MYTHS ABOUT MISTRESSES THAT NEED TO BE BUSTED

MYTHS ABOUT MISTRESSES THAT NEED TO BE BUSTED

You've seen the articles and books that would have it that EVERY MISTRESS IS THE SAME and, well, yes some women are going to fit these "truisms." If you're a mistress or are becoming a mistress, you'll have to think about these notions and self assess honesty to decide if they fit you. But let's challenge a bit.

POSSIBLE MYTHS

1) YOU DO AND SHOULD FEEL GUILT about him spending time with you instead of his wife and/or children. All sorts of things trigger that guilt (such as moralistic films.) The exception  to being guilty is that she cannot be guilty because she doesn't know he's married so she does not know she's a mistress.

2) SHE DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE A MISTRESS, it just happened, as the result of a fling or affair.

3) SHE'S JEALOUS of HIS WIFE and the public approval and attention she gets because she wants to be the wife.

4) SHE KNOWS SHE MADE A MISTAKE and HE IS MR. WRONG (because he is married) but stays in the relationship anyway because she is emotionally attached to him. She makes excuses for him.

5) SHE SEES A FUTURE WITH THE MAN. Even if years go by, she is in waiting to be the next Mrs.

All of these assumptions suggest a woman is not in control of her life and doesn't have a choice or make decisions.

HERE IS WHY NOT:

1) He does not have to be married at all (or in any serious committed relationship) in order to have a mistress. Adultery is often defined as a married person cheating. She herself may not be married and therefore may not be committing adultery.

2) She may not want to be married to him or married at all at this time or any time in her life. 

3) She may have good reasons to think he is Mr. Right, or at the very least better than any man she has met before or is meeting currently.

4) She may value her own time, her own other relationships including friends, her own career, her own freedom to travel.

5) He may not have children, she may not have children, or the children are grown or independent.

6) He may be going through a divorce, be legally separated, and she may not be the cause of it.

7) She may understand that he does not want to marry (or have children) again.

Further:

1) He may not have been seeking a mistress but find himself having one.

2) His wife may know - and approve, even encourage him, for her own reasons, to be with another woman.

3) Some people "with eyes open" choose to be in a romantic triad.

Missy

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