Saturday, June 28, 2014

THE ARTFUL LINEAGE OF THE FRENCH MISTRESS by RUSSEL SMITH


THE GLOBE AND MAIL : THE ARTFUL LINEAGE OF THE FRENCH MISTRESS    by Russell Smith

EXCERPT:

"You see why the French don’t like to criticize leading men and their mistresses too much. They think there are big ideas at stake. Mistresses, in French artistic history, are evidence not of boorishness and sexism, but of sensitivity and cultivation. In the higher realms of power, it is not unusual to see art as essentially feminine. Yes, these are rather conservative ideas...."

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE KEPT? A COURTESAN? A MISTRESS? TO HAVE A HIGH COURTESAN ASPECT TO YOUR PERSONALITY? MISSY SPEAKS!

When you write a blog called Mistress Manifesto (on Google BlogSpot ) for several years as I've been doing, you wrangle with the question of what it means to be Kept, or what if any difference there is between a Courtesan and a Mistress!   When I profile Dally the Tall I have no doubt that she was a Courtesan because of the times that she lived in as well as the high art of her presentation and personality and the limitations of her ambitions. 

In other cases I'm not so sure.

Of the three words, I think the one the media overuses and uses incorrectly is Mistress.  A woman in any old affair, even if it was just one night, can be called a Mistress in the media if the man she's involved with is married.  (For instance, I don't think the once playful Monica Lewinsky was ever President Bill Clinton's mistress and I would never apply that word to Marilyn Monroe, as confused as she was, though I think both women had a high courtesan aspect to their personalities.)  Now that there are so many people who consider themselves committed living apart or who never marry legally, the question of ADULTERY as a key to Mistresshood doesn't count so much.  Some relationships are so OPEN that Mistressing seems to be downright OLD FASHIONED, what with all that sneaking around!

Mistress is also used to imply that a person is a dominatrix, or at least powerful in the classroom as a teacher or as the owner of independent estate.  I'm sure some people have been looking for a dominatrix when they happened upon my blog!  I note that in this case the MISTRESS IS POWERFUL and IN CHARGE.  Since so many women are not powerful or in charge this mistress can become quite the fantasy for women, especially because she does this and is still feminine though not weak.

So then we look at what it means to be KEPT and that word seems to imply CONCUBINAGE!  When we say someone is KEPT there are always financial implications, like that the person does not work for pay at anything and are totally dependent on someone else for their needs. It is the financial evidence that we are looking for and it's the financial evidence that makes the news and pushes previously low key mistresses into the public eye.

This one is tricky too because not so long ago most MARRIED WOMEN WERE KEPT WOMEN.  They stayed in the home and were "home-makers" or their work was as mothers and wives but they did not go out and earn any pay.  As married women they were respected for this, even honored.  These days most women work or if they are living off savings, an inheritance, or unexpected windfall, they write a novel or do volunteer work.  These days most women do not want to ask a husband for money to buy everything they want or need. They don't want to go behind his back or be tricky to buy a new dress.  They are almost embarrassed to let a man pay for everything on a date.  They are trying to prove to a man that they do not need him or that they are not less than him, at least not less than him financially.  "I don't need you!" she seems to be saying.

With the financial dependence most often for women that means she is COMMITTED TO HIM and their RELATIONSHIP even if he is not so much to her.  Such a woman may decide to not date others or have sex with others even when he has not given her such a commitment.  (It is my suspicion that this was the case with poor L'Wren Scott.)


The ability to admit to need and the willingness to allow someone else to help them financially without embarrassment or apology is where today's Kept Woman or Mistress or Courtesan prevails.  This is also an old fashioned aspect of relationship with so much opportunity for independence today. It can even be an act of great self esteem and self acceptance to admit to someone that yes you can accept their generosity and no you are not an opportunist or user.  You will really appreciate it.  And do well with it.

Another way to find meaning in these words is in the personality of a person.

What does it mean to have a High Courtesan Aspect to your personality? 

Why are people who have this so appealing to other people? 

Well, people with this aspect to their personality know how to have fun.  They can be silly or sweet.  They can be childlike and have wonder about the world even as they get older and older. They know how to seize the moment or the day.  They see the beauty in things and they make themselves and their surroundings beautiful.  They are apt to be a little too forgiving and to make excuses for people and to keep things light.  This light heartedness is contagious. They are apt to see the glass half full rather than half empty.  They can't stay mad for too long.  They give perceptive and sincere compliments. 

There is a certain happiness to being able to make do, to invent.  Even when they can't afford a decorator their pillows are fluffed and there are guest soaps in the bathroom.

When things are going badly they get up and do the next day anyway, because they have faith that change is inevitable but it will all turn out well enough. 


Often they are the ones who make things happen for others, the job interviews, the dinner parties, the group to the opera, the event at the museum, or the little gift they picked up for you at a garage sale that is just perfect!

Missy

C Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifestto.blogspot.com  2014  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Saturday, June 21, 2014

GRACE DALYRYMPLE ELLIOT'S TYPICAL DAY AS A COURTESAN!

GRACE DALYRYMPLE ELLIOT'S typical day as a Courtesan!

 On Page 5 of Jo Manning's, MY LADY SCANDALOUS we learn that Grace may have...

After long night partying into the week hours - gaming, a masquerade?  Rise at noon at her love nest in the Picadilly area, St. John's Wood or Queen Anne Street (popular areas for women to be kept) her housemaid might bring her chocolate - her servants might run a bath, a professional hairdresser - dressed by a lady's maid, her breakfast brought to her room, read the newspaper, searching for her name - read reviews of plays, balls, etc, and SCAN THE PERSONAL ADS, note books advertised for sale, decide to attend the opera or a museum exhibit, be painted by a portraitist...

She might go shopping.  He pays her bills on time.  She goes for fittings, riding costumes, a new carriage.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES : Charming on the Phone

Are you charming on the phone?

This one is tricky because being a good conversationalist is also about listening.  So many women complain of not being heard when they do talk. They find themselves being repetitive because someone's response to what they say is dismissive. Seems a lot of men want to talk of themselves more than listen to a woman.  In fact some of these men think it is a woman's role to be the listener because they can't talk to their men friends.  Sometimes a woman waits all day to excitedly tell her man something and the right time never comes.  He may even unfairly consider her  to be"too talkative!" 

It takes practice to be a good conversationalist! 

It's taken me years to cut phone conversations short! 

For years I had a difficult time getting off the phone.  When I finally started conversations with "I can't stay on long but I called to tell you..." some of these people STILL wouldn't take the hint!  As a result there were people I simply would not call or call back!

Some people are more detail oriented or verbose than others.  Some only give sound bytes!  What you're listening for is that they UNDERSTAND what it is you just said.  Responses that affirm that you HEARD what they are saying are important, more so than claiming to agree if you don't! 

Don't assume that because someone is complaining to you or that they need support that they actually are soliciting your opinion.  So ask them first, "Do you want my opinion?"

Never tell someone to do something that you yourself would never!   You can always say, "I hear you!"  or "I don't know what I would do in your position."

Although we want to share, especially with close personal friends we can trust, we also want to talk about the subjects that interest us, the things that keep us interested in life, not just gossip or problems.  Everyone has a few interests besides gossip, so be ready and up to date!  Bring up anything in the local news about their favorite pastimes.  Is there a special antique auction coming to town?  Maybe you can go together!

And it can't all be serious. Pull your friend out of their blues with some light humor!  The irony of life!

Be wary of relationships that are all about phone conversations, in particular repetitive calls that go past 40 minutes and are actually therapy, but never seem to turn into making and keeping plans.  You can say, "I'd prefer to talk to you about this in person.  When can we have lunch?"

When you're meeting someone for lunch or dinner, be sure to give the other person equal time to talk and if they are monopolizing the conversation and do that frequently, then you need to assert yourself a bit and say, "and now about me!"   Yes, a good friend is someone you can lean on in crisis and who you will be there for too.  You want to do that and be that, but taking repetitive calls in the middle of the night to save someone from suicide is probably not something you're qualified for!

Twitter, Facebook, Social Networking, and other blurbing will not take the place of real conversation and in person is the best!


