray Charles to be his Raeletts, background singers.
A joke that went around was that Ray only hired women who "Let" him.


There were so many women in RAY CHARLES life, it's difficult to know but there may have been more Mistresses, and I don't mean those women who rolled through his life for a few minutes, hours, days, weeks... I mean those who had more of a relationship with this twice married man, who was reportedly stingy with the mothers but supported his many children.  He was married for twenty years to his second wife who he called "B." She may not have wanted him to bring the road home but she shared him a lot.
 
When Ray Charles died he left 12 known living children.  Those were the acknowledged.  Four of those were in marriage, the rest extramarital. (When his memoir "Brother Ray" was published in 1978 he admitted to 9.)  Each child reportedly got a half million in trust, and then reportedly the rest of his estate of about 100 million, went to his foundation RAY CHARLES FOUNDATION ORG
 
Ray admitted in his memoir that he co-wrote that he never used contraception himself.
 
When I watched the biopic RAY, for which actor JAMIE FOXX received the best actor Oscar back in 2005 for embodying Ray for film, a terrific film I just rewatched, one Mistress was revealed, MARGIE HENDRIX.  At the time I didn't realize that when it came to Ray, where there's smoke (an extramarital relationship) there was fire (lots of sex, some relationships.)  Of course films usually have to pack a lot in for a two hour sit, so every woman Ray had couldn't be included. Overall you got the impression he only liked Black women.

But I got the point. In the film his long time second wife, "B", is seen telling him she was no fool who appreciated that he was a traveling, working musician but not to bring the road into the family and home she was trying to create and keep for them. "B" rarely saw him, as he had promised his mother as a child that, though he became blind, he would never be a charity case, and the man was always traveling, always working.  "B" had three children with him, and lived with the children first in Dallas and then Los Angeles.

So let's start with MARGIE HENDRIX, pictured above in an album she was on, also known as Margie Hendricks, who became the featured singer of the Raelettes. I have to tell you that in that memoir, there are few women mentioned by name as mothers of his children, but Margie had one son with Ray, and when she finally left him to go out on her own, she left the child to be raised by her sister. Ray Charles was a long time heroin addict without apology and eventually Margie died of a heroin overdose, but he swore he was not the one who turned her onto the drug that using was her own doing.



You may be familiar with his performances, Ray typically suited up at the piano rocking time as many blind musicians do. The song I know as Ray Charles' is his version with the Raelettes of "Hit the Road Jack."  I've thought of that song as a woman's empowerment song but no longer.

****************************************************


*****************************************************
 Can't beat a memoir in which Ray Charles explains his attitudes and values when it comes to women and children with a co-author who updated after its 1978 publication, in 1992, 2003, 2004. 

Now, about MARCI SOTO. 

In his memoir Brother Ray, Ray Charles makes no mention of his long time mistress MARCI SOTO, as you can see on the cover of her memoir, a white woman. So she eventually wrote her own memoir about the thirty years she counted him in her life, with some time off.  Marci Soto, the mother of two daughters already, didn't bring a child into this world with Ray but did have an abortion without mentioning the pregnancy to him. Her place was home to him some of the time and he liked to hang out there, playing dad a bit to her children, in an ordinary, middle class white family atmosphere, and I do wish the film had revealed that.  One wonders how a person juggles all that work and travel with long term relationships, but a traveling man often has some good reasons and excuses for where he is and with who.
After a while, Marci thought it only fair that Ray Charles, known to be cheap,
 buy her a house. She helped herself to the cash money he carried with him during one of his visits.
 
 
Marci did some interviews about their relationship when promoting her book. Until the book she was like most mistresses quiet about her life. She said that when she saw him wasting away with the liver cancer that killed him on television, she called him, devastated, and wondering if he was alone.  He said he would call to talk to her but never did before he died. 

EXCERPTED from the article linked to above...

