One day I went to the store down the street to pick up just a few small items and when I got there I encountered one of those unexpected sales you can't resist. I figured I'd manage to walk home with my purchases which were more bulky and awkward than heavy. However, I soon enough realized I was struggling to keep holding onto the plastic bags that were slipping out of my grip.
On this walk home I encountered three men, all neighbors who I had met and talked to a few times, none actual friends.
One of them yelled across the street at me, "Why didn't you get a cart?" And kept walking. His tone was critical and he was totally unhelpful and in my area one does not leave a lot with a cart.
The next man saw me and kept walking without saying anything to me, just waved.
The next man came up to me and said, "Can I help you with your packages?"
Guess which one is a GENTLEMAN?
OK, so basically women, men have, even as little boys sometimes, sought to be HELPFUL to a woman who is struggling with packages, could be helped by opening or holding a door, or other small efforts. (Even offering to carry your grade school books home!) If a man is attracted to or interested in a woman he may actually look for the opportunity to make efforts to help her just to be noticed by her. So men, if you are interested in a woman and you notice that she could use a little help, doing so may just be what makes her interested in you.
I wanted to find out more about these three men.
One of them has always worked but of late had been through a few that he quit rather than have a new boss try to train him a new way. He was divorced and had supported his children but had no one special in his life. Previously he had flirted with me.
Another of them lost his business after the building he was established in was slated for tear down and was temporarily living in his RV which is not uncommon in my area. He had never been married and was without any children to support but had been, I learned some time later, in many relationships through the years. It's not that being NMNK (never married no kids) is indicative of anything wrong with a person. It's a choice. Let's just say that in his case he might have wanted to be free of responsibility.
The one who offered to help me was married, had two children, was working full time and going to school at night to slowly earn his Masters so he could get a better job and support all of them better. Yes, he is the one that offered help, and as he was not interested in me he was doing so because he is nice and not to impress me enough to go out with him.
Women, a man offering you a little help like this does not damage your independence or feminism. This is about a person offering another person aid, being helpful and kind. You too can be a GENTLEPERSON.
There is nothing wrong with testing the men you have in your life, as neighbors, associates, co-workers, and friends, as lovers, boyfriends, by asking them for some needed help around the house or some other effort and seeing what their response is. Then you can decide which ones are KEEPERS!
Missy
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