Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

THE OTHER WOMAN an ANTHOLOGY : BOOK REPORT BY MISSY

THE OTHER WOMAN

21 Wives, Lovers, and Others Talk About Sex, Deception, Love, and Betrayal


Edited by Victoria Zackheim C 2007 Published by Warner Books



Zackheim rounded up essays from some of America's most talented female authors, and beyond the intimate candor of these mostly personal stories, what I love about this book is the luscious language that rolls off the tongues, swirls out of the pen, and makes it from brain to fingers on the keypad to be delivered to you!

Maybe YOU are the Other Woman?

Pam Houston: "Let's say that in San Francisco the painter had called the relationship with the Other Other (yes two others!) a light bulb relationship. You know, on again, off again."

Dani Shapiro: "I have been living the kind of unbelievable life people glide through in airport novels..."

Nancy Weber: "She knows she must send him home to his wife better than she received him like a borrowed car returned washed and waxed and brimming with high-test gas."

Maxine Rhea Leighton: "You are a schnorrer" my mother screeched repeatedly, using the Yiddish word for cheat or a parasite who takes from others as if it were his own."

Thursday, October 15, 2009

MISTRESS Q and A (From our e-mail or comments)

"Anonymous in Texas" asks : "How can I tell if the man I want to be a mistress to is going to be really generous ?"

Missy: "First of all determine if this man is generous in general. For instance does he give to charity and if so, is it just for the tax deduction or to feature prominently in society, or does he really believe in the cause? If he's the type to believe in a cause, see if he really believes in you.


"Don't outright ask him for money or anything else. See if he responds to a crisis you're having by offering to help. For instance one Mistress reported to me that she knew the man she cared about was generous when her wallet was stolen. He bought her a new wallet and put some cash in it. No not a whole lot but it was symbolic - and he also handed her enough to pay for a cab to get her to the DMV to report her license stolen and get herself a new one ASAP. That's a good sign."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE : HELEN GURLEY BROWN by JENNIFER SCANLON

The book in C 2009 and an Oxford University Press publication... on CAPITALIST BARTER OF SEX FOR MONEY page 170-171




"Browns loyalty to the free market extended beyond the workplace and into the far more intimate arena of sexuality. She viewed women's sexuality in the context of Capitalist exchanges, where those with the money had certain degrees of power and those without tried to negotiate as best they could. For Brown, feminism could improve women's bargaining position, but it would not ultimately take sexuality, any more than it would take 2work, outside of Capitalism's reaches. With Cosmopolitan, Brown would create, market, and further a female sexual marketplace in which both the inequities and the pleasures of a liberated sexuality within Capitalism system would become apparent and open to negotiation. She offered readers articles such as "Never Be Faithful To A Married Man," and "What If?" a piece about what sexual relationships would be like if there was no bartering system in place, "with women trying to get to the highest possible price for their wares (marriage, a continuing annuity) and men working for bargains." The acquisition of sexual freedom for women was, as far as Brown was concerned, tied to the marketplace for better or worse.

"Many critics of Cosmopolitan concluded that Brown's cavalier attitude about women trading sexual favors for dinners or nights out promoted the prostitution of women. Brown herself then fell into line with the most radical of feminists, who were considering the ways in which marriage itself mirrored prostitution. "Many a woman who is married is in a sense a prostitute," she claimed," in that she accepts presents, money, automobiles, country-club memberships, trips to Europe and the good life from a man she can barely tolerate in bed." As for women who accepted things from men they were not married to, Brown wrote, "I feel she's less of a prostitute than the married woman who hates the bed relationship." Brown refused to call her "girl" a prostitute. Her lover was simply, "making her life better," than it was. As Brown saw it, "In a way, we're all prostitute." Helen Gurley Brown's politics was steeped in political and economic understanding of sexuality. steeped in personal observations and experience, and it made many people, including many feminists, uneasy."

Missy here: MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER !

Monday, October 5, 2009

MISTRESS OF THE MONTH COCO CHANEL

A movie from Sony has just come out in the last couple weeks called COCO BEFORE CHANEL. Now People Magazine hates it, and other reviewers like it, so I thought why not just link to the official web site for the movie and let my readers browse it? Chanel lived from 1882 to 1971 and is known for her massive influence on women's fashions, moving us out of those garments that threatened to not just mold our figures but hurt our bones, into comfortable and easy.

There probably isn't any woman whose interviewed for a serious job that hasn't donned at least one Chanel-inspired dress-for-success suit or dress.

Coco wasn't always an extremely demanding mistress of fashion though. She started out a working poor girl - a shop girl - who had a rich lover or two who would not marry her because of the difference in their classes. Having read a book or two on Chanel, since she fell in love, it must have been heartbreaking for her to be refused marriage.

But ever practical, she got the funds she needed to start her own shop.

UPDATE 2020 : Since this original CoCo Chanel post, Coco has become one of the few Mistresses that I've featured TWICE, two months. You can find the posts using the search feature embedded in this Google Blogger, or look through the archives to find those posts.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

VIOLETS FOR THE WIFE ROSES FOR THE MISTRESS

The owner of a flower shop told me that on Fridays the Mexican men were buying violets for their wives, but also roses for their mistresses. Now to me that means, the violets for the sentimental love, but the roses are for the real love of the moment (if not the real love of his life!)

Do all Mexican men have mistresses? Probably not. It takes more than charm to have a mistress - and keep her.