HOW COURTESANS TOOK ON MALE PRIVILEDGE FOR THEMSELVES

One of the fascinating aspects of Katie Hickman's book about courtesans, which focuses on the women of England who came into this lifestyle, is her reportage on other aspects of a courtesan's lifestyle. She reports on finances, on contraception, and on the character and personalities and values of the successful courtesan.

Wilfrid Scawen Blunt moved on from his fraught relationship with Catherine Walters in Paris.  When it seemed that his association with Catherine would cause scandal, his boss removed him to another diplomatic post.  He was considered an eligible bachelor and even became the unsaid fiancee of a young woman whose parents approved of the match but, reminded of his love for Catherine and seeing how it compared for his feelings for this other woman, he was unable to make the proposal.

These excerpts from pages 308 and 309 have much to say:

"In many ways Blunt's behavior was not at all unusual for a man of his class and times.  The ability to separate what he himself would call "practical romance" from either idealized romance or sexual conquests was a perfectly acceptable way for a man to conduct his affairs, so long as he was discreet: and Blunt who later quite consciously made the decision to marry for money, saw no shame in it. ..."

***

He was aware of the double standard - one for men - another for women.

***

Page 309:  "It goes without saying that when women tried to emulate this masculine behavior it became an "immorality" for which society could not forgive them.  The only women who were in some measure outside these constraints were courtesans.  The penalties melted out by society could not touch the demi-monde (although some would say that being part of this shadowland , was the penalty) and as a social group they were thus almost uniquely free.

It was not just sexual chastity that was the issue here, but also, by extension, a woman's whole autonomy. Blunt, who in his way, was in many ways a forward thinker about women, never really blamed Catherine for her promiscuity, or even for the fact that she accepted money for it (although he did not like it).  His blame was for something altogether more subtle, something that he himself could barely articulate: the fact that she could accept him as a lover, but still desire to keep her independence from him. This was the really tormenting fact for him about their liaison. And it was this which, in his eyes, made her 'unvirtuous.'

Ask your self this question (and maybe you'll want to leave me a comment) :  Do you compartmentalize one relationship from another and why?

C Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights