Thursday, June 22, 2017

WARDROBE WAKEUP by LOIS JOY JOHNSON : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW


DO YOU WANT TO APPEAR AGELESS?

What does it mean to be a "woman of a certain age," especially because we're living into our eighties now? Well, this book focuses on age 40 plus and the realities of aging on the human body. Fat redistributes giving you a tummy. Your breasts may get fuller or sag. You may or may not have money to spend on designer clothing and accessories, cosmetic surgery, or other alternatives to being mysterious about your age.

This book does have some assumptions. For instance Lois Joy Johnson, the author, and many of the models and opinion-givers photographed here are rather thin women. Or their weight gain isn't substantial looking. So I didn't see a model in the book who appeared to be "plus sized" or fat.

And while the book says it's a good thing to "cross-shop" and buy some things cheap but upgrade the entire look with more expensive accessories, overall, the author is speaking to the woman who has a closet full of clothes, some that were expensive, who needs to do some self evaluation about how she currently looks in the clothes she already has.
There are  some things I disagree with Lois Joy Johnson on, so let me get those out of the way.
The nude or flesh colored shoe, particularily a heel, elongating the look of a leg because it matches the flesh; I think this is a fashion look that's now dated. I don't think you can really fool anyone that you've grown a few inches wearing a "nude" shoe color - and I dislike shoes that seem not to match the color(s) of any of the clothing you're wearing.  You won't find any "nude" shoes or purses in my closet.
While wearing monotone clothing, or wearing V necks may elongate the look for photography, when I'm out and about and I see a woman wearing monotone or V necks, I'm not fooled that she's taller.  I may think though that she has conscientiously put together her look.

Secondly, I dislike the reliance on form shaping underwear. There is an old fashioned word for form shaping underwear - "foundations."  Maybe today's are better because they are made with miracle fibers but they are still "girdles" to hold in the tummy - slightly.  I recall as a child coming in contact with a horrible rubber one that a relative of mine had in her drawer for emergencies and that "ewe what is that!?" feeling as I pulled it out and stretched it. I agree with her that a good bra that actually fits is a necessity and that you need to be refitted frequently but most women I know try to avoid wearing them because they can be painful. Many women prefer camis and only wear a bra when they must!   I do believe such underwear can sort of smooth your shape, but it's also usually extrememly hot, even clammy, to wear. Better some exercise or diet and 100% cotton against your private parts!


Now, if I didn't think this was a very good book and worth your reading time, I wouldn't even post it here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT! I think the advice in this book is for anyone who wants to have a decent basic wardrobe, regardless of age, if you want the basis of that wardrobe to be classics, fine tailoring to fit (or refit) your clothing (a tailor is essential to add life to those items that you paid a lot of money for back when the shoulder pads were in), and learning how to appear modern not matronly.



Here are some of this fashion-insider/author's best advisements:  
Update your eye glasses every year - they are jewelry for your face.
Buy white t-shirts and underwear cheap because no matter what you do, they will loose that fresh white look from laundering. 
Buying dresses is usually overall a better idea than skirts and matching tops, because dresses can hide your body better, especially if you pay attention to the pattern, which should be swirly or floral. 
Your posture is extremely important, as is your energy and your smile.
Check out the many web sites that Johnson refers you to, and you'll be more educated about fashion and what's right for you, and might even influence today's designers who are also looking at these sites, trying to adapt to what women really think and want to buy!

To me 40 is too young to give up on some of the clothing that is suggested you be done with.  Instead, I ask "What is your physical shape and good attributes and where are you going?"  If you have great legs, I see no reason you have to have your skirts and dresses near the knee, not on you day off, or when you're going to a seaside resort, not even if you're 60.  You may want to think of animal prints in natural colors staid, when you have Zebra rainbow colors to wear with your jeans unless that's too matchy-matchy with your daughter!  And maybe your complexion is such that you really can still wear girly-girl pink and not look like one of those little old ladies with round marks of blush.
You too should read any fashion or beauty book with a strong sense of who you are and what you do or don't agree with! 


Missy
C2017  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

WOULD YOU SUPPORT LEGAL MARRIAGE FOR MORE THAN 2 ADULTS?

Only if one of them can prove they can AFFORD to?


I wonder, if it was legal to be married to more than one person, how many people would stay married instead of getting divorced, and just marry a second person, or even a third.

What about people you meet who've been married MANY times?  Why do they keep getting married?


You comments?


