ROSES AND BUTTERFLY IN THE BREEZE

 

LADY ANNABEL VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART BIRLEY GOLDSMITH : MOTHER OF SIX GREAT CHILDREN : POSH AND WITH PURPOSE : ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS BRITISH ARISTOCRATIC MISTRESSES OF CONTEMPORARY TIMES

Back in the day, when I first thought about writing about Mistresses, I was inspired by a few women, one I met, who became a little famous or infamous due to her relationship with a celebrity, another I would never : Lady Annabel Goldsmith. I recall mentioning Lady Annabel's book to some other women who had not read it back then. They, disapprovingly, said, in so many words, "Oh I know all about that kind of woman." They thought that Lady Annabel was an especially bad woman because her high social standing made her an example. Well, certainly her situation was unlike the average American woman who wants a divorce rather than to stay married. Money was involved in her personal decisions, of course, and there was plenty, but some people do stick together for the children to be raised and have a compromise. 

In November of 2009 I elected Annabel as Mistress of the Month, but as time went by I thought I hadn't said enough about her and her book, so I thought to read it again and devote another month to her. That was my plan when I learned that Annabel had died last fall at the age of 91. What a full life she had! Then began my unsuccessful search for a library copy of the book. Eventually I found a copy on Internet Archive, but this month, I'm going to rely on various sources of information to present one of the most famous contemporary British mistresses ever. 

"I'm an incredible mother, rather a good mistress,

 but not a very good wife." - Lady Annabel

LADY ANNABEL (VANE-TEMPEST-STEWART) BIRLEY GOLDSMITH

1934 - 2025

Lady Annabel Goldsmith was born Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, a member of the high British aristocracy. Her mother, Romaine Combe, died when she was a child and her father raised her. When her grandfather died and her father assumed the title of Marquess of Londonderry, she was then 15 years old and became a Lady. Her adult life started out quite predictably and conservatively for her time and social position. She was a beautiful debutant in the and presented to society and to the young Queen Elizabeth. After that debut she accepted the marriage proposal of Mark Birley. When she married him in 1954, she was just 19 years old. Birley, an artistic man, founded a famously posh and private club in London named after her, Annabel's. He made that esteemed club, which exists to this day, his life's work. He womanized, reportedly, and had the opportunity to as the club's ever-present owner. Annabel had three children by her husband and was a stay-at-home mother devoted to raising them. Eventually she met the financier Sir James Goldsmith. That's when Annabel found herself in an alternative lifestyle.

In 1964 or so, she became the Mistress of financier Sir James Goldsmith. She had her first child by Goldsmith while still married to Birley. Eventually, in 1978, she and Goldsmith married. Whatever understanding or compromise Annabel had with these men, the relationship was known to their peers.

Lady Annabel became the mother of Rupert, Robin, and India Jane with her first husband Mark Birley. With Sir James Goldsmith she became the mother of Jemima, Zac, and Ben. All of her children have made it into the pages of Vanity Fair magazine - as well as other media - for their activism, politics, and personal lives. Her children by Goldsmith especially seem to have the family trait of wanting to make the world a better place. Her children by both men are all fascinating people. (Every once in a while I look to see what they are up to, Jemima Goldsmith Khan especially.) Annabel became the grandmother of fourteen.

She wrote her memoir "Annabel: an Unconventional Life" as well as other books of a less serious nature. According to a London Daily Telegraph review of this book, there wasn't a lot of emotion expressed in the telling. But then, I liked that because she was straightforward and without apology. ***

Known for her mothering, which extended to her daughter's friend, Princess Diana (Lady Diana Spencer) when Diana married Prince Charles and divorced, having been a friend of Diana's mother, Frances, too, Lady Annabel was also known as someone who could make a house a home. She was known for entertaining her friends there. She was also known for her love of dogs, a family trait, and her beautiful gardens.

