THE THEFT OF CHOICE : SPECIAL EDITION of MISTRESS MANIFESTO FEATURING CASSANDRA PETERSON

The inspiration for this month's excruciatingly uncomfortable subject is the story of her rape in the memoir Yours Cruelly, Elvira by Cassandra Peterson, better known as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. You may be familiar with the character of Elvira, who years ago started out a long stretch as the hostess of late-night scary B-movies on television, some of them laughable, especially if you were in range of Los Angeles stations. Prior to becoming known as Elvira, Cassandra had what might be called a colorful life, which I'll get to in a moment.

I'm not a fan of horror or scary films and can't remember ever staying up late to watch the show, but I knew about Elvira the way I knew about Angelyne, who I elected as Honorary Mistress of the Month in October 2010, long before she was outed by a mysterious character and then a biopic was made of her life.  If you lived in Southern California in those days then you knew she was around.

Angelyne's mystery was how she could afford to be on so many expensive billboards all around town, how she could afford all the cosmetic surgeries, how she could afford pink sports cars, one after another, and spend so much time driving around Los Angeles and being seen. (She certainly did not seem to have a regular job or much in the way of actual acting work. She did manage to record some music...)  There were always whispers of mysterious benefactors. A friend of mine who had his moment of fame decades earlier and interacted with a number of people in entertainment told me who everyone said Kept Angelyne, which I've never revealed. Just about everything else he had ever told me about various show business people had checked out. But let me get back to Cassandra.

While Angelyne may live 'in character' and be famous for being famous, Cassandra Peterson, who as Elvira in some way got associated in some people's minds with Angelyne, played Elvira as an actor, keeping her private life private but not in a downright secretive way as Angelyne did. Some reviews of Peterson's book mentioned that finally she was getting personal. And she did in her memoir, including about her rape.

Of course Mistress of the Dark uses the term Mistress in a way that I do not here at Mistress Manifesto. Defining Mistress is one of the goals of this blog as we learn about so very many for whom a label such as Mistress might be right. Overall, however, the term Mistress implies a woman who is in command, if not of others, than of her own life, which can also seem to be ironic and contradictory, since in so many novels where Mistresses or Kept women or Courtesans are the main character they are actually subject to a passion that makes them sin.  

When I search for books that are non-fiction in libraries to read and consider for inclusion here, I always encounter hundreds of fictive books in which the Mistress is a character.  Sometimes I think there are hundreds of such books for every one that is non-fiction. Why, I ask myself, are all these novels written, sold, and read?  I think it's because many women do have the fantasy of being in a relationship outside of marriage.

One of the aims of Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot is to to look at the realities. We ask how did (and do) Courtesans, Mistresses, Kept People, Groupies, Harem concubines, and just plain women who have affairs with men who aren't free to marry them, live their lives? We wonder if, as in films, the 'bad girl' is always punished by society or fate.  We do this at a time when people are more open in general about who they are and what they want, and sometimes what they want falls into the category of Alternative Lifestyle.

We love the idea that we have Choice, but how much Choice do we have?

To review the book Yours Cruelly, Elvira:

Cassandra Peterson grew up with an abusive narcissistic mother caused her much pain and a beloved father who did not defend her. She grew up in a lower-middle class home where there was no talk of careers or college for her. She was a Beatles-maniac and long live rock and roll! She became the youngest showgirl in Las Vegas at the time; her parents signed their agreement. She's been Sex Positive and never shy about showing off her physical assets, in particular her breasts. Meeting Elvis Presley, who gave her some wise advice, was the highlight of her life in Vegas. 

Attempting to support herself as she took bit parts and background work, Cassandra Peterson went to Italy where she had some experiences that could have turned out worse. Destitute and squatting, ripped off and escaping a criminal lover, she ended back in America. In Los Angeles she decided to add her natural sense of humor to her bawdy personae. She took classes with the Groundlings comedy troop, which she eventually was invited to join. She and a partner wrote the comedy scripts for the horror show evenings she hosted

In her personal life she was not shy about having sex and didn't hold herself to traditional values. Not religious, she favored the Ernest Holmes Science of Mind way of goal setting. She also lovingly accepted gay men as friends, coworkers, and co-creatives. For a long time she-who-would-someday-be-known-as-Elvira was just scraping by, even when she had room mates or lived with a man to keep the cost of living down, even as she paid her dues and took her acting and improv classes, even as she sought agents, went on auditions, and took rejections.

