CLOVER

 

ANNABELS PRIVATE MEMBERS CLUB : PRIVACY AND DISCRETION

The club currently features elaborate and beautiful holiday decorations for Halloween, Christmas, and such.

To quote the poster of this YouTube video, "It was, also, a place of romance where invitations meant that courtships had moved to a more serious level and numerous marriage proposals resulted. It summed up, quite simply, the most elegant nightclub and private dining anywhere in the world."

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OTHER BOOKS AUTHORED BY LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH (SHE LOVED DOGS!)

 

In this book Lady Annabel Goldsmith wrote about her childhood and growing up in a rich family, and her parents ; her father a liberal Member of Parliament who raised her after her mother died young of cancer. She married Mark Birley at the age of twenty, and had three children by him. She writes about her children, her affair with Sir James Goldsmith, but most of all some of the fascinating people who were part of her social life. You can see by the title that these people were welcomed into her home and friendship. Pelham cottage was the place she lived until she and Sir James Goldsmith finally got married and she moved.

I remember reading Annabel's memoir and she clearly loved dogs. She wrote this book about one of them.

This book is a lot of fun, as Annabel recounts Copper's adventures on the aristocratic social scene as well as the London buses, and well, you know that, like most dog owners, there had to be some premonitions about what this particular dog was up to ...

She contributed to this book, all about the life and death of best friends. Dogs were important to Annabel and her family and her garden at Ormeley Lodge has memorials to some of them. 

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LADY ANNABEL WAS ALSO KNOWN FOR HER GARDENING AND GARDEN PARTIES AT OREMELY LODGE

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was known for her interest in gardening, especially at Oremely Lodge, and her garden is one you can visit. Oremely is a fine old historic building, 18th century red brick, built in 1715. There are several images of it on the Internet. I'll link so you can take a look.

NATIONAL GARDEN SCHEME - OREMELY LODGE GARDENS (Virtual garden go-sees.)

"Large walled garden in delightful rural setting on Ham Common. Wide herbaceous borders and box hedges. Walk through to orchard with wild flowers. Vegetable garden, knot garden, aviary and chickens. Trellised tennis court with roses and climbers. A number of historic stone family dog memorials."

GREAT GARDENS OF LONDON : GOOGLE BOOKS EXCERPT : by Victoria Summerley, Hugo Rittson Thomas, and Marianne Majerus

There's wisteria, magnolia, a Knot Garden, where box hedges contrast with more free form plantings. The memorials for the family dogs make it especially unique. Page down for photos and descriptions!

LILACS

 

AUTHOR SARAH BRADFORD ON ANNABEL'S RELATIONSHIP WITH PRINCESS DIANA : A MOTHER FIGURE TO THE MOTHERLESS DIANA

DIANA, Finally The Complete Story by Sarah Bradford 

Excerpt: "....the two women close to Diana for the remainder of her life were glamourous mother figures, Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Brazilian Ambassadress Lucia Fletcha de Lima. Another older woman, lady Bowker, was the recipient of many confidences about her love life.  Lady Annabel, a daughter of the 8th Marquess of Londonderry, had formerly been married to Mark Birley, founder of the smartest of London nightclubs which he named after her. Glamourous, popular, and social, Lady Annabel had two sons and a daughter by Birley, and subsequently two more sons and a daughter by the fabulously rich Sir James Goldsmith, international financier and celebrated gambler. Annabel Elliot, Camilla Parker Bowles sister, was a particular friend of Annabel's and it was at her birthday party at the Goldsmith house, Ormeley Lodge. on Ham Common, that Diana's face-to-face interview with Camilla had taken place. The Camilla connection was, in a perverse way, an attraction for Diana, as was later the marriage of Annabel's beautiful daughter, Jemima Kahn, when the Pakistani connection became important to her.

Annabel was a contemporary of Diana's mother, Frances, and had known her well. Her own children ranged from Rupert Birley, born in 1955, to the youngest, Zak Goldsmith, born in 1980, and with nephews, nieces, and stepchildren the Goldsmith house supplied a wonderful family atmosphere that attracted Diana. Ben Goldsmith was just over two years older than William, and Diana would bring the children with her to marathon Sunday lunches at Ormeley..."

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WILD FLOWERS

 

ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE : READ HER BOOK ON INTERNET ARCHIVE

INTERNET ARCHIVE : ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE 

You can open an account and read page by page.

After checking three libraries that I hold cards with, as well as Google Books and Project Gutenberg, finally I found a copy of Annabel: An Unconventional Life, which came out about 2004 to share with you! I read cover to cover so long ago!  The photo on this edition shows Annabel as a young, smart women who liked to go clubbing, but other editions have a photo of Annabel, also from youth, in which she appears far more innocent!

