MEN WHO TELL WOMEN THEIR FINANCIALS UP FRONT : OPINION BY MISSY

Dear Missy,

I'm a secretary and don't make a lot of money. Presently I find myself of interest to two different men and they both say they are Christians which is important to me.

One of them is a retired divorced business man who I met at the marina. He wants to start another business.  When we met we spent a couple hours talking and he told me a lot about his life. He said that he beat cancer but that his will was made and his great granddaughter gets everything. He asked me a lot of questions and I answered though later I regretted being so open. He asked me where I lived three times and I managed not to give an address. I gave him my e-mail and he quickly wanted to phone call instead, something I'm not much into. He suggested a walk, I agreed to meet up someday and when I did not want to spend time on the phone in the evenings, he backed off a bit. I'm all for taking it slow. That's why I like Christians.

The other is someone I know has admired me from afar for a while. We finally met up again because I started hanging out at his favorite coffee house. I didn't know it was but there he is. One day he sat with me and told me his story, that he's on disability and this had prevented him from marrying and having children in the past. It is a physical issue and I wasn't turned off by it. Talk about taking it slow, he flirts with me some times, but he doesn't actually ask me out. I admit this is the one of the two I feel more comfortable with, when there is actually one to one time.

I've actually met many men recently who upon meeting ask personal questions about my finances and are self revealing about theirs - the ex got the house - the children get their money. I think it's the influence of social networking and everything on the Internet.  What do you think?  And, who should I choose?

Maggie

Pensacola

ANSWER FROM MISSY

If the disabled man is actually willing to court you, I'd give him a chance.

Maggie, I think it's uncouth behavior to be talking finances up front like that, and you do not owe any stranger any details of your finances whatsoever or to give out your address. I'm not for revealing your private information on social networking either.

The rich man sounds like he wants to make sure any woman he meets is not after him for money. He should find himself a rich woman who thinks like he does and also has her will made.  Evenly yoked, then they can go dutch. 

If you are a woman who needs or expects some financial support from a man, well he may afford more expensive dates or take you on trips, but marriage? Maybe because he's Christian he will either marry you or not, but then he'd have to break his promises to his grand-daughter and she could be traveling the world while you sit out your old age. 

As for phone calls instead of going on dates, I don't like it. If you want to lay in bed in your nightgown and talk to your friends for hours instead of getting together, so you do, but phone calls instead of dates saves money and effort and you don't get to know what it feels like to be with the other person physically.

The poor man sounds like he wants to make sure any woman he meets knows there is no money. However, there are still lots of things to do that don't cost much so that shouldn't stop him from asking you on dates. If you want to date him, stop going to that hang out of his where it's so easy for him to see you around. He should ask for alone time with you. Flirting can be fun and just for fun but if he's testing your interest in him, after a while you just want to go on a date or two and go from there. 

Don't drag this out.

Meet more men!

Good Luck!

Missy

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