Sunday, April 30, 2017


Once in a while we speculate...  We already know that being Kept doesn't always involve adultery, especially not when so many couple choose to live together a long time before they marry, if they marry at all.

I'll keep you guessing - just a bit!


Saturday, April 29, 2017


Hello Readers!

In December 2016 I finally decided to try reading by e-book.  Basically, I've always been a book lover - a book worm - and one who uses libraries, goes to books sales and bookstores and book fairs. I always seems to have two or three books to read at a time.  For this blog I like to read at least one well regarded book before choosing my subject matter such as the Mistress of the Month but sometimes I read books that I reject or two or three or four.  I also read magazine articles and news on line, including some old archived articles.  Then I'm ready to make a decision and take a position. 

I've learned over the last few months that there are some true positives for reading by e-book.  One is saving me time, though I still do visit my library and read paper.  I check to see if a book I want to read is available as an e-book and sometimes after a chapter or so I decide the books isn't appealing and that saves me borrowing or buying it.  Another is that I can use the search in Overdrive(my app) to scan the book before I read it to see if there is much reference to the person or subject that I want to learn about.  For instance, more than one mistress featured at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT has so been in the shadows that you might have to read a few books to find a mention of her name.  I know I can count on the book being mine to read for 21 days reading an e - sometimes renewable several times - before I can take notes.  I still take notes by hand - sometimes hundreds of pages.  I go back to the bookmarked pages when I'm taking notes to see if I still feel the information on those pages is relevant.

Of course books are the work of writers - authors - and really when I reference a book that's more than a year or two old it's like revaluing the work.  I look at this blog as a way to introduce my readers to many of these talented, skilled, ambitious, and determined people who have managed to produce an entire manuscript, market it, get agents, get PR, and then - some of them - do that again.  As I understand it, the initial push to market a book is when they make it or break it financially.
If there is a mistress you know about that you think would make a good subject, please leave a comment.  Any books you'd recommend?  That too!

As part of the Google Blogger there are stats.  I look at these once in a while and see that many people are reading MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT on their cell phone. Although some of the most popular posts have "legs of their own" and so take dominance when you use the Internet to find the blog or information about someone of interest to you, I encourage you to seek a bit further, read another month, use the archives to see who else might interest you, because truly, many hours are put into each and every subject!

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, April 27, 2017


Some people are more Mistress Friendly than others.  It might depend upon the person, what she's like before she becomes a Mistress, and what your friendship was like before she became one of the many women (and men) who has send Yes to non-Traditional relationship.


Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Melissa Macsaysay wrote this book and it's C 2012

WANT TO "GO HOLLYWOOD" with your personal fashion statement?  Well, Southern California, in particular the city of Los Angeles, has zones of fashion understanding, which include the Romantic Bohemians, Glamour (what you usually think of as Hollywood), the Rockers (a lot of space devoted to Once Upon a Time Groupie Pamela Des Barres who I've featured here last September on Groupie month), Skaters and Surfers (based on Preppie!),Chola-Style, Indie-Eclectic, Casual-Chic, and well, whatever you can come up with!  It might have something to do with where you live or hang out, Silver Lake and Los Feliz being different than Beverly Hills.

This book comes with lots of photos of good looking well dressed people who are the epitome of style in each category, what a basic wardrobe consists of, as well as referrals to some of the best stores in the area to buy clothing and accessories that you desire.

I loved this quote from someone named China Chow, " More than any place I can think of, LA is a true collage-city; desert, ocean, mountains, hills, urban centers, and suburban flats - and the style is by nature varied, complex, camera ready, and yes, incredibly relevant and influential."  (It's in the Indie-Eclectic category.)

Did you know that Los Angeles is the denim capital of the world, even though many manufacturers took their blue jeans making to other, cheaper countries?  When they left, they left the facilities for the smaller, designer brands to lodge themselves in and the result has been innovation and caring about the details.  An excellent fitting pair of jeans may be the basis for an LA wardrobe.

As for me, although I have a rocker alter ego hidden somewhere in me, I'm in the Casual Chic category with the Casual Bohemian (think Laurel Canyon in the Mama Cass era).  Now off I go to the stores recommended to see what they've got for sale!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

HEF's 91 and NOT ALL EX BUNNIES REGRET KNOWING HIM - Pamela Anderson and birthday news

HUGH HEFNER, the founder of Playboy Magazine and Playboy Enterprises recently celebrated his 91st birthday. According to various news articles he released a Soundtracks of My Life CD on Amazon shortly before.  The magazine itself had stopped having nude photo spreads.  They are back, though his 25 year old son's taste in nudies may be different than Hef's, who liked the "girl next door" (available) look.  Some of the old girlfriends apparently don't regret their experience or have the manners to still say happy birthday.

