Monday, May 2, 2016


This wonderful and other such videos can be located at YouTube:
photos are Identified as being taken by Earl Leaf
(I love the one of Marilyn and the Leaping Little Dog!)
(Norma Jeanne Baker)
(1926 - 1962)

A while back I made a list of women who were not mistresses and I put Marilyn Monroe on that list.  So let me start out by explaining my error. 

I've read so many books over the years about Marilyn Monroe (and people surrounding her, including the Kennedys), books based on research, interviews, speculations, theories, and interpretations, of this most fascinating woman.  I've read more books about her than almost any other celebrity, and considering that, until recently, I never saw her in a movie, that's saying something!  (I finally did watch a couple of her movies on DVD, and while I see how talented, sexy, and well she did in them,  I tend to think of them as set ups for song and dance. What they did capture was her sparkle, her allure, you could even say, her light.)

I'm perplexed by Marilyn Monroe.  I seek to understand her, while not a fan. I came to the opinion that Marilyn was, at various times, a free spirit (promiscuous), ahead of her generation when it came to sex without marriage, a woman who had many affairs and sometimes more than one lover during the same general time period, a pin up and party girl.  I also came to believe that she'd been on the casting couch and that she might have even been prostituted (or chosen to) at some point in her life. She also had other hard womanly experiences such as painful periods, endometriosis, abortions, a miscarriage, and her own emotional and mental issues aside from a unstable childhood. She had been aimed into a teenage marriage that didn't prove to be the refuge that she would spend a life trying to find in other marriages.

She posed for nude calendars for the money and admitted it.  She was on the cover of the first Playboy Magazine; that magazine's founder, Hugh Hefner, plans to be put in the vault next to hers when he dies.  She might have been bisexual, or at least experimental, but perhaps her many marriages testify that Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jeanne Baker) really wanted to be married. Her lack of success with marriage might also testify that she didn't really want to be married, as in with one person her whole life.

Marilyn came out of nowhere. How orphaned she really was is a question, but it is true that her mother spent much of her life in a mental hospital. When Marilyn was married first young, almost as a solution to Marilyn as a problem, no one, not her mother, foster parents, or far away family, could financially support her for long.  I've met many people who admire her more for that than they ever could an actress who came from somewhere.  (One gentleman I met actually broke down and sobbed when we were dining out, after I asked him which actress of his youth he loved the best.  "Marilyn, because she was an orphan like me!" he said.)

So as a married teenager with a husband away at war, she went to work in Burbank, California, in a factory, as part of the World War II effort. 

She modeled.  She didn't make enough to pay the rent and keep a car and take classes she needed to develop her talent.  She worked ambitiously to be discovered and to develop that persona that wasn't Norma Jean.  One critique I read of her said something like, "Marilyn only had sex  (i.e. with men who could help her career) so she could WORK."

She may or may not have been murdered or overdosed accidently on pills, and as time goes by the idea that she had affairs with President John F. Kennedy, while he was in office, and maybe also his brother then Attorney General, Robert Kennedy, too becomes more accepted as truth.  (She is called a Mistress of the President.  Wrong.  She was just one of his many affairs.)  She was friends with stars like singer Frank Sinatra and she associated with Mobsters - as in the Mafia. She named a pet dog Maf, as in Mafia.  Her early and mysterious death helped make her an icon, someone who's image is sold and resold over and over again..  Marilyn Monroe became more famous after death than she was while she was living.

But I was wrong that Marilyn Monroe had never been a MISTRESS, a Kept Woman, and now that I know more about that relationship, I see she quit it because she just wasn't the type.

the primary reference for this month
Of all those books I've read, it's this book I'll be excerpting from this month, a book about Marilyn and her relationship before, during, and after marriage with Joe DiMaggio, as we focus on a very early Marilyn Monroe, circa 1949-1950.  Joe was aware he was dating a woman who'd been with lots of men but he was jealous - a bad combination.  Here we find a Marilyn who was loved by her agent, Johnny Hyde, a man who wanted to marry her, and left a long time marriage for her, but she refused.  She lived with him at his home, was supported by him, and he did all he could for her career.  He believed in her. And then he died.
JOHNNY HYDE : The man who kept Marilyn was Vice President of the powerful William Morris Agency. 
He was so short that not-so-tall Marilyn towered over him.
Marilyn's height is also a question but I'd say 5'7.

 FIND A GRAVE - Johnny Hyde - See pics!  His Find-A-Grave profile also has a picture of him dancing with Marilyn. 
Marilyn Monroe, a "sex-goddess" and a more determined actress than she is often credited for, seems to have never found anything close to lasting happiness in any relationship.  Despite her unstable and impoverished upbringing, one not so unlike what many children experience today,  despite her beauty and talent and personality, she became a drug addict - to prescription pills.  In my opinion she was also the victim of psychotherapy and psychiatrists who should have lost their licenses if not gone to jail.  She suffered great pain in her 38 years, probably more than most people could bear, this is true.  Though she and Joe DiMaggio were one of the most famous odd couples ever, it is also my opinion that he may have been the only man who truly loved her - besides Johnny Hyde, though he was also obsessed, wanted to change her to suit him and, once he'd lost her, eventually, tried to be more flexible.  For she had agreed to remarry Joe, as this book presents.  Their wedding day was to be, on that fatal August 18th when she died instead.  Though he is known to have sent roses to mausoleum regularly, soon after her death, when Marilyn was there in place in her crypt and his business with the cemetery was over, he visited there for the last time.
LINK to the OFFICIAL MARILYN MONROE WEB SITE with lots of information including quotes by Marilyn (many of which I suspect she wasn't much invested in.)