You can read about her childhood, her debutante days, and page 173 starts the chapter Meeting Jimmy, as in Sir James Goldsmith, to whom she was first the Mistress of, and then a Wife. With him she had a second family. Jemima was born in 1974 when Annabel was 34 years old, Zac in 1975, when she was 35, and Ben, when she was 40...  This was a second serious relationship for Annabel, who already had three children with her first husband, Mark Birley. James Goldsmith wanted children with her. A friend of his told her the truth, that he was getting bored and wanted them. But she was still married to Mark Birley and was Goldsmith's mistress. Eventually they did marry, but then Goldsmith found another Mistress who lived in New York!

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ROSES AND BUTTERFLY IN THE BREEZE

 

LADY ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH : MOTHER OF SIX GREAT CHILDREN : POSH AND WITH PURPOSE : ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRITISH ARISTOCRATIC MISTRESSES OF CONTEMPORARY TIMES

Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise. 

In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever. 

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress,

 but not a very good wife." - Lady Annabel

LADY ANNABEL (VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART) BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

1934 - 2025

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.

In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.

Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.

She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***

Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.

What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.

Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.'  Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.

Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.

This month we'll celebrate Lady Annabel for her intelligence and sophistication, and for all the love she gave.

*** A version of this post was originally posted November 5 2009 in the very beginnings of this blog, Mistress Manifesto. 

*** Information on Lady Annabel's volunteer work and philanthropy is from Google AI.

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You may also be interested in:

May 2012           

LORD BATH (the Loins of Longleat)

and his Many Mistresses (He calls them "Wifelets"!)

 

QUEEN VICTORIA's MYSTERIOUS DAUGHTER (PRINCESS LOUISE) by LUCINDA HAWKSELY : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

 A Biography of Princess Louise by Lucinda Hawksley

This book held some surprises. Not familiar with Queen Victoria, other than to hear she had married her many children into so many noble households that she was called the Grandmother of Royal Europe, I had no idea that she had a daughter who unconventionally married a commoner, Princess Louise. Louise was Queen Victoria's sixth child and fourth daughter. This Princess was an artist and sculptor who created many excellently designed and executed statues to honor her mother which are still on public display. Much of this book is devoted to Louise's artistic achievement. 

There's a possibility, certainly the author suggests this as an explanation, that Louise was so unconventional that she actually had a child without marriage that was put up for adoption. (Who might that have been, we wonder, but there is no hint.) Officially, she had no children.

She was encouraged to marry but was hesitant to marry at all, as one man after another was dismissed as a possible husband. What Royal Princess could remain unmarried? She accepted the future 9th Duke of Argyll, Lorne, in 1870. Her siblings and her father, Bertie, were against the match but Queen Victoria prevailed. The marriage was no love match. On her honeymoon Princess Louise took along her dogs. It's possible that while the Duke accepted that she was barren, what might have happened is a sterilization by the doctor who delivered her illegitimate child or simply the birth of that child was too traumatic. It may be that the couple lived separate lives from the start. So why?

While I read the book, I considered another possibility, which the author did not, and that was that perhaps Louise, illegitimate child or not, simply wasn't heterosexual. She would not have been the only person who found themselves uninterested in marriage, or men, or who was married to another person who was not heterosexual, in order to be socially acceptable. 

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DO YOU HAVE A VASE?

 

MARTIN ALLWOOD QUOTATION

"If you do not let love reside in the body it is homeless." - Martin Allwood

THE LAST YEARS OF BARBARA VILLIERS - COUNTESS OF CASTLEMAINE - NOW DUCHESS OF CLEVELAND : THE AGING KING WITHOUT AN HEIR LOVES AND VISITS ALL HIS CHILDREN BY SEVERAL MISTRESSES

1668 : Barbara Villiers moved into her new home with her three youngest children, Henry, Charlotte, and George.  Anne and Charles, the two eldest, were in school. The King visited every day but it was generally understood that the King and his longest enduring mistress, Barbara, were just friends! Meanwhile Moll Davies was set up lavishly and also had a child and Nell Gwynn would soon, in 1670, also have a child. He loved his children and made visits to them and their mothers frequently. It was clear he would never have an heir with his Queen, Catherine of Braganza. The King, in an effort to placate Barbara, gave her another title - Duchess of Cleveland. 

In 1671, though Barbara had begun to take lovers at will, she became the mistress of John Churchill, who was a few years younger than she was. She would have a daughter she named Barbara Churchill. Barbara Villiers was in her early thirties and had experienced many pregnancies and as her children with the King grew up, she became concerned with their educations and arranging marriages for them.

Whatever problems that the King's advisors and friends had caused Barbara and her relationship with him over the years, the King kept on giving them honors and her children were desirable when it came to marriages. There was even a competitive spirit when it came to matchmaking.

Excerpt: ... Arms were granted to Anne and Charlotte, who were made Lady Companions of the Order of the Garter, and all three sons were granted arms, crests  and supporters. 

