I WILL NEVER TELL

 

PRINCE EDWARD ALBERT EXPECTED AND GOT DAISY GREVILLE COUNTESS OF WARWICK AS A MISTRESS

Charlie Beresford had one of those "long suffering" wives - Mina.

Like many women of their set, Mina expected her husband to stay with her, no matter what.  But Charlie, was reported in the  London gossip columns as "Bewitched" by Daisy Greville. "Within three years of Daisy's marriage, they were lovers, much to poor Mina's consternation."

Excerpts Pages 148-149 : "Daisy had fallen spectacularly in love, despite the fact that Charlie was fifteen years older. Charlie Beresford was a celebrity, with is irrepressible high spirits, his war record, and the charm that preceded hi into the room; it was said you heard the voice before you saw the man.  Their affair unfolded with the momentum of an Elinor Glyn story, and with a conclusion more astonishing than anything that the romantic novelist could have imagined.

As we have seen, Daisy was accustomed to getting her own way. So it was that one morning, while the Beresfords were staying at Easton Lodge, Daisy strode into Mina's bedroom and told her that she was planning to desert Brookie abandoned their three children, and elope with Charlie.  Mina's response to this extraordinary disclosure was measured.  Mustering all the hauteur of which she was capable, Mina retorted that "the circumstances of the affair" were already well known to society, and that she had no intention of relinquishing her husband. More significantly, Mina said that she was not prepared to sacrifice her husband's career on such an insane scheme and she was taking Charlie home immediately.

If Daisy was devastated by this outcome, it came as something of a relief to Charlie Beresford.  Charlie's infatuation with Daisy was fading fast, and any lingering sentiments he may have had were destroyed by Mina's allegations that Daisy was "not content with his attentions alone." Charlie seemed anxious to move on and consign his relationship with Daisy to the past."

Daisy did not give up, after all she was in love.  In 1886 Mina was pregnant. Daisy raged. She felt betrayed by Charlie. She went against the rule that affairs in the Marlborough set were all right so long as lovers were discreet.  That her behavior had been noted in the gossip columns went against that rule but, worse, she sent a furious letter to Charlie. She wanted Charlie to leave Mina and join her on the Riviera, France. And Daisy also claimed that he was the father of her oldest daughter, Marjorie.

Charlie was not the one to open that letter and read it.  Mina was. She went to a top lawyer in London with it.  He needed to keep whatever machinations occurred out of court. In other words the lawyer was going to have to solicit an agreement, not a divorce. Mina was actually showing more gumption and power than any ordinary woman at that time dare have. She was fighting for her marriage which was, of course, entwinned with her wealth and reputation, her place in high society.

Daisy demanded the letter back...

Excerpt Page 150-151

"Infuriated by the machinations of these irritating wives and pettifogging lawyers who stood in her way, and facing the prospect of ruin if the matter became public, Daisy realized that there was only one person she could turn to. Only one man had the power, the contacts, and the chivalry to come to the aid of this damsel in distress; Bertie, the Prince of Wales. Daisy was by now on good terms with Bertie, dined regularly with him, and had met him at Ascot and Goodwood. More significantly \, Daisy was aware that Bertie was sympathetic and wise, concerning affairs of the heart.  Confident that Bertie would act on her behalf, Daisy wrote to the prince and asked if he would see her.

Bertie responded immediately. ...

... "As she sat in front of his desk, Daisy found that Bertie was looking at her "in a way all women understand."

C2026 Mistress Manifesto - All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

DAISY FORGET ME NOT

 

FRANCES EVELYN MAYNARD WAS NICKNAMED DAISY AS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL : AS A MARRIED WOMAN SHE ENTERED THE DANCE OF ROMANTIC AFFAIRS : SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH LORD CHARLES BERESFORD

In the passages below, please note that the future King Edward VII, is known as Prince Edward Albert - the Prince of Wales. Daisy's husband, Francis Greville, Lord Brooke (later the 5th Earl of Warwick) is known as Brookie. Bertie is the nickname that Queen Victoria called her husband, Prince Albert.

Daisy errored when she went and fell in love with Lord Charles Beresford.

She was a tomboy, but she grew into her femininity and was a sought after bride. She had personal riches, beauty, spirit, and loved to hunt but thought of fishing and shooting as dull. Soon, she and her husband would be socializing with the Royals, the Peerage, and soon she would find her husband, Francis Greville, Lord Brooke (later the 5th Earl of Warwick) dull too.

From the Chapter of Catherine Arnold's book called The Heart Has Its Reasons: Page 146-147

"From the start of her married life, Daisy regularly witnessed the courtly dance of romantic affairs played out against the backdrops of grand country houses, and longed to be part of it, regardless of Brookie's feelings.  It seems to have been a certain acceptance on Brookie's part that Daisy was a force of nature who made her own rules....."

