Thursday, December 31, 2020
Tuesday, December 29, 2020
Friday, December 25, 2020
Thursday, December 24, 2020
Wednesday, December 23, 2020
A SPECIAL THANK YOU FROM MISSY
The Coronoavirus-19 Pandemic has severely effected all of us. Though so far I have not been ill, it sometimes seems that the precautions we take that have altered our lives are a bit paranoid. Any little cough, sneeze, or ache, and we're worried. Reading around it, the virus has caused not just economic issues but relationship issues, which includes an increase in filings for bankruptcy and divorce.
I wondered how I was going to make it through the year of 2020 researching and writing this blog. For a while I thought I would have to publish every other month - that could still happen. But not for the reason I thought. Rather Google has forced a so called "upgrade" on Google Blogger that is beyond a learning curve, it is a time waster. It has left me unable to easily find my research and so on and when I look for past posts and potential future posts, I feel like screaming. Repetitive messages to Google stating that I wanted to remain a Legacy Blogger of no use. So maybe it's time to move this blog to another company?
I wondered how I was going to make it through the year of 2020 researching and writing this blog. For a while I thought I would have to publish every other month - that could still happen. But not for the reason I thought. Rather Google has forced a so called "upgrade" on Google Blogger that is beyond a learning curve, it is a time waster. It has left me unable to easily find my research and so on and when I look for past posts and potential future posts, I feel like screaming. Repetitive messages to Google stating that I wanted to remain a Legacy Blogger of no use. So maybe it's time to move this blog to another company?
With all the libraries closed, my access to actual books, as I rarely buy them to research, has been limited. I had to look through my notes on books I read in the past - as well as consider that using the Internet perhaps more than I normally would. However, these limitations also made me think and work in a different way, perhaps a more modern way.
Meanwhile, I wondered how some of the people who read MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT, people whose extramarital relationships are what keeps them going, were doing. You see, every time I think that maybe I'm going to run out of people to feature in the blog, I learn about someone else who was or is Kept, at least a little Kept, or another book, or sometimes a reader leaves a suggestion about someone I should research in comments.
So some people wonder WHY DO I DO IT? WHY DO I WORK SO HARD ON THIS BLOG?
LIKE YOU probably, like most people, I came to maturity thinking that love and marriage would come naturally to me, and that marriage was for a life time and I expected loyalty and faithfulness. I was surrounded by people who came to marriage that same way, with that same expectation, as well as a sense of religious responsibility, and you could say, duty, to their spouses. It was rare for anyone I knew to get a divorce. One of my best high school friends never mentioned that her parents were going through a rather brutal divorce because they continued to live in the same house and share child care. Divorce was a shameful thing. I heard the details years later.
Then some of my friends naturally progressed into marriage and I did not. I got my heart broken, though some of them had experienced that too, and then found someone they wanted to marry. I got over my broken heart and wanted independence. My women friends were from intact families, had parents who stayed married, and seemed to go into their marriages with all the right reasons. I'll never forget one of my best women friends telling me, "I like him, I love him, and I'm in love with him," so I'm marrying him. Wow!
But within a couple years she was having a hot affair with the new Mr. Right, a man in her workplace. I thought she was asking to be caught and loose her career. It ended and she stayed with Mr. Wrong.
My women friends married, divorced, remarried, divorced, had affairs - some of which they hoped would lead to another marriage. Then, I learned that some of them were being Kept - at least for a little while. That isn't how they put it. More it would be about how they had seen so and so and he had given them a little money to help them out or that he bought a car - or a house. What was happening that so many smart, pretty - even beautiful, women, educated, nice personalities, in my opinion desirable women, were having such a rough time of romance? Were they settling in being Kept rather than settle into a bad marriage?
To face reality, I had to face the fact that while affairs are rather common; some of them break marriages and some do not. Some people stay married and have long term extramarital relationships. Some people are married and divorced several times in this life - serial monogamists. Some people, especially women, despite their educations, do not earn a good income, and really do need the financial help of someone who is doing better than they are and that someone is usually a man. Some people love more than one person at a time. I could go on, but the point is Mistresses exist, have existed historically for centuries, and they are fascinating people.
I learned that the books that sell the best are romance novels - bodice rippers - and women who read them are often fantasizing about a romance outside their relationship. They are trying on being seduced or becoming a Mistress. What are the stereotypes? And so, I decided to look into it and try to come up with more answers than questions.
Within MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT you will find many people - mostly women who were famous enough that books were written about them or by them - to learn about. You may come to some understanding. You may find you're just like one or another. You may make a decision about what's happening in your own life. You may find compassion for someone you don't think you're anything like. You may discover you want to be married. Or never marry. Or that you do or don't want to stay in a relationship as is. Or have more than one partner at a time. That you are not as conventional and rule bound as you thought.
I look forward to another year of Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot and hope you'll continue to read!
Best Wishes for the New Year!
Missy
Meanwhile, I wondered how some of the people who read MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT, people whose extramarital relationships are what keeps them going, were doing. You see, every time I think that maybe I'm going to run out of people to feature in the blog, I learn about someone else who was or is Kept, at least a little Kept, or another book, or sometimes a reader leaves a suggestion about someone I should research in comments.
So some people wonder WHY DO I DO IT? WHY DO I WORK SO HARD ON THIS BLOG?
LIKE YOU probably, like most people, I came to maturity thinking that love and marriage would come naturally to me, and that marriage was for a life time and I expected loyalty and faithfulness. I was surrounded by people who came to marriage that same way, with that same expectation, as well as a sense of religious responsibility, and you could say, duty, to their spouses. It was rare for anyone I knew to get a divorce. One of my best high school friends never mentioned that her parents were going through a rather brutal divorce because they continued to live in the same house and share child care. Divorce was a shameful thing. I heard the details years later.
Then some of my friends naturally progressed into marriage and I did not. I got my heart broken, though some of them had experienced that too, and then found someone they wanted to marry. I got over my broken heart and wanted independence. My women friends were from intact families, had parents who stayed married, and seemed to go into their marriages with all the right reasons. I'll never forget one of my best women friends telling me, "I like him, I love him, and I'm in love with him," so I'm marrying him. Wow!
But within a couple years she was having a hot affair with the new Mr. Right, a man in her workplace. I thought she was asking to be caught and loose her career. It ended and she stayed with Mr. Wrong.
My women friends married, divorced, remarried, divorced, had affairs - some of which they hoped would lead to another marriage. Then, I learned that some of them were being Kept - at least for a little while. That isn't how they put it. More it would be about how they had seen so and so and he had given them a little money to help them out or that he bought a car - or a house. What was happening that so many smart, pretty - even beautiful, women, educated, nice personalities, in my opinion desirable women, were having such a rough time of romance? Were they settling in being Kept rather than settle into a bad marriage?
To face reality, I had to face the fact that while affairs are rather common; some of them break marriages and some do not. Some people stay married and have long term extramarital relationships. Some people are married and divorced several times in this life - serial monogamists. Some people, especially women, despite their educations, do not earn a good income, and really do need the financial help of someone who is doing better than they are and that someone is usually a man. Some people love more than one person at a time. I could go on, but the point is Mistresses exist, have existed historically for centuries, and they are fascinating people.
I learned that the books that sell the best are romance novels - bodice rippers - and women who read them are often fantasizing about a romance outside their relationship. They are trying on being seduced or becoming a Mistress. What are the stereotypes? And so, I decided to look into it and try to come up with more answers than questions.
Within MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT you will find many people - mostly women who were famous enough that books were written about them or by them - to learn about. You may come to some understanding. You may find you're just like one or another. You may make a decision about what's happening in your own life. You may find compassion for someone you don't think you're anything like. You may discover you want to be married. Or never marry. Or that you do or don't want to stay in a relationship as is. Or have more than one partner at a time. That you are not as conventional and rule bound as you thought.
I look forward to another year of Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot and hope you'll continue to read!
Best Wishes for the New Year!
Missy
Tuesday, December 22, 2020
Friday, December 18, 2020
PLAYING SECRET BENEFACTOR IS JUST THE THING TO DO WITH YOUR EXTRA MONEY
There are so many places seeking unpaid workers (volunteers) and there are so many worthy non-profits to send (potentially tax-deductible) monetary donations to.
Sometimes I think the best way to give is when you get no credit or recognition other than perhaps a personal sense of satisfaction that you helped someone. Since we still have cash, may I suggest that you play secret benefactor to a friend or relative or stranger with it?
The first time I did this I was visiting a distant relative. She had just enough to pay her bills but I knew things were a bit tight for her during the holidays when she could not afford to give her grandchildren more than token gifts. The family wasn't materialistic. They were devout Christians who felt there was no reason for Christmas without a belief in Christ. Still, children are children and love getting something unexpected. So I went to visit during a small get together, used the bathroom, and tucked cash money behind some items in her medicine cabinet. She mentioned the discovery of this money to me a few months later on the phone. I didn't confess.
A friend sent fifty cash dollars in an envelope to her friend who was going through a divorce in a Christmas card. Her friend said "someone" had done this and "forgotten" to sign the card.
