Hello My Readers!
I saw an article in Daily Mail UK's Online version in which one of their experts - a woman - gave some of the worst advice I've heard about how to "detect" a cheater. She thought people who were trying to hide their phones at dinner tables were suspects and that if a person looks around a room while with you, there's a problem. Her ideas were so much nonsense. So I'm going to tell what I think.
The expectations this person had for first and early dating were actually EXPECTATIONS for a committed relationship and even then I don't think she's reasonable. Maybe if it's love at first sight or a whirlwind romance, a person might feel they're in seriously - but almost no one has such expectations when they are DATING.
If a person is not in committed relationship which has been discussed and agreed upon by both, THEY CAN DATE ALL THEY WANT. They are not "cheating" on anyone. That's that.
Some people also have agreements with their partners about what is or is not cheating.
Why is it called cheating? Because it is assumed that our partner deserves to get everything they want and need from one person - you - and visa versa.
Now, HAVING A CELL PHONE AT A RESTAURANT OR PRIVATE DINNER on a table is common but RUDE. You're not hiding the phone by keeping it in your pocket or bag and off the table. You're trying to be focused on your dinner, your guest.
Your phone is your private business. I actually think you should not be looking at someone else's phone any more than you would search through their medicine cabinet at a party or go into their private papers while house sitting. I think everyone needs and deserves some privacy, even when they are MARRIED.
Being jealous and grabbing someone else's phone to see who they just talked to or what numbers they have in their phone? RUDE. RUDE. RUDE. (You might even drive them to cheat!)
And if you're on date with someone and they seem to be paying more attention to those who are walking by instead of you, maybe they're looking for the waiter. If they are cruising, it may be a bad habit, and nothing more. It's possible they're not so into you but that still does not mean they are a cheater when committed. There are a lot of people cruising to see who is beautiful or handsome or exciting.
I had a platonic friend, a male, who did this when he and I were out. But in truth he was actually stuck in looking and not having relationships at all.
So, if you have not discussed being in some form of committed relationship, realize that at some point you need to discuss being committed mutually and openly and agree or not. You need to express your expectations for faithfulness - or not. For those of you who are sleeping around thinking that it's going to lead to true love, maybe it will or won't. Don't assume you are in a committed relationship just because you're having sex and until it's agreed upon that you are exclusive with each other, NO ONE IS CHEATING.
So tuck away your phone as a way of showing respect for your dinner partner and if you have a habit of watching who is coming through the door, try a seat facing the other way.
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