....."It was in this milieu, as a married woman, that Daisy saw exactly how her contemporaries conducted their affairs.  Indeed, it appeared to Daisy that an affair was almost de rigueur, as long as both parties remained discreet.  Unfortunately, discretion was one quality of which Daisy was almost entirely devoid.

Determined to have a little fun of her own, and realizing that country house weekends were the ideal opportunity to bag a lover, Daisy began to cast around for a suitable man for the role. But finding the right individual proved to be more difficult than Daisy expected....

Daisy witnessed one man she was interested in going off with Lillie Langtry... And she did meat Prince Edward Albert, the Prince of Wales, at various society events such as balls and had danced with him and talked with him, but he was involved with Mrs. Cornwallis-West at the time.

"Having provided Brookie with three children, Daisy succeeded in sticking to her marriage vows, despite her headstrong and impulsive character, until the fateful day when she met Lord Charles Beresford. A close friend of the Prince of Wales, Charlie Beresford was the practical joker who had turned off the oxygen in Louis Battenberg's cabin while he was belowdecks "inspecting the facilities" with Lillie Langtry."

Excerpt page 148 : "Lord Charles Beresford (1848-1919) was Berties' former navel aide-de-camp, a decorated war hero, and fourth lord of the admiralty...  By the age of thirty-seven, Charlie Beresford was as outrageous as ever, much to the discomfort of his wife, Mina. Older than Charlie, and physically unprepossessing, Mina had resorted to cosmetics to improve her appearance.  This included false eyelashes, one of which was ripped off by a child who mistook it for a butterfly.  Exposing a nasty streak, Daisy took great pleasure in humiliating Mina....."

Mina would soon enough fight to keep her marriage and prove to be an excellent enemy to Daisy. To do so, to create peace and help Mina preserve her marriage, Prince Edward Albert himself would get involved. However, there would be a price to be paid by Daisy, her husband, and Charlie and his wife, Mina, too.

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DAISY GREVILLE - COUNTESS OF WARWICK : SOCIALIST PHILANTHROPIST MISTRESS OF PRINCE EDWARD ALBERT : SHE FOUGHT FOR WOMEN and THE POOR

1861-1938

A 1905 oil painting by John Singer Sargent of

 FRANCES EVELYN MAYNARD 

who became DAISY GREVILLE - COUNTESS OF WARWICK 

with her son who was fathered by Joseph Laycock, Maynard Greville. 

Daisy had five children, only one who was fathered by her husband.

Image from Wikimedia public domain

I chose this book by author Catherine Arnold to learn about  DAISY GREVILLE - COUNTESS OF WARWICK. It serves as the primary reference for this month's posts. Let's talk about how it is that Daisy got involved with Edward.

The closest friends of Prince Edward Albert, the son of Queen Victoria, were called the Marlborough Set. These were rich people - upper class members of society in Britain - who often married for reasons beyond love, such as the preservation of estates and keeping the bloodlines within a small group of high-born people for the purposes of breeding. Often, once a wife had provided an heir or heirs, she was free to pursue affairs, so long as she was discreet. Everyone who played understood these rules. Generally, once married, any children a woman gave birth to were considered her husband's and he was to financially support those children. Therefore, today's DNA tests might prove that there were many a child not related to both its legal parents.

Queen Victoria was at her wits end with Edward Albert, her eldest son due to become King, and even blamed the stress he caused with his pleasure-seeking lifestyle for the early death of her beloved husband, Albert. 

Prince Edward was 59 before he became King and, though he attended to duty while in wait for the throne, what he really loved was seeking pleasure - wine, women, song, and the horses - the races and betting. Fun for Edward as a youth included mock duels with soda siphons, party games and high-jinks. It has been said, in general, that he may have been taken to Paris and introduced to sexuality at fourteen in a brothel. His parents were aware of his doings - at least enough to be scandalized. His mother thought that getting him married young would resolve the problem of Edward's promiscuity.

Known for arranging good marriages for her many children, Queen Victoria was instrumental in attracting Princess Alexandra of Denmark, known as "Alix," to marry Edward. Alix was 16 when the agreement was reached and they married in 1863 at Saint George's Chapel in Windsor. He was 21 and she was about eighteen. Though the couple had a "honeymoon period," Alix experienced one pregnancy after another. From the time she married until she was 26, when she stopped, the woman had six children. The Princess who would eventually became Queen had certainly done her duty. She was thought of as a 'long suffering" wife who knew her husband could never be faithful to her. 