*C. David Heymann, the author, passed away in 2012. 

C 2016  All Rights Reserved Missy Rapport/Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot
Including Internet and International Rights.

Thursday, April 28, 2016


Dear Missy,

I'm a wife whose husband, who I'll call John, has a mistress.  I did a Yoko Ono a few years ago and encouraged him towards a particular woman, Stephanie, I liked.  He moved out into an apartment and she moved in with him, which I wasn't expecting. 

We've never talked about getting a divorce.  I didn't want an Open Relationship, I just thought that having an adventure might be what he needed for his life, and I expected him to come back to me.  I was real generous, right?  I needed my space too and have enjoyed it, but now I'm feeling lonely.  I think I have a better perspective on our relationship and can improve on it.  Now that this situation as gone on like this for a year and a half, I'm starting to regret it.  Stephanie's content or at least isn't pressuring him to divorce, at least that's what he says, but I want him back.  I also don't want to beg.  I'm miserable.  What have I done?  What should I do?

New York City


Well, at least you own your role in creating this situation, which is an Open Relationship of sorts, and which was once satisfactory but now has you so worried.  At least you and the Other Woman, of your own selection for him, know about each other.  My sense is that you felt in control at the time but now realize you really are not. 

If you want him back you should not hesitate now to say so as a first step in doing so.

You must talk with him openly and honestly, but that doesn't mean you are going to go into the conversation unprepared or go on and on, detailing.  In fact you are going to script it and practice in the mirror before you meet. The most difficult thing to do is to keep it short and sweet, state your case, don't overrun your time together, and basically just put an option on the table and then see if he goes with it. 

You have the advantage since you are not going to warn him that the reason you're going out for dinner together is to discuss your relationship.  He may be stunned or it might force him to realize that he does want a divorce.  Oh my. 

It's time to go out to dinner or lunch - a neutral space - to have a conversation.  So don't ask him to come home and make him dinner.  Provide your own transportation going and coming. Pick a place where the waiters don't hover and they don't kick you out the moment you've finished your meal, preferably with intimate, low lighting and booths, or maybe one of those outdoor patios, no loud music but maybe some background, and preferably where no one you know might see you and want to listen in and then gossip.  Pick a place that serves drinks; One before the conversation, unless either of you are prone to overdo it and shouldn't imbibe.  Plan on being there no more than an hour and a half.   Set up your scenario while appearing effortless. 

Order one drink, wait until the food is served, have a few bites, and then look him in the eye and tell him the truth.   These are the lines that you practice in the mirror.  Something like, "John, I have something to say that may surprise you.  Being somewhat separated as we are has given me time to reflect on our marriage and I've surprised myself.  Without getting too much into it right now, the fact is I fear that you are more involved with Stephanie that I could have ever imagined when I urged you towards her.  The fact is I want you back, and to be only mine. Will you think about it, dear?"

At this point your heart will probably be pounding, but so what, love is like that, so long as you're not crying and running your mascara!

Let him talk.  If he changes the subject, don't bring it back up. Don't use this dinner to get into the entire conversation or sort it all out.  Some other time. Don't end the date with your own husband asking for an answer in a certain time limit.

Wait a month before you bring it up again, if he doesn't.  Then tell him you were just wondering if he's given it any thought.  One of the things he's going to think about is if he should also discuss this all with Stephanie and my feeling is that they are living together and of course he should.  Also, if he does decide to rejoin you in traditional marriage, Stephanie should not be cruelly abandoned. (The way John Lennon did May Pang, the mistress of the month here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO, in April of 2012.)  Stephanie probably knows that you urged him towards her and now she has invested some of her life into John and may love him.  He may also love her.  Or both of you.

If you have money, and she does not, it would be honorable to provide her the means to move into another apartment so that she's not stuck in one with memories and if she is not working, several months of living expenses - a year would be better - while she job hunts - should be provided.  If Stephanie agrees to leave the relationship, she may still have feelings for John.  Be a Great Babe and do your best to help her move forward without being overly invasive.  Can you give her some references to good employment?  Know any good men you could introduce her too?

I know of a couple that divorced and both of them remarried within the year. To their best friends!  And they are all still warm and affectionate with each other and even go out to dinner the four of them from time to time.


Tuesday, April 26, 2016


I was wondering if any of you who are reading this blog have been a mistress who married her man.  If so, please leave a comment and tell us HOW LONG DID YOU WAIT TO MARRY?  Was he married when you met?  Did he divorce to marry you?

Thursday, April 21, 2016


NOTES and EXCERPTS from Catherine Meyers' book BORN TO BE KING

In this book we learn it was mutual friend Lucia Santa Cruz who, in 1971, introduced Charles and Camilla with the jest "Now you two watch your genes because of Alice Keppel."  The genes comment is because its possible they are distant cousins. 

page 97

"Only Camilla has ever been able to be herself fully around the Prince because she has nothing to hide from him. Robust and cheerful, she entered the relationship free from neurosis and, ironically, from any expectation of being Queen"

page 98

"With Camilla, the Prince would eventually develop his first - and arguably, only truly adult relationship, combining love and passion, respect and equality, plus a sense of humor that often leaves both of them guffawing and weeping.  Camilla is "Rude and raunchy" says actress Emma Thompson, approvingly.

Actress Emma Thompson provided information to the author of this book and is considered a personal friend of Prince Charles.

Saturday, April 16, 2016