It took Soto six years to write Ray & Me. She relied heavily on the 40 cassette tapes of conversations with Charles she'd recorded over the years. (He knew she was recording, she says, but he didn't care, just like he didn't care that she took pictures of him in his boxers.) Originally, she worked with a ghostwriter, but after they failed to interest any publishers in the project, Soto decided to finish on her own. "It was therapeutic," she says, "a way to get through Ray's death. I wanted to show people the Ray I knew, not the Ray in the movie."
 
This month I'll excerpt some telling parts of Ray's memoir about his attitude towards sex on the road, contraception, and women, and maybe by the end of the month, you'll have formed your own opinion.  Was he any different than, say, Mick Jagger?
 
C 2017 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot All Rights Reserved

Friday, June 30, 2017

ANONYMOUS DEFINED MISTRESS - MISSY ASKS YOU YOUR OPINION

"MISTRESS : SOMETHING BETWEEN A MISTER AND A MATTRESS"
- Anonymous

*****
I ask YOU, is this funny?  Sexist?  I discovered it while doing some research on defining mistresses.  What definition of Mistress are you comfortable with?

Thursday, June 29, 2017

THE WOMEN - from the play by CLAIR BOOTHE - MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT CLASSIC FILM REVIEW

 Originally shown in 1939, screenwriters Anita Loos and Jane Murfin had to rewrite it to make the Broadway Play that was such a success for Clare Boothe (Clare Boothe Luce), to be acceptable to the American public.  Though dealing with the serious subject (especially for 1939, pre World War II) of divorce, Mistresses, and mothering, it was called a comedy.  Maybe the cat fight was funny.  It's in black and white - except for a rather exciting fashion show in color.  Besides the female playwright and female screenwriters, this one has an all female cast - and it's proto feminist though perhaps no one involved would have labeled themselves that way.  Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell, and a number of other famous female stars worked ensemble.

Norma Shearer acts as Mary Haines, one of a group of Park Avenue princesses whose husband gets himself a Mistress, almost predictably, a poorer woman who has to work as a sales clerk at a store, is beautiful and quite certain he prefers her.  The Haines have one daughter, about 8, suggesting that the seven year itch has begun.  Mary is athletic, a good mother whose daughter also rides horses.  Also stereotypically, she's the last to know her husband has a Mistress, though all her girlfriends do through the gossip of their manicurist.  The Park Avenue Princess lifestyle is about fashion shows, day spas, personal trainers and upkeep, and they all want to remain married.  Mary's own mother counsels her to pretend it's not happening - just as she once did with Mary's father.  The men will be men ethos (that so many women subscribe to today) and the belief in divorce as ruining a reputation may keep the marriage intact. 

Remarkably again for the times, Mary decides her pride and independence is more important.  Progressive for her set, she decides to take the train to Reno for a quick divorce, after meeting her husband's mistress at a courtier's house where both women are buying lots of clothes that he will pay for.

In Reno there is another cast of characters, women who are also getting divorces; a wealthy woman on her fourth, and a married woman who is divorcing so she can marry another of the woman's husbands.  Instead of being a lone woman who is divorcing, here is a bunch of husband snatchers. There's the pregnant woman who is overjoyed to be wanted back and doesn't go through with it.  But Mary does.

Two years later her husband wants her back.  He sees that his Mistress does not make a good mother for their daughter.  Predictably, Mary wants him back too.  It's her motherhood that makes it so.

C 2017 Film Review Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

ARE YOU KEEPING SOMEONE? OR JUST HAVING AN AFFAIR? MISSY ASKS YOU!

I think there are a lot of people who are just having affairs who are taking them way too seriously, and then there are those who advance to being Mistresses (or Mantresses) and are in serious and more committed relationships with another person.  Some of the people who are just having affairs are not also committing adultery.  And some of the Mistresses and Mantresses are being Kept by people who are not married or living with someone else in a marriage-like situation.


