Saturday, April 19, 2014

TIME TO GO THROUGH YOUR CLOSETS AND PRUNE YOUR WARDROBE! ADVICE FROM MISSY ON HOW TO! HAVE A CLOTHES TRADING PARTY!

The seasons are changing... and while it may be too soon to pitch the coat and scarf this year's raging winter, it is time to reassess your spring and summer wardrobe.

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First - Has it been in your closet for more than two years without being worn?  Unless it's a winter coat you need to keep in case you have to travel from San Diego to Chicago in the winter,  a black dress you keep for funerals, or a sentimental piece like a fur coat or wedding dress, it probably has to go!

Second - Does it have resell value?  Some women are reselling their gently worn designer fashions at resell shops to get some cash out of the clothes.  What will these shops usually take?  Very new or vintage, lots of classics - they count on people loosing receipts, gaining weight, or being bored or very rich.

Third - Will you donate for the hell of it or for a tax deduction?  Frankly, I think giving away without expectations of a tax deduction is the way to go but if you want the deduction, you may think of filling bags or including a fur coat as a way of pumping up the value.

Fourth - Is it classic or clearly out of style even your own personal style?  Is it part of a phase you went through?

Fifth - Has anyone ever given you a compliment when you wore it?  Who was that?
Your mom or best friend probably don't count, but what if HE really loves you in that dress, even though it's getting old then it's a keeper!

Sixth - Will a change in hem, buttons, or some reworking by a tailor keep a treasured item up to date and give you another year in it, or is that all too much expense and bother?  If that skirt is made of a fabric pattern you love, keep it and re-purpose the fabric!

Seventh -  Has anyone said, "If you ever give that away, think of me?"  Maybe it's time to give that dress away to your best friend who loves it, even if it won't fit her? 

Eighth - Is it a uniform you wore?  Is it a bridesmaids dress that never did get turned into something wearable again.

Ninth -  Is the reason I haven't worn it because I've gained or lost weight?  Honestly you can keep it another year, which is about how long it will take you to gain or loose that weight.

Tenth - Is it repairable? Inspect purses and shoes for wear and tear.  These two items should be kept pristine or pitched.  So resole or have the handles repaired, but if the lining is messy, out it goes - to the trash!

ASK YOUR FRIENDS OVER FOR A TRADING PARTY.  Everyone goes through their closet and brings what they want to give away.  Take turns choosing one item at a time!

C 2014 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto  All Rights Reserved.  Intellectual Property notice.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

BECOMING SISTER WIVES and LOVE THREE TIMES : MISTRESS MANIFESTO BOOK REVIEW

Before you pack up and move to UTAH, consider these things which I've learned from the two books.

To be in an Independent Fundamentalist Mormon Polygamous Marriage:

1) You must be a woman who wants to have as many children as God allows, meaning you probably won't be using contraception and you could mother more than ten children and will be sharing those children with your SISTER WIVES.  You may have those children at home with a midwife.  If you have two sister-wives you will probably sleep with your husband every three days.  If you have six sister-wives, you will probably sleep with him once a week.  These men seem up to it.  Having sister-wives is not keeping the population down.  The men are spreading their gene pool.

2) So you really must want and enjoy and be able to cope with lots and lots of children.  You must be a natural nurturer and a teacher, maybe home schooling.  You must have or develop a lot of patience and understanding. 

3) You don't get your way much.  Expect a life of self sacrifice.  You'll be compromising a lot.  You'll be working on your jealousy and love for you wife-sisters, but there won't be any sex with anyone but your shared husband, and one at a time. You've be subject not only to your shared husband but you sister-wives.  Some decisions will be made for you or are subject to not only family group decisions but reviews and permissions by committees, including the committees of church authorities.

4) Men such as husbands and fathers, as well as men as church authorities will decide if you are allowed to marry or allowed to leave (divorce) a husband.  You will be judged by their values.  There is no feminist movement here.

5) Financially, you may still have to work outside the home for pay to help support the family, but you may not be able to build a career which depends on staying put or transferring around the country.  If you husband moves the family, you go with.  You will probably have a work history/resume that is choppy.

6) Although you will have the support of your sister-wives when it comes to child care and finances, you will have near no societal support for your alternative arrangements and neither will your children.  Even some Latter Day Saint children will tease and discriminate in their friendships with your children.  You may have to live a secret or double life, live in rural areas far from main stream culture, or be subject to investigation by governmental authorities.

7) You must be religious in a Fundamentalist Mormon (not Latter Day Saints) way.  Without practicing the religion there is no point and it's only religion that makes this lifestyle respectable to a small percentage of the Western World.

The books are BECOMING SISTER WIVES The Story of an Unconventional Marriage by Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn Brown  C 2012  Kody Brown Entertainment LLC, published by Gallery Books and LOVE THREE TIMES  Our Story of a Polygamous Marriage by Joe, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie Darger with Brooke Adams and is C 2011 by all those authors. The publisher is HarperOne.

Monday, April 14, 2014

KODY BROWN ON A WOMEN APPROACHING THE FAMILY SHE WANTS TO BE POLYGAMOUS WITH


"Quite often in our faith, it's the woman who approaches the family she is interest in.  I think people are surprised by how often the woman makes the opening move.  IF a woman finds a family to which she feels spiritually connected, typicaly she builds a relationship wit the first wife or wives, then she will tell her father, who then speaks to the father of the husband in the family..."    Kody Brown - the husband in a Polygamous marriage.

