BEFORE WE BEGIN : THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY IS ON MY MIND

We will begin the month of April shortly: 

Last February 2025, I featured Lilly Langtry, a mistress of King Edward VII (when he was still Prince Edward) as Mistress of the Month.  My primary source for that month's posts came from Ian Graham's book titled "Scarlet Women" in which she was one of the women Graham wrote about. A couple months ago I went to a library where there were several books on King Edward VII (Great Britain) and his 'love life'. I took them home and read them.

In the last several months, partly because of the Jeffrey Epstein Sex Trafficking Scandal, which has only gotten more scandalous since the release of the Epstein Files, I've been thinking about the former Prince Andrew (stripped of his titles, honorariums, and all opportunities to work for Great Britain as a member of the Royal Family, now simply Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor) and being raised as the second to the throne. I've been thinking of Sarah Ferguson, Andrew's wife and best friend since their divorce years ago. Both have been essentially banished and removed. 

I featured Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, and back in September of 2023. I found her memoir unexpectedly well written and interesting.

I've been reading news articles and listening to media coverage about the Royal Family and the issues they must deal with. I sometimes listen to the YouTube station which is owned by and stars Lady Colin Campbell, who I featured here in June of 2024. (Lady Colin Campbell is also a book author, famous for publishing the first book about Princess Diana and Prince Charles and their marriage.)

I don't agree with all her opinions but, as one of her son's said recently, she is a character and perceptive and often right.

Lady Colin Campbell discussed the reality of wives and mistresses in her family and among the British settled in Jamaica in her memoir about growing up in "Daughter of Narcissus".

She doesn't much like Prince Harry or his wife, Princess Meghan, and she once defended Prince Andrew, until she learned he was lying. And, as you most recent readers know, I devoted January of this year to Virginia Guiffre, and her book about being an Epstein sex trafficked survivor. Prince Andrew is in deep trouble as a result of his involvement with the evil Epstein.

I wonder, if it's true that, perhaps, the ex-Prince Andrew and his, as I see it, sex addiction which got him in such terrible trouble, is an inherited trait. Is it genetic? Nature versus nurture? Does it have something to do with being born into high status and riches, with what would seem to be extreme opportunity, but also strong expectations and limitations on what he might do with his blessed life?  Prince Harry was long a second to the throne just as Andrew was, and he has established a life very different than what was expected of him but, though I sense he is happy in his marriage and with his children, he is condemned for abandoning those expectations that he would be a helpmate to his older brother, future King Prince William. But let's face it. Harry certainly did some running around and partying and had other relationships while remaining unmarried until he settled down with his wife, however controversial they are. (Lady Colin Campbell is just one British media person who heavily condemns him and his wife. Frankly, I don't know how it is that the both of them are still standing because it seems there is nothing either of them can do without international criticism.)

These days the privacy granted pre-Internet of persons of high birth and high achievement by the media is gone. Back in the day, the British tabloids might have called Andrew "Randy Andy" but the details were generally kept from us. What emerged were well researched books about these interesting persons who, it could be said, had the world in their hands.

Of all the British princes and kings who have had mistresses, perhaps it is true that Edward Albert, Prince of Wales who became King Edward VII, was among King's who had mistresses, the British Royal most known to be a sex addict. Lillie Langtry was not his first lover, but his first well known and accepted (i.e. official) mistress after his marriage. Said to have been introduced to sex very young - perhaps fourteen - in Paris, the young prince, well before his marriage at twenty-one, was reportedly avid for sex and also went to prostitutes. Though he had some work before he became King and more after, he went about his official duties distracted by and intent on pleasure.

I will be focused on this monarch, who was Queen Elizabeth II's great grandfather, and his mistresses over the next months. I hope you will join in our discovery!

Missy

POLLINATOR

 

LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH PASSED AT AGE 91 : A VERY FULL LIFE

Here are some obituaries about Lady Annabel Goldsmith that are quite interesting including photographs. 

BBC NEWS : LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH DIES AT 91

Excerpt: Her youngest child Ben said she was "quite simply irreplaceable".

He added: "We are bereft, not for her – because her life has been extraordinary and complete - but for us, because of the immense hole in our lives she leaves behind."

Mr. Goldsmith said: "I spoke to her every day for 45 years, she truly had my back and we loved each other very much. I will miss her terribly."

THE GUARDIAN : LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH OBITUARY

Excerpt: Goldsmith, who has died aged 91, was herself a celebrity, accessible to journalists and happy to explain about the men in her life at a time when talking openly about being a mistress was still vaguely scandalous. Having married Birley as a teenager in 1954, she began a relationship with the financier Sir James Goldsmith 10 years later, having discovered that her first husband was a serial adulterer – as, it turned out, was her second.

By the time they married in 1978, she had two children with him and would go on to have a third, to add to three with Birley. He then embarked on further affairs, and remarked: “If you marry your mistress, you create a vacancy.”

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WHAT MISTRESS OF THE MONTH ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS BLOG?

I know that the more hits a subject or post gets, the higher up in the ranking, and sometimes that just isn't fair because I spend a lot of time researching for newer subjects and posts too.

I wonder.  WHICH MISTRESS ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS BLOG?

Missy

CLOVER

 

ANNABELS PRIVATE MEMBERS CLUB : PRIVACY AND DISCRETION

The club currently features elaborate and beautiful holiday decorations for Halloween, Christmas, and such.

To quote the poster of this YouTube video, "It was, also, a place of romance where invitations meant that courtships had moved to a more serious level and numerous marriage proposals resulted. It summed up, quite simply, the most elegant nightclub and private dining anywhere in the world."

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OTHER BOOKS AUTHORED BY LADY ANNABEL GOLDSMITH (SHE LOVED DOGS!)