What's your situation?
Missy


P.S. I read but don't publish all comments, and would advise you to change names or not mention them at all!  See my page Comments for more information!

Thursday, June 22, 2017

WARDROBE WAKEUP by LOIS JOY JOHNSON : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW


DO YOU WANT TO APPEAR AGELESS?

What does it mean to be a "woman of a certain age," especially because we're living into our eighties now? Well, this book focuses on age 40 plus and the realities of aging on the human body. Fat redistributes giving you a tummy. Your breasts may get fuller or sag. You may or may not have money to spend on designer clothing and accessories, cosmetic surgery, or other alternatives to being mysterious about your age.

This book does have some assumptions. For instance Lois Joy Johnson, the author, and many of the models and opinion-givers photographed here are rather thin women. Or their weight gain isn't substantial looking. So I didn't see a model in the book who appeared to be "plus sized" or fat.

And while the book says it's a good thing to "cross-shop" and buy some things cheap but upgrade the entire look with more expensive accessories, overall, the author is speaking to the woman who has a closet full of clothes, some that were expensive, who needs to do some self evaluation about how she currently looks in the clothes she already has.
There are  some things I disagree with Lois Joy Johnson on, so let me get those out of the way.
The nude or flesh colored shoe, particularily a heel, elongating the look of a leg because it matches the flesh; I think this is a fashion look that's now dated. I don't think you can really fool anyone that you've grown a few inches wearing a "nude" shoe color - and I dislike shoes that seem not to match the color(s) of any of the clothing you're wearing.  You won't find any "nude" shoes or purses in my closet.
While wearing monotone clothing, or wearing V necks may elongate the look for photography, when I'm out and about and I see a woman wearing monotone or V necks, I'm not fooled that she's taller.  I may think though that she has conscientiously put together her look.

Secondly, I dislike the reliance on form shaping underwear. There is an old fashioned word for form shaping underwear - "foundations."  Maybe today's are better because they are made with miracle fibers but they are still "girdles" to hold in the tummy - slightly.  I recall as a child coming in contact with a horrible rubber one that a relative of mine had in her drawer for emergencies and that "ewe what is that!?" feeling as I pulled it out and stretched it. I agree with her that a good bra that actually fits is a necessity and that you need to be refitted frequently but most women I know try to avoid wearing them because they can be painful. Many women prefer camis and only wear a bra when they must!   I do believe such underwear can sort of smooth your shape, but it's also usually extrememly hot, even clammy, to wear. Better some exercise or diet and 100% cotton against your private parts!


Now, if I didn't think this was a very good book and worth your reading time, I wouldn't even post it here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT! I think the advice in this book is for anyone who wants to have a decent basic wardrobe, regardless of age, if you want the basis of that wardrobe to be classics, fine tailoring to fit (or refit) your clothing (a tailor is essential to add life to those items that you paid a lot of money for back when the shoulder pads were in), and learning how to appear modern not matronly.



Here are some of this fashion-insider/author's best advisements:  
Update your eye glasses every year - they are jewelry for your face.
Buy white t-shirts and underwear cheap because no matter what you do, they will loose that fresh white look from laundering. 
Buying dresses is usually overall a better idea than skirts and matching tops, because dresses can hide your body better, especially if you pay attention to the pattern, which should be swirly or floral. 
Your posture is extremely important, as is your energy and your smile.
Check out the many web sites that Johnson refers you to, and you'll be more educated about fashion and what's right for you, and might even influence today's designers who are also looking at these sites, trying to adapt to what women really think and want to buy!

To me 40 is too young to give up on some of the clothing that is suggested you be done with.  Instead, I ask "What is your physical shape and good attributes and where are you going?"  If you have great legs, I see no reason you have to have your skirts and dresses near the knee, not on you day off, or when you're going to a seaside resort, not even if you're 60.  You may want to think of animal prints in natural colors staid, when you have Zebra rainbow colors to wear with your jeans unless that's too matchy-matchy with your daughter!  And maybe your complexion is such that you really can still wear girly-girl pink and not look like one of those little old ladies with round marks of blush.
You too should read any fashion or beauty book with a strong sense of who you are and what you do or don't agree with! 


