BARBARA PAYTON - A TRAGIC LIFE THAT INCLUDED BOB HOPE? CAN'T STICK A MISTRESS LABEL ON HER!

BARARA PAYTON wrote this book, which I was unable to get a copy of and read, so what I'm about to tell you comes from reading multiple web sites that portray Payton as a film noir actress with a sordid life, beginning with being raped at 15. (And when a woman becomes a sex symbol in adult life, such horrible beginnings sexually are rarely identified as rape.) It's a matter of record that she eventually was arrested for prostitution and died young, about age 39, from the consequences of abusing her body with alcohol and drugs.   She wasn't found for a couple days, and she had lost teeth and grown obese and so she was found unrecognizable.

This was one woman who had a life too difficult to cope with, and though she has been linked with Bob Hope, it seems that she has been linked with so very many men that the label Mistress is very difficult to stick on her. at least not by me.

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Barbara Lee Redfield
November 16, 1927 in Minnesota - May 8th 1967 San Diego

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Like Marilyn Maxwell, and Marilyn Monroe,  Barbara grew up to become beautiful, had an early marriage that didn't last long, went from being a small town girl to Hollywood, and attempted to make a career in film. Unlike them, and unlike Bob Hope's wife Dolores DeFina Hope, she was considered trashy from the very beginning, and went downhill. She did not seem to have the penchant for raising herself up out of her circumstances that Monroe, who took classes and became an enthusiastic reader did, and I have yet to meet anyone who would deny that Dolores Hope became a terrific hostess and classy, sophisticated woman.

But an important aspect of defining a woman as a Mistress is her own intentions.  For instance, when in June 2013, I featured JILLIAN LAUREN : FROM NEW JERSEY TO THE SULTANS HAREM TO LITERARY SUCCESS : as MISTRESS OF THE MONTH, it wasn't that she had been a stripper, or had worked as an escort, but that when she got to the Harem it was her ambition to be the best, most wanted woman there, to elevate herself to being a mistress.  She was the mistress of Jefri Bolkiah and then his brother Hassanal Bolkaih, one man at a time.  She says she rose up in the ranks to be the #2 Girl.

Therefore, no matter how many men Barbara Payton had, be they husbands, affairs, or tricks, if she had a Relationship with Bob Hope and the ambition to be his Mistress, then maybe that label can stick after all.

IS 18 TOO YOUNG TO BE A MISTRESS? OR SHOULD SHE GO TO COLLEGE ON HER OWN DIME?

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hey Missy!
I just turned 18.   Am I old enough to be a mistress?  I met someone who wants me.  He says he'll put me through college.  My mom can't afford it.

Jenny
San Diego

ANSWER FROM MISSY

You're "legal" Jenny.  Should I say "just barely?"

There are lots of college students who are making it through with ways and means besides trust funds and parental contributions.  There are always student loans (but many go unpaid.)  There are also in California the much less expensive community colleges where you go for a couple years picking up credits, get an Associates Degree, and transfer from there, with lots of students getting grants, scholarships, working and going to school part time.  I think this is a better idea that going to any technical or specialty college.

There are also students going to the UC's who are working as strippers and exotic dancers and legal but sexual masseuses (which seems to lead to prostitution and porn but not always).  There are some students who have a Sugar Mamma or Daddy who pays all of their expenses including housing, or help as they can afford to.

But few.  All those ads in the back of free newspapers?  Ignore them.  Sadly what's for sale there is usually girls who had to run away from home and are homeless and abused.

So since going to college does not depend on having a mom who can afford it or rich parents and there are ways to go that don't require being someone's Mistress, let's go to the question of OLD ENOUGH.

My feeling is that 18 is way too young.  My feeling is that a woman should not even consider being a Mistress until she's at least 28 years old!  I know it can be argued that age is "just a number" and it's experience that counts.

WHAT KIND OF EXPERIENCES DO YOU HOPE TO HAVE IN THE NEXT 10 YEARS?

I choose 28 because by that age most people have already had some sexual experience and a good idea of their orientation.  The stats say that by then most have married.  Most have supported themselves for a while.  I don't believe anyone should marry until they have lived on their own and been self supporting for at least a year.  Better, with a realistic sense that if they ever have to, they can make it on their own.  By 28 some of your girlfriends will have married and divorced and be single mothers.

Finally, 28 is about when many women start to get the sense that there aren't too many men out there to choose from.  That sense is actually correct but remember that statistics do not predict what will happen to you in particular.  By 28 a certain percentage of men will be sure they are gay so they are not for you!  Many are happily committed in marriage or living with someone they will eventually marry.  If they are happy, then they are not for you!   If they are happy they won't do more than worship you from afar. No one ever said that getting married means you will never ever feel attracted to someone other than your mate!

Then there are the men who are not attracted to you and never will be, even if you are attracted to them.  Again, not for you!  It seems that men count on their attraction to a woman in their choices much more than women.  Still, because of Internet dating sights, even those over 50 are finding someone to be with that they wouldn't normally meet in the course of life.

