Mistress Manifesto

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

AUTHOR SARAH BRADFORD ON ANNABEL'S RELATIONSHIP WITH PRINCESS DIANA : A MOTHER FIGURE TO THE MOTHERLESS DIANA

DIANA, Finally The Complete Story by Sarah Bradford

Excerpt: "....the two women close to Diana for the remainder of her life were glamourous mother figures, Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Brazilian Ambassadress Lucia Fletcha de Lima. Another older woman, lady Bowker, was the recipient of many confidences about her love life. Lady Annabel, a daughter of the 8th Marquess of Londonderry, had formerly been married to Mark Birley, founder of the smartest of London nightclubs which he named after her. Glamourous, popular, and social, Lady Annabel had two sons and a daughter by Birley, and subsequently two more sons and a daughter by the fabulously rich Sir James Goldsmith, international financier and celebrated gambler. Annabel Elliot, Camilla Parker Bowles sister, was a particular friend of Annabel's and it was at her birthday party at the Goldsmith house, Ormeley Lodge. on Ham Common, that Diana's face-to-face interview with Camilla had taken place. The Camilla connection was, in a perverse way, an attraction for Diana, as was later the marriage of Annabel's beautiful daughter, Jemima Kahn, when the Pakistani connection became important to her.

Annabel was a contemporary of Diana's mother, Frances, and had known her well. Her own children ranged from Rupert Birley, born in 1955, to the youngest, Zak Goldsmith, born in 1980, and with nephews, nieces, and stepchildren the Goldsmith house supplied a wonderful family atmosphere that attracted Diana. Ben Goldsmith was just over two years older than William, and Diana would bring the children with her to marathon Sunday lunches at Ormeley..."

Sunday, March 8, 2026

WILD FLOWERS

Saturday, March 7, 2026

ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE : READ HER BOOK ON INTERNET ARCHIVE

INTERNET ARCHIVE : ANNABEL : AN UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE

You can open an account and read page by page.

After checking three libraries that I hold cards with, as well as Google Books and Project Gutenberg, finally I found a copy of Annabel: An Unconventional Life, which came out about 2004 to share with you! I read cover to cover so long ago! The photo on this edition shows Annabel as a young, smart women who liked to go clubbing, but other editions have a photo of Annabel, also from youth, in which she appears far more innocent!

You can read about her childhood, her debutante days, and page 173 starts the chapter Meeting Jimmy, as in Sir James Goldsmith, to whom she was first the Mistress of, and then a Wife. With him she had a second family. Jemima was born in 1974 when Annabel was 34 years old, Zac in 1975, when she was 35, and Ben, when she was 40... This was a second serious relationship for Annabel, who already had three children with her first husband, Mark Birley. James Goldsmith wanted children with her. A friend of his told her the truth, that he was getting bored and wanted them. But she was still married to Mark Birley and was Goldsmith's mistress. Eventually they did marry, but then Goldsmith found another Mistress who lived in New York!

Friday, March 6, 2026

ROSES AND BUTTERFLY IN THE BREEZE

Monday, March 2, 2026

LADY ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH : MOTHER OF SIX GREAT CHILDREN : POSH AND WITH PURPOSE : ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRITISH ARISTOCRATIC MISTRESSES OF CONTEMPORARY TIMES

Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise.

In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever.

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress,

but not a very good wife." - Lady Annabel

LADY ANNABEL (VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART) BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

1934 - 2025

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.

In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.

Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.

She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***

Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.

What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.

Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.' Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.

Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.

This month we'll celebrate Lady Annabel for her intelligence and sophistication, and for all the love she gave.

*** A version of this post was originally posted November 5 2009 in the very beginnings of this blog, Mistress Manifesto.

*** Information on Lady Annabel's volunteer work and philanthropy is from Google AI.

Sunday, March 1, 2026

Saturday, February 28, 2026

QUEEN VICTORIA's MYSTERIOUS DAUGHTER (PRINCESS LOUISE) by LUCINDA HAWKSELY : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

A Biography of Princess Louise by Lucinda Hawksley

This book held some surprises. Not familiar with Queen Victoria, other than to hear she had married her many children into so many noble households that she was called the Grandmother of Royal Europe, I had no idea that she had a daughter who unconventionally married a commoner, Princess Louise. Louise was Queen Victoria's sixth child and fourth daughter. This Princess was an artist and sculptor who created many excellently designed and executed statues to honor her mother which are still on public display. Much of this book is devoted to Louise's artistic achievement.

There's a possibility, certainly the author suggests this as an explanation, that Louise was so unconventional that she actually had a child without marriage that was put up for adoption. (Who might that have been, we wonder, but there is no hint.) Officially, she had no children.

She was encouraged to marry but was hesitant to marry at all, as one man after another was dismissed as a possible husband. What Royal Princess could remain unmarried? She accepted the future 9th Duke of Argyll, Lorne, in 1870. Her siblings and her father, Bertie, were against the match but Queen Victoria prevailed. The marriage was no love match. On her honeymoon Princess Louise took along her dogs. It's possible that while the Duke accepted that she was barren, what might have happened is a sterilization by the doctor who delivered her illegitimate child or simply the birth of that child was too traumatic. It may be that the couple lived separate lives from the start. So why?

While I read the book, I considered another possibility, which the author did not, and that was that perhaps Louise, illegitimate child or not, simply wasn't heterosexual. She would not have been the only person who found themselves uninterested in marriage, or men, or who was married to another person who was not heterosexual, in order to be socially acceptable.