Excerpt page 153 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Six months after she became a Duchess, the King granted his mistress the house at Nonsuch with its surrounding parkland, with the remainder to Charles and George.... In 1673 her fortunes continued to augment with astonishing rapidity. Camouflaged as usual in the form of gifts to her uncles, the Duchess's new acquisitions included lands in the Duchy of Cornwall, a warrant for 5000 pounds as a free gift, as well as wine licenses....

***

Barbara's husband, Roger Palmer stayed away... Barbara, also concerned with her estate acquired other properties as gifts from the King and her own business dealings.....

In 1685 the King died a natural death, likely heart failure. The King expressed the desire to become a Catholic on his death bed. James II would follow and William III in 1702. Barbara lived through so many historical changes. In 1705 her husband Roger died. They had been married over forty years. Perhaps surprising to everyone Barbara married again, just months after Roger's death to Robert Fielding, another Catholic.  Fielding pursued her and soon enough began to fleece her. Discovering this she raged and he beat her. She charged him also of bigamy but the verdict was that the marriage was void. He got a pardon from Queen Anne. She was humiliated.

In August 1709, Barbara made her will and died within a few weeks of her sixty-ninth birthday. She had swelled with water (sometimes a symptom of cancer) and had finally lost her looks. 

As I survey the genealogy charts that appear on the Internet beginning with Barbara Villiers, I see that one of her daughters is said to have born at least eighteen children.  These days, I do wonder what DNA testing would prove.  Was her last child Churchill's, the King's? 

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BARBARA VILLIERS PREGNANCY CRISIS : A VOLATILE LADY GETS A KING TO BEG FORGIVENESS BUT HE HAS TAKEN UP WITH OTHER MISTRESSES : MOLL DAVIES, NELL GWYNN, AND LOUISE DE KEROUALLE

Was Barbara Villiers on the way out or King Charles II's favorite? Knowing she was living this controversy, Barbara decided to create a situation in which the King would be tested. The two of them did sometimes have a violent argument and this time, pregnant again, the issue was the paternity of the child she was - yet again - pregnant with. The King was having financial problems, his advisors had less influence on him that she did but he had not slept with Barbara in several months, but she insisted that he accept the child.

Excerpt page 105 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Somebody had said that the Countess of Castlemaine in one of her rages was less like Medea than one of Medea's dragons...

***

This time, based on the King's behavior and Barbara's, it seemed like they were breaking up for good. She left the Palace and stayed close by until the King came begging for forgiveness. Meanwhile Frances Stuart, who had married and was now Frances, Duchess of Richmond, came back to London with her husband and was rumored to be back as the mistress of the King.  And other women were being introduced to the King as others attempted to distract him and gain influence, among them actress Moll Davies, and actress Nell Gwynn.  He would also have a son by mistress Louise de Keroualle. Rumor had it, also that Barbara had fallen in love with another man.

Excerpt page 117 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Lady Castle Maine was not 'frightened' by her new rival. As always, she had come to terms with the situation, she accepted the fact that she must share the King's affection and remained calm. She saw to it that in spite of the new threat from the world of the there she still extracted the full measure of reward for the trouble she took in bearing the King's children..... gossamer Moll and Cockney Nell would never usurp the position that the shrewd and discerning Barbara had made for herself in the inner circles of government and power.

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RED RED ROSE

 

QUEEN CATHERINE and BARBARA VILLIERS MUST PUT UP WITH EACH OTHER ? SOON BOTH WIFE AND MISTRESS MUST ACCEPT YET ANOTHER MISTRESS : FRANCES STUART

Catherine of Braganza, the Queen, however arranged her marriage to King Charles II was, did hope that she and the King would love each other and have a good relationship. She didn't speak the language, was pretty but not a great beauty, and she had many adjustments to make to get alone. She could not be oblivious to the fact that the King was not spending much time with her and had a Mistress. However, it seems she warmed to him and fell in love with the King herself. Though she was a bit delicate, she took her responsibility to have children seriously. Realizing she had no friends, lonely, the Queen decided to be friendly with Barbara. The King meanwhile kept her close, having Barbara assigned to assist his wife as a Lady of the Bedchamber.

Excerpt page 55 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

The Chancellor and his friends made their greatest mistake in acknowledging the Lady's physical attractions but failing to recognize her intelligence, her instinctive knowledge of the workings of the Court, and her in bread ability to move at east in royal circles...  The Lady outclasses them all (the Kings other mistresses of short duration) in her power not only to capture the King's affection but also to dominate and manipulate his circle of friends.

***

1662: The King's advisors followed him to the house on King Street where the King had put Barbara. She entertained them all there with good conversation. It was politically and socially the best way for them to have his ear. But some found that she could also prevent them from speaking the King. Frances Stuart, a pretty young woman, was introduced to the King to divert his interest to another Mistress.