HEFNER is known for backing 1st Amendment Rights and some philanthropy including supporting the CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT group which helps teens who have turned to prostitution. CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT

Monday, April 17, 2017

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Being a Girlfriend Who'se Good and True - Fair and Foul Weather Friend

Reading Holly Madison's memoir about living in the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's Girlfriends, and then as the Main Girlfriend, and how she survived it, made me sad.  Despite being called a "Girlfriend" she had no good and true friends in the situation, and the situation was her life, unless you count one of the older women who had been with Hef as an assistant for decades who seemed to be there for her a little.  (I'm skeptical.)

Holly would hope for someone new to be a friend, even recruit one, but the new woman's competitiveness or personality or drug addiction would soon end that hope. Who was there to speak with intelligence about any of her interests or real feelings?  Not Hef.  He chauvinistically had his circle of men friends for that. It does seem like his type was Blonde Bimbo, and Holly was willing to pretend to be that and act as if. She was alone and lonely surrounded by people.

It's always possible to have a "girlfriend" who is actually a man, gay or straight, platonic. There is something to be said for having other women, who live in a female body, and have female body issues like you do, as a friend.  I'm using the term girlfriend here to mean someone you are not sexual or romantic with.  (I know it may sound a little old fashioned or confuse some people but I don't mean necessarily a lesbian romance.) 

They say it takes being one to have one.  So, be a Good and True friend to at least one other woman.  Be that person who can listen well, understand or try to, have empathy, and be trustworthy. Be there when she needs you.  Save her reputation. Help her get good work. As in all relationships there has to be some give and take, as well as being both responsible for keeping the relationship going, no matter what's going on. 

Choose her well.  Then stick with her.

Saturday, April 15, 2017


DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE  Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny  by Holly Madison

Notes and Commentary from Missy

Notes from pages  75 and 79:

Holly says in her book that Hugh Hefner (and members of his staff, some of whom had offices in the Mansion), watched what the girlfriends were doing with their $1000 a week allowances. The girlfriends were considered to be part of the marketing and public relations team for Hefner and the Playboy Enterprises business, but they were also expected to have sex with the boss. The $1000 a week was expected to be spent on lingerie and sexy clothing that they could be seen in around town when they went clubbing two nights a week as well at parties at the Mansion. For some time they were expected to go out two nights a week and then return to the Master Bedroom where some or all of them would have sex.

There were many rules they had to follow to continue living at the Mansion, including a relatively early 9 PM curfew when not out with Hef - and for years Holly obeyed that, while many of the girls had outside boyfriends and would sneak in and out, she refrained.  Whoever was the "main girlfriend" shared the Master Bedroom with Hef, and most nights might just spend time watching TV or reading side by side, but the others had bedrooms on the same floor.

Notes from Page 136

Circa 2008, Playboy Enterprises, not Hef personally, owned the Mansion, and the company had not been profitable for some time, despite so much effort to stay relevant.  He paid the company RENT for the bedrooms, so if no one was occupying a room, no rent for that room was paid.  This many be why he went from six to only three girlfriends.  He paid $25,000 a MONTH for his master suite, at that time $12,000 a month for a room used by Kendra, $10,000 a MONTH for one used by Bridget, with smaller rooms going for $5000 to $7000 a month.

(I'm thinking that the girlfriends were tax deductible!)

A common request that was usually granted to a girlfriend was that Hef pay for cosmetic procedures.  Holly had paid for her own breast enlargement as a college student but she asked Hef to pay for a nose job, which he did.

They had their food, shelter, and clothing, as payment for their services.  He paid for their nights out, their dates, and sometimes that included travel.

The girlfriends also had their hair and other beauty services done at the Jose Eber Hair Salon, at least a couple times a week, at no charge to them.

At Christmas time Hef would give each girl money to spend on the others for gifts, about $500 for each girl.  One year Holly had about $3500 to spend on the other girlfriends.  Sometimes they attempted to purchase the same gift for each person, say the same handbags, or the same skirt, so that they would have a unified look when they went out.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017


EXCERPT: The revolutionary magazine, which debuted in 1953, has gone through many changes in the past 63 years. This past February, Hugh Hefner’s son Cooper, 25, who serves as Playboy’s chief creative officer, announced that the magazine would bring back nude models after instating a short-lived ban. "I'll be the first to admit that the way in which the magazine portrayed nudity was dated but removing it entirely was a mistake,” Cooper explained. "Nudity was never the problem because nudity isn't a problem. Today we're taking our identity back and reclaiming who we are.”

