Thursday, July 2, 2015

WILHELMINA "BILLIE" JOHNSON MCCANDLESS - CHRIS' MOM - MISTRESS OF THE MONTH JULY 2015

 
BILLIE JOHNSON MCCANDLESS
Image photographed from the book and cropped -
All Rights Remain that of the author.*
 
*****
Image from Google Images search for public domain.
 
Magazine articles like this caused a stir and lead to an International best seller book named INTO THE WILD by author Jon Krakauer, as well as a documentary film, another film called by one source a "Biographical drama" in 2007, also titled INTO THE WILD, which was nominated for two Academy Awards (Sean Penn wrote the screenplay), dozens of YouTube videos, and recently, another book authored by Carine McCandless, the full sister of Chris McCandless, the hiker who was found dead in this bus in the wilderness of Alaska in 1992.
 
THE WILD TRUTH
Published by HarperOne
C 2014 Carine McCandless  (Billie's daughter)
 
 
This month I'm going to think aloud as I review this book and take a position.
 
Carine McCandless, daughter of Billie and sister of Chris, wanted to tell the underlying story of her brother's wish to divorce their family - their parents - and sees the reasoning behind his planned disappearance from the family and so, eventually, his death by starvation in the Alaska wilderness in 1992.  She blames a dysfunctional family, replete with violence and tension, and Chris' discovery during his travels after high school that their parents marriage was a years long charade, as additional motivation. The charade meant that this recent graduate of Emory College, an educated young man from an upper class Virginia family, was upset about being illegitimate and in effect, the child of a long time mistress.
 
It seems to me that someone like Chris, who is typified as being deeply thoughtful and philosophical, and literary, might have had many realizations about his parents before he died alone, and while it's clear that he made no contact with ANYONE in his family for over two years, from the time he left to the time he was found dead, it's also true that in his travels he experienced some good times, some new friendships, had taken intermittent employment, and that his travels around the United States were part of a young man's rite of passage.  Chris McCandless was trying to test himself in new situations and see the world before settling anywhere ; perhaps he really did intend to go to Harvard Law. 
 
A break from parents in young adulthood is what we do, unless we want to be one of those people who still lives with their parents or lets them pay our bills while "adults,"  though perhaps not so dramatically or with a history of witnessing and being subject to an abusive relationship that Chris and Carine experienced.  Many upper class college students take a year off between their junior and senior year to see the world and experience another culture.  Chris McCandless needed to redefine himself as separate from his family and begin a life of his own in which he aspired to greater accountability then they.
 
Chris wrote letters that reveal that he was disgusted with his parents and suffering the effects of childhood abuse, but my feeling is that he was willing to cut off Carine and his other siblings as well in the effort.  It may have been pay back time for him, but they all suffered. Carine and her siblings will never know if he had any intention of ever being back in touch with them. Now that his story has been told in so very many ways, it has become a story about how parents and siblings cope with a beloved siblings unusual death and notoriety.
 
Chris and Carine were the children of Walt Mc Candless and Billie Johnson McCandless, Billie being our Mistress of the Month this July 2015.  Walt, who actually was a rocket scientist, a genius involved in space exploration and aerospace, was a married man with a family and Billie's boss at Hughes Aircraft in Southern California when they met and started an affair which went on and on despite his unwillingness to get a divorce.  Walt began splitting his time between two households and families, having sex and children with both for some time with both Billie and his wife, Marcia, finally settling with Billie.  Their relationship has gone on to this day.  The scenarios Carine provides that reveal their childhood, which includes the blending of the two families while the women live in separate houses, show that both women were accommodating of Walt and  sometimes each other. 
 
Walt never managed to leave his wife, Marcia, as he said he intended.  Juggling two families, but alcoholic and violent,  spanking his children and beating his wives reportedly for "release", (and Billie him), eventually Marcia  did divorce him and moved back to their home town with their six children.  He then moved across the country with Billie.  Still, he never married Billie in any ceremony, civil or religious. 
 
(But hold on a minute.  Think of the rock star Sting, who was married and having children with the wife he was leaving and the wife he has since been married to at one time.  They all seem to be OK... I have to wonder.  If Chris and Carine only knew that being the children of a Mistress is not so uncommon would it have made a difference?)
 
Billie Johnson studied dance in her home town and headed for Los Angeles (or perhaps more correctly Hollywood) hoping to work as a dancer (but not an exotic dancer or stripper) and became a secretary instead. Not so unusual.  Like many women who aspire to a relationship with a man who makes good money and who is intelligent and charming, Billie fell in love with Walt.  She was also intelligent and accomplished.  You don't get to be hired as a secretary at Hughes Aircraft without being skilled.  She was able to play a significant role in the home business she and Walt had together, while also not a feminist or liberated woman, and also tried to be a great housewife.  Billie worked hard to achieve a beautiful home and garden, cooking tasty home made meals from scratch, was involved in Scouting, but also worked in the home as an essential partner with Walt in a business that made them eventually wealthy.
 
Did she live too much for what their neighbors and people at church might think?
 
"Oh Carine, isn't it you who's making up false family scenarios just to get attention," she said.  "You're not as smart as you think you are.  I don't even understand what wrong doing you're talking about.  Besides, when I met him, your father had his own apartment and lots of girlfriends."  (page 203)
 
Perhaps it was a bit over the top of Billie and Walt, considering, to also aspire to be well regarded church members of a small local Protestant church as well, and personally I have to wonder at the role of religion and faith in this family story, something that goes unexplored in Carine's book, when perhaps what many parties needed was therapy, or to run off to an abused women's shelter (though there were few of those back in the 1960's), or for social workers to intervene, but Billie and Walt were living in Virginia, far from their home towns or the California where they met, and it doesn't sound like any of the neighbors, teachers, or pastors were concerned enough to call them in. 
 
And it comes to me that the concern about illegitimacy that Chris may have had testifies to his own conservatism.
 
No doubt Billie Johnson knew she was in a love triangle, an unconventional relationship that her own parents would not approve of or understand.
 
Early in the relationship Billie went so far as to arrange a picture and post wedding announcement to be published in her small hometown newspaper which gave their real names and Walt's employment and profession.  When she went through periods where she and Walt held family meetings to talk about divorcing or claimed that she was moving out and looking for somewhere else to live, it was an exercise in futility.  For whatever reason, Billie decided to stick with Walt and he with her. 
 
BILLIE HAD THIS SORT OF MARRIAGE ANNOUNCEMENT
PUBLISHED IN HER HOME TOWN NEWSPAPER
Image photographed from the book and cropped -
All Rights Remain that of the author.*
 
 
I thought, "If you've never married legally you don't divorce legally!" but realized that is probably not true and depends on the time and place.  Because Walt and Billie lived together as husband and wife for many years before and after he divorced, they are probably correctly regarded as in a COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, which includes you holding yourself out to be a married couple in your community.  (In some states you have to live together for about 7 years for the relationship to be considered COMMON LAW.  Another issue might be how Taxes are filed.  But legally married people can still file separately.)
 
Through this book Carine doesn't consider her parents to be in a common law marriage and apparently her brother Chris didn't either.  She doesn't consider her parent's relationship as something of the times they met in or that she will never know, even with what she has experienced, witnessed, or been told, what was really going on between these three people who brought a total of 8 children into this world.  There was a lot of experimentation with Open relationships, multiple relationships, triads, and so on during the 1960's and 1970's and, well, it still goes on today, especially in California, and instead the relationship is thought closer to be something that the Mormon Fundamentalists might try for. 
 
Carine, at the time she wrote this book, has had three divorces herself.  She considers her mother unsympathetic to that.
 
As for Chris, who you'll learn more about here this month as well, ...
 
"He'd written them a long letter, he said, that detailed all the emotional trauma and abuse we had suffered as kids.  How their actions had caused him to lose all respect for both of them."  (Page 96)
 
No doubt Chris intended to divorce his parents and explained that to Carine, knowing that she would understand, but by the time of his death, he may have been reconsidering. Though traveling under the name Alexander Supertramp, he still had his new ID's, Social Security Card, and W2's under his real identity but this was not known until many years later when his backpack was returned to the family and it was all found in a secret compartment.  So my take on calling himself by another name when he traveled was for privacy and security not because he had divorced his heritage.
 
I encourage you to check my archives for the January 2013 edition which features Louis Isidore Kahn, an important architect, who had more than one ongoing relationship that included children, and the April 2014 edition which features the Sister Wives of the Independent Mormon Fundamentalists.
 
C Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.  Missy Rapport  2015
All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights on Original Writing/ Review.
 