If the Queen and the Royals knew or not, history has brought us the names of some of the women that the Prince who would become King Edward VII had as lovers and mistresses. Before he married, he had low-born English mistress and early in his marital years he had low-born French mistress. Among the more famous, he saw Cora Pearl, Catherine "Skittles" Walters, Giula "La Barucci" Beneni, Lady Susan Vane Tempest, Jennie Jerome Churchill,  Sarah Bernhardt, and many other married society ladies. Having a mistress or having an affair did not mean that the Prince was momentarily loyal or faithful. He was not a serial monogamist. He could be married, have mistresses, have affairs, and visit prostitutes too. As I see it, he was a Royal sex addict.

Edward was sometimes in danger of being named in rare but extremely scandalous divorce threats and proceedings and was known to try to intervene between wives, husbands, and lawyers. When it comes to Daisy Greville, Countess of Warwick, this would be the case.

Daisy's story will continue here in the next posts but, for now, let me say that the woman who started out life as Frances Evelyn Maynard in 1861 had many brothers to have adventures with. Her love of the outdoors where she could run wild and own a variety of animals including horses considered, she was thought to be a tomboy. Her mother had married Charles Maynard, the son of Henry Maynard, 3rd Viscount, who was quite athletic and spirited but also twenty years older. 

Still, when I began to read Catharine Arnold's account of how Daisy had sought out a extra-marital romance and fallen in love with a man other than her husband, I thought that her life might have all gone a different way. It seems that Prince Edward took full advantage of the fact that he had interceded with her on an earlier romantic dilemma to establish a relationship with her, expecting her gratitude...

Daisy was born during the winter in which London society was mourning the recently deceased Prince Albert, Queen Victoria's husband, and was significantly younger than Price Edward Albert. Her family was considered respectable members of the Peerage and had some famous ancestors such as Nell Gywn, a mistress of King Charles II and the Duke of Albans.

Her father had died three years after she was born, leaving their mother single with two daughters to raise. It was a shock to her mother to learn that her husband and willed his entire estate to daughter Daisy!  Daisy was a beautiful rich girl who was sought as a wife and had the expectation to marry up. Queen Victoria summoned her and wished to matchmake her with her youngest son, Leopold, but she got out of it with the help of Leopold. She married Francis Greville, Lord Brooke (later the 5th Earl of Warwick) in 1881 at Westminster Abbey. The Queen and Royals attended the wedding. But it seems Daisy was soon enough disappointed that her husband, and the life he provided her, while substantial, was too predictable and dull. 

Once married, the Countess of Warwick, Daisy Greville, who bore three children with her husband - the paternity is controversial - became a playing member of the Marlborough set. She also threw dazzling parties - for which she spent lavishly on gowns, jewelry, and all the rest.. Yet, she famously changed her point of view about life and began to help the poor, becoming a controversial socialist and personally going broke!

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You may be interested in reading posts about some of the women mentioned in this opening post.  I'll be including a bit about Lillie Langtry in this month's posts.

February 2025

LILLIE LANGTRY : THREE YEARS AS THE MISTRESS OF SEX ADDICT EDWARD ALBERT, PRINCE OF WALES IN THE 1870'S : SHE FOUND HER WAY FORWARD IN MODELING AND ACTING

July  2012     

CORA PEARL

BROUGHT OUT NAKED ON A SILVER DISH, LINED WITH VIOLETS

August 2024

CATHERINE WALTERS : IRISH-ENGLISH HORSEWOMAN WHO EVEN IMPRESSED THE FRENCH and RETIRED WELL

November 2025

SARAH BERNHARDT : DAUGHTER OF COURTESAN YOULE VAN HARD : TRANSFORMED HERSELF INTO A WORLD FAMOUS ACTRESS AND A NATIONAL ICON OF FRANCE KNOWN FOR HER OWN "SCANDALOUS" LIFE

 

BEFORE WE BEGIN : THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY IS ON MY MIND

We will begin the month of April shortly: 

Last February 2025, I featured Lilly Langtry, a mistress of King Edward VII (when he was still Prince Edward) as Mistress of the Month.  My primary source for that month's posts came from Ian Graham's book titled "Scarlet Women" in which she was one of the women Graham wrote about. A couple months ago I went to a library where there were several books on King Edward VII (Great Britain) and his 'love life'. I took them home and read them.

In the last several months, partly because of the Jeffrey Epstein Sex Trafficking Scandal, which has only gotten more scandalous since the release of the Epstein Files, I've been thinking about the former Prince Andrew (stripped of his titles, honorariums, and all opportunities to work for Great Britain as a member of the Royal Family, now simply Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor) and being raised as the second to the throne. I've been thinking of Sarah Ferguson, Andrew's wife and best friend since their divorce years ago. Both have been essentially banished and removed. 