Missy here:  Not every Playboy Model or Playboy Bunny has regrets.  Notably, Pamela Anderson seems quite happy with what Hugh Hefner did for her - a start as an actress and model. In my Opinion, while it's important to hone your beauty, when a woman is best known for it, especially when she models nude, she may have a difficult time being taken seriously.

Monday, April 10, 2017


This vintage drawing of a small child trying to charm a rabbit is so cute. It was drawn by Jessie Willcox Smith. She was an American illustrator who lived from 1863-1935.

Saturday, April 8, 2017


DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE  Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny  by Holly Madison

Pages 66 and 68 and 72:

"Inside the mansion, life wasn't at all like what I dreamed it would be.  Instead of a nightly slumber party with six of your best friends, I had entered the lions den.  It gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "keep your enemies close" and made a sorority house look like Bible Study.

...  He ( Hugh Hefner) decided he wasn't going to make any more of his girlfriends Playmates, but he never told that to anyone. He dangled the possibility of Playmate-hood in order to keep the girl's interested. The more aggressive girlfriends would take whatever measures necessary to secure a centerfold, even ruthlessly throwing another girl under the bus, if that meant she would gain favor with him.

Prior to moving into the mansion, I'd been a fairly confident person  but it didn't take long for my self-worth to start to crumble.  After being identified by the other girlfriends as persona non grata, I had become the victim of their ruthless "mean - girl-ing."  .... According to their ruthless taunting I was the "hick girl" from Nowheresville, USA.  They found my optimistic attitude corny and my confidence threatening so they did whatever they could to tear me down.  Sadly, I have to say it worked...

... I was so constantly on edge that I eventually developed a stammer

Notes from Missy

Throughout the book, Hugh Hefner is characterized as a manipulator who likes it that the women are fighting over him and so with each other. 

Sunday, April 2, 2017




Today she's married to Pasquelle Rotella and is a mother and entertainer... I'm just recently familiar with HOLLY MADISON.

You may have heard about HOLLY MADISON's expose memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole, which is about living at the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's live in "girlfriends" since there has been a lot of public relations happening in conjunction with this book that came out last year. You may also know Holly from watching reality television (The Girls Next Door) or perhaps saw her striptease show in Vegas called Peepshow at Crazy Horse Paris.  Since I've never watched a reality television show but just recently heard of the sale of the Playboy Mansion (with a guarantee that Hugh Hefner be able to live there, in the 20,000 plus square foot home, for the rest of his life), it was the real estate deal that brought my interest around to reading  Holly's book.

In her book she makes the case that while she did live to regret living at the Playboy Mansion with Hugh Hefner as one of the girlfriends her biggest fear was that forever more, after she left, she would be made to pay the price. As much as she says she made peace with it, you get the feeling she's still in process. She'd even suffered a severe depression, saw a psychiatrist against Hef's wishes, and went on a psyche med to endure her life there as a very Kept woman (my words not hers.)  Yet, while most girlfriends lasted six months if that, and many more women were brought in for a night of adventure and left, Holly kept on, thinking she loved the man old enough to be her grandfather, Hef.  She wanted to marry him and have children with him, all the while hoping to become a centerfold model.  She says, "Foolishly, I'd long believed that becoming a Playboy Centerfold was the fast track to fame and fortune.  Boy, was I wrong.  There have been more than 720 Playmates in Playboy's history.  How many of them can you name?  (Page 116)

Make no mistake about it though, that is 20 20 hindsight. Holly had the goal of becoming a Playmate of the Month when she was just a teenager. She doesn't seem to have been overly shy, though claiming she was terrified at first about posing nude, or at all concerned about morality, or what it might all mean for her sexually, though she admits early on that the other girlfriends lied to her at first, claiming they did not actually have sex with Hugh Hefner as part of their live-in girlfriend deal. Once she was presented to Hugh, she did have sex with him and, it goes unsaid, some of them, even if they were supposed to be secretive about that. 