When I first saw the book as an offering as an e-audio book and an e-book at my library, I thought, what the heck, I'm under no obligation to read it if it turns out it's no good. But it was, surprising so.  First of all, I love e-audio books when the writer/author reads their own work. Cassandra does, expressively, and humorously.  She's frank. And I was surprised at how much I was enjoying the book and could relate to her as a human being. Even if I personally would be far too self conscious to ever be a showgirl, I could certainly understand how much she loved music, how big a deal meeting Elvis and having a good conversation with him it was. I could certainly understand about being true to one's art, even if it didn't pay.

So when I got to Chapter 15, entitled You'll Never Work In This Town Again and she started reading/speaking about it, knowing already that she had been propositioned many times, had been sexually harassed, had been offered work in exchange for sex (in Hollywood called 'the casting couch') by sleazy men, I was unprepared to hear that she had, after fending off and surviving so much, been raped. 

So, this month as a Special Edition here at Mistress Manifesto, the focus is Rape, which is the Theft of Choice and so horribly common, and so hateful towards women, I swear sometimes I think castration should be the punishment. 

Thank You Cassandra Peterson for inspiring this Special Edition.

Cassandra Peterson was married for twenty five years and suffered six miscarriages before finally having a child at age 43. She had long been involved in LGBTQ Rights but had to adjust when she herself fell in love with another woman. When her book came out in 2021 she was seventy years old and had been in that relationship for 19 years. As an activist she has also been involved in PETA anti-fur campaigns. She is also for the Me-Too Movement and is vocal about having been verbally and psychologically abused not only in her childhood, but also in her marriage. 

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You might be interested in reading: ANGELYNE THE BILLBOARD QUEEN : RUMORED MISTRESS OF THE MONTH is in the archives for October 2010

P.S. I'm not suggesting Petersen has been a Mistress or a Courtesan or a Kept Woman. Her memoir does not suggest it.

 

MAZE

 

BLAME IT ON MY YOUTH : CHET BAKER

MARIA LACZYNSKA WALEWSKA and NAPOLEON'S EX WIFE EMPRESS JOSEPHINE BECOME FRIENDS : NAPOLEON GOES INTO EXILE and MARIA DIES

Josephine, Napoleon's now ex wife extended an invitation to Maria Walewska that they should meet.  Obviously during her passionate romance with the Emperor, Maria had hoped to someday, perhaps when her man was done with war, to have a domestic life with him, to become his wife perhaps.  Whatever her feelings for Josephine, she had avoided contact with her. Now the two women had Napoleon's ongoing influence in their lives in common.  And so Maria went, with the small son that she had with Napoleon to meet Josephine.

Excerpt page 192:...  Mademoiselle Avrillon, Josephine's lady-in-waiting, recalled in her memoirs that 'the ex-Empress developed great affections for Madame Walewska.  She often talked of her unusual qualities and went to great lengths to stress that this woman, so essentially kind and good-natures, had never caused her any pain.  She set her frequent small gifts and showered presents on the little boy, whose features so reminded her of the Emperor.'

Josephine was only to live another year, and Maria would live another four.  But before she passed, Maria met a cousin of Emperor Napoleon's Philippe Antoine Ornano, a newly appointed general, age appropriate, good looking, a charmer with a good character. She would marry him.

Napoleon was finally defeated enough to be forced to abdicate and had to go into exile in Elba, Italy. He'd tried to commit suicide with poisons before he signed the agreement and Maria had traveled to see him in Elba. She intended to live there with him and their son if he would allow it and even brought her jewels in order to provide money.  The lovers once again had a romantic interlude but when the word got out, Napoleon panicked and sent Maria away.

Eventually Naples became the place that Maria lived.  It was a part of Europe that was enjoyed by many of European's nobles and aristocrats, because of the weather and because they could meet up with each other. The winter warmth, boating, hunting, and celebrations abundant.