Excerpt page 68 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

... Shining by virtue of her own luminescence, she had become independent and selfish, and distressingly difficult to bribe.  Nor was it possible to prophesy how long she would keep her hold over the King. Her reign had already lasted longer than any Mistress could rightfully expect, and it had to be admitted that in the early summer of 1663 her looks had deteriorated....

***

However, not to be repressed, Barbara Villiers - Countess of Castlemaine, gave birth to a son, Henry, and a couple days later headed out to be with the King. The King did not accept paternity of this son immediately due to rumors that she had another lover. Aware that she might be loosing her position, Barbara did something to please her Catholic husband, Roger Palmer, and converted to Catholicism herself.  Was it possible she would have to live with him and spend the rest of her life with him?

1664: All three women had to get along, co-exist though rivals, and avoid being hostile openly with each other in order to please the King.  Barbara might have been aging and might have competition with other women and enemies among the men who sought to influence and advise the King on all things, but in September of that year, she gave birth again, her fourth child and second daughter and the King immediately accepted the baby as his offspring.  

Sadly, a little over a week later, Barbara once again determined to entertain the King and socialize and this time it was too much for her.

Excerpt page 79 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

... Her maid and her page, the only attendants who were with her,  helped her back to the Palace, and as soon as she reached her room she fainted.  The King was informed at once, and he showed his concern by the speed with which  he rushed to her apartments and his alacrity in ordering that all the Park gates should be closed and everyone inside arrested ... The incident proved that however great the Lady might become, she would always have her enemies ... But she soon recovered her full beauty and those who had so hopefully sponsored Frances (Stuart) were transferring their loyalty back to the Lady in the knowledge that it was at her evening gatherings they would spend their time most profitably.

***  

Three years into the King's relationship with Frances, Barbara won the more exclusive attention of the King, for neither Frances or his wife, the Queen, had become pregnant.

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JESSE JACKSON PASSED AWAY : KARIN STANFORD - A MISTRESS OF JACKSON, - WAS OUR MISTRESS OF THE MONTH IN MAY 2011!

There's some really interesting posts from way back in the day :  This was the start of May 2011, when I elected KARIN STANFORD as Mistress of the Month!  You can read that month by going into my archived posts: see the sidebar of this blog!  - Missy

Here's a redo of the initial post.

MISTRESS OF THE MONTH KARIN STANFORD :

HE WAS MARRIED WITH FIVE CHILDREN, 

SHE WAS 19 YEARS YOUNGER, 

HE'S PAYING $4000 a MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT

KARIN STANFORD is Mistress of the Month for May 2011!

She's Jesse Jackson (Sr.)'s ex, with whom he has a daughter, Ashley. Karin has gone after child support and been fairly quoted in the news, though she says it was the FEDS who outed them.

Jesse Jackson is one of those Christian Ministers who has a lifestyle that's barely conservative, a charismatic man, and one who had Presidential ambitions. It was he who counseled then President of the United States, Bill Clinton, when Bill got caught lying about Monica Lewinsky. It just may be that because of his affair with Karin, Jesse had to give up on a White House Future.

Karin says she has "no regrets," and thinks of their daughter as a miracle child, born in 2000. Karin started life over as a professor of Pan-African Studies and Politics - at California State College, Northridge, in Los Angeles California, and is the author of a book titled "Cancer Survivors, Breaking the Silence - Inspirational Stories of Black Cancer Survivors", as well as other books.

Like many modern mistresses, she is an educated woman, who could support herself well, without a man's help. Never the less, love and awe of a man, led her to being a mistress, at least for a time in her life. 

UPDATE AUGUST 2013: Karin, if we count hits only, is probably the most popular mistress I've written about. A recent comment about what would have happened if a CONSERVATIVE Public Figure had been involved with Karin intrigues me. As recent new information comes out about Monica Lewinsky and President William Clinton comes out, I think that in fact there have been many politicians linked with women other than their wives. Some of these mostly men are Republicans, some are Democrats. Some of these men have suffered for it, even if it only appeared they had an affair, or it was discovered they had many affairs, and some have fathered children in long term adultery. Consider Gary Hart. However, defining who is a mistress these days is complicated by the general lack of marriage, couples who lived together, people who have an alternative lifestyle such as living in deliberate polygamy or living with more than one lover all in the same household. I don't dwell on those who have affairs but not RELATIONSHIPS, and where there is a child there is usually a RELATIONSHIP.

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KING CHARLES II ASSURES THAT BARBARA VILLIERS - PALMER WILL NOT BE BANNISHED FROM COURT ONCE HE IS MARRIED BY GIVING HER HUSBAND - AND HER - TITLES : LADY CASTLEMAINE

Be it the Villiers of the Palmers, Barbara's family or her husband's family, they both saw Barbara's relationship with King Charles II as their best advocate with him.  She had a strong hold over the King, and there was a concern that, once married, she would be detached from the Court.