Missy
C2017  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

WOULD YOU SUPPORT LEGAL MARRIAGE FOR MORE THAN 2 ADULTS?

Only if one of them can prove they can AFFORD to?


I wonder, if it was legal to be married to more than one person, how many people would stay married instead of getting divorced, and just marry a second person, or even a third.

What about people you meet who've been married MANY times?  Why do they keep getting married?


You comments?


Missy

Monday, June 19, 2017

SWEET DREAMS and FLYING MACHINES by MARK RIBOWSKY ; MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW


I read the entire book though there are only two references to our Mistress of the Month, Evey, who is called Evelyne in Mark Ribowsky's book.  She's identified as a Japanese dancer here, and just has to be the same woman.  The book mostly dwells on Taylor's music career, long time drug addiction, and psychology. 
I found what the author had to say about Evelyne as well as Taylor's being "highly skilled at the art of deception," as he managed his public personae and reputation, and hid his long history of using drugs and alcohol from the public, though it was only too well known to his friends, family, and the mother of his children, Carly Simon.  It's always quite interesting to me how many co-dependents such a person has, but it sounds like Carly had gone to many psychiatrists seeking help for him and them.  You can say that she has been a devout mother and did for a long time attempt to stay married.
Chapter 19, called Never Mind Feeling Sorry For Yourself, is where we find mention of Evelyne.  The scene;Taylor and Simon have a baby son who is sickly and has to have "delicate and risky" surgery. "During the unbearably tense and frightening hours he was in surgery his father (JT) wasn't there because he was driving his latest plaything, a Japanese dancer named EVELYNE to the airport." (Carly was furious and when he did show up at the hospital. Her manager Arlyne Rothberg saw him and started to scream at him to get upstairs at the hospital.  He did eventually arrive and was bedside as the child awoke from surgery.  Prior to this he sat alone outside the hospital alone and "zoning out."


..."Before going back on the road," JT "thought nothing of trading in the dancer for an actress, Kathryn Walker, with whom he now began spending most of his time." (He would marry Walker.)* 


She, Carly, and his first serious girlfriend of note, called Maggie, were all slightly older women and you could say sophisticated and accomplished women.


The author, though he has spent many chapters explaining that Carly Simon was being driven crazy by her husband, seems not to favor her in the end because he doesn't see her as forgiving enough.  Would I?  No way. I think this author gave us plenty of reason why Taylor was so difficult. I know from other reading that he and Walker did divorce, he met and remarried and had twin sons with another woman, his third wife, and now in his seniorhood seems to have learned to live authentically and soberly, and may have come to terms with his past.  However, in my experience and opinion, some people do leave others with lasting, life-altering pain, even when they themselves reach the point of being sorry they lived that way.  Maybe forgiveness is then over-rated!  Missy


*I read this one on e-book, and on Overdrive.  I found these passages on Evey at approx. pages 1681-1686

Friday, June 16, 2017

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Nonconfrontation of Wives

"It's his place to deal with his wife, not mine. "


I know that when I use the word "SHOWDOWN" in a blog post title it attracts hits.  And oh, people love the "cat fight" between two women fighting over one man, hating each other like that, and maybe coming to physical violence.  A few years ago a couple Chinese women Kept by the same man went at it, someone posted it up on YouTube, and it enjoyed a lot of hits.  However, if any relationship you're in makes you get that mean and nasty, that physical, with another person, it's probably not a relationship for you.


Frankly, some men like women to fight or compete over them.  It doesn't have to be a wife - mistress situation.  I've always loathed people who go out of their way to try and make me jealous.  Sometime it's all more subtle - or maybe the term "passive aggressive" would be better - and the man just wants his ego stroked by one or both of the women he's dating or seeing or something - to reveal their passion for him. This type of person plays two people (or more) that he's involved with at the same time just to create such a situation.