*  Using Google Image Search there are a number of images available from this book and surrounding this story.  Since I didn't see this particular image from the book at that time, I decided to try photographing it myself and have cropped them.  However the original images remain the Copyright of the author.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Monday, June 29, 2015

NEW JET SET FLYS THROUGH DUBAI

VANITY FAIR - THE NEW JET SET - DUBAI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT EMIRATES AIRBUS - AIRPORT  link her to the full informative article
Graham Boynton   Stephen Wilkes
 
EXCERPTS:
 
This is Dubai International Airport’s $4.5 billion Terminal 3, the exclusive province of Emirates airline. Covering nearly 18.5 million square feet, it is the largest air terminal on the planet. Dubai International also ranks alongside Singapore’s Changi, Hong Kong International, and Beijing Capital International as the most passenger-friendly. Every week from this airport’s Jetways, 130 international airlines operate more than 6,000 flights to some 260 destinations on every continent except Antarctica.
 
In January 2013, Dubai International opened Concourse A—aviation’s first facility dedicated entirely to Airbus A380 superjumbos. Located in Terminal 3, it is a magnificent building. Huge first- and business-class lounges connect directly to the A380 upper decks; economy-class passengers board from the lower level. The new concourse has already increased Dubai’s traffic to 75 million passengers a year, moving it past London’s Heathrow as the world’s busiest international airport. By 2018 that number is expected to pass 90 million, overtaking vast domestic hubs such as Atlanta and Beijing...
 
At the back of the upper-deck cabin, directly behind business class, is the pièce de résistance: a fully operative stand-up bar that has been the social hub on every Emirates A380 flight I have taken. To make space for this in-flight lounge, Emirates president Tim Clark says, he has had to sacrifice six premium seats, but declares, “It’s the most popular thing we’ve ever done. They have a real party down there.” On this flight a group of Italian contractors join two British couples around the bar soon after takeoff. And they’re all still there six hours later as the plane starts its descent. It is, indeed, some party...."
 
*****
 
Missy here!  Read this article.  If you haven't traveled by air in a while you may consider transferring through this airport just to see the architecture and soak in the vibe.  Just expect to be seated by class and ticket price on the airbus, and since each class boards separately, you probably won't have much luck sneaking into First Class to sit with royalty and the stars!

Saturday, June 27, 2015

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Language

"I clean up my language. I don't use curse words or swear words in my daily language.  I learn new words and add them to my conversations and writing!"


I'm not going to say I never ever use curse words or swear words.  Recently I had a problem with workmen leaving a lot of clutter and dirt behind them. I was tripping over and breaking things trying to get around their stuff for days on end and I said one bad word in particular dozens of times till it was all taken away and cleaned up. It helped me blow off some of my anger at being so inconvenienced.  But I don't think anyone heard me!

With this Declaration, I'm focusing on those of you who constantly overuse swear words in your daily language and have gotten into a bad habit with that.  It cheapens you, it really does.  It makes you sound ignorant and like you want to be.  Women who swear most every sentence do not always realize the bad impression they give but sometimes they are erroneously thought of as street people, drug addicts, or criminals.

On my smart phone theirs a Word of the Day app which brings up a new word, defined and used in a sentence.  Why not add a few new words to your vocabulary and be perceived as intelligent, educated, and classy?"

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Watch" PAN AM" - the TELEVISION SERIES - on DVD if you missed it on the TV.

I loved the TV series, which you can now watch all 14 episodes of on DVD, and which is set in the "Jet Age" and involves Cold War Spying, romances between pilots and mistresses, affairs in foreign places, in these pre-feminist revolution times when some women wanted a career and a man.  Checked YouTube and you can also watch an entire show on there.

Christina Ricci had the lead role as one of Pan Am's extremely accomplished stewardesses, women who had to be fluent in languages, educated, sophisticated, and know how to handle a myriad of crisis on board and off.  (And yes, I'm aware that people in this job are now called Flight Attendants, be they male or female, and that some men also love the job.)

The DVD set includes some special features including a short interview tithe former Pan Am Stewardess and Executive producer Nancy Hult Gains, and a reality check about the real lives of stewardesses in the era before air travel became mundane and discounted.

Here's the real deal, a Pan American Airlines promo!

Monday, June 22, 2015

SHOULD SHE CHANGE JOBS SO SHE CAN STILL HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH THE MAN WHO IS HER BOSS NOW?