So I think "give it ten years and see what happens."

From 18 to 28 you will have lived a lot of life, know more - especially about yourself, be more mature, and you can think about what's happened so far in your life and reassess.

I suggest you go to your closest community college.  Explain your situation.  Talk to their Career Counselors and Financial Aid.  Take some tests to assess your interests and abilities. Even if you try it out with just one class this fall, why not try it, even if you work at a fast food restaurant too!  And Jenny, I thought your question was important enough to run my answer here in plenty of time for you to get it together for the fall semester.

Missy

GOLF

Bob Hope Golf Classic was a PGA tour staple and was renamed the Humana Challenge in 2012.  Though a Republican and the friend of several Presidents of the United States,  his Desert Classic Series became sponsored by Humana and President William Jefferson Clinton.  He played on hundreds of different courses around the world and golfing was something that his wife Dolores also enjoyed and something they could do together.  At their best, both Bob and Dolores were very good at golf.

THE SECRET LIFE OF BOB HOPE - DOCUMENTARY and link to BOB HOPE'S OFFICIAL SITE!

BOB HOPE. COM OFFICIAL!  There's a tour of Hope Memorabilia!

 

Just remember, my dear readers, that the good someone does counts too! 

MARILYN MAXWELL - FOUR YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH BOB HOPE - CALLED "MRS. BOB HOPE"

MARILYN MAXWELL
(Marvel Marilyn Maxwell)

August 2 1921 - March 20, 1972

Marilyn Maxwell was a nightclub singer who jump started her career by performing with the OSO to entertain the troops during World War II, became a pin-up girl, and moved into acting in films. She was often the foil for the comedian, be it Bob Hope, Red Skelton, or Jerry Lewis, and deterred comparisons of herself with Marilyn Monroe by saying that she was the blonde with the clothes on.  She was thought of as a "B-picture" actress though her credits run from 1942 to 1971 and include television appearances. 

IMDB FULL MARILYN MAXWELL CREDITS

Called "Mrs. Bob Hope" on the movie lot because they were together so much, according to author Richard Zoglin, their affair lasted four years, and Marilyn may've wanted to marry Bob but you know, Bob never did get around to marrying any of his "Other" women. Marilyn was married three times, according to IMdb, the film database, to MGM actor John Conte, a marriage that lasted two years from 1944 to 1946, then to restaurateur Anders McIntyre, which lasted a bit more than one year from 1950 - 1951, and finally  to writer/producer Jerry Davis, with whom she had a son, Matthew, in 1956.  They were married from 1954 - 1960.

Marilyn and Bob made one film together "The Lemon Drop Kid" in which the now classic Christmas song, Silver Bells, was sung by Bob and Marilyn in 1951.  Seems to me that for some of their relationship they were both married.


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Video added June 2021  From Swing Fever, a film. song One Girl and Two Boys

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OBITUARY FOR MARILYN MAXWELL 

 

Marilyn Maxwell died fairly young of a heart attack. Honorary pallbearers at her funeral in Beverly Hills included Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Jack Benny. You could say that she was well appreciated, even well loved, by the entertainment community.

Was Marilyn Bob Hope's Mistress?

A long term affair with a married man helps qualify her for the title, even if she was married some of the time herself.  Even though it would seem that she had husbands and her own earned income and a career to keep up.  He was far richer than she, and it would seem far more married.

 

BOB HOPE COMIC BOOK HAS WOMEN FIGHTING OVER HIM ON THE COVER

 

BOB HOPE : SO MANY WOMEN SO LITTLE TIME - WHO WAS HIS MISTRESS? SANDY VINGER FOR ONE

 

Simon and Shuster HOPE BOOK Richard Zoglin Video Interview

 

Bob Hope in what appears to be midlife. 

He lived to be over 100 years old. 

Photos of him as a young man are indeed handsome

and one thing that never faded was his smile.

Back in May of 2009 I wrote a post titled "BOB HOPE'S GIRLFRIENDS."  That post got near 3000 hits by July of this year, and I knew this was a topic my readers were eager for.  Back in 2009 I read one book about Hope by Arthur Marx and in 2015 I've finally read Richard Zoglin's new book (above) about Bob Hope.   

I'm not sure if the woman my friend told me about, who lived in walking distance of the Hope's house, is in either book...  I know some of you were hoping I would identify her.  I tried!  It's possible that there was more than one woman living in walking distance from the Toluca Lake home that Hope kept over the years.  Marx reported that Hope had a brother who delivered cash money to various women for their rent.  However, I have a suspicion that the woman was Sandy Vinger, the woman Zoglin identifies as his "last girlfriend" in the 1980's when he was in his 70's, who sued Hope due to promises that he would support her for life. The case was settled out of court in 1994 and Vinger is, well, probably keeping her part of the bargain in not discussing it.  (Didn't I once say that the best Mistresses are the one's you don't hear about?)