However, when you're a Mistress, your place is aside your man's marriage, and sometimes your presence helps him stay married, but coming between them is never a good idea.


Yes, many a woman feels the need and right to confront the Other Woman, who thinks she is the Other Woman.  From what I've read it's even possible that the First Lady, Jacqueline Kennedy, gave a little phone call to Marilyn Monroe.
I'll never forget the time when I and my 20-something best girlfriend drove to the mall because she wanted to confront her Other Women. She and her man were not married, engaged, and hadn't even had the "going steady" talk.  No ring!  However, when she found out that the man she was sleeping with was also sleeping with this Other Woman who worked at one of those kiosks all alone, we were on our way.  I stood back as she went up to her and said, "I just want you to know X is sleeping with me."  I could see this Other Woman was shaken.  First of all, even if her boss wasn't around she was at work.  Secondly, what could she say?
Now I'm more mature and if I have a friend who thinks doing something like this is a good idea, I would tell her I think not.
You have every right to stop having sex with another person and every right to break it off with them if your needs are not met.  But when he is married, that's his marriage, not yours.
So even if his wife shows up on your doorstep, my advice is to tell her she needs to deal with her husband.  I know it may be incredibly difficult to understand and to keep your mouth from going off, especially if you have good reason to Hate her for him, but really, it's his place not yours to deal with his wife.  Besides, she's probably at least as nice as you!



Wednesday, June 14, 2017

THE SHOWDOWN BETWEEN MISTRESS EVEY and CARLY SIMON (part two)

From CARLY SIMON'S memoir BOYS IN THE TREES


NOTES: Carly Simon decided it was time to meet the woman that her husband was keeping in an apartment she had never been to, one that he used for rehearsals. After walking the streets of New York City in the dark, stopping at 2 am at a Cuban restaurant, where the waiter tells her that JAMES TAYLOR and his Mistress also come in there.  He advises her to Love her husband. She arrives at the building in the middle of the night.  When she lets herself in with the key she secretly had copied, she hears a woman wailing and one of James' favorite pieces of music being played on a stereo from the 4th floor apartment.  Before she can use the key again, the apartment door opens. 


There stands Evey, who at first mesmerizes Carly with her beauty but also physical difference.  Carly can't help put compare her hands and feet.  The woman invites her inside.  No doubt tipped off that his wife is on the way, this encounter which Carly is determined will be civilized, not a cat fight, proves that her husband has betrayed her beyond the physical.  Evey is angry with her for James and ready to tell her off.


Seeing a razor blade, the notion of suicide passes through Carly's mind for a moment until she remembers she has the responsibility of her children.  It is clear, after hearing all the lies that James has told against Carly, lies that Evey wholeheartedly believes, that the Mistress is not the problem.  As I read this excerpt, I had to feel so sad for both women.  Read by e-book in Overdrive, I've referenced the pages.



EXCERPT: 
"She stood there, hair in her eyes, which were wide with what I interpreted as terror and angst.  The woman before me, Evey, was tiny and muscular.  She wore a black leotard, dance pants, and small "dance slippers - size four, I guessed.  Her torso was beautifully molded and her hands were white, perfect, not a single mark on them, only a band on the fourth finger.... 1719-1720 e-book (Missy here: What hand? Is this a wedding type band from Jamie?)




EXCERPTS from 1721-1722-1723-1724 e-book :
"I'm trying hard here," I said.... "I want us to be the best we can both be."


"No you're not," she replied in her broken English.  "Jamie doesn't love you.  Don't you know that?  He calls you a JAP - and he told me you buy big Mercedes Convertible, and drive around California trying to be a movie star, but you're not pretty enough." She continued in this vein, "Jamie had told her that I built a swimming pool because I couldn't bear to step on any seaweed or any rocks beneath my feet, where real people go swimming.
Jamie had also told her I disliked the feeling of sand and that if any got in the house, I would take a bottle of spray clearner out from under the sink and spreay out all the sand as if it was some dangereous fungus.  Hmm... not a bad idea. ...