Another friend owed $250 to a man who had been a platonic friend when he went and paid her storage unit at a time when she was ill. It took her a while to earn the money she owed him and during that time he had met and moved in with a woman and their platonic friendship had ended due to his interest in this new love. After some time she learned where he lived. So she hired a delivery man to go there and ask for him. When this man who had been generous and helpful came to the door. The delivery man handed over a small Christmas box with $500 in cash in it to him.
You don't have to be rich to play Secret Benefactor. If you have many young nephews and nieces, sending them a handmade Christmas card with even a dollar or two, can be a big deal for them, some money of their own to spend as they please or save - in that gumball machine.
I had an elderly friend some years ago who himself had not a lot of money. His daughter would give him $20 once in a while, expecting he would go to a coffee house and sit a while, using the money for coffee. He never failed to buy a coffee for someone else - usually someone he saw hanging out without spending. He remembered being a "country bumpkin" who had gotten stranded in a big city overnight in his youth and having to ask strangers for money so that he could have something to eat while he waited for his dad to come get him. I'm sure he has been blessed for his kindness to others.
Playing it Forward can also be rewarding. I volunteered recently at a bake sale where there were lots of goodies for children. A man came in and handed me $10 and said to give the next ten children a free goodie on him.
I know you won't have to think too hard about being a Secret Benefactor... it's FUN!
Missy
(Try to research organizations that ask for contributions so that you know a bit more what you are supporting with your money. A Non Profit porthole type site for your state may be on the Internet.)
Missy
Sometimes I think the best way to give is when you get no credit or recognition other than perhaps a personal sense of satisfaction that you helped someone. Since we still have cash, may I suggest that you play secret benefactor to a friend or relative or stranger with it?
The first time I did this I was visiting a distant relative. She had just enough to pay her bills but I knew things were a bit tight for her during the holidays when she could not afford to give her grandchildren more than token gifts. The family wasn't materialistic. They were devout Christians who felt there was no reason for Christmas without a belief in Christ. Still, children are children and love getting something unexpected. So I went to visit during a small get together, used the bathroom, and tucked cash money behind some items in her medicine cabinet. She mentioned the discovery of this money to me a few months later on the phone. I didn't confess.
A friend sent fifty cash dollars in an envelope to her friend who was going through a divorce in a Christmas card. Her friend said "someone" had done this and "forgotten" to sign the card.
Another friend owed $250 to a man who had been a platonic friend when he went and paid her storage unit at a time when she was ill. It took her a while to earn the money she owed him and during that time he had met and moved in with a woman and their platonic friendship had ended due to his interest in this new love. After some time she learned where he lived. So she hired a delivery man to go there and ask for him. When this man who had been generous and helpful came to the door. The delivery man handed over a small Christmas box with $500 in cash in it to him.
You don't have to be rich to play Secret Benefactor. If you have many young nephews and nieces, sending them a handmade Christmas card with even a dollar or two, can be a big deal for them, some money of their own to spend as they please or save - in that gumball machine.
I had an elderly friend some years ago who himself had not a lot of money. His daughter would give him $20 once in a while, expecting he would go to a coffee house and sit a while, using the money for coffee. He never failed to buy a coffee for someone else - usually someone he saw hanging out without spending. He remembered being a "country bumpkin" who had gotten stranded in a big city overnight in his youth and having to ask strangers for money so that he could have something to eat while he waited for his dad to come get him. I'm sure he has been blessed for his kindness to others.
Playing it Forward can also be rewarding. I volunteered recently at a bake sale where there were lots of goodies for children. A man came in and handed me $10 and said to give the next ten children a free goodie on him.
I know you won't have to think too hard about being a Secret Benefactor... it's FUN!
Missy
(Try to research organizations that ask for contributions so that you know a bit more what you are supporting with your money. A Non Profit porthole type site for your state may be on the Internet.)
Missy
Thursday, December 17, 2020
Tuesday, December 15, 2020
CROSSING DELANCEY : MISTRESS MANIFESTO FILM REVIEW
The Pickle Man! Once upon a time just about every woman who watched this film in 1988 came out of the theater wanting a husband like The Pickle Man, even if they were not Jewish, living in New York, or working at a book store. The man is played by actor Peter Riegert and beautiful actress Amy Irving is the young woman with a job and apartment who almost becomes the Mistress of a snobbish literary author who does readings at the independently owned bookstore that she works at. Oh the days pre Internet, pre cell-phone, pre on-line book stores!
A fictive film based on the cultural changes that independent Jewish-American women experienced years ago, such as marrying men who were not Jewish, attempting to be single mothers without financial support from men, and rejecting the good intentions of their grandma's. And oh the matchmaker in this film is something else. I'd be afraid of her!
What changes Isabelle's mind about Sam, isn't her girlfriend who wants him, but that he hadn't actually hired a matchmaker after all.
Enjoy this one!
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