APPLES TO APPLES

APRIL KIRKWOOD: THREE DECADES AS MISTRESS OF SINGER FRANKIE VALLI of THE FOUR SEASONS

The intimate story of April Kirkwood, a Mistress of the singer Frankie Valli, of the "Jersey Boys" group, The Four Seasons, who has loved him practically all her life -  30 YEARS - forever  - is one that challenges our definition of Mistress, confused it with Groupie, and confounds it with issues of legality.

In this era of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein scandal, in which both were and are accused of sex trafficking and having sex with numerous women under 18 years old, which is the age of consent, we have to question "what is statutory rape?"  I'm not suggesting April was sex trafficked by anyone or that she was raped, but the question of consent is large. And also, I'm aware that historically and in some places on this earth, 14 year old girls get married.

We know that Groupies have had sex with Rock Stars when they were under 18.  We don't confuse them with women being pimped or sex trafficked to men they have not chosen, especially because groupies go after these sexy musicians and singers and they don't file complaints.  It seems they felt they had a choice. Let me say that I once knew a Groupie, who grew up and never seemed to regret her under-age liaisons, which included running away with a famous band. Her parents knew where she was and didn't stop her. She continued to be sexual with men in music almost exclusively until she married her very own music man and has been in a good and surprisingly conservative - faithful - marriage, ever since.

I wonder though. Did Frankie have April confused with a groupie?

Frankie Valli, a tenor lead singer of a group that had it's roots in the hard streets of New Jersey and the Doo Wop era of the 1950's, had a series of number one hits with The Four Seasons in the early 1960's.  Some of these songs are the most romantic ever.  I can imagine being in the audience and feeling the lead singer was just singing to me.

Frankie met April when she was a child. She says she first saw him on stage at age six or seven and first met him at age eight. Their affair began when she was sixteen,  her first affair, and yes, he was much older.  In interviews she says she had Daddy Syndrome.

Today she sees her family, her mother in particular, who she says had a personality disorder, as influential in presenting her as a child Four Seasons - Frankie Valli fan.  When the group came through the Youngstown, Ohio town area where they lived, She and her mom were sure to go to the concert.  April has a photo of herself as a child gaining the singer's attention in full fan regalia; obviously she did not create this outfit herself.  She was not a groupie, but she feels she was, in so many words, groomed by her mother in particular, to find this relationship with a famous man acceptable.

She says that after sex, Frankie would give her "fatherly" advice such as telling her not to have sex with other men, to not do drugs, and to keep up her looks. This affair went on for three decades, off and on, an emotional roller coaster ride.  She says she still loves him, though in a different way.

April Kirkwood went to see the Broadway show, Jersey Boys, and she realized she was part of the history. She decided to write her book and three years later it was published and she started doing interviews.  We'll look at some of those this month - her own words.  In one video I watched she made it clear that the headline "Frankie Valli Took Me at 16 and Used Me in Decades Long Affair", which appeared in 2015 in the New York Post, does not reflect what she herself said, and that is not her attitude. She does not feel used.

April Kirkwood is a professional therapist at this time in her life.  As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) she has a master's degree and is trained to work with individuals, or families, or groups, to treat mental, behavioral, and emotional problems. She also has a Masters in Education, both degrees from Youngstown State University.

This former Miss Ohio is an accomplished woman and a mother. She has videos up that give women advice on YouTube and her own website to counsel women. However, unlike many therapists, there is a metaphysical aspect to her which includes the belief in twin flames, soul mates, reincarnation, and destiny. Though her mother is described as having a personality disorder and grooming her, she also says that her mother had emotional struggles of her own, that she could cry for hours, and that she herself also advised love and forgiveness.

Maybe her attitude of gratitude makes April a perfect November Mistress of the Month, since this is the month of Thanksgiving here in the United States.

Missy

C 2020 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

Research for this blogpost includes watching YouTube videos of April's promotionals as well as interviews and articles published on line, a couple of which I will link to and excerpt this month.

YOU'RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE : FRANKIE VALLI and the FOUR SEASONS

DO MORE DEMOCRATS OR REPUBLICANS KEEP MISTRESSES?

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hi Missy, with the election coming, I was just wondering if more Democrats or more Republicans keep mistresses?

Rod

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Republicans.

A number of POLITICAL MISTRESSES - Mistresses of Politicians - profiled here were women who worked for the men they were Mistress to.

CHECK THESE OUT IN MY ARCHIVE!

Rielle Hunter - and John Edwards  June 2012

Carrie Phillips - and Warren Harding  November 2012

Elizabeth Ray - and Wayne L. Hays  November 2016

Sally Hemmings - and Thomas Jefferson  July 2018

Missy Lehand - and Franklin D. Roosevelt October 2019

REPUBLICANS HAVE MORE MONEY.  They may simply be sneakier, have more cooperative wives, or pay off their mistresses when they are done with the relationship... and my guess is since they have more money, their Mistresses get more spoiling!

Speculation!

Missy

HER HUSBAND WANTS TO BE HONEST, LIVE SEPARATELY, and HAVE SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Dear Missy,

I'm going to admit this is not my problem, but there's been a lot of talk about this husband in England whose wife just gave birth, and who wants to be half out the marriage. He wants her to approve his getting his own apartment and living there during the week where he can have sex with other women. He says he will not get emotionally involved with them. This woman will be stuck raising two children on her own and expect him only to be part of the family on weekends. Also he says that she is allowed to date but not have sex with other men.  You may have seen this in the news?

I think it sucks.  What do you think?

Marilyn

New York


ANSWER FROM MISSY


Hi Marilyn

I think this man has been one foot out of the marriage for some time and waited out the pregnancy.  The timing sure is bad. However, people who want out of relationships, men and women, often wait out pregnancies and other life events and crisis, such as the serious illness of a partner, waiting until the youngest child is out of college,  or - until their lawyer says it's a good time.  I so wish our youthful ideas of what relationships are all about were not so idealistic.

It's not unusual for a person to have an affair or affairs looking for another partner before they feel ready to divorce.  That may be rather cowardly but it's not unusual.

We really don't know if this relationship was ever any good.  We don't know how this wife treats her husband. Sure pregnancy, birth, and motherhood can be difficult, but maybe she's abusive. Maybe he can't meet her demands and expectations. We don't know if the children were planned.  Many of us were not.  It can still be good.  But unplanned children are sometimes not affordable children.

Maybe he thinks being separated like this will actually preserve this marriage.

Maybe he thinks he's doing her a favor slowly going away.

And yes, I think it would be better to have a Mistress he cares about than a lot of meaningless sex only encounters, especially because of all the VD and STDs.

It sounds like he's too controlling.

I doubt anyone can guarantee another person that they will not get emotionally involved with anyone else, sex or not.  I wonder what he might reveal to the various women he expects to get into his bed at the apartment; will he tell them upfront that they are only their for sex and not to get emotionally involved with him because he won't with them?

Certainly she should not agree to a relationship that is only Open for her husband.  To me, she should be able to also have sex with anyone she wants.  But I bet she won't.  I'll bet he knows that.

I also suspect that this is a plan of his to gradually divorce.

At best he is confused.

So he should see a therapist and she should see a lawyer.

Missy

BULIMIA : YOU'RE NOT WELL WHEN YOU MAKE YOURSELF THROW UP

BULIMIA COM - an AUTHORITATIVE SITE

Not too long ago a friend from highschool and I were talking.  She said she had been looking at some old photos and I was so thin.  I was.  I had a high metabolism and I also had a busy life.  I was naturally thin.  And to this day dieting will not work for me.  Calorie counting will not work. I absolutely have to keep moving to stay thin-ish.

Long ago I gave up on being my high school weight.  I'd look ridiculous.

I know what my old friend was trying to get at.  She wondered if I'd been thin due to bulimia or anorexia and I had not been.  She however, had a mom who was regulating her diet.  I recall she fainted a couple times.  Her sister, whose diet was also regulated by their mother, actually passed out in a snowbank and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Learning that our Mistress of the Month, Susan Mary "Shoe" Taylor, was bulimic by the time she met the man she would become a long term mistress to in 1978, Jonathan Guinness, an aristocrat and beer brewing heir, I wondered if all her adventures and misadventures had been too hard on her, destroying her mental health.

Why did she need to be too thin? Was she basically a trend follower?  A fashionista?  The reason I wonder is that bulimia is often associated with women who want to be "fashionably thin" which is "model thin" which is "hanger thin" - I mean way too thin.  After a while a woman looses her ability to see herself in the mirror as she really looks.

As women age especially they need some weight on, some fat.  I believe this strongly.  As your estrogen wanes it's your fat that holds it.  You need that to protect your bones. That's my belief.

Bulimia can wreck your physical health beginning with your teeth which rot away from all that vomit.  So save your bright and beautiful smile and say OK to looking womanly. Check out the link!  There's lots of authoritative information including a Bulimia hotline!

Missy

PEACE DOVE

SUSAN MARY "SHOE" TAYLOR's OBIT TELLS THE STORY OF A ROLLER COASTER RIDE LIFE

TELEGRAPH UK - OBITS - SUSAN MARY TAYLOR  She died in 2003 at the age of 58.  She was known as the long time mistress of Jonathan Guinness, who had become Lord Moyne.  She had three children with him.

EXCERPT :

Susan Mary Taylor (known as "Shoe") was born over her father's butcher's shop at Oldam, Lancashire, on July 26, 1944.  As a child, she helped out in the slaughterhouse: "The slaughterer slit the carcass down the middle, and pushed the steaming insides, or rops, towards me.  My Job was to pick the rops, pull each part away from the slime which holds it together, and put it in the rips bucket, separating the large intestines from the small, the stomach from the throttle." Meanwhile, her father told her "Don't forget the maggots"

OK, we're all going to become vegans...  Missy