Missy

Monday, June 19, 2017

SWEET DREAMS and FLYING MACHINES by MARK RIBOWSKY ; MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW


I read the entire book though there are only two references to our Mistress of the Month, Evey, who is called Evelyne in Mark Ribowsky's book.  She's identified as a Japanese dancer here, and just has to be the same woman.  The book mostly dwells on Taylor's music career, long time drug addiction, and psychology. 
I found what the author had to say about Evelyne as well as Taylor's being "highly skilled at the art of deception," as he managed his public personae and reputation, and hid his long history of using drugs and alcohol from the public, though it was only too well known to his friends, family, and the mother of his children, Carly Simon.  It's always quite interesting to me how many co-dependents such a person has, but it sounds like Carly had gone to many psychiatrists seeking help for him and them.  You can say that she has been a devout mother and did for a long time attempt to stay married.
Chapter 19, called Never Mind Feeling Sorry For Yourself, is where we find mention of Evelyne.  The scene;Taylor and Simon have a baby son who is sickly and has to have "delicate and risky" surgery. "During the unbearably tense and frightening hours he was in surgery his father (JT) wasn't there because he was driving his latest plaything, a Japanese dancer named EVELYNE to the airport." (Carly was furious and when he did show up at the hospital. Her manager Arlyne Rothberg saw him and started to scream at him to get upstairs at the hospital.  He did eventually arrive and was bedside as the child awoke from surgery.  Prior to this he sat alone outside the hospital alone and "zoning out."


..."Before going back on the road," JT "thought nothing of trading in the dancer for an actress, Kathryn Walker, with whom he now began spending most of his time." (He would marry Walker.)* 


She, Carly, and his first serious girlfriend of note, called Maggie, were all slightly older women and you could say sophisticated and accomplished women.


The author, though he has spent many chapters explaining that Carly Simon was being driven crazy by her husband, seems not to favor her in the end because he doesn't see her as forgiving enough.  Would I?  No way. I think this author gave us plenty of reason why Taylor was so difficult. I know from other reading that he and Walker did divorce, he met and remarried and had twin sons with another woman, his third wife, and now in his seniorhood seems to have learned to live authentically and soberly, and may have come to terms with his past.  However, in my experience and opinion, some people do leave others with lasting, life-altering pain, even when they themselves reach the point of being sorry they lived that way.  Maybe forgiveness is then over-rated!  Missy


*I read this one on e-book, and on Overdrive.  I found these passages on Evey at approx. pages 1681-1686

Friday, June 16, 2017

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Nonconfrontation of Wives

"It's his place to deal with his wife, not mine. "


I know that when I use the word "SHOWDOWN" in a blog post title it attracts hits.  And oh, people love the "cat fight" between two women fighting over one man, hating each other like that, and maybe coming to physical violence.  A few years ago a couple Chinese women Kept by the same man went at it, someone posted it up on YouTube, and it enjoyed a lot of hits.  However, if any relationship you're in makes you get that mean and nasty, that physical, with another person, it's probably not a relationship for you.


Frankly, some men like women to fight or compete over them.  It doesn't have to be a wife - mistress situation.  I've always loathed people who go out of their way to try and make me jealous.  Sometime it's all more subtle - or maybe the term "passive aggressive" would be better - and the man just wants his ego stroked by one or both of the women he's dating or seeing or something - to reveal their passion for him. This type of person plays two people (or more) that he's involved with at the same time just to create such a situation.


However, when you're a Mistress, your place is aside your man's marriage, and sometimes your presence helps him stay married, but coming between them is never a good idea.


Yes, many a woman feels the need and right to confront the Other Woman, who thinks she is the Other Woman.  From what I've read it's even possible that the First Lady, Jacqueline Kennedy, gave a little phone call to Marilyn Monroe.
I'll never forget the time when I and my 20-something best girlfriend drove to the mall because she wanted to confront her Other Women. She and her man were not married, engaged, and hadn't even had the "going steady" talk.  No ring!  However, when she found out that the man she was sleeping with was also sleeping with this Other Woman who worked at one of those kiosks all alone, we were on our way.  I stood back as she went up to her and said, "I just want you to know X is sleeping with me."  I could see this Other Woman was shaken.  First of all, even if her boss wasn't around she was at work.  Secondly, what could she say?
Now I'm more mature and if I have a friend who thinks doing something like this is a good idea, I would tell her I think not.
You have every right to stop having sex with another person and every right to break it off with them if your needs are not met.  But when he is married, that's his marriage, not yours.
So even if his wife shows up on your doorstep, my advice is to tell her she needs to deal with her husband.  I know it may be incredibly difficult to understand and to keep your mouth from going off, especially if you have good reason to Hate her for him, but really, it's his place not yours to deal with his wife.  Besides, she's probably at least as nice as you!