What may be less known is her involvement with causes, her activism and philanthropy, which proves she was not just posh but had purpose in life. This began while a young wife and mother when in 1956, she and husband Mark Birley volunteered in Vienna with 'Save the Children' to help Hungarian Revolution refugees who escaped Hungary and Communist take-over of that country.

Her causes included 'Dogs Trust' and 'Battersea Dogs and Cats Home'. She supported' World Animal Protection' in ending bear farming in South Korea. Her concern for the environment included donating to 'Countryside Alliance,' protecting rural country life, and the 'Soil Association.'  Of course her love of dogs and gardening tied in with these organizations.

Further, Lady Annabel became involved in British politics, in particular the anti-European Union' Democracy Movement' which she launched in 1999 with hopes of educating the British public about the European Union before the elections.

This month we'll celebrate Lady Annabel for her intelligence and sophistication, and for all the love she gave.

*** A version of this post was originally posted November 5 2009 in the very beginnings of this blog, Mistress Manifesto. 

*** Information on Lady Annabel's volunteer work and philanthropy is from Google AI.

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QUEEN VICTORIA's MYSTERIOUS DAUGHTER (PRINCESS LOUISE) by LUCINDA HAWKSELY : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

 A Biography of Princess Louise by Lucinda Hawksley

This book held some surprises. Not familiar with Queen Victoria, other than to hear she had married her many children into so many noble households that she was called the Grandmother of Royal Europe, I had no idea that she had a daughter who unconventionally married a commoner, Princess Louise. Louise was Queen Victoria's sixth child and fourth daughter. This Princess was an artist and sculptor who created many excellently designed and executed statues to honor her mother which are still on public display. Much of this book is devoted to Louise's artistic achievement. 

There's a possibility, certainly the author suggests this as an explanation, that Louise was so unconventional that she actually had a child without marriage that was put up for adoption. (Who might that have been, we wonder, but there is no hint.) Officially, she had no children.

She was encouraged to marry but was hesitant to marry at all, as one man after another was dismissed as a possible husband. What Royal Princess could remain unmarried? She accepted the future 9th Duke of Argyll, Lorne, in 1870. Her siblings and her father, Bertie, were against the match but Queen Victoria prevailed. The marriage was no love match. On her honeymoon Princess Louise took along her dogs. It's possible that while the Duke accepted that she was barren, what might have happened is a sterilization by the doctor who delivered her illegitimate child or simply the birth of that child was too traumatic. It may be that the couple lived separate lives from the start. So why?

While I read the book, I considered another possibility, which the author did not, and that was that perhaps Louise, illegitimate child or not, simply wasn't heterosexual. She would not have been the only person who found themselves uninterested in marriage, or men, or who was married to another person who was not heterosexual, in order to be socially acceptable. 

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DO YOU HAVE A VASE?

 

MARTIN ALLWOOD QUOTATION

"If you do not let love reside in the body it is homeless." - Martin Allwood

THE LAST YEARS OF BARBARA VILLIERS - COUNTESS OF CASTLEMAINE - NOW DUCHESS OF CLEVELAND : THE AGING KING WITHOUT AN HEIR LOVES AND VISITS ALL HIS CHILDREN BY SEVERAL MISTRESSES

1668 : Barbara Villiers moved into her new home with her three youngest children, Henry, Charlotte, and George.  Anne and Charles, the two eldest, were in school. The King visited every day but it was generally understood that the King and his longest enduring mistress, Barbara, were just friends! Meanwhile Moll Davies was set up lavishly and also had a child and Nell Gwynn would soon, in 1670, also have a child. He loved his children and made visits to them and their mothers frequently. It was clear he would never have an heir with his Queen, Catherine of Braganza. The King, in an effort to placate Barbara, gave her another title - Duchess of Cleveland. 

