DESPITE TUBERCULOSIS TWENTY YEAR OLD MARIE DUPLESSIS HAS ILLUSTRIOUS AND RICH LOVERS INCLUDING ALEXANDRE DUMAS THE YOUNGER

1844, and lasting a year, Alexandre Dumas "the younger" was twenty, like Marie. He could not support her and could not deal with the facts of her life, that she was a Courtesan and had other lovers.  He was too jealous and perhaps too in love. This man immortalized Marie when he used her as inspiration for a novel he published in 1848 which was called La Dame aux Camelias by Alexandre Dumas the younger. (She loved that flower.) The book may very well be a romantic fantasy in which Dumas also is a character. In 1952 the book was turned into a play and then the play inspired the opera by Verdi called La Traviata.  La Traviata translates to The Fallen Woman. 

La Traviata is currently the most performed opera in the world. Marie's life, perhaps because she died so young, is a tragedy. 

Perhaps it is the book and the play and the opera that has made Courtesan/ Mistress  Marie Duplessis famous, for there were others we have heard about and many others we have never heard about and never will.  This blog depends on the books and other information on those who became famous but some say the most successful Mistresses are the ones we never hear about.

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THE MOST SUCCESSFUL MISTRESSES MAY BE THE ONES YOU'LL NEVER KNOW ABOUT : BETTER TO BE NEVER MARRIED THAN DIVORCED?

In search for Mistresses of the Month (and other Kept individuals) to feature here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, I've come to the notion that the most successful mistresses may be the one's you never know about.  

Why?

To start, many relationships that are Alternative are kept secret through discretion simply because those involved know that they don't want or need condemnation as they are outside the "normal." Pressure is (still) strong not only to be married but stay married (more so in certain cultures.) People feel this not only because of family values but because of their careers. For some not being heterosexually married is (still) a career issue.

I recall sitting with some women friends at a café one Saturday morning years ago and the discussion was "Is it better to be never married or divorced?" I thought it was better to be never married. My friends felt that it was better to be divorced. Divorced meant to them that you were looked upon as a normal person who wanted marriage and so, you failed. Better to have tried this traditional coupling and be known for it.  Better to have lost at love than be perceived as having never loved.

Since then I've met people who have been married many times. Someone I worked with married five times and had children with each partner. (He tended to be the type who let women choose him and be the ones who pursued him as well. He was OK with step fathers taking over the fathering. Maybe he saw himself as a sperm donor for career women?)

The other day a man was telling me that he had "lived with" several women. In five minutes he explained a love life that went on for many years, seven live-in partners, no children.  When I said "Wow you're a cat with 12 lives!  Married seven times!"  he made a point of correcting me. Those live in situations were not marriages. It was as if he was saving himself for marriage.  I did think there must be something wrong there.

Here's what I was thinking. How seven women may have thought that if they lived with him they would become married to him. How, if that was what they wanted in life - marriage - they wasted their time on him. How many mistresses who have been with one man outside of marriage for years have more stability, more love, a better life than their peers who are living with men who will not marry.

I think mistresses should live apart from their men, have a life outside their extramarital relationship. Any man who keeps a woman aside of his marriage should understand that and help her make that happen.  (If you're a mistress reading this, please do not live in isolation and waiting.)

This month I was thinking about Lady Walker (Jewell DiAnne/Dianne Walker) and how little I was able to find out about her. 

Obviously there were many people in Houston society (high society) who knew about her and J. Howard Marshall II, and that was probably true of his family, possibly his wife, his friends. But to this moment, it is not too easy to learn more about her. If her daughter had not written a book, all we might find out is the public information about a lawsuit. Though this relationship was happening for the most part before the Internet, if she, he, and that society were not more discreet, she probably would have "made the papers" in those years.

Consider that some of the other women profiled here who lived years earlier than Lady did "make the papers" accused of immorality, gold-digging, or held at arm's length by society.  Newspapers intended to shame them or make them infamous.  Some of these women wanted to be famous because they were self supporting in careers in entertainment. 

How many Mistresses have continued their relationships without becoming known or do now?

I don't think we'll ever have reliable statistics about that.

Missy

C Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot 2022

PLAYING SECRET BENEFACTOR IS JUST THE THING TO DO WITH YOUR EXTRA MONEY

There are so many places seeking unpaid workers (volunteers) and there are so many worthy non-profits to send (potentially tax-deductible) monetary donations to. 

Sometimes I think the best way to give is when you get no credit or recognition other than perhaps a personal sense of satisfaction that you helped someone. Since we still have cash, may I suggest that you play secret benefactor to a friend or relative or stranger with it?

The first time I did this I was visiting a distant relative. She had just enough to pay her bills but I knew things were a bit tight for her during the holidays when she could not afford to give her grandchildren more than token gifts. The family wasn't materialistic. They were devout Christians who felt there was no reason for Christmas without a belief in Christ. Still, children are children and love getting something unexpected. So I went to visit during a small get together, used the bathroom, and tucked cash money behind some items in her medicine cabinet. She mentioned the discovery of this money to me a few months later on the phone. I didn't confess.

A friend sent fifty cash dollars in an envelope to her friend who was going through a divorce in a Christmas card.  Her friend said "someone" had done this and "forgotten" to sign the card.

Another friend owed $250 to a man who had been a platonic friend when he went and paid her storage unit at a time when she was ill.  It took her a while to earn the money she owed him and during that time he had met and moved in with a woman and their platonic friendship had ended due to his interest in this new love.  After some time she learned where he lived.  So she hired a delivery man to go there and ask for him.  When this man who had been generous and helpful came to the door.  The delivery man handed over a small Christmas box with $500 in cash in it to him. 

You don't have to be rich to play Secret Benefactor. If you have many young nephews and nieces, sending them a handmade Christmas card with even a dollar or two, can be a big deal for them, some money of their own to spend as they please or save - in that gumball machine.

I had an elderly friend some years ago who himself had not a lot of money. His daughter would give him $20 once in a while, expecting he would go to a coffee house and sit a while, using the money for coffee. He never failed to buy a coffee for someone else - usually someone he saw hanging out without spending. He remembered being a "country bumpkin" who had gotten stranded in a big city overnight in his youth and having to ask strangers for money so that he could have something to eat while he waited for his dad to come get him. I'm sure he has been blessed for his kindness to others.

Playing it Forward can also be rewarding. I volunteered recently at a bake sale where there were lots of goodies for children.  A man came in and handed me $10 and said to give the next ten children a free goodie on him.

I know you won't have to think too hard about being a Secret Benefactor... it's FUN!

Missy

(Try to research organizations that ask for contributions so that you know a bit more what you are supporting with your money.  A Non Profit porthole type site for your state may be on the Internet.)

Missy