MYTHS ABOUT MISTRESSES THAT NEED TO BE BUSTED

MYTHS ABOUT MISTRESSES THAT NEED TO BE BUSTED

You've seen the articles and books that would have it that EVERY MISTRESS IS THE SAME and, well, yes some women are going to fit these "truisms." If you're a mistress or are becoming a mistress, you'll have to think about these notions and self assess honesty to decide if they fit you. But let's challenge a bit.

POSSIBLE MYTHS

1) YOU DO AND SHOULD FEEL GUILT about him spending time with you instead of his wife and/or children. All sorts of things trigger that guilt (such as moralistic films.) The exception  to being guilty is that she cannot be guilty because she doesn't know he's married so she does not know she's a mistress.

2) SHE DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE A MISTRESS, it just happened, as the result of a fling or affair.

3) SHE'S JEALOUS of HIS WIFE and the public approval and attention she gets because she wants to be the wife.

4) SHE KNOWS SHE MADE A MISTAKE and HE IS MR. WRONG (because he is married) but stays in the relationship anyway because she is emotionally attached to him. She makes excuses for him.

5) SHE SEES A FUTURE WITH THE MAN. Even if years go by, she is in waiting to be the next Mrs.

All of these assumptions suggest a woman is not in control of her life and doesn't have a choice or make decisions.

HERE IS WHY NOT:

1) He does not have to be married at all (or in any serious committed relationship) in order to have a mistress. Adultery is often defined as a married person cheating. She herself may not be married and therefore may not be committing adultery.

2) She may not want to be married to him or married at all at this time or any time in her life. 

3) She may have good reasons to think he is Mr. Right, or at the very least better than any man she has met before or is meeting currently.

4) She may value her own time, her own other relationships including friends, her own career, her own freedom to travel.

5) He may not have children, she may not have children, or the children are grown or independent.

6) He may be going through a divorce, be legally separated, and she may not be the cause of it.

7) She may understand that he does not want to marry (or have children) again.

Further:

1) He may not have been seeking a mistress but find himself having one.

2) His wife may know - and approve, even encourage him, for her own reasons, to be with another woman.

3) Some people "with eyes open" choose to be in a romantic triad.

Missy

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LIDA BAAROVA - MISTRESS OF NAZI JOSEPH GOEBBELS WHO PAID THE PRICE FOR ASSOCIATING WITH NAZIS

LUDMILLA BABKOVA / LIDA BAAROVA 
(1914- 2000)


Image from World War II Gravestones

MISTRESS OF THE MONTH

When it comes to the Nazi's and the Holocaust it's easy with hindsight to condemn the women who became Mistresses to men who were Nazi's and to imagine they were (also) evil incarnate and deserving of horrible punishing fates.  It's easy to think that they were ruined since they were on the loosing side of World War II.

Lida Baarova, as Ludmilla Babkova was known as an actress, was Czech - Slavic. Lida had a difficult life overall especially because her career was harmed by her involvement with one of the Nazi's finest, but she was a successful actress - her talent and beauty were never doubted but her politics was - and she lived a very long time into the year 2000.  Her amazing filmography of over 60 films from 1931-1970 proves that she survived past her disastrous personal affairs and a honorable or dishonorable  (depending on whose side you were on back in the day) experience of being Nazi Joseph Goebbels's mistress.  In her later years she denied they had ever had sex but the affair was one to remember for many others.

You've heard of Joseph Goebbels and his wife Magda and their many children; he and his wife poisoned their children and then themselves in the very same bunker where Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, his Mistress and last minute wife, would also kill themselves.

Joseph Goebbels' life certainly went into a surprising direction. Born into a Catholic family, he considered being a priest at one time but backed away from the church as his Naziism prevailed. He was a very intelligent man and earned a Masters degree and then a Ph.D.  Physically he wasn't much. He was also known for the deformity of a right foot that turned in and made him walk with a limp.  This was the kind of physical deformity that made so many others undesirable for the idealized perfection of the Nazi's who were excessively interested in genetics. He was a Reich Minister of Propaganda of Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945 and held other positions in Germany working for the Nazi party and Adolf Hitler, considered by some to be his right hand man. He was a public speaker. He was a womanizer. He became anti-semitism personified.

What could he have been thinking when he invited a famous Czech actress to move to Germany and make films with a neo-German sensibility?


Actress  Tatiana Pahofova, a Slovak, acted as Lida in the fictive film.

I first heard about Lida over the New Year holiday.  I reveled in being entirely alone for a few days and I binged on Netflix.  I came across a film called The Devil's Mistress - Lida Baarova - which was quite dramatic and interesting but also condemning.  I wish the film had a different title ; it sounded to be a horror flick, a genre I don't watch. The film came out in 2016 and the set up is as as a interview or confession.  It became the prime reference point for this month's posts.  Then I started reading around the Internet and watching YouTube videos about Lida, who is portrayed in the film as without apology.  This month's posts will link to a number of articles and videos.

FIrst of all, as I watched this film, which is not a biography,  I felt an inner tension. The question I had was left unanswered by the film was "Did Lida make films in Germany to survive?" She was a Slavic person  - as Czech's are - and at the time lived in a country that was part of the Austrian empire.  As any Holocaust historian will tell you, the Jews were just the first ethnic group the Nazi's wanted to destroy. They hated Slavic people too.  Many Slavs were killed during the occupation of their countries. The Nazi's hated Catholics ; priests and nuns were rounded up. A Nazi had to prove there was no Jewish blood in him, though these days some genealogists say Hitler himself was probably part Jewish. Eva Braun, Hitler's mistress  (Mistress of the Month June 2010) had been mocked as "Ewa" - the Polish way of spelling and pronouncing Eva, when there were suspicions that she was a bit Slavic. The film doesn't suggest that Lida might have decided to do as Hitler wanted or Goebbels wanted so she herself could survive. In this film Lida Baarova is portrayed as having no guilt.

Born in 1914, Lida was only 20 and not aware of what was happening in Germany when she had her first emotional love affair with a man.  She had a serious relationship with a German, and fellow actor Gustav Frohlich, her costar in the Film Barcole in 1935. They lived a couple doors down from Goebbels according to one account. Astonishing for the time and place, they were not legally married.  As he was married, she was first a mistress to him.

In the film The Devil's Mistress she is portrayed as having a family who were supportive of her career.  She first wanted to be a ballerina.  Her mother was an opera singer.

There are very many accounts of Lida's life and it gets confusing to sort out, especially as her own memory may have been edited.  I will try to synthesize these accounts knowing that Lida was aware of how propaganda was supposed to work.

Hitler came to visit the studio in Austria and noticed her.

"Liduska" had an accent and was unable to pronounce unaccented German though she was expected to and studied the language but she was strikingly beautiful and - strangely - is supposed to have been the Nazi ideal of beauty - but in my opinion has the Slavic look of certain of my friends.  She moved to Berlin and began to make films for that audience - propaganda films.  It was considered a career move. Hollywood would have been a better move but it's said that she refused offers and lived to regret not becoming as big as Marlene Dietrich.  So though she was established as an actress her German film making made her unpopular in her own country as she was seen as working for the enemy.

Goebbels was at the time of their relationship the Nazi Party's Reich Minister of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda.  The relationship happened fast, from when they met in September of 1936 to August 1938.  She lived to regret it and her own country never forgave her.  Was she simply nieve?  Propelled by lust?

Magda Goebbels, the wife of Joseph, was considered a role model for German women as a wife and mother and she had a reputation to uphold. Knowing of the affair with Lida, she went to Hitler and told him she wanted the affair to end.  Since Goebbels was a womanizer, Lida was not the first or last threat to Magda's marriage. Perhaps the relationship between Lida and Joseph was the most intense and serious, the biggest threat to Magda's marriage to that point. Magda reportedly also had affairs.  As evidence for the seriousness of their relationship, Goebbels attempted to have Lida move in with him at his villa.

Hitler, who Lida says never liked the involvement she had with Goebbels, insisted that Goebbels break with Lida rather than leave his wife for her. He did and some reports suggest he considered suicide. That left Lida in a horrible place to be in; She ran home to Czechoslovakia, where she was hated, and again, maybe it's that Hitler banished her and her films, and then in 1943 went to Rome.  She worked on films with  Italian film directors Antonio de Sica and Federico Fellini.  But in 1945 American troops arrested her as a Gestapo spy.

Lida Baarova managed to marry again and again.  After the war, in 1947, she married Jan Kopecky and stayed married to him till they divorced in 1956.  In 1969 she married Kurt Lundvall, who died in 1972.  She had Parkinson's disease but lived until 2000, age 86.


Please note the following :

You may use the search feature embedded in this Google Blogger to locate other Nazi Mistresses within this blog.  June 2018 -  CO CV CHANEL - NAZI and SPY or SOCIETY WOMAN IN LOVE.  Nov 2017 the Mistresses of Shindler (of Schindler's List)

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DANIELLE STEEL'S THE MISTRESS : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

I "read" the book by listening to it and about half way through, I couldn't take it anymore. This New York Times best seller listed book is so dependent on stereotypes I was so very disappointed.

Though set in and around Monaco (one of the best places on earth for mistresses, my opinion), and the reality of Russian billionaires with gorgeous young women as Mistresses, unfortunately, while profiling a Classic Mistress as isolated, friendless, spoiled and pampered with unlimited shopping trips, but always servile, in wait, with very little to decide about her life on her own, the author, who has experienced numerous best seller love stories, clearly writes this young, beautiful, appealing, and pleasing young woman as having to run out of her prison of being Kept, by perhaps being seduced by a wealthy by most people's standards but much less wealthy by the one's she's become accustomed to. Can she be less materialistic because the young, more age appropriate man who is taken with her has just dumped his girlfriend - who comes from no money - for being too materialistic and expecting him to support her!  (She's realistic but he hates her for that.)

Sensitive to the nuances due to close listening, I was aware that Steel drops hints that sometimes the Russian billionaire is also commanding and a little rough with his mistress sexually. She provides motivation for the beautiful young woman to leave her man.

Being a Mistress is one of the greatest literary fantasies there is, dozens of books being written about the lifestyle, so you have to wonder who is reading these books and having Mistress fantasies?

Are they women who are bored of but believing in their marriages?  Are these readers the same people who think in real life Mistresses are horrible people - women who live to get other women's husbands?

So here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, you have the opportunity to read all around Mistresses - the motivations, the reasons why, the failures and the successes, and you can "try on" if it's a lifestyle for YOU by learning about Kept Women and Men who actually lived the life!

Will you style yourself after "Coutesan of the 20th Century" Pamela Digby Churchill Harriman or  Revolutionary Dancer Isadora Duncan? Liberace's "BoyToy" Scott Thorson or ex Beatle John Lennon's May Fung Yee Pang?

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