Dear Missy
My parents are elderly. My sister Hannah moved in with them a few years ago to be there so they won't have to go into an assisted living. Basically, the house keeps appreciating and she's hoping to get the house when they die, so long as there is no liens against it for their care.
I work full time but I'm also Kept. I kept it a secret but my sister saw me with Henry a few times and asked me who he is, and stupidly I told her our arrangement. Henry's not rich and I live in an apartment which I pay the rent on. Henry has helped me decorate and is there for me in any emergencies and has given me some generous gifts, not a monthly income or a retirement. My sister seems to think that I will never have to worry about my own old age financially. I don't think that's true. I think that when both of my parents have died, the house should be sold and we should split the money. My sister points out that she gave up a lot of freedom to move in with them and thinks she is earning the house.
Any advice for me?
Terri in Toledo
ANSWER FROM MISSY
Hi Terri,
If your parents are cognitive, I think you should sit down and talk to them, as well as get some advice from an attorney, since I don't know the law in Toledo. If Hannah is actually campaigning against you then she probably told them, "Hey Terri is a Kept Woman, she's got this Henry helping her." So tell them you have a special man in your life, Henry, but you're not married to him and may never be, and that you think you will need some inheritance from them to support you in your old age. Tell them you can't tap into his retirement or Social Security, that you work full time and what you expect to have to live on, emphasize your independence. You're not a Classic Mistress. You're a Modern one whose generous man provides extras, things if you had to you could live without.
You never know who will outlive who.
Missy
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