Hi Missy,
I'm 37 and have been a mistress for 7 years. My relatives think that I never meet men, never get asked out, and that I'll never get married and have children unless they match-make me. They are right. I never go out to meet other men and I don't accept dates. I'm fine as I am and not worried about getting married to anyone or having children. My man has four children, one still at home, and doesn't want more. So the real problem is that I don't want to tell them why I'm not interested. That I'm in love with a man already. I met a couple of the men they wanted to introduce me to. Luckily they weren't that interested in me. Then I stopped meeting the men they wanted for me but they haven't backed off. It's both my grandmothers, my mother, and my sister. It's so ridiculous that they even suggested I meet a 2nd cousin of ours! They're desperate for me. I can't stand it. What do you suggest?
Carol
Bloomington
Answer from Missy
Hi Carol,
I know someone whose relatives all think she's lesbian because she hasn't brought any men around. She does not protest.
Try not to get defensive. The best thing to do is not talk about it. Talk about the things that interest you. Have interests not issues.
I would call them all on the same day and tell them you feel pressured by them as individuals and collectively and that you will no longer be entertaining any of their matchmaking suggestions. If at some other time in your life you are interested in meeting men, you will let them know. If someone calls you and starts up on this subject after you have told them to cut it out, gently say, "I have to go" and cease the conversation. Say "GoodBye!" and hang up. Be consistent. They'll eventually get the message.
Missy
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