In 1671, though Barbara had begun to take lovers at will, she became the mistress of John Churchill, who was a few years younger than she was. She would have a daughter she named Barbara Churchill. Barbara Villiers was in her early thirties and had experienced many pregnancies and as her children with the King grew up, she became concerned with their educations and arranging marriages for them.

Whatever problems that the King's advisors and friends had caused Barbara and her relationship with him over the years, the King kept on giving them honors and her children were desirable when it came to marriages. There was even a competitive spirit when it came to matchmaking.

Excerpt: ... Arms were granted to Anne and Charlotte, who were made Lady Companions of the Order of the Garter, and all three sons were granted arms, crests  and supporters. 

Excerpt page 153 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Six months after she became a Duchess, the King granted his mistress the house at Nonsuch with its surrounding parkland, with the remainder to Charles and George.... In 1673 her fortunes continued to augment with astonishing rapidity. Camouflaged as usual in the form of gifts to her uncles, the Duchess's new acquisitions included lands in the Duchy of Cornwall, a warrant for 5000 pounds as a free gift, as well as wine licenses....

***

Barbara's husband, Roger Palmer stayed away... Barbara, also concerned with her estate acquired other properties as gifts from the King and her own business dealings.....

In 1685 the King died a natural death, likely heart failure. The King expressed the desire to become a Catholic on his death bed. James II would follow and William III in 1702. Barbara lived through so many historical changes. In 1705 her husband Roger died. They had been married over forty years. Perhaps surprising to everyone Barbara married again, just months after Roger's death to Robert Fielding, another Catholic.  Fielding pursued her and soon enough began to fleece her. Discovering this she raged and he beat her. She charged him also of bigamy but the verdict was that the marriage was void. He got a pardon from Queen Anne. She was humiliated.

In August 1709, Barbara made her will and died within a few weeks of her sixty-ninth birthday. She had swelled with water (sometimes a symptom of cancer) and had finally lost her looks. 

As I survey the genealogy charts that appear on the Internet beginning with Barbara Villiers, I see that one of her daughters is said to have born at least eighteen children.  These days, I do wonder what DNA testing would prove.  Was her last child Churchill's, the King's? 

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BARBARA VILLIERS PREGNANCY CRISIS : A VOLATILE LADY GETS A KING TO BEG FORGIVENESS BUT HE HAS TAKEN UP WITH OTHER MISTRESSES : MOLL DAVIES, NELL GWYNN, AND LOUISE DE KEROUALLE

Was Barbara Villiers on the way out or King Charles II's favorite? Knowing she was living this controversy, Barbara decided to create a situation in which the King would be tested. The two of them did sometimes have a violent argument and this time, pregnant again, the issue was the paternity of the child she was - yet again - pregnant with. The King was having financial problems, his advisors had less influence on him that she did but he had not slept with Barbara in several months, but she insisted that he accept the child.

Excerpt page 105 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Somebody had said that the Countess of Castlemaine in one of her rages was less like Medea than one of Medea's dragons...

***

This time, based on the King's behavior and Barbara's, it seemed like they were breaking up for good. She left the Palace and stayed close by until the King came begging for forgiveness. Meanwhile Frances Stuart, who had married and was now Frances, Duchess of Richmond, came back to London with her husband and was rumored to be back as the mistress of the King.  And other women were being introduced to the King as others attempted to distract him and gain influence, among them actress Moll Davies, and actress Nell Gwynn.  He would also have a son by mistress Louise de Keroualle. Rumor had it, also that Barbara had fallen in love with another man.

Excerpt page 117 from The Illustrious Lady by Elizabeth Hamilton

Lady Castle Maine was not 'frightened' by her new rival. As always, she had come to terms with the situation, she accepted the fact that she must share the King's affection and remained calm. She saw to it that in spite of the new threat from the world of the there she still extracted the full measure of reward for the trouble she took in bearing the King's children..... gossamer Moll and Cockney Nell would never usurp the position that the shrewd and discerning Barbara had made for herself in the inner circles of government and power.

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