MISSY's Q and A : SHOULD SHE ASK HIM TO PAY FOR HER EDUCATION?

Dear Missy,

I'm a college student and have been putting myself through with part time jobs.  Since I started my relationship with "Jared" I cut my hours way back. I'm a waitress, and now I don't think I can afford to stay in school.  Jared is an attorney who seems to be doing really well and I've never asked him for anything.  He's given me some expensive gifts, jewelry and a watch, but nothing as practical as tuition.  I don't know if I want to actually ASK, you know?  Jared by the way is not married, but he has also told me he doesn't want to get married and prefers I be his mistress - his word not mine.

Alice in Vermont


Dear Alice in Vermont,

Well, Jared has made it a point of telling you that he doesn't plan to marry you, or maybe anyone.  You should take him at his word.  He also says he wants you to be his mistress.  Have you ever asked him what he thinks the difference between a wife and a mistress is, or what his expectations are of a mistress - you?

Many mistresses do find themselves having to be or stay flexible so that they can spend time with their man.  You must however take care of yourself, your education, and your career, unless he has arranged to support you and for a long time and as a lawyer he knows how to create the legal documents that can do that.  As things are, first it will be dropping out of school and then it will be loosing your apartment or working full time to stay there.  Seems to me staying in school is the thing for you to make happen and if selling the jewelry and watch would pay tuition I would.

So my first suggestion is that you talk to Jared and tell him that you have to take on more hours at your job in order to afford school and that you're sure he understands that.  Then start working more.  Within a few weeks he is going to realize that if he wants to see you and he wants you to live around his availability something is going to have to change.  More than one mistress has been put through college by her man, so don't be shy about that just get the money in cash in hand and go pay the tuition with it first thing - if he offers.  Don't even suggest that you'd be willing to quit school for him!  If Jared takes his leave of your life because you can't be out with him and afford school, let him go.

Missy

HOT ON THE ICE

2012 : MISSY LOOKS BACK ON THIS YEARS POPULAR POSTS AND THINKS AHEAD TO 2013

I'm not going to elect a MISTRESS OF THE MONTH this month.

Not that there aren't more mistresses to write about!

Instead I decided to look at the Google Blogger stats and write about some of the most popular mistresses and posts over the last year! 

This may surprise you, but Jesse Jackson Sr.'s, Karin Stanford (sometimes the spelling of her given name is Karen and sometimes you see her surname as Stafford but I think Stanford is right) seems to be the most popular! 

As for this blog, MISTRESS MANIFESTO, no other mistress seems to have gotten as many hits!  That makes Karen the most popular mistress that I've included in my pantheon.

Next, when it comes to number of hits is a brief mention of BOB HOPE'S GIRLFRIENDS.  (I'll have to do more on that subject in 2013!)

In 2013 I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR FROM MORE OF YOU and reach deeper into my mail bag!  I'd love to give a few more people advice - or at least my point of view - but I know that so many of you are in the closet about your alternative lifestyle.  I want to respect that, which is why almost all the mistresses I've written about are public, historical, or otherwise documented persons.  I wouldn't out someone just because they wrote to me!

WE ARE STILL TRYING TO DEFINE "MISTRESS!"

We all seem to agree that a mistress is a kept woman who is involved with a married man and who receives substantial financial support from him, but we all know that a person, male or female, whatever their sexuality, can be a mistress (or mantress) without being involved with a married person.  Some mistresses of very wealthy men will never have to work for a living in their lives, others are kept for a short period of time or are self supporting.

Yes, there are just so many different ways to be a mistress. 

Yet there are some people that the media has or does label "mistress" who just never were.  One of those people is Monica Lewinsky, who had an affair with President Bill Clinton while he was in office that appears to have been a one sided love.  (You can read more about Monica by using the Google search feature installed on this blog!  We can't wait to read the book she's working on!)  A mere affair does not make a mistress!

Perhaps more than anything, being a mistress is a mentality, a way of looking at love and life, a choice for some and fate for others!

Missy

C 2012 All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights

STYLE BOOK LADIES HOME JOURNAL

DENEICE WILLIAMS : IT'S GONNA TAKE A MIRACLE

LOVE AND THE RICH

HOW TO NEVER LOOK FAT AGAIN by CHARLA KRUPP : WHAT TO WEAR IF YOU'RE BIG BUSTED : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

Eat too much at Thanksgiving?  Expecting to gain ten pounds as you nibble at all those holiday parties?  Rather than wait for the diet to work, why not dress to appear slim?

One of my friends who's African American was looking at the cover of Oprah magazine recently and she said to me "This has to be Photoshopped." She meant Ophrahs' body on this particular magazine. The fact is that Oprah has the best dressers, stylists, makeup artists, and cosmeticians working with her on a daily basis, for her show and for photo shoots that land pictures on the cover of her own magazine so who, with all that, could not be coaxed into beauty?  We all know part of big story is her yoyo dieting...

HOW TO NEVER LOOK FAT AGAIN

Over 1000 Ways to Dress Thinner - Without Dieting

Charla Krupp C 2010

This is a delightful and pragmatic book that has fashion strategies for all sorts of "fat problems" from your one end to the other. This book also has leads to good buys for products Carla personally buys. Here is one small example.  (I know a lot of women want to have larger breasts and many have surgery to have that look, but there are also a lot of women who are naturally big breasted who can't find clothes to fit!)

Things that make you look fat with a Big Bust

1) Patch pockets over the breasts.

2) Tucking in tops.

3) Long necklaces that end below the bust.

4) Tightness across the chest.
 

5) Turtlenecks.

6) Excessive cleavage - pushed together breasts.

7) Tight T shirts.

8) strapless gowns, tops, and swimsuits.

9) Across the body messenger or shoulder bags.

10 Bulky Jackets and sweaters.

Some pluses : T-shirt smooth bras, wearing jackets and tops that reach the hipbone in length

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS YOUNG : 1909 HARPERS MAGAZINE

LA IS THE MISTRESS CAPITOL OF THE UNITED STATES! TOP TEN MISTRESS CITIES

Ashley Madison site :  MISTRESSES IN THE UNITED STATES "L.A. beat out Washington, DC (take that, Capitol Hill interns!) for the distinction, as well as Dallas, TX, and West Palm Beach, FL, among others. Within the confines of our fair city, the highest percentage of mistresses are concentrated where the wealthy have a lot to spend on their sidepiece dalliances -- in the 90210 zip code.


The founder of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, has some profound speculation as to why we're so cavalier about getting involved with married men here in the Southland.

"LA operates on an entirely different plane than most other major cities," he said. "Many women who live there have their sights set on other priorities besides just marriage and family, therefore pursuing a relationship with someone who already has a wife and kids suits their lifestyle perfectly."

Here is how the cities ranked:
1) Los Angeles California
2) Washington DC
3) Phoenix Arizona
4) Tampa Florida
5) San Francisco California
6) Dallas Texas
7) Raleigh (North or South Carolina?)
8) Milwaukee Wisconsin
9) West Palm Beach Florida
10) Louisville Kentucky

Don't personally know of anyone who met their person on the Internet but the Ashley Madison site is supposed to be very popular for women who are looking for a sugar daddy...