This story is about PLAYBOY but don't expect any sex scenes in the book. You'll get the idea that twice a week all the girlfriends went into Hugh's bedroom after going out to clubs, that he proffered Qualudes which he called "thigh openers" (which she didn't take) and that some of them were using Cocaine (which she didn't take) and drinking (which she did).  Then they danced for him, or stripped for him, or whatever, maybe with each other, for his entertainment. Considering that these women were often Mean Girls who otherwise made each other's lives miserable, that must have been some acting!

In Holly's  book she uses the terms harem, traveling harem, Mistress, and Concubine.  She does not use the term Kept, but I will, and later in the month give you a list of the financial incentives or pay, while I wonder if somehow Playboy Enterprises made the Girlfriends tax deductions.

How does a small town girl go from there to here?

Playboy magazines could be found in the home she grew up in, and when the magazine went looking for possible playmates for their "Millennium Playmates" auditions all over the United States, she was one of the young women who showed up when the bus came to Portland.  She bought a silver bikini and had herself photographed.  Nothing came of it.  A whole hell of a lot of young beautiful women had the goal of being a Playmate back in 1999, and many of them had some idea of how to please; look like Pamela Anderson, or maybe Jenny McCarthy, or best - Marilyn Monroe, who had been on the first cover of the magazine in the 1950's.

Holly was so sure that she had to be in Los Angeles, that she changed from an Oregon state to private college so that she could live near Hollywood and Playboy, and double majored, with a strong interest in acting.  She was also so sure that she needed larger breasts that she forked over three charge cards to pay about $7,000 for the cosmetic surgery.  So, with D cups, she easily got a job at the Hooters Restaurant, said to be a great place for a waitress to get tips, what with those tiny shorts riding up. She was also a Hawaiian Tropics Girl as a sort of spokesmodel who showed up at events in swimwear.  She was invited to the Playboy mansion party after a man who was Hugh Hefner's private physician, and familiar with his taste in women, saw her at a Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest in Beverly Hills. Hefner's Midsummer Night's Dream Party required sleepwear.  She showed up in a black Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie set.  She was a woman who had the intelligence for college but who seems to be set on making it based on looks.

To her credit, Holly had been working hard - college, extra shifts at Hooters restuarant, and she got an acting agent and went on auditions and had a few bit parts.  She wasn't lazy, and she took risks and had goals.  Still, she needed a lucky break.

In debt, she'd been living in a hotel room with another student who was leaving. She would have been homeless with $100 left in her pocket, and she faced having to go home to her small Oregon town.  Or, she could manage to get invited to live at the Playboy Mansion as a girlfriend.  She was never happy there, she says with hindsight, and maybe the worst of it was learning that not only did other girlfriends manage to have outside boyfriends, but some of them were working as high priced escorts for a local Madam, and one of them tried to recruit her.

Please readers, don't think I'm putting Holly way down. It's just that her book left me so very many questions, and the idea that she had kind of co-signed what we politely call B.S. for so many years, even when she was no longer na├»ve about what was going on, makes me wonder if she understands how severely abused she let herself be. Is the fact that she is one Playboy Bunny who has managed to get other work, to make a few million on her own, enough to compensate for the years she spent being only a Girlfriend?

You decide! 

I was thinking a bit about a previous Mistress of the Month, Jillian Lauren, who became part of the Harem of the Sultan of Brunei.  She was specifically recruited for a harem and while maybe none of us can know for sure ahead of time if we'd like it, she seemed to have known what she was getting into.

Hugh Hefner really did have a harem, as I see it, though the situations are not identical because Hefner didn't have the near unlimited funds that the Sultan of Brunei did.  Man sharing is something we look at here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, and the women in a harem do share a man, and he does the choosing of which women get to stay, and for how long, though the question of leaving when a woman wants to may not be as clear. 

Jillian had been as escort before she got her invitation to travel across the world and stay as the  willing captive who was sometimes rewarded  very well financially, who also felt competitive with the other women and wanted to be the favorite. Today this lifestyle seems to be so much more based on sexuality than a Classic Mistress situation in which a woman is like a second wife to a man, however it seems to me that women, whatever their status, but for those in religious sisterhoods or monasteries or who are self supporting and celibate, are expected to be sexual as a condition of their being in this world, and that certainly includes wives.

If interested in the Harem lifestyle you may want to search herein for
Jillian Lauren - June 2013
Lord Bath and his 75 Wifelets - May 2012
China's Empress Dowager Cixi - September 2015

(* Holly spent time at the Mansion before being invited to be a girlfriend, and continued to have business and friendships that kept her involvement going.  She was a girlfriend from bout 2001 to 2008... Her last party at the Mansion was Halloween 2008.