Thursday, April 24, 2014


"I consider my intimate relationships sacred and don't talk about them with anyone, which has left me feeling quite alone at times.  When a problem surfaces, it's not as though I can go talk to another wife about it.  That's really taboo for us.  Besides making sure each intimate relationship is 100 percent private between the two of us, I have learned not to make my time with each wife all about the sexual experience.  Otherwise, they assume that's my focus when I'm with the other wives, which only causes jealousy and competitiveness.  If my wives thought my interest in them was only sexual, it would be difficult for them to trust each other and respect me.  Having multiple relationships has reinforced for me that the intimacy a woman really craves involves being cherished and cared for, understood and valued."

Joe Darger pages 187-188

"Love Three Times" by Joe, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie Darger with Brook Adams which is copyright 2011 and published by HarperOne. 

Tuesday, April 22, 2014


JOE'S GRANDFATHERS WENT TO PRISON FOR PLURAL MARRIAGE. Plural Marriage is the term used by the Mormons from the beginning of their religion in the 1800's.


Sunday, April 20, 2014


"It's a common misconception - at least in my worldview - that it's best to enter a family as a first wife.  People often think, incorrectly that the first wife has the highest status and the most security.  I never saw it this way.  In fact, in my opinion, being the first wife takes too much work and involves too much self sacrifice.  You have to give up your life entirely and be joined at the hip to your husband.  It's just you and your husband until the day he married a second wife.  This kind of single-minded devotion never appealed to me - I'm independent and I like my freedom.

Being the second wife didn't seem like a better option either.  In fact, I think that would have been worse than being the first wife.  The second wife has the hardest job and is put in the most uncomfortable position, because she's the one who comes along and disrupts the marriage of the first wife and her husband.  You can't blame her - it's not the second wife's fault.  It's just the nature of her role.  She's the wedge that comes between the couple.  And I was never going to put myself in that position...

But the third wife - she's the lucky one!  She's the one who comes along and makes peace between the first two wives.  The third wife is in a blessed position.  She doesn't have to face marriage on her own without the help from sister wives or bear the burden of breaking up a previously monogamous couple...

Christine Brown (Third wife of Kody Brown) speaking  on page 48 of SISTER WIVES

Saturday, April 19, 2014


The seasons are changing... and while it may be too soon to pitch the coat and scarf during this year's raging winter, it is time to reassess your spring and summer wardrobe.


First - Has it been in your closet for more than two years without being worn?  Unless it's a winter coat you need to keep in case you have to travel from San Diego to Chicago in the winter,  a black dress you keep for funerals, or a sentimental piece like a fur coat or wedding dress, it probably has to go!

Second - Does it have resell value?  Some women are reselling their gently worn designer fashions at resell shops to get some cash out of the clothes.  What will these shops usually take?  Very new or vintage, lots of classics - they count on people loosing receipts, gaining weight, or being bored with their clothes or very rich.

Third - Will you donate for the hell of it or for a tax deduction?  Frankly, I think giving away without expectations of a tax deduction is the way to go but if you want the deduction, you may think of filling bags or including a fur coat as a way of pumping up the value.

Fourth - Is it classic or clearly out of style? Even your own personal style?  Is it part of a phase you went through?

Fifth - Has anyone ever given you a compliment when you wore it?  Who was that?
Your mom or best friend probably don't count, but what if HE really loves you in that dress, even though it's getting old then it's a keeper!

Sixth - Will a change in hem, buttons, or some reworking by a tailor keep a treasured item up to date and give you another year in it, or is that all too much expense and bother?  If that skirt is made of a fabric pattern you love, keep it and re-purpose the fabric!

Seventh -  Has anyone said, "If you ever give that away, think of me?"  Maybe it's time to give that dress away to your best friend who loves it, even if it won't fit her? 

Eighth - Is it a uniform you wore?  Is it a bridesmaids dress that never did get turned into something wearable again?  Generations of bridesmaids have been promising themselves they'd turn theirs into a shorter dress but never do.

Ninth -  Is the reason I haven't worn it because I've gained or lost weight?  Honestly you can keep it another year, which is about how long it will take you to gain or loose that weight.

Tenth - Is it repairable? Inspect purses and shoes for wear and tear.  These two items should be kept pristine or pitched.  So resole or have the handles repaired, but if the lining is messy, out it goes - to the trash!

ASK YOUR FRIENDS OVER FOR A TRADING PARTY.  Everyone goes through their closet and brings what they want to give away.  Take turns choosing one item at a time!

C 2014 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto  All Rights Reserved.  Intellectual Property notice.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Before you pack up and move to UTAH, consider these things which I've learned from the two books.

To be in an Independent Fundamentalist Mormon Polygamous Marriage:

1) You must be a woman who wants to have as many children as God allows, meaning you probably won't be using contraception and you could mother more than ten children and will be sharing those children with your SISTER WIVES.  You may have those children at home with a midwife.  If you have two sister-wives you will probably sleep with your husband every three days.  If you have six sister-wives, you will probably sleep with him once a week.  These men seem up to it.  Having sister-wives is not keeping the population down.  The men are spreading their gene pool.

2) So you really must want and enjoy and be able to cope with lots and lots of children.  You must be a natural nurturer and a teacher, maybe even home schooling.  You must have or develop a lot of patience and understanding. 

3) You don't get your way much.  Expect a life of self sacrifice.  You'll be compromising a lot.  You'll be working on your jealousy and love for you wife-sisters, but there won't be any sex with anyone but your shared husband, and one at a time. You'll be subject not only to your shared husband but you sister-wives.  Some decisions will be made for you or are subject to not only family group decisions but reviews and permissions by committees, including the committees of church authorities.

4) Men such as husbands and fathers, as well as men church authorities, will decide if you are allowed to marry or allowed to leave (divorce) a husband.  You will be judged by their values.  There is no feminist movement here.

5) Financially, you may still have to work outside the home for pay to help support the family, but you may not be able to build a career which depends on staying put or transferring around the country.  If you husband moves the family, you go with.  You will probably have a work history/resume that is choppy.

6) Although you will have the support of your sister-wives when it comes to child care and finances, you will have near no societal support for your alternative arrangements and neither will your children outside  your own church/community.  Even some Latter Day Saint children will tease and discriminate in their friendships with your children.  You may have to live a secret or double life, live in rural areas far from main stream culture, or be subject to investigation by governmental authorities.

7) You must be religious in a Fundamentalist Mormon (not Latter Day Saints) way.  Without practicing the religion there is no point and it's only religion that makes this lifestyle respectable to a small percentage of the Western World.

The books are BECOMING SISTER WIVES The Story of an Unconventional Marriage by Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn Brown  C 2012  Kody Brown Entertainment LLC, published by Gallery Books and LOVE THREE TIMES  Our Story of a Polygamous Marriage by Joe, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie Darger with Brooke Adams and is C 2011 by all those authors. The publisher is HarperOne.

Monday, April 14, 2014


"Quite often in our faith, it's the woman who approaches the family she is interest in.  I think people are surprised by how often the woman makes the opening move.  If a woman finds a family to which she feels spiritually connected, typically she builds a relationship wit the first wife or wives, then she will tell her father, who then speaks to the father of the husband in the family..."    Kody Brown - The husband in a Polygamous marriage.

Page 42 of the book SISTER WIVES