EXCERPTS 1725-1726 e-book
"He says you spend all day shopping and buying fur coats and that you are dressing up your children just like you.  He tells me you nurse your little boy still and that he will grow up to be a fairy." Evey's voice rose, "And don't thick I don't know the difference between "fairy tale" and "Fairy."


EXCERPTS 1727-1728
"He says you don't really sing well and that you spend all day getting bikini waxes so you look good for all your rich boyfriends who spend planes for you all over the world...He says you won't even notice when he is out of the house because you're so in love with your diamonds and fancy shoes and you try them on in front of your mirror.  You are a party girl.  You are a bitch.  A city girl, a lazy playgirl.  What did he call you?  Yes - a swashbuckler - that's it."



Saturday, June 10, 2017

JIM MORRISON PATRICIA KENNEALY and PAMELA COURSON TAKE A REST

Although MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT has received over 25,000 hits on the first post I made in March 2014 on the subject of this trio, featuring the knowingly man-sharing Patricia and Pamela, and I appreciate that, I feel that the search engines are featuring the post, while so many other Mistresses and Mantresses I've written about here go unread.  As a result I decided to take the unprecedented step of taking down those posts, at least temporarily, because - because I can!  Please indulge yourself in many of the others - Mistresses - Mantresses - and the People who Kept Them - featured here in posts.  I promise you more interesting people are coming up!  And ask yourself, AM I A MISTRESS? COULD I EVER BE A MISTRESS?  COULD I KEEP SOMEONE?

Thursday, June 8, 2017

THE SHOWDOWN BETWEEN MISTRESS EVEY and CARLY SIMON (part one)

Boys in the Trees is a Memoir by Carly Simon that focuses on her early years and marriage to James Taylor, a fellow singer-songwriter, who became famous as she did in the 1970's.  The Chapter of the book that deals with Carly's encounter with James' Mistress, whom she calls "Evey," is Twenty Two, titled The Showdown.  Background: Carly Simon and James Taylor have been married for several years and have two children and she has almost become a single mother to them, as he keeps touring, while she breast feeds a sickly son past the age of 2 1/2, which she was advised to do to help him thrive, and deals with his mystery fevers. By 1980 the marriage which has long been challenged by his absence, womanizing, and drug use, and Carly think's it's her preoccupation with mothering her sickly son that may also turn him off her.

In the summer of 1979, James Taylor had a "dalliance with one of his back up singers and claimed (1629-1630 of the e-book) "It's not about you."  Carly then had her first extramarital liaison too.  Then Taylor admitted he was seeing other women including "Evey" a dancer who was living in his 4th floor walk up on West Seventieth Street, New York City.  Carly realized Evey, unlike other women that passed through his life, "wasn't going anywhere." (1635)  She still wanted to be married to James and wondered if "exclusivity" in marriage really existed.  She also found that an old girlfriend from the 1960's was sending him love letters. Again he told her this had nothing to do with her. (1637-1639)

(Of course it does!)

EXCERPT: "As for Evey, I would rather James lived with her and pined for me than the reverse." (1647-1648 e-book)

Carly then found a love note to James written by Evey.  (This is what I mean about wanting to be caught.) It irked Carly that his Mistress was calling him "Jamie," his childhood moniker.

Carly and James were fighting.  She even suggested he move out and never see the children again. He even promised he would not see Evey again.  Then Carly told him that if he and Evey were very happy together then he should pursue her. They were baiting each other and confused.  She wanted him to "swear his undying love," for her and their family.
(1663-1664, 1667-1668)

Finally Carly came up with a plan, first to get her own key made for the apartment where Evey was Kept which she had never seen.