I featured Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, and back in September of 2023. I found her memoir unexpectedly well written and interesting.

I've been reading news articles and listening to media coverage about the Royal Family and the issues they must deal with. I sometimes listen to the YouTube station which is owned by and stars Lady Colin Campbell, who I featured here in June of 2024. (Lady Colin Campbell is also a book author, famous for publishing the first book about Princess Diana and Prince Charles and their marriage.)

I don't agree with all her opinions but, as one of her son's said recently, she is a character and perceptive and often right.

Lady Colin Campbell discussed the reality of wives and mistresses in her family and among the British settled in Jamaica in her memoir about growing up in "Daughter of Narcissus".

She doesn't much like Prince Harry or his wife, Princess Meghan, and she once defended Prince Andrew, until she learned he was lying. And, as you most recent readers know, I devoted January of this year to Virginia Guiffre, and her book about being an Epstein sex trafficked survivor. Prince Andrew is in deep trouble as a result of his involvement with the evil Epstein.

I wonder, if it's true that, perhaps, the ex-Prince Andrew and his, as I see it, sex addiction which got him in such terrible trouble, is an inherited trait. Is it genetic? Nature versus nurture? Does it have something to do with being born into high status and riches, with what would seem to be extreme opportunity, but also strong expectations and limitations on what he might do with his blessed life?  Prince Harry was long a second to the throne just as Andrew was, and he has established a life very different than what was expected of him but, though I sense he is happy in his marriage and with his children, he is condemned for abandoning those expectations that he would be a helpmate to his older brother, future King Prince William. But let's face it. Harry certainly did some running around and partying and had other relationships while remaining unmarried until he settled down with his wife, however controversial they are. (Lady Colin Campbell is just one British media person who heavily condemns him and his wife. Frankly, I don't know how it is that the both of them are still standing because it seems there is nothing either of them can do without international criticism.)

These days the privacy granted pre-Internet of persons of high birth and high achievement by the media is gone. Back in the day, the British tabloids might have called Andrew "Randy Andy" but the details were generally kept from us. What emerged were well researched books about these interesting persons who, it could be said, had the world in their hands.

Of all the British princes and kings who have had mistresses, perhaps it is true that Edward Albert, Prince of Wales who became King Edward VII, was among King's who had mistresses, the British Royal most known to be a sex addict. Lillie Langtry was not his first lover, but his first well known and accepted (i.e. official) mistress after his marriage. Said to have been introduced to sex very young - perhaps fourteen - in Paris, the young prince, well before his marriage at twenty-one, was reportedly avid for sex and also went to prostitutes. Though he had some work before he became King and more after, he went about his official duties distracted by and intent on pleasure.

I will be focused on this monarch, who was Queen Elizabeth II's great grandfather, and his mistresses over the next months. I hope you will join in our discovery!

Missy

POLLINATOR

 

LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH PASSED AT AGE 91 : A VERY FULL LIFE

Here are some obituaries about Lady Annabel Goldsmith that are quite interesting including photographs. 

BBC NEWS : LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH DIES AT 91

Excerpt: Her youngest child Ben said she was "quite simply irreplaceable".

He added: "We are bereft, not for her – because her life has been extraordinary and complete - but for us, because of the immense hole in our lives she leaves behind."

Mr. Goldsmith said: "I spoke to her every day for 45 years, she truly had my back and we loved each other very much. I will miss her terribly."

THE GUARDIAN : LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH OBITUARY

Excerpt: Goldsmith, who has died aged 91, was herself a celebrity, accessible to journalists and happy to explain about the men in her life at a time when talking openly about being a mistress was still vaguely scandalous. Having married Birley as a teenager in 1954, she began a relationship with the financier Sir James Goldsmith 10 years later, having discovered that her first husband was a serial adulterer – as, it turned out, was her second.

By the time they married in 1978, she had two children with him and would go on to have a third, to add to three with Birley. He then embarked on further affairs, and remarked: “If you marry your mistress, you create a vacancy.”

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WHAT MISTRESS OF THE MONTH ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS BLOG?

I know that the more hits a subject or post gets, the higher up in the ranking, and sometimes that just isn't fair because I spend a lot of time researching for newer subjects and posts too.

I wonder.  WHICH MISTRESS ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS BLOG?

Missy

CLOVER

 

ANNABELS PRIVATE MEMBERS CLUB : PRIVACY AND DISCRETION

The club currently features elaborate and beautiful holiday decorations for Halloween, Christmas, and such.