Wednesday, June 14, 2017

THE SHOWDOWN BETWEEN MISTRESS EVEY and CARLY SIMON (part two)

From CARLY SIMON'S memoir BOYS IN THE TREES


NOTES: Carly Simon decided it was time to meet the woman that her husband was keeping in an apartment she had never been to, one that he used for rehearsals. After walking the streets of New York City in the dark, stopping at 2 am at a Cuban restaurant, where the waiter tells her that JAMES TAYLOR and his Mistress also come in there.  He advises her to Love her husband. She arrives at the building in the middle of the night.  When she lets herself in with the key she secretly had copied, she hears a woman wailing and one of James' favorite pieces of music being played on a stereo from the 4th floor apartment.  Before she can use the key again, the apartment door opens. 


There stands Evey, who at first mesmerizes Carly with her beauty but also physical difference.  Carly can't help put compare her hands and feet.  The woman invites her inside.  No doubt tipped off that his wife is on the way, this encounter which Carly is determined will be civilized, not a cat fight, proves that her husband has betrayed her beyond the physical.  Evey is angry with her for James and ready to tell her off.


Seeing a razor blade, the notion of suicide passes through Carly's mind for a moment until she remembers she has the responsibility of her children.  It is clear, after hearing all the lies that James has told against Carly, lies that Evey wholeheartedly believes, that the Mistress is not the problem.  As I read this excerpt, I had to feel so sad for both women.  Read by e-book in Overdrive, I've referenced the pages.



EXCERPT: 
"She stood there, hair in her eyes, which were wide with what I interpreted as terror and angst.  The woman before me, Evey, was tiny and muscular.  She wore a black leotard, dance pants, and small "dance slippers - size four, I guessed.  Her torso was beautifully molded and her hands were white, perfect, not a single mark on them, only a band on the fourth finger.... 1719-1720 e-book (Missy here: What hand? Is this a wedding type band from Jamie?)




EXCERPTS from 1721-1722-1723-1724 e-book :
"I'm trying hard here," I said.... "I want us to be the best we can both be."


"No you're not," she replied in her broken English.  "Jamie doesn't love you.  Don't you know that?  He calls you a JAP - and he told me you buy big Mercedes Convertible, and drive around California trying to be a movie star, but you're not pretty enough." She continued in this vein, "Jamie had told her that I built a swimming pool because I couldn't bear to step on any seaweed or any rocks beneath my feet, where real people go swimming.
Jamie had also told her I disliked the feeling of sand and that if any got in the house, I would take a bottle of spray clearner out from under the sink and spreay out all the sand as if it was some dangereous fungus.  Hmm... not a bad idea. ...


EXCERPTS 1725-1726 e-book
"He says you spend all day shopping and buying fur coats and that you are dressing up your children just like you.  He tells me you nurse your little boy still and that he will grow up to be a fairy." Evey's voice rose, "And don't thick I don't know the difference between "fairy tale" and "Fairy."


EXCERPTS 1727-1728
"He says you don't really sing well and that you spend all day getting bikini waxes so you look good for all your rich boyfriends who spend planes for you all over the world...He says you won't even notice when he is out of the house because you're so in love with your diamonds and fancy shoes and you try them on in front of your mirror.  You are a party girl.  You are a bitch.  A city girl, a lazy playgirl.  What did he call you?  Yes - a swashbuckler - that's it."



Saturday, June 10, 2017

JIM MORRISON PATRICIA KENNEALY and PAMELA COURSON TAKE A REST

Although MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT has received over 25,000 hits on the first post I made in March 2014 on the subject of this trio, featuring the knowingly man-sharing Patricia and Pamela, and I appreciate that, I feel that the search engines are featuring the post, while so many other Mistresses and Mantresses I've written about here go unread.  As a result I decided to take the unprecedented step of taking down those posts, at least temporarily, because - because I can!  Please indulge yourself in many of the others - Mistresses - Mantresses - and the People who Kept Them - featured here in posts.  I promise you more interesting people are coming up!  And ask yourself, AM I A MISTRESS? COULD I EVER BE A MISTRESS?  COULD I KEEP SOMEONE?