EXCERPT: "Yes it was sneaky, but it wasn't nefarious, corrupt, or dangerous." (1668-1669)

EXCERPT: "What would happen if and when I took the plunge of interfering with Jamie's extracurricular love affair?"  (1677-1678)

 I'm excerpting here from an e-book reading on Overdrive.

Monday, June 5, 2017

MARTHA'S VINYARD 1847

Picture from Wikimedia
File:1847 U.S. Coast Survey Map of Holmes' Hole (Vineyard Haven), Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts - Geographicus - HolmesHole-uscs-1847.jpg

Friday, June 2, 2017

"EVEY" - JAMES TAYLOR'S JAPANESE NEW YORK MISTRESS and HIS WIFE CARLY SIMON



EVEY, a Mistress of one of America's best known and loved singer-songwriter's
 JAMES TAYLOR, 
remains a mystery to us, though Carly Simon, Taylor's wife at the time, has called her out.
She's called EVELYNE in "Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines," a biography
of James Taylor by Mark Ribowsky.

*********************************************************
*******************************************
BOYS IN THE TREES - A MEMOIR by singer-songwriter CARLY SIMON.
 
CARLY SIMON is famous for her glorious almost-opera alto voice, for her wonderfully autobiographical song writing, especially hits like, "You're So Vain," and now long over marriage to singer-songwriter JAMES TAYLOR, with whom she had a son and daughter, who are not surprisingly also musical. 
Apparently though singer-songwriter fans loved that Carly and James were married rock stars, whose voices complimented each other when they made appearances on each other's albums and in concerts, their marriage wasn't what most of the couple's fans imagined. Carly Simon says, though she loved James - and I think this woman's love for her husband and the father of her children was outstanding - they were not the perfect couple that they had been promoted as.  Not at all. She acted as though she had found her soul mate and forgot her view of her parents marriage that she wrote about in her song, "The Way I Always Heard It Should Be."  During her youth her father had Kept his own Nanny as a Mistress and her mother had installed a Boy Toy under their roof and right under her ailing husband's nose.  Had Carly learned to tolerate cheating? She did hold to the belief that no musicians were faithful and she did tolerate her husband's groupies, an affair with a back-up singer, and his confession to her of having gotten gonorrhea.  What made Evey different was that she was a real challenge to her marriage.

Taylor was absent, not only because he continued to tour while she more or less stayed home to raise their two children as if she were a single mother, but because he was a drug addict - pot - coke - whiskey - heroin - and not really there even when he was in the room. You could say he was married to his addictions.

But then Carly discovered that he was also not at home because he had a Mistress stored away in his apartment there in New York City, an apartment she had never seen that he used for rehearsing. Called "Evey" by Carly in her memoir, "Boys In The Trees," Simon had a duplicate key made, and went over there in the middle of the night, a valium and Sangria to help her courage, and faced Evey.  She wanted this other woman to know she was "not a monster."

What Evey had to say to Carly, what James had told his mistress about his wife, was shocking and exaggerated. A sensitive artist, deeply emotional, and profoundly hurt, trying to keep her family together, one child sickly, Carly was perhaps facing reality too. Evey told Carly in so many words that she was considered to be a privileged, materialistic, selfish, and demanding woman. Maybe Evey was just flouting her ability to live in a small, barely furnished pad awaiting her man,"Jamie." A  tiny Japanese (or Japanese-American) woman who spoke English with an accent, she was a dancer with a good body, physically unlike Carly.  Evey was proud of her man and unexpectedly competitive.  Perhaps Jamie really was the biggest deal in her life. She amused herself when he wasn't there playing some of his favorite music. He certainly wasn't Keeping her in luxury.