Read more: DAILY MAIL - ARTICLE ON BOB HOPES AFFAIR WITH A BEAUTY QUEEN   (This article is a good summation of the contents of Zoglin's book.  Doris Day by the way denies she ever had an affair with Hope.)

Image from Google Images

Be it Zoglin's book or Marx's (and Zoglin disses Marx's book), there is no doubt that Bob Hope was not faithful to his wife Dolores during the 69 years of their marriage but she certainly outlasted and outlived most of her competition - and Bob.  They are buried side by side at the Mission San Fernando Rey De Espana cemetery in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles County.

Bob was certainly loyal to her and she him. 

Here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot we're not so interested in flings, affairs, sexting, hook-ups, "Friends with Benefits," or "Relationships" that are NOT Relationships. We're in the process of defining the word (or label) "Mistress," which I think is incorrectly overused to identify any woman who has an affair with a married man.

So if a star, be it a rock star, or a man who started out in vaudeville like Bob, a man who travels for work, in this case an outstanding career in entertainment, is entertained along the way by even hundreds of women over time, be they groupies or show girls, well, that may be sex, it may be fun, it may be cheating, but it's not the same as that man having a Mistress. 

A Mistress is a Relationship!

My opinion is that if Bob Hope had been born in 1983 instead of 1903, he would be diagnosed today as a hyperactive adult and a sex addict, perhaps even a risk addict.  But maybe all that psychology talk is worthless.  For a high school drop out, who was called "Hopeless" by the other street urchins, who even spent some time in a boy's Reformatory for shoplifting, possibly because of the poverty of his immigrant family home, he certainly learned as he went and turned out to be a superb businessman who became wealthy with investments in undeveloped land.  His career included radio, television, movies, the stage, traveling shows to entertain American troops, hosting the Academy Awards, and accepting very many Honorary Doctorates!

Bob Hope is one man who could have said, "half of success is showing up."   HE SHOWED UP and kept doing so in his senior years.  His schedule would have put most people in their graves years younger than his 100, so I have to ask "WHEN DID HE HAVE THE TIME TO FIT SO MANY WOMEN INTO HIS LIFE?  How much of it, be it via Marx or Zoglin, is even true, granted some of the people who talked a lot to these authors were working with or near Hope?  Bob himself was not one to get too personal with reporters or book authors.

A comparison between the Marx book and the Zoglin book would be that Zoglin is writing years later and at a time when far fewer people alive have a memory of Bob Hope as an comedian who is credited with having invented stand up comedy.  For the reader who is unfamiliar with Hope's sense of humor, I appreciated that Zoglin included some of his lines and his act as the story went so you get a feel for the man as an entertainer   Hope was considered to be a naturally funny man, a positive high energy person who kept things professional by avoiding discussions of too personal issues with clever quips, but someone who acted as a gentleman and happily engaged with his fans wherever he went.  Would not that personality and outlook on life be appealing to women?

Dolores, I suspect, was a whole lot like Bob's mother, Avis, who kept the grim reality of their existence bright with an immaculate house, welcomed guests, and by singing and playing the piano.

Although these days the term "denial" is applied to people such as Avis and Bob and Dolores, I challenge that.  Lots of people have come to terms with how life was or is and acknowledge that; you don't have to live in the past or confess all your private business so people won't think you're in denial!  What is the point if you're going forth and living each day to the fullest?  It takes strength and courage and a commitment to go on at times.

Bob, and all his brothers, had to start supporting themselves and contributing to the family young.  And when Bob met Dolores, he met a young woman whose father had died when she was sixteen who had also quit school and worked to support her family, as a fashion model, as a Broadway Chorus girl who appeared in a 1929 Ziegfeld musical in the chorus line, and as a singer.

That's right.  Dolores Hope was once a showgirl and had a show business career!

Bob pursued her madly.  But Zoglin presents a mystery that all you genealogy buffs can work on.  It seems that Bob and Dolores privately hid his first marriage and divorce and there is no record (yet found) of their marriage, though wedding guest Milton Berle remembered a church wedding in New York about a year after they met.  In the previous pre-digital era, there were so many burned up and thrown away paper archives I think it's going too far to say that the actually never married.

While it seems that Bob Hope, his employees, reporters and media, in general, may have kept secrets from the public and his wife, I wonder how much Dolores did or didn't know or understood. For it turns out that Bob and she were in touch with his first wife, Louise Troxell, his vaudeville circuit partner, for years!

While we feel confident that Bob Hope had lots of sex outside of his marriage, the KNOWN women who most qualify to be called his Mistress, are very few.  Sandy Vinger is one of them, and this month I'll keep poking around to identify more!


Missy

C 2015 All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES - BOB HOPE's THEME SONG

This was the first that Bob sang the song that became his theme song.
(Shirley Ross wasn't Bob's mistress.)