To quote the poster of this YouTube video, "It was, also, a place of romance where invitations meant that courtships had moved to a more serious level and numerous marriage proposals resulted. It summed up, quite simply, the most elegant nightclub and private dining anywhere in the world."

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OTHER BOOKS AUTHORED BY LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH (SHE LOVED DOGS!)

 

In this book Lady Annabel Goldsmith wrote about her childhood and growing up in a rich family, and her parents ; her father a liberal Member of Parliament who raised her after her mother died young of cancer. She married Mark Birley at the age of twenty, and had three children by him. She writes about her children, her affair with Sir James Goldsmith, but most of all some of the fascinating people who were part of her social life. You can see by the title that these people were welcomed into her home and friendship. Pelham cottage was the place she lived until she and Sir James Goldsmith finally got married and she moved.

I remember reading Annabel's memoir and she clearly loved dogs. She wrote this book about one of them.

This book is a lot of fun, as Annabel recounts Copper's adventures on the aristocratic social scene as well as the London buses, and well, you know that, like most dog owners, there had to be some premonitions about what this particular dog was up to ...

She contributed to this book, all about the life and death of best friends. Dogs were important to Annabel and her family and her garden at Ormeley Lodge has memorials to some of them. 

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LADY ANNABEL WAS ALSO KNOWN FOR HER GARDENING AND GARDEN PARTIES AT OREMELY LODGE

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was known for her interest in gardening, especially at Oremely Lodge, and her garden is one you can visit. Oremely is a fine old historic building, 18th century red brick, built in 1715. There are several images of it on the Internet. I'll link so you can take a look.

NATIONAL GARDEN SCHEME - OREMELY LODGE GARDENS (Virtual garden go-sees.)

"Large walled garden in delightful rural setting on Ham Common. Wide herbaceous borders and box hedges. Walk through to orchard with wild flowers. Vegetable garden, knot garden, aviary and chickens. Trellised tennis court with roses and climbers. A number of historic stone family dog memorials."

GREAT GARDENS OF LONDON : GOOGLE BOOKS EXCERPT : by Victoria Summerley, Hugo Rittson Thomas, and Marianne Majerus

There's wisteria, magnolia, a Knot Garden, where box hedges contrast with more free form plantings. The memorials for the family dogs make it especially unique. Page down for photos and descriptions!

LILACS

 

AUTHOR SARAH BRADFORD ON ANNABEL'S RELATIONSHIP WITH PRINCESS DIANA : A MOTHER FIGURE TO THE MOTHERLESS DIANA

DIANA, Finally The Complete Story by Sarah Bradford 

Excerpt: "....the two women close to Diana for the remainder of her life were glamourous mother figures, Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Brazilian Ambassadress Lucia Fletcha de Lima. Another older woman, lady Bowker, was the recipient of many confidences about her love life.  Lady Annabel, a daughter of the 8th Marquess of Londonderry, had formerly been married to Mark Birley, founder of the smartest of London nightclubs which he named after her. Glamourous, popular, and social, Lady Annabel had two sons and a daughter by Birley, and subsequently two more sons and a daughter by the fabulously rich Sir James Goldsmith, international financier and celebrated gambler. Annabel Elliot, Camilla Parker Bowles sister, was a particular friend of Annabel's and it was at her birthday party at the Goldsmith house, Ormeley Lodge. on Ham Common, that Diana's face-to-face interview with Camilla had taken place. The Camilla connection was, in a perverse way, an attraction for Diana, as was later the marriage of Annabel's beautiful daughter, Jemima Kahn, when the Pakistani connection became important to her.

Annabel was a contemporary of Diana's mother, Frances, and had known her well. Her own children ranged from Rupert Birley, born in 1955, to the youngest, Zak Goldsmith, born in 1980, and with nephews, nieces, and stepchildren the Goldsmith house supplied a wonderful family atmosphere that attracted Diana. Ben Goldsmith was just over two years older than William, and Diana would bring the children with her to marathon Sunday lunches at Ormeley..."

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WILD FLOWERS

 

ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE : READ HER BOOK ON INTERNET ARCHIVE

INTERNET ARCHIVE : ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE 

You can open an account and read page by page.

After checking three libraries that I hold cards with, as well as Google Books and Project Gutenberg, finally I found a copy of Annabel: An Unconventional Life, which came out about 2004 to share with you! I read cover to cover so long ago!  The photo on this edition shows Annabel as a young, smart women who liked to go clubbing, but other editions have a photo of Annabel, also from youth, in which she appears far more innocent!

You can read about her childhood, her debutante days, and page 173 starts the chapter Meeting Jimmy, as in Sir James Goldsmith, to whom she was first the Mistress of, and then a Wife. With him she had a second family. Jemima was born in 1974 when Annabel was 34 years old, Zac in 1975, when she was 35, and Ben, when she was 40...  This was a second serious relationship for Annabel, who already had three children with her first husband, Mark Birley. James Goldsmith wanted children with her. A friend of his told her the truth, that he was getting bored and wanted them. But she was still married to Mark Birley and was Goldsmith's mistress. Eventually they did marry, but then Goldsmith found another Mistress who lived in New York!

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ROSES AND BUTTERFLY IN THE BREEZE

 

LADY ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH : MOTHER OF SIX GREAT CHILDREN : POSH AND WITH PURPOSE : ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRITISH ARISTOCRATIC MISTRESSES OF CONTEMPORARY TIMES

Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise. 

In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever. 

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress,

 but not a very good wife." - Lady Annabel

LADY ANNABEL (VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART) BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

1934 - 2025

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.

In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.

Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.

She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***

Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.

What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.

Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.'  Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.

Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.

This month we'll celebrate Lady Annabel for her intelligence and sophistication, and for all the love she gave.

*** A version of this post was originally posted November 5 2009 in the very beginnings of this blog, Mistress Manifesto. 

*** Information on Lady Annabel's volunteer work and philanthropy is from Google AI.

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You may also be interested in:

May 2012           

LORD BATH (the Loins of Longleat)

and his Many Mistresses (He calls them "Wifelets"!)

 

QUEEN VICTORIA's MYSTERIOUS DAUGHTER (PRINCESS LOUISE) by LUCINDA HAWKSELY : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

 A Biography of Princess Louise by Lucinda Hawksley

This book held some surprises. Not familiar with Queen Victoria, other than to hear she had married her many children into so many noble households that she was called the Grandmother of Royal Europe, I had no idea that she had a daughter who unconventionally married a commoner, Princess Louise. Louise was Queen Victoria's sixth child and fourth daughter. This Princess was an artist and sculptor who created many excellently designed and executed statues to honor her mother which are still on public display. Much of this book is devoted to Louise's artistic achievement. 

There's a possibility, certainly the author suggests this as an explanation, that Louise was so unconventional that she actually had a child without marriage that was put up for adoption. (Who might that have been, we wonder, but there is no hint.) Officially, she had no children.

She was encouraged to marry but was hesitant to marry at all, as one man after another was dismissed as a possible husband. What Royal Princess could remain unmarried? She accepted the future 9th Duke of Argyll, Lorne, in 1870. Her siblings and her father, Bertie, were against the match but Queen Victoria prevailed. The marriage was no love match. On her honeymoon Princess Louise took along her dogs. It's possible that while the Duke accepted that she was barren, what might have happened is a sterilization by the doctor who delivered her illegitimate child or simply the birth of that child was too traumatic. It may be that the couple lived separate lives from the start. So why?

While I read the book, I considered another possibility, which the author did not, and that was that perhaps Louise, illegitimate child or not, simply wasn't heterosexual. She would not have been the only person who found themselves uninterested in marriage, or men, or who was married to another person who was not heterosexual, in order to be socially acceptable. 

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DO YOU HAVE A VASE?

 

MARTIN ALLWOOD QUOTATION

"If you do not let love reside in the body it is homeless." - Martin Allwood

THE LAST YEARS OF BARBARA VILLIERS - COUNTESS OF CASTLEMAINE - NOW DUCHESS OF CLEVELAND : THE AGING KING WITHOUT AN HEIR LOVES AND VISITS ALL HIS CHILDREN BY SEVERAL MISTRESSES

1668 : Barbara Villiers moved into her new home with her three youngest children, Henry, Charlotte, and George.  Anne and Charles, the two eldest, were in school. The King visited every day but it was generally understood that the King and his longest enduring mistress, Barbara, were just friends! Meanwhile Moll Davies was set up lavishly and also had a child and Nell Gwynn would soon, in 1670, also have a child. He loved his children and made visits to them and their mothers frequently. It was clear he would never have an heir with his Queen, Catherine of Braganza. The King, in an effort to placate Barbara, gave her another title - Duchess of Cleveland. 

In 1671, though Barbara had begun to take lovers at will, she became the mistress of John Churchill, who was a few years younger than she was. She would have a daughter she named Barbara Churchill. Barbara Villiers was in her early thirties and had experienced many pregnancies and as her children with the King grew up, she became concerned with their educations and arranging marriages for them.

Whatever problems that the King's advisors and friends had caused Barbara and her relationship with him over the years, the King kept on giving them honors and her children were desirable when it came to marriages. There was even a competitive spirit when it came to matchmaking.

Excerpt: ... Arms were granted to Anne and Charlotte, who were made Lady Companions of the Order of the Garter, and all three sons were granted arms, crests  and supporters. 