In 1815 Anastase Walewski died.  Napoleon fled Naples.  Maria went back to Paris with their son.  She married Ornano in early September 1816 and was soon pregnant. In January 1817 she arrived back at Walewice, Poland and there was found to be seriously ill with kidney disease. She had been warned in her previous two pregnancies not to breast feed because of this kidney problem but had anyway.  Now her health was precarious.  She gave birth in Liege in 1817 to Rodolphe Auguste Ornano, her third son.  She died at thirty one, in December of 1817.

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A FOREST FLOOR WITH ROSES AND A BUTTERFLY by JOSEF LAUER

 

Josef Lauer was born 1818 in Vienna. He studied at the Academy of Fine Arts in the class of Sebastian Wegmayr, Joseph Mössmer, Thomas Ender und Franz Steinfeld. Lauer focused on painting still lifes with flowers and fruits, where he was the first depicting floral still lifes integrated in landscapes. His first exhibition was 1840, then he showed his works in different exhibitions also at the Austrian Kunstverein. Since 1861 he was also a member of the Viennese Künstlerhaus. He lived and worked solely in Vienna.  Josef Lauer died 1881 in Vienna.

MARIA LACZYNSKA WALEWSKA and NAPOLEON BONAPARTE : THE BEGINNING OF THE END

After  months with Napoleon in Austria at the Schonbrunn estates, the time came for Napoleon to move on.  She was pregnant with his child, and he was ready to quickly divorce Josephine.

Excerpt page 139:  On the last day before her departure from Schonbrunn she presented Napoleon with a ring, a gold and enamel band with a lock of her hair entwined under the surface and inscribed: "When you have stopped loving me, remember that I love you still.' It did not cross her mind that their idyll was nearing its end.

***

Maria was depressed and near a nervous breakdown, her pride wounded too, when she realized Napoleon's machinations.

There is no doubt in my mind that Maria's husband must have been contacted.

Except page 143: In April (1810), in a ceremony of golden splendour, the Emperor (Napoleon I) married Marie Louise of Austria.  Maria Walewska learned about the event from the newspapers. She was back in Poland by then, living at the castle of Walewice (her home as the wife of the owner), as in the first years of her marriage - invited there by her husband, to await the birth ' of a Walewski descendant.'

How had this surprising reversal come about?  Walewie was the last place Marie had expected to return to for the birth of Napoleon's child.  She had planned to have the baby in Paris, but after a few weeks in the French capital she sadly came to the conclusion that it would be less painful for her to withdraw from the scene and return home to Kiernozia.  The truth was that she had become an embarrassment to Napoleon...

Maria had known that he was divorcing Josephine but... Napoleon had an intermediary speak to Maria's husband, who was seventy-three years old, and was open to doing Napoleon a favor. Her family luckily greeted her with open arms.  She gave birth to Alexander Florian Joseph Colonna Walewski on May 4, 1810, and he would become the Foreign Minister of France decades later.  The birth record states the Walewski is the father and is signed by the doctor.

Alerted that he had a son, Napoleon sent a gift of lace but then for three months she heard nothing from him.  Napoleon finally wrote to her, but he called her Madame. He asked her to come to Paris and assured her of his affections.

***

Maria had been married when she became the mistress of a married man, who had now remarried.  In November of that year, Maria took her two sons with her as well as maids, cooks. nurses and other servants and traveled to Paris.  The Parisians had liked Josephine and their attitude was that Napoleon should have just stayed married to her.  Napoleon did not want her womanly love any more.  Paris was to be her permanent home and this time around she would not shy away from society.

***

Excerpt page 152-153:  He ordered that she be received at Court and treated as a distinguished foreign friend, and of course it was right, according to the custom of the day, that he should handsomely provide for her and their son.

As if to compensate Maria for the change in their relationship Napoleon saw to it that she was installed in Paris in princely fashion.  The house i the rue de la Houssaye was refurnished in elegant Empire style, and a country residence was acquired for her ... Free tickets to all Paris theaters were put at her disposal, and she had her own special box at the Opera and the Theater re Francais.  She was also granted free entry to the various museums in tow,... According to the records of Napoleon's Private Purse, she received a monthly allowance of ten thousand francs, a handsome allowance by all standards... Sometime in 1811, Maria was presented at Court and had to meet Napoleon's wife. Soon Napoleon would war with Russia. He was in his early 40's and was showing his age.

