WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE HORRIBLE DATES - THOSE BAD MEN - WHO ARE MARRIED NOW TO SOMEONE? : QUESTIONS FOR MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hi Missy,

I've reached the point in my life where I'm looking back at my dating history, thinking about some men I went out with once or twice or three times who were jerks, men I slept with who were real bad in the sack, and men who broke my heart too.  I swore off dating over a decade ago and am not sorry!  But, using the internet, I looked some of them up, and they were all married.  I can't help but wonder if these men got nicer, or better, or if these women are putting up with the same men I could not stand or had to jettison or who jettisoned me! It feels weird.

Becky

Chicago

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Becky, we have probably all had bad experiences with men, which is why when I get the time I work on the book I'm writing full of advice...  And the age-old advice is that we have to "settle" but then the age-old advice was that everyone had to be married and stay married - to just one person - too.

My feeling is that you need more in your life so that you can live in the present or look forwards to whatever plans you might have envisioned for yourself - travel perhaps? For what can you LEARN from these men as they were back in the day NOW?  Whatever happened in their lives since you knew them, it has nothing to do with you NOW!  Unless you are harboring the pain you experienced knowing them.  Try Becky, try to get over it and move on. 

Missy