Excerpt page 153 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Six months after she became a Duchess, the King granted his mistress the house at Nonsuch with its surrounding parkland, with the remainder to Charles and George.... In 1673 her fortunes continued to augment with astonishing rapidity. Camouflaged as usual in the form of gifts to her uncles, the Duchess's new acquisitions included lands in the Duchy of Cornwall, a warrant for 5000 pounds as a free gift, as well as wine licenses....

***

Barbara's husband, Roger Palmer stayed away... Barbara, also concerned with her estate acquired other properties as gifts from the King and her own business dealings.....

In 1685 the King died a natural death, likely heart failure. The King expressed the desire to become a Catholic on his death bed. James II would follow and William III in 1702. Barbara lived through so many historical changes. In 1705 her husband Roger died. They had been married over forty years. Perhaps surprising to everyone Barbara married again, just months after Roger's death to Robert Fielding, another Catholic.  Fielding pursued her and soon enough began to fleece her. Discovering this she raged and he beat her. She charged him also of bigamy but the verdict was that the marriage was void. He got a pardon from Queen Anne. She was humiliated.

In August 1709, Barbara made her will and died within a few weeks of her sixty-ninth birthday. She had swelled with water (sometimes a symptom of cancer) and had finally lost her looks. 

As I survey the genealogy charts that appear on the Internet beginning with Barbara Villiers, I see that one of her daughters is said to have born at least eighteen children.  These days, I do wonder what DNA testing would prove.  Was her last child Churchill's, the King's? 

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BARBARA VILLIERS PREGNANCY CRISIS : A VOLATILE LADY GETS A KING TO BEG FORGIVENESS BUT HE HAS TAKEN UP WITH OTHER MISTRESSES : MOLL DAVIES, NELL GWYNN, AND LOUISE DE KEROUALLE

Was Barbara Villiers on the way out or King Charles II's favorite? Knowing she was living this controversy, Barbara decided to create a situation in which the King would be tested. The two of them did sometimes have a violent argument and this time, pregnant again, the issue was the paternity of the child she was - yet again - pregnant with. The King was having financial problems, his advisors had less influence on him that she did but he had not slept with Barbara in several months, but she insisted that he accept the child.

Excerpt page 105 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Somebody had said that the Countess of Castlemaine in one of her rages was less like Medea than one of Medea's dragons...

***

This time, based on the King's behavior and Barbara's, it seemed like they were breaking up for good. She left the Palace and stayed close by until the King came begging for forgiveness. Meanwhile Frances Stuart, who had married and was now Frances, Duchess of Richmond, came back to London with her husband and was rumored to be back as the mistress of the King.  And other women were being introduced to the King as others attempted to distract him and gain influence, among them actress Moll Davies, and actress Nell Gwynn.  He would also have a son by mistress Louise de Keroualle. Rumor had it, also that Barbara had fallen in love with another man.

Excerpt page 117 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Lady Castle Maine was not 'frightened' by her new rival. As always, she had come to terms with the situation, she accepted the fact that she must share the King's affection and remained calm. She saw to it that in spite of the new threat from the world of the there she still extracted the full measure of reward for the trouble she took in bearing the King's children..... gossamer Moll and Cockney Nell would never usurp the position that the shrewd and discerning Barbara had made for herself in the inner circles of government and power.

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RED RED ROSE

 

QUEEN CATHERINE and BARBARA VILLIERS MUST PUT UP WITH EACH OTHER ? SOON BOTH WIFE AND MISTRESS MUST ACCEPT YET ANOTHER MISTRESS : FRANCES STUART

Catherine of Braganza, the Queen, however arranged her marriage to King Charles II was, did hope that she and the King would love each other and have a good relationship. She didn't speak the language, was pretty but not a great beauty, and she had many adjustments to make to get alone. She could not be oblivious to the fact that the King was not spending much time with her and had a Mistress. However, it seems she warmed to him and fell in love with the King herself. Though she was a bit delicate, she took her responsibility to have children seriously. Realizing she had no friends, lonely, the Queen decided to be friendly with Barbara. The King meanwhile kept her close, having Barbara assigned to assist his wife as a Lady of the Bedchamber.

Excerpt page 55 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

The Chancellor and his friends made their greatest mistake in acknowledging the Lady's physical attractions but failing to recognize her intelligence, her instinctive knowledge of the workings of the Court, and her in bread ability to move at east in royal circles...  The Lady outclasses them all (the Kings other mistresses of short duration) in her power not only to capture the King's affection but also to dominate and manipulate his circle of friends.