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Dear Missy

A good friend of mine, Angela, is having an affair with her married boss, who I'll call Wade. She's crazy about him and from what she says, he's crazy about her.  They get along really well.  They've always worked really well together.  They have a lot of fun, a good sense of humor between them, and some common interests, like they both love baseball.  Their affair started because a group from her office go to down to the sports bar to watch the games after work to unwind and relax. 

I've known her since we were little girls. I know being involved with a married man is not like Angela.  She's never done this before.  At first I was shocked, especially because this man has three children under the age of six at home.  I really want her to be happy and she is happy.  I don't want to bring her down.

The other day Wade told Angela that he wants her to find another job.  He says that if the old men who are higher-ups find out it could be trouble for both of them.  He reasoned that since she's a secretary, and will get his highest recommendations, it will be easier for her than for him to leave the company.  She's afraid to do that because she's got benefits like a retirement to consider and because she knows then she won't see him as much and wonders if leaving the company will end the affair.

I asked her if she asked him what's wrong with his marriage.  He says the whole scene at home is exhausting and not at all what he had imagined his life would be married.  He loves his children but he says they are all the result of contraceptive failures.  They came too soon and too fast one after another.

Ginny,
Portland

*****

Hi Ginny,

Will Angela really be able to keep working with a man who doesn't want to have an affair with her anymore?  Office based affairs are common and so many people who've had them do break up and stay put.

It's my gut feeling that the affair will end if she changes jobs and that Wade is trying to find a good way out for both of them, but I'm also hoping Angela can break it off and keep her job.  It seems that whenever there's an office based affair it's always the underling who suffers.

Angela will have to negotiate that and if she's in love with Wade, it's going to be really difficult emotionally.  To break up and stay at work with a person require the skills of a great actor, at least for a while.  She will have to go about the workplace pretending she really doesn't feel like crying.  Probably a number of co-workers, supervisors, and other personnel have already picked up vibes and suspect or know there's an affair going on. 

I don't feel too sorry for Wade.  I can't be more encouraging to you for Angela's sake because of the number and ages of his children and the fact that they have a stay at home mom there with them raising them. 

If a man really does not want children, if a couple does not, there are so many options today, which, if they cooperate, are very effective to avoid having children.  I was reading an advertisement in a local weekly magazine that said rubbers are extremely effective these days in preventing AIDS.  If using them prevents the transmission of venereal diseases including the deadly HIV virus, certainly they are effective as contraception. 

Sure they break, but maybe not as much as they used to with better manufacturing methods (Do not use brands not made in the United States that haven't been rated.)  I've met people who got pregnant while using every form of contraception there is, which is why I'm pro-abortion.  But when a couple is not ready to have a child or another child and cannot afford it physically, psychologically,. emotionally, or financially, then they can so use more than one method.  In other words, those babies came "too fast" because WADE WAS THERE!

So my guess is that having three children one after another like that is tied into some very deep irrevocable notions that Wade has about life, possibly tied into his religion and culture, and that of his wife's.

But whatever their life is as a married couple, I think he's scared for his job and career and how he'd find another one to support a family of four.  He may think Angela is terrific and may enjoy her greatly, but this affair comes at a bad time in the lives of his children, their mother, and his.

Of course I could be wrong.  It could be that Angela, with the help of Wade, finds a new better, excellent job, one in which she prospers, uses all her talents and skills, and that comes with better benefits and retirement.  Maybe then he'll find that he misses her so much that he gets a divorce and can be with her.  Surely Angela would hope that he could afford child support, and will not mind as he becomes a weekend daddy for years on end.  Does Angela WANT to be the step-mother of three small children? 
Can she imagine seeing very little of Wade because he will spend a lot of time with them and always have a connection to his wife because of them? 

Ginny, Help your good friend think this through.  Tell her to BE STRONG.

Missy


Thursday, June 18, 2015

JET SET - the book by WILLIAM STADIEM - VERY INTERESTING!

THE PEOPLE - THE PLANES - THE GLAMOUR and the SEX!

Hello Readers!  I read this book and I will post a review at a later date!  I hand wrote it and have misplaced my notes. (I know, I'm usually so well organized!) If you're interested in the times that Bettina and other "jet-setters" lived, that era when jet plane travel was still posh and the wealthy moved from place to place on what seemed like a forever vacation, you'll want to read this one!

WINNWPEG FREE PRESS - THE AVIATION AGE and a REVIEW of "JET SET"


WWILLIAM STADIEM OFFICIAL SITE