Page 42 of the book SISTER WIVES


Monday, April 7, 2014

JANNEL BROWN ON THE PITFALL OF COMPARING RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER WIVES

"One of the things I had to work on once I moved into the big house with my sister wives was not falling into the pitfall of comparing my relationship with Kody to theirs.  Comparison is the death of plural marriage.   It leads to debilitating unhappiness."  - Jannel Brown

Page 30 of  BECOMING SISTER WIVES The Story of an Unconventional Marriage by Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn Brown  C 2012  Kody Brown Entertainment LLC

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

THOSE POLYGAMOUS HUSBAND-SHARING "SISTER WIVES" : APRIL 2014 : SUBJECT OF THE MONTH

You may have watched Reality TV and seen Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn Brown, or you may have heard media reports on the  Independent Fundamentalist Mormons who live in compounds in Utah.  (They're the sect that does not marry underage girls off to old Patriarchs.) 

Why talk about this at all at  MISTRESS MANIFESTO

Well, I wonder, do you like me see the similarities and differences between these women and mistresses of a more traditional type? 

Mistresses aren't always involved with legally married men.  Sometimes they are kept by not legally married men or men who prefer to live single.  (And at this blog we also acknowledge that the relationships may not be heterosexual.) 

Who is or isn't a mistress these days is not so clear.

More than one wife has found out she was sharing her husband with a mistress or two, unless he asked her about bringing another woman into their lives in advance of doing so, and she maybe helped pick out the mistress, like Yoko Ono  may have when she suggested May Pang to John Lennon.  (May Pang was Mistress of the Month here at Mistress Manifesto two years ago in April 2012!)

The majority of us in the Western or First World are raised to believe that there is only one kind of marriage and that is the marriage of one man with one woman.  Any variation on that theme is considered to be wrong - bad - sinful.  Yet, divorced parents integrate their children into new families, and children take on having two fathers and two mothers.  While gay activists fight for the right to marry a member of the same sex, there are those who would like to see Polygamous marriages legal as well.  I think it will happen.

In Polygamous marriages of the Independent Fundamentalist Mormon (not to be confused with the Latter Day Saints), the first wife is the legal wife.  The other wives are married in their Church quite seriously and spiritually, but not legally, but with the full knowledge of the first and other wives. 

I do wonder how these extensive families can afford to have this lifestyle financially.  It seems that the men tend to own businesses or ranches or land and sometimes the women are also out working, supporting the family in a communal way.  There has been some controversy about how the state and federal governments determine benefits for a family of say five wives and 35 children, but there are those who say Polygamy could not be afforded without those state and federal government benefits, help with medical care, food, and other costs, because in most of these Plural Marriages there are very many children.

There are a couple books you might want to read about the subject and you can sort of try out the lifestyle vicariously and decide if maybe you should be moving to Utah and converting to the Fundamentalist Mormon Faith!

One of them is called "Becoming Sister Wives" by Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn Brown.  (It's copyright 2012 and published by Gallery Books.)  Another is called "Love Three Times" by Joe, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie Darger with Brook Adams which is copyright 2011 and published by HarperOne. 

I've read both and am interested that the people involved in these marriages talk quite a bit about it as a "calling" and very spiritual.  (Mistresses are called "Home Wreckers" and considered to be Evil, even when they preserve marriages.) 

In the case of Kody Brown, he married his first wife Meri and they were together monogamously for three years before he married Janelle.  In the case of Joe Darger, he married Alina and Vicki the very same ceremony.

As for sex, well, sometimes a man who has a Mistress is not having sex with his wife any more and that's one of his reasons for having an affair, if not a Mistress.  The fact that the wife may not be interested in having sex anymore, but wants to continue as a wife in most other ways, may contribute to the fact that she understands and accepts the Mistress.  Is there jealousy?  Sometimes, maybe often or most of the time. 

If you believe that you should have the entire focus of your spouse, any romantic relationships outside the marriage are a problem for you. I used to think that the place to find a faithful, loyal man was in church but what about this church?

Sister Wives must also be having sex with the same man at the same time and, it seems, mostly without using contraception, sometimes helping each other deliver the babies.  Some of these Sister Wives have had children born in the same years. You may even be on a schedule to see your mutual husband, to have an evening of intimacy, and have to negotiate that with the other women when you need to do something else.  Unlike many wives whose husband are off seeing someone, as a Plural Wife, you may know exactly where he is and who with all the time!  Your children will all be co-siblings.  Your daughters will probably also seek Plural Marriage.

Here is a link for the LOVE THREE TIMES site! LOVETHREETIMES.COM

Here is a link to a Blog called SISTER WIVES! THESISTERWIVES.BLOGSPOT.COM

THINKING ABOUT THIS, I would like to say that psychologists, preachers, and most parents (especially mothers) try to instill the idea that a woman deserves so very much today, and if she herself does not expect and get that so very much, the next question is of her self esteem.  But we cannot all have our own way or everything we think we want or deserve.

Some mistresses have written books heavily invested in therapy and say that no woman with self respect or self esteem can become a Mistress.  I note that these books seem to blame the women so much more than the men!

Yet, not everyone can be the Number One Priority. 

There are even real Princesses, women of privilege from birth, among us who don't find themselves as Number One in their husband's esteem. More than other women, many married women feel themselves alone and neglected because their husband is married to his business.

Missy

C 2014 All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights
Missy Rapport / Mistress Manifesto