BOOK EXCERPT: pages 41-42 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

... The first step was to see that she was admitted to the ranks of the titled. The King was prepared to cooperate; he was just as anxious as anybody else to make sure that Barbara would have plenty of opportunity to frequent the Court after the arrival of the Queen....

***

The King reminded everyone that they were his servants and requested that Roger Palmer become an Irish Earl as well as the heirs of his (Roger's) body also.

Roger became Baron Limerick and Earl of Castlemaine.

...The long suffering Palmer was himself no longer under any illusions. Although he always regarded Anne as his own child, he know that he had lost his wife, gaining in return the earldom of a distant village in County Kerry, while as a small compensation his half-brother was granted a knighthood and appointment of Cupbearer to the King.... Roger Palmer did not assume his title for some while, knowing too well the price he had paid for it, and, to quote Clarendon, 'the brand of such a nobility'.  Clarendon, for his part, was more determined than ever to block the advancement of the woman he from now on never referred to except, with more than a touch of sarcasm, as 'the Lady'.

***

Barbara got her title because she was now married to the new Earl. At Court there were those who continued to favor Barbara while others awaited the new Queen to favor.

***

The Infanta set out from Lisbon in April 1661 and great preparations and celebrations were planned for her arrival, to make her welcome and comfortable. the now Lady Castlemaine was pregnant again and the King spent his time with her. The Infanta was no great beauty, though she was pretty, and her virtues and looks had been explained to the King.

Excerpt page 46 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

For a while the King 'carried things decently'. He remained at Hampton Court with his wife, and was so kind to her that she showed unmistakable signs of falling for the dark-countenanced man whose language she scarcely understood. Lady Castlemaine was left alone, waiting the birth of her child, and it was impossible for the King to visit her.  ...

***
The child was christened, first in the Catholic faith since Roger was Catholic, as Charles Palmer, Lord Limerick.  Days later another ceremony for the child had him christened in the Anglican faith. This second ceremony had Barbara and her husband, Roger, in a violent argument and she raged. Barbara would become famous for her rages. She left Roger, taking everything she could with her, leaving an empty house. A defeated Roger threaten to move to France and go into a monastery.

***

Missy here.  The Catholic faith and France play an important role in the life of Barbara and her children.  Barbara's husband, who felt sure the first child she gave birth to was his, was a Catholic convert and Barbara would eventually also convert.  This was at a time in history in which the Anglican Church, the official Church of England, had been established by Henry VIII, and so it was controversial to say the least.  It is said that on his deathbed the King also wished to be converted to Catholicism.

*** Clarendon was one of the King's advisors.  Other advisors and observers with opinions are mentioned in Elizabeth Hamilton's book.

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"TO HIS COY MISTRESS" : A LOVE POEM BY ANDREW MARVELL - ENGLAND 1681

"TO HIS COY MISTRESS" : A LOVE POEM BY ANDREW MARVELL - ENGLAND 1681

Had we but world enough and time,

This coyness, lady, were no crime.

We would sit down, and think which way

To walk, and pass our long love’s day.

Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side

Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide

Of Humber would complain. I would

Love you ten years before the flood,

And you should, if you please, refuse

Till the conversion of the Jews.

My vegetable love should grow

Vaster than empires and more slow;

An hundred years should go to praise

Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;

Two hundred to adore each breast,

But thirty thousand to the rest;

An age at least to every part,

And the last age should show your heart.

For, lady, you deserve this state,

Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear

Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near;

And yonder all before us lie

Deserts of vast eternity.

Thy beauty shall no more be found;

Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound

My echoing song; then worms shall try

That long-preserved virginity,

And your quaint honour turn to dust,

And into ashes all my lust;

The grave’s a fine and private place,

But none, I think, do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue

Sits on thy skin like morning dew,

And while thy willing soul transpires

At every pore with instant fires,

Now let us sport us while we may,

And now, like amorous birds of prey,

Rather at once our time devour

Than languish in his slow-chapped power

Let us roll all our strength and all

Our sweetness up into one ball,

And tear our pleasures with rough strife

Through the iron gates of life:

Thus, though we cannot make our sun

Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Missy here!

The term Mistress was used the way we use the term 'girlfriend' 

and didn't necessarily mean a woman who was kept, or even a lover - though possible.

Simply the woman this poem was written for was not the man's lawfully wedded wife.

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FOR YOU

 

BARBARA VILLIERS - PALMER BECOMES THE ACKNOWLEDGED MISTRESS OF KING CHARLES II : THE KING CONTINUES TO PARTY AND AWAITS CATHERINE OF BRAGANZA, THE PORTUGUESE INFANTA TO WED

1660: King Charles II was restored as King of England. The festivities continued. Barbara and Roger Palmer entertained, while more than one man vied to have her in his bed. Though a decade or so of exile had visibly aged the King, he still had energy and liked a good time - dinners, theater, boat races, tennis. Barbara's family considered her success with the King to be good for their family. The King's marriage to Catholic Catherine of Braganza, the Portuguese Infanta, who would bring 500,000 pounds cash as well as the ownership of important towns for trade in the Caribbean and Mediterranean, was being arranged. The Spanish were against it and the French for it, but in the end the King married the woman who had first been proposed as his bride when she was only six years old. However...

In February 1661, Barbara Villiers- Palmer gave birth to her first child, a daughter, Anne, and some people thought it was her lover who was the father. Roger Palmer, her husband, was happy to acknowledge the child as his. Several months later, Barbara became the acknowledged mistress of King Charles II. Then, a second birth:

Excerpt page 40 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

...There had been rumors as far back as the summer of 166-1 that Mrs. Palmer was with child, and in the new year of 1992 the truth had become all too apparent.  It was also clear that the unfortunate Roger had become a husband only in name. In spite of the fact that negotiations for his marriage had gone ahead, the King showed no signs of overcoming his infatuation. Most people were beginning to accept the fact that his levity was more than a veneer of youthful high spirits, and it was significant that when he was described in a collect for the Parliament as 'our most religious King.' the phrase caused a ripple of amusement.  Clarendon might have gone on hoping, against all the evidence, that the King would in the end extricate himself from his youthful companions and self-indulgent way of life, even if the change of heart was slow in coming.  There was still a last chance that a good wife might be able to work the miracle; one encouraging rumor had it that when his mistress asked him what he expected her to do on the arrival of the Queen, he replied, 'You must stick to your husband as I 8ntend to stick to my wife.'  While the reset of the world waited, fearful or fascinated, to see what effect the arrival of the Portuguese Infanta would have on the King's relationship with Barbara Palmer, Clarendon worked diligently to prevent her from upsurging Catherine's position in advance...

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BARBARA VILLIERS MARRIED ROGER PALMER BUT SMALLPOX HAD EVERTHING TO DO WITH HOW SHE MET KING CHARLES II

In the spring of 1659, Charles II had spent a decade in exile in Brussels, and the Royalists who supported him were working to bring him back to England and power. He and his courtiers were searching for a proper marriage alliance for him and he was not yet married.

Young Barbara Villiers was courted by Royalist Roger Palmer, who had a modest inheritance but was educated at Eton and Cambridge and considered to be of good character and steady. Palmer was excellent choice for a young woman of lesser expectations. In April 1659, when he was twenty-four and she was eighteen, they married in church. Barbara's family was against this marriage because Roger and his family were Catholics. His father was also against the marriage. He had warned Roger that Barbara would not be faithful to him. His father was right. She continued to love and be the lover of the man who had first stolen her heart. But soon that man would flee to France and she would be sent to Brussels.

She had become ill with smallpox.  Luckily she survived it and without the disfigurement that often resulted. It was understood that a survivor of smallpox had immunity.

Excerpts Pages 23 -24 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

The King's Court was now at Brussels, and in the spring of 1660 there was a virulent outbreak of smallpox in Flanders, so that it was important to choose messengers from England who had already had the disease.  But it was becoming increasingly difficult to find Royalists who were free to ross the Channel, for many of them were working hard for the Kings cause (to return to England) and others, like Roger Palmer, had immersed themselves in the forthcoming elections in the hope of achieving a Parliament loyal to the Crown....

...The trusting Roger may have appreciated the advantages of sending a member of the family to the exiled Court, but in spite of all the warnings he had been given he apparently failed to foresee just how much success his wife was likely to achieve.  Nothing definite is known about the steps that were taken to convey Barbara Palmer to the Continent, or what were the real reasons for the decision, but it is generally agreed that she did visit the King, and that he succumbed to her charms without undue delay  He was by now something of a connoisseur of female beauty. He had been credited with sixteen mistress, an estimate which he himself modestly disclaimed, although flattered that he was thought capable of such a total.  Nobody disputed the fact that Barbara was beautiful, and it was equally certain that she was no longer innocent, for she had been schooled int he world of royalist society where nobody thought too much about the future of worried themselves unduly about the consequences of their own actions.

... King or not, Charles II was attractive enough to conquer a woman in his own right.  Tall and very dark, with an amenable disposition and humorous outlook on life, he seemed to possess an unlimited capacity for enjoyment....

***

The King had several known mistresses, short relationships if they were that, and only Lucy Walter, who had a son with the King, refused to be sent away.  In the summer of 1659 King Charles II did return to England. Roger Palmer had the King's favor, for he had made loans to the King, and had returned to Parliament. It was necessary that he live nearby - for now.

Excerpt page 27

...The route from Canterbury had been lined with people and strewn with flowers, 'like one continues street wonderfully inhabited'. As the King rose over London Bridge, bare heard, church bells rang, trumpets sounded and there was music, publicly played for the first time for years. The enthusiasm of the crowed was likened to the joy of emancipated slaves. It seemed as if the age of austerity was over; the streets were hung with tapestry, the fountains ran with wine....

***

It is said that Barbara lost no time in bedding the King.

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ARMS OF BARBARA VILLIERS : ONLY DAUGHTER OF WILLIAM VILLIERS - 2ND VISCOUNT GRANDISON

Image from Wikipedia

FAST LIVING HIGH BORN (BUT BROKE) ROYALISTS : YOUNG BARBARA VILLIERS

 Book Excerpts: Page 9-10 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

For the younger members of royalist society there was little to do except to snatch what pleasure was available to them. Unless they were involved in the cloak-and-dagger world of the underground movement, with its ciphers and secret letters hidden under floorboards and in the linings of hatbands, they could find little better occupations than carousing and falling in love. The uncertainty of the future seemed to lend an urgency to their self-indulgence. King Charles I had encouraged his courtiers to be chivalrous and dignified, and there had been more than a tinge of puritanism in his attitude.  By contrast the children of his courtiers were rebating not only against the severe oral climate of the fifties, but also against the pallid philosophy of their fathers. In this, King Charles II and his childhood friend, the 2nd Duke of Buckingham, were typical of their generation...  

Bereft of a career at court or in public service of any kind, the new generation of Royalists sought consolation in the close companionship that often springs up among those who find themselves out of favor with the current government.  Barbara Villiers found plenty of other girls in a similar situation to her own. There were the four daughters of the Duke of Hamilton who like Barbara's father had died as the result of a wound sustained in the King's service, and the eldest, Lady Anne, became one of Barbara's closest friend. Lady Elizabeth Howard, a niece of Barbara's uncle-in-law the Earl of Suffolk, was another member of the fast-living set which attracted all the high-born pleasure-seekers. Barbara herself, by the virtue of her birth and background, was inevitably drawn towards the wilder fringes of royalist society. It was soon clear that she had not inherited her father's exemplary character though she was amply endowed with the Villiers' beauty. In later years it was said that from her earliest childhood she had shown signs of an unusual lasciviousness and whether this was true of not, she certainly began to attract the attention of 'divers young gentleman of the town' soon after her arrival in London. She possessed the same kind of magnetism as her cousin the 2nd Duke of Buckingham, of whom it was said that 'if he did nut cross a room, all eyes were turned to follow him'. In addition she was as striking as the Duke's younger brother Francis, who had been judged a youth of 'rare beauty and comeliness of person'. She was to be described on more than one occasion as the finest woman of her age, with her auburn hair, her voluptuous figure and her dark blue eyes. The 1st Duke of Buckingham's eyes, which were of a similar color, have been described as 'the dark blue eves of the highly -sexed."

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READY

 

BARBARA VILLIERS - PALMER : 1ST COUNTESS OF CASTLEMAINE and DUCHESS OF CLEVELAND : THE UNCROWNED QUEEN OF ENGLISH KING CHARLES II : 1660-1670 : FIVE CHILDREN WITH THE KING

BARBARA VILLIERS - COUNTESS OF CASTLEMAINE and DUCHESS OF CLEVELAND 

1640 - 1709

This month I've elected Barbara Villiers to our list of Royal Mistresses. Barbara, who lived in 17th century England, had many admirers in her lifetime and she was apparently aware of her beauty as a young enchantress and suffered the reputation of being a 'whore.' She became, significantly, the favorite of King Charles II for a decade or more, and for a time had such influence over him that she was called 'The Uncrowned Queen" or, said, with some sarcasm, "The Lady." Not married at the time that he began his relationship with Barbara, the King did marry Catherine of Braganza, of Portugal. The pretty but dull new Queen, who brought significant wealth and political alliances with her, tried to turn her arranged marriage into a true love match but failed.. He married her about the same time that Barbara was in advanced pregnancy with her second child, with unchallenged paternity by the King. But then, Barbara likely had an involvement before her marriage. In fact, she might have become the mistress of the King before she was married.

Born in 1640, about the time that the English Civil War, Barbara Villiers' noble family, who made their fortune in sheep, became impoverished because of it. Her family had been ennobled and associated with King Charles I before she was born. They were Royalists and it would take some time for the King Charles II to regain power. By the time she was of marriageable age, Barbara had few good marriage prospects and was just one more young Royalist woman, pretty but penniless, who liked to party and had a light hearted attitude towards life. Her first love, a young widower, an Earl, dumped her to marry a rich woman and so it went. But then she did marry, at the age of 19, to Roger Palmer, a Catholic who her family didn't approve of. What could her husband do about her involvement with the King? Not much. So began her career as an important mistress of the King and mother.