***

1662: The King's advisors followed him to the house on King Street where the King had put Barbara. She entertained them all there with good conversation. It was politically and socially the best way for them to have his ear. But some found that she could also prevent them from speaking the King. Frances Stuart, a pretty young woman, was introduced to the King to divert his interest to another Mistress.

Excerpt page 68 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

... Shining by virtue of her own luminescence, she had become independent and selfish, and distressingly difficult to bribe.  Nor was it possible to prophesy how long she would keep her hold over the King. Her reign had already lasted longer than any Mistress could rightfully expect, and it had to be admitted that in the early summer of 1663 her looks had deteriorated....

***

However, not to be repressed, Barbara Villiers - Countess of Castlemaine, gave birth to a son, Henry, and a couple days later headed out to be with the King. The King did not accept paternity of this son immediately due to rumors that she had another lover. Aware that she might be loosing her position, Barbara did something to please her Catholic husband, Roger Palmer, and converted to Catholicism herself.  Was it possible she would have to live with him and spend the rest of her life with him?

1664: All three women had to get along, co-exist though rivals, and avoid being hostile openly with each other in order to please the King.  Barbara might have been aging and might have competition with other women and enemies among the men who sought to influence and advise the King on all things, but in September of that year, she gave birth again, her fourth child and second daughter and the King immediately accepted the baby as his offspring.  

Sadly, a little over a week later, Barbara once again determined to entertain the King and socialize and this time it was too much for her.

Excerpt page 79 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

... Her maid and her page, the only attendants who were with her,  helped her back to the Palace, and as soon as she reached her room she fainted.  The King was informed at once, and he showed his concern by the speed with which  he rushed to her apartments and his alacrity in ordering that all the Park gates should be closed and everyone inside arrested ... The incident proved that however great the Lady might become, she would always have her enemies ... But she soon recovered her full beauty and those who had so hopefully sponsored Frances (Stuart) were transferring their loyalty back to the Lady in the knowledge that it was at her evening gatherings they would spend their time most profitably.

***  

Three years into the King's relationship with Frances, Barbara won the more exclusive attention of the King, for neither Frances or his wife, the Queen, had become pregnant.

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JESSE JACKSON PASSED AWAY : KARIN STANFORD - A MISTRESS OF JACKSON, - WAS OUR MISTRESS OF THE MONTH IN MAY 2011!

There's some really interesting posts from way back in the day :  This was the start of May 2011, when I elected KARIN STANFORD as Mistress of the Month!  You can read that month by going into my archived posts: see the sidebar of this blog!  - Missy

Here's a redo of the initial post.

MISTRESS OF THE MONTH KARIN STANFORD :

HE WAS MARRIED WITH FIVE CHILDREN, 

SHE WAS 19 YEARS YOUNGER, 

HE'S PAYING $4000 a MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT

KARIN STANFORD is Mistress of the Month for May 2011!

She's Jesse Jackson (Sr.)'s ex, with whom he has a daughter, Ashley. Karin has gone after child support and been fairly quoted in the news, though she says it was the FEDS who outed them.

Jesse Jackson is one of those Christian Ministers who has a lifestyle that's barely conservative, a charismatic man, and one who had Presidential ambitions. It was he who counseled then President of the United States, Bill Clinton, when Bill got caught lying about Monica Lewinsky. It just may be that because of his affair with Karin, Jesse had to give up on a White House Future.

Karin says she has "no regrets," and thinks of their daughter as a miracle child, born in 2000. Karin started life over as a professor of Pan-African Studies and Politics - at California State College, Northridge, in Los Angeles California, and is the author of a book titled "Cancer Survivors, Breaking the Silence - Inspirational Stories of Black Cancer Survivors", as well as other books.

Like many modern mistresses, she is an educated woman, who could support herself well, without a man's help. Never the less, love and awe of a man, led her to being a mistress, at least for a time in her life. 

UPDATE AUGUST 2013: Karin, if we count hits only, is probably the most popular mistress I've written about. A recent comment about what would have happened if a CONSERVATIVE Public Figure had been involved with Karin intrigues me. As recent new information comes out about Monica Lewinsky and President William Clinton comes out, I think that in fact there have been many politicians linked with women other than their wives. Some of these mostly men are Republicans, some are Democrats. Some of these men have suffered for it, even if it only appeared they had an affair, or it was discovered they had many affairs, and some have fathered children in long term adultery. Consider Gary Hart. However, defining who is a mistress these days is complicated by the general lack of marriage, couples who lived together, people who have an alternative lifestyle such as living in deliberate polygamy or living with more than one lover all in the same household. I don't dwell on those who have affairs but not RELATIONSHIPS, and where there is a child there is usually a RELATIONSHIP.

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