Wednesday, December 17, 2014


I have known only one true HONEY TRAP in my life!  (T'wasn't me!)

"Cindy" was expert at hiding her true self and projecting herself as any man's ideal woman.

I met her when she was involved with a friend of mine.  I actually told him he needed to give her more of a chance when, after a few weeks of dating, he said he had this odd feeling, like he really wasn't getting to know her.  I dismissed his feeling but I was so wrong!  He broke with her and she became very depressed.  She even told him off.  But soon he was out buying her an expensive "perfect gift" and they remained friends.

In fact "Cindy" was still friends with a multitude of men she had once dated, slept with, or had relationships with.

I had to be in her life for some time to begin to figure out what was real or what was make-believe or how much she believed herself.  Was she completely lacking self identity, truly willing to conform to a man's interests to be with him, or was she the smartest woman yet, having always a great number of men to pick from?

This woman had a Masters in Psychology but, she said, she didn't believe in therapy.  Yet, in friendship with her, she posed very much as a Therapist.  She asked interesting questions.  She listened well.  The only trouble was, when ever you tried to ask her the same question and get a response, she expertly moved the conversation back to YOU. 

In the year or so that we were friends, "Cindy" managed to attract several men besides my friend. She had absolutely no problem attracting them. I watched her as she gazed into their eyes, changed her schedule to be available to the ones she wanted to be available for, and  I stepped aside as she was wildly promiscuous (though none of them knew that!)

When I'm friends with another woman, I really do want to know who she really is.  I want to know what her hopes and dreams are, as much as I want to know about her disappointments and hurts.

So if YOU ARE A HONEY TRAP, could you share a bit about your philosophy of life and why you live this way?

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Saturday, December 13, 2014


Gotham Group - Penguin
C 2005 Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway

Excerpt from pages 72-73

Sticky Sartorial Situation #2:

Your fabulous new boyfriend has a big heart and a bigger bank account, and he soon utters the words you've only dreamt about: " Meet me at Barneys..."
Should you, an independent, highly evolved woman in frantic need of a new Prada suit - take him up on his offer to dress you from head to heel?

Not so fast. Any man who's raring to take you shopping - and pay the tab - probably has some major control issue festering... He's also probably done this before, which means you might have to face smirking salesclerks who may - accidentally, of course - call you by the wrong name. The bottom line: You'll be obliged to get what he likes (which may not be your tastes) and strut in it to boot. You may feel more like a tart that a treat.

Far better to have a man who surprises you with gifts (which you can accept and later return/consign if necessary). Jackie happily accepted bounty from men her entire life, from horses to rare sculptures and fabulous jewels. So if a man simply offers his Amex card, and urges you on to a solitary shopping spree, Jackie would have just one word of advice. "Taxi!"

Wednesday, December 10, 2014


"My children are a priority.  If I have none but want children, I will express myself in my relationship about this."

The late Jackie Kennedy Onassis thought raising her children well was the most important thing she could do.  The flew back and forth from Europe to be there for them.  We all need to check in with ourselves about the children we have and the children we hope to have.  Not all women are natural or perfect mothers.  In fact, every parent probably makes mistakes.  There are errors in judgment and then there is abuse. One mistake you don't want to make is ignoring or neglecting your children.  If you're in a relationship and you want children, be sure to tell that to your partner. Will you be a good mother?  Can you provide what children deserve and need? What sort of parent will this person make?  Have they already had their family?  Are they interested in having another family?

Tuesday, December 9, 2014


What to give him as a present?

Someone who may seem to have "everything?"  

(Or who makes or has a whole lot more money than you!)

Someone who may not be able to take whatever it is home with him?

Someone who doesn't want to explain to anyone about where he got it?

I may not have the perfect answer but I do have an opinion!

Let's all face the fact that shopping for presents for men can be difficult and even boring because men just do not have or need as much stuff as women do and can be terribly practical themselves.  We all know of men who have worn the same shoes or haircut for years and who will tell you that they do not NEED anything. 

So first of all, just try to make three lists. 
The things he hates. 
The things he already has. 
The things he likes.


Never ever wrap yourself up (in cellophane, a bow, or the latest from a lounge wear shop) and present yourself for sex as a present!  Sex is something you do or don't have but you are never a present!  You are not a PRODUCT.  You're a person.

As a matter of fact YOU CAN'T BE BOUGHT!

(This is why, though it happens, that someone who has seriously been a prostitute rather than a courtesan, has the all wrong mentality to be a good mistress!)

Secondly, a present is usually NO FUN if you ask someone to just tell you what they want and then go buy it. There should be some mystery and surprise and some humor.

However, you can ask around the subject in a general way  ("Honey, what do you think of this taxidermy?).  Ask his friends for some clues and become very observant of what he likes when you go out shopping together. (He has a thing for purple?  Maybe he'd wear some purple suspenders!) One friend of mine found herself in a big New York store with her man and a couple hundred dollars in her pocket and was thinking of buying him whatever music CD's he wanted when he took off to let her find him trying on colognes like he was leading her right to what he wanted.  The cologne he liked was inexpensive but he was happy with it as a gift.

Don't break your budget or use a lot of the money he gifted you to gift him.  Really if he has such advantage financially that he wants to make your life easier and better, then accept that, live that, appreciate that, and don't essentially let himself buy himself a gift by trying to impress him with what you can do without.

This is why the "home-made" gift is sometimes the best.  Sometimes cooking his favorite meal, decorating your home, setting a beautiful table, putting on your perfume and an apron and just cooking what he loves is a great gift. 

I also know someone who wrote a heartfelt and beautiful poem which she read aloud to her man, and she says that she thinks it made a big positive difference in their relationship.  This poem you write should be funny if possible, never too serious, focusing on good times you had together, things that made you laugh.  It should never say that you will love him till the day you die, even if you will.  Tell him that after you get married if you ever do.

A present should probably not be something that he already has lots of and can buy himself any old day like ties, socks, and shirts for work.  Too predictable, boring, too much like someone else will buy him. However, sports and work out related stuff that he can keep at the gym locker might work as may caps, shirts, and other favorite team related items.

Something such as an accessory for the car he just bought, might work also.  Wouldn't it be fun if you bought him a HOOD ORNAMENT!  He could look at it whenever he drives.

Avoid gift certificates.  Avoid anything that may need to be returned with the receipt.  And, if you are a Mistress, do not call him "just this once" to wish him happy holidays, even if he tells you to.  Let him call you!  - Missy

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