 

In this book Lady Annabel Goldsmith wrote about her childhood and growing up in a rich family, and her parents ; her father a liberal Member of Parliament who raised her after her mother died young of cancer. She married Mark Birley at the age of twenty, and had three children by him. She writes about her children, her affair with Sir James Goldsmith, but most of all some of the fascinating people who were part of her social life. You can see by the title that these people were welcomed into her home and friendship. Pelham cottage was the place she lived until she and Sir James Goldsmith finally got married and she moved.

I remember reading Annabel's memoir and she clearly loved dogs. She wrote this book about one of them.

This book is a lot of fun, as Annabel recounts Copper's adventures on the aristocratic social scene as well as the London buses, and well, you know that, like most dog owners, there had to be some premonitions about what this particular dog was up to ...

She contributed to this book, all about the life and death of best friends. Dogs were important to Annabel and her family and her garden at Ormeley Lodge has memorials to some of them. 

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LADY ANNABEL WAS ALSO KNOWN FOR HER GARDENING AND GARDEN PARTIES AT OREMELY LODGE

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was known for her interest in gardening, especially at Oremely Lodge, and her garden is one you can visit. Oremely is a fine old historic building, 18th century red brick, built in 1715. There are several images of it on the Internet. I'll link so you can take a look.

NATIONAL GARDEN SCHEME - OREMELY LODGE GARDENS (Virtual garden go-sees.)

"Large walled garden in delightful rural setting on Ham Common. Wide herbaceous borders and box hedges. Walk through to orchard with wild flowers. Vegetable garden, knot garden, aviary and chickens. Trellised tennis court with roses and climbers. A number of historic stone family dog memorials."

GREAT GARDENS OF LONDON : GOOGLE BOOKS EXCERPT : by Victoria Summerley, Hugo Rittson Thomas, and Marianne Majerus

There's wisteria, magnolia, a Knot Garden, where box hedges contrast with more free form plantings. The memorials for the family dogs make it especially unique. Page down for photos and descriptions!

LILACS

 

AUTHOR SARAH BRADFORD ON ANNABEL'S RELATIONSHIP WITH PRINCESS DIANA : A MOTHER FIGURE TO THE MOTHERLESS DIANA

DIANA, Finally The Complete Story by Sarah Bradford 

Excerpt: "....the two women close to Diana for the remainder of her life were glamourous mother figures, Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Brazilian Ambassadress Lucia Fletcha de Lima. Another older woman, lady Bowker, was the recipient of many confidences about her love life.  Lady Annabel, a daughter of the 8th Marquess of Londonderry, had formerly been married to Mark Birley, founder of the smartest of London nightclubs which he named after her. Glamourous, popular, and social, Lady Annabel had two sons and a daughter by Birley, and subsequently two more sons and a daughter by the fabulously rich Sir James Goldsmith, international financier and celebrated gambler. Annabel Elliot, Camilla Parker Bowles sister, was a particular friend of Annabel's and it was at her birthday party at the Goldsmith house, Ormeley Lodge. on Ham Common, that Diana's face-to-face interview with Camilla had taken place. The Camilla connection was, in a perverse way, an attraction for Diana, as was later the marriage of Annabel's beautiful daughter, Jemima Kahn, when the Pakistani connection became important to her.

Annabel was a contemporary of Diana's mother, Frances, and had known her well. Her own children ranged from Rupert Birley, born in 1955, to the youngest, Zak Goldsmith, born in 1980, and with nephews, nieces, and stepchildren the Goldsmith house supplied a wonderful family atmosphere that attracted Diana. Ben Goldsmith was just over two years older than William, and Diana would bring the children with her to marathon Sunday lunches at Ormeley..."

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WILD FLOWERS

 

ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE : READ HER BOOK ON INTERNET ARCHIVE

INTERNET ARCHIVE : ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE 

You can open an account and read page by page.

After checking three libraries that I hold cards with, as well as Google Books and Project Gutenberg, finally I found a copy of Annabel: An Unconventional Life, which came out about 2004 to share with you! I read cover to cover so long ago!  The photo on this edition shows Annabel as a young, smart women who liked to go clubbing, but other editions have a photo of Annabel, also from youth, in which she appears far more innocent!

You can read about her childhood, her debutante days, and page 173 starts the chapter Meeting Jimmy, as in Sir James Goldsmith, to whom she was first the Mistress of, and then a Wife. With him she had a second family. Jemima was born in 1974 when Annabel was 34 years old, Zac in 1975, when she was 35, and Ben, when she was 40...  This was a second serious relationship for Annabel, who already had three children with her first husband, Mark Birley. James Goldsmith wanted children with her. A friend of his told her the truth, that he was getting bored and wanted them. But she was still married to Mark Birley and was Goldsmith's mistress. Eventually they did marry, but then Goldsmith found another Mistress who lived in New York!

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ROSES AND BUTTERFLY IN THE BREEZE

 

LADY ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH : MOTHER OF SIX GREAT CHILDREN : POSH AND WITH PURPOSE : ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRITISH ARISTOCRATIC MISTRESSES OF CONTEMPORARY TIMES

Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise. 

In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever. 

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress,

 but not a very good wife." - Lady Annabel

LADY ANNABEL (VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART) BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

1934 - 2025

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.

In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.

Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.

She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***

Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.

What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.

Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.'  Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.

Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.

This month we'll celebrate Lady Annabel for her intelligence and sophistication, and for all the love she gave.

*** A version of this post was originally posted November 5 2009 in the very beginnings of this blog, Mistress Manifesto. 

*** Information on Lady Annabel's volunteer work and philanthropy is from Google AI.

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You may also be interested in:

May 2012           

LORD BATH (the Loins of Longleat)

and his Many Mistresses (He calls them "Wifelets"!)