A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME

 

LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH PASSED AT AGE 91 : A VERY FULL LIFE

Here are some obituaries about Lady Annabel Goldsmith that are quite interesting including photographs. 

BBC NEWS : LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH DIES AT 91

Excerpt: Her youngest child Ben said she was "quite simply irreplaceable".

He added: "We are bereft, not for her – because her life has been extraordinary and complete - but for us, because of the immense hole in our lives she leaves behind."

Mr. Goldsmith said: "I spoke to her every day for 45 years, she truly had my back and we loved each other very much. I will miss her terribly."

THE GUARDIAN : LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH OBITUARY

Excerpt: Goldsmith, who has died aged 91, was herself a celebrity, accessible to journalists and happy to explain about the men in her life at a time when talking openly about being a mistress was still vaguely scandalous. Having married Birley as a teenager in 1954, she began a relationship with the financier Sir James Goldsmith 10 years later, having discovered that her first husband was a serial adulterer – as, it turned out, was her second.

By the time they married in 1978, she had two children with him and would go on to have a third, to add to three with Birley. He then embarked on further affairs, and remarked: “If you marry your mistress, you create a vacancy.”

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CLOVER

 

ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE : READ HER BOOK ON INTERNET ARCHIVE

INTERNET ARCHIVE : ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE 

You can open an account and read page by page.

After checking three libraries that I hold cards with, as well as Google Books and Project Gutenberg, finally I found a copy of Annabel: An Unconventional Life, which came out about 2004 to share with you! I read cover to cover so long ago!  The photo on this edition shows Annabel as a young, smart women who liked to go clubbing, but other editions have a photo of Annabel, also from youth, in which she appears far more innocent!

You can read about her childhood, her debutante days, and page 173 starts the chapter Meeting Jimmy, as in Sir James Goldsmith, to whom she was first the Mistress of, and then a Wife. With him she had a second family. Jemima was born in 1974 when Annabel was 34 years old, Zac in 1975, when she was 35, and Ben, when she was 40...  This was a second serious relationship for Annabel, who already had three children with her first husband, Mark Birley. James Goldsmith wanted children with her. A friend of his told her the truth, that he was getting bored and wanted them. But she was still married to Mark Birley and was Goldsmith's mistress. Eventually they did marry, but then Goldsmith found another Mistress who lived in New York!

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LADY ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH : MOTHER OF SIX GREAT CHILDREN : POSH AND WITH PURPOSE : ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRITISH ARISTOCRATIC MISTRESSES OF CONTEMPORARY TIMES

Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise. 

In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever. 

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress,

 but not a very good wife." - Lady Annabel

LADY ANNABEL (VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART) BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

1934 - 2025

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.

In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.

Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.

She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***

Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.

What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.

Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.'  Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.

Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.

This month we'll celebrate Lady Annabel for her intelligence and sophistication, and for all the love she gave.

*** A version of this post was originally posted November 5 2009 in the very beginnings of this blog, Mistress Manifesto. 

*** Information on Lady Annabel's volunteer work and philanthropy is from Google AI.

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You may also be interested in:

May 2012           

LORD BATH (the Loins of Longleat)

and his Many Mistresses (He calls them "Wifelets"!)

READY

 

LOVELY LADY

 

LOOKING FORWARD TO 2026!

 

Yes, my friends, I do plan to keep blogging here at Mistress Manifesto!  

In the past I may have mentioned how I decide on subjects, how I elect a person to my pantheon of Mistresses of the Month and so on. In general, I rarely have many months ahead planned. I go along - organically - and sometimes the inspiration to seek out information about a certain person comes out of nowhere! A book picked up at a garage sale, for instance!

Well, I'm open to your suggestions, particularly if you've read a book that you think I should read. Leave me a comment with a link and I'll consider it!

There have been times when I cancelled an entire month and substituted another subject, and since one of my friends asked me why I will tell you:  I know my readers desire to know more about the very modern, contemporary, Mistress, especially Classic Mistresses, but when I find out that a particular person has children who have not established themselves in adulthood, I hesitate. 

As you read this, I have three months of Mistress Manifesto, read, researched, written, though not yet posted. I truly hope you will come back here and follow the narrative!

Happy Days Ahead!

Missy

DANIELLE STEEL'S THE MISTRESS : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

I "read" the book by listening to it and about half way through, I couldn't take it anymore. This New York Times best seller listed book is so dependent on stereotypes I was so very disappointed.

Though set in and around Monaco (one of the best places on earth for mistresses, my opinion), and the reality of Russian billionaires with gorgeous young women as Mistresses, unfortunately, while profiling a Classic Mistress as isolated, friendless, spoiled and pampered with unlimited shopping trips, but always servile, in wait, with very little to decide about her life on her own, the author, who has experienced numerous best seller love stories, clearly writes this young, beautiful, appealing, and pleasing young woman as having to run out of her prison of being Kept, by perhaps being seduced by a wealthy by most people's standards but much less wealthy by the one's she's become accustomed to. Can she be less materialistic because the young, more age appropriate man who is taken with her has just dumped his girlfriend - who comes from no money - for being too materialistic and expecting him to support her!  (She's realistic but he hates her for that.)

Sensitive to the nuances due to close listening, I was aware that Steel drops hints that sometimes the Russian billionaire is also commanding and a little rough with his mistress sexually. She provides motivation for the beautiful young woman to leave her man.

Being a Mistress is one of the greatest literary fantasies there is, dozens of books being written about the lifestyle, so you have to wonder who is reading these books and having Mistress fantasies?

Are they women who are bored of but believing in their marriages?  Are these readers the same people who think in real life Mistresses are horrible people - women who live to get other women's husbands?

So here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, you have the opportunity to read all around Mistresses - the motivations, the reasons why, the failures and the successes, and you can "try on" if it's a lifestyle for YOU by learning about Kept Women and Men who actually lived the life!

Will you style yourself after "Coutesan of the 20th Century" Pamela Digby Churchill Harriman or  Revolutionary Dancer Isadora Duncan? Liberace's "BoyToy" Scott Thorson or ex Beatle John Lennon's May Fung Yee Pang?

C 2019 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

TO MY DEVOTED MISTRESS MANIFESTO READERS!

I'll be publishing posts for November 2018 starting tomorrow.  I'll be splitting the month by first revisiting one of the Kept Men I covered a few years ago and then move into FASHION oriented six weeks into the New Year with an Honorary Mistress of the Month for December! 

What a fast paced year this 2018 has been, and as has happened before, just when I wonder if I'm going to run out of Mistresses and Mantresses to cover, I hear about more!   Do you know of a Kept Man or Woman I should be covering?  Are you a Kept Man or Woman? Please leave a comment with that information!  Books, links, etc. would be appreciated.

I encourage you to go through my archives to find so very many Kept people who have been covered over the years; I reworked the GUIDE in PAGES so it should be easy for you to scan through!

THANK YOU FOR READING MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT!

VICKI MORGAN on RICH MEN, THEIR WIVES, and MISTRESSES LIKE HER A VANISHING BREED

From BEAUTIFUL BAD GIRL by Gorden Basichis

Page 32  (Alfred has died and she has begun to work on her memoir with Basichis.)

Vicki thinks rich men marry women to perpetuate the family and that these wives have charities to keep them busy, while the men hang out with each other.  About the men

"A few of the braver souls will keep a mistress like Alfred did.  Only Alfred gave me the kind of money the rest don't even dream of.  I'm the last of the breed.  Alfred saw to it.  There's only four - five other women that I know of - even heard of - who get the kind of money that I got from Alfred.

Page 52  NOTES Alfred's seduction of Vicki into mistresshood.  She has already participated in S and M sex scenes with him and hookers.

He told her that she was special. 
"Any man can see it, but I'm the one to bring it out.  Vicki, do you know what a mistress is?

He "patiently" defined the role of a mistress.  He explained that she was like a second wife to a man and that she was always taken care of.  There was security and longevity, far often the relationship between a man and his mistress lasted longer than his marriage.  There was passion and caring, a home away from home.

Alfred told Vicki to forget her husband.  "You have nothing to worry about for the rest of your life."  He also promises that she does not have to do the S and M, if there is anything she doesn't like.

Page 60 
EXCERPT
"Vicki was quite adept at these transitions, having learned from years of avoiding embarrassing questions regarding the source of her apparent wealth.  She believed it was to her advantage that no one ever knew everything.  From Alfred she learned to avoid being pinpointed.  From her own experiences she thought too much explanation was senseless since she'd never be fully understood.  So to protect herself, Vicki kept many things secret and ommitt4ed portions of others so that what she did reveal was imparted through selected vignettes.