It's ironic really. Usually when a wife calls out a Mistress, it's her belief that her husband is being too generous (any amount of money can be "too" generous when a wife believes that half of that money should be hers) with the Other Woman.  It's almost as if Evey is proud of her lack of demands and needs, but when I excerpt the showdown between these two later this month, I think you'll gasp like I did at the things Evey had to say to Carly, a woman who had inherited much less than imagined, used most of her inheritance early to pay for therapy, and who had success in her own right. Evey even said James Taylor told her Carly Simon was a "JAP" (Jewish American Princess)! Carly's father was Jewish and a well to do publisher (Simon and Schuster), her mom wasn't, and the family was fairly non religious.
*****Beyond this acknowledgement, later in her life, of her husband's Mistress by Carly, little else is publically known about Evey.  She may have been a musical muse, kind of like Ruth Tryangiel, the Mistress of Bob Dylan. Though in 1980, about a year after the showdown with Evey, their marriage was still intact, Taylor would soon divorce and remarry but not to Evey.  We don't know how she and Tayor met, how long they were together, if she earned enough money to support herself besides the probably free living in the apartment, or if he continued to Keep her when he remarried. After Carly, James went on to marry two more times and seems settled into and happy in his current marriage.  Carly also remarried four years after their divorce from him and is currently divorced from James Hart after almost 20 years of marriage. Evey wasn't why the Simon-Taylor marriage didn't last. 

I usually read books, but I've also started listening to some audio books, and I'm especially interested in doing so if the author is reading their own words to us.  I want to hear their voice and emotional expressions as they read their work. I heard that Carly Simon's memoir about growing up in a well-to-do publishing-related family also contained snippets of her music. What a great idea!  And so I got BOYS IN THE TREES on audio. I must say I loved it and was even brought to tears at times. (I've posted a couple Carly Simon YouTube videos in the past so you know I'm a fan.)

Carly was frank about her early sexual experiences and growing up in a household with a secret which involved her parent's infidelities.  Her mother, still married to an ailing retired husband, with their youngest child a boy, hired a college student to sort of care-give this son, while having an ongoing affair with him. The affair required a secret passageway in their house which one of her sisters figured out first. You could say Andrea Simon, Carly's mom, had herself a Boy Toy for a while. Carly's father, Richard Simon Kept his own nanny, who helped raise him as a child, as his Mistress for years, including after his marriage to Andrea. All this had a profoundly upsetting effect on Carly who may have started stuttering  as a result.

Online you can possibly link to an old article I cut out of Vanity Fair Magazine, titled "I Never Sang For My Mother," by Marie Brenner from August of 1995. At the time it was published it was quite shocking in the revelations about Carly's parents and their extramarital set ups but also that her mother could diminish her daughter so in a moment of her success.

Carly Simon, back in the day when she was a singer-songwriter (a little like the Taylor Swift of her generation) was promoted as a sexy young woman singer-songwriter - and she posed for photos that were considered daring at the time, though a typical selfie by a Kardashian sister is usually showing more nipple or rear end.)  In her memoir she admits to a whirl of affairs with musical men, prior to her marriage, as well as not being the first such woman to be passed around among them.  It was the 1970's, a wave of feminism had hit the shore, and a lot of women had decided they were not going to wait until married to have some adventures with men, but as she was talent and among peers, she was not a groupie.
VANITY FAIR 2016 - CARLY SIMON THE PHOTO THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

 A secondary reference for this month's subject, I'll excerpt from this bio by Mark Ribowsky later in the month.  In this book "Evey" is called EVELYNE

Evey gives us a moment to pause.  She, sadly, falls into the category of Mistresses who are with men who lie terrifically to them about their wives, who have their Mistresses on their side against their wife, and who are in place quite deluded. Having known women and men who've had affairs and behaved in ways in which you can't help but think they are acting out for attention and want to get caught, I can't help but think about James Taylor at this point in his marriage with Carly Simon.
If interested in the Mistresses of musical men, their Mistresses, or their groupies, read archived posts about Bob Dylan, Pamela Des Barres, or Jim Morrison (although that one has an outstanding number of hits and I'm about to take that whole month down!)
 
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