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In 1812 Napoleon decreed that the estates situated in the Kingdom of Naples would be given to his son, Count Alexander Florian Joseph Colonna Walewski...  In his way Napoleon I did in fact take care of his ex mistress and his son. In fact she was now a rich woman, rich enough to provide funds to the Polish military. In this way, her allegiance to the Polish nation which had been an impetus for her involvement with Napoleon.  However, after Napoleon was forced to abdicate the King of Naples took back the lands so that this son was left without estates. In 1814, however, the lands were returned to Alexander.

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STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHT WHO WILL BE MY LOVE TONIGHT?

 

MARIE IS INSTALLED IN THE CASTLE and THEN FOLLOWS NAPOLEON TO HIS HEADQUARTERS IN PRUSSIA and THEN TO PARIS

Napoleon and Marie corresponded. Her letters have not survived. But from his, which he often signed Napole, we know that there was love and that he was capable of tenderness.  As word got out that she was Napoleon's mistress, Marie had many visitors who wanted to meet her.  Her life became being at home with her husband and going to the castle to see Napoleon, where she went with his full knowledge. Her mother was fine with her daughter's involvement.  Her brother was assigned to be her escort.  It's said she was the only one who felt guilty about breaking her marriage vows.  However, I think it's possible that she was simply trying to save her reputation. She reminded of his promises to Poland.  After a terrifying battle in defense of the fortress of Konigsberg that ended with over 15,000 dead or wounded, it was decided that he would retreat to his new winter quarters at Osterode in east Prussia, and he suggested soon she would come to see him.  The place was called Finkenstein.  However, once there, it soon became clear that to be summoned to his Napolen's Paris resident was the key to the survival of their relationship.

Excerpt page 84:  For Marie, the decision to rejoin Napoleon at Finkenstein must have been an act of supreme courage.  The risk involved was enormous.  In Warsaw the 'affair" could still be contained as long as appearances were kept up. She was protected by the solidarity of her class and the universal patriotic fervor for the French.

Excerpt page 93 : Marie was twenty years old and had not, until now, known the meaning of love.  Whatever romantic stirrings she might have felt for young Suvorov must have gradually been erased by her three years of marriage to an old man. In Warsaw she had suffered from shock, when her long-idolized hero was suddenly transform to a  aggressive lover.  Though her newly awakened body had instinctively responded to him, it nevertheless took a long time for her mind to catch up.  There was also the feeling of guilt towards her son and her husband, and the knowledge that she had sinned in the eyes of her Church. It was all very confusing.  (Suvorov was the young man she had romantic feelings for as a girl, before her arranged marriage.)

Excerpt Page 103: On 29 July he found time to write to Marie.  Her nameday and the day of her patron saint, the Virgin Mary, fell on 15 August.  This was also the day of his thirty-eight birthday.  He wrote a tender and affectionate letter, telling her how much she was being missed and that he would 'soon' ask her to join him in Paris. With the letter he send a diamond and sapphire bracelet and - an even more precious present - a medallion with his portrait on it. Marie deposited the bracelet in a drawer but pinned the medallion on her dress, where she would be conscious of it all the time  He confidence was restored. She now knew that it was only a question of time before she would be summoned to Paris.

Marie was summoned to Paris in the new year of 1808.  She stayed about six weeks before returning to Poland for a spell. Paris required that the shy and quiet Marie become more fashionable and up to Napoleon's taste for his entourage. She was not known for her love of splendor. She saw him here and there.  She had become a woman who waited for her man's attentions. Yet she also knew that he was away at war and that various military campaigns were being fought.

She lived for two years at a small eighteenth century house at rue de la Houssaye in the Notre Dame de Lorette quarter of Paris.  It was her residence until 1814 and then moved on to the rue de la Victoire.  However, her days as Napoleon's mistress would come to an end .