"I will indulge myself in the art of phone conversation!"


Sunday, June 8, 2014

IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COURTESAN AND A MISTRESS THAT THE COURTESAN CHOOSES HER LOVERS?



In the book "MY LADY SCANDALOUS", author Jo Manning quoted Katie Hickman, who wrote a book called "Courtesans."

On page 2 of the hard back book it says that a Courtesan is a woman who accepts money for sexual favors but considers herself the lover of just ONE MAN.  Though many mistresses become courtesans, unlike prostitutes, a courtesan always chooses her patrons - for her pleasure too -  Her gifts are erotic pleasure, company, and conversation.

Friday, June 6, 2014

SHOULD THEY BRING BACK THE GUILLOTINE? THE FRENCH REVOLUTION


SLATE : SHOULD THEY BRING BACK THE GUILLOTINE?  By
 
Courtesy Carolus/Wikimedia Commons
From the article
 
EXCERPT: Bringing back the guillotine may sound crazy, but it’s certainly better than the current alternative. It’s better for prisoners because quickly severing the head is believed to be one of the quickest, least painful ways to die. And it’s better for organ recipients because the bodies of guillotined prisoners could be more quickly harvested for viable parts, unlike organs that may become unusable after lethal injection due to hypoxemia.
 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

THE LADY AND THE DUKE : A FILM ABOUT GRACE ELLIOT

I tried to watch this film.

I was struck with the sets, for it seems that in capturing the architecture and landscape of the times, every scene appears to be on a stage set because the scene painters must have had work for months recreating backgrounds and backdrops.  That was artistically interesting but something about it also made me feel I was watching a play that was filmed rather than a film based in historical reality... Many critics  (Toronto Film Festival, Venice Film Festival, and New York Film Festival) would disagree with me... 

I also tried to follow it in French but was unable to!

From the back of the DVD: "THE LADY AND THE DUKE" is a suspenseful, visually opulent story based on a true story about an unusual friendship during a dangerous time. From highly acclaimed director Eric Rohmer... Beautiful aristocrat Grace Elliot enjoys her comfortable upper-middle class life and warm friendship with her former lover, the Duke of Orleans, until the turbulent French Revolution of the 1790's frighteningly begins.  Their friendship unravels as Grace risks her life taking in a fugitive against the Duke's wishes..."



Sunday, June 1, 2014

DALLY THE TALL OF THE DEMI - MODE - GRACE DALRYMPLE ELLIOT ROYAL COURTESAN : JUNE 2014

 
MY LADY SCANDALOUS by Jo Manning C 2005 is the primary reference here!
 
 
GRACE DALYRYMPLE (maiden name) ELLIOT (married name)
lived from 1754-1823.
 
THE TABLOIDS HELPED RUIN HER REPUTATION!
 
She may have been only 5'6 but that was tall for a woman then and her much older husband, who she was married to at 17,  the ugly and fat Dr. John Elliot, was barely five feet tall.  She was an 18th century trophy wife, a Scottish beauty married to the beast, though this one was also cheerful and a good conversationalist, if a snob.
 
Grace's marriage to Dr. John Elliot was arranged.  They were opposites and incompatible.  Then she met George James, Lord Cholmondelay, a British peer, the marriage breaker!
 
Image from Google Images - and Wikipedia
 
 
Their affair lasted maybe three years.  Their relationship lasted fifty years, though there were rifts and separations, and most of the time they were just friends.
 
What made Grace different from her sister who married respectably and had little to do with her after her disgrace!  Grace Dalyrymple met her father at age 11 when her mother, a very rare single mother, died, and was raised by her mother's parents.  Raised still as a convent educated and literate woman, any divorce was scandal, especially when it was the woman who wanted out.
 
She went to France and she would eventually write her own book about her life.
 
She spent 18 months in a French Prison during the French Revolution at a time when between 18,000 to 40,000 were executed for being upper class, aristocratic, or royal!  Was it charm that saved her?
 
She had one child and the DNA of the father will never be known...  Could be the child of a Prince?
 
She's buried in the same cemetery as Jim Morrison of the Doors -
Cimetiere du Pere-Lacheaise.