The King was savvy. He made Barbara Villiers - Palmer's husband Baron Limerick the Earl of Castlemaine in 1661, thus giving Barbara Palmer the title of 1st Countess of Castlemaine. After she gave birth to a son by the King, Barbara and Roger officially separated but stayed married. All five of the children she had by the King in their decade of relationship would be assumed - by some - to be her husband's offspring. (To this day there is some dispute over it.) The titles would have to be passed down only to Roger's heirs ; Barbara's  relationship with the King and these children were not so secret, for the three middle children were also given the name FitzRoy, meaning Illegitimate Royal offspring. In this way, however, Roger Palmer could save face if he needed to and the children would have the financial support needed to raise them. The titles were for Ireland and it was there that Palmer would need to go. Roger Palmer was never known to have a child and, frankly, I do wonder if he knew he was being married to Barbara for practical reasons all along.

She gave birth to Anne in 1661, Charles in 1662, Henry in 1663, George in 1665, and Barbara in 1672. Barbara is the child who there is the strongest suggestion of having yet another birth father. But Barbara, in a volatile argument with the King, demanded that he recognize and support this child too.

What was true?  First that more than one man claimed children with her, suggesting that Barbara had many paramours over the years, men in love enough with her to state that a child she gave birth to was theirs, meaning they would want to support that child and see him or her as an heir.

All these hundreds of years later, her descendants include some prominent British people you have heard of ***; Princess Diana and her children, Prince William and Prince Harry through her son, Henry FitzRoy, 1st Duke of Grafton and Sarah Ferguson, until recently the Duchess of York, through Barbara's daughter, Lady Anne Palmer, later FitzRoy.  (Lady Anne became the Duchess of Sussex!)

The King took other mistresses through the years and is said to have had twelve children, maybe fourteen, with all of them. His wife, the Queen, had three miscarriages and never did give him an heir.

*** This genealogy information culled from Wikipedia.

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LOVELY LADY

 

S.O.A.R. SPEAK OUT-ACT-RECLAIM : FOUNDED BY VIRGINIA GIUFFRE

SPEAK OUT -ACT - RECLAIM  Virginia Roberts Giuffre was the founder of this non-profit.

"I do this for victims everywhere.  I am no longer the young and vulnerable girl who could be bullied.  I am now a survivor, and nobody can ever take that away from me." - Virginia Giuffre

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GROOMING : WHAT IS BEING GROOMED? YOU'RE NOT BEING DATED, YOU'RE BEING HUNTED

 

Virginia Guiffre is the most famous woman to speak out about her history of being sex trafficked and how it badly effected her emotions and thinking and changed her life. She struggled so valiantly. However, there are many other women, and some men, who have, both against Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and against other people, spoken out. You can find many of them on YouTube videos. Though some were abducted, many of them were groomed slowly but surely, only to find themselves living in horror.  

What is grooming? Don't feel bad if you've never heard that term because some people who have been groomed and sex trafficked didn't know those terms! It is a process, which can happen slowly or suddenly, in which a person who is an opportunist and user, a predator, and intends to sex traffic or prostitute you tries to make you comfortable with the idea of having sex with him and then strangers, perhaps first by pretending to love you, perhaps starting with being sexual with you in an OK way - but possibly by even assaulting you or abusing you, and/or buys you things but them expects you to 'pay back' by having sex with other people.

A pedophile is a person who is interested in having sex with others who are under the legal age, sometimes too young to even physically safely have sex. (Having your period is not evidence that your body is ready for sex or pregnancy or giving birth.)

If you would like to hear real women testify as to how it is they were groomed and sex trafficked I strongly suggest the YouTube station called SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY.

YOUTUBE STATION : SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY Uncensored videos.  Look for Kat and Karla. About being brain washed - breaking you down and turning you into what they want you to be. (A warning on these adult videos, as they may upset you terribly.)

So, I thought about it. Had anyone ever tried to groom me when I was a teen?

I think so, though it didn't go far. 

This was a man who was in his late thirties and married. He mentioned one of my friends was their babysitter and that she was his wife's "best friend." He told me about a man friend of his who was having sex with a young woman about my age. I guess he was trying to get a reaction. What did I think about that? I don't recall having an opinion to express. He mentioned being attracted to other girls and that he had kissed one of them - a girl from my school. One day he threw himself on top of me and shoved his tongue into my mouth. It was not sexy and didn't feel good. I also didn't feel afraid. Other people could have walked in at any minute, so as an adult woman I wonder why he would take such a risk. I didn't go home and tell my mother. I should have but I have to wonder what, if anything, she would have done about it. I wasn't complimented. I didn't seek him out. I have to say that I was so naive at the time, I wasn't suspicious. I didn't understand what was going on.

The thing that bothered me most at the time was that he seemed extremely interested in who among my friends was having sex. Some were, with their boyfriends who were age appropriate. 

 

POLARIS PROJECT: HOW TRAFFICKERS GROOM AND CONTROL 

END SLAVERY NOW : GROOMING FOR SEXUAL EXPLOITATION

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