SHOULD HE CHOOSE HIS SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE OR THE WOMAN HE'S SEEING? : OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hey Missy,

I'm in love with two women. One is my high school girlfriend, I'll call her Marie. We broke up years ago. We talk on the phone a couple times a year and see each other maybe once or twice. Usually to lunch. No messing around. She had a boyfriend for a couple years and they broke up. She's gone on dates but hasn't been in another relationship. When we get together, I think we're still attracted. I just think we were too young and it couldn't happen then. My bro says, "She's just your sentimental favorite.  Move on!"

The other, I'll call her Annie, and me have been dating for about a year and a half. She's terrific. Ok, both women are my type. I like tall blondes and I like women who have a lot to say. Annie says she is ready to make more of a commitment to me and our relationships. What stops me from asking Annie to move in with me is that I feel guilty. I always feel like I'm cheating on Marie.  Which is why I think my heart has always belonged to her. 

I'm 26 and Marie and Annie are 25. 

Robert

New Jersey

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Congratulations Robert!  You now know that loving more than one person at a time is possible. Actually I think it happens more than what is admitted to. I also know the pressure is on to choose one woman. That's the expectations of our society most of the time to be involved with only one person at a time. Mainly you are not comfortable with it. 

High school wasn't too long ago.

I understand you have a friendship with Marie that you value and have not actually "cheated' on Annie. That would be a healthy keep-her kind of friendship but for the fact that you feel guilty because you can't give Annie what she's ready for and you might be if only Marie were not in your life.  Also it doesn't sound like Marie is actually doing or saying anything that would give you the impression she would like you back, though she may just be respecting that you're involved with Annie.

It would be true to tell Annie that you are "not ready" for more of a commitment to her. Don't have her move in. You do not have to tell her about your feelings for Marie. That's for you to figure out. I think you need to call Marie and ask her out to lunch. Or take a walk in the park. Ask her if she ever thinks of you in a romantic way, if there is any spark there. Give her the chance to be honest and respect what she says.

If she's willing to give it another go, probably you need to tell Annie you need to take a break.

That's the best I can do with advice on this one.

Let me know what happens Robert!

Missy

C 2022 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot